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Эпизод с принцессой Консуэлой
The One with Princess Consuela
Сезон: 10Серия: 14
Описание
Рейчел проходит собеседование в ресторане Gucci, однако её босс из Ralph Lauren застаёт её за соседним столиком, и в итоге её увольняют. Её неадекватное поведение перед представителем Gucci (Брент Спинер) также приводит к тому, что она не получает эту работу. По иронии судьбы она случайно встречает своего старого коллегу Марка из Bloomingdale's, который организует ей собеседование, которое она успешно проходит, но предложение о работе поступает от Louis Vuitton в Париже. Недавно вышедшая замуж Фиби пытается сменить имя на Фиби Ханниган, но, узнав от государственного служащего (Крейг Робинсон), что она может менять имя на любое, она меняет его на «Принцесса Консуэла Бананахаммок», но настаивает, чтобы друзья называли её Валери. Майк не впечатлён этим и решает показать свою правоту, сменив своё имя на «Дерьмовый мешок». В конце концов принцесса Консуэла получает желаемое и снова меняет имя на Фиби Буффе-Ханниган, хотя изначально хотела оставить имя Бананахаммок, пока Майк не сказал ей, что это плавки-спидо. Тем временем Моника и Чендлер умоляют подавленного Джоуи показать им их новый дом, и он встречает восьмилетнюю девочку (Дакота Фаннинг), которая заставляет его понять, что он должен отпустить их.
Субтитры
- 00:00:03,796 --> 00:00:05,589 Thank you guys for having us over.
- 00:00:05,756 --> 00:00:09,260 - Yeah, this is fun, couples night. - I don't know why we don't hang out...
- 00:00:09,427 --> 00:00:12,596 -...with married couples more often. - Because every time we do...
- 00:00:12,763 --> 00:00:15,975 ...you make jokes about swinging and scare them away.
- 00:00:17,101 --> 00:00:21,022 You mean that Portuguese couple? Yeah, like you wouldn't have done it.
- 00:00:22,982 --> 00:00:25,735 Hey, you guys, I have great news.
- 00:00:25,943 --> 00:00:30,948 - Ross, we're kind of in the middle of dinner. - Oh, well, I already ate, but sure.
- 00:00:33,284 --> 00:00:37,288 - Guess what happened at work today. - A dinosaur died a million years ago?
- 00:00:37,455 --> 00:00:41,459 Uh, try 65 million years ago. And then try: Shh!
- 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:47,673 My tenure review board met today, and I hear it's looking really good.
- 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:48,883 PHOEBE: Wow. - Yeah.
- 00:00:49,050 --> 00:00:51,677 Do you have any idea what this means in academic circles?
- 00:00:51,844 --> 00:00:53,888 I am gonna get laid.
- 00:00:56,057 --> 00:00:58,142 - Hi, you guys. CHANDLER: Hey.
- 00:00:58,309 --> 00:00:59,643 Oh, Italian.
- 00:01:00,061 --> 00:01:02,354 No one-- No one wanted seconds, right?
- 00:01:02,521 --> 00:01:03,898 No, I'm good.
- 00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:07,568 Guys, you're never gonna believe it. This headhunter called me.
- 00:01:07,777 --> 00:01:11,739 I have a meeting tomorrow with Gucci. Gucci wants me.
- 00:01:11,906 --> 00:01:13,824 - I'm up for tenure. - Congratulations.
- 00:01:13,991 --> 00:01:16,911 - You too. What are the odds? - Oh...
- 00:01:17,161 --> 00:01:18,662 Guess what.
- 00:01:19,371 --> 00:01:22,792 I finally got that seed out of my teeth.
- 00:01:24,502 --> 00:01:26,212 I don't know who I'm happiest for.
- 00:01:26,378 --> 00:01:29,090 I do. He's been working on that all day.
- 00:02:21,392 --> 00:02:25,271 Hey, Mon, was it weird changing your name to Geller Bing?
- 00:02:25,521 --> 00:02:29,191 No. No, it felt nice to acknowledge this.
- 00:02:29,358 --> 00:02:31,861 - Where'd you go to do it? - Um, the--
- 00:02:32,027 --> 00:02:34,905 The Ministry of Names...
- 00:02:36,448 --> 00:02:37,741 ...Bureau.
- 00:02:38,576 --> 00:02:40,077 You never did it.
- 00:02:40,244 --> 00:02:42,538 I'm sorry. It's just the idea of--
- 00:02:42,746 --> 00:02:45,457 Of being an official Bing.
- 00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:49,587 Hey, I will have you know that--
- 00:02:49,753 --> 00:02:53,841 Ah, who am I kidding? Let's call the kid Geller and let Bing die with me.
- 00:02:55,801 --> 00:02:56,886 - Here you go. - Thanks.
- 00:02:57,052 --> 00:02:59,054 Honey, would you want me to take your name?
- 00:02:59,263 --> 00:03:02,474 Oh, it's up to you. It's your name. You've gotta live with it.
- 00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:05,936 - Let's see. Call me Mrs. Hannigan. - Mrs. Hannigan?
- 00:03:06,103 --> 00:03:08,439 What, can't you see I'm in the middle of something?
- 00:03:10,191 --> 00:03:11,692 I like it.
- 00:03:12,818 --> 00:03:14,612 - Hey, guys. CHANDLER: Hey, Joe.
- 00:03:14,778 --> 00:03:17,740 We got things to check out at the new house. You want to come?
- 00:03:17,907 --> 00:03:21,202 - No, thank you. - You're not happy about us moving...
- 00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:23,787 ...but you're the only one who hasn't seen the house.
- 00:03:23,954 --> 00:03:25,623 You'll see how close it is to the city.
- 00:03:25,789 --> 00:03:28,626 No, it's not close. You said it was in escrow.
- 00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:31,003 I couldn't even find that on the map.
- 00:03:34,590 --> 00:03:38,010 Joey, please come. It would mean so much to us.
- 00:03:39,970 --> 00:03:42,973 You know what? You are my friends. I want to be supportive.
- 00:03:43,140 --> 00:03:45,392 - I will come with you. Shotgun. - Damn it.
- 00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:48,479 See you guys later. We'll pick you up at 11.
- 00:03:48,646 --> 00:03:50,689 - So glad you're coming. - All right.
- 00:03:51,649 --> 00:03:55,194 - Good for you. That was really mature. - What? The only reason I'm going...
- 00:03:55,361 --> 00:03:58,656 ...to their stupid new house is to point out everything wrong with it...
- 00:03:58,822 --> 00:04:01,533 ...so they don't move. I'm gonna make them stay here.
- 00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:04,370 You're a strange kind of grown-up.
- 00:04:06,038 --> 00:04:09,291 Joey, you can't make someone do something they don't want to do.
- 00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:12,962 Believe me. There's something I've been trying to get Mike to do in bed, and--
- 00:04:13,128 --> 00:04:18,467 - Whoa. Can we not talk about that now? - All right. Prude.
- 00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:23,222 Look, Monica and Chandler really love this house.
- 00:04:23,389 --> 00:04:25,683 You are not gonna talk them into staying here.
- 00:04:25,849 --> 00:04:28,560 Hey, I can convince people to do anything, you know?
- 00:04:28,727 --> 00:04:31,897 I bet I could even get Mike to do that thing. What is it'?
- 00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:37,695 I am not gonna help you do that!
- 00:04:37,861 --> 00:04:39,905 Oh, my God.
- 00:04:46,161 --> 00:04:50,332 Hi. Um, I'm here to see Mr. Campbell, with Gucci.
- 00:04:50,499 --> 00:04:53,585 The reservation's probably under Gucci.
- 00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:56,839 It's spelled like "gucky," which can be confusing.
- 00:04:57,881 --> 00:05:01,635 Mr. Campbell's not here yet. Let me show you to his table.
- 00:05:05,306 --> 00:05:08,434 Oh, my God. That's my boss. You have to seat us somewhere else.
- 00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:10,811 I'm sorry, that's always Mr. Campbell's table.
- 00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:15,024 But my boss cannot see me. I'm interviewing for another job.
- 00:05:15,190 --> 00:05:18,694 - I know. With Gucky. - Shh!
- 00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:23,782 - Rachel? - I'm on a date.
- 00:05:24,408 --> 00:05:26,327 That's great.
- 00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:30,039 Yeah, it is. Yeah, you know, it's tough. Single mom. Career.
- 00:05:30,205 --> 00:05:32,833 You gotta get out there.
- 00:05:33,042 --> 00:05:36,587 - Well, you've got a good energy. - Oh.
- 00:05:36,754 --> 00:05:38,088 - Rachel? - Yes, hi.
- 00:05:38,255 --> 00:05:39,715 - James Campbell. - Hi.
- 00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:41,425 - Excuse us. - Please.
- 00:05:41,592 --> 00:05:42,926 Okay.
- 00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:44,136 Oh.
- 00:05:44,803 --> 00:05:47,097 He's cute.
- 00:05:47,806 --> 00:05:49,099 So...
- 00:05:49,266 --> 00:05:51,685 ...your resume is quite impressive.
- 00:05:52,353 --> 00:05:55,939 My, ha, ha... My résumé?
- 00:05:56,106 --> 00:06:01,487 I wouldn't-- I wouldn't call my online dating profile a résumé.
- 00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:05,032 Dating profile? No, I'm-- I'm talking about the work résumé.
- 00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:07,451 [SINGING INDISTINCTLY]
- 00:06:08,786 --> 00:06:12,456 Whatever happened to just singing for no reason?
- 00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:16,377 Maybe people found it weird.
- 00:06:17,836 --> 00:06:19,963 - Maybe. CAMPBELL: 80...
- 00:06:20,506 --> 00:06:23,467 - Why do you want to leave Ralph Lauren? - What?
- 00:06:23,634 --> 00:06:25,302 - I don't. - You don't?
- 00:06:25,469 --> 00:06:27,346 No, I love-- I love it there.
- 00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:30,682 Well, if you don't want to leave, why are we having this lunch?
- 00:06:31,308 --> 00:06:33,185 [WHISPERING] That is my boss.
- 00:06:33,352 --> 00:06:34,436 What?
- 00:06:34,603 --> 00:06:36,563 [WHISPERING] That is my boss.
- 00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:38,482 That's Hugo Boss?
- 00:06:45,614 --> 00:06:50,035 God, this place is so depressing. If I had to work here, I'd kill myself.
- 00:06:53,414 --> 00:06:55,582 But you obviously haven't.
- 00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:59,837 - How can I help you? - I need to change my name, please.
- 00:07:00,003 --> 00:07:03,674 See, I need to change it because I'm hiding from the law.
- 00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:07,719 You're fun.
- 00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:10,973 - You need to fill out this form. - Okay. Well, just so I know--
- 00:07:11,140 --> 00:07:13,475 I don't know how it works. My name is Buffay...
- 00:07:13,642 --> 00:07:15,436 ...and my husband's name is Hannigan.
- 00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:18,689 So is it supposed to be "Buffay-Hannigan" or "Hannigan-Buffay"?
- 00:07:18,856 --> 00:07:21,442 - It can be anything you want. - Well, not anything.
- 00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:24,153 Yeah. Anything.
- 00:07:25,195 --> 00:07:28,031 Oh, this could take a while.
- 00:07:29,408 --> 00:07:31,910 - Get out of my line. - Okay.
- 00:07:36,290 --> 00:07:37,749 - Hey. MONICA: Hey, Pheebs.
- 00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:40,586 Oh, not anymore. I changed it today.
- 00:07:40,752 --> 00:07:44,256 - Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs. Hannigan. - Wrong again.
- 00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:48,218 Apparently, you can change it to anything.
- 00:07:48,385 --> 00:07:51,430 So I thought, "All right, here's an opportunity to be creative."
- 00:07:51,597 --> 00:07:55,350 So meet Princess Consuela Bananahammock.
- 00:08:02,274 --> 00:08:04,193 That's what we were gonna name the baby.
- 00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:10,324 - Phoebe. - Ah, Princess Consuela.
- 00:08:11,283 --> 00:08:13,202 - You changed your name to that? - Uh-huh.
- 00:08:13,368 --> 00:08:16,580 Okay, so from now on, we have to call you Princess Consuela?
- 00:08:16,747 --> 00:08:19,917 No, I'm gonna have my friends call me Valerie.
- 00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:27,382 - Hey, how did the interview go? - Ugh. Not good.
- 00:08:27,591 --> 00:08:31,637 I always feel that way after an interview I'll bet it went better than you think.
- 00:08:31,803 --> 00:08:36,683 Well, I didn't get the job at Gucci and I got fired from Ralph Lauren.
- 00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:39,144 That is a bad interview.
- 00:08:39,311 --> 00:08:41,772 What are you talking about? How did this happen?
- 00:08:41,939 --> 00:08:45,901 My boss was at the same restaurant where I was having my interview...
- 00:08:46,109 --> 00:08:47,528 ...and he heard everything.
- 00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:51,532 Later, he calls me into his office and tells me he'll have to let me go...
- 00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:53,325 ...because I'm not a team player.
- 00:08:53,492 --> 00:08:55,494 And I said, "Wait a minute. Yes, I am."
- 00:08:55,661 --> 00:08:58,121 And then I had to sit there for 45 minutes...
- 00:08:58,288 --> 00:09:02,876 ...while he proved that that, in fact, was true.
- 00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:06,797 - Oh, God, I'm so sorry. - God.
- 00:09:07,339 --> 00:09:08,674 H93'-
- 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:11,969 What--? What's this?
- 00:09:12,135 --> 00:09:16,181 Why, it's a bottle of champagne. Why is this here?
- 00:09:16,348 --> 00:09:18,100 - Ross. - I guess it's here...
- 00:09:18,267 --> 00:09:19,851 ...because I got tenure!
- 00:09:20,018 --> 00:09:21,937 ALL: Congratulations. - Wow.
- 00:09:22,145 --> 00:09:25,357 This is the single greatest day of my professional career.
- 00:09:25,566 --> 00:09:27,693 - Gunther. Six glasses. - Six?
- 00:09:27,859 --> 00:09:31,405 - You want me to join you? - I thought Joey was here. Five is good.
- 00:09:34,992 --> 00:09:38,078 Wow, I'm gonna have a loogey in my coffee tomorrow.
- 00:09:38,537 --> 00:09:41,623 Ooh. Israeli champagne.
- 00:09:41,790 --> 00:09:44,001 And it's vanilla.
- 00:09:44,585 --> 00:09:47,254 I got tenure. I didn't win the lottery.
- 00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:50,674 Hey, Rach, so, uh, how did your thing go?
- 00:09:50,841 --> 00:09:53,760 Oh, good. But I won't hear about that for a couple days.
- 00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:57,097 Oh, you know what, you're gonna get it. I can feel it.
- 00:09:57,306 --> 00:09:58,932 Can yQu'_7
- 00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:01,393 All right, everybody, here's to Ross.
- 00:10:01,560 --> 00:10:06,064 And to years of hard work finally paying off.
- 00:10:06,231 --> 00:10:10,235 And to knowing that your career doesn't mean everything.
- 00:10:10,694 --> 00:10:14,239 But also knowing it means a lot.
- 00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:17,909 But more importantly, to full, well-rounded lives.
- 00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:19,870 That center around work.
- 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,039 - To Ross. ROSS: To Ross.
- 00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:29,588 You know what the best part about this is? I can never be fired.
- 00:10:29,755 --> 00:10:31,131 - Oh, God. ROSS: No, seriously.
- 00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:33,634 I have job security for life.
- 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:36,178 You know? I mean, I never have to worry.
- 00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:39,765 Oh, look at you. Look how happy you are for me.
- 00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:45,646 [CRYING] No, it's not that. I got fired today.
- 00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:48,106 And I didn't get the other job.
- 00:10:50,776 --> 00:10:54,363 - Oh, my-- Rach, I'm so sorry. - Oh...
- 00:10:54,529 --> 00:10:58,283 - Great, I feel like an idiot. - No, it's okay. You didn't know.
- 00:11:00,243 --> 00:11:02,037 Little heads-up would've been nice.
- 00:11:11,713 --> 00:11:13,465 Thank you for letting us see the house again.
- 00:11:13,632 --> 00:11:16,218 And thank you for explaining to us what "escrow" means.
- 00:11:16,385 --> 00:11:19,429 I've already forgotten what you said, but thank you.
- 00:11:19,596 --> 00:11:22,641 Take as long as you want. Just let me know when you're through.
- 00:11:23,058 --> 00:11:24,351 MONICA: Okay, thanks.
- 00:11:24,643 --> 00:11:28,730 - Aw, so glad you decided to come. - Me, too. Yeah, this place is great.
- 00:11:28,897 --> 00:11:33,610 So happy for you guys. Although, you know, I hope you like fungus.
- 00:11:34,986 --> 00:11:36,446 - What? - Fungus.
- 00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:38,365 Yeah. Place is full of it.
- 00:11:38,907 --> 00:11:42,160 No, it's not. We had an inspection and they didn't find anything.
- 00:11:42,327 --> 00:11:45,872 Okay. Then I guess I have dry eyes and a scratchy throat for no reason.
- 00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:48,959 Maybe it's because you hung your head out the window like a dog...
- 00:11:49,126 --> 00:11:50,836 ...the whole ride here.
- 00:11:52,796 --> 00:11:54,214 Maybe.
- 00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:58,760 So this is the living room, huh? It's pretty dark.
- 00:12:02,514 --> 00:12:04,474 - No, it's not. - Are you kidding?
- 00:12:04,641 --> 00:12:07,185 I think I just saw a bat in the corner.
- 00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:12,190 When your head was hanging out the window, it didn't hit a mailbox, did it?
- 00:12:13,525 --> 00:12:14,860 Maybe.
- 00:12:16,111 --> 00:12:19,448 Look, I just think you guys can do better than this house, you know?
- 00:12:19,614 --> 00:12:21,533 Or any other house for that matter.
- 00:12:21,700 --> 00:12:22,993 Oh, Joey.
- 00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:25,787 We know you're having a hard time with this, but we--
- 00:12:25,954 --> 00:12:28,665 - We love it here. - Fine! If you love this house so much...
- 00:12:28,832 --> 00:12:32,002 ...you should live here. I hope you get used to that humming sound.
- 00:12:32,169 --> 00:12:34,546 [HUMMING]
- 00:12:34,838 --> 00:12:37,174 - Joey, we know that's you. - No...
- 00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:38,383 ...it's not.
- 00:12:38,550 --> 00:12:40,552 [CONTINUES HUMMING]
- 00:12:43,597 --> 00:12:44,723 - Hey. PHOEBE: Hey.
- 00:12:45,348 --> 00:12:47,017 - Welcome back. - I missed you.
- 00:12:47,184 --> 00:12:48,977 - Oh, me too. - So, what's new?
- 00:12:49,186 --> 00:12:51,605 Well, I am no longer Phoebe Buffay.
- 00:12:51,813 --> 00:12:54,274 - That's great. You changed your name? PHOEBE: Yes, I did.
- 00:12:54,441 --> 00:12:58,570 Meet Princess Consuela Bananahammock.
- 00:13:00,155 --> 00:13:02,240 - You're kidding, right? - Nope.
- 00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:04,409 - You really did that? - Yep.
- 00:13:04,576 --> 00:13:06,745 You can't do that.
- 00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:08,246 Why?
- 00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:11,750 Why? It's fun. It's different. No one else has a name like it.
- 00:13:13,376 --> 00:13:15,045 Then I'm gonna change my name.
- 00:13:15,212 --> 00:13:17,422 Great. Okay, what are you gonna change it to?
- 00:13:18,048 --> 00:13:19,508 Crap B39-
- 00:13:21,218 --> 00:13:24,846 - Mike Crap Bag? - No. No "Mike." No, just "Crap Bag."
- 00:13:25,013 --> 00:13:28,016 First name: Crap. Last name: Bag.
- 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:31,102 - You're not serious, right? - Yeah, I'm serious.
- 00:13:31,269 --> 00:13:33,939 It's fun, it's different, and no one else has a name like that.
- 00:13:34,105 --> 00:13:38,360 Uh-huh. Well, then great. lfyouloveiLlloveiL
- 00:13:38,568 --> 00:13:41,613 I do love it. And I love your name. I love Princess Consuela.
- 00:13:41,780 --> 00:13:44,032 And I love Crap.
- 00:13:49,746 --> 00:13:51,164 Oh.
- 00:13:53,250 --> 00:13:56,253 - Who are you? - Oh, hi. I'm Joey.
- 00:13:56,419 --> 00:13:59,297 My stupid friends are buying this house. Who are you?
- 00:13:59,548 --> 00:14:03,343 I'm Mackenzie. My stupid parents are selling this house.
- 00:14:05,428 --> 00:14:07,305 I hate my parents.
- 00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:09,808 I hate my friends.
- 00:14:12,561 --> 00:14:15,981 Look, there's gotta be a way that we can stop this from happening.
- 00:14:16,147 --> 00:14:17,732 Like what?
- 00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:23,697 Oh! Okay, you come with me and you tell them that the house is haunted.
- 00:14:23,864 --> 00:14:26,032 What are you, 8?
- 00:14:28,118 --> 00:14:34,165 - Okay. Let's hear your great idea. - I don't have any great ideas. I am 8.
- 00:14:35,959 --> 00:14:39,296 Ah, there's gotta be a way. I mean, you know...
- 00:14:39,462 --> 00:14:42,799 ...if Monica and Chandler move out here, and Phoebe's married to Mike...
- 00:14:42,966 --> 00:14:46,678 ...that just leaves me and Ross and Rach. You know what I mean?
- 00:14:47,178 --> 00:14:48,763 I really don't.
- 00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:53,226 What am I gonna do? I feel like I'm losing my friends.
- 00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:56,688 - My parents say I'll make new friends. - Yeah, sure, easy for you.
- 00:14:56,855 --> 00:14:59,858 You're young. Me? I'm set in my ways.
- 00:15:01,484 --> 00:15:05,363 This is what my mom was talking about. Whiners are wieners.
- 00:15:08,783 --> 00:15:11,703 Look, you want your friends to be happy, right?
- 00:15:12,954 --> 00:15:15,498 Yeah. Yeah, I guess. Yeah.
- 00:15:15,999 --> 00:15:19,920 Well, if moving here is gonna make them happy, don't you want them to do it'?
- 00:15:20,462 --> 00:15:23,131 Yeah. Maybe.
- 00:15:24,174 --> 00:15:26,468 Then you've gotta let them go.
- 00:15:31,389 --> 00:15:33,850 Oh, I hate to admit it, but you're--
- 00:15:34,017 --> 00:15:36,394 You're probably right.
- 00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:38,730 How'd you get to be so smart?
- 00:15:40,023 --> 00:15:41,107 I read a lot.
- 00:15:42,817 --> 00:15:45,111 Just when I thought we could be friends.
- 00:15:49,032 --> 00:15:52,118 Oh, hey, Rach. I just heard. I'm so sorry.
- 00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:54,162 Oh, thank you...
- 00:15:54,913 --> 00:15:57,207 You still don't know my name, do you?
- 00:15:58,166 --> 00:16:00,085 Well, now I don't have to.
- 00:16:04,172 --> 00:16:07,509 Ross, what is taking you so long?
- 00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:19,562 I'm sorry. It's almost as if this wasn't built for a quick getaway.
- 00:16:22,232 --> 00:16:23,900 Rachel?
- 00:16:24,359 --> 00:16:27,112 Mark? Oh, my God.
- 00:16:27,362 --> 00:16:30,865 MARK: How have you been? - Fantastic. You remember Ross.
- 00:16:31,032 --> 00:16:33,201 - Sure. Sure. RACHEL: Oh.
- 00:16:33,368 --> 00:16:34,786 What's with the chair?
- 00:16:35,954 --> 00:16:41,042 Uh... You know, you can't always get a seat on the subway, so...
- 00:16:42,293 --> 00:16:44,087 Clever.
- 00:16:44,254 --> 00:16:45,422 So how are you?
- 00:16:45,588 --> 00:16:48,216 Oh. You're not catching me on my best day.
- 00:16:48,383 --> 00:16:51,428 Yeah, a box full of your desk stuff doesn't say "big promotion."
- 00:16:51,594 --> 00:16:55,265 No, but it's good. You know, I'm gonna take some time off...
- 00:16:55,432 --> 00:16:57,434 -...and do charity work. - Are you sure?
- 00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,436 We may have something at Louis Vuitton.
- 00:16:59,602 --> 00:17:02,105 Screw charity work. What do you got?
- 00:17:02,272 --> 00:17:04,149 Why don't we have dinner and talk?
- 00:17:04,774 --> 00:17:07,110 - Great. I'll call you. - Okay.
- 00:17:07,277 --> 00:17:09,988 - Nice to see you again. - Yeah. Yeah. I got tenure.
- 00:17:16,828 --> 00:17:17,871 Oh, my God.
- 00:17:18,038 --> 00:17:20,331 See? I told you something good would come along.
- 00:17:20,498 --> 00:17:23,460 And he seemed really nice. I've met him before?
- 00:17:23,626 --> 00:17:25,628 Ross, that's Mark.
- 00:17:25,795 --> 00:17:29,716 From Bloomingdale's? You were insanely jealous of him.
- 00:17:29,966 --> 00:17:31,760 - That is Mark? - Yes.
- 00:17:31,968 --> 00:17:33,344 - I hate that guy. - Oh...
- 00:17:34,471 --> 00:17:37,182 No, no, no. You cannot go to dinner with him.
- 00:17:37,348 --> 00:17:41,019 - What? You don't want me to get a job? - Yeah, I'm sure he'll give you a job.
- 00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:43,146 Maybe make you his "sex-cretary."
- 00:17:44,147 --> 00:17:46,524 I'm serious. I just don't trust that guy, okay?
- 00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:50,070 You know what--? Okay, let's talk about it later. There comes security.
- 00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:03,541 Oh, I love this street.
- 00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:08,546 The trees and the big front yards and the actual picket fences.
- 00:18:09,005 --> 00:18:11,382 Man, those two dogs are going at it.
- 00:18:13,968 --> 00:18:15,011 H93'-
- 00:18:15,178 --> 00:18:18,515 - Hey. Where you been? - Oh, just, uh, you know, looking around.
- 00:18:18,681 --> 00:18:20,183 But you know what?
- 00:18:20,350 --> 00:18:22,602 This house is great.
- 00:18:22,852 --> 00:18:24,562 Really? What changed your mind?
- 00:18:24,813 --> 00:18:28,483 The little girl who lives here made me feel better about the whole thing.
- 00:18:28,983 --> 00:18:33,321 Joey? There was a little girl who lived here, but she died, like, 30 years ago.
- 00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:40,036 What?
- 00:18:41,037 --> 00:18:43,373 I'm just messing with you.
- 00:18:44,165 --> 00:18:48,044 That's not funny. You know I'm afraid of little-girl ghosts.
- 00:18:48,419 --> 00:18:51,756 Joey, now that you're okay with the house, do you want to go see your room?
- 00:18:52,549 --> 00:18:53,842 What?
- 00:18:54,008 --> 00:18:55,260 I get my own room?
- 00:18:56,094 --> 00:18:59,430 You don't think we'd buy a house and not have a Joey room, do you?
- 00:19:00,223 --> 00:19:02,100 Oh, my God.
- 00:19:05,228 --> 00:19:08,523 Hey, can I have an aquarium? And a sex swing?
- 00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:13,903 BOTH: No. - Why not? I'll keep the tank clean.
- 00:19:16,865 --> 00:19:18,825 After you, Ms. Bananahammock.
- 00:19:18,992 --> 00:19:20,451 Thank you, Mr. Bag.
- 00:19:21,744 --> 00:19:22,787 Oh, hey!
- 00:19:22,954 --> 00:19:24,539 PHOEBE: Oh, hi, Rita. - How are you?
- 00:19:24,706 --> 00:19:26,749 Good. Oh, Rita's a massage client.
- 00:19:26,916 --> 00:19:28,459 Yeah.
- 00:19:28,626 --> 00:19:30,420 Why don't you introduce me?
- 00:19:32,922 --> 00:19:35,633 - Rita, this is my husband. - Oh.
- 00:19:35,884 --> 00:19:38,219 Why don't you tell her my name?
- 00:19:38,887 --> 00:19:43,725 Okay, I will. This is, uh-- This is my husband, Crap Bag.
- 00:19:45,602 --> 00:19:46,936 Crap Bag?
- 00:19:47,103 --> 00:19:51,858 If you need an easy way to remember it, just think of a bag of crap.
- 00:19:53,902 --> 00:19:57,488 - Okay. Excuse me. - Yeah.
- 00:19:58,573 --> 00:20:03,661 Ugh. Okay, fine, you made your point. Can you please just be Mike Hannigan again?
- 00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:05,413 Only if you'll be Phoebe Buffay.
- 00:20:07,081 --> 00:20:09,959 How about, um--? How about Buffay-Hannigan?
- 00:20:10,126 --> 00:20:11,961 - Really? - Yeah.
- 00:20:12,128 --> 00:20:15,131 I'm Phoebe Buffay-Hannigan-Bananahammock.
- 00:20:17,175 --> 00:20:19,344 Do you even know what a banana hammock is?
- 00:20:19,761 --> 00:20:21,346 It's a funny word.
- 00:20:21,512 --> 00:20:23,264 It's a Speedo.
- 00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:29,020 Oh, crap.
- 00:20:32,774 --> 00:20:35,485 - Hey, is Rachel here? MONICA: Nope.
- 00:20:35,652 --> 00:20:37,362 She's still at dinner?
- 00:20:37,528 --> 00:20:39,948 - I guess. Why, who's she with? - That guy, Mark...
- 00:20:40,114 --> 00:20:43,201 ...from Bloomingdale's. She thinks he's just being nice to her.
- 00:20:43,409 --> 00:20:45,495 But I know he really wants to sleep with her.
- 00:20:45,703 --> 00:20:48,498 It's seven years ago.
- 00:20:49,499 --> 00:20:52,043 My time machine works.
- 00:20:53,461 --> 00:20:57,131 We ran into him on the street today, and he said he might have a job for her.
- 00:20:57,298 --> 00:20:59,968 But I know he just wants to get into her pants.
- 00:21:00,677 --> 00:21:05,056 So, what if he wants to sleep with her? I mean, she's single, and he's cute.
- 00:21:05,223 --> 00:21:06,808 Excuse me?
- 00:21:07,058 --> 00:21:08,518 Oh, please.
- 00:21:08,685 --> 00:21:11,187 Yesterday, on the subway, you couldn't stop staring...
- 00:21:11,354 --> 00:21:13,231 ...at that woman with the big breasts.
- 00:21:13,439 --> 00:21:16,025 For your information, I was staring at her baby.
- 00:21:16,192 --> 00:21:18,236 We're about to be parents.
- 00:21:19,153 --> 00:21:21,030 Oh, sorry.
- 00:21:30,999 --> 00:21:34,043 - Hi, you guys. - Hi. So...
- 00:21:34,210 --> 00:21:37,755 -...how was dinner? - Oh, it was great. Mark is so sweet.
- 00:21:37,964 --> 00:21:41,718 Oh, yeah? Yeah, I wonder why? What could that smarmy letch possibly want?
- 00:21:41,884 --> 00:21:47,265 Oh, Ross. Come on. He is happily married. His wife just had twins.
- 00:21:47,890 --> 00:21:49,559 Should we send something?
- 00:21:50,893 --> 00:21:52,645 How did the job stuff go?
- 00:21:53,771 --> 00:21:55,189 He offered me one.
- 00:21:56,566 --> 00:21:58,568 - That's great. - Congratulations.
- 00:21:58,735 --> 00:22:00,611 I know, it's amazing.
- 00:22:01,487 --> 00:22:04,741 It's amazing. It's so much better than what I had at Ralph Lauren.
- 00:22:04,907 --> 00:22:07,368 - The money is great. - Can we--?
- 00:22:07,535 --> 00:22:12,040 Can we just stop for a second? Who said something better would come along? Huh?
- 00:22:12,206 --> 00:22:15,543 You didn't believe me. I told you everything was gonna work out.
- 00:22:15,752 --> 00:22:18,880 You know what? This calls for a bottle of Israel's finest.
- 00:22:22,925 --> 00:22:25,553 The job is in Paris.
- 00:22:38,274 --> 00:22:41,194 I mean, this soap opera is a great gig...
- 00:22:41,361 --> 00:22:43,196 ...but am I missing opportunities?
- 00:22:43,363 --> 00:22:46,282 You know, I've always thought of myself as a serious actor.
- 00:22:46,449 --> 00:22:48,951 Should I be trying to do more independent movies?
- 00:22:49,410 --> 00:22:51,412 I don't know.
- 00:22:52,580 --> 00:22:55,291 But you know what? I'm gonna put you on with my bear.
- 00:22:55,458 --> 00:22:57,210 Hold on.
- 00:22:58,503 --> 00:23:01,047 Hey, Bailey, I need some career advice.
- 00:23:04,634 --> 00:23:06,636 [English - US - SDH]
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