Эпизод, где Джоуи разговаривает по-французски
Описание
Фиби пытается научить Джои говорить по-французски для спектакля. У отца Рейчел случается сердечный приступ, поэтому она едет на Лонг-Айленд вместе с Россом, чтобы навестить его. Рейчел хочет заняться с Россом сексом из сочувствия, но он отказывает ей, считая это плохой идеей. На следующее утро Рейчел злится на Росса из-за этого, и он говорит, что им больше никогда не следует заниматься сексом, заявляя, что это «запрещено». Вернувшись в город, Рейчел снова благодарит Росса за то, что он поехал с ней, и комментирует их историю интимных отношений. Рейчел говорит, что для них с Россом это «никогда не исключено», чем сбивает его с толку, и он уходит. Тем временем, биологическая мать Моники и Чендлера, Эрика, приезжает в гости и сообщает, что отцом её ребёнка может быть убийца, так как он убил своего отца лопатой; отцом оказывается другой мужчина, с которым она спала.
Субтитры
- 00:00:03,629 --> 00:00:04,672 Hi!
- 00:00:04,839 --> 00:00:07,008 - Hey! - Hey! Welcome back!
- 00:00:07,174 --> 00:00:09,593 - How was the honeymoon? - Oh, incredible!
- 00:00:09,760 --> 00:00:14,140 Oh, champagne, candle-lit dinners, moonlight walks on the beach.
- 00:00:14,306 --> 00:00:16,434 - It was so romantic. RACHEL: Oh.
- 00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:18,269 - So where's Mike? - Oh, he's at the doctor.
- 00:00:18,436 --> 00:00:20,438 He didn't poop while we were there.
- 00:00:23,149 --> 00:00:26,110 - I'm glad you're back. I need your help. - Oh, why, what's up?
- 00:00:26,277 --> 00:00:29,530 I have an audition for this play, and I have to speak French...
- 00:00:29,697 --> 00:00:32,867 ...which, according to my résumé, I'm fluent in.
- 00:00:33,034 --> 00:00:37,246 - Joey, you shouldn't lie on your résumé. - Yeah, you really shouldn't.
- 00:00:37,413 --> 00:00:40,458 By the way, how was that yearlong dig in Cairo?
- 00:00:42,293 --> 00:00:43,878 It was okay.
- 00:00:45,171 --> 00:00:46,922 I did not know you spoke French.
- 00:00:47,089 --> 00:00:50,843 [SPEAKS IN FRENCH]
- 00:00:51,052 --> 00:00:53,262 Oh, oh, you're so sexy.
- 00:00:54,096 --> 00:00:56,766 - Well, so will you help me? PHOEBE: Sure.
- 00:00:56,974 --> 00:00:59,143 [SPEAKS IN FRENCH]
- 00:00:59,351 --> 00:01:02,146 Ha, ha, seriously, stop it. I'm gonna jump on you.
- 00:01:44,355 --> 00:01:45,481 - Hey. - Hi.
- 00:01:45,648 --> 00:01:47,650 Why are you wearing my apron?
- 00:01:48,651 --> 00:01:50,111 I'm making cookies for Erica.
- 00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:53,405 We have to leave soon. Her plane comes in in about an hour.
- 00:01:53,572 --> 00:01:56,951 When she gets here, is it okay if I introduce you two as my wife...
- 00:01:57,118 --> 00:01:59,703 ...and the woman who's carrying my child, ha, ha?
- 00:02:01,038 --> 00:02:02,373 No?
- 00:02:02,832 --> 00:02:04,166 Divorce?
- 00:02:06,127 --> 00:02:07,419 - Hey. MONICA <i>&</i> CHANDLER: Hey.
- 00:02:07,586 --> 00:02:10,464 - Uh, you know where Rachel is? - Haven't seen her since morning.
- 00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:14,218 It's unbelievable. She was supposed to meet me a half-hour ago with Emma.
- 00:02:14,385 --> 00:02:16,011 - Hey! - Hey!
- 00:02:16,178 --> 00:02:19,640 - These are for Erica! - She's gonna eat all those cookies?
- 00:02:19,807 --> 00:02:23,102 Well, I want the baby to come out all cute and fat!
- 00:02:24,937 --> 00:02:27,982 - So, uh, why is Erica coming to visit? - We wanna get to know her better.
- 00:02:28,149 --> 00:02:31,735 And, uh, she's never been to New York, so she wants to see the tourist spots:
- 00:02:31,902 --> 00:02:33,863 Statue of Liberty, Empire State Building.
- 00:02:34,029 --> 00:02:37,950 Oh, there's always so many people, and they're being corralled like cattle.
- 00:02:38,117 --> 00:02:42,413 And, you know, there's always some idiot who goes, "Moo."
- 00:02:42,913 --> 00:02:45,708 Well, if it annoys you so much, then why do you do it?
- 00:02:48,043 --> 00:02:49,128 ROSS: Oh, hi! Hi!
- 00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:52,047 - Thanks for showing up 30 minutes late. - Ross.
- 00:02:52,256 --> 00:02:55,176 No, I'm sure you have a great excuse. What was it, a hair appointment?
- 00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:58,846 Uh, a mani-pedi? Was there a sale at Barneys?
- 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:02,099 My father had a heart attack.
- 00:03:02,266 --> 00:03:04,602 While I was at Barneys.
- 00:03:07,229 --> 00:03:08,814 - Oh, my God, Rach. - Honey?
- 00:03:08,981 --> 00:03:11,483 - I'm so sorry. - Uh, is he okay?
- 00:03:11,650 --> 00:03:14,111 Yeah, he's gonna be fine, but he's heavily sedated.
- 00:03:14,278 --> 00:03:16,363 Okay, I'm gonna go to Long Island with you.
- 00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:21,076 - I mean, you can't be alone right now. - No, come on, I'm totally okay.
- 00:03:21,410 --> 00:03:23,829 I don't need you to come.
- 00:03:23,996 --> 00:03:29,835 - I can totally handle this on my own. - Still, still, let me come for me.
- 00:03:30,002 --> 00:03:33,255 Okay. If you really need to.
- 00:03:33,422 --> 00:03:36,425 I bet someone could use one of Monica's freshly baked cookies.
- 00:03:36,592 --> 00:03:37,635 - Oh, I really could. - Oh.
- 00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:38,844 Oh.
- 00:03:46,268 --> 00:03:47,937 All right, it seems pretty simple.
- 00:03:48,103 --> 00:03:50,189 Your first line is, "My name is Claude."
- 00:03:50,356 --> 00:03:52,608 - Okay. - So just repeat after me.
- 00:03:52,775 --> 00:03:54,193 [SPEAKS IN FRENCH]
- 00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:56,487 [SPEAKS GIBBERISH]
- 00:04:00,532 --> 00:04:03,244 - Well, let's try it again. - Okay.
- 00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:05,120 [SPEAKS IN FRENCH]
- 00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,790 [SPEAKS GIBBERISH]
- 00:04:09,959 --> 00:04:11,877 Huh. It's not...
- 00:04:12,044 --> 00:04:14,046 ...quite what I'm saying.
- 00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:18,092 Really? Sounds exactly the same to me.
- 00:04:18,259 --> 00:04:20,719 - It does, really? - Yeah.
- 00:04:20,886 --> 00:04:22,388 - Let's just try it again. - Okay.
- 00:04:22,554 --> 00:04:23,806 - Really listen. - Got it.
- 00:04:23,973 --> 00:04:25,015 Okay.
- 00:04:25,182 --> 00:04:27,518 [SPEAKS IN FRENCH]
- 00:04:27,977 --> 00:04:30,771 [SPEAKS GIBBERISH]
- 00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:33,065 [SPEAKS IN FRENCH]
- 00:04:33,274 --> 00:04:34,358 [SPEAKS GIBBERISH]
- 00:04:36,485 --> 00:04:37,861 Hey, you guys!
- 00:04:38,028 --> 00:04:39,196 PHOEBE: Hi. JOEY: Hey!
- 00:04:39,363 --> 00:04:41,865 I want you to meet someone really special.
- 00:04:42,032 --> 00:04:43,784 - Phoebe, this is Erica. - Hi.
- 00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:45,577 - And this is the baby! PHOEBE: Oh, hi.
- 00:04:45,744 --> 00:04:48,455 - Joey,EHca,baby. - Hi.
- 00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:51,125 Everyone, Erica! Baby!
- 00:04:51,709 --> 00:04:53,919 - Monica. Calm. Self. - Ha, ha.
- 00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:56,255 JOEY: Hey, sit down. - Thank you.
- 00:04:56,422 --> 00:04:59,300 It's really nice to meet you guys. I can't believe I'm here.
- 00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:01,760 Well, welcome to New York City, or should I say:
- 00:05:01,927 --> 00:05:02,970 [SPEAKS GIBBERISH]
- 00:05:03,137 --> 00:05:04,638 ...New York City.
- 00:05:06,181 --> 00:05:07,766 Why would you say that?
- 00:05:09,059 --> 00:05:11,228 Okay. What are you gonna be doing today?
- 00:05:11,395 --> 00:05:16,358 Well, I wanna see everything! Times Square, Coney Island, Rockefeller Center.
- 00:05:16,525 --> 00:05:19,611 You should walk to the top of the Statue of Liberty.
- 00:05:19,778 --> 00:05:22,656 - Oh, yeah, let's do that. - Great.
- 00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:24,700 This baby better be really good.
- 00:05:30,789 --> 00:05:34,084 Hi, um, uh, excuse me, I'm here to see my father. My name is Rachel Green.
- 00:05:34,251 --> 00:05:37,296 - And I'm Dr. Ross Geller. - Ross, please, this is a hospital.
- 00:05:37,463 --> 00:05:39,631 That actually means something here.
- 00:05:40,090 --> 00:05:41,925 - So can we please go in? - Absolutely.
- 00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:44,303 Rach, I think I'm gonna wait out here...
- 00:05:44,470 --> 00:05:48,432 ...because, uh, my throat is feeling a little scratchy. I don't wanna infect him.
- 00:05:48,599 --> 00:05:53,270 - Ross, please. Don't be so scared of him. - I am not scared of him. I'm really sick.
- 00:05:53,437 --> 00:05:56,607 - He's under sedation, so he's out. - I'm feeling better.
- 00:05:59,068 --> 00:06:00,110 [GASPS]
- 00:06:00,277 --> 00:06:02,196 Oh, my God.
- 00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:04,448 Oh, oh, wow.
- 00:06:04,615 --> 00:06:09,203 That ear and nose hair trimmer I got him was just money down the drain, huh?
- 00:06:10,162 --> 00:06:13,874 Ms. Green? Your father's doctor's on the phone if you'd like to speak to him.
- 00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:15,709 Oh, great. Um, are you gonna be okay?
- 00:06:15,876 --> 00:06:18,921 - He's unconscious. We'll be just fine. - Okay.
- 00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:47,950 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:06:55,249 --> 00:06:59,128 - Uh, did the TV wake you? - No.
- 00:06:59,294 --> 00:07:03,841 When you put your feet up on my bed, you tugged on my catheter.
- 00:07:06,510 --> 00:07:07,553 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:07:07,719 --> 00:07:09,263 Ouchy.
- 00:07:10,722 --> 00:07:12,683 What are you doing here, Geller?
- 00:07:12,850 --> 00:07:15,644 Well, I came with Rachel, who should be back any second.
- 00:07:16,645 --> 00:07:20,482 - So, what's new? - Oh, I had a little heart attack.
- 00:07:21,066 --> 00:07:22,734 Right. Is it painful?
- 00:07:22,901 --> 00:07:25,070 What, the heart attack or sitting here talking to you?
- 00:07:25,237 --> 00:07:27,072 [ROSS CHUCKLES]
- 00:07:27,239 --> 00:07:30,242 Let's see if we can get that Rachel back in here.
- 00:07:30,409 --> 00:07:34,413 So, what's new with you? Knocked up any more of my daughters lately?
- 00:07:34,580 --> 00:07:36,623 Nope. Just the one. Rachel!
- 00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:41,086 [SPEAKS IN FRENCH]
- 00:07:41,253 --> 00:07:43,046 [SPEAKS GIBBERISH]
- 00:07:43,255 --> 00:07:45,090 No!
- 00:07:45,257 --> 00:07:48,051 Okay, maybe if we just break it down.
- 00:07:48,218 --> 00:07:53,140 Okay, let's try it one syllable at a time. Okay, so repeat after me.
- 00:07:53,307 --> 00:07:55,476 [BOTH SPEAKING IN FRENCH]
- 00:07:57,311 --> 00:07:58,687 Great! Okay, faster.
- 00:07:58,854 --> 00:08:02,024 [BOTH SPEAKING IN FRENCH]
- 00:08:02,232 --> 00:08:03,567 [SPEAKS GIBBERISH]
- 00:08:06,862 --> 00:08:09,907 - Okay, it's too hard. I can't teach you. - What are you doing?
- 00:08:10,073 --> 00:08:12,826 I have to go before I put your head through a wall.
- 00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:16,663 No, no. Don't go, I need you! My audition is tomorrow!
- 00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:20,292 [SPEAKING GIBBERISH]
- 00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:34,223 - Hey. - Hi.
- 00:08:34,389 --> 00:08:35,807 I was gonna make us some dinner...
- 00:08:35,974 --> 00:08:39,645 ...but all I found in your dad's fridge was bacon and heavy cream.
- 00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:41,897 I think we solved the mystery of the heart attack.
- 00:08:42,064 --> 00:08:43,357 [RACHEL GRUNTS]
- 00:08:43,524 --> 00:08:46,026 - Did you call your parents? - Oh, yeah. Emma's doing great.
- 00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:47,569 Oh, good.
- 00:08:48,654 --> 00:08:50,239 Wow.
- 00:08:50,572 --> 00:08:52,032 What?
- 00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:54,743 I just can't believe I'm in Rachel Green's room.
- 00:08:55,744 --> 00:09:00,832 - You've been in my room before. - Hah, yeah, sure, right. Ha, ha.
- 00:09:00,999 --> 00:09:02,918 Like I'd ever be in Rachel Green's room.
- 00:09:03,085 --> 00:09:05,921 Okay, I gotta tell you, it's really weird when you use my whole name.
- 00:09:06,088 --> 00:09:08,632 - Oh, ha, ha. - Sorry.
- 00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:12,678 - You okay? - Yeah.
- 00:09:12,844 --> 00:09:14,513 - Yeah, you had a rough day, huh? - Yeah.
- 00:09:14,680 --> 00:09:19,059 It's just so weird seeing him like that, you know? I mean, he's a doctor.
- 00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:22,187 You don't expect doctors to get sick.
- 00:09:22,354 --> 00:09:24,314 But we do.
- 00:09:28,277 --> 00:09:30,320 Well, he's gonna be okay, Rach.
- 00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:34,783 Aw.
- 00:09:34,950 --> 00:09:37,869 I don't want him to wake up alone. I should go to the hospital.
- 00:09:38,036 --> 00:09:39,913 - What? No, no. Hey, hey, look. - What?
- 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:41,748 They gave him a lot of medication.
- 00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:43,834 He wouldn't even know if you were there.
- 00:09:44,001 --> 00:09:46,086 We'll go see him first thing in the morning.
- 00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:48,839 - Really? I shouldn't feel guilty? - No-- God, hey.
- 00:09:49,006 --> 00:09:51,091 Rach, you've been an amazing daughter, okay?
- 00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:55,345 - Right now you need to get some rest. - Okay, maybe you're right.
- 00:09:55,721 --> 00:09:57,264 Good night.
- 00:09:59,182 --> 00:10:01,143 Wait, wait, wait.
- 00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:04,771 Would you stay here with me for a little while?
- 00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:08,025 - Sure. - Okay.
- 00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:12,904 - Thank you for coming with me today. - Oh, of course.
- 00:10:13,071 --> 00:10:15,157 Rachel Green is very happy you're in her room.
- 00:10:15,324 --> 00:10:17,284 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:10:17,451 --> 00:10:19,995 - Me too. Come here. - No.
- 00:10:21,413 --> 00:10:24,416 I just don't wanna be alone tonight.
- 00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:29,755 Okay, well, um, I can maybe grab a sleeping bag or--
- 00:10:39,056 --> 00:10:41,016 [CHUCKLING]
- 00:10:45,270 --> 00:10:46,938 No, Rach!
- 00:10:47,689 --> 00:10:51,526 I'm sorry, I just don't think this is a good idea.
- 00:10:51,693 --> 00:10:53,695 Well, we won't know that until we do it, will we?
- 00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:56,490 No, um, uh, look, um.
- 00:10:56,990 --> 00:11:01,119 You are upset about your father, and you're feeling vulnerable...
- 00:11:01,286 --> 00:11:03,413 ...and I just don't feel it would be right.
- 00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:06,583 I feel like I'd be, you know, taking advantage of you.
- 00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:10,962 What--? Taking advantage? I am giving you the advantage. Enjoy!
- 00:11:12,255 --> 00:11:14,424 Look, I'm sure it would be great...
- 00:11:14,591 --> 00:11:17,886 ...but I think one of us has to be thinking clearly.
- 00:11:18,053 --> 00:11:20,472 So I'm gonna go.
- 00:11:23,684 --> 00:11:25,394 Wow.
- 00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:27,270 Okay.
- 00:11:30,899 --> 00:11:32,776 - I'll see you in the morning. - Mm-hm.
- 00:11:35,696 --> 00:11:39,658 I haven't had sex in four months. I should get a medal for that!
- 00:11:45,831 --> 00:11:48,875 Thanks so much for taking me to all those places. I had a great time.
- 00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:52,170 Oh, I'm glad. Listen, I wanna apologize about Chandler, though.
- 00:11:52,337 --> 00:11:57,008 - I just did not see this coming. - New York is awesome!
- 00:11:58,844 --> 00:12:01,888 - What is with you? - I've been to these places before...
- 00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:03,807 ...but I've never really seen them.
- 00:12:03,974 --> 00:12:06,017 Yeah, you miss a lot when you're mooing.
- 00:12:07,728 --> 00:12:10,939 - Thanks so much for showing me around. - Oh, it was our pleasure.
- 00:12:11,106 --> 00:12:13,316 We're so much enjoying getting to know you.
- 00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:15,944 Well, if there's anything else you wanna know...
- 00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:19,197 Oh, uh...
- 00:12:19,364 --> 00:12:20,907 Okay, um.
- 00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:24,161 Can we ask you some questions about the father?
- 00:12:24,327 --> 00:12:26,079 Oh, sure. Yeah.
- 00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:31,001 Well, he was my high-school boyfriend, captain of the football team, really cute.
- 00:12:31,877 --> 00:12:35,088 - Got a scholarship and went to college. - That's great.
- 00:12:36,631 --> 00:12:39,718 Yeah, it's almost definitely him.
- 00:12:41,595 --> 00:12:42,846 How's that, now?
- 00:12:43,388 --> 00:12:46,224 Well, there's a chance it's another guy.
- 00:12:46,391 --> 00:12:49,978 I mean, I've only ever been with two guys...
- 00:12:50,145 --> 00:12:52,397 ...but they sort of overlapped.
- 00:12:53,148 --> 00:12:54,649 So, what does the other guy do?
- 00:12:54,816 --> 00:12:58,278 - Does he go to college too? - No, he's in prison.
- 00:12:59,571 --> 00:13:00,614 Oh.
- 00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:04,034 Well, um, was he falsely accused of something?
- 00:13:04,951 --> 00:13:06,328 No.
- 00:13:06,495 --> 00:13:08,789 He killed his father with a shovel.
- 00:13:10,957 --> 00:13:12,667 Other than that, he's a great guy.
- 00:13:13,001 --> 00:13:15,754 I'll bet his dad doesn't think so.
- 00:13:24,596 --> 00:13:26,807 - Are you awake? - Of course I'm awake.
- 00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:29,684 Assume from now on that I'm always awake.
- 00:13:31,394 --> 00:13:35,482 All right, we don't know that it's him. I mean, it could be the football guy.
- 00:13:35,649 --> 00:13:38,819 Honey, it's us. Of course it's the shovel killer.
- 00:13:42,906 --> 00:13:44,950 Well, all right, let's say that it is him.
- 00:13:45,116 --> 00:13:46,785 Would we not want the baby? No.
- 00:13:46,952 --> 00:13:50,372 - Would we treat him any differently? - I'd keep an eye on him.
- 00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:55,043 We have to find out which the father is.
- 00:13:55,210 --> 00:13:57,003 - How? - I don't know.
- 00:13:57,170 --> 00:14:01,299 - They have tests for these things, right? - Yeah, but maybe we're overreacting.
- 00:14:01,466 --> 00:14:04,803 Easy for you to say. He's a father killer.
- 00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:07,264 He probably loves his mommy.
- 00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:10,976 He's probably got a tattoo that says "Mom" on his shovel-wielding arm.
- 00:14:16,231 --> 00:14:18,984 <i>MAN [ON RECORDING]: We'll now count from one to five.</i>
- 00:14:19,150 --> 00:14:23,905 [MAN COUNTING IN FRENCH ON RECORDING]
- 00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:28,285 [SPEAKS GIBBERISH]
- 00:14:29,744 --> 00:14:32,247 MAN [ON RECORDING]: Good job. - Thank you.
- 00:14:33,874 --> 00:14:35,500 - Hey. - Hey, JOEY-
- 00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:39,212 Listen, I feel really badly about yesterday, and I thought about it a lot.
- 00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:42,966 No, I was too impatient. So let's try it again.
- 00:14:43,133 --> 00:14:44,885 That's okay. I don't need your help.
- 00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:48,013 I worked on it myself, and I gotta say, I am pretty good.
- 00:14:49,014 --> 00:14:52,642 - Really, can I hear some of it? - Sure, sure.
- 00:14:53,643 --> 00:14:56,187 Okay. Ahem.
- 00:14:57,689 --> 00:15:00,692 [SPEAKS GIBBERISH]
- 00:15:02,944 --> 00:15:04,529 See?
- 00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:07,324 Right, but you're not--
- 00:15:07,866 --> 00:15:09,326 You're not-- You're--
- 00:15:09,492 --> 00:15:12,579 Again, you're not speaking French!
- 00:15:14,539 --> 00:15:18,293 Oh, well, I think I am! Yeah, and I think I'm definitely gonna get the part!
- 00:15:18,460 --> 00:15:20,545 How could you possibly think that?
- 00:15:20,712 --> 00:15:23,423 The guy on the tape said I was doing a good job!
- 00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:30,347 Hey, Rach, can you grab me a cup of coffee?
- 00:15:32,557 --> 00:15:34,017 Sure.
- 00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:37,812 You've been quiet all morning. ls everything okay?
- 00:15:37,979 --> 00:15:40,023 Mm-hm.
- 00:15:41,483 --> 00:15:43,693 - You sure you're all right? - Yep.
- 00:15:44,819 --> 00:15:46,154 Okay. Um.
- 00:15:46,321 --> 00:15:48,782 Well, I'm gonna go, uh, grab us some breakfast.
- 00:15:48,949 --> 00:15:51,785 - FYI. - There it is.
- 00:15:53,078 --> 00:15:59,876 In the future, when a girl asks for some ill-advised sympathy sex, just do it.
- 00:16:00,919 --> 00:16:05,090 Wait, wait, you're, uh, mad at me about last night?
- 00:16:05,256 --> 00:16:08,009 - I was just trying to do the right thing. - Really?
- 00:16:08,176 --> 00:16:09,844 If you had done the right thing...
- 00:16:10,011 --> 00:16:12,931 ...I wouldn't have woken up feeling stupid and embarrassed.
- 00:16:13,098 --> 00:16:16,518 I would've woken up feeling comforted and satisfied.
- 00:16:18,561 --> 00:16:20,939 - Well-- - Oh, stop that!
- 00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:24,776 I can't believe this! I was just being a good guy.
- 00:16:24,943 --> 00:16:27,529 I treated you with respect and understanding.
- 00:16:27,696 --> 00:16:29,197 Oh, that is so hot.
- 00:16:30,365 --> 00:16:32,158 Hey, I was looking out for you.
- 00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:34,661 Oh, really? Well, you know what? lam a big girl.
- 00:16:34,828 --> 00:16:37,497 I don't need someone telling me what is best for me.
- 00:16:37,664 --> 00:16:38,707 [SCOFFS]
- 00:16:38,873 --> 00:16:42,335 I gotta say, I've not had sex a lot of times before. This is the worst ever!
- 00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:46,881 Oh, oh, really? Really? Well, it wasn't very good for me either.
- 00:16:47,048 --> 00:16:49,217 Oh, okay, you know--? Hey, hey, you know what?
- 00:16:49,384 --> 00:16:51,469 To avoid this little thing in the future...
- 00:16:51,636 --> 00:16:54,264 ...let's just say, you and me? Never having sex again.
- 00:16:54,431 --> 00:16:57,017 - What? - That's right! Sex is off the table!
- 00:16:57,183 --> 00:17:00,854 I am never having sex with you again!
- 00:17:07,068 --> 00:17:09,571 Dr. Green, are you feeling better?
- 00:17:12,282 --> 00:17:15,410 - Hey! How was lunch? ERICA: We had a good time.
- 00:17:15,577 --> 00:17:18,455 By the way, I wanted to ask you something.
- 00:17:18,621 --> 00:17:21,875 It would really mean a lot to me if the baby was a boy...
- 00:17:22,042 --> 00:17:24,127 ...that you name him after my father...
- 00:17:24,294 --> 00:17:26,421 ...Jiminy Billy Bob.
- 00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:34,012 - Oh, really? - No! Ha, ha.
- 00:17:34,179 --> 00:17:36,598 - You were right. That was fun. - Ha-ha-ha.
- 00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:40,435 I'm gonna go finish packing.
- 00:17:40,602 --> 00:17:42,062 - Okay. - Ha, ha.
- 00:17:44,647 --> 00:17:47,650 - So is she gonna take the test? - No, she doesn't have to.
- 00:17:47,817 --> 00:17:50,153 - I found out who the father is. - Oh, God.
- 00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:53,281 - It's Shovely Joe, isn't it'? - No, it's not.
- 00:17:53,448 --> 00:17:54,532 How do you know?
- 00:17:54,699 --> 00:17:57,285 Erica didn't pay attention in sex ed. class...
- 00:17:57,452 --> 00:17:59,913 ...because the things she did with that prison guy?
- 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:02,165 It'd be pretty hard to make a baby that way.
- 00:18:02,332 --> 00:18:06,669 Oh, God, what was it? The thing we hardly ever do, or the thing we never do?
- 00:18:09,005 --> 00:18:10,673 The thing we never do.
- 00:18:11,841 --> 00:18:13,968 Shovely Joe.
- 00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:26,231 - Whenever you're ready, Joey. JOEY: Right. Ahem.
- 00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:28,983 [SPEAKING GIBBERISH]
- 00:18:34,864 --> 00:18:39,536 - I'm sorry, what's going on? - Dude, come on, French it up.
- 00:18:40,537 --> 00:18:42,580 Joey, do you speak French?
- 00:18:42,747 --> 00:18:44,791 [SPEAKING GIBBERISH]
- 00:18:49,838 --> 00:18:52,006 You know what? I think this audition is over.
- 00:18:53,049 --> 00:18:55,635 PHOEBE [IN FRENCH ACCENT]: Uh, excuse me?
- 00:18:55,802 --> 00:18:58,805 Uh, I am Régine Phalange.
- 00:19:00,181 --> 00:19:03,935 Uh, I was passing by when I heard this man speaking...
- 00:19:04,102 --> 00:19:10,191 ...the regional dialect of my French town of Estée Lauder.
- 00:19:12,152 --> 00:19:13,987 You really think this man is speaking French?
- 00:19:14,154 --> 00:19:16,573 [SPEAKS GIBBERISH]
- 00:19:17,699 --> 00:19:19,784 [IN FRENCH]
- 00:19:43,892 --> 00:19:46,561 Good job, little buddy.
- 00:19:49,647 --> 00:19:51,274 That was some really good French.
- 00:19:51,441 --> 00:19:54,277 But I think we're gonna go with someone else for the part.
- 00:19:54,444 --> 00:19:57,947 - Oh, all right, but my French was good? - It was great.
- 00:19:58,114 --> 00:19:59,532 Oh, ha, ha, see?
- 00:19:59,741 --> 00:20:01,534 [SPEAKS IN FRENCH]
- 00:20:01,743 --> 00:20:03,578 [SPEAKS GIBBERISH]
- 00:20:09,792 --> 00:20:12,629 - Emma's down for the night. - Oh, good.
- 00:20:12,795 --> 00:20:16,674 - So, uh, I guess I'm gonna take oh'. - Okay.
- 00:20:16,841 --> 00:20:19,594 Hey, listen, uh, just before you go--
- 00:20:19,761 --> 00:20:22,013 I just wanna say thank you for coming with me.
- 00:20:22,180 --> 00:20:23,598 Oh, no problem.
- 00:20:24,807 --> 00:20:26,768 And also, you know, I, uh--
- 00:20:26,935 --> 00:20:31,689 I was thinking about what you said, uh, you know, about the whole sex thing...
- 00:20:31,856 --> 00:20:35,360 Probably not a great idea to go down that road again.
- 00:20:35,777 --> 00:20:38,905 Thank you. I'm glad you agree.
- 00:20:39,072 --> 00:20:41,407 It's a shame, though. When we did it, it was pretty good.
- 00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:43,076 [LAUGHS]
- 00:20:43,618 --> 00:20:44,953 Yeah.
- 00:20:45,119 --> 00:20:47,455 Yeah, that's true.
- 00:20:47,914 --> 00:20:50,792 Hey, um, do you remember that one really great time?
- 00:20:50,959 --> 00:20:52,752 - Oh, yeah! - You know?
- 00:20:52,919 --> 00:20:56,172 - It was Valentine's Day. - It was your birthday.
- 00:20:57,173 --> 00:20:59,550 [IN UNISON] Oh, yeah.
- 00:21:03,054 --> 00:21:06,891 Well, I guess that's all in the past now.
- 00:21:08,142 --> 00:21:09,686 Mm-hm.
- 00:21:12,272 --> 00:21:15,108 - Not even one more time. - Not even once.
- 00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:18,945 - No matter how much we want it. - Even if we want it...
- 00:21:19,112 --> 00:21:20,989 -...really bad. - That's what we decided.
- 00:21:21,155 --> 00:21:24,075 Yeah, ha, ha, that's right.
- 00:21:26,953 --> 00:21:29,580 - It's kind of hard, though. You know? - Yeah.
- 00:21:29,747 --> 00:21:34,085 When two people have a connection, you know, that's--
- 00:21:34,544 --> 00:21:36,754 Just seems like...
- 00:21:36,921 --> 00:21:38,423 ...such a...
- 00:21:38,589 --> 00:21:40,550 ...waste.
- 00:21:43,928 --> 00:21:45,221 I hate waste.
- 00:21:50,768 --> 00:21:53,187 - Ross? - Yes?
- 00:21:53,521 --> 00:21:55,189 Just so you know...
- 00:21:56,190 --> 00:21:58,026 ...with us...
- 00:21:58,401 --> 00:22:00,737 ...it's never off the table.
- 00:22:11,414 --> 00:22:14,667 Damn it, it's never off the table.
- 00:22:23,676 --> 00:22:26,846 - Okay, can you really tap-dance? - No.
- 00:22:27,013 --> 00:22:29,057 It's off the résumé.
- 00:22:29,932 --> 00:22:32,268 - Archery? - No.
- 00:22:32,435 --> 00:22:35,730 - Horseback riding? - Would fall off a lot.
- 00:22:37,398 --> 00:22:39,734 You can drink a gallon of milk in 10 seconds?
- 00:22:39,901 --> 00:22:41,527 That I can do.
- 00:22:41,861 --> 00:22:45,531 Come on, you can drink a gallon of milk in 10 seconds?
- 00:22:45,698 --> 00:22:47,617 All right, watch me.
- 00:22:49,660 --> 00:22:54,207 - Okay, you time me, ready? - Ready, go!
- 00:23:24,529 --> 00:23:25,571 You did it!
- 00:23:33,037 --> 00:23:35,039 [English - US - SDH]
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