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Эпизод с лотереей
The One with the Lottery
Сезон: 09Серия: 18
Описание
Компания покупает лотерейные билеты и спорит, как их разделить. Чендлер ждёт предложения о работе в рекламном агентстве, а Рэйчел и Росс предвкушают первое слово Эммы, которым оказывается «Глеба». Специальный гость: Филл Льюис в роли Стива.
Субтитры
- 00:00:07,383 --> 00:00:10,344 Monica? Hey, can I borrow the Porsche?
- 00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:12,263 - Okay. - All right!
- 00:00:12,430 --> 00:00:14,849 But, uh, ahem, what is it not?
- 00:00:15,433 --> 00:00:18,436 A place to entertain my lady friends.
- 00:00:19,020 --> 00:00:23,524 - And what else is it not? - A place to eat spaghetti.
- 00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:25,234 - Very good. JOEY: Thanks.
- 00:00:25,401 --> 00:00:28,988 - What do you need it for anyway? - The, uh, lottery is up to 300 million...
- 00:00:29,196 --> 00:00:33,659 -...and they don't sell tickets here. - So you're driving up to Connecticut?
- 00:00:33,826 --> 00:00:37,038 Yeah, Connecticut. Not West Virginia.
- 00:00:38,622 --> 00:00:41,876 Maybe I'll drive you up there. I'd like to buy some tickets myself.
- 00:00:42,251 --> 00:00:46,464 Yeah, with Chandler not getting paid, we could really use $300 million.
- 00:00:46,630 --> 00:00:51,552 Yes, because if I was at my old job, we'd say, "300 million? No, thank you."
- 00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:55,473 - Will you get me tickets too? - Yeah, me too.
- 00:00:55,639 --> 00:00:57,349 JOEY: Sure. - Ooh! I have an idea.
- 00:00:57,516 --> 00:01:00,770 Why don't we all pitch in 50 bucks, we'll pool our money together...
- 00:01:00,936 --> 00:01:04,648 ...and then if we win, we'll split it. ALL: That's a great idea!
- 00:01:05,191 --> 00:01:07,526 No, thanks.
- 00:01:08,194 --> 00:01:10,529 - You don't want to win the lottery? - Uh, sure I do.
- 00:01:10,696 --> 00:01:12,698 I also want to be king of my own country...
- 00:01:12,865 --> 00:01:15,659 ...and find out what happened to Amelia Earhart.
- 00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:19,413 - Still on Amelia Earhart? - The woman just vanished!
- 00:01:21,123 --> 00:01:22,917 Seriously, you don't want in on this?
- 00:01:23,125 --> 00:01:26,045 No. Do you know what your odds are of winning the lottery?
- 00:01:26,212 --> 00:01:29,840 I mean, you have a better chance of being struck by lightning 42 times.
- 00:01:30,049 --> 00:01:33,219 But there's six of us, so we'd only have to get struck 7 times.
- 00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:35,596 I like those odds!
- 00:01:36,388 --> 00:01:40,309 Seriously, you guys, I can't believe you're gonna spend $250 on the lottery.
- 00:01:40,476 --> 00:01:43,729 I mean, that's such a bunch of boo-hockey.
- 00:01:47,066 --> 00:01:48,984 I'll ask.
- 00:01:49,735 --> 00:01:51,237 "Boo-hockey"?
- 00:01:52,196 --> 00:01:54,365 Oh, we think Emma's about to start talking...
- 00:01:54,532 --> 00:01:58,160 ...so we're trying to be careful about what words we use in front of her.
- 00:01:58,369 --> 00:02:00,538 So get ready to hear a lot of, uh, boo-hockey...
- 00:02:00,704 --> 00:02:03,290 ...gosh darn it and brother pucker.
- 00:02:04,959 --> 00:02:06,919 How do you know she's gonna start talking?
- 00:02:07,128 --> 00:02:10,381 When I talk to her, I almost feel like she understands what I'm saying.
- 00:02:10,548 --> 00:02:13,008 Kind of like Joey.
- 00:02:14,176 --> 00:02:16,220 What's that now?
- 00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:13,068 God, look at all these tickets. It's so exciting.
- 00:03:13,277 --> 00:03:15,237 I haven't won anything since sixth grade.
- 00:03:15,446 --> 00:03:17,740 Pie-eating contest?
- 00:03:19,575 --> 00:03:23,078 You assume because I was heavy that's the only way I could win something?
- 00:03:23,287 --> 00:03:26,290 No, I saw a picture of you covered in blueberries.
- 00:03:26,498 --> 00:03:29,335 - That was a good day. CHANDLER: Yeah.
- 00:03:29,919 --> 00:03:33,881 - They're towing your car! - I'm parked in a garage on Morton.
- 00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:37,301 They're towing a car.
- 00:03:37,468 --> 00:03:41,180 And I am seeing spots.
- 00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:44,058 Ross, you don't have Emma! Rachel, you don't have Emma!
- 00:03:44,225 --> 00:03:46,644 - Where's Emma? Who has Emma? - Joey, relax.
- 00:03:46,810 --> 00:03:51,106 My mother picked her up two hours ago. You were there.
- 00:03:52,107 --> 00:03:54,902 - I was? - Yes, and you talked to her.
- 00:03:55,319 --> 00:03:58,405 - I did? - She dropped off a casserole.
- 00:03:58,614 --> 00:04:01,575 Oh, yeah, the casserole lady.
- 00:04:01,867 --> 00:04:04,161 Did you come by to watch us win the big bucks?
- 00:04:04,370 --> 00:04:07,915 Yeah. And then I figured after you win, we can all go out to the balcony...
- 00:04:08,082 --> 00:04:11,627 ...and see a night rainbow with gremlins dancing on top of it.
- 00:04:11,877 --> 00:04:13,462 [PHONE RINGING]
- 00:04:13,629 --> 00:04:16,006 Don't touch the phone! I'll get it! I'll get it!
- 00:04:16,465 --> 00:04:19,093 - You think he washed his hands? CHANDLER: Hello?
- 00:04:19,301 --> 00:04:21,637 - Hey, Charlie, what do you know? - What's going on?
- 00:04:21,845 --> 00:04:25,057 Chandler's supposed to find out if he's getting a job at his agency.
- 00:04:25,224 --> 00:04:27,643 But out of 15 interns, they're only hiring three.
- 00:04:27,851 --> 00:04:29,645 - Ooh. Tough odds. - Yeah.
- 00:04:29,853 --> 00:04:33,607 If only it were a sure thing like your 24-state lottery.
- 00:04:34,650 --> 00:04:38,445 Yeah, look who's coming around!
- 00:04:38,654 --> 00:04:42,366 Damn it. All right, call me when you know more.
- 00:04:43,701 --> 00:04:46,578 - Did you get it? - One of the slots got filled.
- 00:04:47,079 --> 00:04:51,500 - By you? - Sense the tone.
- 00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:56,338 - No, that kid Nate got it. - Oh, I hate that guy.
- 00:04:56,505 --> 00:04:59,758 - I mean, come on, pull up your pants! CHANDLER: I know.
- 00:04:59,925 --> 00:05:01,802 Well, there's two spots left, right?
- 00:05:02,011 --> 00:05:04,638 Yeah. I mean, I want this so much. I want to get one.
- 00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:07,016 I want my friend Charlie to get one.
- 00:05:07,182 --> 00:05:09,268 Except I don't care about Charlie.
- 00:05:11,145 --> 00:05:12,229 ALL: Hey!
- 00:05:12,396 --> 00:05:15,149 You are not gonna believe this. I just saw my psychic...
- 00:05:15,316 --> 00:05:19,194 ...and she said I was definitely gonna win the lottery tonight!
- 00:05:20,571 --> 00:05:22,656 I thought we could use some extra luck...
- 00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:24,867 ...so I brought a wishbone home from work.
- 00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:31,540 A psychic and a wishbone? Guys, give someone else a chance.
- 00:05:32,041 --> 00:05:34,084 - All right, who wants to do it? - Ooh, can I?
- 00:05:34,293 --> 00:05:37,254 Vegetarians never get to do the wishbone.
- 00:05:37,421 --> 00:05:40,257 It's really not fair. Just because we don't eat the meat...
- 00:05:40,424 --> 00:05:43,510 ...doesn't mean we don't like to play with the carcasses.
- 00:05:44,136 --> 00:05:45,846 All right. Rash'?
- 00:05:46,055 --> 00:05:48,432 I don't want that turkey smell all over my hands.
- 00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:52,186 I'll do it! It'll get the casserole stink off of mine.
- 00:05:54,646 --> 00:05:57,274 - I hope I win. - Well, it doesn't really matter.
- 00:05:57,441 --> 00:05:59,401 You're both wishing for the same thing.
- 00:05:59,610 --> 00:06:04,365 I can't tell you what I'm wishing for, or else, you know, it won't come true. Ha, ha.
- 00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:07,618 Right. But we know what you're wishing for.
- 00:06:07,826 --> 00:06:10,788 - I can't really say. - I understand.
- 00:06:10,954 --> 00:06:13,499 But you're wishing for what we think, aren't you?
- 00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:16,460 I'm not really comfortable with these questions!
- 00:06:16,627 --> 00:06:18,712 - Please! - Just do it!
- 00:06:18,921 --> 00:06:20,881 Okay. One, two, three.
- 00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:22,966 I won! Hey!
- 00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:26,261 You know what? I'm sure your wish is gonna come true.
- 00:06:26,428 --> 00:06:29,973 But, you guys, just in case, maybe a genie will come out if we rub this lamp.
- 00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:31,683 Qw!
- 00:06:32,601 --> 00:06:34,645 That thing gets hot!
- 00:06:34,812 --> 00:06:36,480 Ross, just keep making yourjokes.
- 00:06:36,647 --> 00:06:38,857 How are you gonna feel if we actually do win?
- 00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:42,236 - Uh, you're not gonna win. - I know the odds are against us...
- 00:06:42,403 --> 00:06:46,573 ...but somebody has to win, and it could be us. And then how you gonna feel?
- 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:50,494 We're gonna be like, "Everybody, let's take our helicopters up to the Cape."
- 00:06:50,661 --> 00:06:53,038 And you're gonna be all, like, "Oh, I can't, guys.
- 00:06:53,205 --> 00:06:56,417 I'll have to meet you up there. I gotta gas up the Hyundai."
- 00:07:00,546 --> 00:07:04,591 Okay, I've heard myself on tape, and I sound nothing like that.
- 00:07:05,384 --> 00:07:07,970 I can see the headline now: "Lottery Winners' Friend...
- 00:07:08,137 --> 00:07:10,556 ...Filled With Regret, Eats Own Arm."
- 00:07:11,265 --> 00:07:12,724 Why would I eat my own arm?
- 00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:16,520 Well, you wouldn't, but we own the paper. We can print whatever we want.
- 00:07:16,687 --> 00:07:19,314 You know what? I'm gonna throw in 50 bucks for you.
- 00:07:19,982 --> 00:07:21,900 - Why? - Because I know that you think...
- 00:07:22,067 --> 00:07:25,154 ...that the lottery is boo-hockey...
- 00:07:25,529 --> 00:07:29,074 ...but we're all here, and we're gonna watch the numbers and have fun.
- 00:07:29,241 --> 00:07:33,245 And you're my brother, and I want you to be a part of this.
- 00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:37,666 You don't have to do that. I mean, I'll pay for myself.
- 00:07:37,833 --> 00:07:41,712 But just the fact that you want me to have fun with you guys, that's so sweet.
- 00:07:41,879 --> 00:07:43,505 Come here.
- 00:07:44,548 --> 00:07:47,009 Get a room.
- 00:07:50,345 --> 00:07:53,015 So now that you're in, what are you gonna do if we win?
- 00:07:53,223 --> 00:07:57,853 - I don't know. I'll probably just invest it. - Ooh. Calm down.
- 00:07:58,020 --> 00:08:00,814 Seriously, that's your fantasy? To invest it?
- 00:08:01,023 --> 00:08:05,736 Oh, I'm sorry. Did I say, "invest it"? I meant, "Be cool and piss it all away."
- 00:08:06,862 --> 00:08:11,658 Oh! Oh! I know! We should pool all our money and buy the Knicks!
- 00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:13,869 I don't really care about the Knicks.
- 00:08:14,077 --> 00:08:16,997 You will when I pick you as starting forward.
- 00:08:17,414 --> 00:08:21,418 You would do that? I never get picked!
- 00:08:21,793 --> 00:08:23,795 I'm not sure a sports team is the way to go.
- 00:08:23,962 --> 00:08:27,466 You won't let me buy the Knicks? I can't believe you're taking this away.
- 00:08:27,633 --> 00:08:30,802 You're right, it has been your dream for over 15 seconds.
- 00:08:32,513 --> 00:08:35,974 Uh, how long until they announce the numbers, Mommy?
- 00:08:36,475 --> 00:08:40,729 I'll take this one too. Uh, "Mommy"?
- 00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:43,941 Oh, I've gotten into the habit of calling Rachel "Mommy"...
- 00:08:44,107 --> 00:08:45,984 ...when we're around Emma.
- 00:08:46,151 --> 00:08:50,030 Which I now realize we are not.
- 00:08:51,156 --> 00:08:53,075 I'm hoping that if she hears it enough...
- 00:08:53,242 --> 00:08:54,576 -...it'll be her first word. - Oh.
- 00:08:54,785 --> 00:08:57,829 Although if we're gonna do that, we should probably call me "Daddy" too.
- 00:08:57,996 --> 00:09:01,959 Mm. I like that, Daddy.
- 00:09:05,671 --> 00:09:08,549 I, uh-- I was just talking about Rachel.
- 00:09:08,757 --> 00:09:10,842 Ooh, is Daddy getting angry?
- 00:09:13,512 --> 00:09:16,181 Is Daddy gonna spank me?
- 00:09:18,100 --> 00:09:20,352 Well, that depends.
- 00:09:20,519 --> 00:09:23,272 Have you been a bad--? No, I can't.
- 00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:26,567 [PHONE RINGS]
- 00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:30,946 Hello? Hello? Hey, Charlie. Did anybody else hear?
- 00:09:31,947 --> 00:09:34,491 What? Susan got it? How?
- 00:09:34,658 --> 00:09:37,786 Oh, man, I would've slept with him!
- 00:09:38,537 --> 00:09:40,581 All right, bye.
- 00:09:41,164 --> 00:09:43,792 Dude, I'm sorry. But hey, there's one spot left, right?
- 00:09:43,959 --> 00:09:46,670 - Well, Charlie's gonna get that. - Hey, don't say that.
- 00:09:46,837 --> 00:09:49,506 You've got just as good a chance of getting that job.
- 00:09:49,715 --> 00:09:51,383 He is the boss' son.
- 00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:54,469 - Come on, lottery! - Yeah!
- 00:09:54,636 --> 00:09:57,347 - It starts in, like, 20 minutes. - Okay, here we go.
- 00:09:57,514 --> 00:10:00,892 We need to sort through the tickets quickly to see if we've won.
- 00:10:01,059 --> 00:10:03,770 So does anybody have any ideas how to organize this?
- 00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:06,106 Okay, how about this:
- 00:10:06,898 --> 00:10:08,942 We divide them into six groups of 40.
- 00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:12,154 The remaining 10 can be read by whoever finishes first.
- 00:10:12,362 --> 00:10:15,115 - I have another idea. - I'm sorry, idea time is over.
- 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:19,661 - Well, are all the tickets in the bowl? - Yeah.
- 00:10:19,870 --> 00:10:23,332 - What about the ones on the nightstand? - There are no tickets there.
- 00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:25,834 Yes, there are. I just saw them a few minutes ago.
- 00:10:26,001 --> 00:10:30,380 Heh. Uh, no, you didn't. You must be mistaken.
- 00:10:30,547 --> 00:10:33,842 - There are 20 tickets on the nightstand. - Chandler, sense the tone.
- 00:10:35,510 --> 00:10:39,723 Well, well, well. Look what Mommy found.
- 00:10:40,682 --> 00:10:44,102 Okay, fine. I bought 20 extra tickets for me and Chandler.
- 00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:45,312 [GASPS]
- 00:10:45,479 --> 00:10:47,981 The psychic also said that I would be betrayed.
- 00:10:49,691 --> 00:10:52,569 I can't believe this. I thought we were all in this together.
- 00:10:52,778 --> 00:10:56,114 - Hey, you just got in five minutes ago! - Three minutes ago!
- 00:10:56,281 --> 00:10:58,825 I don't know why that's important.
- 00:10:59,034 --> 00:11:03,163 I was with you the whole time. When did you even get those?
- 00:11:03,372 --> 00:11:07,876 When you were reading the dirty magazines without taking off the plastic.
- 00:11:08,210 --> 00:11:09,961 I'll show you how.
- 00:11:10,921 --> 00:11:14,216 Okay. Well, Monica, suppose one of your special tickets wins?
- 00:11:14,383 --> 00:11:17,219 How are you gonna feel when you win and lose your friends?
- 00:11:17,427 --> 00:11:21,223 Please. If I win the lottery, you guys are not gonna leave me.
- 00:11:21,390 --> 00:11:25,560 Someone gave me muffins last week. I couldn't get rid of you for three days!
- 00:11:26,645 --> 00:11:29,856 Chandler, would you just tell her what she did was wrong?
- 00:11:30,065 --> 00:11:32,943 She's right. You shouldn't have bought tickets just for us.
- 00:11:33,151 --> 00:11:34,778 Let me finish.
- 00:11:34,945 --> 00:11:37,572 However, it doesn't look like I'm gonna get this job...
- 00:11:37,739 --> 00:11:42,077 ...so I can't afford to have principles. So screw you! The tickets are ours!
- 00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:45,622 There's the man I married.
- 00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:48,166 All right. Believe me, if you win the lottery...
- 00:11:48,333 --> 00:11:50,335 ...it's the last you're gonna hear from us.
- 00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:55,257 Fine. Don't be my friends. I'll buy new friends.
- 00:11:55,507 --> 00:12:00,429 Yeah, and then I'll pay for their plastic surgery so they look just like you!
- 00:12:00,595 --> 00:12:03,223 You know what? I want my share of the tickets.
- 00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:05,892 I want my tickets too! And I'm buying the Knicks!
- 00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:08,520 And Steffi Graf! Ha, ha.
- 00:12:08,687 --> 00:12:11,064 Cool. Then I want mine too! And if I win...
- 00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:14,401 ...I'm gonna put it all into a very low-yield bond!
- 00:12:14,609 --> 00:12:18,947 No. You guys, we gotta keep all the tickets together.
- 00:12:19,114 --> 00:12:21,158 No. No, we should divide them up...
- 00:12:21,324 --> 00:12:23,744 ...and I should get extra because we used my car!
- 00:12:23,952 --> 00:12:26,663 Hey! Hey! If anybody gets extra tickets, it should be me!
- 00:12:26,830 --> 00:12:31,460 - This whole thing was my idea! - Yeah. Thanks for inventing the lottery!
- 00:12:32,544 --> 00:12:35,046 Just give them to me, and I'll split them up!
- 00:12:35,213 --> 00:12:37,215 _QW! - Ah!
- 00:12:37,382 --> 00:12:39,426 ROSSI Hey, hey! - Aah!
- 00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:43,138 God, I can't take it anymore! I'm putting an end to this!
- 00:12:43,346 --> 00:12:46,683 - Okay, if she jumps, I get her tickets! - Wait, no, no! Hey!
- 00:12:48,477 --> 00:12:51,480 If we're not doing this together, we're not doing it at all.
- 00:12:51,646 --> 00:12:53,982 - Say goodbye to your tickets. ALL: No! No! No!
- 00:12:54,191 --> 00:12:56,777 Do not come any closer!
- 00:12:56,943 --> 00:13:00,655 Can I come a little bit closer? Valuable things are getting squished.
- 00:13:00,864 --> 00:13:03,533 Now, what's more important, your friends or money?
- 00:13:03,742 --> 00:13:06,119 - Fflends! MONICA: Money!
- 00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:10,999 Fflends.
- 00:13:11,875 --> 00:13:14,294 Hey, Monica, what about your extra tickets?
- 00:13:14,503 --> 00:13:16,505 They're all in there.
- 00:13:17,255 --> 00:13:20,592 - Even these five that I hid in my bra. - Monica!
- 00:13:20,759 --> 00:13:23,595 Okay. Good. You guys were so scared.
- 00:13:23,762 --> 00:13:26,598 There is no way I was gonna dump this--
- 00:13:26,765 --> 00:13:29,392 - Aah!
- 00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:31,269 [GLASS SHATTERS]
- 00:13:32,062 --> 00:13:34,731 I think I broke your bowl.
- 00:13:35,023 --> 00:13:37,692 Go! Go! Go!
- 00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:56,378 What a beautiful night to be running around the street, looking for tickets.
- 00:13:57,128 --> 00:13:59,339 And the wind sure made it fun.
- 00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:02,634 - Phoebe, we lost half of them. - So what?
- 00:14:02,801 --> 00:14:04,928 Monica, we have the winning ticket.
- 00:14:05,095 --> 00:14:08,557 My psychic said I was gonna win, remember?
- 00:14:08,723 --> 00:14:12,477 Weird your psychic didn't mention anything about the scary pigeon.
- 00:14:13,979 --> 00:14:17,607 As a matter of fact, she said that's how I'm going to die.
- 00:14:17,774 --> 00:14:22,070 So excuse me for being a little skittish.
- 00:14:22,237 --> 00:14:24,406 There's two messages. This could be from work.
- 00:14:24,573 --> 00:14:27,951 - Oh, play them. - Okay. Here we go.
- 00:14:28,118 --> 00:14:29,160 [MACHINE BEEPS]
- 00:14:29,327 --> 00:14:35,166 <i>PHOEBE: Hello. This is the pigeon from the balcony calling to apologize.</i>
- 00:14:35,625 --> 00:14:41,089 <i>I shouldn't have knocked the tickets out of the pretty lady's hand.</i>
- 00:14:41,756 --> 00:14:46,303 <i>It was all my fault. Not hers. Bye. Coo.</i>
- 00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:55,353 Well, I bet that was very hard for him to do.
- 00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:57,230 [MACHINE BEEPS]
- 00:14:57,397 --> 00:14:59,065 <i>CHARLIE: Hey, Chandler, it's Charlie.</i>
- 00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:01,109 This is it. Shh, Shh!
- 00:15:01,276 --> 00:15:05,447 <i>Listen, um, it turns out I got the last spot.</i>
- 00:15:05,614 --> 00:15:08,450 <i>I'm really sorry, man. It was</i> a <i>lot of fun working with you</i>
- 00:15:08,617 --> 00:15:11,077 <i>Give me a call if you want.</i>
- 00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:13,997 Gosh, I'm so sorry, honey.
- 00:15:14,164 --> 00:15:15,707 JOEY: Sorry, Chandler.
- 00:15:15,874 --> 00:15:20,795 It is so unfair. It's like that time they promoted Saundra over me at work.
- 00:15:21,004 --> 00:15:22,714 Was she related to Ralph Lauren?
- 00:15:22,923 --> 00:15:26,593 No, she was just much better at her job than me.
- 00:15:26,801 --> 00:15:28,637 You guys, the drawing's about to start.
- 00:15:28,803 --> 00:15:31,806 We should call my mom's and say good night to Emma...
- 00:15:31,973 --> 00:15:34,017 -...before she goes down. - Good idea.
- 00:15:34,517 --> 00:15:37,312 Honey, you're being really strong about this.
- 00:15:37,479 --> 00:15:40,023 I know how badly you wanted that job.
- 00:15:40,231 --> 00:15:43,026 Yeah, you know, I really thought I deserved it.
- 00:15:43,318 --> 00:15:48,615 But let's go win the lottery. I mean, we still have a 130 chances to win, right?
- 00:15:50,241 --> 00:15:52,661 Hundred and thirty-one.
- 00:15:53,578 --> 00:15:56,289 Yeah, good night, sweetheart. I love you.
- 00:15:56,456 --> 00:16:00,293 And remember, you're Daddy's little girl. Heh.
- 00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:03,129 Phoebe's totally ruined that for me.
- 00:16:06,758 --> 00:16:08,259 Hi, Mom. Put her back on.
- 00:16:08,426 --> 00:16:10,428 Rach, they're announcing the numbers!
- 00:16:11,179 --> 00:16:14,641 My God, I can already feel myself changing.
- 00:16:15,058 --> 00:16:18,937 <i>Here are your official Powerball numbers. We have 53.</i>
- 00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:21,648 - I've got that. - We have one too!
- 00:16:21,815 --> 00:16:24,609 We are on the road, people!
- 00:16:25,944 --> 00:16:26,987 Come on!
- 00:16:27,195 --> 00:16:32,659 Mom, please, I know you love your new lips, but I can barely understand you.
- 00:16:32,826 --> 00:16:35,954 Would you please just let me say good night to my daughter?
- 00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:38,540 <i>ANNOUNCER: And here we go. The Powerball is seven.</i>
- 00:16:38,748 --> 00:16:42,460 All right, check your numbers! Make me rich.
- 00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:45,922 You guys, you're not gonna believe this.
- 00:16:46,089 --> 00:16:49,467 I was just saying good night to Emma, and she said her first words.
- 00:16:49,884 --> 00:16:51,761 ROSS: What? - Well, what did she say?
- 00:16:51,970 --> 00:16:54,806 She said, "Gleba"!
- 00:16:58,643 --> 00:17:00,895 Make me rich!
- 00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:04,899 - Isn't that amazing? - Oh, yeah. No, no, no, that's great.
- 00:17:05,066 --> 00:17:06,776 Why aren't you more excited?
- 00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:11,239 Rach, heh, "gleba" is not a word.
- 00:17:11,656 --> 00:17:15,660 - Well, of course it is. - Okay. What does it mean?
- 00:17:15,869 --> 00:17:18,913 Well, I don't know all the words.
- 00:17:19,289 --> 00:17:22,792 You know, I'm just glad I didn't miss my daughter's first word.
- 00:17:22,959 --> 00:17:27,297 - Yes you did! Gleba is a word! - Okay. Use it in a sentence.
- 00:17:27,505 --> 00:17:31,301 Okay. Uh, Emma just said, "Gleba
- 00:17:34,345 --> 00:17:38,349 - It's not a word. - Ugh. Okay, fine. I'm gonna look it up.
- 00:17:38,516 --> 00:17:40,060 ROSS: Oh, okay, great.
- 00:17:40,268 --> 00:17:43,980 While you're at it, she said another word the other day. Why don't you look up:
- 00:17:44,147 --> 00:17:45,523 [BLOWS RASPBERRY]
- 00:17:49,861 --> 00:17:54,240 All right. Okay. Okay. Gleba Gleba. Gleba. Gleba!
- 00:17:54,449 --> 00:17:59,829 Here it is! "The fleshy, spore-bearing inner mass of a certain fungi."
- 00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:04,584 Heh.
- 00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:08,171 She's gonna be a scientist.
- 00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:17,972 - Damn it. Anybody got anything? CHANDLER: No.
- 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:20,308 I'm still looking through mine.
- 00:18:20,517 --> 00:18:23,686 Just double-checking. No.
- 00:18:23,853 --> 00:18:26,773 No. No.
- 00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:33,655 No!
- 00:18:33,947 --> 00:18:36,241 [PHONE RINGS]
- 00:18:36,866 --> 00:18:39,661 Hello? Hold on.
- 00:18:39,828 --> 00:18:40,870 It's your boss.
- 00:18:41,037 --> 00:18:43,832 Ah, the "I'm sorry I rejected you" phone call.
- 00:18:43,998 --> 00:18:46,626 I'm not used to getting these from guys.
- 00:18:47,669 --> 00:18:50,171 - Hey, Steve. - Chandler, hi.
- 00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:53,258 I'm sure you've heard we filled the three positions.
- 00:18:53,424 --> 00:18:55,760 We felt that with your maturity and experience...
- 00:18:55,927 --> 00:18:58,388 ...you wouldn't be happy being someone's assistant.
- 00:18:58,596 --> 00:19:01,182 I'd love to be somebody's assistant. Answering phones...
- 00:19:01,349 --> 00:19:03,184 ...getting coffee, I live for that stuff.
- 00:19:03,351 --> 00:19:08,273 And I'm not too mature. Farts, boobies, butt cracks!
- 00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:13,611 Chandler, you were the strongest person in the program.
- 00:19:13,778 --> 00:19:17,240 We're offering you the position of junior copywriter.
- 00:19:18,950 --> 00:19:21,703 Me? That guy who just said, "butt cracks"?
- 00:19:21,870 --> 00:19:23,079 <i>STEVE: Yes, that's right.</i>
- 00:19:23,288 --> 00:19:25,623 We're excited about the level of sophistication...
- 00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:28,126 ...you'll be bringing to the job.
- 00:19:29,544 --> 00:19:33,214 Okay. Well, thanks, you won't regret it. I'll see you tomorrow.
- 00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:47,353 What?
- 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:49,480 Oh, yeah, I'm gonna be a junior copywriter!
- 00:19:49,647 --> 00:19:51,399 [ALL CHEERING]
- 00:19:51,566 --> 00:19:54,527 Congratulations! Oh, sweetie, I'm so proud of you.
- 00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:57,322 Thanks. Does that mean I get the good loving tonight?
- 00:19:57,488 --> 00:20:01,326 You bet. No TV or anything.
- 00:20:01,993 --> 00:20:05,330 - Hey, that is so great about the job. CHANDLER: Thanks, man.
- 00:20:05,496 --> 00:20:07,665 I'd like to think I had something to do with it.
- 00:20:07,874 --> 00:20:11,085 - Really? Why? - Well, before with the wishbone.
- 00:20:11,252 --> 00:20:17,008 I, uh, didn't wish we would win the lottery. I wished you'd get the job.
- 00:20:17,467 --> 00:20:19,510 Qh, yeah?
- 00:20:19,844 --> 00:20:21,888 Don't tell Monica. She'll rip your heart out.
- 00:20:22,096 --> 00:20:23,264 Oh, yeah.
- 00:20:26,017 --> 00:20:28,519 Well, you know what? There was a little part of me...
- 00:20:28,686 --> 00:20:30,772 ...that really thought we were gonna win.
- 00:20:30,980 --> 00:20:37,445 Me too. So much for my dinosaur/Amelia Earhart theme park.
- 00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:42,033 You guys? What was the Powerball number again?
- 00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:44,786 - Seven. - We won.
- 00:20:45,078 --> 00:20:46,871 - What? - We won!
- 00:20:47,038 --> 00:20:49,749 MONICA: Let me see! Let me see! - Don't tear it!
- 00:20:50,124 --> 00:20:53,920 Phoebe, you don't have any of the first five numbers!
- 00:20:55,004 --> 00:21:01,261 I know that, but look, we got the Powerball number. We won $3!
- 00:21:02,136 --> 00:21:06,224 Wow, you think we should get that over 20 years or go for the big payout?
- 00:21:06,391 --> 00:21:11,020 I don't care. I've never won anything before. I can't believe this!
- 00:21:11,229 --> 00:21:13,481 So, Pheebs, what are you gonna do with your $3?
- 00:21:13,690 --> 00:21:16,818 Well, it's not all mine. We all get 50 cents.
- 00:21:17,527 --> 00:21:20,488 Aw. You know what? You can have mine.
- 00:21:20,655 --> 00:21:21,906 - Me too. - Me too.
- 00:21:22,073 --> 00:21:24,409 RACHEL: Me too. Ha, ha.
- 00:21:29,122 --> 00:21:32,000 Well, I guess if everybody else is.
- 00:21:41,467 --> 00:21:44,429 Hey, guys. So I just called the Powerball hot line.
- 00:21:44,762 --> 00:21:49,892 - Can you believe it? Nobody won. - Um, I beg to differ.
- 00:21:51,394 --> 00:21:55,023 Maybe nobody won the jackpot, but there was this guy in here earlier...
- 00:21:55,189 --> 00:22:00,111 ...and he found a ticket on the street right outside and won $10,000.
- 00:22:09,620 --> 00:22:14,751 Coo. Again, don't blame the pretty lady.
- 00:22:15,126 --> 00:22:20,089 It was not her fault. It was me, the pigeon. Coo.
- 00:22:23,634 --> 00:22:26,929 Seriously, stop staring at her.
- 00:22:38,900 --> 00:22:40,902 [English - US - SDH]
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