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Эпизод с поминками
The One with the Memorial Service
Сезон: 09Серия: 17
Описание
Росс и Чендлер размещают ложную информацию друг о друге на сайте выпускников своего колледжа, а именно, что Чендлер — гей, а Росс мертв. Тем временем Джои и Эмма ссорятся из-за «игрушки-пингвина для сна» Хагси. Джои отчаянно пытается вернуть своего старого Хагси, в том числе и купить Эмме нового. Фиби просит Монику помочь ей пережить расставание с Майком любыми способами.
Субтитры
- 00:00:03,450 --> 00:00:05,618 - You ready to go? - Let me just finish this.
- 00:00:05,785 --> 00:00:09,038 Hey, Ross. Check this out.
- 00:00:13,751 --> 00:00:15,503 Yeah, I can't do that. Heh.
- 00:00:16,921 --> 00:00:18,882 - What are you doing? - Have you seen this?
- 00:00:19,048 --> 00:00:21,468 It's our new alumni website for college.
- 00:00:21,676 --> 00:00:25,388 You can post messages for people, let everyone know what you're up to.
- 00:00:25,597 --> 00:00:29,976 Oh, great. A faster way to tell people that I'm unemployed and childless.
- 00:00:30,185 --> 00:00:33,146 It's actually interesting to find out what people are doing.
- 00:00:33,313 --> 00:00:34,772 Remember Andrea Rich?
- 00:00:34,981 --> 00:00:37,108 - Tall girl, wouldn't sleep with you? - Uh-huh.
- 00:00:37,317 --> 00:00:42,071 Well, her Internet company went under, and she lost an ear in a boating accident.
- 00:00:43,406 --> 00:00:45,909 Bet she'd sleep with you now.
- 00:00:47,327 --> 00:00:49,662 No, I already e-mailed her.
- 00:00:51,080 --> 00:00:52,832 Let me see what you wrote about yourself.
- 00:00:52,999 --> 00:00:57,086 - Oh. -"Doctor of paleontology, two kids."
- 00:00:57,295 --> 00:01:00,882 Wait a second. You split with Carol because you had different interests?
- 00:01:01,049 --> 00:01:05,303 I think you split with Carol because you had one very similar interest.
- 00:01:06,429 --> 00:01:09,516 You know what? I'm gonna finish this later, okay? Let me just grab my coat.
- 00:01:09,682 --> 00:01:11,351 Okay.
- 00:01:14,270 --> 00:01:17,398 What, did you think you learned how to do it in the last two minutes?
- 00:01:21,694 --> 00:01:24,364 Maybe we finish this for him.
- 00:01:29,118 --> 00:01:32,914 Also, I cloned a dinosaur in my lab.
- 00:01:33,623 --> 00:01:36,292 She is now my girlfriend.
- 00:01:37,544 --> 00:01:41,881 I don't care what society says, it's the best sex I've ever had.
- 00:01:43,383 --> 00:01:47,679 - And send. - No, no-- You can't do that to him.
- 00:01:47,845 --> 00:01:49,847 - All right, let's go. - Dude!
- 00:01:50,014 --> 00:01:54,519 Uh, I think you made it clear you can't be trusted with the ball inside the house.
- 00:02:01,150 --> 00:02:03,069 And send.
- 00:02:44,319 --> 00:02:46,571 RACHEL: Hey. How was basketball?
- 00:02:46,779 --> 00:02:49,657 It was fun. Right up until Chandler got a finger in the eye.
- 00:02:49,824 --> 00:02:51,743 Oh, no. Who did that?
- 00:02:51,909 --> 00:02:54,245 Chandler. Yeah.
- 00:02:54,746 --> 00:02:56,539 H93'-
- 00:02:57,457 --> 00:02:58,666 - Rash? RACHEL: Yeah?
- 00:02:58,875 --> 00:03:01,836 What's Huggsy doing in the crib with Emma?
- 00:03:02,503 --> 00:03:04,631 She was just crawling around and she found him...
- 00:03:04,797 --> 00:03:07,175 ...so I just let her sleep with him.
- 00:03:07,342 --> 00:03:11,054 - That's all right, isn't it? - Of course. Yeah.
- 00:03:11,220 --> 00:03:16,476 It's a stuffed animal, you know? It's for kids. Not for adults.
- 00:03:16,643 --> 00:03:18,353 I know that.
- 00:03:18,561 --> 00:03:21,439 Joey, you're sure? I mean, I know how much you love him.
- 00:03:21,606 --> 00:03:26,819 Rachel, let's be clear on this, okay? I do not love Huggsy.
- 00:03:27,070 --> 00:03:29,822 I like him a normal amount.
- 00:03:31,115 --> 00:03:33,576 All right. Well, Emma loves him.
- 00:03:33,785 --> 00:03:37,205 Yeah. Well, why wouldn't she? He's a wonderful person.
- 00:03:41,918 --> 00:03:44,962 - Hi. - Hey, Phoebe. How you doing?
- 00:03:45,129 --> 00:03:48,424 - You feeling better? - Breaking up sucks.
- 00:03:48,591 --> 00:03:52,428 - Oh, I really miss Mike. - Oh, I'm so sorry.
- 00:03:52,637 --> 00:03:56,432 I've tried everything to feel better. I even tried writing a song about it...
- 00:03:56,599 --> 00:03:58,851 ...but I can't think of anything that rhymes with:
- 00:03:59,018 --> 00:04:00,311 [SCREAMS]
- 00:04:02,772 --> 00:04:05,692 Hey, Monica, I'm gonna need your help getting through this.
- 00:04:05,900 --> 00:04:08,069 You're saying you're not gonna need my help?
- 00:04:08,277 --> 00:04:10,488 No. When I get to the point where I'm ready...
- 00:04:10,655 --> 00:04:14,033 ...to hear cruel, mocking jokes about Mike, I'm gonna come to you.
- 00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:18,162 Oh, good, because I've already thought of three. Four! I just thought of a fourth.
- 00:04:19,205 --> 00:04:21,708 Okay. I mean, I know I did the right thing.
- 00:04:21,916 --> 00:04:23,418 Mike never wants to get married...
- 00:04:23,584 --> 00:04:26,629 ...and I shouldn't be in a relationship that has no future.
- 00:04:26,796 --> 00:04:29,132 But pretty soon, I'm gonna miss him so much...
- 00:04:29,298 --> 00:04:32,260 ...I'm gonna want to see him again, and you have to stop me.
- 00:04:32,468 --> 00:04:34,721 Okay, you got it.
- 00:04:36,723 --> 00:04:40,143 Unless... Am I being too crazy about this?
- 00:04:40,309 --> 00:04:42,103 All right, so, you know, there's no future.
- 00:04:42,270 --> 00:04:45,148 But that doesn't mean we still can't have fun.
- 00:04:45,523 --> 00:04:49,068 - You know what? Forget what I said. - Really?
- 00:04:49,235 --> 00:04:52,947 - All right, if that's what you want. - That was a test, and you just failed.
- 00:04:53,990 --> 00:04:56,993 Damn it! Rookie mistake.
- 00:05:01,122 --> 00:05:03,624 I have sex with dinosaurs?
- 00:05:06,252 --> 00:05:08,921 I believe I read that somewhere.
- 00:05:09,672 --> 00:05:12,508 Not only is it not funny, it's physically impossible. Okay?
- 00:05:12,675 --> 00:05:17,847 Depending on the species, I'd have to have a 6-foot-long-- It's not funny!
- 00:05:19,140 --> 00:05:21,642 I respectfully disagree.
- 00:05:21,851 --> 00:05:24,187 I can't believe you put that on my alumni page.
- 00:05:24,395 --> 00:05:27,023 - Who cares? Nobody reads those. - You better hope not...
- 00:05:27,231 --> 00:05:29,484 ...because I just read what you put on your page.
- 00:05:29,692 --> 00:05:33,029 - I don't have a page. - Oh, I respectfully disagree!
- 00:05:51,214 --> 00:05:55,218 <i>JOEY: Look at you. All sweet and innocent, sleeping like an angel.</i>
- 00:05:55,802 --> 00:05:59,263 <i>With Emma's chubby little hands wrapped around you.</i>
- 00:06:01,307 --> 00:06:04,769 It's okay, Emma. You stay asleep.
- 00:06:04,936 --> 00:06:06,229 [EMMA CRYING]
- 00:06:06,437 --> 00:06:09,315 Step away from the crib! I have a weapon!
- 00:06:09,482 --> 00:06:13,236 It's okay! It's okay, Rach! It's me! Put down the scrunchie.
- 00:06:14,028 --> 00:06:16,864 - What are you doing? - Well, I heard Emma stirring...
- 00:06:17,031 --> 00:06:20,076 ...so I came in to make sure she could reach Huggsy.
- 00:06:20,243 --> 00:06:25,289 Oh. Oh, thanks. All right, well, now that I'm up, I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
- 00:06:25,456 --> 00:06:29,043 Okay, there you go, sweetie.
- 00:06:29,377 --> 00:06:31,504 This isn't over.
- 00:06:35,967 --> 00:06:39,053 Wait a second. Why would Ross tell everyone in your class...
- 00:06:39,262 --> 00:06:43,099 ...that you are "as gay as the day is long"?
- 00:06:44,058 --> 00:06:47,228 Because I told everyone he slept with dinosaurs.
- 00:06:47,854 --> 00:06:52,692 Well, that's clearly a joke. This could easily be true.
- 00:06:52,859 --> 00:06:53,985 [PHONE RINGING]
- 00:06:54,151 --> 00:06:58,447 Would you get that, please? People have been calling to congratulate me all day.
- 00:07:01,868 --> 00:07:03,035 Hello?
- 00:07:03,202 --> 00:07:07,039 No, he's not here. Yeah, this is his wife.
- 00:07:07,540 --> 00:07:10,293 Yeah. Well, it came as quite a shock to me too.
- 00:07:12,587 --> 00:07:14,171 Well, I guess I should've known. Yeah.
- 00:07:14,338 --> 00:07:17,258 He just kept making me watch Moulin Rouge.
- 00:07:17,425 --> 00:07:19,051 Hang up- Hang UP-
- 00:07:19,218 --> 00:07:21,178 And that was a great movie.
- 00:07:23,139 --> 00:07:25,933 I'm so gonna get back at Ross.
- 00:07:26,100 --> 00:07:28,477 Oh, yeah, this'll show him. Here we go.
- 00:07:28,686 --> 00:07:32,023 - What are you doing? - Oh, you'll see, my friend!
- 00:07:36,527 --> 00:07:39,071 I'm dead?
- 00:07:40,907 --> 00:07:43,117 And so young.
- 00:07:43,784 --> 00:07:47,580 Posting that I died? That really isn't funny.
- 00:07:48,247 --> 00:07:49,749 Well, how you died was funny.
- 00:07:49,957 --> 00:07:52,627 Oh, please. Hit by a blimp?
- 00:07:53,419 --> 00:07:57,548 It kills over one Americans every year.
- 00:07:58,299 --> 00:08:01,594 Unbelievable. My classmates are gonna think I'm dead.
- 00:08:01,761 --> 00:08:04,847 My professors. My parents are gonna get phone calls.
- 00:08:05,014 --> 00:08:07,016 You're messing with people's feelings here.
- 00:08:07,224 --> 00:08:08,768 You wanna talk about people's feelings?
- 00:08:08,935 --> 00:08:11,062 You should have heard how hurt Professor Stern was...
- 00:08:11,228 --> 00:08:14,231 ...when I told him I wouldn't be able to go with him to Key West!
- 00:08:15,900 --> 00:08:18,778 You've really crossed a line here. But that's okay.
- 00:08:18,945 --> 00:08:21,739 Because I'm on my way to buy some Photoshop software...
- 00:08:21,906 --> 00:08:23,491 ...and a stack of gay porn.
- 00:08:23,658 --> 00:08:26,869 That's right. Your coming-out is about to get real graphic!
- 00:08:32,625 --> 00:08:35,169 God, I wish Mike were here.
- 00:08:35,795 --> 00:08:38,965 Okay, if Mike were here, what would the two of you be doing?
- 00:08:40,257 --> 00:08:43,177 What are you, animals? It's 4:00 in the afternoon.
- 00:08:44,470 --> 00:08:47,974 I gotta call him. Just to talk to him. There's no harm in that.
- 00:08:48,140 --> 00:08:49,850 Phoebe, that's how it starts.
- 00:08:50,017 --> 00:08:53,521 "I don't need to eat the cake, I'll just smell the icing.
- 00:08:53,688 --> 00:08:57,900 Why not just a little sliver?" Or, "Okay, just a slice or two."
- 00:08:58,067 --> 00:09:00,236 You know, the next thing you know, you're 210 pounds...
- 00:09:00,403 --> 00:09:03,155 ...and you get wedged in going down the tunnel slide.
- 00:09:05,241 --> 00:09:06,993 Phoebe, honey, I know this is hard.
- 00:09:07,159 --> 00:09:10,413 But look, if you talk to him, then you're gonna want to see him.
- 00:09:10,579 --> 00:09:13,332 And if you see him, you're gonna wanna get back together.
- 00:09:13,499 --> 00:09:16,252 And I know that's not what you want.
- 00:09:17,670 --> 00:09:20,256 All right, so give me your phone.
- 00:09:20,548 --> 00:09:22,550 - Here. - Thank you.
- 00:09:22,717 --> 00:09:26,595 - And now your cell. - Okay.
- 00:09:30,808 --> 00:09:32,601 There you go.
- 00:09:39,483 --> 00:09:43,237 - This is your cell phone? - Yes.
- 00:09:43,446 --> 00:09:45,948 This is your current cell phone?
- 00:09:47,366 --> 00:09:50,661 Yes. It reminds me of a simpler time.
- 00:09:52,246 --> 00:09:54,623 Phoebe? Where's your purse?
- 00:09:57,209 --> 00:09:58,836 “Hey! No! - No!
- 00:09:59,003 --> 00:10:00,796 - Give it to me! - You can't have it.
- 00:10:00,963 --> 00:10:03,049 - Give it to me! - No.
- 00:10:05,176 --> 00:10:07,136 - I'll go in there. - Oh, yeah.
- 00:10:07,303 --> 00:10:08,512 MONICA: Come here! - No!
- 00:10:08,679 --> 00:10:12,641 MONICA: Give it to me! - You're crazy! God.
- 00:10:13,309 --> 00:10:14,977 Aha!
- 00:10:15,144 --> 00:10:17,480 Damn you, Monica Geller hyphen Bing!
- 00:10:20,900 --> 00:10:26,113 Hey, look who's here. It's Joey. And he brought home a friend.
- 00:10:26,322 --> 00:10:27,364 Joey, Emma's right here.
- 00:10:27,531 --> 00:10:30,451 You promised not to bring girls home in the middle of the day anymore.
- 00:10:30,659 --> 00:10:33,537 No, no, no, it's not a girl. It's...
- 00:10:33,704 --> 00:10:35,998 -...a brand-new Huggsy! - Oh.
- 00:10:36,582 --> 00:10:39,877 Oh, that's so great. Now Emma has two Huggsies.
- 00:10:40,044 --> 00:10:44,173 No, no. Oh, no. No, Emma has one Huggsy.
- 00:10:44,340 --> 00:10:46,050 The new Huggsy. Huh?
- 00:10:46,217 --> 00:10:49,804 The other Huggsy, I don't know, I guess I'll just take him back.
- 00:10:49,970 --> 00:10:54,850 You know what? When I was a little girl, I had a little pink pony named Cotton.
- 00:10:55,017 --> 00:10:59,522 Oh, I loved her so much. I took her everywhere. I would braid her tail--
- 00:10:59,688 --> 00:11:01,649 Make the transfer!
- 00:11:05,736 --> 00:11:09,740 Should I be concerned that a button fell off the old Huggsy and I can't find it?
- 00:11:09,949 --> 00:11:13,285 Don't worry about it. I swallowed that years ago. Hey.
- 00:11:13,452 --> 00:11:14,995 [EMMA CRYING]
- 00:11:15,162 --> 00:11:18,707 Oh, what? I don't think she likes the new Huggsy.
- 00:11:18,958 --> 00:11:21,752 - But he's the same. - I think she wants the old one back.
- 00:11:21,961 --> 00:11:24,964 - Yeah, but he's the same. - Joey, come on.
- 00:11:25,172 --> 00:11:27,800 But he's the same.
- 00:11:30,302 --> 00:11:32,888 You're not the same.
- 00:11:35,015 --> 00:11:36,308 Aha!
- 00:11:36,684 --> 00:11:39,186 You know, it's a lot less surprising to do that...
- 00:11:39,353 --> 00:11:41,647 ...after I've buzzed you into the building.
- 00:11:42,940 --> 00:11:46,277 So, Phoebe, why are there men's shoes by the door?
- 00:11:47,111 --> 00:11:49,572 - Those are my shoes. - Oh.
- 00:11:49,738 --> 00:11:52,867 Well, when you get over this breakup, we need to go shopping.
- 00:11:53,450 --> 00:11:56,495 Look, Monica, I really appreciate you checking in on me.
- 00:11:56,662 --> 00:11:59,123 - But I'm actually feeling a lot better. - You are?
- 00:11:59,290 --> 00:12:01,750 Yeah, I just kind of want to be alone right now.
- 00:12:02,001 --> 00:12:03,836 [KNOCKING ON DQOR]
- 00:12:04,336 --> 00:12:08,507 - Who's that? PHOEBE: I ordered Chinese food.
- 00:12:10,718 --> 00:12:13,470 What are the chances?
- 00:12:14,054 --> 00:12:17,892 One billion Chinese people, and they send Mike!
- 00:12:22,855 --> 00:12:25,149 - What are you doing here? - Phoebe called me.
- 00:12:25,399 --> 00:12:27,902 - Phoebe! - I'm sorry. I broke down.
- 00:12:28,068 --> 00:12:29,361 I wanted to see him.
- 00:12:29,528 --> 00:12:31,655 Damn it, Phoebe, how did you even call him?
- 00:12:31,864 --> 00:12:34,116 There's a speakerphone on the base unit.
- 00:12:34,325 --> 00:12:37,703 Base unit. Think, Monica, think!
- 00:12:37,953 --> 00:12:41,207 - Look, if I want to see Phoebe, and she-- - This doesn't concern you.
- 00:12:42,666 --> 00:12:46,045 Sorry. I guess I was thrown off by the mention of my name.
- 00:12:47,796 --> 00:12:50,007 Look, guys, you can't do this.
- 00:12:50,174 --> 00:12:52,551 It's gonna make getting over each other harder.
- 00:12:52,718 --> 00:12:56,889 Not if nothing happens. Why can't we just hang out as friends?
- 00:12:58,432 --> 00:13:02,186 Sure. If you're just gonna hang out as friends, then maybe I'll join you.
- 00:13:02,394 --> 00:13:04,021 I'm your friend and Mike's friend.
- 00:13:04,521 --> 00:13:05,731 Well...
- 00:13:08,359 --> 00:13:10,486 PHOEBE: Sit down.
- 00:13:12,404 --> 00:13:15,950 Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. Make room for your friend.
- 00:13:26,335 --> 00:13:29,171 - So how have you been? - I've been pretty good.
- 00:13:33,968 --> 00:13:37,930 - You look really beautiful. - Thanks. You look good too.
- 00:13:38,097 --> 00:13:42,476 No, no, no. This is dangerous territory. Keep it clean.
- 00:13:44,103 --> 00:13:45,688 So how's the piano playing going?
- 00:13:45,854 --> 00:13:48,816 Actually, I've been playing a lot of love songs lately.
- 00:13:49,441 --> 00:13:53,320 - I've missed you. - I've missed you too.
- 00:13:56,031 --> 00:14:00,953 You know, on the way over here, I saw this drunk guy throw up.
- 00:14:02,329 --> 00:14:04,331 And then a pigeon ate it.
- 00:14:09,086 --> 00:14:10,587 Hey. Ross.
- 00:14:11,005 --> 00:14:13,632 Look, I just wanted to apologize.
- 00:14:14,216 --> 00:14:17,469 Don't tell me you actually made those gay pictures of me.
- 00:14:17,636 --> 00:14:20,597 Uh-huh, uh-huh. Check this out.
- 00:14:20,806 --> 00:14:23,642 So that's what I'd look like if I worked out.
- 00:14:24,768 --> 00:14:27,438 And was being serviced by a policeman.
- 00:14:28,522 --> 00:14:30,691 You're not gonna actually send these out, are you?
- 00:14:30,899 --> 00:14:34,862 Actually, I don't need to, because your little "Ross is dead" joke didn't work.
- 00:14:35,029 --> 00:14:36,780 Okay? There were no responses.
- 00:14:36,947 --> 00:14:39,700 Nobody posted anything on the website, nobody called my parents...
- 00:14:39,867 --> 00:14:41,577 ...so the joke, my friend, is on you.
- 00:14:41,744 --> 00:14:46,373 Nobody called, nobody wrote anything, nobody cares that I'm dead.
- 00:14:50,669 --> 00:14:52,296 Oh, my God.
- 00:14:52,463 --> 00:14:56,216 - Nobody cares that I'm dead? - Oh, come on, you know that's not true.
- 00:14:56,383 --> 00:14:58,802 What are you talking about? You get 60 responses...
- 00:14:58,969 --> 00:15:00,679 ...just for coming out of the closet.
- 00:15:00,846 --> 00:15:04,141 I didn't get one response, and I'm dead!
- 00:15:04,308 --> 00:15:08,729 Well, the gay community is a lot more vocal than the dead community.
- 00:15:08,896 --> 00:15:14,777 I can't believe this. Not even my geology lab partner. And I carried that guy.
- 00:15:14,943 --> 00:15:16,904 All right. Look, let's think about this, okay?
- 00:15:17,071 --> 00:15:20,240 You think people are gonna disturb your family at this tragic time?
- 00:15:20,407 --> 00:15:23,077 That people are gonna post condolences on a website?
- 00:15:23,243 --> 00:15:25,329 This isn't about people not caring that you're dead.
- 00:15:25,496 --> 00:15:29,416 This is about people not having a decent outlet for their grief.
- 00:15:30,501 --> 00:15:33,128 - You're right. There isn't a decent outlet. - Right.
- 00:15:33,295 --> 00:15:35,672 Come on. I'm sure if you had a funeral or memorial service...
- 00:15:35,839 --> 00:15:38,092 ...tons of people would come.
- 00:15:38,675 --> 00:15:40,636 Exactly!
- 00:15:41,845 --> 00:15:43,430 Ross, what are you doing?
- 00:15:44,431 --> 00:15:46,683 You're having a memorial service for yourself?
- 00:15:47,142 --> 00:15:50,229 No, that would be stupid. You're having it for me.
- 00:15:51,563 --> 00:15:55,734 - Ross, don't press send. Don't press-- - No, too late. Too late. It's sent.
- 00:15:55,901 --> 00:15:58,862 Sorry, so is that picture of you and the policeman.
- 00:16:01,115 --> 00:16:03,909 I'm trying to put Emma down for a nap. Have you seen Huggsy?
- 00:16:04,076 --> 00:16:05,994 Uh, original or crappy?
- 00:16:07,413 --> 00:16:09,957 - Original. - No. Sorry. Haven't seen him.
- 00:16:10,165 --> 00:16:12,876 Then what's that big lump under your covers'?
- 00:16:14,128 --> 00:16:17,506 - It's Monica, okay? - That's not Monica!
- 00:16:17,673 --> 00:16:21,009 All right, fine! It's original Huggsy!
- 00:16:22,678 --> 00:16:25,222 I know Emma wants him, but he's mine and I need him.
- 00:16:25,389 --> 00:16:28,016 She's being unreasonable.
- 00:16:28,308 --> 00:16:31,645 Joey, there is a reason that Emma loves that stupid penguin so much!
- 00:16:31,854 --> 00:16:33,939 Oh, don't cover its ears!
- 00:16:34,648 --> 00:16:38,402 It's because it reminds her of her Uncle Joey.
- 00:16:39,278 --> 00:16:40,988 - It does? - Yeah.
- 00:16:41,155 --> 00:16:46,034 And she's comforted by him because she loves her Uncle Joey so much.
- 00:16:46,243 --> 00:16:50,080 - Really? She loves me? - Oh, yeah.
- 00:16:50,289 --> 00:16:53,250 But you know what? If you need Huggsy, don't worry.
- 00:16:53,417 --> 00:16:56,628 Emma will totally understand. I won't, but whatever.
- 00:16:56,837 --> 00:17:01,383 Okay, wait a minute, wait a minute, Rach. I mean, if...
- 00:17:01,550 --> 00:17:05,179 If Huggsy means that much to Emma, then...
- 00:17:05,596 --> 00:17:06,889 Well, she can have him.
- 00:17:07,264 --> 00:17:09,975 Oh, sweet, I knew Uncle Joey would step up.
- 00:17:10,350 --> 00:17:14,146 - Look, Emma. Look who's back. - No, forget it! Forget it! I can't do it!
- 00:17:14,354 --> 00:17:17,232 Are you--? You're gonna take Huggsy away from a little child?
- 00:17:17,441 --> 00:17:19,818 How do you think I got him in the first place?
- 00:17:22,404 --> 00:17:24,740 All right, you two. I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
- 00:17:24,907 --> 00:17:26,992 I don't want anything going on while I'm gone.
- 00:17:27,242 --> 00:17:29,203 Here's a few things you can discuss:
- 00:17:29,369 --> 00:17:33,624 Mucus, fungus, and the idea of me and Ross doing it.
- 00:17:37,169 --> 00:17:38,587 I've missed you so much.
- 00:17:38,795 --> 00:17:42,633 I'm not gonna ask you to get back together. I know we want different things, but...
- 00:17:42,799 --> 00:17:45,385 - Just to be with you one more night. - I want that too.
- 00:17:45,552 --> 00:17:49,723 - But is that gonna make it too hard? - It can't be any harder than this.
- 00:17:49,932 --> 00:17:53,435 I mean, if I had known the last time I saw you would be the last time, I--
- 00:17:54,228 --> 00:17:57,231 I would have stopped to memorize your face, the way you moved.
- 00:17:57,397 --> 00:17:59,608 Everything about you.
- 00:17:59,775 --> 00:18:03,862 If I had known the last time I kissed you would be the last time...
- 00:18:04,029 --> 00:18:06,490 ...I never would have stopped.
- 00:18:07,783 --> 00:18:10,327 Kiss him, you fool!
- 00:18:10,994 --> 00:18:13,413 - What? - Didn't you hear that speech?
- 00:18:13,580 --> 00:18:15,832 If you don't kiss him, then I will.
- 00:18:16,583 --> 00:18:19,169 I missed you so much.
- 00:18:19,753 --> 00:18:23,382 - I knew you'd be here! - Aw, crap.
- 00:18:23,549 --> 00:18:27,386 - Who is this? - It's my friend Manny.
- 00:18:27,553 --> 00:18:30,556 I asked him to keep me away from you.
- 00:18:31,181 --> 00:18:35,561 - Hey, that's what I'm doing for Phoebe. - Well, you're not doing a very good job.
- 00:18:36,144 --> 00:18:38,272 - Excuse me? - What's with the kissing?
- 00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:41,024 Hey, at least I knew where my guy was.
- 00:18:41,191 --> 00:18:44,361 Yeah, thank God you were here to oversee all the kissing.
- 00:18:45,362 --> 00:18:48,031 - You didn't hear the speech. MANNY: I've heard the speech.
- 00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:50,450 If he knew it was gonna be the last time--
- 00:18:50,617 --> 00:18:52,995 Hey, it was very moving. You're just heartless!
- 00:18:53,203 --> 00:18:55,581 - You're weak! - You're weird!
- 00:18:55,789 --> 00:18:58,417 - Your pants are undone. - Oh!
- 00:19:01,128 --> 00:19:03,255 Where'd they go?
- 00:19:04,131 --> 00:19:07,551 - Damn it. - Well, we blew it.
- 00:19:07,718 --> 00:19:09,886 I blame myself.
- 00:19:10,304 --> 00:19:12,306 And I blame you too.
- 00:19:18,729 --> 00:19:22,441 It's been an hour, and not one of my classmates has shown up?
- 00:19:22,733 --> 00:19:26,570 I tell you, when I actually die, some people are gonna get seriously haunted.
- 00:19:27,613 --> 00:19:28,905 [KNOCKING ON DQOR]
- 00:19:29,072 --> 00:19:31,033 There you go. Someone came.
- 00:19:31,241 --> 00:19:33,452 Okay. Okay. I'm gonna go hide.
- 00:19:33,619 --> 00:19:37,080 This is so exciting. My first mourner!
- 00:19:40,167 --> 00:19:42,502 Hi. Glad you could come.
- 00:19:42,669 --> 00:19:46,298 - Please come in. - Hi. You're Chandler Bing, right?
- 00:19:46,465 --> 00:19:50,886 - I'm Tom Gordon. I was in your class. - Oh, yes. Yes, let me take your coat.
- 00:19:51,053 --> 00:19:54,765 Thanks. Uh, I'm so sorry about Ross, it's...
- 00:19:54,931 --> 00:19:57,601 No, at least he died doing what he loved.
- 00:19:57,768 --> 00:20:00,062 Watching blimps.
- 00:20:05,442 --> 00:20:07,944 - Who is it? - You know some guy, Tom Gordon?
- 00:20:08,195 --> 00:20:09,571 I don't remember him.
- 00:20:09,738 --> 00:20:13,450 But then again, I touched so many lives.
- 00:20:15,744 --> 00:20:17,287 So did you know Ross well?
- 00:20:17,454 --> 00:20:20,624 Actually, I barely knew him. I came because I heard Chandler's news.
- 00:20:20,791 --> 00:20:22,709 Do you know if he's seeing anyone?
- 00:20:27,047 --> 00:20:33,428 - Yes, he is. Me. - What? You mean--? Oh.
- 00:20:33,845 --> 00:20:38,058 Can I ask you a personal question? How do you shave your beard so close'?
- 00:20:40,435 --> 00:20:42,729 Okay, Tommy! That's enough mourning for you.
- 00:20:42,896 --> 00:20:46,274 Here we go. Bye-bye. All right.
- 00:20:46,441 --> 00:20:50,237 - Hey, listen. Call me. - Okay.
- 00:20:52,531 --> 00:20:57,160 - I'm dead and no one cares? - I look like a man?
- 00:20:57,828 --> 00:21:00,747 Please, one ridiculous problem at a time.
- 00:21:00,914 --> 00:21:03,709 This isn't ridiculous. Look around, no one's here.
- 00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:07,629 You gave them one day's notice. Not everyone checks the website every day.
- 00:21:07,796 --> 00:21:10,090 And Monica, it's probably the way you stand!
- 00:21:12,509 --> 00:21:15,887 I guess you're right. Still, somebody must have seen it.
- 00:21:16,054 --> 00:21:20,058 I mean, I went to that school for four years and I didn't have an impact on anyone?
- 00:21:20,225 --> 00:21:23,520 Well, that's not true. You had an impact on me.
- 00:21:23,687 --> 00:21:26,398 I mean, it's 15 years later and we're still best friends.
- 00:21:26,565 --> 00:21:28,984 Doesn't that count for something?
- 00:21:29,776 --> 00:21:31,027 [G ROANS]
- 00:21:31,194 --> 00:21:33,071 [KNOCKING ON DQOR]
- 00:21:33,238 --> 00:21:36,658 Oh, great, more party boys for Chandler.
- 00:21:36,825 --> 00:21:40,579 I'm sure it's somebody for you. Now go hide.
- 00:21:44,249 --> 00:21:47,961 Hi. I'm here for Ross Geller's memorial service.
- 00:21:48,670 --> 00:21:52,340 - Kori? Kori Weston? - Yeah.
- 00:21:52,758 --> 00:21:55,510 - You look amazing. - And you are?
- 00:21:55,719 --> 00:21:59,264 Chandler. Chandler Bing. And I'm not gay. I'm not gay at all.
- 00:21:59,431 --> 00:22:01,433 You are married, though.
- 00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:04,811 Don't listen to him. He's in a really bad mood.
- 00:22:08,315 --> 00:22:11,902 I can't believe that Ross is gone. It is just so sad.
- 00:22:12,110 --> 00:22:14,154 I didn't know Ross and you were so close.
- 00:22:14,362 --> 00:22:18,200 Oh, we weren't. But we had one class together. He was such a great guy.
- 00:22:18,366 --> 00:22:21,953 And he talked so passionately about science.
- 00:22:22,120 --> 00:22:25,749 - I always remembered him. - I'm sure that would mean a lot to him.
- 00:22:25,916 --> 00:22:27,709 And if heaven has a door...
- 00:22:27,876 --> 00:22:31,671 ...I'm sure he's pressing his ear up against it and listening intently.
- 00:22:33,507 --> 00:22:37,511 I thought so many times about calling him and asking him out.
- 00:22:37,677 --> 00:22:39,554 I guess I really missed my chance.
- 00:22:39,971 --> 00:22:42,265 No, you didn't!
- 00:22:44,059 --> 00:22:45,852 I'm still alive!
- 00:22:47,103 --> 00:22:49,606 Kori, I know this is a big surprise for you.
- 00:22:49,815 --> 00:22:53,944 It's a long story. But the things you just said really made my day.
- 00:22:54,110 --> 00:22:56,279 The fact that you're here means more to me...
- 00:22:56,446 --> 00:22:59,157 ...than if this room were filled with people.
- 00:22:59,825 --> 00:23:02,327 You sick freak! Who does that?
- 00:23:02,494 --> 00:23:04,120 I can't believe I had a crush on you.
- 00:23:09,584 --> 00:23:11,378 Did you hear that?
- 00:23:11,545 --> 00:23:15,257 Kori Weston had a crush on me!
- 00:23:22,722 --> 00:23:26,142 No, Mom, I am not dead.
- 00:23:26,601 --> 00:23:29,855 I know it's not something to kid about.
- 00:23:30,564 --> 00:23:34,943 It was just a practical joke between Chandler and me, but it's over, okay?
- 00:23:35,443 --> 00:23:39,906 Actually, no. Even if I had died, you would not be left childless.
- 00:23:41,533 --> 00:23:43,368 Monica?
- 00:23:49,291 --> 00:23:51,293 [English - US - SDH]
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