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Эпизод с хулиганством
The One with the Mugging
Сезон: 09Серия: 15
Описание
Фиби и Росс становятся жертвами нападения одного из старых друзей Фиби с улицы (Кайл Гасс), но, узнав её, отпускают. Росс узнаёт, что Фиби — это та самая, которая ограбила его в подростковом возрасте и украла его оригинальный комикс «Science Boy». Тем временем Чендлер устраивается на неоплачиваемую стажировку в рекламное агентство, но чувствует себя не в своей тарелке из-за своего возраста, увидев, что другие стажёры — подростки. Джои проходит прослушивание на роль в бродвейской пьесе с Леонардом Хейсом (Джефф Голдблюм), но вынужден идти на мучительные крайности (включая многочасовое терпение), чтобы получить роль после того, как Хейс говорит, что ему не срочно нужна роль. Специальный гость: Джефф Голдблюм в роли Леонарда Хейса
Субтитры
- 00:00:02,962 --> 00:00:05,715 Guys! Guys! I've got great news. Guess what.
- 00:00:05,881 --> 00:00:08,259 - Uh, Monica's pregnant! - Really?
- 00:00:10,720 --> 00:00:12,805 Let's get past the moment.
- 00:00:13,180 --> 00:00:14,849 - What's your news? - Thank you.
- 00:00:15,266 --> 00:00:17,268 I got a job in advertising.
- 00:00:17,435 --> 00:00:20,479 - Oh, honey, that's incredible! PHOEBE: Wow.
- 00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:23,441 Gosh, what's the pay like?
- 00:00:25,443 --> 00:00:27,737 Oh, come on, people.
- 00:00:27,903 --> 00:00:29,905 If I don't know who makes the most...
- 00:00:30,072 --> 00:00:32,616 ...how do I know who I like the most? Hi, Joey.
- 00:00:35,161 --> 00:00:37,121 It pays nothing. It's an internship.
- 00:00:37,329 --> 00:00:39,206 We have interns at Days of our <i>Lives.</i>
- 00:00:39,415 --> 00:00:42,460 Right. So it'll be the same, except less sex with you.
- 00:00:44,420 --> 00:00:46,589 So, uh, what do you think they'll have you do there?
- 00:00:46,756 --> 00:00:49,925 It's a training program, but they hire the people they like.
- 00:00:50,092 --> 00:00:53,095 - That's great! - There's gonna be some grunt work...
- 00:00:53,262 --> 00:00:56,891 ...which will stink. A grown man getting people coffee is humiliating.
- 00:00:59,769 --> 00:01:02,354 Humiliating and noble.
- 00:01:03,314 --> 00:01:05,232 Thank you.
- 00:01:06,901 --> 00:01:09,070 You know, if I didn't already have a job...
- 00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:11,322 ...I would've been good in advertising.
- 00:01:11,489 --> 00:01:14,241 Ross, you did not come up with "got milk?"
- 00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:16,410 Yes, I did! I did!
- 00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:21,123 I should've written it down.
- 00:02:12,341 --> 00:02:13,384 JOEY: Hey. - Hey.
- 00:02:13,551 --> 00:02:16,804 Where's Chandler? I wanna wish him good luck on his first day.
- 00:02:17,012 --> 00:02:19,473 And I smelled bacon. Ha, ha.
- 00:02:20,141 --> 00:02:22,893 - He just left. - Who did?
- 00:02:24,728 --> 00:02:27,189 Joey, you're never gonna believe it! She called!
- 00:02:27,398 --> 00:02:28,941 - She did'? RACHEL: You got it!
- 00:02:29,108 --> 00:02:30,776 - I did? - What is she talking about?
- 00:02:30,985 --> 00:02:33,195 I don't know, but it sounds great!
- 00:02:33,362 --> 00:02:35,531 No, your agent called. You got that audition!
- 00:02:35,739 --> 00:02:37,074 - With Leonard Hayes? RACHEL: Yes!
- 00:02:37,241 --> 00:02:40,953 Oh, my God, that is great! It's for a play on Broadway.
- 00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:45,249 And in a real theater. Not that little one underneath the deli like last time.
- 00:02:45,457 --> 00:02:47,084 - Is it a good play'? - It must be.
- 00:02:47,251 --> 00:02:49,420 I read it and didn't understand a single word!
- 00:02:51,046 --> 00:02:53,757 - Leonard Hayes is starring in it. - Yeah, and directing.
- 00:02:53,924 --> 00:02:56,427 Oh, he was so good in that movie of Macbeth.
- 00:02:56,635 --> 00:03:00,431 - You saw that? - No, but I saw the previews.
- 00:03:00,598 --> 00:03:02,641 - They played it right before Jackass. - Ah.
- 00:03:02,808 --> 00:03:04,268 Oh, yeah, yeah. He has.
- 00:03:04,435 --> 00:03:06,395 - He's done some amazing work. - Oh, yeah.
- 00:03:06,562 --> 00:03:08,731 Oh, I loved him in those phone commercials.
- 00:03:08,898 --> 00:03:12,776 When the monkey hits him in the face with the giant rubber phone. Ha-ha-ha.
- 00:03:12,943 --> 00:03:14,904 Maybe the monkey will be at the audition.
- 00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:17,406 Don't make me more nervous than I already am!
- 00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:30,586 - Good morning. - Can I get you a cup of coffee, sir?
- 00:03:30,753 --> 00:03:33,714 Oh, no, no. I'm an intern, just like you guys.
- 00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:38,469 Except for the tie, the briefcase and the fact that I can rent a car.
- 00:03:38,677 --> 00:03:40,471 Seriously, you're an intern?
- 00:03:40,638 --> 00:03:44,183 I'm heading in a new career direction and you gotta start at the bottom.
- 00:03:44,934 --> 00:03:46,644 Dude.
- 00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:53,067 I know I'm a little older than you guys, but it's not like I'm Bob Hope.
- 00:03:55,986 --> 00:03:58,113 The comedian. USO.
- 00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:01,617 Uh, it's U.S.A., sir.
- 00:04:09,124 --> 00:04:12,169 This is Joey Tribbiani. Joey, these are the producers.
- 00:04:12,336 --> 00:04:15,297 And as you probably already know, this is Leonard Hayes.
- 00:04:15,923 --> 00:04:17,758 JOEY: Wow.
- 00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:23,847 It is so amazing to meet you. I am such a big fan of your work.
- 00:04:24,014 --> 00:04:27,518 Well, I've been blessed with a lot of great roles.
- 00:04:27,685 --> 00:04:32,856 Tell me about it, huh? "Unlimited nights and weekends!"
- 00:04:34,024 --> 00:04:37,319 Are you making fun of me? Because I am not a sellout.
- 00:04:37,528 --> 00:04:40,197 I didn't do it for money. I believe in those phones!
- 00:04:40,364 --> 00:04:44,743 I almost lost a cousin because of bad wireless service.
- 00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:49,081 No, I wasn't making fun of you. I think you were great in those commercials.
- 00:04:49,248 --> 00:04:50,582 - Really? - Yeah.
- 00:04:50,749 --> 00:04:53,836 Well, I do bring a certain credibility to the role.
- 00:04:54,044 --> 00:04:55,462 - It's true. - Are you kidding?
- 00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:57,256 When they shoot you out of that cannon--
- 00:04:57,423 --> 00:04:58,966 [MIMICS CANNON FIRING]
- 00:04:59,133 --> 00:05:01,302 "Hang up that phone!"
- 00:05:01,885 --> 00:05:03,178 - One take. - Wow.
- 00:05:03,387 --> 00:05:05,055 Did that in one. I know.
- 00:05:05,222 --> 00:05:08,267 - So shall we read? - Oh, yeah, sure.
- 00:05:08,434 --> 00:05:11,812 Top of Act 2. This is my entrance. You got it?
- 00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:13,772 Mm-hm.
- 00:05:16,025 --> 00:05:18,652 What the hell are you still doing here?
- 00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:21,071 Oh. Uh.
- 00:05:21,238 --> 00:05:23,615 - I think you know. - Bastard!
- 00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:27,328 I am what you made me. You know what? I could go right now.
- 00:05:27,536 --> 00:05:30,205 - Go! Go! - I can't.
- 00:05:30,372 --> 00:05:34,084 Oh, I want to, Long Pause...
- 00:05:36,253 --> 00:05:38,380 ...but I can't.
- 00:05:39,256 --> 00:05:45,304 I'm so sorry. You're not supposed to say "long pause."
- 00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:51,310 Oh! Oh, I thought that was your character's name. You know?
- 00:05:51,477 --> 00:05:54,938 I thought you were, like, an Indian or something, you know, with the...
- 00:05:55,105 --> 00:05:56,857 - Sorry. - Long Pause.
- 00:05:57,024 --> 00:06:00,903 No. Thank you so much for coming in. We appreciate it. Thank you.
- 00:06:01,070 --> 00:06:02,905 Sure you don't want me to do it again?
- 00:06:03,072 --> 00:06:04,698 - I could do it with an accent. - No.
- 00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:06,033 You know, Southern.
- 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:08,619 [IN JAMAICAN ACCENT] "I could go right now, mon!"
- 00:06:08,786 --> 00:06:09,953 Huh?
- 00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:14,708 My God in heaven.
- 00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:20,172 Joey, hang on for a second. Leonard, can we talk to you for a moment?
- 00:06:20,339 --> 00:06:21,382 Yes?
- 00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:22,925 [WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]
- 00:06:23,092 --> 00:06:25,094 You've gotta be kidding. See, he can't act.
- 00:06:25,260 --> 00:06:26,720 [WOMAN WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]
- 00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:28,514 I don't care if you think he's hot.
- 00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:31,725 If you wanna sleep with him, do it on your own time. This is a play.
- 00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:33,727 [WOMAN WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]
- 00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,729 No, listen, if you insist on this...
- 00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:37,940 ...I will call my agent so fast...
- 00:06:38,107 --> 00:06:42,111 ...on a cell phone connection so clear, he's gonna think I'm next door!
- 00:06:43,487 --> 00:06:48,534 Uh, hi. Uh, thank you so much for whispering for my benefit.
- 00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:52,996 If you tell me what I did wrong, I would love to work on it and try it again for you.
- 00:06:53,163 --> 00:06:55,499 And also, how you doing?
- 00:06:55,707 --> 00:06:57,668 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:06:58,836 --> 00:07:02,965 Would you please just give me another chance? I really wanna get better. Please?
- 00:07:03,132 --> 00:07:04,174 Really?
- 00:07:04,341 --> 00:07:07,094 Well, if you wanna come back today...
- 00:07:07,261 --> 00:07:09,179 -...here are my notes. Ready? - Yeah.
- 00:07:09,388 --> 00:07:12,141 Um, you're in your head. You're thinking way too much.
- 00:07:12,349 --> 00:07:14,560 I really doubt that.
- 00:07:15,144 --> 00:07:19,022 No, no, no. It's that you're not connected with anything in your body.
- 00:07:19,231 --> 00:07:21,483 - No urgency. The scene is a struggle. - Uh-huh.
- 00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:22,734 - It's a race. - Uh-huh.
- 00:07:22,901 --> 00:07:25,154 Also, what you did was horizontal.
- 00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:28,991 - Don't be afraid to explore the vertical. - Uh-huh.
- 00:07:29,158 --> 00:07:33,704 And don't learn the words. Let the words learn you.
- 00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:40,586 Couldn't I just sleep with the producer?
- 00:07:44,715 --> 00:07:46,800 Hey, do you wanna go to dinner tonight?
- 00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:50,554 Oh, I can't. I've got a date with that waitress, Katie.
- 00:07:50,721 --> 00:07:54,141 Yeah, I know we've only gone out, like, twice, but I don't know...
- 00:07:54,308 --> 00:07:58,937 -...I have a good feeling about her. - Oh, I hear divorce bells.
- 00:07:59,313 --> 00:08:01,982 Give me your wallets, and there won't be a problem.
- 00:08:02,149 --> 00:08:03,942 - What? - I have a gun.
- 00:08:04,151 --> 00:08:07,321 Okay, just relax, Phoebe. Just stay calm.
- 00:08:09,281 --> 00:08:11,742 Oh, my God, I can't find my wallet!
- 00:08:13,702 --> 00:08:17,414 - All right, lady, now give me your purse. - No.
- 00:08:17,623 --> 00:08:21,168 What do you mean, "no"? I knew you'd be my death, Phoebe Buffay!
- 00:08:22,586 --> 00:08:25,422 - Lowell, is that you? - Phoebe?
- 00:08:25,631 --> 00:08:30,302 - Oh, my God! - Unbelievable! Oh, my God! Oh!
- 00:08:30,469 --> 00:08:34,932 I'm sorry. Ross, this is my old friend, Lowell, from the streets! Ha, ha.
- 00:08:35,098 --> 00:08:37,518 - Lowell, Ross. - Ross, nice to meet you.
- 00:08:37,726 --> 00:08:39,853 Yeah, a real pleasure.
- 00:08:40,062 --> 00:08:44,274 - Oh, it's been so long! Oh, so long. - Ha-ha-ha.
- 00:08:44,483 --> 00:08:47,945 - I can't believe you're still doing this. - Ah, I know. But I quit smoking.
- 00:08:48,153 --> 00:08:49,905 Good for you.
- 00:08:50,072 --> 00:08:51,782 You look like you're doing well.
- 00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:53,367 I guess your mugging days are behind you.
- 00:08:53,575 --> 00:08:54,618 Oh.
- 00:08:54,785 --> 00:08:58,121 Oh, my God. Phoebe, you used to mug people?
- 00:08:59,623 --> 00:09:02,543 Excuse me, Ross, old friends catching up.
- 00:09:06,630 --> 00:09:07,798 _H6Y- _H6Y-
- 00:09:07,965 --> 00:09:11,426 - How'd the audition go? - They wanna see me again, but, uh...
- 00:09:11,593 --> 00:09:14,346 ...boy, Leonard Hayes did not like me.
- 00:09:14,513 --> 00:09:18,183 - What happened? - Oh, he said I wasn't urgent enough.
- 00:09:18,350 --> 00:09:23,689 Everything I did was horizontal, and I should be more vertical.
- 00:09:24,439 --> 00:09:28,110 - Oh, and he said that I should think less. - Well, so far so good.
- 00:09:30,195 --> 00:09:32,281 Honey, I'm old!
- 00:09:33,532 --> 00:09:34,658 What's wrong?
- 00:09:34,866 --> 00:09:39,997 I am so much older than these other interns. I can't compete with them.
- 00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:41,707 So you're a little older.
- 00:09:41,873 --> 00:09:44,835 Look at the positive. You have all this life experience.
- 00:09:45,043 --> 00:09:50,591 Yes, but I don't think life experience is gonna help me with these.
- 00:09:50,841 --> 00:09:56,221 Wow! It's like they're on fire!
- 00:09:56,388 --> 00:09:58,181 Ooh.
- 00:10:01,184 --> 00:10:03,437 - What are they? - Prototype sneakers.
- 00:10:03,604 --> 00:10:06,189 I need ideas on how to sell them. Which I can't do...
- 00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:09,151 ...because no self-respecting adult would ever wear these.
- 00:10:09,318 --> 00:10:10,861 I'll give you $500 for them.
- 00:10:15,032 --> 00:10:18,076 - What am I supposed to do? - Come on, sneakers are easy.
- 00:10:18,243 --> 00:10:21,955 - You wear them all the time. - They're not called sneakers anymore.
- 00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:28,045 They're called "kicks" or "skids." I think I heard somebody say "slorps."
- 00:10:29,588 --> 00:10:33,342 They've got wheels that pop out from the bottom so you can roll around...
- 00:10:33,508 --> 00:10:36,928 ...because apparently walking is too much exercise.
- 00:10:37,095 --> 00:10:41,475 "Kids! Kids! Roll your way to childhood obesity!"
- 00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:45,479 Would you help me try to sell these?
- 00:10:46,229 --> 00:10:50,734 Okay. Have you considered using a girl with huge knockers?
- 00:10:51,526 --> 00:10:53,403 That's not what they're looking for.
- 00:10:53,612 --> 00:10:56,156 Hey, that would work on me.
- 00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:58,325 Why do you think I buy Mrs. Butten/vorth's?
- 00:11:07,626 --> 00:11:08,794 - Hey. ROSS: Hey.
- 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:11,338 MONICA: Hey. - You'll never guess what just happened.
- 00:11:11,505 --> 00:11:14,174 - Phoebe and I got mugged! - Are you okay?
- 00:11:14,383 --> 00:11:16,968 Yeah, because Phoebe knew the mugger.
- 00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:19,221 How do you know a mugger?
- 00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:23,684 I'm sorry, I have friends outside the six of us.
- 00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:26,978 Know how she knew him? Because Phoebe used to mug people.
- 00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:28,897 Seriously?
- 00:11:29,064 --> 00:11:32,609 Well, I'm not proud of it, but, you know...
- 00:11:32,776 --> 00:11:37,989 ...when I was living on the street and I needed money for food and stuff...
- 00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:42,077 - That is awful. - I wasn't rich like you guys, okay?
- 00:11:42,244 --> 00:11:45,789 I didn't eat gold and have a flying pony.
- 00:11:46,498 --> 00:11:50,669 I had a hard life. My mother was killed by a drug dealer.
- 00:11:50,877 --> 00:11:54,005 - Your mother killed herself. - She was a drug dealer.
- 00:11:56,466 --> 00:12:01,430 It was a good thing Phoebe knew him. I was about to do some serious damage.
- 00:12:01,638 --> 00:12:03,014 Okay.
- 00:12:04,683 --> 00:12:07,686 This must have brought back some bad memories for you, Ross.
- 00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:10,689 - Why? - Well, Ross was mugged as a kid.
- 00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:14,151 - You were? - Yeah. And it was pretty traumatic.
- 00:12:14,317 --> 00:12:16,486 It was outside St. Mark's Comics.
- 00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:21,658 I was minding my business, seeing what kind of trouble Spider-Man got into.
- 00:12:21,867 --> 00:12:23,910 Ahem, Wonder Woman. Ahem.
- 00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:27,205 Anyway, I was heading towards this bakery...
- 00:12:27,372 --> 00:12:30,834 ...to pick up a couple of dozen linzer tortes for someone...
- 00:12:33,837 --> 00:12:37,299 ...when out of nowhere, this thug with a pipe jumps out and says:
- 00:12:37,466 --> 00:12:39,760 -"Give me your money, punk!" - Oh, my God.
- 00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:42,804 I know. And the worst part was they took my backpack...
- 00:12:42,971 --> 00:12:48,810 ...which had all the original artwork I had done for my own comic book, Science Boy.
- 00:12:49,311 --> 00:12:52,189 Oh, yeah! What was his superpower again?
- 00:12:52,397 --> 00:12:55,275 A superhuman thirst for knowledge.
- 00:12:56,985 --> 00:12:59,029 I better get to class.
- 00:12:59,196 --> 00:13:02,407 Are there any more of your friends I should look out for on my way?
- 00:13:02,616 --> 00:13:05,702 No. Actually, you might wanna stay away from Jane Street.
- 00:13:05,869 --> 00:13:07,412 That's where Stabby Joe works.
- 00:13:12,542 --> 00:13:15,378 - Okay, I think we have a problem here. - What?
- 00:13:15,587 --> 00:13:20,717 Well, um, back in my mugging days, I, um, worked St. Mark's Comics.
- 00:13:20,884 --> 00:13:23,804 - Yeah? - Well, a pipe was my weapon of choice...
- 00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:28,767 ...and, um, preteen comic-book nerds were my meat.
- 00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:31,603 So?
- 00:13:31,812 --> 00:13:35,273 There was one kid who had a sticker on his backpack that said:
- 00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:37,692 BOTH: "Geology rocks!"
- 00:13:40,821 --> 00:13:44,741 - Oh, my God! - I know! I mugged Ross!
- 00:13:51,665 --> 00:13:53,583 - You're late. - I know. I'm sorry.
- 00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:55,502 But can I just run to the bathroom?
- 00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:59,714 - No. Leonard doesn't wait. - But I am bursting with Yoo-hoo!
- 00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:03,593 Joey, here we go! Let's go. Very quickly.
- 00:14:03,802 --> 00:14:06,179 - I really need-- - We must go now, quickly.
- 00:14:06,388 --> 00:14:09,432 - Yeah. Yes, sir. Ahh. LEONARD: Ready?
- 00:14:10,308 --> 00:14:14,187 - What the hell are you still doing here? - I think you know!
- 00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:18,942 - Oh, you sick bastard! - I am what you made me! Know what?
- 00:14:19,109 --> 00:14:21,862 - What? - I could go right now.
- 00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:29,911 - Then go. Go! - Oh, I can't. I want to, but I can't!
- 00:14:32,581 --> 00:14:35,292 Cut. That was good!
- 00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:39,004 - Very good. You did everything I asked. - I did?
- 00:14:39,170 --> 00:14:42,757 Yes. Plus which, you've got this, I don't know, this squirmy quality...
- 00:14:43,258 --> 00:14:45,927 ...you bring to the character I couldn't have imagined.
- 00:14:46,136 --> 00:14:47,637 Wow, hey, here's what we're gonna do:
- 00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:50,348 Come back tomorrow for the final callbacks.
- 00:14:50,515 --> 00:14:53,643 Do all of this, what you got going now. But you know what?
- 00:14:53,810 --> 00:14:55,395 More. More. Can you do that?
- 00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:59,900 Sure. I don't have time to say thank you because I really gotta go!
- 00:15:01,359 --> 00:15:05,322 Look at that! Still in character. I like him.
- 00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:10,285 I plant seeds. I can't explain it. I don't know.
- 00:15:14,497 --> 00:15:17,250 - Hey. What are you doing? - Hey. Putting on the sneakers...
- 00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:20,211 ...to get in the young mindset, see if it sparks anything.
- 00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:23,089 - Oh, anything yet? - Yes, how's this?
- 00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:28,261 "They're so uncomfortable, it's like getting kicked in the nuts for your feet."
- 00:15:31,306 --> 00:15:33,475 - Hey. CHANDLER & MONICA: Hey.
- 00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:38,063 [JOEY HUMS]
- 00:15:41,942 --> 00:15:44,527 You're probably wondering what I'm doing. Ha, ha.
- 00:15:44,819 --> 00:15:46,321 No, that seems about right.
- 00:15:47,322 --> 00:15:52,160 Yesterday at my audition, I had to pee. Apparently, that makes me a good actor.
- 00:15:52,327 --> 00:15:54,913 I got a callback, so I'm drinking everything. Oh, by the way...
- 00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:57,832 RACHEL: Mm-hm. -...that eggnog in our fridge was great!
- 00:15:57,999 --> 00:16:02,587 - Joey, that was formula. - We gotta get more of that.
- 00:16:04,547 --> 00:16:08,885 These aren't half bad. You should suggest these to Ralph Lauren.
- 00:16:09,094 --> 00:16:14,224 Okay, first of all, that's stupid. Second, I'm not allowed to talk to Ralph.
- 00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:18,728 All right. I feel younger already.
- 00:16:21,398 --> 00:16:23,942 Yeah, I think I broke my hip.
- 00:16:26,277 --> 00:16:27,779 PHOEBE: Hey, you! - Hey.
- 00:16:27,988 --> 00:16:30,532 Hey. How was class?
- 00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:33,451 No one ever asks me that. What's wrong?
- 00:16:34,619 --> 00:16:37,664 - Nothing. I really wanna know. - Oh, uh.
- 00:16:37,831 --> 00:16:42,210 Well, there was actually a rather lively discussion about the Pleistocene--
- 00:16:42,377 --> 00:16:44,921 All right, nothing is worth this.
- 00:16:45,255 --> 00:16:48,842 Um, I have a confession to make. Um...
- 00:16:49,009 --> 00:16:52,012 Okay, you know that, um, girl that mugged you when you were a kid?
- 00:16:52,554 --> 00:16:57,892 What are you talking about? It wasn't a girl. It was this huge dude.
- 00:16:58,101 --> 00:17:01,604 You don't have to lie anymore. I know that it was a 14-year-old girl.
- 00:17:01,813 --> 00:17:03,356 - No, it wasn't. - Yes, it was.
- 00:17:03,565 --> 00:17:07,736 No, it wasn't. You don't think I would have defended myself against a 14-year-old--?
- 00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:11,656 -"Give me your money, punk!" - Oh, my God, it was you!
- 00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:17,120 I can't believe it. You mugged me?
- 00:17:17,871 --> 00:17:21,374 Yeah. And I'm so, so sorry, Ross. I'm sorry.
- 00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:24,252 But, you know, if you think about it, it's kind of neat.
- 00:17:26,004 --> 00:17:30,133 I mean, well, it's just that I've always felt kind of like an outsider.
- 00:17:30,300 --> 00:17:33,845 You know, the rest of you have these connections that go way back...
- 00:17:34,012 --> 00:17:38,641 ...and, you know, now you and I have a great one.
- 00:17:39,768 --> 00:17:41,603 It's not the best!
- 00:17:42,604 --> 00:17:45,899 I know. Please forgive me. I don't know what to say.
- 00:17:46,107 --> 00:17:49,819 There's nothing you can say! That was the most humiliating thing ever.
- 00:17:50,028 --> 00:17:53,239 - Really? Even more humiliating than-- - Let's not do this!
- 00:17:56,326 --> 00:18:00,080 And then, at the end of the commercial, the girls get out of the hot tub...
- 00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:02,707 ...and start making out with each other. Huh? Huh? Huh?
- 00:18:04,834 --> 00:18:07,295 That's interesting.
- 00:18:07,837 --> 00:18:11,341 Just one thought: You didn't mention the shoes.
- 00:18:13,676 --> 00:18:16,471 - Who's next? Chandler. CHANDLER: Okay.
- 00:18:16,971 --> 00:18:19,474 You start on the image of a guy putting on the shoes.
- 00:18:19,641 --> 00:18:21,684 - He's about my age. - Pfft! Your age?
- 00:18:21,851 --> 00:18:23,561 Uh-huh.
- 00:18:24,229 --> 00:18:27,273 So he's rolling down the street and he starts to lose control.
- 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,984 Maybe he falls. Maybe he hurts himself.
- 00:18:30,151 --> 00:18:33,863 Just then, a kid comes flying by wearing the shoes.
- 00:18:34,030 --> 00:18:37,659 He jumps over the old guy and laughs. And the line reads:
- 00:18:37,826 --> 00:18:40,537 "Not suitable for adults."
- 00:18:41,412 --> 00:18:45,375 - Well, Chandler, that's great. - Oh, thank you, sir.
- 00:18:45,542 --> 00:18:48,545 Or, man who's two years younger than me.
- 00:18:49,838 --> 00:18:54,634 You see, that has a clear selling point. It appeals to our key demographic.
- 00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:57,804 - How did you come up with that? - I don't know! I don't know!
- 00:18:57,971 --> 00:19:03,685 I was just trying to get into a young mindset, and stuff started to flow.
- 00:19:05,603 --> 00:19:08,523 - That is great. Good work. - Thank you.
- 00:19:08,731 --> 00:19:10,692 We'll see all of you tomorrow.
- 00:19:20,743 --> 00:19:23,621 The cold weather hurts my hip.
- 00:19:28,293 --> 00:19:34,757 Hey, Ross. I know you're still mad at me, but can I just talk to you for a sec?
- 00:19:34,966 --> 00:19:38,469 Sure, go ahead. Oh, sorry. Sure, go ahead.
- 00:19:39,804 --> 00:19:42,932 I just really wanted to apologize again.
- 00:19:43,099 --> 00:19:47,937 And also show you something I think you'll find very exciting.
- 00:19:49,647 --> 00:19:52,275 Oh, my God! "Crap from the street!"
- 00:19:57,739 --> 00:20:00,325 Look, Ross. In this box...
- 00:20:00,491 --> 00:20:05,079 ...are all the things I got from mugging that I thought were too special to sell...
- 00:20:05,246 --> 00:20:06,289 ...or smoke.
- 00:20:08,750 --> 00:20:11,753 Anyway, I was looking through it, and I found...
- 00:20:12,420 --> 00:20:14,214 <i>...Science Boy.</i>
- 00:20:15,673 --> 00:20:18,760 Qh, my God!
- 00:20:18,927 --> 00:20:20,511 [SIGHS]
- 00:20:20,678 --> 00:20:23,139 - I never thought I'd see this again. PHOEBE: Yeah.
- 00:20:23,306 --> 00:20:24,349 What--?
- 00:20:24,515 --> 00:20:25,516 [SIGHS]
- 00:20:25,683 --> 00:20:27,060 It's all here!
- 00:20:27,227 --> 00:20:28,519 - Yeah. ROSS: Ha, ha.
- 00:20:28,978 --> 00:20:31,773 What made you save it all these years?
- 00:20:31,981 --> 00:20:34,442 I guess I just thought it was really good.
- 00:20:34,609 --> 00:20:36,986 And maybe it would be worth something one day.
- 00:20:37,820 --> 00:20:41,324 You really thought Science Boy was worth saving?
- 00:20:41,532 --> 00:20:46,621 Yeah. But you should know I also have a jar of Vaseline and a cat skull in here.
- 00:20:49,332 --> 00:20:52,335 Still, this is amazing!
- 00:20:52,502 --> 00:20:54,462 Oh, my God. Thank you, Phoebe.
- 00:20:54,671 --> 00:20:59,092 You're welcome. And thank you for Science Boy. I learned a lot from him.
- 00:20:59,676 --> 00:21:01,177 You're welcome.
- 00:21:04,013 --> 00:21:07,558 - I need an answer! - I can't tell you something I don't know.
- 00:21:07,725 --> 00:21:09,644 - You know! - I don't know!
- 00:21:09,852 --> 00:21:15,775 - I need an answer now! - You want an answer? The answer is...
- 00:21:20,321 --> 00:21:22,240 Aw...
- 00:21:23,533 --> 00:21:26,077 She never loved me. She only loved you.
- 00:21:26,286 --> 00:21:28,997 You knew this all along and you never told me?
- 00:21:29,163 --> 00:21:34,252 I can never forgive you, or myself. I have nothing to live for. Bang! And scene!
- 00:21:36,254 --> 00:21:38,506 Absolutely amazing.
- 00:21:40,758 --> 00:21:44,804 - The part is yours. - Thanks! Now I really got to get going.
- 00:21:45,013 --> 00:21:48,933 Wait, wait, wait! Congratulations. You did it.
- 00:21:49,100 --> 00:21:52,937 You did it. You can relax now. Yeah.
- 00:21:53,104 --> 00:21:54,522 [SIGHS]
- 00:22:05,616 --> 00:22:07,827 Wow! That's a big cable bill.
- 00:22:08,911 --> 00:22:13,875 Ha. You don't have a job, but you have no problem ordering porn.
- 00:22:14,584 --> 00:22:17,086 On a Saturday afternoon?
- 00:22:17,420 --> 00:22:19,797 I was in the house!
- 00:22:22,008 --> 00:22:25,303 Hey, uh, Phoebe didn't by any chance mention that--
- 00:22:25,511 --> 00:22:27,972 She was the huge guy that mugged you? Yeah.
- 00:22:29,098 --> 00:22:31,684 I see. You didn't happen to tell--
- 00:22:31,893 --> 00:22:35,521 - Everybody we know? Yeah. - Great. Thanks.
- 00:22:38,316 --> 00:22:40,318 [English - US - SDH]
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