Эпизод со свиданиями вслепую
Описание
Чтобы Росс и Рэйчел поняли, что идеально подходят друг другу, Фиби и Джои устраивают им неудачные свидания вслепую: Фиби знакомит Рэйчел с неоплачиваемым швеей, который критикует себя и пытается вызвать жалость у окружающих, а Джои, случайно найдя Росса «своей идеальной женщиной», отменяет свидание, заставляя Росса думать, что тот его бросил. В конце эпизода Росс и Рэйчел приходят к выводу, что Фиби и Джои намеренно устраивают им неудачные свидания вслепую, и эпизод заканчивается тем, что Росс и Рэйчел выгоняют Джои и Фиби из Central Perk. Тем временем Моника и Чендлер присматривают за Эммой, но когда Моника понимает, что неправильно посчитала даты овуляции, пара спешно убегает в соседнюю комнату, чтобы заняться сексом, не обращая внимания на малышку Эмму. Джои слышит их и, в шоке, выводит Эмму из квартиры. В эпизоде также появляется Джон Ловиц в роли Стива.
Субтитры
- 00:00:04,338 --> 00:00:06,173 - Morning, roomie. - Hey!
- 00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:08,884 You remembered to put clothes on this morning.
- 00:00:10,469 --> 00:00:12,680 - Fifth day's the charm. - Oh.
- 00:00:13,055 --> 00:00:18,436 It's so great to be back here. You're making it so easy on me and Emma.
- 00:00:18,602 --> 00:00:21,522 It's great having you back. Stay as long as you want.
- 00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:24,400 And when does she stop crying all night?
- 00:00:27,445 --> 00:00:31,240 Hey! You're not naked. Heh.
- 00:00:31,407 --> 00:00:33,993 So, hey, Rash, when will we expect to see you tonight?
- 00:00:34,160 --> 00:00:37,955 I'll probably be back around 6. But she's in the bedroom, all ready to go.
- 00:00:38,122 --> 00:00:39,957 But she did fall back to sleep, so...
- 00:00:40,124 --> 00:00:44,211 She's probably exhausted from all that adorable screaming she did last night.
- 00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:45,880 - Bye. ROSS: Bye.
- 00:00:46,464 --> 00:00:49,300 Hey, I hope Emma isn't making it too hard on you.
- 00:00:49,467 --> 00:00:50,718 No, hey, it's been great.
- 00:00:50,885 --> 00:00:51,927 - Yeah? - Yeah.
- 00:00:52,094 --> 00:00:54,597 I want you to know that with Rachel staying here...
- 00:00:54,764 --> 00:00:57,933 ...all my feelings from before are totally over.
- 00:00:58,100 --> 00:00:59,435 And even if they weren't...
- 00:00:59,602 --> 00:01:02,188 ...when you walk in on a woman using a breast pump...
- 00:01:02,354 --> 00:01:04,565 - Yeah, that'll do it. - Wow.
- 00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:07,485 So how are you?
- 00:01:07,651 --> 00:01:09,653 - I'm okay. - Really?
- 00:01:09,820 --> 00:01:13,949 Sure. I mean, do I wish me and Rachel living together would have worked out?
- 00:01:14,116 --> 00:01:17,953 Of course. You know, I'm disappointed, but it's not like it's a divorce.
- 00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:22,666 - Well, actually it-- - It's not a divorce. It is not a divorce!
- 00:01:25,002 --> 00:01:27,880 Anyway, I think Rachel and I need to get on with our lives.
- 00:01:28,047 --> 00:01:30,382 Maybe start seeing other people.
- 00:01:31,300 --> 00:01:33,135 Wow. Really?
- 00:01:33,302 --> 00:01:36,597 Sure, why not? In fact, if you know anyone that'd be good for me...?
- 00:01:36,764 --> 00:01:40,017 - Sure. I know lots of girls. - Yeah? Any names come to mind?
- 00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:42,436 Ooh. Names?
- 00:02:25,229 --> 00:02:26,480 _H6Y- _H6Y-
- 00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:29,608 - I was just gonna eat. Want something? - What you got?
- 00:02:29,775 --> 00:02:33,404 Okay, let's see, we got strained peas, strained carrots...
- 00:02:33,571 --> 00:02:36,157 ...ooh, strained plums. We haven't tried that yet.
- 00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:37,616 Goody!
- 00:02:38,325 --> 00:02:40,744 Thanks. Ha, ha.
- 00:02:41,287 --> 00:02:43,998 So how is it living with Rachel again?
- 00:02:44,165 --> 00:02:46,667 - I mean, apart from the great food? - Ha, ha.
- 00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:48,836 I'm fine, I'm fine. It's just...
- 00:02:49,003 --> 00:02:51,505 It's just weird what's happening with her and Ross.
- 00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:54,091 Yesterday he asked me to fix him up with somebody.
- 00:02:54,258 --> 00:02:56,802 Rachel asked me if I knew anyone for her too.
- 00:02:56,969 --> 00:02:59,054 - Why are they doing this? - I don't know.
- 00:02:59,221 --> 00:03:01,599 They're so perfect for each other. It's crazy.
- 00:03:01,765 --> 00:03:03,809 You know what's crazy? These jars.
- 00:03:03,976 --> 00:03:06,478 What is there, like, two bites in here?
- 00:03:09,982 --> 00:03:12,484 I just wish they'd realize they should be together.
- 00:03:12,651 --> 00:03:16,238 When they moved in together, I figured that's where things were headed.
- 00:03:16,405 --> 00:03:19,658 They should be a family. They should marry and have more children.
- 00:03:19,825 --> 00:03:22,536 Yes. And they should name one of their kids Joey.
- 00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:27,833 I may not have kids. Someone's gotta carry on the family name.
- 00:03:30,127 --> 00:03:33,756 You know what? Maybe once they start dating and see what's out there...
- 00:03:33,923 --> 00:03:36,508 ...they'll realize how good they are for each other.
- 00:03:36,675 --> 00:03:39,595 Yeah, because it is slim pickings.
- 00:03:39,762 --> 00:03:42,556 - I had this date last night. Yuck! - Mm.
- 00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:45,851 But we should probably keep it down, she's still in the bedroom.
- 00:03:48,020 --> 00:03:51,649 So, what are we gonna do? Are we just gonna set them up with people?
- 00:03:51,815 --> 00:03:55,653 I know, that just pushes them further and further apart.
- 00:03:55,819 --> 00:03:59,448 I know what we can do. We could set Ross and Rachel up on horrible dates...
- 00:03:59,615 --> 00:04:02,034 ...so they'll realize how good they are together.
- 00:04:02,201 --> 00:04:04,370 - Ooh, that's a great plan. - Yeah.
- 00:04:04,536 --> 00:04:07,248 You know what the best part of it is? I get to do my plan laugh:
- 00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:09,500 [LAUGHS MANIACALLY]
- 00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:12,628 [BOTH LAUGH MAN IACALLY]
- 00:04:14,004 --> 00:04:18,467 Okay. Shh, shh. Not so loud. We don't wanna wake up, uh...
- 00:04:31,355 --> 00:04:34,650 Hi. You guys aren't doing anything tonight, are you?
- 00:04:34,817 --> 00:04:38,362 See, now, why would you assume that? Just because we're married?
- 00:04:38,529 --> 00:04:42,741 I mean, I will have you know that we are very hip, happening people.
- 00:04:43,534 --> 00:04:47,288 Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to reading the obituaries.
- 00:04:48,414 --> 00:04:51,417 I was just asking because I need someone to watch Emma tonight.
- 00:04:51,583 --> 00:04:53,377 Sure we'll do it. What are you up to?
- 00:04:53,544 --> 00:04:55,087 Well, Phoebe set me up on a date.
- 00:04:55,296 --> 00:04:56,672 - Oh, my God. - Wow.
- 00:04:56,839 --> 00:05:00,843 - Why? What's the big deal? - I figured because you and Ross are--
- 00:05:01,010 --> 00:05:04,430 What? Slept together a year and a half ago? Yeah, I'm all set.
- 00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:09,852 I think it's great you're going on a date. It sounds healthy.
- 00:05:10,019 --> 00:05:13,355 I mean, you have needs. Embrace your womanhood.
- 00:05:14,398 --> 00:05:17,860 You want a job? Turn off Oprah and send out a résumé.
- 00:05:20,279 --> 00:05:23,324 - I'll bring her by around 7, okay? - That's perfect.
- 00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:26,535 You guys are gonna have so much fun. She's at such a cute age.
- 00:05:26,702 --> 00:05:30,247 A couple things. Now that she eats solid food, she poops around the clock.
- 00:05:30,414 --> 00:05:33,334 And watch out for your hair because she likes to grab it.
- 00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:37,963 She's also in this phase where if you leave the room, she screams, but, oh...
- 00:05:38,130 --> 00:05:39,965 ...thanks, you guys. Have fun.
- 00:05:42,468 --> 00:05:46,305 Suddenly I wish I was reading my own name.
- 00:05:49,099 --> 00:05:51,810 - Ooh, Joey, hey. I'm so excited. - Hey.
- 00:05:51,977 --> 00:05:55,814 - I just set Rachel up with the worst guy. - All right. Who is he?
- 00:05:55,981 --> 00:05:58,233 It's this guy I used to massage. By "massage"...
- 00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:01,403 ...I mean hold down so he wouldn't turn over and flash me.
- 00:06:02,738 --> 00:06:04,156 Okay, okay.
- 00:06:04,323 --> 00:06:06,992 - Wait till you hear who I got for Ross. - Oh, yeah.
- 00:06:07,159 --> 00:06:11,497 She's this really boring woman. She's a teacher.
- 00:06:12,790 --> 00:06:16,335 - A teacher? - She's into history and foreign movies.
- 00:06:16,502 --> 00:06:19,046 Oh, oh. And she loves puzzles. Huh?
- 00:06:20,214 --> 00:06:22,424 Come on, who loves puzzles?
- 00:06:22,591 --> 00:06:25,052 Well, Ross does.
- 00:06:25,761 --> 00:06:27,930 You're ruining the plan!
- 00:06:28,097 --> 00:06:31,183 Joey, you fixed him up with his perfect woman.
- 00:06:31,350 --> 00:06:33,310 - Oh, my God, you're right! - Yeah.
- 00:06:33,477 --> 00:06:36,230 - She even reads for pleasure! - Ugh.
- 00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:37,940 [JOEY SCOFFS]
- 00:06:38,107 --> 00:06:41,777 - How do you know a woman like that? - I'm not allowed to know smart women?
- 00:06:41,944 --> 00:06:45,697 - Joey? - I met her at the library. I went in to pee.
- 00:06:48,033 --> 00:06:50,786 - So now what do we do? - Well, okay.
- 00:06:50,953 --> 00:06:54,790 I'll call her and tell her the date's canceled and find him somebody else.
- 00:06:56,458 --> 00:07:00,087 What if we don't find him somebody else? We'll just tell her the date's off...
- 00:07:00,254 --> 00:07:03,549 ...but we don't tell Ross. He goes to the restaurant and gets stood up.
- 00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:05,134 Ooh!
- 00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:06,718 Ooh, I hear that's bad.
- 00:07:08,512 --> 00:07:11,640 Ooh, so this is great. Rachel's gonna have a terrible date...
- 00:07:11,807 --> 00:07:15,644 ...Ross gets stood up, and then they'll realize how good they have it together.
- 00:07:15,811 --> 00:07:17,187 Ah, yes, the plan.
- 00:07:17,354 --> 00:07:19,648 Ho-ho-ho.
- 00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:22,401 It's not Santa's plan.
- 00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:26,363 No, it's:
- 00:07:26,530 --> 00:07:28,282 [LAUGHS MANIACALLY]
- 00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:31,910 [BOTH LAUGHING MANIACALLY]
- 00:07:32,244 --> 00:07:36,081 - Yeah, you know, it's not that fun. - No, I think we killed it.
- 00:07:39,585 --> 00:07:41,086 Emma? Emma, look at me.
- 00:07:41,587 --> 00:07:45,591 Well, I think I'll go downstairs for a while.
- 00:07:49,094 --> 00:07:52,097 [CRYING]
- 00:07:52,431 --> 00:07:55,225 No, no, no. No, no, no. It's okay. It's okay. I didn't go.
- 00:07:55,392 --> 00:07:57,644 Don't cry, it's just a bit.
- 00:07:57,811 --> 00:08:00,856 I'm your Uncle Chandler. Funny is all I have!
- 00:08:02,107 --> 00:08:06,111 Okay, just so you know, I'm gonna be ovulating from tomorrow until the 6th.
- 00:08:06,487 --> 00:08:09,448 So don't touch yourself for the next 48 hours.
- 00:08:10,616 --> 00:08:12,659 I don't do that.
- 00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:14,203 I'll try to stop.
- 00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:18,165 - Wait, did you say until the 6th? - Yeah.
- 00:08:18,332 --> 00:08:19,917 Today is the 6th.
- 00:08:20,083 --> 00:08:22,753 No, it's not. Look.
- 00:08:23,086 --> 00:08:25,797 Yes, it's also 2003.
- 00:08:26,298 --> 00:08:28,842 Oh, my God. Today's the 6th?
- 00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:30,844 I may be done ovulating!
- 00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:35,265 I may have also served some very questionable meat at the restaurant.
- 00:08:35,724 --> 00:08:38,602 - Go take the test, see if we're okay. - Okay.
- 00:08:38,769 --> 00:08:41,063 [GIBBERING]
- 00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:47,402 Tough crib.
- 00:08:48,153 --> 00:08:52,157 Hey, where are all my ovulation sticks? There's only one here.
- 00:08:54,493 --> 00:08:58,163 I might have checked to see if I was ovulating a couple times.
- 00:08:59,957 --> 00:09:00,999 Chandler.
- 00:09:01,166 --> 00:09:04,169 I am not working! There's not much to do around here!
- 00:09:17,182 --> 00:09:19,268 Excuse me. Um-- Heh.
- 00:09:19,434 --> 00:09:22,646 Is there a woman waiting at the bar'?
- 00:09:22,854 --> 00:09:27,568 Um, someone average height, dark hair? Or perhaps doing a puzzle?
- 00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:30,737 Uh, there's a drunk Chinese guy.
- 00:09:32,030 --> 00:09:35,367 Well, if I'm still here in an hour, buy him a drink on me.
- 00:09:35,659 --> 00:09:38,412 Um, can I get you another glass of wine?
- 00:09:38,579 --> 00:09:41,582 I don't know if I should. I don't wanna be drunk when I...
- 00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:43,875 ...go home alone tonight.
- 00:09:45,127 --> 00:09:49,089 - Got stood up, huh? - Eh, it's no big deal. It's just a blind date.
- 00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:51,842 Are you worried your date came, saw you and left?
- 00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,429 No!
- 00:09:59,641 --> 00:10:01,643 We're okay. I'm still ovulating.
- 00:10:01,810 --> 00:10:06,231 Oh, good, because as of 4:00 this afternoon, I am not.
- 00:10:07,482 --> 00:10:08,817 So let's do this.
- 00:10:10,527 --> 00:10:12,946 - I don't think I can. - Oh, come on.
- 00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:15,574 I know you're not 18 anymore, but give it a minute.
- 00:10:18,035 --> 00:10:21,204 - Because of Emma. - Oh, my God, Emma.
- 00:10:21,371 --> 00:10:23,248 Oh, sweetie, I forgot you were here.
- 00:10:23,415 --> 00:10:24,458 [EMMA coos]
- 00:10:24,625 --> 00:10:27,210 Oh, you're right, we can't do this. We can't leave her alone.
- 00:10:27,377 --> 00:10:29,296 Sorry.
- 00:10:29,921 --> 00:10:31,465 Unless...
- 00:10:31,632 --> 00:10:34,051 ...maybe we do it here.
- 00:10:34,217 --> 00:10:37,054 I mean, how much can she even be aware of at this age?
- 00:10:37,220 --> 00:10:41,433 Well, she's aware when we leave a room. She may notice if we start...
- 00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:43,393 ...canoodling in it.
- 00:10:45,020 --> 00:10:47,522 -"Canoodling"? - Well, I can't say "hump" or "screw"...
- 00:10:47,689 --> 00:10:49,775 ...in front of the B-A-B-Y.
- 00:10:51,610 --> 00:10:54,363 I don't know, I guess having sex in front of a baby...
- 00:10:54,529 --> 00:10:57,908 -...isn't so-- - Horrifying? Scarring?
- 00:10:58,075 --> 00:11:00,535 Something people go to jail for?
- 00:11:02,621 --> 00:11:04,247 - I guess you're right. - You guess?
- 00:11:04,414 --> 00:11:06,708 At that bed-and-breakfast, we didn't have sex...
- 00:11:06,875 --> 00:11:10,045 ...because you thought a deer was staring through the window.
- 00:11:10,212 --> 00:11:14,007 Well, what kind of a sick bastard wants to do it in front of a deer?
- 00:11:19,888 --> 00:11:23,892 Wow, everything looks so good.
- 00:11:24,059 --> 00:11:26,478 I think I'm gonna have the chicken.
- 00:11:29,690 --> 00:11:32,401 I just have to say this.
- 00:11:32,567 --> 00:11:36,905 - You're really beautiful. - Oh. Wow, that's very sweet. Thank you.
- 00:11:37,072 --> 00:11:38,824 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:11:38,990 --> 00:11:41,076 I'm kind of funny-looking.
- 00:11:42,994 --> 00:11:44,913 - What? - Look, I mean, come on...
- 00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:49,042 ...you're way out of my league. Everybody in here knows it.
- 00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:51,378 I bet that guy over there is probably saying:
- 00:11:51,545 --> 00:11:54,423 "Ooh, why's she out with him? He must be rich."
- 00:11:56,466 --> 00:11:58,427 Well, I'm not.
- 00:11:59,678 --> 00:12:03,181 What do you think you want to order? I'm real excited about that chicken.
- 00:12:03,348 --> 00:12:04,850 I'm not funny, either.
- 00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:10,021 So if you were thinking, "Well, he's not that good-looking...
- 00:12:10,188 --> 00:12:14,317 ...but maybe we'll have some laughs," that ain't gonna happen.
- 00:12:15,694 --> 00:12:20,198 Well, come on, Steve, let's not rule out nervous laughter. Ha-ha-ha.
- 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:25,162 Hey, now, wait a minute, Phoebe told me...
- 00:12:25,328 --> 00:12:28,457 ...that you owned your own restaurant. That's impressive.
- 00:12:28,623 --> 00:12:32,335 I lost it to drugs.
- 00:12:37,215 --> 00:12:39,384 I silk-screen T-shirts now.
- 00:12:39,551 --> 00:12:43,138 Really? What's that like?
- 00:12:43,305 --> 00:12:47,184 It's really fulfilling doing something you hate for no money.
- 00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:52,355 That's right. I have no money, I'm not funny...
- 00:12:52,522 --> 00:12:58,069 ...I live in a studio apartment with two other guys.
- 00:12:58,236 --> 00:13:02,824 And I'm pretty sure I'm infertile.
- 00:13:06,745 --> 00:13:08,705 Now, come on. Come on, Steve.
- 00:13:08,872 --> 00:13:12,209 There must be something that you like about yourself.
- 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:16,338 I do like my hair.
- 00:13:18,340 --> 00:13:20,133 Really?
- 00:13:22,093 --> 00:13:24,095 [INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
- 00:13:27,641 --> 00:13:29,643 [CELL PHONE RINGS]
- 00:13:31,186 --> 00:13:33,855 - Hello? - Phoebe, it's me!
- 00:13:34,523 --> 00:13:38,318 I'm going to hunt you down and kill you.
- 00:13:40,070 --> 00:13:41,279 Hey, Rach.
- 00:13:43,198 --> 00:13:46,993 This is the worst date ever! How could you set me up with this creep?
- 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:50,372 You know, you are talking about one of my dear, dear friends.
- 00:13:50,539 --> 00:13:53,416 I don't care. This guy is a nightmare.
- 00:13:53,583 --> 00:13:56,294 All right, so he gets a little crazy when he's stoned.
- 00:13:58,755 --> 00:14:01,591 - He's not stoned. - Did he go out for a cigarette?
- 00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:05,095 - Yeah. Four times. - My dear, sweet Rach.
- 00:14:05,262 --> 00:14:06,555 Oh.
- 00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:11,852 Well, our plan is working. Rachel's having a miserable time...
- 00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:15,063 ...and Ross is just stood up somewhere at a restaurant all alone.
- 00:14:15,230 --> 00:14:17,274 Great. Pretty soon they'll be back together.
- 00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:21,987 By the time anyone's figured out what we've done, we'll be in sunny Mexico.
- 00:14:23,864 --> 00:14:26,783 Oh, wait, that's the end of a different plan.
- 00:14:29,327 --> 00:14:31,454 [WHISPERS] Oh, she's asleep. Chandler?
- 00:14:34,416 --> 00:14:36,918 - What are you doing? - Emma was doing it.
- 00:14:38,628 --> 00:14:39,838 She's asleep.
- 00:14:40,338 --> 00:14:41,381 Ooh!
- 00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:44,801 - She's asleep. That means we can... - Yes. But we have to be fast.
- 00:14:44,968 --> 00:14:47,679 Oh, okay, I'll try.
- 00:14:48,013 --> 00:14:51,099 - And you can't make any noise. - Okay, I'll try.
- 00:14:56,855 --> 00:14:58,189 [WHISTLES]
- 00:14:58,356 --> 00:14:59,399 Hello?
- 00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:01,318 [EMMA CRYING]
- 00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:03,987 Emma?
- 00:15:06,323 --> 00:15:09,409 Hey! Hi!
- 00:15:10,869 --> 00:15:13,622 How are you? How are you?
- 00:15:13,788 --> 00:15:16,249 Where are your babysitters, huh?
- 00:15:17,167 --> 00:15:19,711 Why is the bedroom door closed?
- 00:15:20,754 --> 00:15:23,632 [CHANDLER & MONICA MOANING]
- 00:15:25,926 --> 00:15:30,931 You can't have S-E-X when you're taking care of a B-A-B-I-E.
- 00:15:36,519 --> 00:15:40,774 I've got bad news. The Chinese guy left.
- 00:15:42,525 --> 00:15:45,320 Eh, if it was meant to be, it's meant to be.
- 00:15:45,487 --> 00:15:47,447 Look, you got stood up. Who cares?
- 00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:50,533 We're gonna show you a good time. Sit and relax.
- 00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:54,329 In fact, let me bring you a crab-cake appetizer on the house.
- 00:15:54,996 --> 00:15:58,291 Wow, free crab cakes? Well, that's nice.
- 00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:02,420 Although I was hoping to have sex tonight. Heh.
- 00:16:02,963 --> 00:16:04,839 Ooh.
- 00:16:08,426 --> 00:16:10,637 Just the crab cakes.
- 00:16:11,012 --> 00:16:14,516 What are you doing? Are you trying to get him to stay? You can't do that.
- 00:16:14,683 --> 00:16:18,520 - Just get out of here, okay? - I'm sorry, what's going on?
- 00:16:18,687 --> 00:16:22,107 Uh, okay, um, the waiters have a little pool going.
- 00:16:22,273 --> 00:16:26,903 We have a bet on how long it'll take before you give up and go home.
- 00:16:28,571 --> 00:16:30,490 What?
- 00:16:31,074 --> 00:16:34,160 You're making money off my misery?
- 00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:37,038 Well, if you stay till 9:20, I am.
- 00:16:37,205 --> 00:16:41,835 This is unbelievable. I have never been so insulted in my life.
- 00:16:42,002 --> 00:16:45,755 Now, if you'll wrap up my free crab cakes, I'll be on my way.
- 00:16:48,925 --> 00:16:53,054 Well, that was weird. You were loud and I was fast.
- 00:16:53,221 --> 00:16:55,140 I think we may have done it this time.
- 00:16:55,306 --> 00:16:58,059 Oh, I wish I didn't have to wait to take a pregnancy test.
- 00:16:58,268 --> 00:16:59,310 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:16:59,477 --> 00:17:01,312 You may wanna get some more of those too.
- 00:17:04,149 --> 00:17:05,483 Where's Emma?
- 00:17:05,650 --> 00:17:08,153 Oh, my God, where's Emma? Where's Emma?
- 00:17:08,319 --> 00:17:11,531 Don't ask me. I was in there canoodling you.
- 00:17:12,824 --> 00:17:16,119 Okay. Okay. I'm sure that Rachel came home early and picked up Emma.
- 00:17:16,286 --> 00:17:18,663 You go look across the hall, I'll call her cell.
- 00:17:18,830 --> 00:17:20,915 - Okay. - You better hope we're pregnant...
- 00:17:21,082 --> 00:17:24,627 ...because one way or another, we're giving a baby back to Rachel!
- 00:17:26,588 --> 00:17:27,630 [STEVE SOBBING]
- 00:17:27,797 --> 00:17:30,759 I can't believe I'm crying in front of you.
- 00:17:30,925 --> 00:17:32,969 You must think I'm so pathetic.
- 00:17:33,678 --> 00:17:36,514 No, no, no, I admire a man who can cry.
- 00:17:36,681 --> 00:17:39,476 - Really? - Don't touch my coat!
- 00:17:40,310 --> 00:17:41,352 [CELL PHONE RINGS]
- 00:17:41,686 --> 00:17:43,772 Oh. Sorry, that's my phone.
- 00:17:44,272 --> 00:17:46,566 - Hello? - Hey, Rach, how's it going?
- 00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:49,402 Oh, my God, this is the worst date ever.
- 00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:51,529 [WHINES]
- 00:17:51,696 --> 00:17:53,156 Oh, come on.
- 00:17:53,323 --> 00:17:57,368 Look, you know what, I'm sorry, but did you really think that this was going well?
- 00:18:00,288 --> 00:18:02,791 - What's up? _Hey, did you stop by here?
- 00:18:02,957 --> 00:18:06,336 - No. - Oh, my God! Then...
- 00:18:07,837 --> 00:18:09,798 Oh, thank God! Emma, there you are!
- 00:18:12,634 --> 00:18:15,303 What? What do you mean, "there you are"? Where was she?
- 00:18:15,887 --> 00:18:21,142 Uh, we were playing peekaboo. She loves it when I'm dramatic. Heh.
- 00:18:24,854 --> 00:18:28,650 - Why the hell did you take her? - Because you two were having sex!
- 00:18:30,819 --> 00:18:34,155 - No, we weren't. - Don't you lie to me.
- 00:18:34,322 --> 00:18:38,409 I can tell by Chandler's hair. You are so lazy. Can't you get on top for once?
- 00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:45,792 All right. All right, we were.
- 00:18:45,959 --> 00:18:48,336 We were trying to make a baby. Monica's ovulating.
- 00:18:48,545 --> 00:18:51,714 It is unacceptable that you'd have sex with Emma in the next room.
- 00:18:51,881 --> 00:18:55,552 - I'm gonna have to tell Rachel about this. - No, please don't. She will kill us.
- 00:18:55,718 --> 00:18:58,263 Hey, I gotta. Unless...
- 00:18:58,471 --> 00:18:59,514 Unless what?
- 00:19:00,265 --> 00:19:02,976 Unless you name your first-born child Joey.
- 00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:07,772 - What? Why? - Hey, I may never have kids...
- 00:19:07,939 --> 00:19:10,525 ...and somebody's gotta carry on my family name.
- 00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:15,071 Your family name is Tribbiani.
- 00:19:23,037 --> 00:19:25,123 Oh, ha, ha. You almost had me.
- 00:19:30,712 --> 00:19:32,922 - Well, um... - Look“.
- 00:19:33,715 --> 00:19:37,093 ...I think I know the answer to this question, but...
- 00:19:38,469 --> 00:19:40,597 ...would you like to make love to me?
- 00:19:46,352 --> 00:19:49,189 Really, really not.
- 00:19:50,315 --> 00:19:52,358 Ah, it's just as well.
- 00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:54,903 It doesn't work anyway.
- 00:20:03,286 --> 00:20:06,456 All right, well, that's good to know. Good night, Steve.
- 00:20:11,836 --> 00:20:14,172 [GRUNTS]
- 00:20:15,215 --> 00:20:16,591 [SIGHS]
- 00:20:16,758 --> 00:20:19,677 - Hey, what's wrong? - I just had a rough night.
- 00:20:19,844 --> 00:20:21,095 Oh. Crab cake?
- 00:20:21,304 --> 00:20:22,847 Ugh.
- 00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:25,350 - Well, what happened? - Uh...
- 00:20:25,516 --> 00:20:28,436 Well, I-- It's kind of weird to talk to you about this, but--
- 00:20:28,603 --> 00:20:30,647 Monica told me you had a blind date.
- 00:20:30,813 --> 00:20:32,315 Yeah.
- 00:20:32,482 --> 00:20:33,691 - I did too. - Oh.
- 00:20:33,858 --> 00:20:37,987 Uh, but is it technically a date if the other person doesn't show up?
- 00:20:38,446 --> 00:20:39,489 Oh.
- 00:20:39,656 --> 00:20:43,326 Oh, no. Do you think she walked in, saw you and left?
- 00:20:46,996 --> 00:20:49,332 Why does everyone keep saying that?
- 00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:53,586 If it makes you feel any better, I wish my date hadn't shown up.
- 00:20:53,753 --> 00:20:56,631 - That bad? - Well, he makes T-shirts for a living...
- 00:20:56,798 --> 00:21:01,010 ...and he thought it would be appropriate to give me...
- 00:21:01,177 --> 00:21:02,804 ...this.
- 00:21:04,639 --> 00:21:07,350 "Female Body inspector"?
- 00:21:08,476 --> 00:21:10,728 - What size is that? - Ugh.
- 00:21:12,355 --> 00:21:13,481 Now wait a minute.
- 00:21:13,648 --> 00:21:15,984 - So they'll name their first child Joey? - Uh-huh.
- 00:21:16,150 --> 00:21:18,861 How do I get them to name the next one after me'?
- 00:21:19,028 --> 00:21:22,824 It's easy. You just walk in on them having sex.
- 00:21:22,991 --> 00:21:26,327 Oh, so they owe me, like, three Phoebes.
- 00:21:26,995 --> 00:21:29,789 Oh, my God! Look, it's Ross and Rachel!
- 00:21:29,956 --> 00:21:31,624 The plan is working!
- 00:21:32,041 --> 00:21:33,084 [LAUGHS MANIACALLY]
- 00:21:33,251 --> 00:21:35,295 Don't do the plan laugh.
- 00:21:35,712 --> 00:21:36,754 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:21:36,921 --> 00:21:39,841 The first dates we've had in months, and they were both such disasters.
- 00:21:40,008 --> 00:21:41,676 Oh.
- 00:21:42,093 --> 00:21:44,887 Huh. You know, it is weird...
- 00:21:45,054 --> 00:21:49,517 ...that Phoebe would set me up on a date that was awful...
- 00:21:49,684 --> 00:21:54,147 ...on the same night Joey set you up on a date that didn't even show.
- 00:21:55,148 --> 00:21:57,066 Wait a minute.
- 00:21:57,692 --> 00:22:00,653 You don't think it was intentional?
- 00:22:00,820 --> 00:22:03,281 I mean, that's just stupid.
- 00:22:03,448 --> 00:22:06,617 We're geniuses. Huh?
- 00:22:06,784 --> 00:22:11,706 - Look at them! They're really bonding. - They're falling in love all over again.
- 00:22:13,583 --> 00:22:16,085 Oh, they see us. Oh, they look mad.
- 00:22:18,046 --> 00:22:20,256 Oh, they figured it out. They're coming. Run!
- 00:22:20,423 --> 00:22:22,550 - Where? - Mexico!
- 00:22:28,306 --> 00:22:30,516 Can you believe they're still not here?
- 00:22:31,517 --> 00:22:34,896 I know. A double blind date and we both get stood up.
- 00:22:35,063 --> 00:22:37,315 What are the chances?
- 00:22:37,899 --> 00:22:40,526 I know, I'm so bummed.
- 00:22:40,693 --> 00:22:43,071 Could we have our free crab cakes now?
- 00:22:44,781 --> 00:22:47,533 - What? - We've been stood up.
- 00:22:47,700 --> 00:22:50,787 And we want our free crab cakes.
- 00:22:50,953 --> 00:22:53,623 Guys, give it a rest. Nobody's betting on you tonight.
- 00:22:53,790 --> 00:22:58,127 Although we do have a pool going to see how long it takes that guy to cry.
- 00:22:59,837 --> 00:23:02,757 I have such fat hands!
- 00:23:08,971 --> 00:23:10,973 [English - US - SDH]
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