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Эпизод, где Рэйчел возвращается на работу
The One Where Rachel Goes Back to Work
Сезон: 09Серия: 11
Описание
Рэйчел возвращается из декретного отпуска раньше времени, опасаясь, что временный сотрудник, нанятый Ральфом Лореном на замену, может получить её должность на постоянной основе. Тем временем Джои помогает Фиби, убеждая режиссёра сериала «Дни нашей жизни» взять её в качестве статистки, но это оборачивается катастрофой. Специальный гость: Дермот Малруни в роли Гэвина
Субтитры
- 00:00:03,503 --> 00:00:04,545 Hey.
- 00:00:04,713 --> 00:00:06,171 Good morning, tiger.
- 00:00:06,339 --> 00:00:10,467 I'm making you a big breakfast, so you can keep up your strength for tonight.
- 00:00:10,635 --> 00:00:13,345 You're gonna get me good and pregnant.
- 00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:17,391 I've got nowhere to go this morning. I'm unemployed.
- 00:00:17,559 --> 00:00:19,643 I don't know what I'm gonna do with my life.
- 00:00:19,811 --> 00:00:22,646 Well, I just lost my erection.
- 00:00:23,189 --> 00:00:25,858 No, I mean, what am I supposed to do with myself?
- 00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:28,277 You're supposed to find your passion in life.
- 00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:31,405 You can be whatever you want to be now. It's exciting.
- 00:00:31,573 --> 00:00:34,658 Yeah, but it's all so overwhelming. I don't know where to start.
- 00:00:34,826 --> 00:00:37,703 Hey, wait a second. I can help you with this.
- 00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:41,915 You just need to be organized. We can make a list of your qualifications...
- 00:00:42,083 --> 00:00:48,005 ...and categorize jobs by industry. There could be folders and files...
- 00:00:48,173 --> 00:00:52,885 Hey, this is where your hyper-organized pain-in-the-ass stuff pays off.
- 00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:54,762 I know!
- 00:00:55,638 --> 00:00:57,723 My erection is back!
- 00:01:37,555 --> 00:01:38,639 Thank you.
- 00:01:38,807 --> 00:01:42,017 Ooh, Joey, could I have a sip of your coffee and a bite of your muffin?
- 00:01:42,185 --> 00:01:44,520 - Okay. - Thank you.
- 00:01:51,402 --> 00:01:53,237 Thank you.
- 00:01:54,405 --> 00:01:58,450 Uh, Pheebs, have you ever been bitten by a hungry Italian?
- 00:01:59,410 --> 00:02:02,371 I'm sorry. It's just, I'm a little short on cash.
- 00:02:02,539 --> 00:02:04,706 Oh, if you want, I could loan you some money.
- 00:02:04,874 --> 00:02:07,751 Oh, no, no, no. I learned never to borrow money from friends.
- 00:02:07,919 --> 00:02:11,839 No. That's why Richard Dreyfuss and I don't speak anymore.
- 00:02:13,049 --> 00:02:16,385 Ooh, hey, how about this? Wanna be an extra on my show?
- 00:02:16,553 --> 00:02:18,011 - You could do that? - Yeah, yeah.
- 00:02:18,179 --> 00:02:21,431 The pay's pretty good, and you could do it for as long as you need.
- 00:02:21,599 --> 00:02:24,935 - Oh, my God. I'm gonna be on TV! - Okay, now...
- 00:02:25,103 --> 00:02:28,981 I gotta tell you, being on TV isn't as glamorous and exciting as you think.
- 00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:32,651 - Oh, really? - No, it is awesome.
- 00:02:33,194 --> 00:02:34,236 Hey, guys.
- 00:02:34,404 --> 00:02:35,988 JOEY: Hey. - Hi.
- 00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:37,281 Oh, wow.
- 00:02:37,448 --> 00:02:38,949 Hey, why are you all dressed up?
- 00:02:39,117 --> 00:02:43,662 We're bringing Emma to Ralph Lauren today to introduce her to everyone.
- 00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:45,956 - Doesn't she look cute? - She sure does.
- 00:02:46,124 --> 00:02:48,709 Why does she have a pink bow taped to her head?
- 00:02:48,877 --> 00:02:51,378 If one more person says, "What a cute little boy"...
- 00:02:51,546 --> 00:02:54,214 ...I'm gonna whip them with a car antenna.
- 00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:57,342 I think she's gonna be the hit of the office, huh?
- 00:02:57,510 --> 00:03:01,847 Yeah, she's gonna be hotter than, uh, peasant blouses and A-line skirts.
- 00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:05,517 Can I get a blue bow?
- 00:03:08,605 --> 00:03:11,356 Okay. I have looked through a bunch of career guides...
- 00:03:11,524 --> 00:03:13,775 ...photocopied and highlighted key passages...
- 00:03:13,943 --> 00:03:17,905 ...and put them into alphabetical folders, so you can make an informed decision.
- 00:03:19,407 --> 00:03:21,617 How long was I in there?
- 00:03:22,577 --> 00:03:25,537 Okay, let's start with the A's. Advertising.
- 00:03:26,122 --> 00:03:29,625 Wait. Advertising, that's a great idea.
- 00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:33,295 Well, don't you wanna look through the rest?
- 00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:38,008 I don't think I have to hear the rest. Advertising makes perfect sense.
- 00:03:38,176 --> 00:03:40,344 I'm sorry you had to waste all this time.
- 00:03:40,511 --> 00:03:43,138 You call eight hours alone with my label maker wasted time?
- 00:03:43,306 --> 00:03:44,389 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:46,934 Ooh, now I'll get to use my shredder!
- 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:51,438 I mean, I could write slogans. I mean, how hard could it be, right?
- 00:03:51,773 --> 00:03:53,190 "Cheese.
- 00:03:53,358 --> 00:03:56,777 It's milk that you chew."
- 00:03:59,697 --> 00:04:04,451 "Crackers. Because your cheese needs a buddy."
- 00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:09,331 "A grape. Because who can get a watermelon in your mouth?"
- 00:04:10,458 --> 00:04:11,708 Oh, I got one.
- 00:04:11,876 --> 00:04:16,088 "Socks. Because your family's feet deserve the best."
- 00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:17,798 Honey, leave it to the pros.
- 00:04:19,342 --> 00:04:21,301 I actually know someone in advertising.
- 00:04:21,469 --> 00:04:24,388 I grew up with a guy who is a vice president at a big agency.
- 00:04:24,555 --> 00:04:27,140 Maybe I can get him to meet you. Give me the phone.
- 00:04:27,308 --> 00:04:32,646 "The phone. Bringing you closer to people who have phones."
- 00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:36,441 "Marriage. It's not for everybody."
- 00:04:40,655 --> 00:04:44,324 That went well. Almost everybody knew that she was a girl.
- 00:04:44,492 --> 00:04:47,995 Yeah, after you punched that one guy who got it wrong, word spread.
- 00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:52,040 I'm just gonna go in my office and pick up some stuff.
- 00:04:55,503 --> 00:04:58,088 - Who the hell are you? - Who the hell are you?
- 00:04:58,256 --> 00:05:01,300 I'm the hell person whose office this is.
- 00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:03,635 Good one, Rach.
- 00:05:04,470 --> 00:05:07,639 I'm Gavin Mitchell, the person who's taking over your job.
- 00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:09,057 Excuse me?
- 00:05:09,225 --> 00:05:11,935 Oh, your baby's so cute.
- 00:05:12,103 --> 00:05:13,145 [LAUGHS]
- 00:05:13,354 --> 00:05:16,356 But why would you put a pink bow on a boy?
- 00:05:21,195 --> 00:05:23,613 Hey, Joey. Look at me.
- 00:05:23,781 --> 00:05:25,157 I'm a nurse.
- 00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:26,658 - Yes, you are. - Ha, ha.
- 00:05:26,826 --> 00:05:28,994 I think it might be time for my sponge bath.
- 00:05:29,912 --> 00:05:33,081 Sorry, I'm just so used to hitting on the extras.
- 00:05:33,249 --> 00:05:36,793 - So are you excited about your scene? - Yeah, but I'm a little nervous.
- 00:05:36,961 --> 00:05:40,714 Oh, relax. Don't be. They'll probably just make you stand in the background.
- 00:05:40,882 --> 00:05:43,508 - Good. - You. Here, come here. Here.
- 00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:47,804 Take this tray, stand on this yellow mark. You're gonna move on "action."
- 00:05:47,972 --> 00:05:51,725 Walk over to the operating table, stop on the blue mark and put the tray down.
- 00:05:51,893 --> 00:05:53,518 Don't walk too fast.
- 00:05:54,103 --> 00:05:56,104 But don't dawdle.
- 00:05:56,981 --> 00:05:59,024 Okay. Now, what?
- 00:05:59,817 --> 00:06:03,362 And, action!
- 00:06:03,821 --> 00:06:05,906 [INSTRUMENTS RATTLING]
- 00:06:08,868 --> 00:06:10,160 DIRECTOR: Cut! Cut. - I'm sorry.
- 00:06:10,328 --> 00:06:13,580 - I'm sorry. I'm just a little nervous. - Yeah, well, don't be.
- 00:06:14,082 --> 00:06:16,291 Okay, that helps.
- 00:06:17,293 --> 00:06:20,045 And, action!
- 00:06:20,713 --> 00:06:23,632 [RATTLING]
- 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:25,217 DIRECTOR: Cut!
- 00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:28,053 Don't worry about it. It usually takes me three takes too.
- 00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:30,639 Ha-ha-ha. All right, eight.
- 00:06:31,974 --> 00:06:35,185 DIRECTOR: And...
- 00:06:35,353 --> 00:06:36,937 ...action!
- 00:06:37,772 --> 00:06:39,856 [RATTLING]
- 00:06:54,872 --> 00:06:57,374 So do you have any other questions about advertising?
- 00:06:57,542 --> 00:07:01,002 No. No. But let me show you what I can do.
- 00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:04,297 "Bagels and doughnuts.
- 00:07:04,465 --> 00:07:08,343 Round food for every mood."
- 00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:12,305 Monica warned me you might do that.
- 00:07:14,183 --> 00:07:16,768 I think we might have something for you at the agency.
- 00:07:16,936 --> 00:07:19,896 - Really? That's great. - It's an unpaid internship.
- 00:07:22,650 --> 00:07:26,736 That's funny. When you said "unpaid," it sounded like you said "unpaid."
- 00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:29,322 Come on, now. Monica has a good job.
- 00:07:29,490 --> 00:07:31,491 It's not like you have a family to support.
- 00:07:31,659 --> 00:07:35,579 Actually, we're trying. I don't think Monica is gonna want to postpone it.
- 00:07:35,746 --> 00:07:37,414 We're supposed to have sex tonight.
- 00:07:38,791 --> 00:07:41,877 Actually, she's probably at home, naked right now.
- 00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:47,382 I tend to keep talking till somebody stops me.
- 00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:51,219 - I can picture her on the bed. - Stop!
- 00:07:51,387 --> 00:07:52,888 Okay.
- 00:07:54,557 --> 00:07:57,184 Wait. What do you mean, you're taking over my job?
- 00:07:57,351 --> 00:08:00,437 Well, while you were on your baby vacation, I was doing your job.
- 00:08:00,605 --> 00:08:03,773 A vacation? My idea of a vacation does not involve...
- 00:08:03,941 --> 00:08:08,028 ...something sucking on my nipples until they are raw.
- 00:08:08,946 --> 00:08:12,073 Clearly, you've never been to Sandals Paradise Island.
- 00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:19,372 All right. Don't get too comfortable there, because I'm back in two weeks.
- 00:08:19,540 --> 00:08:21,374 I want everything back the way it was.
- 00:08:21,542 --> 00:08:25,045 I can't say I care too much for the way you've rearranged my office.
- 00:08:25,213 --> 00:08:28,048 I can't say I care too much for that smell you've brought in.
- 00:08:28,216 --> 00:08:29,341 Excuse me?
- 00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:33,595 Uh, Rach, uh, we have a code brown situation.
- 00:08:34,430 --> 00:08:37,224 Honey, could you please take care of it for me?
- 00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:41,061 All right, but you're gonna have to do one sometime.
- 00:08:43,356 --> 00:08:45,273 Let me just get this straight.
- 00:08:45,441 --> 00:08:48,777 So I go have a baby, and they send some guy in to do my job?
- 00:08:48,945 --> 00:08:52,113 Well, there was talk of shutting down Ralph Lauren altogether.
- 00:08:52,281 --> 00:08:54,908 Okay. Right. You're very cheeky for a temp.
- 00:08:55,076 --> 00:08:58,453 I'm not a temp. I was transferred here from another department.
- 00:08:58,621 --> 00:09:02,249 Oh, and what department was that? The, uh, jerk department?
- 00:09:02,416 --> 00:09:04,292 They didn't tell me about your quick wit.
- 00:09:04,460 --> 00:09:07,128 Well, did they mention that I'm rubber and you're glue?
- 00:09:08,673 --> 00:09:12,133 - Gavin, Ralph loved your ideas. - Oh, hi, Mr. Zelner.
- 00:09:12,301 --> 00:09:14,761 Ah, Rachel. I see you've met Gavin.
- 00:09:14,929 --> 00:09:17,931 When you left us, we weren't sure what we were gonna do.
- 00:09:18,099 --> 00:09:22,018 But then, Gavin to the rescue. Super Gavin. Ha-ha-ha.
- 00:09:23,145 --> 00:09:24,604 Well, that's great.
- 00:09:24,772 --> 00:09:27,649 So now, uh, Super Gavin, when I come back...
- 00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:31,319 ...uh, where do you plan on flying off to?
- 00:09:31,529 --> 00:09:34,698 That's up to Mr. Zelner. I'm sure he'll make the right decision.
- 00:09:34,865 --> 00:09:38,201 Oh, wow. Super ass-kissing power.
- 00:09:39,203 --> 00:09:41,580 Incidentally, when, uh, are you coming back?
- 00:09:42,748 --> 00:09:44,165 Uh, today.
- 00:09:44,333 --> 00:09:48,420 - You said two weeks. - No, I said today.
- 00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:51,673 See, for a superhero, not so much with the listening.
- 00:09:55,761 --> 00:09:56,803 - Hey. PHOEBE: Hey.
- 00:09:56,971 --> 00:09:58,013 So, what'd he say?
- 00:09:58,180 --> 00:09:59,347 Uh...
- 00:09:59,515 --> 00:10:01,683 He can be a little rough around the edges...
- 00:10:01,851 --> 00:10:06,855 ...so I'm gonna replace a word he used a lot with the word "puppy."
- 00:10:08,232 --> 00:10:13,403 Okay? So he said, "If your puppy friend doesn't get her puppy act together...
- 00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:16,698 ...I am gonna fire her mother-puppy ass."
- 00:10:17,533 --> 00:10:20,577 I'm sorry. I can't do this. I'm just not an actor.
- 00:10:20,745 --> 00:10:23,163 That's right. You're not. You're a nurse.
- 00:10:23,331 --> 00:10:25,832 - You're Nurse With Tray. - Joey...
- 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:29,002 Nurse With Tray doesn't know Joey. She has no time for friends.
- 00:10:29,170 --> 00:10:32,714 She gets in that operating room and she carries that tray to the doctor...
- 00:10:32,882 --> 00:10:35,050 ...because if she doesn't, people die.
- 00:10:35,217 --> 00:10:36,843 Who dies?
- 00:10:37,011 --> 00:10:38,928 Man With Eye Patch!
- 00:10:39,096 --> 00:10:41,556 Now, you get in there, and you do your job.
- 00:10:41,724 --> 00:10:42,849 - Yes, doctor. - Okay.
- 00:10:43,017 --> 00:10:44,559 [ALARM BUZZES]
- 00:10:44,727 --> 00:10:47,646 Okay, let's try this one more time.
- 00:10:47,813 --> 00:10:51,650 Hang in there, Man With Eye Patch. Your tray is coming.
- 00:10:53,527 --> 00:10:56,905 And, action.
- 00:11:01,786 --> 00:11:04,204 Yes, I did it! I nailed it!
- 00:11:04,372 --> 00:11:05,413 Whoo!
- 00:11:05,581 --> 00:11:06,665 What's next?
- 00:11:06,832 --> 00:11:09,250 The rest of the scene.
- 00:11:11,003 --> 00:11:12,879 Okay, from the top, people.
- 00:11:20,012 --> 00:11:23,139 Listen, sudden change of plans. Um, my maternity leave just ended.
- 00:11:23,307 --> 00:11:26,059 They said if I didn't come back today, they'd fire me.
- 00:11:26,268 --> 00:11:28,186 What? No, that's illegal.
- 00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:30,980 I'll have the Labor Department here so fast, they won't...
- 00:11:31,190 --> 00:11:36,903 All right, calm down, Norma Rae. They didn't actually say that.
- 00:11:37,071 --> 00:11:41,157 I'm just afraid if I don't come back now, this guy will try and squeeze me out.
- 00:11:41,325 --> 00:11:44,703 But what about Emma? I mean, we don't have a nanny.
- 00:11:44,870 --> 00:11:47,914 I know. We're just gonna have to figure out a plan tonight.
- 00:11:48,082 --> 00:11:50,542 Can you please just take care of her for today?
- 00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:54,546 Absolutely. Just give me your breasts, and we'll be on our way.
- 00:11:56,048 --> 00:11:58,591 Come on. I don't know what else to do.
- 00:11:59,593 --> 00:12:02,178 - Fine. Fine. - Okay.
- 00:12:02,346 --> 00:12:06,599 We'll have fun, won't we? Yes, we will. Yes, we...
- 00:12:06,767 --> 00:12:08,685 [EMMA GIGGLES]
- 00:12:11,313 --> 00:12:13,523 - Ross. - Huh?
- 00:12:15,025 --> 00:12:16,568 You're pretty.
- 00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:26,578 Whatever I decide to do, I'm gonna be starting a new career from scratch.
- 00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:29,706 It's gonna be a while before I make a living at it.
- 00:12:29,874 --> 00:12:34,419 Maybe now's not the right time to be starting a family.
- 00:12:34,587 --> 00:12:38,673 So you have to tell Monica you don't want to have a baby right now?
- 00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:40,383 Yeah.
- 00:12:42,261 --> 00:12:43,678 Goodbye.
- 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:51,227 Okay, it's baby time. Pants off, Bing.
- 00:12:53,189 --> 00:12:55,064 Didn't see you there, Geller.
- 00:12:56,484 --> 00:12:59,027 Yeah, Ross is here, so...
- 00:13:00,154 --> 00:13:01,780 Uh, yeah, uh-huh. Yeah.
- 00:13:01,947 --> 00:13:05,283 Uh, and I was really hoping that maybe I could hang out.
- 00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:09,537 - Mm. - What do you, uh, feel like doing?
- 00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:13,041 Well, uh, we're gonna have sex.
- 00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:16,294 I don't feel like having sex.
- 00:13:19,048 --> 00:13:20,381 Uh, maybe, uh... I don't know.
- 00:13:20,549 --> 00:13:23,092 Maybe we can watch a movie or something.
- 00:13:23,260 --> 00:13:24,594 Uh, let me put it this way:
- 00:13:24,762 --> 00:13:27,472 We're having sex whether you're here or not.
- 00:13:28,182 --> 00:13:30,016 Pants off, Bing.
- 00:13:34,313 --> 00:13:38,942 Now that I'm back, why don't you just fill me in on what you've been up to?
- 00:13:39,109 --> 00:13:43,071 Well, I've changed your screen saver from that picture of *NSYNC.
- 00:13:43,239 --> 00:13:45,031 Hey, they were popular when I left.
- 00:13:46,158 --> 00:13:48,785 I'm working on this big presentation for tomorrow.
- 00:13:48,953 --> 00:13:51,579 I should be involved in that, so get me up to speed.
- 00:13:51,747 --> 00:13:54,624 That'll take weeks. Let me take care of the presentation.
- 00:13:54,792 --> 00:13:56,960 Oh, no. I see what you're doing here, all right?
- 00:13:57,127 --> 00:14:01,673 This is my job, buddy. I've had it for five years, and I know how it works.
- 00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:05,051 - So why don't you just catch me up? - Fine.
- 00:14:06,011 --> 00:14:09,639 Oh, God. You've totally messed with the back support on my chair.
- 00:14:09,807 --> 00:14:12,141 - How do you fix this? - You've been here five years.
- 00:14:12,309 --> 00:14:15,311 - You figure it out. - Fine, I will.
- 00:14:22,403 --> 00:14:23,987 All right, fill me in.
- 00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:30,952 - Hey. - Hey.
- 00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:34,789 Do you have a blue tie that would go with this? Emma spit up on mine.
- 00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:37,667 Oh, yeah, but you have to give it back if I get a job.
- 00:14:37,835 --> 00:14:40,253 Of course, by that time, ties will be obsolete...
- 00:14:40,421 --> 00:14:42,714 ...and we'll all be wearing silver jumpsuits.
- 00:14:45,175 --> 00:14:47,010 - Hey, good morning, lover. - Hey.
- 00:14:47,177 --> 00:14:50,805 I gotta say, after last night, I'm a little weak in the knees.
- 00:14:53,934 --> 00:14:58,646 Here's an idea. You walk into a room, take a quick scan.
- 00:15:01,108 --> 00:15:02,317 Sorry.
- 00:15:02,484 --> 00:15:06,154 But I kind of have this feeling that we may have made a baby last night.
- 00:15:07,114 --> 00:15:11,034 Oh, God, I have to tell you something.
- 00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:13,453 You're not pregnant.
- 00:15:13,621 --> 00:15:15,204 What are you talking about?
- 00:15:15,372 --> 00:15:18,666 Well, that thing that I have to do to make a baby?
- 00:15:18,834 --> 00:15:20,251 I faked it.
- 00:15:21,003 --> 00:15:23,379 What? You faked it?
- 00:15:24,423 --> 00:15:26,341 You know what?
- 00:15:28,093 --> 00:15:30,303 I don't need a tie.
- 00:15:31,639 --> 00:15:35,308 I mean, it's... It's better open collar, you know?
- 00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:39,687 It's, uh, ahem, it's more casual.
- 00:15:45,527 --> 00:15:48,613 Joey. Listen, I can't do this. It doesn't make any sense.
- 00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:52,700 Yesterday I was a nurse, and today I'm a waitress at a café?
- 00:15:52,868 --> 00:15:56,371 Oh, sometimes we use the same extras for different parts. It's okay.
- 00:15:56,538 --> 00:16:01,167 Well, it's not okay, because I gave a very memorable performance as the nurse.
- 00:16:01,335 --> 00:16:05,922 And now, suddenly, I'm the waitress? That's gonna confuse my fans.
- 00:16:07,049 --> 00:16:08,132 Um, um...
- 00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:11,678 Well, maybe you are a nurse...
- 00:16:11,845 --> 00:16:15,473 ...but you moonlight as a waitress.
- 00:16:16,058 --> 00:16:18,101 Oh.
- 00:16:18,268 --> 00:16:19,811 Uh-huh.
- 00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:23,398 Because I'm a single mother supporting my two children.
- 00:16:23,857 --> 00:16:25,733 - Nice. Yeah. - Yeah.
- 00:16:26,443 --> 00:16:28,319 Okay. Wait a minute.
- 00:16:28,487 --> 00:16:33,074 Dr. Drake Ramoray and I work at the same hospital. Wouldn't I come say hi?
- 00:16:33,242 --> 00:16:37,328 No. No, see, uh, you and Drake are having a fight.
- 00:16:37,496 --> 00:16:38,955 About what?
- 00:16:39,123 --> 00:16:42,291 He slept with you and then never called you.
- 00:16:43,544 --> 00:16:46,212 And I just wanted a new daddy for Davey and Becky.
- 00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:47,422 Okay.
- 00:16:47,589 --> 00:16:49,048 [ALARM BUZZES]
- 00:16:49,216 --> 00:16:51,342 Okay. Okay, from the top.
- 00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:54,679 And, action.
- 00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:58,141 So I'm surprised you agreed to have lunch with me.
- 00:16:58,308 --> 00:17:00,768 I'm surprised too. But yet, here I am.
- 00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:04,022 DIRECTOR: Cut! Cut!
- 00:17:04,815 --> 00:17:06,315 What...? What are you doing?
- 00:17:06,483 --> 00:17:10,695 I'm very angry at him because he slept with me and never called me back.
- 00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:12,905 - Me too. - Me too!
- 00:17:14,116 --> 00:17:16,284 Oh, calm down. She means on the show.
- 00:17:16,452 --> 00:17:19,245 We need some new extras around here.
- 00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:25,168 Wow. You're here already.
- 00:17:25,335 --> 00:17:29,130 Yes. Emma and I came in a little early to do research on the presentation.
- 00:17:29,298 --> 00:17:32,633 Actually, I made a few changes. I think I'm caught up on everything.
- 00:17:32,801 --> 00:17:34,844 So ask me anything.
- 00:17:35,012 --> 00:17:38,139 - How do you fix the chair? - Ugh, except that!
- 00:17:39,141 --> 00:17:43,644 Oh, hello, Mr. Zelner. We are all ready for our presentation this afternoon.
- 00:17:43,812 --> 00:17:48,566 - Good, because it's in 10 minutes. - What? I can't do that. I have the baby.
- 00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:50,985 Ross is not gonna pick her up for an hour.
- 00:17:51,153 --> 00:17:53,988 Then Gavin can give the presentation. We have to do it now.
- 00:17:54,156 --> 00:17:58,826 Ralph needs to leave early today. He's going helicopter shopping. Heh.
- 00:18:00,996 --> 00:18:03,081 Well, there you go, you win. You win.
- 00:18:03,248 --> 00:18:06,042 You get to do the presentation. You'll knock them dead.
- 00:18:06,251 --> 00:18:10,213 No one will remember that I worked here, and then Ralph will buy his helicopter...
- 00:18:10,380 --> 00:18:14,092 ...and Super Gavin will just fly right alongside of him.
- 00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:22,183 - You can do the presentation. - No, I can't. I have a baby.
- 00:18:22,351 --> 00:18:24,477 I'll watch her.
- 00:18:26,605 --> 00:18:27,814 Why would you do that?
- 00:18:28,315 --> 00:18:32,151 Because you worked really hard, and it's your job. And you're a little crazy.
- 00:18:34,029 --> 00:18:35,780 [VOICE BREAKING] That's really nice.
- 00:18:36,406 --> 00:18:39,909 I should tell you that crying women make me very uncomfortable.
- 00:18:40,077 --> 00:18:42,620 Well, you're not gonna like what's coming.
- 00:18:42,788 --> 00:18:44,872 [SOBBING]
- 00:18:45,999 --> 00:18:48,751 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- 00:18:49,253 --> 00:18:50,545 God.
- 00:18:50,712 --> 00:18:53,131 Thank you. Thank you.
- 00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:55,883 Um.
- 00:18:56,051 --> 00:18:57,718 [WHISPERS] Okay.
- 00:18:59,096 --> 00:19:02,515 I'm really fine. Don't worry. I'm great with children.
- 00:19:04,059 --> 00:19:05,852 Okay.
- 00:19:09,398 --> 00:19:11,190 [SIGHS]
- 00:19:11,358 --> 00:19:13,192 [EMMA GIGGLES]
- 00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:16,112 Gavin Mitchell. Pleased to meet you.
- 00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:20,658 Please don't fire my friend. Just let me talk to her.
- 00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:23,619 - Okay, but this is her last chance. - Thank you.
- 00:19:23,787 --> 00:19:25,413 How about I do something for you?
- 00:19:25,581 --> 00:19:28,875 Tomorrow, uh, I'll bring you a hat, cover up the bald.
- 00:19:33,797 --> 00:19:36,883 Hey, uh, listen, Pheebs. I was just talking to the director...
- 00:19:37,050 --> 00:19:39,886 ...and he was thinking maybe this time you don't hit Drake.
- 00:19:40,053 --> 00:19:41,679 You just wait on the tables.
- 00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:44,891 I can't do that. I'm an actor. I have a process.
- 00:19:45,058 --> 00:19:47,768 You're a masseuse. You have a table with a hole in it.
- 00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:52,565 Wait, I see what's happening here. You're threatened.
- 00:19:52,733 --> 00:19:53,900 What?
- 00:19:54,067 --> 00:19:57,361 I'm so good in the scene that I'm stealing focus from you.
- 00:19:57,529 --> 00:20:00,823 Well, rise to the challenge, Tribbiani, because I just raised the bar.
- 00:20:00,991 --> 00:20:04,535 - Come join me up here. - Ha-ha-ha.
- 00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:10,750 Yeah, you can fire her, but I would call security. She won't go easy.
- 00:20:13,503 --> 00:20:16,589 You faked it? You couldn't have faked it.
- 00:20:16,757 --> 00:20:20,801 Yes, you can. You just make the faces and the noises.
- 00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:24,013 Guys can fake it?
- 00:20:24,181 --> 00:20:27,600 Ugh, unbelievable. The one thing that's ours.
- 00:20:30,270 --> 00:20:33,064 Why would you fake it when we're trying to have a baby?
- 00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:35,942 Well, that's actually why.
- 00:20:36,109 --> 00:20:37,151 [CHANDLER SIGHS]
- 00:20:37,319 --> 00:20:39,111 Look, I'm starting a whole new career now.
- 00:20:39,279 --> 00:20:40,947 I'm not saying I don't want a baby.
- 00:20:41,114 --> 00:20:43,950 I'm just saying maybe we could wait a little while.
- 00:20:44,868 --> 00:20:46,494 Like...? Like a month?
- 00:20:47,287 --> 00:20:50,665 - Or a year? - Really? You wanna wait a year?
- 00:20:50,832 --> 00:20:53,834 It could be less than a year. I mean, you've heard my stuff.
- 00:20:54,002 --> 00:20:58,965 "Pants. Like shorts but longer."
- 00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:04,428 It'll probably be more than a year.
- 00:21:06,014 --> 00:21:07,473 Wow. I...
- 00:21:07,641 --> 00:21:11,811 - I really wanna have a baby. - Well, yeah, me too.
- 00:21:14,648 --> 00:21:17,942 Look, I'll just get my old job back.
- 00:21:18,151 --> 00:21:20,653 No, I want you to have a job that you love...
- 00:21:20,821 --> 00:21:24,365 ...not statistical analysis and data reconfiguration.
- 00:21:24,533 --> 00:21:27,285 I quit, and you learn what I do?
- 00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:34,041 I think there's never gonna be a right time to have a baby.
- 00:21:34,209 --> 00:21:36,460 Now you're unemployed, and in a little while...
- 00:21:36,628 --> 00:21:39,755 ...you'll find a new job that'll keep you really busy.
- 00:21:39,923 --> 00:21:42,550 There's always gonna be a reason not to do this...
- 00:21:42,718 --> 00:21:46,887 ...but I think once the baby comes, we'll forget about all those reasons.
- 00:21:48,390 --> 00:21:50,099 I guess.
- 00:21:50,267 --> 00:21:53,185 I mean, it's always gonna be scary when we have a baby.
- 00:21:53,353 --> 00:21:55,813 It's gonna be really scary.
- 00:21:55,981 --> 00:21:58,691 I mean, God, when we have a baby...
- 00:21:58,859 --> 00:22:02,653 ...there's gonna be so much that we're not able to control.
- 00:22:03,196 --> 00:22:07,199 I mean, the apartment's gonna be a mess.
- 00:22:07,367 --> 00:22:09,660 I won't have time to clean it.
- 00:22:10,704 --> 00:22:13,331 What if the baby gets into the ribbon drawer...
- 00:22:13,498 --> 00:22:16,167 ...and messes up all the ribbons?
- 00:22:16,460 --> 00:22:18,627 What if there's no room for a ribbon drawer...
- 00:22:18,795 --> 00:22:21,255 ...because the baby's stuff takes up all the space?
- 00:22:21,423 --> 00:22:23,591 Where will all the ribbons go?
- 00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:27,261 Should we go make a baby before you change your mind?
- 00:22:27,429 --> 00:22:29,221 - Yes, please! - Okay.
- 00:22:29,389 --> 00:22:32,350 Oh, and I promise I will not fake it this time.
- 00:22:32,517 --> 00:22:35,770 Well, I wish I could say the same. I'm a little shook up.
- 00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:43,694 I know you botched that operation on purpose.
- 00:22:43,862 --> 00:22:48,074 I can't prove it yet, but when I do, you'll be going to jail for murder.
- 00:22:48,241 --> 00:22:49,909 I don't care if you are my brother.
- 00:22:50,786 --> 00:22:52,912 I'm not your brother.
- 00:22:53,121 --> 00:22:55,164 What about my children, Drake? Huh?
- 00:22:55,332 --> 00:22:58,292 No! No! No!
- 00:22:59,294 --> 00:23:00,753 No! No!
- 00:23:01,963 --> 00:23:03,756 God!
- 00:23:08,595 --> 00:23:10,596 [English - US - SDH]
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