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Эпизод с телефонным номером Рэйчел
The One with Rachel's Phone Number
Сезон: 09Серия: 09
Описание
Во время девичника с Фиби, Рейчел дает парню свой номер телефона, но тут же жалеет об этом, поняв, что ей нужно забыть Росса. Джои думает, что у Моники роман, когда Чендлер заявляет, что ему нужно работать, так как он не хочет лгать Джои о том, что хочет провести время с Моникой, а не пойти с ним на игру. Пока Фиби и Рейчел гуляют, Росс приглашает Майка провести с ними время, но им никак не удается найти тему для разговора. Специальный гость: Пол Радд в роли Майка
Субтитры
- 00:00:04,546 --> 00:00:07,881 This kitty is Mittens. This one is Fitzhugh.
- 00:00:08,049 --> 00:00:10,968 And this little guy in the cat condo is Jinkies.
- 00:00:12,262 --> 00:00:16,473 Yeah. That's a lot of cats, Jo Lynn.
- 00:00:16,641 --> 00:00:17,766 Single, are you?
- 00:00:18,810 --> 00:00:20,519 [PHONE RINGS]
- 00:00:20,687 --> 00:00:21,729 Chandler Bing.
- 00:00:21,896 --> 00:00:24,189 JOEY [OVER SPEAKER]: Hey. You're answering your own phone?
- 00:00:24,357 --> 00:00:25,524 Where's your crazy assistant?
- 00:00:29,362 --> 00:00:30,404 What's up, Joe?
- 00:00:30,613 --> 00:00:32,740 Okay, what have we always wanted to do together?
- 00:00:32,991 --> 00:00:36,577 Braid each other's hair and ride horseback on the beach?
- 00:00:36,745 --> 00:00:39,163 No. No. No. When you get home tomorrow night...
- 00:00:39,330 --> 00:00:42,708 ...you and I are gonna be at the Wizards-Knicks game, courtside.
- 00:00:42,917 --> 00:00:44,376 - Courtside? Oh, my God. - Yeah.
- 00:00:44,586 --> 00:00:48,380 Maybe Michael Jordan will dive for the ball and break my jaw with his knee.
- 00:00:48,631 --> 00:00:50,883 That is so cool. I'll let Monica know.
- 00:00:51,134 --> 00:00:52,384 [PHONE RINGS]
- 00:00:54,596 --> 00:00:56,055 - Hello? - Joey just called.
- 00:00:56,222 --> 00:00:59,266 He's got courtside Knicks tickets for him and me tomorrow night.
- 00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:02,853 Really? But tomorrow night's the only night I get off from the restaurant.
- 00:01:03,021 --> 00:01:05,606 If you go, we won't have a night together for another week.
- 00:01:05,774 --> 00:01:10,027 But honey, it's courtside. The cheerleaders are gonna be right in f...
- 00:01:10,653 --> 00:01:13,072 That's not the way to convince you.
- 00:01:13,239 --> 00:01:15,407 Chandler, I don't wanna be one of those wives that says:
- 00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:18,494 "You can't go to the game. You have to spend time with me."
- 00:01:18,661 --> 00:01:21,038 So if you could just realize it on your own...
- 00:01:22,123 --> 00:01:25,250 I know. You're right. I wanna see you too.
- 00:01:25,418 --> 00:01:28,587 I just gotta figure out a way to tell Joey. He's really looking forward to this.
- 00:01:28,755 --> 00:01:31,256 Tell him you haven't seen your wife in a long time.
- 00:01:31,466 --> 00:01:35,302 Tell him that having a long-distance relationship is really difficult.
- 00:01:35,470 --> 00:01:39,598 Tell him that what little time we have together is precious.
- 00:01:40,058 --> 00:01:42,434 Eh, yeah, I'll think of something.
- 00:02:26,771 --> 00:02:30,858 Wow. Heh. Wow, you look, uh...
- 00:02:31,025 --> 00:02:32,568 [ROSS CLEARS THROAT]
- 00:02:32,735 --> 00:02:36,947 I mean, it's just, uh... That dress, uh...
- 00:02:37,365 --> 00:02:40,075 Well, I hope the ends of these sentences are good.
- 00:02:40,243 --> 00:02:43,453 Heh. Oh, they're good. It's just been a while since I've seen you like this.
- 00:02:43,621 --> 00:02:45,622 You clean up good.
- 00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:48,125 Oh, really? Well, thank you.
- 00:02:48,293 --> 00:02:50,002 [RACHEL CHUCKLES]
- 00:02:53,089 --> 00:02:54,965 Okay, stop. Stop looking at me like that.
- 00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:58,051 - Last time that happened, that happened. - Oh, right, right.
- 00:03:03,641 --> 00:03:07,519 So are you excited about your first night away from Emma?
- 00:03:07,687 --> 00:03:10,189 Yeah, yeah. Phoebe and I are gonna have so much fun.
- 00:03:10,356 --> 00:03:13,275 - And thank you for watching the baby. - Oh, it's fine.
- 00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:15,569 Actually, I invited Mike over.
- 00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:16,778 - Phoebe's Mike? - Yeah.
- 00:03:17,071 --> 00:03:19,072 - I didn't know you guys hung out. - We don't...
- 00:03:19,282 --> 00:03:21,200 ...but I thought it'd be nice to get to know him.
- 00:03:21,367 --> 00:03:24,203 Maybe have a little dinner, drinks, conversation.
- 00:03:24,412 --> 00:03:27,122 Oh, that's so cute. Ross and Mike's first date.
- 00:03:29,125 --> 00:03:31,752 Is that gonna be awkward? What are you guys gonna talk about?
- 00:03:31,961 --> 00:03:34,588 I don't know. But you know, we have a lot in common, you know?
- 00:03:34,756 --> 00:03:38,467 Um, he plays piano. I played keyboards in college.
- 00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:43,805 Uh, he's been divorced. I have some experience in that area.
- 00:03:44,891 --> 00:03:45,933 [KNOCK ON DOOR]
- 00:03:46,100 --> 00:03:48,185 RACHEL: Yeah? - Hi.
- 00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:50,354 - Hi. - Hi.
- 00:03:50,521 --> 00:03:54,024 Ooh. Girls' night out indeed.
- 00:03:54,192 --> 00:03:56,652 Okay, so I think Emma is probably down for the night...
- 00:03:56,819 --> 00:03:59,029 ...but if you need anything... - Rach, we'll be fine.
- 00:03:59,197 --> 00:04:01,114 - You go have fun. - Okay, you too.
- 00:04:01,282 --> 00:04:03,659 - Thanks. - And I hope you score.
- 00:04:03,993 --> 00:04:06,411 - Okay. Bye. - Bye.
- 00:04:06,579 --> 00:04:09,164 So, welcome.
- 00:04:09,749 --> 00:04:13,126 - I got beer. - I got bottled breast milk.
- 00:04:14,796 --> 00:04:17,965 - Eh, why don't we start with the beer? - Okay.
- 00:04:21,219 --> 00:04:25,305 So, um, ahem, Phoebe tells me you, uh, play piano.
- 00:04:25,473 --> 00:04:26,556 Yeah.
- 00:04:26,724 --> 00:04:28,850 You know, I used to, uh, play keyboards in college.
- 00:04:29,060 --> 00:04:30,727 Oh. Do you have one here?
- 00:04:32,355 --> 00:04:33,939 No.
- 00:04:34,857 --> 00:04:36,775 Okay. Heh.
- 00:04:42,615 --> 00:04:44,283 MIKE: Ah.
- 00:04:52,834 --> 00:04:57,337 Um, uh, you know, I'm divorced.
- 00:04:57,505 --> 00:05:01,174 Uh, Phoebe... Phoebe says you're... You've been divorced?
- 00:05:01,342 --> 00:05:03,552 Yeah, yeah.
- 00:05:03,761 --> 00:05:06,638 Yeah, I'm sorry. I don't really like to talk about it.
- 00:05:10,018 --> 00:05:13,562 That's okay. We'll talk about something else.
- 00:05:22,405 --> 00:05:24,865 - So you're a paleontologist, right? - Yeah.
- 00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:27,034 - My cousin's a paleontologist. - Ah.
- 00:05:31,831 --> 00:05:35,876 Well, he and I would probably have a lot to talk about.
- 00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:40,964 MONICA: Hi. - Hey.
- 00:05:41,257 --> 00:05:43,633 - Welcome home. - Oh, well, look at you.
- 00:05:43,801 --> 00:05:45,469 Yeah. What do you think?
- 00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:47,888 Well, it looks great. It's just...
- 00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:51,350 Well, I'm wearing the same thing underneath, so...
- 00:05:51,726 --> 00:05:53,685 You see what I mean? Heh.
- 00:05:53,853 --> 00:05:54,936 [THUD]
- 00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:58,648 JOEY: Hey. How come your door's locked?
- 00:05:58,816 --> 00:06:00,776 - Just a second. - No, no, no.
- 00:06:00,943 --> 00:06:02,611 - Joey can't know that I'm here. - Why not?
- 00:06:02,779 --> 00:06:05,197 I didn't know how to tell him I couldn't go to the game...
- 00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:08,575 ...so I told him I had to stay in Tulsa. - So you lied to him?
- 00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:12,579 It's always better to lie than to have the complicated discussion.
- 00:06:14,248 --> 00:06:15,916 Except with you.
- 00:06:17,335 --> 00:06:19,336 JOEY: Hey, open the door. What's going on?
- 00:06:19,504 --> 00:06:20,754 [KNOCKING]
- 00:06:24,550 --> 00:06:26,051 - What are you...? MONICA: Hi.
- 00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:28,220 Why are you dressed like that?
- 00:06:28,554 --> 00:06:29,638 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:32,557 Because, um, well, Chandler's gonna be home in a couple of days...
- 00:06:32,725 --> 00:06:36,561 ...so I thought I would just, um, you know, practice the art of seduction.
- 00:06:36,896 --> 00:06:38,897 I thought I heard a man's voice before.
- 00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:41,817 No, I was just doing Chandler's side of the conversation.
- 00:06:41,984 --> 00:06:44,319 You know, like, "Hi, how do I look?"
- 00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:47,531 [MIMICS CHANDLER] "Really sexy. Could I be any more turned on?"
- 00:06:47,698 --> 00:06:48,782 You know.
- 00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:51,076 Okay. Wait a minute.
- 00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:53,203 Why are there two glasses of wine out?
- 00:06:53,746 --> 00:06:55,747 Because one of them is for you.
- 00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:03,130 Cheers. Okay, bye-bye.
- 00:07:04,799 --> 00:07:09,594 You know, it's funny. I've been, uh, practicing the art of seduction myself.
- 00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:14,433 - You might wanna keep practicing. - Yeah.
- 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:16,309 [PHONE RINGING]
- 00:07:16,477 --> 00:07:19,354 - It's Joey. - What?
- 00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:22,524 - Hey, Joe. - Dude, come home.
- 00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:27,779 - What? Why? - Come home.
- 00:07:27,989 --> 00:07:29,823 Look, I can't. What's going on?
- 00:07:30,032 --> 00:07:33,827 I don't know how to tell you this, but, uh, I think Monica's cheating on you.
- 00:07:33,995 --> 00:07:36,955 I told you you shouldn't have married someone so much hotter than you.
- 00:07:40,209 --> 00:07:42,502 All right, if you can't deal with this, then I'm gonna.
- 00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:45,046 - No. - I just heard him.
- 00:07:46,424 --> 00:07:48,967 Can you hear him now?
- 00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:53,513 No. All right, I'm going in.
- 00:07:53,723 --> 00:07:55,307 - No, wait. - I heard him again.
- 00:07:58,811 --> 00:08:01,062 All right, look, just stay there. I'm coming home.
- 00:08:01,272 --> 00:08:02,772 Okay, I'll see you when you get here.
- 00:08:02,940 --> 00:08:05,192 I'm gonna wait out in the hall in case the dude comes out.
- 00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:08,862 - Is that really necessary? - Absolutely. You'd do it for me.
- 00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:13,658 Not that you ever have to, because I know how to keep my women satisfied.
- 00:08:16,704 --> 00:08:19,581 [BOTTLE TOOTING]
- 00:08:25,296 --> 00:08:27,631 Shouldn't the pizza be here by now?
- 00:08:27,798 --> 00:08:33,428 I mean, they said 30 minutes or less. Well, how long has it been?
- 00:08:34,597 --> 00:08:36,973 Eleven minutes.
- 00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:44,940 And now 12.
- 00:08:48,736 --> 00:08:52,781 - So you like the beer? - I do. I do.
- 00:08:52,949 --> 00:08:56,701 - Although, it's actually a lager. - Huh.
- 00:08:59,747 --> 00:09:01,873 What's the difference between beer and lager?
- 00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:04,626 I don't know.
- 00:09:06,295 --> 00:09:07,546 We could look it up.
- 00:09:09,423 --> 00:09:12,133 Things are about to get wild.
- 00:09:18,182 --> 00:09:20,725 Oh, God, remember the girls' nights we used to have...
- 00:09:20,893 --> 00:09:22,852 ...sitting around talking about you and Ross?
- 00:09:23,020 --> 00:09:25,605 Oh, God. It seems like forever ago.
- 00:09:25,773 --> 00:09:26,815 I know.
- 00:09:27,066 --> 00:09:30,610 Ah. So, what's going on with you and Ross?
- 00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:36,449 Well, um, I don't know. I mean, for a long time, nothing.
- 00:09:36,617 --> 00:09:40,412 But, you know, actually, right before you picked me up...
- 00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:43,123 ...Ross and I had a, uh, little thing.
- 00:09:43,332 --> 00:09:46,293 Oh, my God. I love things. What happened?
- 00:09:46,502 --> 00:09:49,379 Well, um, first he told me he liked how I looked.
- 00:09:49,547 --> 00:09:53,842 - Uh-huh. - And, uh, then we had a little, um...
- 00:09:54,969 --> 00:09:57,220 ...eye contact.
- 00:09:58,639 --> 00:09:59,848 - Eye contact? - Mm-hm.
- 00:10:00,057 --> 00:10:01,808 I hope you were using protection.
- 00:10:03,728 --> 00:10:09,482 Excuse me, um, these are from the two gentlemen at the end of the bar.
- 00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:13,486 Should we send them something back? Ooh, let's send them mashed potatoes.
- 00:10:13,696 --> 00:10:15,030 No, wait. Don't do that.
- 00:10:15,197 --> 00:10:17,198 That's gonna make them think they can come over.
- 00:10:17,408 --> 00:10:18,700 So, what if they do?
- 00:10:18,909 --> 00:10:24,331 We're not here to meet guys. You have a boyfriend. I have a baby and a Ross.
- 00:10:24,582 --> 00:10:29,085 Yeah, but nothing has to happen. We're just having fun.
- 00:10:29,253 --> 00:10:33,298 You know, not everything has to go as far as eye contact.
- 00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:37,969 Chandler, you have to tell Joey that you're not in Tulsa.
- 00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:40,889 Don't you think it's better for him to think you're cheating on me...
- 00:10:41,057 --> 00:10:43,475 ...than for him to think I'm cheating on him?
- 00:10:44,101 --> 00:10:45,894 I heard it.
- 00:10:46,395 --> 00:10:48,855 I don't want him to think that I'm having an affair.
- 00:10:49,607 --> 00:10:52,317 All right, I've got a plan. I'll go down the fire escape...
- 00:10:52,526 --> 00:10:55,695 Because all good plans start with, "I'll go down the fire escape."
- 00:10:55,905 --> 00:10:57,280 Hear me out, woman.
- 00:10:59,075 --> 00:11:01,159 I'll go down the fire escape, then I'll wait.
- 00:11:01,369 --> 00:11:03,870 Then when I come up the stairs it'll be like I just got back.
- 00:11:04,038 --> 00:11:07,040 Then Joey and I will come in and see that there's no guy in here.
- 00:11:07,249 --> 00:11:10,669 Aren't you afraid that Joey's gonna figure all this out?
- 00:11:13,923 --> 00:11:15,465 I heard it.
- 00:11:23,307 --> 00:11:25,350 - I'm just gonna wait. - The scary pigeon's back?
- 00:11:25,559 --> 00:11:27,644 It's huge.
- 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:03,054 Oh, my God. I can't believe you live in that building.
- 00:12:03,222 --> 00:12:04,889 My grandmother lives in that building.
- 00:12:05,057 --> 00:12:07,475 Ida Green? No sense of personal space...
- 00:12:07,643 --> 00:12:10,145 ...kind of smells like chicken, looks like a potato.
- 00:12:10,354 --> 00:12:13,064 - "Spuds" is your grandmother? - That's my bubby.
- 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:18,528 So we're on our way to a couple of parties.
- 00:12:18,696 --> 00:12:22,782 Um, maybe we can get your numbers and call if we find something fun?
- 00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:26,828 Yeah. I'm sorry, we weren't really looking for anything to happen...
- 00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:29,539 ...with you guys. I have a boyfriend.
- 00:12:29,832 --> 00:12:31,875 - All right. - It's no big deal.
- 00:12:33,878 --> 00:12:38,381 So she has a boyfriend. What is your situation?
- 00:12:38,799 --> 00:12:42,343 Oh, well, it's complicated. I don't actually have a boyfriend, but, uh...
- 00:12:42,553 --> 00:12:45,054 Then can I have your number?
- 00:12:45,681 --> 00:12:47,390 I'm sorry, no.
- 00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:48,933 Okay.
- 00:12:49,435 --> 00:12:51,227 Oh, sure.
- 00:12:53,147 --> 00:12:54,856 Oh, my God, you're giving your real number.
- 00:12:58,068 --> 00:13:00,528 Okay, thanks. I'll give you a call later tonight.
- 00:13:00,738 --> 00:13:02,614 - Great. - Bye.
- 00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:04,032 Bye.
- 00:13:04,867 --> 00:13:07,702 Wow. So that's great.
- 00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:11,581 You, Bill, Ross and Emma are gonna be so happy together.
- 00:13:11,749 --> 00:13:13,166 What were you thinking?
- 00:13:13,375 --> 00:13:16,795 I don't know. He was cute and he liked me. It was an impulse.
- 00:13:16,962 --> 00:13:19,214 But what about Ross? What about your moment?
- 00:13:19,381 --> 00:13:21,424 - Don't you wanna talk to Ross about it? - No.
- 00:13:21,592 --> 00:13:24,719 No, because I know exactly how the conversation's gonna go.
- 00:13:24,887 --> 00:13:27,931 "Hey, Ross, you know, I think we had a moment before."
- 00:13:28,098 --> 00:13:31,392 [MIMICS ROSS] "Yeah. Ahem. Me too."
- 00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:34,938 [IN NORMAL VOICE] "Well, but I'm not sure I really want to do anything about it."
- 00:13:35,105 --> 00:13:37,732 [MIMICS ROSS] "Yeah. Ahem. Me neither."
- 00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:40,318 [IN NORMAL VOICE] "Should we just live together...
- 00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:42,445 ...and not tell each other how we're feeling?"
- 00:13:42,613 --> 00:13:44,322 [MIMICS ROSS] "Yeah, that works for me."
- 00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:46,407 [CLEARS THROAT]
- 00:13:47,284 --> 00:13:49,202 Yeah, I see what you mean.
- 00:13:49,370 --> 00:13:52,664 By the way, nice Ross imitation.
- 00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:54,374 But your Rachel wasn't whiny enough.
- 00:13:54,583 --> 00:13:56,042 - What? Hey. - Better.
- 00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:02,674 The point is maybe I should just stop waiting around for moments with Ross.
- 00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:06,052 You know? I should just move on with my life.
- 00:14:06,262 --> 00:14:09,138 So really, you're moving on from Ross?
- 00:14:09,306 --> 00:14:11,641 I don't know. Do I have to decide right now?
- 00:14:11,809 --> 00:14:14,769 You kind of just did. That guy is gonna call you tonight.
- 00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:17,939 Ross is gonna pick up the phone, and that's a pretty clear message.
- 00:14:18,148 --> 00:14:19,858 Oh, my God, Ross.
- 00:14:20,025 --> 00:14:22,151 Ross is gonna pick up the phone.
- 00:14:22,319 --> 00:14:25,363 Oh, I have to get my number back. Oh, my God, he's gone.
- 00:14:25,573 --> 00:14:28,491 [MIMICS RACHEL] "Oh, I have to get my number back. Oh, my God. He's gone."
- 00:14:28,659 --> 00:14:29,909 Dead on.
- 00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:47,927 - You know, I'm gonna take off. - So soon?
- 00:14:48,095 --> 00:14:49,470 - Yeah. - Okay.
- 00:14:49,638 --> 00:14:52,181 Well, thanks, uh... Thanks for the beer.
- 00:14:52,349 --> 00:14:56,019 - You mean lager? - Ah, yeah. Good times.
- 00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:06,070 [PHONE RINGING]
- 00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:11,826 - Hello? - Hey, Mike, it's me.
- 00:15:11,994 --> 00:15:13,912 Listen, is, um... Is Ross near you?
- 00:15:14,121 --> 00:15:15,663 Uh, no, I just left.
- 00:15:15,873 --> 00:15:17,624 Well, you have to go back in.
- 00:15:18,417 --> 00:15:23,046 What? Go back? To the land where time stands still?
- 00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:25,381 I'm so sorry, honey, but...
- 00:15:25,549 --> 00:15:27,550 Okay, Rachel gave this guy her number...
- 00:15:27,718 --> 00:15:30,053 ...and, um, she doesn't want Ross to answer the phone.
- 00:15:30,220 --> 00:15:32,221 So you have to intercept all his calls.
- 00:15:32,806 --> 00:15:33,932 I can't do that.
- 00:15:34,141 --> 00:15:37,143 - He says he can't do that. - Oh, give me the phone.
- 00:15:37,311 --> 00:15:40,980 Hi, Mike. Hi, listen, I know that this is a lot to ask, but you know what?
- 00:15:41,148 --> 00:15:46,527 If you do this, Phoebe will do anything you want.
- 00:15:46,695 --> 00:15:50,907 - Seriously, I'm talking dirty stuff. - All right. Thank you. Hello?
- 00:15:51,075 --> 00:15:54,953 Hi, I'm sorry about her. But actually, she wasn't wrong about the dirty stuff.
- 00:15:56,997 --> 00:15:58,539 All right, I'll do it.
- 00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:03,419 But really, how much dirtier can it get?
- 00:16:04,004 --> 00:16:06,756 Oh, Mike.
- 00:16:07,758 --> 00:16:09,467 Bye.
- 00:16:10,260 --> 00:16:11,636 [KNOCK ON DOOR]
- 00:16:14,014 --> 00:16:15,807 Hey, buddy.
- 00:16:17,101 --> 00:16:19,394 Uh, hi.
- 00:16:19,561 --> 00:16:23,106 - Um, can I come back in? - Why?
- 00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:30,154 Well, I was just thinking about how much more we have to talk about.
- 00:16:30,698 --> 00:16:33,032 But you left.
- 00:16:38,205 --> 00:16:39,831 Wow, that didn't take long.
- 00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:43,001 I thought you said Tulsa was like a three-hour flight?
- 00:16:44,461 --> 00:16:48,172 Well, you're forgetting about the time difference.
- 00:16:56,348 --> 00:16:57,849 JOEY: Yeah.
- 00:16:58,642 --> 00:16:59,684 [MONICA GASPS]
- 00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:00,893 Chandler, you're home.
- 00:17:01,061 --> 00:17:05,523 That's right. Your husband's home. So now the sex can stop.
- 00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:11,988 What are you saying?
- 00:17:12,197 --> 00:17:14,032 Joey said you're in here with another man.
- 00:17:14,241 --> 00:17:17,994 There's no man in here. How dare you accuse me of that.
- 00:17:20,372 --> 00:17:21,414 All right. All right.
- 00:17:21,582 --> 00:17:26,169 Then maybe you won't mind if me and my friend take a look around, huh?
- 00:17:27,671 --> 00:17:29,338 [BANGING]
- 00:17:29,506 --> 00:17:30,548 What's he doing?
- 00:17:30,758 --> 00:17:33,051 I arranged some pillows on the bed to look like a guy.
- 00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:40,308 Bedroom's clear. Although you might need some new pillows.
- 00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:44,103 All right, well, I'll check the guest room.
- 00:17:44,646 --> 00:17:47,106 [SNIFFING]
- 00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:53,988 Why do I smell men's cologne?
- 00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:58,367 I think that's you.
- 00:18:00,871 --> 00:18:04,540 Oh, yeah. I rubbed a magazine on myself earlier.
- 00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:07,752 There's nobody here, Joe.
- 00:18:08,545 --> 00:18:09,587 I guess not.
- 00:18:09,963 --> 00:18:14,383 I can't believe you thought I was cheating. You owe me an apology.
- 00:18:14,843 --> 00:18:17,512 - You're right, Monica. I'm so sorry. - It's an honest mistake.
- 00:18:17,679 --> 00:18:19,806 It could happen to anybody. All right, see you.
- 00:18:19,973 --> 00:18:22,391 JOEY: Wait a minute, wait a minute.
- 00:18:22,559 --> 00:18:26,729 If you just got back from Tulsa, how did your suitcase beat you here?
- 00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:33,778 I climbed down the fire escape, and you can't put that in the closet?
- 00:18:37,866 --> 00:18:40,660 So with the exception of the fermentation process...
- 00:18:40,828 --> 00:18:44,247 ...beer and ale are basically the same thing.
- 00:18:45,207 --> 00:18:47,458 Fascinating, isn't it?
- 00:18:48,001 --> 00:18:51,462 Maybe you should look up "fascinating."
- 00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:52,839 [PHONE RINGING]
- 00:18:53,006 --> 00:18:54,674 I'll get it.
- 00:18:59,763 --> 00:19:03,766 Hello? Ross' place. Mike speaking.
- 00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:07,061 It's for you.
- 00:19:11,066 --> 00:19:14,318 I don't understand what just happened here.
- 00:19:16,697 --> 00:19:18,406 What's going on?
- 00:19:18,574 --> 00:19:19,699 I'm sorry.
- 00:19:19,867 --> 00:19:23,995 I told you I was in Tulsa because I wanted to spend the night with Monica...
- 00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:27,999 ...and I didn't know... I didn't think you'd understand.
- 00:19:28,292 --> 00:19:32,879 You think I'm too dumb to understand a husband needs to be with his wife? Huh?
- 00:19:33,046 --> 00:19:36,174 You think I'm, like, duh.
- 00:19:38,594 --> 00:19:41,304 - Joey? - Yeah.
- 00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:44,849 I don't know what to say. We shouldn't have lied to you.
- 00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:48,311 Yeah, I feel so bad. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?
- 00:19:50,772 --> 00:19:54,150 Yeah, you could go to the game with me. Even though you said you couldn't.
- 00:19:54,318 --> 00:19:58,779 But then you lied to me and tricked me and gave me a bump on the head.
- 00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:02,867 I'm sorry, that's the one thing I can't do. I promised I'd be with Monica.
- 00:20:03,493 --> 00:20:04,785 All right.
- 00:20:05,537 --> 00:20:07,330 - You can go. - What?
- 00:20:07,497 --> 00:20:10,333 You should go to the game. It's okay. I want you to.
- 00:20:10,792 --> 00:20:13,461 - Really? You gonna be okay? - Yeah, I'll be fine.
- 00:20:13,795 --> 00:20:17,465 You know, maybe I'll stay here and practice the art of seduction.
- 00:20:17,716 --> 00:20:22,261 - You're gonna put sweats on and clean. - It's gonna be so hot.
- 00:20:22,679 --> 00:20:23,888 - Bye. - Bye.
- 00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:25,223 Thanks.
- 00:20:26,141 --> 00:20:27,558 Here's your ticket.
- 00:20:27,726 --> 00:20:29,936 Thanks. Hey, listen...
- 00:20:30,103 --> 00:20:32,730 ...I'm never gonna lie to you again, okay?
- 00:20:32,940 --> 00:20:36,192 And I want you to know that nobody thinks you're stupid.
- 00:20:36,860 --> 00:20:38,069 Thanks, man.
- 00:20:41,365 --> 00:20:44,700 - Where you going? - Game's tomorrow night, Joe.
- 00:20:49,539 --> 00:20:51,332 - Hi. - Hi.
- 00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:54,335 MIKE: Oh, God. So glad you're back.
- 00:20:54,503 --> 00:20:56,212 [ALL CHUCKLING]
- 00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:58,714 So, what did you guys do?
- 00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:01,717 Oh, you know, we just drank some beer.
- 00:21:01,885 --> 00:21:04,595 Mike played with the boundaries of normal social conduct.
- 00:21:04,805 --> 00:21:05,846 [MIKE CHUCKLES]
- 00:21:06,014 --> 00:21:08,683 It's true, I did.
- 00:21:09,559 --> 00:21:10,601 - Well, goodbye. - Okay.
- 00:21:10,811 --> 00:21:13,396 - Bye. That was fun, Pheebs. - I know. It was fun.
- 00:21:13,563 --> 00:21:15,356 See you, guys.
- 00:21:15,524 --> 00:21:17,733 Rachel, lock the door. Lock the door, seriously.
- 00:21:19,403 --> 00:21:22,071 Oh, shoot, I forgot to pay Phoebe for the drinks.
- 00:21:24,116 --> 00:21:27,493 Wait, wait. Wait, sorry. Did he call? Did that guy call?
- 00:21:27,661 --> 00:21:29,161 No, just his mom.
- 00:21:29,371 --> 00:21:30,579 Oh. Around 8:30?
- 00:21:30,789 --> 00:21:32,373 - Yeah. - Then again at 9:00?
- 00:21:32,582 --> 00:21:34,792 - Uh-huh. - Yeah.
- 00:21:35,043 --> 00:21:36,419 [PHONE RINGING]
- 00:21:40,257 --> 00:21:42,008 Hello?
- 00:21:42,676 --> 00:21:46,012 Uh, no, she's not here right now. Can I take a message?
- 00:21:46,847 --> 00:21:49,432 Bill from the bar?
- 00:21:51,018 --> 00:21:56,022 Okay, Bill from the bar, I'll make sure she gets your number.
- 00:22:02,362 --> 00:22:03,696 [DOOR OPENS]
- 00:22:04,239 --> 00:22:05,781 Ah.
- 00:22:07,576 --> 00:22:09,910 So, uh... So how was it?
- 00:22:10,078 --> 00:22:12,204 Did you guys...? You guys have a good time?
- 00:22:12,372 --> 00:22:16,876 We had so much fun. It felt so good to be out.
- 00:22:19,671 --> 00:22:21,297 Uh, Rach?
- 00:22:21,465 --> 00:22:23,215 Yeah?
- 00:22:26,345 --> 00:22:27,511 Never mind.
- 00:22:35,854 --> 00:22:36,896 - Hey, you guys. PHOEBE: Hey.
- 00:22:37,064 --> 00:22:38,481 MIKE: Hey.
- 00:22:38,648 --> 00:22:42,193 I'll be right back. I gotta go to the bathroom.
- 00:22:56,792 --> 00:22:59,168 Stout. That's a kind of beer.
- 00:23:07,052 --> 00:23:09,053 [English - US - SDH]
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