Эпизод с няней мужского пола
Описание
Росс и Рэйчел нанимают Сэнди (Фредди Принц младший), няню-мужчину. Хотя Сэнди утверждает, что он гетеросексуал, Росс находит его немного женственным и ему не нравится его влияние не только на Рэйчел, но и на Джои. Узнав, что Сэнди играет на блокфлейте, умеет печь и устраивает кукольные представления, Росс увольняет его. Сэнди не расстраивается и вместо этого утешает Росса, рассказывая о своём детстве, связанном с неприятными воспоминаниями об отце Джеке. Чендлер, находясь в Талсе, приходит в ужас, когда Моника говорит ему, что мужчина в её ресторане по имени Джеффри — самый смешной человек, которого она когда-либо встречала. Потрясённый, он возвращается в Манхэттен и отчаянно пытается рассмешить Монику, но безуспешно. После разговора с Джои, Чендлер не ожидал, что Джои расскажет об этом Монике и Россу. Трое пытаются его утешить, и Моника даже лжёт, говоря, что Джеффри отпустил очень сексистскую шутку, хотя на самом деле Джеффри всех очень сильно рассмешил. Тем временем Фиби и Майк обмениваются ключами, что способствует развитию их отношений. Бывший парень Фиби, Дэвид (Хэнк Азария), возвращается в Нью-Йорк на встречу и приходит к ней домой. Разговор между ними переходит в романтическую плоскость, когда Фиби колеблется, прежде чем сказать, что она сейчас в отношениях. Затем, после разговора с Моникой, Фиби признаётся Дэвиду, что встречается с Майком, и он соглашается не возобновлять их отношения, но в итоге они целуются, прежде чем Майк входит в её дом. Сначала шокированный, Майк прощает Фиби, когда она рассказывает ему всю историю, и Дэвид уходит. Примечание: Это самый длинный эпизод «Друзей» (за исключением двухсерийных), его продолжительность составляет 31:56. Это также 200-й эпизод. Специальные гости: Хэнк Азария в роли Дэвида и Пол Радд в роли Майка
Субтитры
- 00:00:07,590 --> 00:00:10,592 [PHONE RINGING]
- 00:00:13,722 --> 00:00:15,097 [HOARSE] Hello.
- 00:00:15,557 --> 00:00:17,975 [COUGHS]
- 00:00:18,143 --> 00:00:19,476 Hello.
- 00:00:19,936 --> 00:00:21,270 I love my new job!
- 00:00:21,563 --> 00:00:24,273 - Honey, you're screaming. - You bet your ass I am.
- 00:00:24,441 --> 00:00:26,400 I just had the best first day ever.
- 00:00:26,568 --> 00:00:28,736 The kitchen? Twice as big as Allessandro's.
- 00:00:28,945 --> 00:00:30,738 - Oh, that's great. MONICA: Yeah.
- 00:00:30,989 --> 00:00:35,200 And clean? Not just Health Department-clean, Monica-clean.
- 00:00:35,910 --> 00:00:36,952 Awesome.
- 00:00:37,328 --> 00:00:39,288 Oh, and the people are so nice.
- 00:00:39,456 --> 00:00:41,957 There's this one guy, Jeffrey, he's the maître d'.
- 00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:44,293 Chandler, you will love him.
- 00:00:44,461 --> 00:00:47,254 He is without a doubt the funniest guy I have ever met.
- 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:45,229 - This is nice. - I know.
- 00:01:54,322 --> 00:01:57,116 - You need both hands for that? - Yeah, I kind of do.
- 00:01:57,283 --> 00:01:59,326 Well, how's this?
- 00:02:13,049 --> 00:02:16,718 Oh, look at you two holding hands.
- 00:02:17,095 --> 00:02:18,971 Is this getting serious?
- 00:02:19,305 --> 00:02:20,681 Well, I, you know...
- 00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:22,975 Have you not talked about it yet?
- 00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:26,728 Am I making you uncomfortable?
- 00:02:28,690 --> 00:02:30,899 If you were bigger you'd hit me, huh?
- 00:02:35,947 --> 00:02:37,030 I'm sorry, heh.
- 00:02:37,198 --> 00:02:41,118 It's obviously way too early for us to be having that conversation.
- 00:02:41,369 --> 00:02:43,203 - Is it? - Maybe not. Is it?
- 00:02:43,371 --> 00:02:45,205 Okay, when I got divorced...
- 00:02:45,373 --> 00:02:48,876 ...I didn't think I'd feel this way about someone for a really long time.
- 00:02:49,043 --> 00:02:51,879 Then again, I didn't think I'd meet someone like you.
- 00:02:52,046 --> 00:02:56,258 And this may be crazy-soon, but I want you to have this.
- 00:02:57,802 --> 00:03:00,262 - No, not... That's gum. - Oh.
- 00:03:02,056 --> 00:03:04,850 Oh, five bucks. I love it when that happens, you know?
- 00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:07,477 - You don't know it's there... - I know. Keep digging.
- 00:03:07,770 --> 00:03:08,979 Oh, sorry.
- 00:03:12,609 --> 00:03:14,568 Oh. It's a key.
- 00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:18,113 To be honest, I think I'd prefer the five dollars.
- 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:21,700 - It's to my apartment. - Oh, wow.
- 00:03:21,951 --> 00:03:24,369 Ooh. Big step for Phoebe and Mike.
- 00:03:24,537 --> 00:03:27,748 Look, I don't want you to feel like you have to give me your key...
- 00:03:28,124 --> 00:03:30,667 - No, I want to. - Oh, thank God.
- 00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:32,961 Yeah.
- 00:03:33,129 --> 00:03:36,089 Wow. I was starting to think I'd never meet someone that...
- 00:03:36,257 --> 00:03:38,717 ...you know, I wanted to do this with.
- 00:03:39,677 --> 00:03:41,303 Here you go.
- 00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:45,182 - This is cool, huh? - It really is.
- 00:03:45,433 --> 00:03:51,063 Oh, I know it. It is amazing. These little things open doors.
- 00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:57,027 So I don't go back to work for another four weeks...
- 00:03:57,195 --> 00:03:59,238 ...but we would like our nanny to start right away...
- 00:03:59,405 --> 00:04:01,240 ...so that Emma could get a chance to know her.
- 00:04:01,616 --> 00:04:03,575 I think that's really smart.
- 00:04:03,743 --> 00:04:06,119 The easier we can make the transition for her the better.
- 00:04:06,287 --> 00:04:07,329 That's great. Great.
- 00:04:07,497 --> 00:04:09,873 - So do you have any questions for us? - Not really.
- 00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:12,376 All right. Well, thank you so much for coming.
- 00:04:12,543 --> 00:04:15,128 ROSS: Thank you. - It was really nice to meet you.
- 00:04:15,296 --> 00:04:17,798 - We will call you. - Oh, you know, wait.
- 00:04:17,966 --> 00:04:19,675 - I do have one question. RACHEL: Yeah.
- 00:04:19,842 --> 00:04:22,803 Do you guys do random drug testing?
- 00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:27,808 Boy, we, uh, hadn't really thought of that.
- 00:04:27,976 --> 00:04:31,937 That's cool. But if you do, I'm gonna need three days' notice.
- 00:04:32,188 --> 00:04:33,563 Okey-dokey.
- 00:04:34,565 --> 00:04:36,817 Wow. We're never gonna find a nanny.
- 00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:40,529 Come on, Rach. We will. I promise. We have more interviews.
- 00:04:40,697 --> 00:04:44,825 And worse comes to worst, we can always reconsider the, uh, first one we met with.
- 00:04:45,076 --> 00:04:48,787 - What, the blond with no bra? - She was blond?
- 00:04:49,914 --> 00:04:51,206 [KNOCK ON DOOR]
- 00:04:51,374 --> 00:04:52,416 Just a sec.
- 00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:55,794 - Okay, this one's name is Sandy. - Okay.
- 00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:59,214 She's got a degree in Early Childhood Education.
- 00:04:59,757 --> 00:05:03,218 Uh, she worked for her last family for three years.
- 00:05:03,386 --> 00:05:04,761 Okay.
- 00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:09,099 Hi. I'm Sandy.
- 00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:14,980 And she's a little mannish.
- 00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:19,693 [KNOCK ON DOOR]
- 00:05:21,362 --> 00:05:25,073 - Ah! Oh, my God. David. - Hi.
- 00:05:25,241 --> 00:05:29,536 - Uh, is this a bad time? - No, it's a great time. Come in.
- 00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:31,830 Wow. Hi.
- 00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:35,208 Oh, my gosh. What are you doing here? Are you back from Minsk?
- 00:05:35,376 --> 00:05:37,044 Well, just for a couple of days.
- 00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:39,796 I'm here to explain to the people who gave us our grant...
- 00:05:39,964 --> 00:05:42,758 ...why it's a positive thing that we've spent all their money...
- 00:05:42,925 --> 00:05:46,219 ...and, uh, accomplished, uh, nothing.
- 00:05:46,763 --> 00:05:48,722 Who cares? It got you here.
- 00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:52,059 Well, it got me to New York anyway. Then I got in a cab at the airport...
- 00:05:52,226 --> 00:05:53,894 ...and the guy said, "Where to?"
- 00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:57,856 I just gave him your address. I didn't even think about it.
- 00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:01,360 Wow. Where's your luggage?
- 00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:04,821 Damn it.
- 00:06:06,407 --> 00:06:08,408 All right, I'll call the cab company.
- 00:06:08,618 --> 00:06:12,662 We can call them later. Can you just stand there for a moment?
- 00:06:12,830 --> 00:06:14,456 [BOTH CHUCKLE]
- 00:06:15,124 --> 00:06:16,291 Boy.
- 00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:19,294 There's an old Russian expression, um, that goes:
- 00:06:19,462 --> 00:06:22,964 [SPEAKS IN RUSSIAN]
- 00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:25,467 Roughly translated, that means, um:
- 00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:28,887 "This thing that I'm looking at: Wow."
- 00:06:31,099 --> 00:06:32,432 Thank you.
- 00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:36,186 Uh, no, you should see me when... Actually, no, I look pretty good.
- 00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:38,772 Are you kidding?
- 00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:41,233 You know, when you don't see someone for a long time...
- 00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:43,985 ...and you kind of build them up in your head, you start thinking:
- 00:06:44,153 --> 00:06:47,155 "Come on, don't be crazy, nobody's that beautiful."
- 00:06:47,323 --> 00:06:49,825 But, well, you are.
- 00:06:51,744 --> 00:06:54,788 Well, so, um, are you seeing anyone?
- 00:06:56,374 --> 00:06:57,874 No.
- 00:06:59,335 --> 00:07:01,586 I'm just the worst person ever.
- 00:07:01,838 --> 00:07:04,339 How can I not tell David that I'm seeing Mike?
- 00:07:04,549 --> 00:07:06,133 Maybe he didn't give you a chance.
- 00:07:06,467 --> 00:07:09,761 He said, "Are you seeing someone?" And I said, "No."
- 00:07:11,013 --> 00:07:13,723 - Oh, well, that would've been your window. - Yeah.
- 00:07:14,225 --> 00:07:17,644 I mean, I don't know. I was looking in his eyes...
- 00:07:17,812 --> 00:07:21,398 ...and I was just thinking, "Oh, my God, it's David. David's here."
- 00:07:21,566 --> 00:07:23,984 He's just so irresistible.
- 00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:27,487 - Really? The scientist guy? - Really? Chandler?
- 00:07:33,911 --> 00:07:35,662 Continue.
- 00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:37,998 Okay, then it gets worse...
- 00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:40,250 ...because I told him I would see him tomorrow night.
- 00:07:40,626 --> 00:07:43,879 - Phoebe. - I know. Evil.
- 00:07:44,714 --> 00:07:45,964 And, and, and, and...
- 00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:51,553 I like Mike so much, you know? It's just going really well. Oh, my God.
- 00:07:51,971 --> 00:07:54,097 Wow, isn't it ironic that David would show up...
- 00:07:54,265 --> 00:07:56,766 ...on the same day that you and Mike exchange keys?
- 00:07:57,059 --> 00:07:59,227 Uh-huh.
- 00:07:59,437 --> 00:08:02,647 Yeah. You know, and given my lifelong search for irony...
- 00:08:02,815 --> 00:08:04,858 ...you can imagine how happy I am.
- 00:08:06,944 --> 00:08:10,447 - What are you gonna do? - I mean, I guess I just have to...
- 00:08:10,615 --> 00:08:14,117 ...tell David that nothing can happen between us.
- 00:08:14,368 --> 00:08:16,578 Unless I don't.
- 00:08:16,746 --> 00:08:18,747 You know, complicated moral situation?
- 00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:21,583 - No right, no wrong? - You have to tell David.
- 00:08:21,792 --> 00:08:25,545 I knew I should've had this conversation with Joey.
- 00:08:28,090 --> 00:08:30,717 Funniest guy she's ever met.
- 00:08:30,885 --> 00:08:32,969 I'm funny, right?
- 00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:35,680 What do you know? You're a door.
- 00:08:35,848 --> 00:08:38,600 You just like knock-knock jokes.
- 00:08:41,229 --> 00:08:43,688 Save it for inside.
- 00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:46,525 - Hey. - Hey.
- 00:08:46,817 --> 00:08:51,488 So Oklahoma's a crazy place. You know, they call it the Sooner State.
- 00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:54,115 Frankly, I'd sooner be in any other state.
- 00:08:56,244 --> 00:08:58,703 And what's with Oklahoma having a panhandle?
- 00:08:58,871 --> 00:09:00,580 Can all states have stuff like that?
- 00:09:00,748 --> 00:09:04,125 Hey, yeah, I'm from the, uh, waistband of Wyoming.
- 00:09:04,335 --> 00:09:08,380 But when I was 7, we headed over to the crotch.
- 00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:11,716 Was your cabin pressurized?
- 00:09:13,094 --> 00:09:16,137 And don't get me started on the way the people from Tulsa talk.
- 00:09:16,931 --> 00:09:18,098 Okay.
- 00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:24,145 What's with the word "y'all"? You know, just two words just pushed together?
- 00:09:24,313 --> 00:09:27,566 Are we all allowed to do that? Because if so, I say why stop there?
- 00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:31,403 You know, your new poodle could be your noodle.
- 00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:34,281 And fried chicken could be fricken.
- 00:09:34,991 --> 00:09:37,367 Waiter? Waiter, excuse me, I'll have the fricken.
- 00:09:40,371 --> 00:09:42,038 See, that's funny with the fricken, right?
- 00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:46,876 No, it just reminds me of something this guy did today at work.
- 00:09:47,044 --> 00:09:49,546 I told you about that funny guy, Jeffrey, right?
- 00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:51,131 Yeah, he came up.
- 00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:56,303 Well, he did this bit. You probably had to be there...
- 00:09:56,470 --> 00:10:01,141 ...but it was Liza Minnelli locked in our freezer eating a raw chicken.
- 00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:02,851 Oh, ha, ha.
- 00:10:06,063 --> 00:10:09,482 - Were you there? - No, but it sounds fricken funny.
- 00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:16,448 I really understand how hard it's gotta be to leave your child with another person.
- 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:19,909 I mean, it's like leaving behind a piece of your heart.
- 00:10:20,202 --> 00:10:24,247 Sandy, that's exactly what it is.
- 00:10:25,666 --> 00:10:29,252 - Are you gay? - Ross.
- 00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:31,588 It's okay. I get that a lot doing what I do.
- 00:10:31,756 --> 00:10:34,716 - But I am straight. I'm engaged, actually. - Oh.
- 00:10:34,884 --> 00:10:37,385 - Her name's Delia. - That's pretty.
- 00:10:38,596 --> 00:10:43,516 So you're just, like, a guy who's a nanny.
- 00:10:45,686 --> 00:10:49,022 I realize how it's a bit unorthodox for some people.
- 00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:53,234 But I really believe the most satisfying thing you can do with your life...
- 00:10:53,402 --> 00:10:54,903 ...is take care of a child.
- 00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:56,988 Okay.
- 00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:01,034 Like at my last job.
- 00:11:01,202 --> 00:11:03,328 I met Daniel when he was 3 weeks old.
- 00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:07,123 And I got to watch him grow into this awesome person.
- 00:11:07,291 --> 00:11:10,418 When I left, I said, "I'll see you soon."
- 00:11:10,586 --> 00:11:13,630 And he said to me, "Skadandy?"
- 00:11:15,466 --> 00:11:18,051 - That was his name for me. - Oh, ha, ha.
- 00:11:18,219 --> 00:11:22,472 "I'll see you every day right in..."
- 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:24,557 [SOBBING]
- 00:11:28,771 --> 00:11:32,732 - It's okay. - Yeah, kids say all kinds of crap.
- 00:11:35,861 --> 00:11:36,903 [EMMA CRYING]
- 00:11:37,196 --> 00:11:39,447 Oh, God, she must need her diaper changed.
- 00:11:39,615 --> 00:11:44,327 - I can take care of that, if you want. - Oh, that would be great.
- 00:11:46,831 --> 00:11:49,999 I love him, I love him, I love him.
- 00:11:50,167 --> 00:11:52,252 Oh, come on. Rach, he's a guy.
- 00:11:52,628 --> 00:11:54,713 So what? He's smart. He's qualified.
- 00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:57,048 Give me one good reason we shouldn't try him out.
- 00:11:57,341 --> 00:12:00,719 Because it's weird.
- 00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:02,345 Why?
- 00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:05,014 What kind of a job is that for a man? A nanny?
- 00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:08,268 I mean, it's like if a woman wanted to be...
- 00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:09,728 Yes?
- 00:12:11,647 --> 00:12:13,481 King?
- 00:12:15,359 --> 00:12:18,903 I, uh, hope you don't mind. I used some of my homemade lotion on Emma.
- 00:12:19,071 --> 00:12:23,199 It's a mixture of calendula and honey cream. It'll dry that rash right up.
- 00:12:23,367 --> 00:12:26,494 Plus, it keeps the hands young.
- 00:12:33,294 --> 00:12:35,420 Yes. Sandy, you're hired.
- 00:12:35,796 --> 00:12:37,672 That's great.
- 00:12:41,552 --> 00:12:42,635 I'm sorry.
- 00:12:42,803 --> 00:12:46,264 It's just such an emotional thing when you're welcomed into a new family.
- 00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:47,766 Oh, God. Come here.
- 00:12:51,812 --> 00:12:53,813 You gotta be at least bi.
- 00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:03,531 Hey.
- 00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:14,083 I need you to set me up for a joke.
- 00:13:14,251 --> 00:13:16,711 When Monica's around, ask me about fire trucks.
- 00:13:16,921 --> 00:13:21,883 Ooh, I don't know, Chandler. I'm not so good with remembering lines.
- 00:13:24,303 --> 00:13:26,846 Well, thank God your livelihood doesn't depend on it.
- 00:13:27,014 --> 00:13:28,848 I know, right?
- 00:13:29,850 --> 00:13:31,351 Why are we doing this?
- 00:13:31,602 --> 00:13:35,146 Monica says that her maître d' is the funniest guy she's ever met.
- 00:13:35,314 --> 00:13:39,317 - Seriously? She actually said that? - Yes. Am I crazy to be this upset?
- 00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:42,529 - No. Being funny's your thing. - Yeah.
- 00:13:42,696 --> 00:13:45,198 Without that, you just got "lame with women."
- 00:13:47,159 --> 00:13:48,326 Hi. There you are.
- 00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:49,744 Fire trucks.
- 00:13:53,415 --> 00:13:54,624 [INAUDIBLE]
- 00:14:00,881 --> 00:14:04,968 Wow. You look even more beautiful than you did yesterday.
- 00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:09,222 - Ooh. - In fact, I'm going to kiss you now.
- 00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:12,350 - Oh, wait, wait. - Yeah, I can't get away with stuff like that.
- 00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:15,520 It sounded sexy in my head, so I...
- 00:14:15,771 --> 00:14:17,897 No, no, it's not that.
- 00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:19,357 [PHOEBE CLEARS THROAT]
- 00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:23,319 Remember when you asked me if I was seeing someone and I said no?
- 00:14:23,487 --> 00:14:29,993 - Well, um, I am. His name's Mike. - Oh. Oh.
- 00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:33,371 - I should've told you. - No.
- 00:14:34,123 --> 00:14:36,165 - Well, yeah. - Yeah.
- 00:14:36,792 --> 00:14:42,046 - I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - Well, it's okay. I understand.
- 00:14:42,965 --> 00:14:44,757 Well, are you happy with this guy?
- 00:14:45,092 --> 00:14:47,051 - I am happy. - Damn it.
- 00:14:47,761 --> 00:14:50,680 I'm sorry. I don't mean that. I want you to be happy.
- 00:14:50,848 --> 00:14:54,142 But only with me. No, that's not fair. Who cares. Leave him.
- 00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:57,687 I don't mean that. Yes, I do. I'm sorry. Um...
- 00:14:57,855 --> 00:15:02,108 - I think I should probably, uh, go. - Well...
- 00:15:02,526 --> 00:15:06,321 But, David, I just want you to know that, you know...
- 00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:11,075 ...telling you this is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.
- 00:15:11,410 --> 00:15:13,995 Well, just so you know...
- 00:15:14,163 --> 00:15:17,290 ...hearing it wasn't exactly a Vladnik carnival, either.
- 00:15:19,376 --> 00:15:23,796 - Can we at least hug goodbye? - Of course. Yeah.
- 00:15:31,138 --> 00:15:34,849 You know, and a kiss on the cheek wouldn't be totally inappropriate.
- 00:15:35,017 --> 00:15:37,810 - No. No. - I mean...
- 00:15:40,856 --> 00:15:42,190 - In Minsk? - Yeah?
- 00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:44,984 - It's, um, two on each cheek... - Mm-hm.
- 00:15:45,152 --> 00:15:48,821 ...and, uh, one on the lips. - Well, if that's what they do in Minsk...
- 00:15:55,663 --> 00:15:57,997 In New York, it's...
- 00:16:06,715 --> 00:16:08,257 RACHEL: Oh, boy.
- 00:16:10,552 --> 00:16:11,719 Hi.
- 00:16:13,138 --> 00:16:14,180 Is everything all right?
- 00:16:14,431 --> 00:16:16,557 Oh, yeah. No, it's fine. It's fine.
- 00:16:16,725 --> 00:16:20,561 Sandy was just telling me about how he proposed to his fiancée...
- 00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:22,605 ...and it was so beautiful.
- 00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:26,025 Well, her favorite flower is the camellia. From the poem...
- 00:16:26,318 --> 00:16:27,777 I can't hear it again.
- 00:16:27,945 --> 00:16:30,947 You know, I can't tell it again.
- 00:16:31,490 --> 00:16:33,491 And I'm fine never having heard it.
- 00:16:35,619 --> 00:16:40,331 - Rach, can I see you for a sec? - Yeah. Excuse me.
- 00:16:43,419 --> 00:16:48,965 Do you realize that man has cried in our apartment three times? Huh?
- 00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:52,176 I haven't cried that many times since I moved in.
- 00:16:52,428 --> 00:16:55,722 Look, Ross, Sandy's just sensitive. That's all.
- 00:16:55,889 --> 00:17:00,309 Okay, okay. See, that is the problem. He is too sensitive.
- 00:17:00,561 --> 00:17:02,437 Too sensitive to take care of our baby?
- 00:17:02,646 --> 00:17:05,940 No, I mean, all I'm saying is that guy... These are amazing.
- 00:17:07,067 --> 00:17:09,027 Sandy made madeleines.
- 00:17:09,278 --> 00:17:12,488 This is exactly what I'm talking about.
- 00:17:14,116 --> 00:17:18,202 What kind of a guy makes delicate French cookies? Huh?
- 00:17:18,370 --> 00:17:21,831 They're not even butch, manly cookies with...
- 00:17:21,999 --> 00:17:25,126 You know, with chunks.
- 00:17:28,672 --> 00:17:31,424 Well, you know, I don't know what to say.
- 00:17:31,592 --> 00:17:35,511 I mean, I never thought of you as a guy who needed his men to be men.
- 00:17:35,679 --> 00:17:39,140 I gotta tell you, Ross, it's not like you just came in from branding cattle.
- 00:17:44,521 --> 00:17:48,399 Hey, there's sensitive and there's too sensitive.
- 00:17:48,650 --> 00:17:51,444 Okay, what is too sensitive?
- 00:17:51,653 --> 00:17:54,447 [RECORDER MUSIC PLAYING]
- 00:18:16,595 --> 00:18:19,263 No, I can't. I can't do this. It's bad.
- 00:18:19,848 --> 00:18:24,185 - But it's nice. And nice is good. - Mm-hm.
- 00:18:24,353 --> 00:18:27,939 And good is not bad. Ergo, we should keep kissing.
- 00:18:28,315 --> 00:18:30,650 - No, no. No. - But...
- 00:18:31,568 --> 00:18:33,236 Ergo.
- 00:18:34,696 --> 00:18:37,657 Look, David, if you had never left, then...
- 00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:40,576 ...yeah, we'd probably still be together right now.
- 00:18:40,744 --> 00:18:47,208 But you did leave. And I'm with Mike, and I really care about him.
- 00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:54,298 Well, um, goodbye. Uh...
- 00:18:54,466 --> 00:18:58,302 [SPEAKS IN RUSSIAN]
- 00:18:59,221 --> 00:19:00,596 [DOOR OPENS]
- 00:19:00,764 --> 00:19:03,015 Well, the key works.
- 00:19:04,601 --> 00:19:07,520 And, you, thanks for the face massage. Thank you.
- 00:19:10,941 --> 00:19:13,651 Did Rachel tell you we hired a male nanny?
- 00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:15,945 - Yeah. I think that's great. - Oh, really?
- 00:19:16,321 --> 00:19:21,784 Did she tell you he plays the recorder, recites poetry and bakes madeleines?
- 00:19:23,328 --> 00:19:28,249 - Oh. How are they? - Lighter than air, but that's not the point.
- 00:19:29,877 --> 00:19:31,544 - Hey. - Hey.
- 00:19:31,712 --> 00:19:33,963 Rachel and I hired a male nanny.
- 00:19:34,923 --> 00:19:36,382 Really?
- 00:19:36,550 --> 00:19:38,634 Guys do that?
- 00:19:38,802 --> 00:19:40,845 - That's weird. - Thank you.
- 00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:43,681 - That's like a woman wanting to be a... - What?
- 00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:47,435 - What's the end of that sentence? - Yes. What is the end of that sentence?
- 00:19:47,895 --> 00:19:50,062 Uh...
- 00:19:50,689 --> 00:19:52,523 A penis model.
- 00:19:58,113 --> 00:20:01,032 Anyway, hey, did you tell Chandler that some guy from work...
- 00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,075 ...is the funniest guy you ever met?
- 00:20:03,243 --> 00:20:06,412 - Yeah. So? - Wow.
- 00:20:07,164 --> 00:20:09,540 Really? Do you not know Chandler?
- 00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:15,963 Is that why he's acting so weird? He's jealous?
- 00:20:16,131 --> 00:20:17,298 Oh, my God, that is crazy.
- 00:20:17,466 --> 00:20:19,884 - It's not like I'm attracted to Jeffrey. JOEY: So what?
- 00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:24,931 Being funny is Chandler's thing. You know, like Ross' thing is...
- 00:20:29,645 --> 00:20:31,729 Science?
- 00:20:31,980 --> 00:20:37,235 - Academia? Being a good father? - No.
- 00:20:39,613 --> 00:20:43,324 - I can't believe he's that upset about this. - You have to do some damage control.
- 00:20:43,492 --> 00:20:44,825 Because he's feeling like...
- 00:20:45,285 --> 00:20:47,745 CHANDLER: Hey. - Hey. Hey.
- 00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:50,831 - What are you guys talking about? ROSS: Uh, ahem.
- 00:20:50,999 --> 00:20:54,627 Rachel and I, uh, hired a male nanny.
- 00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:57,505 You got a man who's a nanny?
- 00:20:58,382 --> 00:20:59,674 You got a "manny"?
- 00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:04,011 [ALL LAUGHING]
- 00:21:09,351 --> 00:21:11,352 You know, I don't mind a male nanny...
- 00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:13,354 ...but I do draw the line at male wet nurse.
- 00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:21,195 Oh! Oh! You are on a roll, mister.
- 00:21:22,030 --> 00:21:24,991 If I'd known you guys were coming over, I would've brought more pizza.
- 00:21:27,327 --> 00:21:31,455 Okay. Okay. Stop it, you. You stop it.
- 00:21:33,083 --> 00:21:35,668 What is so funny about that?
- 00:21:36,420 --> 00:21:39,755 I don't know, it's... Well, just the way you say it.
- 00:21:39,923 --> 00:21:43,884 I mean, you're funny. You have that funny thing. You're a funny guy.
- 00:21:47,097 --> 00:21:48,597 Did you tell her what we talked about?
- 00:21:48,765 --> 00:21:50,683 [LAUGHS]
- 00:21:54,229 --> 00:21:55,896 Yeah.
- 00:21:59,151 --> 00:22:02,945 So those were pity laughs? Pity laughs?
- 00:22:03,655 --> 00:22:05,990 MONICA: Honey, listen.
- 00:22:06,366 --> 00:22:08,409 You have nothing to worry about with Jeffrey.
- 00:22:08,577 --> 00:22:10,703 Oh, yeah? Is he funnier than me?
- 00:22:11,079 --> 00:22:13,581 Well, you're different funny.
- 00:22:13,749 --> 00:22:16,083 I mean, you're more sarcastic.
- 00:22:16,251 --> 00:22:19,962 And, well, he does bits and impressions and limericks.
- 00:22:20,130 --> 00:22:21,255 I do limericks.
- 00:22:21,506 --> 00:22:26,927 Uh, there once was a man named Chandler whose wife made him die inside.
- 00:22:28,388 --> 00:22:31,098 Honey, you know I think you're hilarious.
- 00:22:31,266 --> 00:22:33,184 You know that joke you told me last week?
- 00:22:33,352 --> 00:22:36,228 The one about Jerry Lewis and the girl with the lazy eye?
- 00:22:36,396 --> 00:22:37,980 That slayed me.
- 00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:42,568 Hey. I made up that joke and told it to you.
- 00:22:46,281 --> 00:22:48,366 - Not knowing when to shut up. - Yep, that's my thing.
- 00:22:48,533 --> 00:22:50,159 Yup.
- 00:22:57,167 --> 00:23:00,461 So how many guys have your key?
- 00:23:00,796 --> 00:23:03,506 No, no, no. It's not as bad as it looks.
- 00:23:03,757 --> 00:23:05,758 I was saying goodbye to an old friend.
- 00:23:06,134 --> 00:23:08,219 Your lipstick's on his mouth.
- 00:23:08,387 --> 00:23:12,014 Oh, uh, we just, uh, happen to wear the same shade.
- 00:23:13,350 --> 00:23:16,477 No, um, David and I did used to go out.
- 00:23:16,770 --> 00:23:21,774 But years ago. And he lives in Minsk. He's only in town for a couple days.
- 00:23:22,484 --> 00:23:24,151 - Did you, uh...? - No. No.
- 00:23:24,319 --> 00:23:25,986 - Kiss him? - Oh, well, yeah.
- 00:23:27,614 --> 00:23:30,741 Yes, but you should know, she really likes you.
- 00:23:30,909 --> 00:23:34,370 In fact, I don't think you realize just how lucky you are, fella.
- 00:23:34,579 --> 00:23:36,914 - Don't point your finger at me. - Why?
- 00:23:37,082 --> 00:23:38,666 What are you gonna do about it?
- 00:23:38,917 --> 00:23:41,752 Well, I'll show you what I'm gonna do about it.
- 00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:45,464 - Oh, really? Really? - You want some of that? Huh? Huh?
- 00:23:48,301 --> 00:23:51,429 Stop it. Stop it. Before someone gets really hurt.
- 00:23:54,141 --> 00:23:56,600 Here, David, you should just go.
- 00:23:56,768 --> 00:23:58,060 All right.
- 00:23:59,312 --> 00:24:04,024 But if I ever do come back from Minsk, well, you just better watch out.
- 00:24:04,276 --> 00:24:07,445 - If I go to Minsk, you better watch out. - Oh, you're going to Minsk?
- 00:24:07,654 --> 00:24:10,489 - Well, I might. - Really?
- 00:24:10,657 --> 00:24:13,993 Well, if you do, come in the spring. It's just lovely there.
- 00:24:14,369 --> 00:24:17,663 - Okay, well, guys? - Well...
- 00:24:18,123 --> 00:24:19,748 - Goodbye, Phoebe. - Bye.
- 00:24:19,958 --> 00:24:23,502 - Hey, what, are you kidding me? - Right-o. Right-o.
- 00:24:27,215 --> 00:24:29,133 Take good care of her.
- 00:24:31,970 --> 00:24:34,138 I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
- 00:24:34,306 --> 00:24:37,641 If you want your key back, I totally understand.
- 00:24:39,352 --> 00:24:42,313 - It's never gonna happen again, right? - Right. Never. I swear.
- 00:24:44,191 --> 00:24:50,196 I... Oh, I just want to say, if you do ever come to Minsk, that's my number.
- 00:24:50,363 --> 00:24:53,824 We'll, uh, party up Vladnik-style.
- 00:25:00,665 --> 00:25:03,375 [RECORDERS PLAYING]
- 00:25:09,758 --> 00:25:11,342 JOEY: Yeah. All right.
- 00:25:11,635 --> 00:25:15,930 Hey, Ross. Check it out. Sandy taught me "Hot Cross Buns."
- 00:25:16,515 --> 00:25:19,058 Really? Sounded like "Three Blind Mice."
- 00:25:19,351 --> 00:25:22,186 - No, "Three Blind Mice" goes like this. - I swear to God.
- 00:25:25,941 --> 00:25:29,318 - Who's up for puppets? - Me. I'm up for puppets.
- 00:25:29,486 --> 00:25:32,613 Well, please welcome:
- 00:25:32,781 --> 00:25:34,740 The Snufflebumps.
- 00:25:34,908 --> 00:25:38,577 Who wants to be Mr. Wigglemunch and who's gonna be the Grumpus?
- 00:25:38,745 --> 00:25:43,958 Okay, okay, how exactly is a 2-month-old supposed to appreciate puppets?
- 00:25:44,209 --> 00:25:48,462 Studies show that the movement and colors help their cerebral development.
- 00:25:48,630 --> 00:25:52,174 The whimsical characters are just for us.
- 00:25:56,263 --> 00:25:59,139 I want to be Mr. Wigglemunch.
- 00:26:00,308 --> 00:26:01,559 Oh, my God.
- 00:26:01,726 --> 00:26:04,520 Well, I guess we know who's gonna be the Grumpus.
- 00:26:04,688 --> 00:26:06,647 [RACHEL & JOEY LAUGH]
- 00:26:10,068 --> 00:26:12,653 - That was kind of rude. - Oh, I'm sorry.
- 00:26:12,821 --> 00:26:16,865 Please apologize to Sandy and the Snufflebumps for me.
- 00:26:17,158 --> 00:26:20,369 - You know, he was just doing his job. - You know what?
- 00:26:20,537 --> 00:26:26,750 I'm sorry I'm the only one who isn't in love with Gary Poppins out there.
- 00:26:29,212 --> 00:26:31,797 But I just... I can't go through with this.
- 00:26:32,090 --> 00:26:33,632 - Come on. - No. You know what?
- 00:26:33,883 --> 00:26:38,846 I would never force you to hire someone you were this uncomfortable with.
- 00:26:41,558 --> 00:26:44,393 Ugh, that's true.
- 00:26:44,561 --> 00:26:45,728 Thank you.
- 00:26:45,979 --> 00:26:48,314 You want to fire him, so you're gonna have to go do it.
- 00:26:48,815 --> 00:26:50,316 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:26:51,610 --> 00:26:57,573 So you see, Wigglemunch, that's why it's important to share.
- 00:26:59,326 --> 00:27:02,620 I am learning so much from you.
- 00:27:07,542 --> 00:27:08,792 Well, I'm off to Tulsa.
- 00:27:09,085 --> 00:27:12,421 So if your maître d' friend has any funny Oklahoma jokes...
- 00:27:12,589 --> 00:27:17,343 ...tell him to e-mail me at www-dot-ha-ha-not-so-much-dot-com.
- 00:27:19,554 --> 00:27:21,138 Honey, you can relax.
- 00:27:21,348 --> 00:27:24,725 Last night at work Jeffrey told this really sexist joke.
- 00:27:24,893 --> 00:27:27,811 - After that, not so funny anymore. - Really?
- 00:27:28,063 --> 00:27:31,815 See, that's the thing. You gotta keep it smart, people.
- 00:27:31,983 --> 00:27:35,319 Okay. Don't miss that flight. You know I love you.
- 00:27:35,570 --> 00:27:37,321 I love you too.
- 00:27:38,073 --> 00:27:41,825 - And I like you as a friend. JOEY: Right.
- 00:27:41,993 --> 00:27:44,536 - See you later. CHANDLER: See you.
- 00:27:46,039 --> 00:27:49,625 - Did the guy really make that joke? - No, he still kills me.
- 00:27:49,793 --> 00:27:54,088 Last night he had me laughing so hard, I swear, a little pee came out.
- 00:28:02,430 --> 00:28:03,597 Here goes.
- 00:28:03,807 --> 00:28:07,101 I can't watch. It's like firing Elmo.
- 00:28:11,731 --> 00:28:13,148 Sandy? Hi.
- 00:28:13,316 --> 00:28:15,067 - Hi. - We, uh...
- 00:28:15,235 --> 00:28:17,277 We kind of need to talk.
- 00:28:21,282 --> 00:28:23,575 I'm afraid it's not working out.
- 00:28:26,496 --> 00:28:28,247 - Oh. - Yeah, um...
- 00:28:28,456 --> 00:28:33,752 I mean, Rachel and I think you are great with Emma. Um...
- 00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:37,172 - We just feel... RACHEL: You. You feel.
- 00:28:38,049 --> 00:28:40,718 I just feel...
- 00:28:42,721 --> 00:28:46,098 ...that the chemistry isn't right. I'm sorry.
- 00:28:46,266 --> 00:28:48,934 We're more than happy to give you a good recommendation.
- 00:28:49,185 --> 00:28:53,522 No, that's okay. I had a lot of offers from other families.
- 00:28:53,690 --> 00:28:55,983 I just picked you guys because...
- 00:28:56,151 --> 00:29:00,237 ...I liked you the best. RACHEL: Oh, damn you, Geller.
- 00:29:03,491 --> 00:29:06,493 Anyway, uh, well, I'm glad there's no hard feelings.
- 00:29:06,745 --> 00:29:11,540 No, none at all. You need to be happy with whoever is in your home.
- 00:29:11,750 --> 00:29:15,294 Although, if you don't mind telling me...
- 00:29:15,462 --> 00:29:18,922 ...what was the problem? Maybe it's something I can work on in the future.
- 00:29:19,132 --> 00:29:25,262 No, you know, it's, uh, nothing you did. It's... It's, uh, my issue.
- 00:29:26,389 --> 00:29:27,973 What is it?
- 00:29:28,767 --> 00:29:30,267 Uh, heh...
- 00:29:30,435 --> 00:29:32,060 Please?
- 00:29:35,648 --> 00:29:38,358 You know, I'm just not, um, that comfortable...
- 00:29:38,526 --> 00:29:42,112 ...with a guy who's as sensitive as you.
- 00:29:43,156 --> 00:29:44,198 That's fair.
- 00:29:45,241 --> 00:29:48,869 Although, can I ask, why do you think that is?
- 00:29:49,496 --> 00:29:51,330 Why? I don't know.
- 00:29:56,169 --> 00:29:58,587 Um... Uh...
- 00:29:59,047 --> 00:30:01,590 Maybe because of my father?
- 00:30:01,758 --> 00:30:03,217 Mm.
- 00:30:04,511 --> 00:30:08,430 I mean, uh, you know, when I was growing up, he was a tough guy.
- 00:30:09,891 --> 00:30:13,477 You know, and as a kid, I wasn't the athlete I am now.
- 00:30:13,645 --> 00:30:15,354 [RACHEL LAUGHS]
- 00:30:15,855 --> 00:30:18,649 I play squash.
- 00:30:22,237 --> 00:30:27,825 Anyway, I, uh... I always got the feeling he thought I was too sensitive.
- 00:30:28,326 --> 00:30:29,660 That must have been hard.
- 00:30:31,204 --> 00:30:33,247 It was hard.
- 00:30:34,499 --> 00:30:39,711 I remember I was in my bedroom, playing with my dinosaurs...
- 00:30:40,797 --> 00:30:42,130 Playing and learning.
- 00:30:44,801 --> 00:30:50,639 And my father walks in and says, "What are you doing with those things?
- 00:30:50,849 --> 00:30:56,770 What's wrong with you? Why aren't you outside playing like a real boy?"
- 00:30:57,063 --> 00:31:00,357 - But you are a real boy. - I know I am.
- 00:31:02,652 --> 00:31:07,781 And when it's summer and it's hot, why can't you wear a tank top?
- 00:31:09,158 --> 00:31:15,372 It's all right. Crying is good. It lets the boo-hoos out.
- 00:31:16,708 --> 00:31:18,876 Here comes some more.
- 00:31:27,427 --> 00:31:30,679 And what's the one kind of boat that can never ever sink?
- 00:31:30,972 --> 00:31:35,851 - What kind? - A friend ship.
- 00:31:37,729 --> 00:31:41,064 Wow. You blow my mind.
- 00:31:43,026 --> 00:31:45,068 - Oh, I gotta go. - Aw.
- 00:31:45,236 --> 00:31:47,029 - How much do I owe you? - Twenty bucks.
- 00:31:47,655 --> 00:31:50,699 It's like the cheapest college ever.
- 00:31:53,661 --> 00:31:55,662 [English - US - SDH]
Скриншоты






































