Эпизод с днём рождения Фиби
Описание
Компания празднует день рождения Фиби в шикарном ресторане, но вовремя приходят только она и Джои: Моника узнает, что Чендлер курил со своими коллегами в Талсе, и вступает с ним в драку, которая позже заканчивается тем, что она обманом заставляет его заняться с ней сексом, так как у нее овуляция; Росс и Рэйчел оказываются запертыми снаружи своей квартиры, а Эмма внутри, и отчаянно пытаются вернуться внутрь. Когда все наконец добираются до ужина, Фиби уходит, чтобы встретиться с Майком, когда он закончит работу раньше. Затем Росс и Рэйчел отвозят Эмму домой после того, как их «няня», мать Росса Джуди, которая сопровождала их после того, как у Рэйчел развилась тревога разлуки, уделяет больше внимания напиткам в баре, чем их дочери. Чендлер и Моника уходят, чтобы заняться сексом, так как у нее все еще овуляция. Только Джои остается, чтобы съесть ужин всех остальных.
Субтитры
- 00:00:02,877 --> 00:00:04,086 Oh, hey, you guys?
- 00:00:04,254 --> 00:00:07,047 I couldn't get a reservation for the night of my birthday...
- 00:00:07,257 --> 00:00:09,383 ...so we'll have to do dinner Thursday night instead.
- 00:00:09,592 --> 00:00:14,513 - Thursday? But that's Halloween. PHOEBE: So?
- 00:00:14,889 --> 00:00:17,016 It's just spooky, that's all.
- 00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,768 Uh, so is Mike coming to dinner?
- 00:00:19,978 --> 00:00:23,731 No. It's my first birthday with a boyfriend, and he has to work.
- 00:00:23,898 --> 00:00:27,943 I'd get mad at him, but I think it's too soon to show my true colors.
- 00:00:29,696 --> 00:00:31,405 Well, I would make the reservation for five.
- 00:00:31,573 --> 00:00:33,198 One of us has to stay home and watch Emma.
- 00:00:33,366 --> 00:00:35,451 - Which one of us should go to dinner? - Oh, Rachel.
- 00:00:37,829 --> 00:00:41,874 Uh, actually, I was thinking maybe both of us could go.
- 00:00:42,083 --> 00:00:43,500 Oh, yay.
- 00:00:44,919 --> 00:00:47,713 Thanks. I'll put a lot of extra thought into your gift.
- 00:00:49,090 --> 00:00:51,300 All right, so great, we can all go now.
- 00:00:51,468 --> 00:00:54,178 That is fun. Hey. You know what?
- 00:00:54,345 --> 00:00:57,806 We all haven't been together, the six of us, in such a long time.
- 00:00:58,016 --> 00:01:00,225 What are you talking about? We're all together now.
- 00:01:00,435 --> 00:01:03,020 Uh, Mon? Chandler's not here.
- 00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:08,150 Oh, dear God.
- 00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:51,860 Hello, everyone. It's nice to see our team together for the first time.
- 00:01:52,028 --> 00:01:55,447 Now, before we get started, are there any questions?
- 00:01:55,657 --> 00:01:57,366 - Yes. Ken, is it? KEN: That's right.
- 00:01:57,575 --> 00:02:00,744 Is it true the reason you're in Tulsa is that you fell asleep in a meeting...
- 00:02:00,912 --> 00:02:03,914 ...and took the job without realizing what you were saying yes to?
- 00:02:05,166 --> 00:02:06,208 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:02:06,376 --> 00:02:09,169 Well, don't believe everything you hear, Ken.
- 00:02:09,337 --> 00:02:10,879 But yeah, that's true.
- 00:02:12,257 --> 00:02:17,594 All right, let's get started by, uh, taking a look at last quarter's figures.
- 00:02:18,763 --> 00:02:23,100 Uh, Claudia, aren't you supposed to blow smoke up the boss's ass?
- 00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:29,648 - I'm sorry. Does the smoke bother you? - No. I smoked for years. Then I quit.
- 00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:32,234 Right now, I can't remember why.
- 00:02:32,902 --> 00:02:35,237 You're not allowed to smoke in this office though, right?
- 00:02:35,446 --> 00:02:39,032 Yes, in Oklahoma it's legal to smoke in offices with 15 people or less.
- 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:42,870 - Would you like one? - All right, look. I don't smoke anymore.
- 00:02:43,079 --> 00:02:46,331 But if the rest of you want to light up, go ahead, it's fine.
- 00:02:49,794 --> 00:02:52,129 So you all smoke, then? Heh.
- 00:02:52,297 --> 00:02:55,382 You know, it's almost rude that I'm not smoking.
- 00:02:55,592 --> 00:02:57,968 - That's not true. If you don't wanna smoke... - Ken, please!
- 00:03:01,264 --> 00:03:04,349 No, I can't. I can't smoke. If I smoke, my wife would kill me.
- 00:03:04,559 --> 00:03:06,810 I'm sorry, but isn't your wife back in New York?
- 00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:11,815 I've always liked you, Ken.
- 00:03:16,738 --> 00:03:17,779 [KNOCK ON DOOR]
- 00:03:17,947 --> 00:03:19,656 PHOEBE: Trick or treat.
- 00:03:21,492 --> 00:03:23,368 MONICA: Hey. - Ooh, and "treat" it is.
- 00:03:26,122 --> 00:03:28,373 Wow. So glad I changed.
- 00:03:28,958 --> 00:03:32,753 I almost wore my threadbare robe that can't contain my breasts.
- 00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:37,090 This is not what I'm wearing. I'm ovulating...
- 00:03:37,258 --> 00:03:40,677 ...and Chandler's gonna be home. So I thought we would try before dinner.
- 00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:44,598 Oh. Wait, does that...? You guys won't be late for my dinner, will you?
- 00:03:44,807 --> 00:03:46,975 Chandler and I have not seen each other in over a week.
- 00:03:47,143 --> 00:03:48,727 We'll probably be the first ones there.
- 00:03:49,812 --> 00:03:51,688 Okay. See you there. Happy humping.
- 00:03:54,108 --> 00:03:55,567 Hey. Well, hey.
- 00:03:55,985 --> 00:03:59,112 Oh. Wow, somebody smoked out here?
- 00:04:01,282 --> 00:04:04,785 My God, don't people know you're not allowed to smoke in public spaces?
- 00:04:04,994 --> 00:04:10,666 Actually, in Oklahoma, smoking is legal in offices with fewer than 15 people.
- 00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:13,126 Oh, you smoked.
- 00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:18,090 No. I just happen to know a lot of trivia about smoking in different states.
- 00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:22,844 For example, in Hawaii, cigarettes are called lei-lana-lukus.
- 00:04:24,222 --> 00:04:28,767 - Oh, Chandler, you stink of cigarettes. - Do you think Monica is gonna smell it?
- 00:04:28,977 --> 00:04:32,479 Are you kidding? That woman has the nose of a bloodhound.
- 00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:36,066 And the breasts of a Greek goddess.
- 00:04:39,487 --> 00:04:41,613 Pheebs?
- 00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:44,408 I'm gonna go.
- 00:04:48,079 --> 00:04:51,581 Okay. Something to cover the smell.
- 00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:57,129 Oven cleaner.
- 00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:04,177 Unscented.
- 00:05:05,847 --> 00:05:07,347 MONICA: Welcome home.
- 00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:11,351 I've missed you.
- 00:05:11,519 --> 00:05:16,064 - You wanna join me in the bedroom? - No, thanks, I'm good.
- 00:05:16,566 --> 00:05:20,944 Oh, okay. So you want to play it that way, do you?
- 00:05:21,362 --> 00:05:23,864 Well, uh, you know what? Actually, I just got off a plane...
- 00:05:24,073 --> 00:05:26,366 ...so I'm feeling gross. Maybe I should take a shower.
- 00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:30,329 - Come here, you don't need a shower. - All right, the truth is...
- 00:05:30,496 --> 00:05:33,373 ...I soiled myself during some turbulence.
- 00:05:37,211 --> 00:05:40,422 What do I smell? I smell smoke.
- 00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:41,757 Did you smoke?
- 00:05:42,967 --> 00:05:45,802 Yes. But I just had one.
- 00:05:45,970 --> 00:05:47,429 Two.
- 00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:50,349 Two tiny cigarettes. Okay, five.
- 00:05:52,060 --> 00:05:55,937 A pack. Two pack... A carton.
- 00:05:56,105 --> 00:05:58,607 Three big fat cartons in two days.
- 00:06:00,401 --> 00:06:03,403 But it's over. I've made a decision, I'm not gonna smoke anymore.
- 00:06:07,742 --> 00:06:09,201 Well, those are for you.
- 00:06:11,579 --> 00:06:14,956 All right. Well, we'll just, uh, see you when you get here. Bye.
- 00:06:15,833 --> 00:06:18,752 Oh, that was my mom. She's stuck in terrible traffic.
- 00:06:18,961 --> 00:06:21,713 Okay, well, that is now the third sign that I should not leave Emma.
- 00:06:21,923 --> 00:06:24,925 - What are the other two? - Well, the first one is, I don't want to.
- 00:06:25,093 --> 00:06:28,595 And second one, I'm not going.
- 00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:30,931 I know this is the first time we're leaving the baby.
- 00:06:31,099 --> 00:06:33,558 Hey, I know how hard it is for you. But...
- 00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:36,853 But everything's gonna be fine. I mean, my mom is gonna be with her.
- 00:06:37,021 --> 00:06:39,189 - She's great with kids. - She is?
- 00:06:39,357 --> 00:06:41,191 Yeah.
- 00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:43,235 What about Monica?
- 00:06:43,444 --> 00:06:47,531 Hey, you only hear Monica's side of that. Okay, that little fatso was a terror.
- 00:06:50,326 --> 00:06:54,913 - I just don't think I can do it. - You know what? You can and you should.
- 00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:57,082 Really, it'll be good for you.
- 00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:58,291 In fact, you know what?
- 00:06:58,459 --> 00:07:01,545 Why don't you go ahead to the restaurant, and I will wait for my mom...
- 00:07:01,712 --> 00:07:05,424 ...and then I'll meet you there? No, no, really, you should go. Go out.
- 00:07:05,591 --> 00:07:12,139 Really, the world is your oyster. Kick up your heels. Paint the town red.
- 00:07:12,974 --> 00:07:17,352 - You need to learn some new slang. - I'm serious. Come on, you should go.
- 00:07:17,562 --> 00:07:20,397 Here. No, just go.
- 00:07:20,565 --> 00:07:22,524 - Well... Oh! - No, no. You know what?
- 00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:26,695 You're not getting back in there. The baby's fine. Now, scram.
- 00:07:28,489 --> 00:07:30,740 Yeah, tell your story walking.
- 00:07:32,243 --> 00:07:34,953 I was just going to say that I left my keys.
- 00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:36,788 Oh.
- 00:07:38,499 --> 00:07:41,751 Holy moley, are we in a pickle now.
- 00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:48,633 Where is everyone? They're 40 minutes late.
- 00:07:48,843 --> 00:07:50,802 - I know. - I'm starving.
- 00:07:51,012 --> 00:07:53,680 I knew we were coming here tonight. I ate nothing all day.
- 00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:56,016 What about me? I only had one lunch today.
- 00:07:57,810 --> 00:08:00,687 So are we expecting the rest of our party shortly?
- 00:08:00,897 --> 00:08:03,231 Yes, they are expected presently. Yeah.
- 00:08:03,399 --> 00:08:07,027 Their, um... Their arrival is in the offing.
- 00:08:07,445 --> 00:08:09,488 Right. We do have a table for two available.
- 00:08:09,655 --> 00:08:11,323 - Perhaps you'd be... - No, they're coming.
- 00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:12,991 We're waiting right here.
- 00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:15,911 Joseph.
- 00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:20,624 One needn't worry. They shan't be long.
- 00:08:20,958 --> 00:08:24,377 It's just that we do have some large parties waiting.
- 00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:27,506 Oh, one really does have a stick up one's ass, doesn't one?
- 00:08:30,384 --> 00:08:33,553 How can you smoke in this day and age? Have you not seen that ad? Huh?
- 00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:37,557 Where the little kid walks through Grandpa? It's chilling.
- 00:08:37,767 --> 00:08:40,602 I messed up. It was a meeting. Everybody was smoking.
- 00:08:40,811 --> 00:08:42,938 So what? Don't you have any willpower?
- 00:08:43,147 --> 00:08:46,066 Willpower? I've watched home movies of you eating Ding Dongs...
- 00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:48,068 ...without taking the tinfoil off.
- 00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:52,739 You said that was sexy.
- 00:08:54,575 --> 00:08:58,161 Okay, look, can we just drop this? I'm not gonna smoke again.
- 00:08:58,329 --> 00:09:00,872 That's right, because I forbid you to smoke again.
- 00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:02,499 - You forbid me? - Mm-hm.
- 00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:05,544 You know, I've flown a long way to see my loving wife.
- 00:09:05,711 --> 00:09:07,629 Is she here, by the way?
- 00:09:07,838 --> 00:09:13,218 Chandler, don't joke with me. Okay? I'm very, very upset right now.
- 00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:15,804 Oh. Would you say this is the most upset you could be?
- 00:09:15,972 --> 00:09:17,013 I think so.
- 00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:19,307 Well, then I might as well...
- 00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:21,601 ...do this.
- 00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:34,406 Not really sure what to do now.
- 00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:38,201 I'll tell you what we're gonna do.
- 00:09:38,369 --> 00:09:40,954 We're already late for Phoebe's birthday dinner.
- 00:09:41,122 --> 00:09:43,039 So you're going to put out that cigarette...
- 00:09:43,207 --> 00:09:46,042 ...we're gonna put this fight on hold, and go have sex.
- 00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:49,296 Fine. What?
- 00:09:49,505 --> 00:09:52,340 Sex. This is the last day I'm ovulating. If we don't do it...
- 00:09:52,508 --> 00:09:54,676 ...we're gonna have to wait until next month.
- 00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:56,845 You're serious?
- 00:09:57,013 --> 00:10:00,515 - Oh, yeah. - All right, fine, I'll do it, but no talking.
- 00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:03,685 - And no cuddling. - And no kissing your neck.
- 00:10:03,894 --> 00:10:05,812 Oh, good. I hate it when you do that.
- 00:10:09,108 --> 00:10:12,319 And lots of kissing your neck.
- 00:10:13,237 --> 00:10:14,946 Okay, well, the super's not home.
- 00:10:15,114 --> 00:10:17,699 But my mother's gonna be here, and she has the key.
- 00:10:17,908 --> 00:10:21,119 I can't wait that long. You have to do something. Knock that door down.
- 00:10:21,329 --> 00:10:23,496 I would, but I bruise like a peach.
- 00:10:25,916 --> 00:10:29,836 Besides, you know, everything's gonna be fine. The baby's sleeping.
- 00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:32,881 - What if she jumps out of the bassinet? - Can't hold her own head up.
- 00:10:33,049 --> 00:10:34,257 But, yeah, jumped.
- 00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:37,260 Oh, my God. I left the water running.
- 00:10:37,428 --> 00:10:41,306 You did not leave the water running. Please, pull yourself together, okay?
- 00:10:41,515 --> 00:10:45,810 - Well, did I leave the stove on? - You haven't cooked since 1996.
- 00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:49,773 Is the window open? If the window's open a bird could fly in and...
- 00:10:49,982 --> 00:10:51,858 Oh, my God, you know what? I think you're right.
- 00:10:52,026 --> 00:10:53,443 - Listen. - What? What?
- 00:10:53,611 --> 00:10:58,031 A pigeon. No. No, wait, no. An eagle flew in.
- 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:02,118 Landed on the stove and caught fire.
- 00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:10,377 The baby, seeing this, jumps across the apartment to the mighty bird's aid.
- 00:11:10,544 --> 00:11:13,380 The eagle, however, misconstrues this as an act of aggression...
- 00:11:13,547 --> 00:11:15,256 ...and grabs the baby in its talon.
- 00:11:15,424 --> 00:11:18,677 Meanwhile, the faucet fills the apartment with water.
- 00:11:18,844 --> 00:11:22,347 Baby and bird, still ablaze, are locked in a death grip...
- 00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:27,352 ...swirling around the whirlpool that fills the apartment.
- 00:11:28,896 --> 00:11:31,231 Boy, are you gonna be sorry if that's true.
- 00:11:35,861 --> 00:11:37,570 - Hello. BOTH: Hi.
- 00:11:37,780 --> 00:11:39,698 It's been an hour.
- 00:11:39,865 --> 00:11:43,868 The maitre d' asked if you'd reconsider switching to a smaller table.
- 00:11:44,161 --> 00:11:45,662 Maybe we should just eat now.
- 00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:49,457 You can't order until the entire party's arrived. Restaurant policy.
- 00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:52,585 Well, how about this? Another table leaves, right...
- 00:11:52,753 --> 00:11:55,797 ...but there's still some food left on their plates.
- 00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:59,426 Okay, what's the restaurant's policy about people eating that?
- 00:11:59,635 --> 00:12:02,554 - It's frowned upon. - But it happens.
- 00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:08,560 - All right, I gotta go to the bathroom. - No, you can't go.
- 00:12:08,769 --> 00:12:10,979 No, no, no. I can't hold this table on my own.
- 00:12:11,147 --> 00:12:13,189 If they ask me to move, I'll cave.
- 00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:15,358 Well, if you ask me to stay, I'll pee.
- 00:12:21,490 --> 00:12:23,992 Good evening, miss.
- 00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:26,911 Miss?
- 00:12:28,914 --> 00:12:31,291 Miss? Miss?
- 00:12:31,459 --> 00:12:36,045 Okay, fine, I'll move. All right. You don't have to manhandle me.
- 00:12:37,047 --> 00:12:40,550 Where? Okay.
- 00:12:41,051 --> 00:12:42,719 Thank you.
- 00:12:43,262 --> 00:12:44,846 Wow.
- 00:12:50,102 --> 00:12:52,937 Finally, you guys made it.
- 00:12:59,945 --> 00:13:01,279 Pheebs, who the hell...? Ah!
- 00:13:09,121 --> 00:13:12,540 Spend more time with the tie. That'll make a baby.
- 00:13:13,375 --> 00:13:17,670 Look, I can't do this. I can't make love to you while we're fighting this way.
- 00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:20,173 Oh, sure. Now you're Mr. Sensitivity.
- 00:13:20,341 --> 00:13:23,009 But when you wanted to have sex right after my uncle's funeral...
- 00:13:23,219 --> 00:13:25,303 That was a celebration of life.
- 00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:28,598 All right, look, I'm not gonna do this.
- 00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:31,309 Is this the way you want our baby to be conceived?
- 00:13:32,728 --> 00:13:34,771 No, you're right.
- 00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:37,649 Yeah, we shouldn't do it like this.
- 00:13:38,025 --> 00:13:39,692 [MONICA SIGHS]
- 00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:43,530 For what it's worth, I'm sorry.
- 00:13:43,697 --> 00:13:46,991 I shouldn't have come down on you so hard about the smoking.
- 00:13:47,284 --> 00:13:51,162 So you had a few cigarettes. It's not the end of the world.
- 00:13:51,372 --> 00:13:53,957 - Really? - Yeah.
- 00:13:54,375 --> 00:13:56,459 You are incredible.
- 00:13:56,627 --> 00:13:59,170 And listen, I'm not gonna smoke again.
- 00:13:59,338 --> 00:14:02,423 And if I do, I promise I will hide it so much better from you.
- 00:14:10,057 --> 00:14:12,058 - Do you want to? - Yeah, let's celebrate life.
- 00:14:12,226 --> 00:14:13,810 MONICA: Okay.
- 00:14:15,604 --> 00:14:17,772 RACHEL: Oh, God.
- 00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:19,816 Oh, thank God you're okay.
- 00:14:20,025 --> 00:14:22,485 I'm sorry we left you. Mommy will never leave you again.
- 00:14:22,653 --> 00:14:25,697 Never, ever, ever again.
- 00:14:26,073 --> 00:14:27,740 Great. So let's get going.
- 00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:32,579 Oh, no. I mean it. After what just happened, I'm never leaving her again.
- 00:14:32,788 --> 00:14:35,540 I understand. Separation is hard.
- 00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:39,711 One time I was about to leave Ross to go to the beauty parlor.
- 00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:42,630 And he got so upset he took off all his clothes...
- 00:14:42,798 --> 00:14:46,050 ...tucked his willy between his legs...
- 00:14:46,218 --> 00:14:51,055 ...and cried out, "Mommy, I'm a girl. Take me with you."
- 00:14:58,689 --> 00:15:02,984 Somehow, over time, it got easier to be apart from you.
- 00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:07,280 CHANDLER: Ah.
- 00:15:08,115 --> 00:15:11,075 You are welcome.
- 00:15:12,286 --> 00:15:15,496 - You know what? Let's not talk. - What?
- 00:15:15,706 --> 00:15:19,167 - I am still so mad at you for smoking. - But you said you forgave me.
- 00:15:19,335 --> 00:15:21,169 It was just a couple of cigarettes, no big deal.
- 00:15:21,378 --> 00:15:23,212 Oh, blah-blah-blah-blah.
- 00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:28,801 I was ovulating and you said you wouldn't have sex with me if we were fighting.
- 00:15:29,678 --> 00:15:35,391 - You tricked me to get me into bed? - That's right. I got mine.
- 00:15:37,895 --> 00:15:40,730 I feel so used.
- 00:15:42,066 --> 00:15:45,485 Well, I guess they're not coming. You want to just order?
- 00:15:46,195 --> 00:15:48,196 Thank you.
- 00:15:51,575 --> 00:15:54,953 Waiter? All right, this is gonna go fast, so try to keep up.
- 00:15:55,162 --> 00:15:57,246 Risotto with shaved truffles and the rib steak...
- 00:15:57,414 --> 00:15:59,958 ...with the golden chanterelles and the Bordelaise sauce...
- 00:16:00,125 --> 00:16:03,628 ...unless any of that stuff I just said means "snails."
- 00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:07,298 - It does not. - Tomato tart...
- 00:16:07,466 --> 00:16:09,467 ...and, um, which of the pastas would you recommend?
- 00:16:09,677 --> 00:16:12,470 - Oh, well, they're both exquis... - Both it is. Thank you.
- 00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:14,847 Oh, uh, can I make a special request?
- 00:16:15,015 --> 00:16:16,891 Can you bring everything as soon as it's ready?
- 00:16:17,059 --> 00:16:18,601 Appetizers, entrées, we don't care.
- 00:16:18,769 --> 00:16:20,019 ROSS: Hey. RACHEL: Hi. Hi.
- 00:16:22,106 --> 00:16:25,400 - I'll just wait to put your order in. - You guys are over an hour late.
- 00:16:25,567 --> 00:16:27,735 - What happened to you two? ROSS: So sorry.
- 00:16:27,903 --> 00:16:31,280 - We got locked out of the apartment. - That's a great story. Can I eat it?
- 00:16:32,324 --> 00:16:35,243 And then Rachel wasn't sure she could leave the baby.
- 00:16:35,411 --> 00:16:38,871 It wasn't easy, but it's your birthday and I did what I had to do.
- 00:16:39,123 --> 00:16:41,541 And that's Judy over there at the bar with Emma?
- 00:16:45,379 --> 00:16:48,423 This is for the best. I'm not distracted, worrying about Emma...
- 00:16:48,590 --> 00:16:52,218 ...how she's doing at home, and I'm gonna be completely here with you.
- 00:16:52,428 --> 00:16:53,720 - Oh, she spit up. - What?
- 00:16:53,887 --> 00:16:57,098 She spit up. Judy? She spit... Judy, look alive, Judy.
- 00:17:00,436 --> 00:17:02,937 RACHEL: Thank you. - Thanks.
- 00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:07,775 ROSS: Ooh. - Whew, everything looks delicious.
- 00:17:07,943 --> 00:17:11,738 What should I have? What should I have?
- 00:17:11,905 --> 00:17:15,783 Never hit a woman. Never hit a woman.
- 00:17:16,660 --> 00:17:18,703 I know what you mean, this looks incredible.
- 00:17:18,912 --> 00:17:21,789 Ross bruises like a peach. He bruises like a peach.
- 00:17:22,958 --> 00:17:25,209 Okay, I'll have the fig salad and the duck.
- 00:17:25,419 --> 00:17:27,211 I'll have the, uh, soup and the salmon.
- 00:17:27,421 --> 00:17:29,380 Remember, whatever comes up first, okay?
- 00:17:29,548 --> 00:17:30,923 - And hurry... - Happy birthday.
- 00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:32,258 Son of a bitch.
- 00:17:33,427 --> 00:17:36,512 - Where have you been? - Well, we had a little fight.
- 00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:38,681 I would never lie to get someone into bed.
- 00:17:38,849 --> 00:17:42,477 You used to tell girls you were a Kennedy.
- 00:17:44,563 --> 00:17:46,481 Thanks.
- 00:17:47,983 --> 00:17:50,735 Thanks. Wow.
- 00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:53,780 A little tight, isn't it? Why didn't you get a bigger table?
- 00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:59,285 You had a big table but they made you move.
- 00:17:59,453 --> 00:18:00,912 Ha, ha. Shut up, Monica.
- 00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:07,085 Oh, well, I suppose that Chandler will have the smoked duck.
- 00:18:08,420 --> 00:18:13,591 And I suppose that Monica will have the manipulative shrew.
- 00:18:13,801 --> 00:18:16,302 - I'll give you another minute. - What, where you going?
- 00:18:16,512 --> 00:18:19,138 He said she wanted the shrew.
- 00:18:20,307 --> 00:18:22,100 Rach, come on, Emma's fine.
- 00:18:22,309 --> 00:18:26,479 You're turning into an obsessive mother, okay? You need to stop.
- 00:18:27,064 --> 00:18:31,859 You guys ever hear the story about when Ross' mom went to the beauty salon?
- 00:18:33,153 --> 00:18:38,074 - You mean the willy story? - Ha, ha. They already know it.
- 00:18:41,829 --> 00:18:43,955 We've been waiting for you for a long time.
- 00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:45,623 - Maybe you should order. - That's okay.
- 00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:48,668 - I told the waiter what they want. - Why would you do that?
- 00:18:48,877 --> 00:18:51,212 Chandler, control your woman.
- 00:18:52,047 --> 00:18:54,590 Okay, well... Everybody has ordered.
- 00:18:54,758 --> 00:19:01,430 I would like to start the celebration and make a toast to Phoebe.
- 00:19:01,598 --> 00:19:04,976 - She dropped her sock. - Aw. What?
- 00:19:05,602 --> 00:19:08,688 - No. No, Emma dropped her sock. MONICA: Mom's here?
- 00:19:08,897 --> 00:19:12,900 I wanted to have lunch with her today. She told me she was out of town.
- 00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:16,154 Ross, she still has not noticed that the baby's sock is on the ground.
- 00:19:16,363 --> 00:19:18,656 It's a good toast.
- 00:19:18,866 --> 00:19:21,492 Look, will you please get her attention?
- 00:19:22,327 --> 00:19:24,620 Mommy?
- 00:19:26,957 --> 00:19:28,082 [INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
- 00:19:33,672 --> 00:19:35,756 Oh, for God's sake, Judy, pick up the sock.
- 00:19:35,924 --> 00:19:39,010 Pick up the sock! Pick up the sock!
- 00:19:43,265 --> 00:19:45,266 I'm sorry, was that rude?
- 00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:49,353 Did my little outburst...
- 00:19:49,563 --> 00:19:53,733 ...blunt the hideousness that is this evening?
- 00:19:53,942 --> 00:19:55,818 Look, I know you all have a lot going on...
- 00:19:55,986 --> 00:20:01,908 ...but all I wanted to do was have dinner with my friends on my birthday.
- 00:20:02,075 --> 00:20:05,745 And you are all so late, and you didn't even have the courtesy to call.
- 00:20:05,913 --> 00:20:08,497 [CELL PHONE RINGING]
- 00:20:08,665 --> 00:20:11,959 Well, it's too late now.
- 00:20:12,336 --> 00:20:13,878 Yeah, Pheebs, I don't think that's us.
- 00:20:14,171 --> 00:20:19,550 Oh, well, this is... This is not over. Hello?
- 00:20:21,637 --> 00:20:25,431 - What is going on with you two? - Well, you see, I'm ovulating.
- 00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:28,226 Oh, yeah, that's what she says.
- 00:20:29,102 --> 00:20:34,023 But maybe you're not ovulating at all. Maybe it's a clever ruse to get me into bed.
- 00:20:34,691 --> 00:20:38,861 Yeah, Smokey, that's what it was. I just can't get enough.
- 00:20:39,529 --> 00:20:41,322 You're not gonna believe this. She lied.
- 00:20:41,490 --> 00:20:43,741 She tricked me into having sex with her.
- 00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:47,453 So? You got to have sex, right?
- 00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:49,956 What's the matter with me? Why am I such a girl?
- 00:20:52,709 --> 00:20:56,045 - Okay. That was Mike. - Oh, Phoebe, honey, we are so sorry.
- 00:20:56,213 --> 00:20:59,423 You are totally right. We are here 100 percent...
- 00:20:59,591 --> 00:21:02,969 ...and we love you, and we are ready to start your birthday celebration.
- 00:21:03,178 --> 00:21:06,347 Oh. You guys, that means the world to me.
- 00:21:09,476 --> 00:21:10,935 Okay, I'm gonna take off.
- 00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:14,188 What?
- 00:21:14,356 --> 00:21:16,774 Oh, I love you guys too, but Mike got off work early.
- 00:21:16,942 --> 00:21:18,776 Wait.
- 00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:23,489 Wait. I'm not the... I'm not the kind of girl that just ditches her friends...
- 00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:25,908 ...to be with her boyfriend.
- 00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:27,410 You know what? I am.
- 00:21:28,328 --> 00:21:30,830 Bye, guys. Judy. Bye.
- 00:21:32,624 --> 00:21:35,001 Oh, thank God. If Phoebe's gone, can we take Emma home?
- 00:21:35,168 --> 00:21:39,255 That's a good idea. Our babysitter just pounded another chardonnay.
- 00:21:39,423 --> 00:21:40,673 - Bye, you guys. MONICA: Bye.
- 00:21:40,841 --> 00:21:44,510 See you. Well, I guess it's just us.
- 00:21:44,678 --> 00:21:46,387 [ALL CHUCKLE]
- 00:21:48,265 --> 00:21:52,685 So I'm probably still ovulating. Do you wanna give it another try?
- 00:21:52,936 --> 00:21:56,147 So you've never had sex with a Kennedy, have you?
- 00:21:57,399 --> 00:21:59,567 - You're gonna go do it? - We don't have much time.
- 00:21:59,735 --> 00:22:01,902 Once the egg descends into the fallopian tube...
- 00:22:02,112 --> 00:22:03,946 Whoa, whoa, get out of here.
- 00:22:08,285 --> 00:22:11,662 I sincerely hope the rest of your party is returning.
- 00:22:11,872 --> 00:22:14,206 No, just me. All alone.
- 00:22:18,712 --> 00:22:21,672 Dinner for six for one.
- 00:22:22,215 --> 00:22:25,676 Well, you boys are about to see something really special.
- 00:22:39,274 --> 00:22:41,025 - How was everything, sir? - Excellent.
- 00:22:41,193 --> 00:22:44,445 The shrew, in particular, was exquisite.
- 00:22:45,572 --> 00:22:47,198 Well, I hope you've got some room left.
- 00:22:47,407 --> 00:22:50,659 ALL [SINGING]: Happy birthday to you
- 00:22:50,827 --> 00:22:53,496 Happy birthday to you
- 00:22:53,663 --> 00:22:55,664 Happy birthday, dear
- 00:22:55,832 --> 00:22:56,999 Joey. Joey.
- 00:22:57,167 --> 00:22:58,793 Joey
- 00:22:59,044 --> 00:23:02,171 Happy birthday to you
- 00:23:02,339 --> 00:23:04,965 This is the best birthday ever.
- 00:23:07,552 --> 00:23:09,553 [English - US - SDH]
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