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Эпизод, где плачет Эмма
The One Where Emma Cries
Сезон: 09Серия: 02
Описание
Рэйчел не может успокоить Эмму после того, как разбудила её. Чендлер засыпает на совещании персонала, а проснувшись, случайно соглашается переехать в Талсу. Тем временем Джои и Росс попадают в больницу после того, как Росс, всё ещё злясь на Джои за предложение Рэйчел, попытался ударить его, промахнувшись и попав в столб кофейни.
Субтитры
- 00:00:03,586 --> 00:00:05,963 You said you'd marry Joey?
- 00:00:06,131 --> 00:00:09,633 Okay, you have to realize, I was exhausted, I was emotional.
- 00:00:09,801 --> 00:00:11,552 I would have said yes to anybody.
- 00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:14,680 Like that time when you and I got married.
- 00:00:16,641 --> 00:00:18,600 I'm not helping.
- 00:00:19,060 --> 00:00:23,355 So you said yes to him, and you just had our baby?
- 00:00:23,523 --> 00:00:27,776 That is right. And traditionally, the daddy gives the mommy a present.
- 00:00:27,944 --> 00:00:29,903 But I am prepared to let that go.
- 00:00:31,072 --> 00:00:34,908 So when I came here to see if you wanted to maybe start things up again...
- 00:00:35,076 --> 00:00:38,412 ...you were engaged to my best friend?
- 00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:39,913 Well...
- 00:00:40,081 --> 00:00:41,832 Really?
- 00:00:42,083 --> 00:00:44,626 I thought Chandler was your best friend.
- 00:00:44,794 --> 00:00:46,670 - Well, Chandler's my oldest friend. - Mm-hm.
- 00:00:46,838 --> 00:00:49,423 - Joey's my... No! Uh-uh! - Ah.
- 00:00:49,591 --> 00:00:50,966 [KNOCK ON DOOR]
- 00:00:51,134 --> 00:00:53,427 Hey, I'm gonna take off. I just wanted to say goodbye.
- 00:00:53,595 --> 00:00:55,471 Rachel said she'd marry you?
- 00:00:56,556 --> 00:00:59,349 This isn't the right room. Sorry, folks.
- 00:01:54,072 --> 00:01:57,908 I don't want to be negative. So I'll say most of the signs you bought are good.
- 00:02:01,079 --> 00:02:05,958 No, they ran out of "It's a Girl!" But I can fix this one.
- 00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:13,132 - See? Huh? - Mm.
- 00:02:15,176 --> 00:02:17,010 So sexy.
- 00:02:18,263 --> 00:02:19,471 - Honey? - Yeah?
- 00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:21,265 [MUMBLES]
- 00:02:22,350 --> 00:02:24,810 - Honey, why don't you lie down? - It's okay.
- 00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:28,313 Ross and Rachel will be back soon, and then I gotta go to the office.
- 00:02:32,652 --> 00:02:34,444 Am I producing them?
- 00:02:35,905 --> 00:02:38,532 - Why are you so tired? - I couldn't sleep last night.
- 00:02:38,700 --> 00:02:41,994 I started worrying about this big divisional meeting I have today.
- 00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:44,329 The more I worried, the more I couldn't sleep.
- 00:02:44,497 --> 00:02:48,417 You know, and then I was, like, "If I fall asleep now, I'll get six hours' sleep.
- 00:02:48,585 --> 00:02:51,670 But if I fall asleep now, I'll get five hours' sleep."
- 00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:54,089 No matter what I did, I couldn't fall asleep.
- 00:02:54,257 --> 00:02:57,926 You know what you should've done? Told yourself that little story.
- 00:03:00,346 --> 00:03:01,680 - Hi. PHOEBE: Hey.
- 00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:03,307 - Welcome home. RACHEL: Hi.
- 00:03:03,474 --> 00:03:04,850 Phoebe did the signs.
- 00:03:05,768 --> 00:03:09,605 Oh, you guys, thanks for doing this.
- 00:03:09,772 --> 00:03:11,732 - Look at all that stuff people sent. RACHEL: Oh.
- 00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:12,941 Oh! Ha, ha.
- 00:03:13,109 --> 00:03:16,236 Oh, my gosh. Look, there's something every mother needs.
- 00:03:16,404 --> 00:03:20,782 A giant, stuffed gorilla that takes up the entire apartment.
- 00:03:20,950 --> 00:03:26,163 What are people think...? Oh, you guys, I love it.
- 00:03:27,749 --> 00:03:29,333 Hey, so, uh, where's Ross?
- 00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:31,835 Uh, he's downstairs getting the stuff out of the cab.
- 00:03:32,003 --> 00:03:34,755 - Uh, is he still mad at us? - Well, you more than me.
- 00:03:34,923 --> 00:03:37,841 But he can't stay too mad at me. I mean, I just had his baby. Ha, ha.
- 00:03:38,009 --> 00:03:40,260 That's not fair. I can't do that.
- 00:03:41,179 --> 00:03:43,513 I'm not sure you should be here when he comes up.
- 00:03:43,681 --> 00:03:47,809 I didn't think I should be here either. But somebody said he'd be over it.
- 00:03:47,977 --> 00:03:50,562 Hey, what do I know? I wanted to get a bigger gorilla.
- 00:03:56,861 --> 00:04:00,656 The numbers we're seeing in Chicago, New York and London are solid.
- 00:04:00,823 --> 00:04:05,118 But many of our field offices have reported disappointing yields.
- 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:13,669 Boston is down. Atlanta is down. Houston is down.
- 00:04:13,836 --> 00:04:16,838 I could go on and on. But instead of boring you...
- 00:04:17,006 --> 00:04:20,842 ...I'll go straight to my 42-point plan.
- 00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:32,104 Walter.
- 00:04:33,898 --> 00:04:36,233 PHOEBE: She's just so cute.
- 00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:40,153 Oh, I just want to bite her ear off and use it as a sucking candy.
- 00:04:40,321 --> 00:04:42,072 RACHEL: Mm-hm.
- 00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:43,782 Phoebe. Ha, ha.
- 00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:46,785 But I could take one of those little feet and put it in a pita pocket.
- 00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:48,036 [RACHEL CHUCKLES]
- 00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:52,791 - Okay. I put most of the stuff away. - Oh, great. The pacifiers?
- 00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:55,627 - Uh, it's in the, uh, cupboard. - The, uh, burping cloths?
- 00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:58,630 - Uh, linen closet. - The diapers?
- 00:04:58,798 --> 00:05:00,257 In the hospital.
- 00:05:01,926 --> 00:05:04,636 Wow, you guys got a hospital? Fancy.
- 00:05:04,804 --> 00:05:06,847 No, I, uh, left the diapers at the hospital.
- 00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:09,891 There's some in the bag, but I'll run out and get some more.
- 00:05:10,059 --> 00:05:13,645 All right, thanks. Oh, could you stop at the coffeehouse and get me a muffin?
- 00:05:13,813 --> 00:05:17,357 - Oh, sure. What kind? - Um, let me think.
- 00:05:17,525 --> 00:05:22,904 What do I want?
- 00:05:23,072 --> 00:05:26,158 Please, take your time. It's an important decision, not like...
- 00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:31,204 ...say, I don't know, deciding to marry someone. This is about a muffin.
- 00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:35,751 - Blueberry. - Blueberry it is.
- 00:05:35,918 --> 00:05:37,836 Thank you.
- 00:05:38,921 --> 00:05:40,922 - Wow, he's not letting this go, is he? RACHEL: Unh.
- 00:05:41,090 --> 00:05:43,425 God, how long do you think that's gonna last?
- 00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:47,554 I don't know. He got over the "We were on a break" thing quickly.
- 00:05:48,848 --> 00:05:51,350 You know what, I can't worry about it right now.
- 00:05:51,517 --> 00:05:54,811 - Because I've got the cutie little baby. MONICA: Hmm.
- 00:05:54,979 --> 00:06:00,150 Oh. I can't believe how much I love her. I mean, I can't get enough of her.
- 00:06:00,318 --> 00:06:02,694 Like, right now? I miss her. I actually miss her.
- 00:06:03,696 --> 00:06:05,906 You know, that's her?
- 00:06:08,159 --> 00:06:13,038 Oh, God, look at her sleeping. Oh, I love her so much.
- 00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:15,499 - I think I'm gonna wake her up. Ha, ha. - Oh, Rach, no.
- 00:06:15,666 --> 00:06:18,335 You know, you're never supposed to wake a sleeping baby.
- 00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:20,962 Well, I can do whatever I want. I made her.
- 00:06:22,465 --> 00:06:27,177 Come on, little girl. Oh, yes. Hello, Emma. Hello. Hi.
- 00:06:27,345 --> 00:06:30,305 [EMMA CRYING]
- 00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:36,311 Well, I would say I told you so, but she's kind of doing that for me.
- 00:06:36,979 --> 00:06:40,190 I'm sorry. Oh, Mommy's so sorry. Go back to sleep. Shh, shh, shh.
- 00:06:40,358 --> 00:06:42,275 Go back to sleep.
- 00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:46,822 - Oh, it breaks your heart, doesn't it? - Oh, it really does.
- 00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:50,450 How long do you think we have to stay?
- 00:06:52,286 --> 00:06:54,788 Okay, if everyone's on board, it's settled.
- 00:06:54,956 --> 00:06:56,957 Chandler?
- 00:07:03,172 --> 00:07:04,506 - Chandler? - Yeah.
- 00:07:04,674 --> 00:07:06,675 McKENNA: Are you on board?
- 00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:09,344 Yes.
- 00:07:10,054 --> 00:07:13,557 Well, then problem solved. Chandler will run our office in Tulsa.
- 00:07:13,724 --> 00:07:16,184 You're gonna love Oklahoma.
- 00:07:18,312 --> 00:07:19,896 [EMMA CRYING]
- 00:07:20,064 --> 00:07:23,733 All right. We already tried feeding her, changing her, burping her...
- 00:07:23,901 --> 00:07:28,029 Oh, try this one. "Go back in time and listen to Phoebe."
- 00:07:30,158 --> 00:07:32,242 - All right, here's something. RACHEL: What?
- 00:07:32,410 --> 00:07:34,911 It says to try holding the baby close to your body...
- 00:07:35,079 --> 00:07:37,622 ...and then swing her rapidly from side to side.
- 00:07:38,332 --> 00:07:40,000 Okay.
- 00:07:45,756 --> 00:07:47,757 [CRYING STOPS]
- 00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:49,801 It worked!
- 00:07:49,969 --> 00:07:51,261 [RACHEL EXCLAIMS THEN EMMA GAGS]
- 00:07:51,429 --> 00:07:53,763 Oh. No. Just stopped to throw up a little bit.
- 00:07:53,931 --> 00:07:54,973 Oh.
- 00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:56,433 [EMMA CRYING]
- 00:07:56,601 --> 00:07:58,185 Oh. Mon, what am I gonna do?
- 00:07:58,352 --> 00:08:01,813 It's been hours, and it won't stop crying.
- 00:08:03,065 --> 00:08:07,319 - She, Rach. Not it. She. - Yeah. I'm not so sure.
- 00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:11,573 - Oh, my God, I'm losing my mind. - Yeah, no kidding.
- 00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:15,494 All right, this just proves no good can come from having sex with Ross!
- 00:08:20,458 --> 00:08:24,628 Hey, Gunther. Can I get a couple of blueberry muffins to go?
- 00:08:24,795 --> 00:08:27,005 - Diapers, huh? - Yep.
- 00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:28,965 So I guess Rachel had your baby?
- 00:08:29,634 --> 00:08:33,053 - Yep. Can you believe it? - Nope.
- 00:08:33,596 --> 00:08:36,806 I can't even believe she slept with you in the first place.
- 00:08:37,391 --> 00:08:38,892 Huh?
- 00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:42,771 Oh. Oh. You, ha, ha, mean, like, uh...
- 00:08:43,064 --> 00:08:44,731 Huh?
- 00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:51,071 Hey.
- 00:08:53,115 --> 00:08:55,951 I know you're pissed at me, but we have to talk about this.
- 00:08:56,118 --> 00:08:58,787 Uh, actually, uh, we don't.
- 00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:03,291 Fine. Okay. But I gotta say, technically, I didn't even do anything wrong.
- 00:09:04,919 --> 00:09:08,004 What? You didn't do anything wrong?
- 00:09:08,172 --> 00:09:11,841 - I said I didn't technically. ROSS: Okay.
- 00:09:12,009 --> 00:09:14,511 Let's put aside the fact that you "accidentally"...
- 00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:19,099 ...picked up my grandmother's ring and you "accidentally" proposed to Rachel.
- 00:09:19,267 --> 00:09:21,184 Can I just stop you there for a second?
- 00:09:21,352 --> 00:09:22,936 When people do this:
- 00:09:23,104 --> 00:09:25,438 I don't really know what that means.
- 00:09:29,777 --> 00:09:31,027 [JOEY CLEARS THROAT]
- 00:09:31,195 --> 00:09:32,362 You were saying?
- 00:09:32,530 --> 00:09:36,408 And I could even understand that you couldn't tell Rachel.
- 00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:40,579 But why couldn't you tell me, huh? You had all day to, and you didn't.
- 00:09:40,746 --> 00:09:44,749 I know. I should've. "I'm sorry."
- 00:09:50,381 --> 00:09:52,090 Not using it right, Joe.
- 00:09:52,633 --> 00:09:55,552 [WHISPERS] Oh. "I'm sorry."
- 00:09:58,639 --> 00:10:00,015 - I'm gonna go. - No, come on.
- 00:10:00,182 --> 00:10:02,559 - Ross, we have to get past this. - Give me the bag.
- 00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:05,979 No, I don't know what else to do. I said I'm sorry, now...
- 00:10:06,147 --> 00:10:09,024 Now you should scream at me or curse me or hit me.
- 00:10:09,191 --> 00:10:11,735 - I'm not gonna hit you. - You'll feel better. I'll feel better.
- 00:10:11,902 --> 00:10:12,986 [ROSS SIGHS]
- 00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:15,614 You know you want to, I can see it in your eyes.
- 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:17,574 - No, I don't. - A little bit.
- 00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:19,451 - No. - Little bit.
- 00:10:20,578 --> 00:10:22,746 - No. - A little bit more.
- 00:10:22,913 --> 00:10:25,582 - Give me the bag. Give me the bag. - No, hit me. Hit me.
- 00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:27,876 - Give me the bag. I'm not kidding. - Hit me.
- 00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:29,461 - No. - Hit me. Hit me. Hit me!
- 00:10:32,089 --> 00:10:33,882 [SHRIEKING]
- 00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:45,769 - You ducked! - I'm sorry! It was a reflex!
- 00:10:45,936 --> 00:10:49,356 - Oh, my God! This really hurts! - I couldn't help it.
- 00:10:49,523 --> 00:10:52,692 When a fist comes at your face, you duck. Look.
- 00:10:52,860 --> 00:10:54,194 [GRUNTS]
- 00:10:55,529 --> 00:10:58,073 What is the matter with you?
- 00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:00,325 You were supposed to duck! Why didn't you?
- 00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:02,494 Let's talk on the way to the hospital.
- 00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:06,956 Good. Yeah, maybe while we're there, they can check your reflexes.
- 00:11:10,795 --> 00:11:12,796 Oops!
- 00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:21,846 [EMMA CRYING]
- 00:11:23,557 --> 00:11:26,559 - Try feeding her again. - I already fed her.
- 00:11:26,727 --> 00:11:29,437 I know. That's why I said, "Again!"
- 00:11:30,606 --> 00:11:32,982 You guys, we can't turn on each other, okay?
- 00:11:33,150 --> 00:11:35,276 That's just what she wants.
- 00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:37,070 - Hi. - Hey.
- 00:11:37,238 --> 00:11:38,905 Monica, can I talk to you outside?
- 00:11:39,073 --> 00:11:42,617 Just stay here. I'm gonna check her diaper. Pheebs, you wanna come?
- 00:11:42,785 --> 00:11:45,704 Oh, I'm kind of part of this.
- 00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:50,333 Actually, it's a husband-and-wife kind of thing.
- 00:11:50,501 --> 00:11:53,002 I knew I should've married Chandler.
- 00:11:54,630 --> 00:11:57,340 MONICA: Okay, what's up? - Okay. Um, ahem.
- 00:11:57,508 --> 00:12:00,468 You know we said it would be fun to move to Paris for a year?
- 00:12:00,636 --> 00:12:03,763 And you could study French cooking, and I could write...
- 00:12:03,931 --> 00:12:07,392 ...and we could picnic along the Seine, and go wine-tasting in Bordeaux.
- 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:10,103 - Oh, yeah. - Okay.
- 00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:13,314 You know how people say that Tulsa...
- 00:12:15,192 --> 00:12:17,318 ...is the Paris of Oklahoma?
- 00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:21,406 What? Who says that?
- 00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:25,118 People who have never been to Paris?
- 00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:28,621 - Well, what's going on? - We're moving to Tulsa.
- 00:12:28,789 --> 00:12:30,415 [MOUTHS] Oh.
- 00:12:32,877 --> 00:12:35,211 - Excuse me? - Okay.
- 00:12:35,379 --> 00:12:37,714 Ms. McKenna, she kind of, uh, works above my boss...
- 00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:41,551 She asked me to move to Tulsa and be president of our office there.
- 00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:44,929 And I was sleeping and apparently said yes.
- 00:12:45,097 --> 00:12:48,683 - Tulsa, Oklahoma? - The Sooner State.
- 00:12:50,144 --> 00:12:51,978 Whatever that is.
- 00:12:52,521 --> 00:12:55,565 Chandler, I don't even want to see the musical Oklahoma.
- 00:12:55,733 --> 00:12:58,610 "Oh, What a Beautiful Mornin"'? "Surrey With the Fringe on Top"?
- 00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:02,781 Are you trying to tell me we're moving to Oklahoma or that you're gay?
- 00:13:04,867 --> 00:13:08,703 All right, not that this matters, but did they at least offer you a huge raise?
- 00:13:08,871 --> 00:13:13,208 No. But they are going to lease us a Ford Focus.
- 00:13:15,127 --> 00:13:16,669 - I'll get out of it. - Thank you.
- 00:13:16,837 --> 00:13:18,171 [EMMA CONTINUES CRYING]
- 00:13:18,339 --> 00:13:20,507 - What is wrong with Emma? - Oh, she misunderstood.
- 00:13:20,674 --> 00:13:22,634 She thought she was moving to Tulsa.
- 00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:29,933 Ma'am, uh, do you have a minute?
- 00:13:30,518 --> 00:13:34,395 I kind of have some bad news. I don't think I can move to Tulsa.
- 00:13:34,980 --> 00:13:37,982 - What? - Uh, it's a funny story, actually.
- 00:13:38,150 --> 00:13:39,734 Ha, ha. Ahem.
- 00:13:39,902 --> 00:13:43,738 Um, I kind of fell asleep in the meeting this morning.
- 00:13:43,906 --> 00:13:47,408 So when I said I'd move to Tulsa, I didn't really know what I was saying.
- 00:13:47,576 --> 00:13:48,827 You fell asleep?
- 00:13:48,994 --> 00:13:51,996 But only because I was up all night worried about this meeting.
- 00:13:52,164 --> 00:13:53,832 Isn't that funny?
- 00:13:55,042 --> 00:13:57,710 Irony. Not a fan? All right.
- 00:13:58,504 --> 00:13:59,546 [CHANDLER CLEARS THROAT]
- 00:13:59,713 --> 00:14:01,047 See, here's the thing.
- 00:14:01,215 --> 00:14:04,843 I went home and told my wife about Tulsa, and she won't go.
- 00:14:05,010 --> 00:14:08,429 See me, I love Tulsa. Tulsa is heaven. Tulsa is Italy.
- 00:14:08,597 --> 00:14:11,015 Please don't make me go there.
- 00:14:11,183 --> 00:14:12,725 - Chandler, I... - No, no, no.
- 00:14:12,935 --> 00:14:16,062 Look, Carol. Can I call you Carol?
- 00:14:17,398 --> 00:14:19,858 Why would I when your name is Elaine?
- 00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:24,904 Sorry. Oh!
- 00:14:25,072 --> 00:14:27,740 What a great picture of your son. Strapping.
- 00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:32,453 That's a picture of your daughter, isn't it?
- 00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:36,749 Well, she's lovely. I like a girl with a strong jaw.
- 00:14:39,336 --> 00:14:41,754 I'll call you from Tulsa.
- 00:14:46,218 --> 00:14:48,803 Hey. So, uh, how is it?
- 00:14:48,971 --> 00:14:52,432 - I broke my thumb. - Your thumb?
- 00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:58,146 That's weird. Are you sure you're punching right?
- 00:14:58,314 --> 00:15:00,440 Make a fist.
- 00:15:01,650 --> 00:15:03,484 Maybe later.
- 00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:05,570 Ross, I feel terrible.
- 00:15:05,738 --> 00:15:10,033 You know what, you can go. I just have to, uh, fill out some forms.
- 00:15:14,663 --> 00:15:16,623 You, uh, want me to help you with that?
- 00:15:16,790 --> 00:15:20,627 Why, does it look like I'm having trouble with my misshapen claw?
- 00:15:23,714 --> 00:15:26,049 Name?
- 00:15:27,635 --> 00:15:30,511 No, I know Ross. But what's it short for?
- 00:15:30,679 --> 00:15:32,722 You know, like Rossell.
- 00:15:33,223 --> 00:15:34,682 Or, uh...
- 00:15:34,850 --> 00:15:37,143 Or Rosstrophor.
- 00:15:37,311 --> 00:15:38,436 Just Ross.
- 00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:40,271 Oh.
- 00:15:40,481 --> 00:15:41,522 It's pretty.
- 00:15:43,359 --> 00:15:46,694 - Okay, date of birth? - You know my birthday.
- 00:15:46,862 --> 00:15:48,780 Sure.
- 00:15:49,323 --> 00:15:53,451 May... tember?
- 00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:58,957 - October 18. - Occupation? Dinosaurs.
- 00:16:00,584 --> 00:16:05,964 Actually, I'm a paleon... Dinosaurs is fine.
- 00:16:06,465 --> 00:16:08,049 The drawing is not.
- 00:16:11,595 --> 00:16:12,637 [JOEY CLEARS THROAT]
- 00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:16,057 All right. Uh, who do you want as your emergency contact?
- 00:16:16,225 --> 00:16:20,269 - Uh, Rachel, I guess. - Okay. Relationship?
- 00:16:20,437 --> 00:16:22,105 Ooh, boy, this could take a while.
- 00:16:24,733 --> 00:16:26,442 Just, uh...
- 00:16:26,610 --> 00:16:28,861 - Just put roommate. - Come on.
- 00:16:29,029 --> 00:16:30,363 You guys are more than that.
- 00:16:30,531 --> 00:16:32,448 - You're gonna get together, right? - Ahem.
- 00:16:32,616 --> 00:16:34,659 I don't think that we are.
- 00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:38,913 But you two are supposed to be together.
- 00:16:39,081 --> 00:16:42,375 Well, I thought so too. But then she said she'd marry you.
- 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:45,086 Come on, Ross, that didn't mean anything.
- 00:16:45,254 --> 00:16:48,798 She'd just had the baby. She was all freaked out about doing it alone.
- 00:16:48,966 --> 00:16:52,343 - She would have said yes to anybody. - Yeah, that's what she said.
- 00:16:52,511 --> 00:16:55,805 - So? - So I don't want to be just anybody.
- 00:16:59,101 --> 00:17:00,601 - Wow. - You know what?
- 00:17:00,769 --> 00:17:03,855 It's better this way anyway.
- 00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:05,064 [SIGHS]
- 00:17:05,232 --> 00:17:08,443 I don't know what I was thinking, going down that road again with us.
- 00:17:08,610 --> 00:17:13,865 It's just much easier if we're just friends who have a kid.
- 00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:15,408 - Really? - Yeah.
- 00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:20,204 - And you're okay with that? - Yes. That's what we always planned.
- 00:17:20,372 --> 00:17:22,832 And if you have a plan, you should stick to it.
- 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:26,335 That's why they call them plans. Hello? Ha, ha.
- 00:17:29,006 --> 00:17:30,673 I'm fine.
- 00:17:31,675 --> 00:17:33,384 Hey, for what it's worth...
- 00:17:33,552 --> 00:17:38,014 ...with Rachel, I don't think you'll ever be just "anybody."
- 00:17:38,182 --> 00:17:40,099 Hey, there you go.
- 00:17:42,352 --> 00:17:43,394 "Thanks."
- 00:17:46,815 --> 00:17:49,692 [EMMA CRYING]
- 00:17:49,860 --> 00:17:53,446 Oh, my God. How long has she been crying?
- 00:17:53,614 --> 00:17:55,948 - About a week and a half. - Oh.
- 00:17:56,116 --> 00:18:00,787 Well, it looks like you guys got it under control, so I'm just gonna go.
- 00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:05,458 No? Really? Misery really does love company?
- 00:18:05,626 --> 00:18:07,001 All right.
- 00:18:07,169 --> 00:18:08,252 [RACHEL GRUNTS]
- 00:18:08,420 --> 00:18:12,256 - Try holding her a different way. - Look, I'm doing the best I can.
- 00:18:12,424 --> 00:18:15,593 - Anyone else is welcome to try. - All right, I'll try. Fine.
- 00:18:15,761 --> 00:18:18,012 - Yes. Okay. RACHEL: Okay, here you go.
- 00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:19,931 - Okay. RACHEL: Oh, gosh.
- 00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:21,140 Shh.
- 00:18:21,308 --> 00:18:23,476 Nothing works with this child!
- 00:18:24,394 --> 00:18:28,356 Oh, God, what am I gonna do, you guys? I can't even comfort my own baby.
- 00:18:28,524 --> 00:18:31,317 - I'm the worst mother ever. - No, you're just new at this.
- 00:18:31,485 --> 00:18:34,487 You'll get better. Think about your first day at work.
- 00:18:34,655 --> 00:18:37,281 That couldn't have been easy, but you figured that out.
- 00:18:37,449 --> 00:18:41,786 Yeah, I don't think dressing provocatively is going to help me here!
- 00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:46,124 - Oh, God, just please take her. - Okay, I'll take her. Come here.
- 00:18:46,291 --> 00:18:48,376 RACHEL: Oh, I have to go to the bathroom.
- 00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:52,088 - Okay. - I have to go scream into a pillow.
- 00:18:55,884 --> 00:19:00,263 Bouncy. Bouncy baby. Bouncy baby.
- 00:19:00,430 --> 00:19:05,351 Oh, baby, baby. Oh, baby, baby.
- 00:19:05,519 --> 00:19:07,103 Oh, baby, baby, baby.
- 00:19:07,271 --> 00:19:08,688 [CRYING STOPS]
- 00:19:08,856 --> 00:19:10,314 [PHOEBE GASPS]
- 00:19:10,482 --> 00:19:12,692 Have I gone deaf?
- 00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:20,992 It worked. Oh, baby, baby, baby. Oh, baby, baby, baby.
- 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,828 You must be a fireball in bed!
- 00:19:25,455 --> 00:19:30,418 I can't believe it. She's asleep. I got her to go to sleep.
- 00:19:30,586 --> 00:19:31,627 Oh.
- 00:19:31,795 --> 00:19:33,880 I have actual magical powers.
- 00:19:35,883 --> 00:19:38,426 I can hear traffic and birds.
- 00:19:38,594 --> 00:19:41,137 I can hear the voices in my head again.
- 00:19:41,305 --> 00:19:42,722 [PHOEBE CHUCKLES]
- 00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:45,183 I'm kidding.
- 00:19:48,228 --> 00:19:52,023 Oh, my God! You got her to stop crying!
- 00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:56,360 Yes, I did. I'm Monica, super aunt.
- 00:19:56,945 --> 00:20:00,865 - You are the official baby-crier stopper. - Yes, I am.
- 00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:05,161 - Oh. You're never leaving the apartment. - Say what?
- 00:20:05,329 --> 00:20:09,749 That's your new job, day or night. She starts crying, I need you here.
- 00:20:09,917 --> 00:20:13,711 - Oh, no, no, no. - Thankfully, you don't need me at all.
- 00:20:13,879 --> 00:20:18,049 So okay. Hey, super aunt? See you later. Ha, ha.
- 00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:21,719 Rachel? Let's give it six to eight months.
- 00:20:23,931 --> 00:20:25,181 [DOOR CLOSES]
- 00:20:25,349 --> 00:20:27,350 Oh.
- 00:20:30,729 --> 00:20:33,314 Okay, so listen, I'm gonna go lay down.
- 00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:35,274 What?
- 00:20:35,442 --> 00:20:38,486 The book says whenever she's sleeping, I should be sleeping.
- 00:20:38,654 --> 00:20:40,321 So...
- 00:20:41,823 --> 00:20:43,241 [MOUTHS] Thank you.
- 00:20:46,745 --> 00:20:48,496 - Hey. - Shh.
- 00:20:48,664 --> 00:20:52,917 - We just got her to go to sleep. - Oh, so there can't be any yelling?
- 00:20:54,795 --> 00:20:55,836 No.
- 00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:00,967 We're moving to Tulsa.
- 00:21:01,176 --> 00:21:02,927 - What?! - Shh. Shh.
- 00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:04,303 - Chandler... - Shh.
- 00:21:04,471 --> 00:21:05,972 Shh!
- 00:21:06,139 --> 00:21:07,932 [WHISPERS] I can't... I can't hear.
- 00:21:14,898 --> 00:21:18,943 - Hey. - Hey. Where have you been?
- 00:21:19,528 --> 00:21:20,861 [RACHEL GASPS]
- 00:21:21,029 --> 00:21:24,407 - What happened to you? - Uh, I had a little thing with Joey.
- 00:21:24,574 --> 00:21:26,867 If you think this is bad, you should see him. Ha, ha.
- 00:21:27,703 --> 00:21:30,913 Oh. No, Ross, this is not good.
- 00:21:31,081 --> 00:21:34,208 We have to talk about this Joey thing. Please sit.
- 00:21:36,962 --> 00:21:38,212 [ROSS SIGHS]
- 00:21:38,380 --> 00:21:42,091 All right, you have got to get over this Joey thing.
- 00:21:42,676 --> 00:21:47,638 Okay? I never really wanted to marry Joey, okay?
- 00:21:49,599 --> 00:21:50,641 Okay.
- 00:21:52,477 --> 00:21:55,146 You know what I really, really want?
- 00:21:57,316 --> 00:21:59,317 What, Rach?
- 00:22:00,485 --> 00:22:02,945 I wanna sleep.
- 00:22:04,072 --> 00:22:08,909 I wanna eat. I wanna take a shower.
- 00:22:09,578 --> 00:22:12,705 I mean, before she wakes up, and we gotta do this all over again.
- 00:22:13,999 --> 00:22:17,335 - Right. - I mean, because I got news for you.
- 00:22:17,502 --> 00:22:20,546 Emma: Not easy.
- 00:22:21,590 --> 00:22:25,676 - Well, that's what I'm here for. - Mm-hm.
- 00:22:25,844 --> 00:22:27,845 [EMMA CRYING]
- 00:22:28,638 --> 00:22:31,724 - You want me to get that? - No, that's really okay.
- 00:22:31,892 --> 00:22:36,228 - Monica? - Got it, got it, got it, got it.
- 00:22:46,907 --> 00:22:50,451 Uh, I've been thinking about this. And I gotta tell you, it's not my fault.
- 00:22:50,619 --> 00:22:53,412 - It's a natural instinct. - What are you talking about?
- 00:22:53,580 --> 00:22:56,457 Okay, what would you do if I did this?
- 00:23:10,514 --> 00:23:12,515 [English - US - SDH]
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