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Эпизод с интервью Джоуи
The One with Joey's Interview
Сезон: 08Серия: 19
Описание
Джоуи готовится к интервью для журнала Soap Opera Digest, хотя и боится сказать что-нибудь глупое, что может поставить под угрозу его карьеру. (В одном из предыдущих эпизодов, в интервью, он сказал, что сам пишет много реплик, что и привело к его увольнению из сериала «Дни нашей жизни».) Джоуи просит друзей помочь ему, чтобы всё прошло хорошо. Это четвёртый из шести эпизодов-нарезок сериала «Друзья».
Субтитры
- 00:00:02,878 --> 00:00:04,380 - Hi. GROUP: Hi.
- 00:00:04,547 --> 00:00:07,758 So I'm in my apartment doing the Soap Opera <i>Digest</i> crossword puzzle...
- 00:00:07,925 --> 00:00:11,637 ...and guess who is the clue for three down?
- 00:00:11,804 --> 00:00:15,683 <i>Three down. "Days of Our Lives star, blank Tribbiani."</i>
- 00:00:15,850 --> 00:00:19,103 That's me! I'm blank! Hey.
- 00:00:19,270 --> 00:00:23,190 How cool is. We know three down. I'm touching three down.
- 00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:25,317 Yeah, you are, baby.
- 00:00:25,484 --> 00:00:26,819 Three down knows I'm married.
- 00:00:26,986 --> 00:00:29,280 - What's three down doing? - Sorry.
- 00:00:29,447 --> 00:00:32,116 So do they call you to tell you your name's gonna be in this?
- 00:00:32,283 --> 00:00:33,743 No. They really liked me there.
- 00:00:33,909 --> 00:00:35,995 They wanted to do a profile on me. I said no.
- 00:00:36,162 --> 00:00:37,621 Why'd you say no?
- 00:00:37,788 --> 00:00:40,458 Remember what happened the last time I did an interview?
- 00:00:40,624 --> 00:00:44,086 I said I write a lot of my own lines, then the writers got mad...
- 00:00:44,253 --> 00:00:46,672 ...and made my character fell down the elevator shaft.
- 00:00:46,839 --> 00:00:49,008 So who knows what I might say this time?
- 00:00:49,175 --> 00:00:53,345 If only there was something in your head to control the things you say.
- 00:00:53,512 --> 00:00:57,183 Oh, come on, Joey, you'll totally keep it in check this time.
- 00:00:57,349 --> 00:01:00,144 And plus, you know, the publicity would be really good for your career.
- 00:01:00,311 --> 00:01:01,896 And you deserve that.
- 00:01:02,063 --> 00:01:04,482 And if you do the interview, you could mention...
- 00:01:04,648 --> 00:01:07,526 ...oh, I don't know, gal pal Rachel Green.
- 00:01:07,693 --> 00:01:11,072 Is that "gal pal" spelled L-O-S-E-R?
- 00:01:12,615 --> 00:01:14,408 Okay, don't listen to him. Please?
- 00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:16,869 Fine, all right, I'll do it.
- 00:01:17,036 --> 00:01:18,996 But, hey. You guys have to be at the next table...
- 00:01:19,163 --> 00:01:22,041 ...so you can stop me if I, you know, start to say something stupid.
- 00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:27,129 Just then or all the time? Because we have jobs, you know?
- 00:01:28,047 --> 00:01:31,634 Come on, we will be there for you the whole time. Just remember:
- 00:01:31,801 --> 00:01:34,804 Gal pal, Rachel Green.
- 00:01:35,805 --> 00:01:37,640 <i>I'm gonna be in Soap Opera Digest.</i>
- 00:01:37,807 --> 00:01:40,935 And not just in the dumb crossword puzzle.
- 00:01:41,936 --> 00:01:44,146 - Seriously, proud of you. - Yeah.
- 00:02:24,770 --> 00:02:27,106 I really appreciate you taking the time to do this.
- 00:02:27,273 --> 00:02:29,441 Oh, not at all. Happy to do it.
- 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:33,362 You think we're being obvious?
- 00:02:33,529 --> 00:02:37,950 No. We're just four people with neck problems, who talk like this.
- 00:02:38,701 --> 00:02:41,328 I think it's great that you wanted to meet here.
- 00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:44,039 When most people hear that the magazine's paying for it...
- 00:02:44,206 --> 00:02:47,793 ...they want a big, fancy restaurant.
- 00:02:48,335 --> 00:02:50,421 Actually, I didn't know the magazine was paying.
- 00:02:52,173 --> 00:02:53,257 Wouldn't have mattered.
- 00:02:53,424 --> 00:02:56,886 I'm doing this for the fans, not the free food. Ha, ha.
- 00:02:57,052 --> 00:02:59,555 - Can I get you anything? - I'll have a cup of coffee.
- 00:02:59,722 --> 00:03:01,932 Yeah, and I'll have all the muffins.
- 00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:08,022 - Hey. - Shh. We're not talking.
- 00:03:08,189 --> 00:03:10,566 Oh, finally. Ugh.
- 00:03:12,276 --> 00:03:16,739 So according to your bio, you've done quite a bit of work before Days of Our <i>Lives.</i>
- 00:03:16,947 --> 00:03:19,700 Anything that you're particularly proud of?
- 00:03:22,453 --> 00:03:25,623 <i>[SINGING] All you want is a dingle</i>
- 00:03:25,789 --> 00:03:28,876 <i>What you envy's a shwang</i>
- 00:03:29,043 --> 00:03:32,463 <i>A thing through which you can tinkle</i>
- 00:03:32,630 --> 00:03:35,299 <i>Or play with, or simply let hang</i>
- 00:03:50,314 --> 00:03:53,567 <i>Folks, this ever happen to you? You go to the fridge to get a glass of milk...</i>
- 00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:57,112 <i>...but these darn cartons are so fringing-flanging hard to open.</i>
- 00:03:57,279 --> 00:03:59,323 <i>Boy, you said it, Mike. I don't--</i>
- 00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:01,575 <i>Oh, oh.</i>
- 00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:05,454 <i>- There's gotta be a better way. - And there is, Kevin.</i>
- 00:04:05,621 --> 00:04:07,414 <i>He's never used this product before.</i>
- 00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:10,000 <i>You're gonna see how easy this is to do. Go ahead.</i>
- 00:04:10,793 --> 00:04:13,837 <i>- This works in any milk carton. - Wow, it is easy.</i>
- 00:04:14,004 --> 00:04:17,675 <i>- Now I can have milk every day. CROWD: Ah.</i>
- 00:04:18,550 --> 00:04:20,803 So this is it, Victor?
- 00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:25,933 Yeah, I guess it is. And so...
- 00:04:27,476 --> 00:04:30,980 ...I'm gonna get on this spaceship...
- 00:04:37,319 --> 00:04:40,906 ...and I'm gonna go to Blargon 7 in search of alternative fuels.
- 00:04:42,574 --> 00:04:49,081 But when I return 200 years from now, you'll be long gone.
- 00:04:49,290 --> 00:04:51,875 But I won't have aged at all.
- 00:04:54,962 --> 00:05:00,050 So you tell your great-great- granddaughter to look me up.
- 00:05:02,136 --> 00:05:04,138 Because, Adrian...
- 00:05:04,305 --> 00:05:05,806 ."baby".
- 00:05:07,599 --> 00:05:08,934 ...I'm gonna want to meet her.
- 00:05:18,027 --> 00:05:21,780 Shh, shh. Okay, here I come. Here I come. See, I'm coming to fix the copier.
- 00:05:21,947 --> 00:05:25,826 I can't get to the copier. I'm thinking, "What do I do? What do I do?"
- 00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:32,916 So I just watch them have sex. And then I say-- Wait, here's my line:
- 00:05:33,083 --> 00:05:36,420 <i>JOEY [ON TV]: You know, that's bad for the paper tray.</i>
- 00:05:38,130 --> 00:05:41,675 - Nice work, my friend. - Wait, wait, wait, you see me again.
- 00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:44,219 Hang on, the guy's butt's blocking me.
- 00:05:45,054 --> 00:05:48,182 There I am. There I am. There I am.
- 00:05:49,224 --> 00:05:53,145 Well, there are so many things, you know, it's hard to pickjust one.
- 00:05:53,812 --> 00:05:56,482 - I'm gonna get some coffee. Want anything? RACHEL: Oh, yeah.
- 00:05:56,648 --> 00:06:00,944 - A blueberry muffin and chamomile tea. - Double latte, extra foam.
- 00:06:01,111 --> 00:06:03,781 - And a bagel with only-- - I was just being polite.
- 00:06:06,158 --> 00:06:08,410 Okay. How about when you're not working?
- 00:06:08,577 --> 00:06:10,704 What do you do in your spare time?
- 00:06:11,163 --> 00:06:12,748 [HORN HONKS]
- 00:06:12,915 --> 00:06:15,292 Look at this clown. Just because he's got a bigger boat...
- 00:06:15,459 --> 00:06:17,419 ...he thinks he can take up the whole river.
- 00:06:17,586 --> 00:06:20,297 Get out of the way, jackass!
- 00:06:22,049 --> 00:06:25,052 Who names their boat Coast Guard, anyway?
- 00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:29,139 That is the Coast Guard.
- 00:06:29,306 --> 00:06:32,810 What are they doing out here? The coast is all the way over there.
- 00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:36,397 - Hi. - Hey, check it out. This is unbelievable.
- 00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:39,858 Joey has been holding his breath for almost four minutes.
- 00:06:45,489 --> 00:06:47,282 Dude, are you trying to kill me?
- 00:06:54,289 --> 00:06:57,334 Well, I see you've had a very productive day.
- 00:06:57,960 --> 00:06:59,837 Don't you think the cowboy hat is a little much?
- 00:07:00,003 --> 00:07:02,089 Come on, it's fun.
- 00:07:05,134 --> 00:07:06,635 All right.
- 00:07:13,559 --> 00:07:15,853 Isn't this a woman's hat?
- 00:07:16,019 --> 00:07:18,021 Dude, stop talking crazy and make us some tea.
- 00:07:20,482 --> 00:07:23,235 You know what? We have to turn off the porn.
- 00:07:24,069 --> 00:07:25,863 I think you're right.
- 00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:29,783 CHANDLER: All right, ready? JOEY: One.
- 00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:32,035 CHANDLER: Two, three. JOEY: Three.
- 00:07:36,582 --> 00:07:38,333 That's kind of nice.
- 00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:41,086 - Yeah, it's kind of a relief. - Yeah.
- 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:49,803 - You wanna see if we still have it? - Yeah.
- 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:54,349 - Free porn! We have free porn here! - Yeah.
- 00:07:54,766 --> 00:07:57,811 In my spare time, I, uh, read to the blind.
- 00:07:57,978 --> 00:08:00,397 And I'm also a mento for kids.
- 00:08:02,274 --> 00:08:05,611 - A mento? - You know, a mento. A role model.
- 00:08:08,572 --> 00:08:10,616 - A mento? - Right.
- 00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:13,076 - Like the candy? - As a matter of fact, I do.
- 00:08:16,705 --> 00:08:19,500 Well, um, another thing that our readers always want to know...
- 00:08:19,666 --> 00:08:22,586 ...is how soap stars stay in such great shape.
- 00:08:22,753 --> 00:08:24,421 Do you have some kind of a fitness regime?
- 00:08:24,755 --> 00:08:30,093 Uh, we stars usually just try to eat right and get lots of exercise.
- 00:08:31,053 --> 00:08:35,098 Wow, you realize we've been throwing this ball without dropping it for an hour?
- 00:08:35,307 --> 00:08:36,517 Are you serious?
- 00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:39,394 I realized it a half-hour ago, but I didn't want to say anything...
- 00:08:39,561 --> 00:08:41,855 ...because I didn't want to jinx it.
- 00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:45,692 - Wow, we are pretty good at this. - Yeah.
- 00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:47,694 Hey, we totally forgot about lunch.
- 00:08:47,903 --> 00:08:51,865 Oh. I think that's the first time I've ever missed a meal.
- 00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:54,826 Yeah, I think my pants are a little loose.
- 00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:58,622 What's wrong with you?
- 00:08:58,789 --> 00:09:03,710 Oh, I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before.
- 00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:06,797 And then I, uh, passed out.
- 00:09:07,005 --> 00:09:12,135 I haven't been able to stand up since. Ha, ha. But I don't think it's serious.
- 00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:15,305 This sounds like a hernia. You have to-- Go to the doctor.
- 00:09:15,472 --> 00:09:16,557 No way.
- 00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:18,600 Look, if I go to the doctor for anything...
- 00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:21,895 ...it's gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach.
- 00:09:24,773 --> 00:09:27,526 Why'd I have to start working out again?
- 00:09:28,193 --> 00:09:30,821 Damn you, 15's.
- 00:09:30,988 --> 00:09:33,949 - What is it? - It's a trifle. It's got all of these layers.
- 00:09:34,116 --> 00:09:37,494 First, there's a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam.
- 00:09:37,661 --> 00:09:41,123 Then custard, which I made from scratch.
- 00:09:41,290 --> 00:09:43,584 Then raspberries, more ladyfingers...
- 00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:46,003 ...then beef sautéed with peas and onions.
- 00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:48,589 Then a little bit more custard.
- 00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:52,217 It tastes like feet.
- 00:09:54,219 --> 00:09:55,929 I like it.
- 00:09:59,349 --> 00:10:03,145 - Are you kidding? - What's not to like? Custard, good.
- 00:10:03,312 --> 00:10:06,523 Jam, good. Meat, good.
- 00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:11,987 Well, you don't look good, Joe.
- 00:10:13,196 --> 00:10:16,366 Well, the fridge broke, so I had to eat everything.
- 00:10:17,326 --> 00:10:19,870 Cold cuts, ice cream, limes.
- 00:10:20,037 --> 00:10:22,831 Hey, what was in that brown jar?
- 00:10:22,998 --> 00:10:24,916 - That's still in there? - Not anymore.
- 00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:28,962 Oh, look. There's a piece that doesn't have floor on it.
- 00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:32,382 - Stick to your side. - Hey, come on, now.
- 00:10:43,518 --> 00:10:45,771 All right, what are we having?
- 00:10:49,608 --> 00:10:55,781 Uh, I don't believe in these crazy diets. You know, just everything in moderation.
- 00:10:55,947 --> 00:10:57,824 - Your muffins. - Uh...
- 00:10:59,201 --> 00:11:00,243 I'll take those to go.
- 00:11:02,037 --> 00:11:03,455 For the kids.
- 00:11:05,499 --> 00:11:07,751 Oh, I know what I wanted to ask you.
- 00:11:07,918 --> 00:11:10,671 You were on the show years ago and then they killed you off.
- 00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:11,880 What happened there?
- 00:11:12,047 --> 00:11:13,590 Oh, it's so stupid.
- 00:11:13,757 --> 00:11:16,593 I said some stuff in an interview that I shouldn't have said.
- 00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:19,012 But believe me, that is not gonna happen today.
- 00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:22,391 Understood. So, what did you say back then?
- 00:11:22,599 --> 00:11:23,725 Oh, I said that I--
- 00:11:23,892 --> 00:11:27,229 GROUP Hey, Joey! How you doing?
- 00:11:33,402 --> 00:11:36,488 You guys, this is Shelly. She's interviewing me for Soap Opera Digest.
- 00:11:36,655 --> 00:11:38,240 GROUP: Hi. - Shelly, these are my friends.
- 00:11:38,407 --> 00:11:40,242 Hi, I'm gal pal Rachel Green.
- 00:11:40,409 --> 00:11:43,370 Um, and if you want the dirt, I'm the one you come to.
- 00:11:43,537 --> 00:11:46,748 This might be Joey's baby, who knows?
- 00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:52,337 I'm just kidding. Seriously, gal pal Rachel Green.
- 00:11:52,504 --> 00:11:56,383 Who just lost the respect of her unborn child.
- 00:11:56,967 --> 00:11:59,720 - I'm gonna go get this warmed up. - Okay.
- 00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:03,348 - Joey, you're doing great. - So far, nothing stupid.
- 00:12:03,515 --> 00:12:05,600 - Mento? - No, thanks.
- 00:12:07,769 --> 00:12:10,313 So as Joey's friends...
- 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:12,774 ...is there anything you think our readers ought to know?
- 00:12:12,941 --> 00:12:15,944 Uh, no, just that he is a great guy.
- 00:12:16,111 --> 00:12:19,322 Yeah, that's gonna get you into Soap Opera <i>Digest.</i>
- 00:12:19,489 --> 00:12:20,782 Well, I--
- 00:12:20,949 --> 00:12:23,201 I would just like to say that Joey...
- 00:12:23,368 --> 00:12:27,080 ...truly has enriched the days of our lives.
- 00:12:28,623 --> 00:12:33,170 Um, I just think that you don't expect someone so hot to be so sweet.
- 00:12:33,336 --> 00:12:37,966 - Oh, I like that. What's your name? - Phoebe Buffay.
- 00:12:38,133 --> 00:12:40,177 How do you spell that? So we can get it right.
- 00:12:40,343 --> 00:12:43,638 Okay, it's P as in Phoebe. H as in Heebie.
- 00:12:43,805 --> 00:12:45,932 O as in Obie. E as in Ebie.
- 00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:50,270 B as in Beebee. And E as in, "'ello there, mate."
- 00:12:51,396 --> 00:12:54,149 Great. Well, it was nice meeting all of you.
- 00:12:54,316 --> 00:12:56,318 - Yeah, you too. - Thanks, you guys.
- 00:12:56,485 --> 00:12:57,652 MONICA: Bye.
- 00:12:57,819 --> 00:13:00,739 So it seems like you have a lot of friends.
- 00:13:00,906 --> 00:13:03,241 - Yeah. - Who would you say is your best friend?
- 00:13:06,328 --> 00:13:08,288 How come you have two?
- 00:13:09,581 --> 00:13:11,500 Well, this one's for you.
- 00:13:12,083 --> 00:13:14,920 - Get out. - No, I can't.
- 00:13:16,379 --> 00:13:19,299 No, no. Listen, I know how much this means to you.
- 00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:21,510 And I also know this is about more than jewelry.
- 00:13:21,676 --> 00:13:25,514 It's about you and me and the fact that we're best buds.
- 00:13:27,098 --> 00:13:31,895 Wow. Is this friendship? I think so.
- 00:13:32,062 --> 00:13:34,606 Check it out. We're bracelet buddies.
- 00:13:35,232 --> 00:13:37,776 That's what they'll call us.
- 00:13:39,402 --> 00:13:43,824 - Oh, Joey. I'm sorry. - It's all right. Don't worry about it.
- 00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:46,535 No, but look. Oh, that's gonna leave a stain.
- 00:13:46,701 --> 00:13:50,789 Rach, hey, it's fine. You're at Joey's.
- 00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:53,917 - Really? - Yeah, look.
- 00:13:57,128 --> 00:13:59,005 - Ha. - Yeah.
- 00:13:59,422 --> 00:14:02,801 - I've never lived like this before. - I know.
- 00:14:03,885 --> 00:14:05,971 Whoo! Ha, ha.
- 00:14:06,388 --> 00:14:10,433 Well, don't waste it. I mean, it's still food. Jeez.
- 00:14:11,017 --> 00:14:14,104 I've been feeling guilty about this. I wanna be a good friend...
- 00:14:14,271 --> 00:14:17,232 ...and damn it, I am a good friend. So shut up and close your eyes.
- 00:14:17,399 --> 00:14:18,859 Yeah, uh--
- 00:14:21,987 --> 00:14:23,321 Wow.
- 00:14:24,239 --> 00:14:26,449 You are a good friend.
- 00:14:26,616 --> 00:14:30,453 Of course, the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it.
- 00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:36,376 But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl.
- 00:14:38,670 --> 00:14:42,090 Let's get the contestants out of their isolation booths.
- 00:14:43,133 --> 00:14:46,136 And they're off. Oh.
- 00:14:46,303 --> 00:14:48,513 Get your foot off my contestant. Judge.
- 00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:51,433 - Judge rules: No violation. - Oh.
- 00:14:51,975 --> 00:14:56,229 - The duck gets the Nutter Butter. - No. Wait, that's not a Nutter Butter.
- 00:14:56,396 --> 00:15:00,442 - That's an old wonton. - Judge rules: Nutter Butter.
- 00:15:00,609 --> 00:15:03,695 - Oh. Tough call. - Yeah.
- 00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:06,656 I had seen this thing on the Discovery Channel.
- 00:15:06,823 --> 00:15:09,993 Wait a minute. I saw that. On the Discovery Channel.
- 00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:13,038 Yeah, about jellyfish, and how if you--
- 00:15:15,707 --> 00:15:19,127 Ew. You peed on yourself?
- 00:15:19,961 --> 00:15:24,758 BOTH: Ew. - You can't say that. You don't know.
- 00:15:24,925 --> 00:15:27,928 I mean, I thought I was gonna pass out from the pain.
- 00:15:28,094 --> 00:15:32,807 Anyway, I tried, but I couldn't bend that way.
- 00:15:35,393 --> 00:15:37,145 O
- 00:15:38,772 --> 00:15:40,649 GROUP Ew.
- 00:15:42,734 --> 00:15:45,570 That's right, I stepped up.
- 00:15:48,073 --> 00:15:50,867 She's my friend and she needed help.
- 00:15:51,409 --> 00:15:55,038 If I had to, I'd pee on any one of you.
- 00:15:58,750 --> 00:16:01,044 Uh, nope. No best friend.
- 00:16:01,211 --> 00:16:04,089 No, just a lot of close friends. Yeah.
- 00:16:04,923 --> 00:16:08,051 So, uh, now back to the show.
- 00:16:08,218 --> 00:16:12,305 How does it feel to have a huge gay fan base?
- 00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:14,933 Really? Me?
- 00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:18,061 Wow, I don't even know any huge gay people.
- 00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:21,731 It hurts me. It physically hurts me.
- 00:16:23,525 --> 00:16:27,153 Now, off the record, you're not...
- 00:16:28,405 --> 00:16:31,241 What? Are you referring to my man's bag?
- 00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:36,579 At first, I thought it just looked good, but it's practical too. Check it out.
- 00:16:36,746 --> 00:16:40,750 It's got compartments for all your stuff: your wallet, your keys, your address book.
- 00:16:40,917 --> 00:16:42,502 Your makeup.
- 00:16:44,004 --> 00:16:47,465 Now, should I climb down your front so we're face to face...
- 00:16:47,632 --> 00:16:52,929 ...or should I climb down your back so we're butt to face?
- 00:16:54,139 --> 00:16:56,683 - I think face is best. - Yeah, face to face.
- 00:16:57,600 --> 00:17:00,770 ROSS: Okay, here I come. - All right.
- 00:17:03,606 --> 00:17:06,317 Oh, my-- How much do you weigh, Ross?
- 00:17:07,569 --> 00:17:12,907 I'd prefer not to answer that right now. I'm still carrying a little holiday weight.
- 00:17:15,118 --> 00:17:16,661 [GASPING]
- 00:17:20,081 --> 00:17:22,292 You know, when we talked about face to face...
- 00:17:22,459 --> 00:17:25,170 ...I don't think we thought it all the way through.
- 00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:28,256 - Hey, Pheebs. - Hey.
- 00:17:30,675 --> 00:17:32,218 Check it out.
- 00:17:32,927 --> 00:17:34,429 Huh?
- 00:17:37,599 --> 00:17:40,435 - How much of a man am I? - Wow.
- 00:17:40,602 --> 00:17:44,397 Nice. Manly and also kind of a slut.
- 00:17:45,523 --> 00:17:47,817 You're turning into a woman.
- 00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:52,489 No, I'm not. Why would you say that? That's just mean.
- 00:17:54,616 --> 00:17:56,868 Now I've upset you? What did I say?
- 00:17:57,702 --> 00:18:00,330 Not what you said, it's just the way you said it.
- 00:18:01,331 --> 00:18:04,626 Oh, my God! I'm a woman!
- 00:18:13,551 --> 00:18:17,097 - Great nap. - It really was.
- 00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:18,681 [RACHEL CLEARS THROAT]
- 00:18:30,527 --> 00:18:32,779 Me? Gay? No. No. No.
- 00:18:32,946 --> 00:18:36,533 Uh, but I have a number of close friends who are.
- 00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:41,162 So let's talk about women.
- 00:18:41,329 --> 00:18:45,250 I'm sure our female readers will be interested to know about your romantic life.
- 00:18:45,416 --> 00:18:49,295 Oh, what I do is, I look a woman up and down and I say:
- 00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:53,133 "Hey. How you doing?"
- 00:18:55,218 --> 00:18:56,803 Oh, please.
- 00:18:56,970 --> 00:18:59,973 Hey. How you doing?
- 00:19:04,561 --> 00:19:07,272 Hey. How you doing?
- 00:19:07,438 --> 00:19:10,441 He has the most amazing Porsche under there.
- 00:19:10,608 --> 00:19:13,695 I'd love to show you, but I just tucked her in. She's sleeping.
- 00:19:13,862 --> 00:19:14,946 [BOTH CHUCKLING]
- 00:19:15,446 --> 00:19:18,158 Hey, would you two girls like to go for a drink?
- 00:19:24,581 --> 00:19:27,542 - Is Rachel here? I'm her sister. - Oh, my God. Jill.
- 00:19:27,709 --> 00:19:30,420 - Oh, my God. Rachel. - Oh, hi.
- 00:19:30,587 --> 00:19:34,674 - Oh, my God. Introduce us. - Well, this is Chandler.
- 00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:36,467 - Hi. - You know Monica and Ross.
- 00:19:36,634 --> 00:19:38,970 JILL: Hi. - And that's Phoebe. And that's Joey.
- 00:19:39,137 --> 00:19:40,930 - Hey, how you doing? - Don't!
- 00:19:44,934 --> 00:19:46,311 You're a really nice guy...
- 00:19:46,477 --> 00:19:49,898 ...and I'm happy to be your roommate and your friend.
- 00:19:50,064 --> 00:19:55,403 I'm just... You know, I just don't feel that way about you.
- 00:19:56,237 --> 00:20:00,533 Oh, I see what happened. Ha, ha.
- 00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:04,078 It's because I was trying to repel you. Right?
- 00:20:04,245 --> 00:20:08,541 Believe me, you'd feel a lot different if I turned it on.
- 00:20:09,959 --> 00:20:11,920 - I don't think so. - Oh, I do.
- 00:20:15,048 --> 00:20:17,175 How you doing?
- 00:20:19,093 --> 00:20:20,553 I'm okay.
- 00:20:21,304 --> 00:20:24,349 What? Oh, dear God.
- 00:20:28,186 --> 00:20:31,856 Not much to tell there. I'm really shy.
- 00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:37,195 So that's it. I guess that's all I need.
- 00:20:37,362 --> 00:20:38,696 Thank you so much.
- 00:20:38,863 --> 00:20:41,616 I think they will be running this in the beginning of next month.
- 00:20:41,783 --> 00:20:44,994 Oh, great. Great. Thank you.
- 00:20:45,161 --> 00:20:47,121 - Bye. 'Bye-bye.
- 00:20:48,331 --> 00:20:50,917 - I did it. GROUP: Amazing.
- 00:20:51,084 --> 00:20:55,672 Oh, wait, I almost forgot. We have to ask everybody this:
- 00:20:55,838 --> 00:20:59,092 Other than Days of Our <i>Lives,</i> what's your favorite soap opera?
- 00:20:59,259 --> 00:21:03,763 Oh, I don't watch soap operas. Excuse me? I have a life, you know?
- 00:21:06,516 --> 00:21:09,352 Thank you. The readers at Soap Opera Digest...
- 00:21:09,519 --> 00:21:10,812 ...will be happy to learn that.
- 00:21:10,979 --> 00:21:13,356 Oh. Good enough.
- 00:21:17,318 --> 00:21:18,736 So close.
- 00:21:24,075 --> 00:21:26,202 Wow, I can't believe they didn't put in the part...
- 00:21:26,369 --> 00:21:28,288 ...where you said you didn't watch soap operas.
- 00:21:28,454 --> 00:21:31,124 Yeah, I called the lady about that. I told her I was joking.
- 00:21:31,291 --> 00:21:32,583 She was pretty nice about it.
- 00:21:32,750 --> 00:21:35,962 - You slept with her, didn't you? - A little bit. Yeah.
- 00:21:37,588 --> 00:21:40,883 Wow. This picture of you sure is steamy.
- 00:21:41,050 --> 00:21:44,762 Oh, yeah, that's just a little something for my huge gay fan base.
- 00:21:45,638 --> 00:21:46,889 Did you just wink at me?
- 00:21:47,056 --> 00:21:49,017 Hey, you're the one who loves the picture.
- 00:21:52,145 --> 00:21:54,147 [English - US - SDH]
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