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Эпизод с видео о родах
The One with the Birthing Video
Сезон: 08Серия: 15
Описание
Фиби дает Рэйчел видеозапись родов. Чендлер, приняв запись за порнографию, смотрит ее и приходит в ужас после просмотра вместе с Моникой, что портит настроение на День святого Валентина. Росс изо всех сил пытается сказать Моне, что Рэйчел теперь живет с ним; она расстается с ним из-за его нечестности. Джоуи в депрессии, поэтому Фиби дает ему собаку, чтобы поднять ему настроение. Однако Джоуи в итоге своим депрессивным состоянием влияет на собаку. В конце концов, он рассказывает Россу о своих чувствах к Рэйчел.
Субтитры
- 00:00:03,545 --> 00:00:05,212 - Oh! Hey, Rach! - Hi.
- 00:00:05,422 --> 00:00:07,381 RACHEL: Happy Valentine's Day! - You too!
- 00:00:07,549 --> 00:00:10,050 Hey, so, uh, how's it going living over at Ross'?
- 00:00:10,218 --> 00:00:15,806 It's good, except he makes us watch the Discovery Channel all day long.
- 00:00:15,974 --> 00:00:18,142 Did you know that something really boring...
- 00:00:18,309 --> 00:00:21,478 ...happened to someone really ugly in the Middle Ages?
- 00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:23,981 - Thank you. See you guys later. - Okay.
- 00:00:24,149 --> 00:00:25,691 - Bye. - Bye.
- 00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:31,947 That is one lucky to-go cup of coffee.
- 00:00:32,115 --> 00:00:34,074 Oh, honey.
- 00:00:34,284 --> 00:00:37,995 I wish you'd get over her. I hate seeing you like this.
- 00:00:38,246 --> 00:00:41,832 Is there anything I can do for you? Do you wanna look down my top?
- 00:00:43,168 --> 00:00:44,960 Thanks. Maybe later.
- 00:00:46,296 --> 00:00:49,590 - Oh, Gunther, can I get a scone? - You want anything?
- 00:00:49,758 --> 00:00:52,051 You know what I want? I want a lot of things.
- 00:00:52,218 --> 00:00:54,928 I wanna be with the woman I love on Valentine's Day!
- 00:00:55,096 --> 00:00:57,097 I want her to love me back.
- 00:00:57,265 --> 00:00:59,141 And I want one moment of relief...
- 00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:02,978 ...from the gut-wrenching pain of knowing that's never gonna happen!
- 00:01:04,147 --> 00:01:05,689 We have red bagels.
- 00:01:08,109 --> 00:01:09,943 Okay.
- 00:01:49,442 --> 00:01:52,152 So how does Mona feel about you and Rachel living together?
- 00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:54,488 I'm on my way to tell her right now.
- 00:01:54,656 --> 00:01:57,491 She's been away all week visiting parents, but she'll be cool.
- 00:01:57,659 --> 00:01:59,451 She's been so supportive.
- 00:01:59,619 --> 00:02:04,289 She even got the baby a tiny T-shirt that says, "Fossils are my friends."
- 00:02:05,291 --> 00:02:08,585 Ugh, come on, Mona. Don't kiss ass.
- 00:02:08,878 --> 00:02:10,796 - So, uh, I'm gonna take off. - All right.
- 00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:15,134 Oh, shoot! Oh, shoot! Uh, Rachel wanted to see this tape.
- 00:02:15,301 --> 00:02:18,137 - What is it? - A video of my friend giving birth.
- 00:02:18,304 --> 00:02:21,014 - Could you bring it back to your apartment? - All right.
- 00:02:21,182 --> 00:02:23,600 "Candy and Cookie"?
- 00:02:23,768 --> 00:02:26,937 Yeah, Candy's the mother, Cookie's the daughter.
- 00:02:27,105 --> 00:02:29,523 The father's name is also Cookie.
- 00:02:31,526 --> 00:02:34,027 Why am I friends with these people?
- 00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:37,948 Phoebe, come here. I wanna show you something in the bathroom.
- 00:02:38,116 --> 00:02:40,284 Ugh, Monica, grow up.
- 00:02:41,911 --> 00:02:44,788 - What do you got behind your back? - Nothing.
- 00:02:44,956 --> 00:02:48,208 Just something I want Phoebe's opinion on for Valentine's Day.
- 00:02:48,376 --> 00:02:51,211 - You don't want my opinion? - Not really.
- 00:02:51,379 --> 00:02:54,214 Come on, I'm your older brother. Ask me.
- 00:02:54,382 --> 00:02:56,133 Oh, okay, big brother. Um...
- 00:02:56,301 --> 00:02:59,094 Which one would make your little sister look hotter...
- 00:02:59,262 --> 00:03:01,763 ...so your best friend would want to do her?
- 00:03:07,353 --> 00:03:09,146 The red one.
- 00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:15,110 [KNOCKING ON DOOR]
- 00:03:15,612 --> 00:03:16,862 - Hey. - Mm.
- 00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:21,450 I know you've been depressed lately, so I brought someone to cheer you up.
- 00:03:21,618 --> 00:03:25,329 Right outside this door is a real, live, furry playmate.
- 00:03:25,496 --> 00:03:28,332 No, I'm not sleeping with your friend Jane again.
- 00:03:31,753 --> 00:03:35,589 PHOEBE: Hee-hee! - Hey, a dog! Oh, hi!
- 00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:39,259 Who, you gotta admit, looks a lot like Jane.
- 00:03:39,594 --> 00:03:44,264 This is the happiest dog in the world. I borrowed him from my friend Wendy.
- 00:03:44,432 --> 00:03:47,601 So you can keep him until he cheers you up. And he will cheer you up.
- 00:03:47,769 --> 00:03:49,102 Thanks so much, Pheebs.
- 00:03:49,270 --> 00:03:52,064 We are gonna have so much fun! Yes we are!
- 00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:54,191 Oh, not that kind of fun.
- 00:04:01,449 --> 00:04:03,825 - Happy Valentine's! MONICA: Hey!
- 00:04:03,993 --> 00:04:05,077 I'll be right out.
- 00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:09,456 I'm slipping into something a little less comfortable and a little more slutty.
- 00:04:13,002 --> 00:04:21,426 "Candy and Cookie"?
- 00:04:21,594 --> 00:04:24,012 Monica got me porn?
- 00:04:25,431 --> 00:04:28,141 Girl-on-girl porn?
- 00:04:29,352 --> 00:04:31,812 She really must love me!
- 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,321 [WOMAN ON TV MOANS]
- 00:04:41,489 --> 00:04:45,867 MAN [ON TV]: Yeah, just relax. - I love you, St. Valentine.
- 00:04:46,411 --> 00:04:49,079 [WOMAN GROANING]
- 00:04:49,539 --> 00:04:51,623 [WOMAN SCREAMS]
- 00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:55,877 Whoa, whoa, that's not pretty.
- 00:04:56,838 --> 00:04:58,839 MAN: Now push! WOMAN: Unh!
- 00:04:59,007 --> 00:05:02,801 Ow! Oh, God, it hurts!
- 00:05:03,011 --> 00:05:05,971 Worst porn ever! Worst porn ever!
- 00:05:06,848 --> 00:05:10,726 WOMAN: Oh, make it stop! - I am trying!
- 00:05:12,937 --> 00:05:15,272 Get the ball. Ready? Get the ball!
- 00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:18,442 You're cute, but you're not too smart.
- 00:05:20,111 --> 00:05:24,823 Yeah. Did I just throw this?
- 00:05:26,701 --> 00:05:27,868 - Hi. - Hi.
- 00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:31,330 I accidentally packed these with my stuff.
- 00:05:31,539 --> 00:05:34,833 - Who is this? - That's, uh, Phoebe's friend's dog.
- 00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:38,337 I don't know his real name. I call him Mozzarella.
- 00:05:38,504 --> 00:05:44,593 Ohh, you are so cute. I wish I could play with you more, but I've gotta go to work.
- 00:05:44,761 --> 00:05:49,306 I hope I stop talking like this before my marketing meeting. Yes, I do.
- 00:05:50,099 --> 00:05:53,185 Bye-bye, Joey. Seriously, I can't stop it.
- 00:05:56,147 --> 00:05:58,065 Come here! Hey!
- 00:05:58,274 --> 00:06:02,778 Hey. That's Rachel. She's the one who used to live here.
- 00:06:02,987 --> 00:06:06,948 Might as well be honest with you. We love her.
- 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:10,202 But we can't have her. No.
- 00:06:10,578 --> 00:06:12,704 I really miss her.
- 00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:17,000 Hey, you understand, right? You're a guy.
- 00:06:17,627 --> 00:06:20,045 Well, you used to be.
- 00:06:30,139 --> 00:06:32,557 So, what do you think?
- 00:06:34,811 --> 00:06:36,478 I've still got it.
- 00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:40,232 - Why did you get me this? - What is it?
- 00:06:40,441 --> 00:06:45,278 It's yelling, bleeding, dilating.
- 00:06:46,572 --> 00:06:48,907 Oh, the dilating!
- 00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:53,161 Is this the video of the baby being born? This is Phoebe's.
- 00:06:53,329 --> 00:06:55,038 Why were you even watching it?
- 00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:03,713 I thought maybe you got me porn for Valentine's Day.
- 00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:09,469 Chandler, if you thought I was gonna get you porn for Valentine's Day...
- 00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:11,638 ...you were right.
- 00:07:12,723 --> 00:07:16,893 Apparently, it's about a girl who moves to the city in search of stardom...
- 00:07:17,061 --> 00:07:19,354 ...but ends up having sex with a lot of guys.
- 00:07:20,773 --> 00:07:22,232 It got four stars.
- 00:07:22,483 --> 00:07:24,860 Oh, wait a minute. Those aren't stars.
- 00:07:26,571 --> 00:07:29,322 - Anyway, you wanna take a look? - Well...
- 00:07:29,490 --> 00:07:34,744 - I'm not really in a sexy mood right now. - Hey, what's going on?
- 00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:38,081 Well, remember the first time you saw Jaws...
- 00:07:38,249 --> 00:07:41,501 ...how long it took to go back in the water?
- 00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:47,132 Chandler, we can't let this tape wreck Valentine's Day.
- 00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:52,012 - You don't know. You didn't see it. - Childbirth is a natural thing. It's beautiful.
- 00:07:52,221 --> 00:07:54,764 Oh, beautiful? Really? Huh, really?
- 00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:56,475 You think this is beautiful?
- 00:07:56,642 --> 00:07:59,186 [WOMAN SCREAMING ON TV]
- 00:08:01,230 --> 00:08:05,066 Oh, my God! No wonder my mother hates me!
- 00:08:07,028 --> 00:08:09,821 - See, honey, there's... - Don't touch me!
- 00:08:12,241 --> 00:08:14,159 - Hi! - Hey!
- 00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:15,577 - Hi. - Hi.
- 00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:18,163 - So how was Atlantic City? - Good.
- 00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:20,832 - I brought you back a present. - What...?
- 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:22,959 Come on, you didn't have to...
- 00:08:23,127 --> 00:08:26,171 - Saltwater taffy? - Ha-ha-ha.
- 00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:28,215 - Thanks. - Mm.
- 00:08:28,466 --> 00:08:31,384 It's interesting, most people think this is made with seawater.
- 00:08:31,552 --> 00:08:35,472 But it's actually made with, uh, salted fresh water.
- 00:08:36,390 --> 00:08:38,767 That's not interesting.
- 00:08:38,976 --> 00:08:42,437 - I think it's interesting. - I do too. I missed you!
- 00:08:42,647 --> 00:08:45,732 - Me too. How was your week? - Oh, it was good.
- 00:08:45,900 --> 00:08:48,693 - Actually, the baby started kicking. - How exciting.
- 00:08:48,861 --> 00:08:50,570 Yeah, aw. It was amazing.
- 00:08:50,738 --> 00:08:54,366 The only sad thing is, I wasn't around when it happened the first time.
- 00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:58,662 - Oh, no. - I was missing out on all this stuff.
- 00:08:58,829 --> 00:09:03,875 - Joey suggested Rachel move in with me. - Ha, ha. Yeah, right.
- 00:09:04,961 --> 00:09:07,671 - What? - Joey cracks me up.
- 00:09:07,838 --> 00:09:12,050 "Yeah, have your ex-wife move in. That wouldn't be awkward at all." Heh.
- 00:09:14,845 --> 00:09:16,846 Huh. Heh.
- 00:09:17,014 --> 00:09:19,057 Hey, imagine, I go away for a few days...
- 00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:22,644 ...I come back and my boyfriend is living with some woman he got pregnant.
- 00:09:22,812 --> 00:09:24,396 [LAUGHING]
- 00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:28,692 So, what'd you tell him?
- 00:09:30,194 --> 00:09:32,237 [MUMBLES]
- 00:09:40,454 --> 00:09:43,290 How could you not tell Mona that Rachel is living with you?
- 00:09:43,457 --> 00:09:47,085 I don't know. She seemed to think it was such a crazy idea.
- 00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:51,298 Plus, she, uh... She got me taffy.
- 00:09:51,507 --> 00:09:54,342 - Taffy, really? I've never had any. - Ever?
- 00:09:54,552 --> 00:09:59,431 My mother was too busy planning her suicide to provide saltwater treats.
- 00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:01,683 Thank you.
- 00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:04,436 So are you just never gonna tell her?
- 00:10:04,645 --> 00:10:07,147 No, no, I will. I just want to butter her up first.
- 00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:09,816 I'm gonna take her to an amazing Valentine's dinner...
- 00:10:09,984 --> 00:10:12,152 ...do all this romantic stuff.
- 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:15,488 And then, when she thinks I'm the best boyfriend in the world...
- 00:10:15,656 --> 00:10:19,743 ...then I tell her my pregnant ex-girlfriend is living with me.
- 00:10:19,952 --> 00:10:23,747 If I haven't said it before, she's a lucky, lucky lady.
- 00:10:25,958 --> 00:10:29,919 So where are...? What the mother of crap is up with this stuff?
- 00:10:31,505 --> 00:10:35,800 God, is it gum? Is it food? What's the deal?
- 00:10:38,137 --> 00:10:40,555 Oh, it's nice. May I try a pink one?
- 00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:49,189 So between her and me being friends, and her history with Ross...
- 00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:51,483 ...it just isn't gonna happen.
- 00:10:51,734 --> 00:10:55,987 It'd be like you falling in love with a cat.
- 00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:57,989 - Hey. JOEY: Hey.
- 00:10:58,157 --> 00:11:04,412 Hey, buddy. How's my favorite dog, huh? How's my favorite dog?
- 00:11:05,289 --> 00:11:06,998 You're subdued.
- 00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:11,002 - Did you give him a beer? - No.
- 00:11:11,462 --> 00:11:15,173 - Will you excuse us? We need to talk. - Sure.
- 00:11:16,384 --> 00:11:18,343 Oh, me, right.
- 00:11:21,013 --> 00:11:24,891 - He's miserable. What happened to him? - Nothing.
- 00:11:25,059 --> 00:11:27,477 - We just talked about stuff. - What stuff?
- 00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:30,146 Rachel stuff.
- 00:11:30,731 --> 00:11:36,152 Oh, Joey, you bummed him out! This is the happiest dog in the world.
- 00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:38,822 He spends a day with you, and look at him.
- 00:11:40,741 --> 00:11:42,534 He's breathing.
- 00:11:43,494 --> 00:11:46,121 - I'll take him back to Wendy's. - No, no, no. He's fine.
- 00:11:46,330 --> 00:11:47,372 Hey, look. Look.
- 00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:49,124 Here's your ball! Get the ball!
- 00:11:49,291 --> 00:11:52,961 Get your ball! Get your ball! Get your ball!
- 00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:57,215 Get... God, what have I done to you? Huh?
- 00:11:57,383 --> 00:12:00,927 I broke the dog, Pheebs! I broke the dog!
- 00:12:03,347 --> 00:12:07,392 I'm, uh, going to pick up Mona. What you got going on tonight?
- 00:12:07,643 --> 00:12:10,061 Oh, I've got big Valentine's plans.
- 00:12:10,312 --> 00:12:14,566 I've got Chinese food on the way, and the rest of your saltwater taffy.
- 00:12:15,025 --> 00:12:19,070 It's interesting. Most people think that's made with seawater, when in fact...
- 00:12:19,238 --> 00:12:21,781 Ross, we actually watched the documentary together.
- 00:12:22,950 --> 00:12:24,033 [KNOCKING ON DOOR]
- 00:12:24,201 --> 00:12:26,911 Oh, my Chinese food. I'll get my cash.
- 00:12:32,001 --> 00:12:33,752 Mona?
- 00:12:33,961 --> 00:12:36,421 - What are...? Hi! - Hi.
- 00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:40,383 What are you doing here? I'm supposed to pick you up.
- 00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:44,429 Change of plans, I made you a Valentine's dinner. Surprise!
- 00:12:44,847 --> 00:12:46,055 [SCREAMS]
- 00:12:47,933 --> 00:12:52,312 - Oh! Hey, Mona! - Hi... Hi, Rachel.
- 00:12:52,521 --> 00:12:54,606 What's she doing here?
- 00:12:54,982 --> 00:12:57,192 I have no idea.
- 00:12:58,152 --> 00:13:01,488 I'll be watching TV if anybody needs me.
- 00:13:02,156 --> 00:13:03,573 Seriously, what is she doing?
- 00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:07,160 Uh, you know, lately she just likes hanging out here.
- 00:13:07,411 --> 00:13:10,705 - Why? - I think she's lonely.
- 00:13:11,499 --> 00:13:13,500 - But it's Valentine's Day. - I know.
- 00:13:13,667 --> 00:13:14,834 Can't we ask her to go?
- 00:13:15,085 --> 00:13:18,379 Well, no, she's way too emotional.
- 00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:22,008 And by emotional, I mean crazy!
- 00:13:22,343 --> 00:13:23,885 [DOORBELL RINGS]
- 00:13:24,887 --> 00:13:27,555 I'm not here! That's just my Chinese food.
- 00:13:27,765 --> 00:13:29,766 Oh, my God, she has food delivered here?
- 00:13:29,975 --> 00:13:34,771 Mm-hm, yes, she's emotional, but ballsy.
- 00:13:36,524 --> 00:13:39,943 You know what? I'm gonna get in my sweats and eat this in bed.
- 00:13:43,739 --> 00:13:47,700 And you thought she was gonna be in our way!
- 00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:52,789 Okay, why don't you, uh, open the champagne, and I will be right back.
- 00:13:52,957 --> 00:13:56,459 - I've got a surprise for you. - You got another ex-wife back there?
- 00:13:56,627 --> 00:14:00,630 Ho, oh! Heh. Please start drinking.
- 00:14:05,719 --> 00:14:09,848 - I'm just gonna grab the phone. - Oh, Rachel, wait. Hey, um...
- 00:14:10,015 --> 00:14:12,809 I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but, um...
- 00:14:13,060 --> 00:14:16,437 - What are you doing? - Sorry, do you need the phone?
- 00:14:16,605 --> 00:14:18,439 No. No.
- 00:14:18,649 --> 00:14:22,235 Listen, Ross is too nice to say anything, but this is his apartment.
- 00:14:22,403 --> 00:14:24,362 And we gotta have some boundaries.
- 00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:27,240 So why don't you go to your place and give us some privacy?
- 00:14:27,408 --> 00:14:30,368 But, Mona, I live here.
- 00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:36,291 Happy Valentine's Day!
- 00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:45,133 Or, something to remember me by.
- 00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:56,686 - How long has it been this time? - Ninety seconds.
- 00:14:56,937 --> 00:15:00,773 That's better. Ninety seconds is a long time not to think about it.
- 00:15:01,025 --> 00:15:03,693 Except all I did was think about it.
- 00:15:03,944 --> 00:15:05,570 I know. It haunts me.
- 00:15:05,821 --> 00:15:07,822 Up until now, the worst thing I ever saw...
- 00:15:07,990 --> 00:15:11,159 ...was my father doing tequila shots off the naked houseboy.
- 00:15:11,869 --> 00:15:15,997 After this, I would gladly make that my screen saver.
- 00:15:16,248 --> 00:15:17,874 We have to get past this.
- 00:15:18,042 --> 00:15:21,294 Why don't we get rid of the tape and pretend it never existed.
- 00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:23,671 - I could do that. - Okay.
- 00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:31,054 Okay, now all we gotta do is get rid of this chair.
- 00:15:33,515 --> 00:15:35,224 Come here.
- 00:15:45,861 --> 00:15:46,903 [KNOCKING ON DOOR]
- 00:15:47,071 --> 00:15:48,821 - Oh, thank God! - Oi.
- 00:15:49,448 --> 00:15:50,949 Come in!
- 00:15:51,116 --> 00:15:54,243 Hi. I'm sorry to barge in on your Valentine.
- 00:15:54,411 --> 00:15:58,206 I had to get away from the yelling. Mona is dumping Ross.
- 00:15:58,415 --> 00:16:00,750 - Oh, my God. - Poor Ross.
- 00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:07,090 Oh, great. We have to watch him do yoga in his underwear...
- 00:16:07,257 --> 00:16:09,384 ...but for this he closes the drapes.
- 00:16:10,803 --> 00:16:13,221 Rach, you know that birthing tape you wanted to see?
- 00:16:13,389 --> 00:16:15,306 RACHEL: Mm-hm. - It's here.
- 00:16:15,474 --> 00:16:19,602 Oh, and we should warn you before you watch it. Don't watch it.
- 00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:22,313 Why, you saw it? Is it scary?
- 00:16:22,523 --> 00:16:26,234 Let's just say it's ironic how footage of someone being born...
- 00:16:26,402 --> 00:16:29,320 ...can make you want to kill yourself.
- 00:16:30,072 --> 00:16:34,075 Now, wait, now I'm all freaked out. You guys will watch it with me?
- 00:16:34,284 --> 00:16:38,913 No, but I will leave a sweater that smells like me right next to you.
- 00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:43,376 Come on, seriously, you're not gonna make me watch this alone.
- 00:16:46,630 --> 00:16:49,215 She's right. Of course not.
- 00:16:49,425 --> 00:16:51,592 Honey, get the tape.
- 00:16:58,642 --> 00:17:02,645 This reminds me of a very specific part of the tape.
- 00:17:05,357 --> 00:17:08,026 Okay. Here we go.
- 00:17:08,235 --> 00:17:09,944 Okay. Ahem.
- 00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:11,863 [WOMAN ON TV MOANS]
- 00:17:12,072 --> 00:17:13,740 Oh, my.
- 00:17:13,949 --> 00:17:14,991 [WOMAN SCREAMS]
- 00:17:15,159 --> 00:17:17,410 MAN: All right, baby. One more time.
- 00:17:17,619 --> 00:17:20,955 Why is that baby torturing that woman?
- 00:17:21,165 --> 00:17:24,667 Why have I seen this thing three times?
- 00:17:26,670 --> 00:17:27,879 It's still beautiful.
- 00:17:28,088 --> 00:17:31,382 - Aah! It's horrible! - I know, I know!
- 00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:33,718 - I'm so sorry for you! - Oh, my God!
- 00:17:34,511 --> 00:17:38,681 - You guys! You guys, look! - What? Did her ass explode?
- 00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:40,975 [BABY CRYING ON TV]
- 00:17:41,185 --> 00:17:44,312 No, the baby's out. Look. Look.
- 00:17:45,981 --> 00:17:50,151 Look at those little fingers and toes.
- 00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:52,487 And look how happy the mom is now.
- 00:17:53,697 --> 00:17:58,076 - Oh, Rach. - Screw you! You don't have to do it!
- 00:18:02,206 --> 00:18:03,998 - Hey. - Hey! What...
- 00:18:04,249 --> 00:18:07,794 - What's up? - Uh, Mona just dumped me.
- 00:18:08,003 --> 00:18:10,797 Oh, man, I'm sorry. Why?
- 00:18:11,006 --> 00:18:15,510 With everything going on lately, I haven't exactly been the perfect boyfriend.
- 00:18:15,677 --> 00:18:18,346 I didn't tell her I got Rachel pregnant.
- 00:18:18,597 --> 00:18:23,684 I gave her a key to my apartment and then had the locks changed.
- 00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:27,438 Then I lied to her about Rachel moving in with me.
- 00:18:27,689 --> 00:18:32,610 In a way, I judge her for not breaking up with me sooner.
- 00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:35,780 That really sucks. Especially on Valentine's Day.
- 00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:40,535 Yeah. Wait a minute. What are you doing here?
- 00:18:40,744 --> 00:18:43,621 Joey Tribbiani without a date on Valentine's Day?
- 00:18:43,872 --> 00:18:47,166 What's going on, huh? Girl trouble? Heh.
- 00:18:48,627 --> 00:18:50,962 - Sort of. Ha, ha. - Really?
- 00:18:51,213 --> 00:18:53,673 You don't have to seem so happy about it.
- 00:18:53,841 --> 00:18:58,469 - Sorry. Well, uh, maybe I can help. - Oh, I...
- 00:18:58,679 --> 00:19:02,056 Whatever it is, I am sure it has happened to me.
- 00:19:03,183 --> 00:19:07,145 You know, actually, once I got dumped during sex.
- 00:19:12,192 --> 00:19:16,237 - So anyway, uh, what is it? - Forget about it. It's no big deal.
- 00:19:16,488 --> 00:19:18,948 - Come on, what is it? - It's nothing.
- 00:19:19,199 --> 00:19:21,951 Hey, it's me. Why can't you tell me?
- 00:19:24,454 --> 00:19:28,082 Okay. Uh, sit down. Um...
- 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:35,715 There's this woman that I like a lot.
- 00:19:35,883 --> 00:19:38,092 But, uh, it can't happen.
- 00:19:39,261 --> 00:19:40,845 She's not a Tribbiani?
- 00:19:43,557 --> 00:19:44,682 No!
- 00:19:46,143 --> 00:19:49,103 So, uh... So is she someone from work?
- 00:19:50,647 --> 00:19:51,689 Yes.
- 00:19:52,399 --> 00:19:54,275 Well, um, does she like you?
- 00:19:56,278 --> 00:19:58,571 Sometimes I think maybe she could.
- 00:19:58,822 --> 00:20:01,407 But it doesn't matter, I can't do anything about it.
- 00:20:01,617 --> 00:20:02,742 Why not?
- 00:20:02,993 --> 00:20:04,744 It's complicated.
- 00:20:06,288 --> 00:20:08,831 She was with this other guy. For a long time.
- 00:20:09,082 --> 00:20:10,833 Someone from work too.
- 00:20:11,001 --> 00:20:12,668 And, uh...
- 00:20:12,836 --> 00:20:16,339 I could never do that to the guy. We're friends.
- 00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:22,428 So, uh, this guy she used to go out with, is he still in love with her?
- 00:20:22,638 --> 00:20:25,514 - No, I don't think so. - Okay.
- 00:20:25,766 --> 00:20:27,516 Is he a good guy?
- 00:20:29,186 --> 00:20:31,103 Yeah, he's the best.
- 00:20:31,313 --> 00:20:34,023 - Then talk to him. He might be fine. - I don't know.
- 00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:37,443 It's worth finding out, if you really like her.
- 00:20:37,653 --> 00:20:39,278 I do, so much.
- 00:20:39,529 --> 00:20:42,365 I can't stop thinking about her. I can't sleep...
- 00:20:42,616 --> 00:20:46,035 Okay, Joey, you know what? You have to go for it.
- 00:20:46,286 --> 00:20:51,415 How often does this happen to you? You owe it to yourself.
- 00:20:52,042 --> 00:20:54,085 Here's your warm milk.
- 00:20:58,632 --> 00:21:01,759 I'm gonna put the bourbon in it at home.
- 00:21:01,927 --> 00:21:03,511 Yeah.
- 00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:08,683 Anyway, seriously, just talk to the guy, okay?
- 00:21:08,850 --> 00:21:11,310 Let me know how it goes.
- 00:21:12,729 --> 00:21:14,647 It's Rachel.
- 00:21:24,574 --> 00:21:27,868 RACHEL: You're gonna have a baby and you need to be prepared.
- 00:21:28,036 --> 00:21:32,832 You're gonna make yourself watch the whole thing. Just do it!
- 00:21:35,669 --> 00:21:39,046 WOMAN [ON TV]: Heh, I came to the big city to become a star.
- 00:21:40,257 --> 00:21:43,926 - I'll do anything to make that happen. MAN [ON TV]: Anything?
- 00:21:44,094 --> 00:21:48,681 RACHEL: Hmm. Maybe it starts with how she gets pregnant.
- 00:21:53,145 --> 00:21:55,146 [English - US - SDH]
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