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The One with the Secret Closet
Сезон: 08Серия: 14
Описание
Чендлер становится одержим желанием узнать, что находится в запертом шкафу Моники. Фиби чувствует себя преданной, когда обнаруживает, что Моника пользуется услугами другого массажиста. Росс чувствует себя обделенным вниманием после того, как пропустил первый толчок их ребенка, особенно когда Джои принимают за отца. Джои, расстроенный ситуацией, предлагает Рейчел переехать к Россу, хотя сам хочет, чтобы Рейчел жила с ним.
Субтитры
- 00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:11,427 - Hey. What's up? - I left my guitar here again.
- 00:00:11,594 --> 00:00:14,013 Oh, okay. No problem.
- 00:00:16,558 --> 00:00:19,351 - Okay. Here you go. - Okay.
- 00:00:19,519 --> 00:00:20,978 Okay, um...
- 00:00:24,107 --> 00:00:27,151 - What? - You want to hang out or something?
- 00:00:27,777 --> 00:00:30,195 Phoebe, you caught me at a bad time.
- 00:00:30,363 --> 00:00:32,406 - Oh, are you and Chandler...? - Yes. Exactly.
- 00:00:32,574 --> 00:00:35,117 - Okay. Want me to play for you? - No.
- 00:00:39,205 --> 00:00:40,873 Hey, Pheebs, what's up?
- 00:00:43,626 --> 00:00:47,588 You ask an intriguing question, Chandler Bing.
- 00:00:49,841 --> 00:00:50,883 [GASPS]
- 00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:56,680 Oh, my God! You're getting a massage? You never let me massage you.
- 00:00:56,890 --> 00:01:00,934 - Phoebe, I can explain. - You told me you hate massages.
- 00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:05,439 Buy stamps. Pick up dry cleaning. Don't let Phoebe in.
- 00:01:07,025 --> 00:01:09,651 I can't believe this. How long has this been going on?
- 00:01:09,819 --> 00:01:13,530 - Well, uh, Alexandra has... - Oh, it has a name?
- 00:01:15,241 --> 00:01:16,992 Phoebe, don't get upset.
- 00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:22,414 Okay. Oh, too late! I'm leaving. Come on, Chandler, let's go.
- 00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:25,584 Well, I thought I'd...
- 00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:27,586 Yeah, what the hell.
- 00:02:08,503 --> 00:02:10,379 - Okay, come on. One more push. - Unh!
- 00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:12,297 Come on, we're almost there.
- 00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:16,718 Joey, I'm so happy things worked out for us and we're having this baby together.
- 00:02:16,886 --> 00:02:19,596 - I love you so much. - Oh, I love you too.
- 00:02:19,764 --> 00:02:23,058 Mm. I hope it's not an inappropriate time to say this...
- 00:02:23,226 --> 00:02:25,686 ...but you're the best sex I've ever had.
- 00:02:27,063 --> 00:02:29,857 - That's always appropriate. - Ha, ha.
- 00:02:30,024 --> 00:02:32,776 Okay, come on, one more push. One more push.
- 00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:35,070 [GROANS]
- 00:02:35,738 --> 00:02:36,780 DOCTOR: There we go.
- 00:02:36,948 --> 00:02:38,365 [RACHEL SIGHS AND BABY CRIES]
- 00:02:38,533 --> 00:02:44,788 Here is your beautiful baby. Congratulations.
- 00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:52,337 [SNARLS]
- 00:02:52,505 --> 00:02:55,174 I hope you're a better father than you are a friend!
- 00:02:55,341 --> 00:02:57,801 [BOTH SCREAMING]
- 00:02:57,969 --> 00:02:59,928 Whoa! Aah, whoa.
- 00:03:00,096 --> 00:03:01,305 [KNOCKING ON DOOR]
- 00:03:01,472 --> 00:03:03,056 - Joey! - What, what?
- 00:03:03,224 --> 00:03:06,727 - What's going on? Uh... - Feel this. Come feel my belly.
- 00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:09,897 The baby's kicking for the first time. Please come feel.
- 00:03:10,064 --> 00:03:11,982 - Really? Uh... - Yes.
- 00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:14,902 You know what? Maybe, uh, you...
- 00:03:15,069 --> 00:03:16,820 Maybe you should come to me.
- 00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:20,240 - I'm not wearing any bottoms. - Oh, okay.
- 00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:24,745 - Oh, my God. - Aah!
- 00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:26,705 It's unbelievable!
- 00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:30,584 Wow, she is kicking so much. She's like, um...
- 00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:33,795 Who's that kind of annoying girl soccer player?
- 00:03:33,963 --> 00:03:36,924 - Mia Hamm? - Mia Hamm!
- 00:03:37,675 --> 00:03:40,594 - Oh! It's amazing. - Whoa. One hand on the sheet, Joe.
- 00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:43,805 Whoa, eh. Sorry.
- 00:03:48,853 --> 00:03:50,103 - Hey, babe. MONICA: Hey, honey.
- 00:03:50,271 --> 00:03:55,442 We got a wedding gift from Bob and Faye Bing. They don't like us, do they?
- 00:03:56,110 --> 00:04:00,113 Who says you can't get a nice punch bowl for under $6?
- 00:04:00,323 --> 00:04:02,950 - Maybe we can take it back. - Doesn't say where it's from.
- 00:04:03,117 --> 00:04:06,536 - Where would we return it? - How about to the street, from the balcony?
- 00:04:07,956 --> 00:04:09,748 Why don't we just find a place for it?
- 00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:11,541 [MUMBLES]
- 00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:15,212 How about in that cabinet?
- 00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:16,964 That's where we keep canned goods.
- 00:04:17,131 --> 00:04:20,217 Have you forgotten everything you learned in orientation?
- 00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:25,055 How about the closet by the bathroom?
- 00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:27,266 Oh. Okay. Why don't you let me do it.
- 00:04:27,433 --> 00:04:29,184 No, no, no. I will do it.
- 00:04:29,352 --> 00:04:34,564 You have to relax and let your husband take care of things once in a while.
- 00:04:34,732 --> 00:04:37,317 It's locked. You have to help me.
- 00:04:37,485 --> 00:04:39,027 Why is it locked?
- 00:04:39,487 --> 00:04:42,656 No reason. I keep private things in there.
- 00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:44,783 You know, I've been living here a while...
- 00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:47,077 ...and I've never seen what's in that closet.
- 00:04:47,245 --> 00:04:49,246 What is in there?
- 00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:51,290 Feminine stuff.
- 00:04:51,499 --> 00:04:54,960 Don't try to make me uncomfortable with feminine stuff!
- 00:04:55,169 --> 00:05:00,424 Nothing in there concerns you. If you love me, you'll just let it go.
- 00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:05,762 - Fine. - Thank you.
- 00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:12,853 Love you.
- 00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:18,608 Hello, Chandler. Lovely day, huh? You.
- 00:05:20,695 --> 00:05:24,906 If it helps, Alexandra's only been massaging Monica for, like, three years.
- 00:05:27,618 --> 00:05:30,996 If! I said, if it helps.
- 00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:35,042 Why won't you let me massage you?
- 00:05:35,209 --> 00:05:38,962 Uh, well, it's... I'd be self-conscious.
- 00:05:39,130 --> 00:05:41,131 You're my friend. I'd be naked.
- 00:05:41,299 --> 00:05:45,177 We lived together for years. I've seen you naked.
- 00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:48,805 That's different. We were roommates. And when?
- 00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:53,643 I'm curious about the human body.
- 00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:57,856 You can understand why this would be weird for me.
- 00:05:58,024 --> 00:06:00,817 I'm a professional and I'm really good.
- 00:06:00,985 --> 00:06:05,697 If you're uncomfortable, we can stop. Just give me a chance, okay? Please?
- 00:06:06,324 --> 00:06:08,533 Okay, if it means that much to you.
- 00:06:08,701 --> 00:06:12,162 It does. How would you feel if you couldn't share your cooking?
- 00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:16,333 Or imagine how Ross would feel if he couldn't teach us about dragons.
- 00:06:18,419 --> 00:06:21,546 - Dinosaurs. - Potato, "potato."
- 00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:27,719 - Hey. - Ross, the baby's kicking.
- 00:06:27,887 --> 00:06:30,013 What? It is?
- 00:06:35,311 --> 00:06:37,270 It's not kicking right now.
- 00:06:37,438 --> 00:06:40,982 Although we would love to see you do that again.
- 00:06:42,193 --> 00:06:44,111 When was it kicking? What happened?
- 00:06:44,278 --> 00:06:48,073 Last night. I felt it. I went into Joey's room, and he was sleeping.
- 00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:50,867 A dreamless sleep.
- 00:06:51,577 --> 00:06:55,288 My God, the baby's kicking. That's great.
- 00:06:55,540 --> 00:07:01,128 I wish I would have been there to feel the kicking for the first time.
- 00:07:01,337 --> 00:07:05,090 I got some stuff going on in here if you want to feel.
- 00:07:05,299 --> 00:07:10,262 I don't want to miss any more baby stuff. Here's my pager number.
- 00:07:10,471 --> 00:07:14,015 Anytime anything pregnancy-related happens, use it. I'll be there.
- 00:07:14,183 --> 00:07:17,436 I don't care if it's 3 in the morning and you want ice cream.
- 00:07:17,603 --> 00:07:19,104 Wow. Can I get a copy of that?
- 00:07:24,193 --> 00:07:26,945 PHOEBE: Are you under the sheet? MONICA: Yes.
- 00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:29,239 [RELAXING MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO]
- 00:07:29,407 --> 00:07:31,783 Great, let's begin.
- 00:07:39,750 --> 00:07:42,169 - How's the pressure? - Ah.
- 00:07:43,045 --> 00:07:46,256 It's nice. Wow, Phoebe, you are good.
- 00:07:46,507 --> 00:07:49,301 Stating the obvious, but thank you.
- 00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:53,638 - And it's not weird, is it? - No.
- 00:07:54,223 --> 00:07:55,557 [MONICA MOANS]
- 00:07:55,766 --> 00:07:58,852 That's right, you just enjoy.
- 00:07:59,061 --> 00:08:00,729 [MONICA MOANS]
- 00:08:00,938 --> 00:08:03,440 Oh, yeah!
- 00:08:03,649 --> 00:08:07,652 Oh, oh!
- 00:08:08,404 --> 00:08:12,824 - Oh, yeah! - Okay.
- 00:08:13,534 --> 00:08:16,578 Oh, God, Phoebe!
- 00:08:16,829 --> 00:08:21,249 Oh, that's it! That's it, right there! Oh!
- 00:08:22,418 --> 00:08:27,172 [MONICA MOANS]
- 00:08:31,552 --> 00:08:32,802 [DOOR CLOSES]
- 00:08:33,012 --> 00:08:36,431 I wasn't trying to open your closet. I wasn't trying, I swear.
- 00:08:37,475 --> 00:08:43,772 Wow. Monica runs a pretty tight ship here, doesn't she? What are you doing?
- 00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:46,775 Monica has a secret closet. She won't let me see what's in it.
- 00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:47,984 - Why not? - I don't know!
- 00:08:48,152 --> 00:08:51,446 What could she possibly be hiding in here what I can't see?
- 00:08:51,697 --> 00:08:53,865 I don't know. Ooh.
- 00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:56,535 I'll bet it's Richard.
- 00:08:57,662 --> 00:09:00,288 Why would Monica be keeping Richard in here?
- 00:09:00,456 --> 00:09:02,749 Well, off the top of my head, uh...
- 00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:06,211 ...maybe she's having her cake and eating it too.
- 00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:10,006 You being the "cake," Richard being the "too."
- 00:09:10,174 --> 00:09:13,843 - Or... - And here we go.
- 00:09:14,011 --> 00:09:16,054 I saw this movie once where there was a door.
- 00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:17,722 Nobody knew what was behind it.
- 00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:23,520 And when they finally got it open, millions and millions of bugs came pouring out...
- 00:09:23,729 --> 00:09:27,274 ...and they feasted on human flesh!
- 00:09:28,192 --> 00:09:31,528 You know, it wouldn't kill you to respect your wife's privacy!
- 00:09:36,033 --> 00:09:39,953 Stupid closet full of bugs!
- 00:09:41,038 --> 00:09:45,750 Joey, something feels weird and not good weird. I don't... Whoa!
- 00:09:45,918 --> 00:09:48,753 Whoa! Don't worry. When my sisters were pregnant...
- 00:09:48,921 --> 00:09:51,798 ...they got every weird feeling and it was always nothing.
- 00:09:51,966 --> 00:09:53,258 - Really? JOEY: Absolutely.
- 00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:56,720 But we'll stop by the hospital just to be sure. I'll page Ross.
- 00:09:56,887 --> 00:09:58,513 Okay, oh, God... Ow.
- 00:09:58,681 --> 00:10:01,641 Oh, okay, Rach, look at me. Everything's gonna be fine.
- 00:10:01,809 --> 00:10:04,144 - Okay. - Trust me. Take my hand. Here we go.
- 00:10:04,312 --> 00:10:07,105 Ow! Crushing bones!
- 00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:10,650 Good thing we're going to a hospital.
- 00:10:18,492 --> 00:10:20,619 - Hey. So? - She's fine.
- 00:10:20,786 --> 00:10:22,954 She was experiencing Braxton Hicks contractions.
- 00:10:23,122 --> 00:10:25,957 - Mild discomfort in the uterine wall. - Hmm.
- 00:10:26,125 --> 00:10:31,171 Mild discomfort? I take it you've had one of these Braxton thingies?
- 00:10:31,339 --> 00:10:32,964 - Everything is normal? DOCTOR: Yes.
- 00:10:33,132 --> 00:10:35,550 - There's no danger to her or the baby? DOCTOR: No.
- 00:10:35,718 --> 00:10:38,803 Contractions can be unnerving if you don't know, but she's fine.
- 00:10:38,971 --> 00:10:43,975 Thank you, doctor. And thank you for being nice and calm.
- 00:10:44,143 --> 00:10:48,188 Calm? I wasn't calm! I've never been more scared in my life.
- 00:10:48,606 --> 00:10:53,401 - You said everything was okay. - What do I know? I'm not a doctor.
- 00:10:54,278 --> 00:10:57,572 - But everything is okay. I'm fine. - You sure?
- 00:10:57,782 --> 00:11:01,618 Yes. I got half a mind to contract that doctor's uterus.
- 00:11:01,827 --> 00:11:04,829 Mild discomfort! What's he talking about?
- 00:11:04,997 --> 00:11:06,831 - Is everything okay? - Everything's fine.
- 00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:10,168 Your page said, "Come to the hospital." What happened?
- 00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:12,754 Something called Braxton Hicks contraction.
- 00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:15,215 Ugh, oh. Ha, ha.
- 00:11:15,383 --> 00:11:17,592 That's no big deal. Most women don't feel them.
- 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:19,969 Okay, no uterus, no opinion.
- 00:11:22,014 --> 00:11:23,723 Hey, uh, what's with the candy?
- 00:11:23,891 --> 00:11:27,227 When you beeped me I was at the concession stand at the movies.
- 00:11:27,395 --> 00:11:31,231 - You went to the movies by yourself? - No... Mona!
- 00:11:32,483 --> 00:11:35,318 - Oh, I gotta go back in there. - Why? What's wrong?
- 00:11:35,486 --> 00:11:38,822 - Everything's fine, I just gotta... - No, really, tell me. What's up?
- 00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:42,367 Look, I forgot my underwear.
- 00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:49,374 So thanks so much for bringing her to the hospital.
- 00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:52,419 Oh, hey, don't worry about it. No big deal.
- 00:11:52,586 --> 00:11:54,838 But still, it should have been me. I'm the dad.
- 00:11:57,007 --> 00:11:58,299 If you have questions...
- 00:11:58,467 --> 00:12:00,802 ...here's information on Braxton Hicks. - Thanks.
- 00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:03,680 And by the way, you did the right thing by bringing her in.
- 00:12:03,848 --> 00:12:07,517 - You're gonna make a wonderful father. - Oh, uh...
- 00:12:08,102 --> 00:12:13,273 Hey, not as good as this guy. He brought Twizzlers.
- 00:12:18,863 --> 00:12:23,032 - There has got to be a way. - Easy there, Captain Kirk.
- 00:12:25,119 --> 00:12:27,537 - Oh, do you have a bobby pin? - Yeah.
- 00:12:27,788 --> 00:12:31,833 Oh, no, wait. I'm not a 9-year-old girl.
- 00:12:32,084 --> 00:12:34,252 Then why do you throw like one?
- 00:12:35,212 --> 00:12:38,840 - Maybe Monica has a bobby pin. - Oh, sure, "Monica."
- 00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:43,845 So how's the hideously inappropriate crush on Rachel coming?
- 00:12:44,054 --> 00:12:48,516 Really good. I should be ready to kill myself any day now.
- 00:12:48,726 --> 00:12:50,894 Well, you sure found that quick.
- 00:12:55,149 --> 00:12:57,984 I just wish I didn't feel this way about Rachel.
- 00:12:58,152 --> 00:13:00,153 I wish things could go back to normal.
- 00:13:00,321 --> 00:13:05,575 I mean, I love living with her, and helping out with the baby is amazing.
- 00:13:05,743 --> 00:13:08,870 But now I think Ross feels left out.
- 00:13:09,038 --> 00:13:11,748 You know? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital...
- 00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:14,501 ...the doctor thought I was the father. God, you...
- 00:13:14,668 --> 00:13:17,253 You should have seen the look on Ross' face.
- 00:13:18,172 --> 00:13:20,340 By the way, I have no idea what I'm doing here.
- 00:13:20,508 --> 00:13:22,300 For all I know, I'm locking it more.
- 00:13:23,511 --> 00:13:25,553 Hey, you try opening it with a credit card?
- 00:13:25,721 --> 00:13:27,847 - That's a good idea. Okay. - Yeah.
- 00:13:28,015 --> 00:13:31,601 - So, uh, Ross is kind of bummed, huh? - Ugh.
- 00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:34,646 - I ju... I feel terrible. - It's not your fault.
- 00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:37,190 What are you gonna do, not take her to the hospital?
- 00:13:37,358 --> 00:13:38,733 You're doing nothing wrong.
- 00:13:38,901 --> 00:13:42,862 Except for harboring an all-consuming love for the woman carrying his baby.
- 00:13:48,410 --> 00:13:53,122 Richard, if you're in there, could you pass me my credit card?
- 00:13:55,459 --> 00:13:56,709 - Hey. - Hey.
- 00:13:56,877 --> 00:14:01,506 I gotta tell you, yesterday was amazing. That massage felt so good.
- 00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:04,050 No, no, I got that.
- 00:14:04,218 --> 00:14:06,636 So, um, what do you say we make it a weekly appointment?
- 00:14:06,804 --> 00:14:07,846 Okay.
- 00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:13,268 You should know though, I've, um, raised my rates to $200 an hour.
- 00:14:13,936 --> 00:14:16,354 - Okay. - I mean 500.
- 00:14:16,897 --> 00:14:19,399 - What? - 600.
- 00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:20,608 What's going on?
- 00:14:20,776 --> 00:14:23,653 Oh, you make sex noises when you get massaged.
- 00:14:23,821 --> 00:14:25,947 - Wha...? - And it really freaked me out.
- 00:14:26,115 --> 00:14:29,659 After a while, I even tried to hurt you and it just spurred you on.
- 00:14:30,369 --> 00:14:34,414 What? You're crazy. There's nothing sexual about the noises I make.
- 00:14:34,582 --> 00:14:36,207 Really? There's nothing sexual about this?
- 00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:37,584 [MOANS]
- 00:14:37,751 --> 00:14:42,922 Oh, God! Oh, oh, oh!
- 00:14:43,090 --> 00:14:44,507 What are you looking at?
- 00:14:46,802 --> 00:14:48,011 I mean, hi.
- 00:14:49,763 --> 00:14:53,474 This is so embarrassing. I'm never gonna get massaged again.
- 00:14:53,642 --> 00:14:56,644 No, you can't let this stop you from getting massages.
- 00:14:56,854 --> 00:15:00,440 Look, I have lots of clients that make the same noises you do.
- 00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:03,234 - Really? - Well, not clients. Lovers.
- 00:15:05,529 --> 00:15:09,782 Let's just... We'll try it again. Come back, and we'll work through it.
- 00:15:09,950 --> 00:15:12,785 - You sure? - Yes.
- 00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:17,332 - I guess. - Great! Now, if you'll just excuse me.
- 00:15:17,499 --> 00:15:20,001 So did you hear something you liked?
- 00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:29,344 Hey, Ross, check it out! I learned a new trick. Huh?
- 00:15:29,553 --> 00:15:32,639 - Hey, uh, I brought you some lunch. - Oh!
- 00:15:32,806 --> 00:15:37,018 - That's so sweet of you. Oh, yum. - Eh.
- 00:15:37,186 --> 00:15:39,437 Mm, mm.
- 00:15:41,023 --> 00:15:44,233 - Did you put pickles on this? - Well, yeah.
- 00:15:44,401 --> 00:15:45,443 [GROANING]
- 00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:48,571 What? What? Rach, what?
- 00:15:48,739 --> 00:15:51,783 - What's going on? - I made her favorite, tuna with pickle.
- 00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:54,452 Pickle? Pickle makes her sick.
- 00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:57,538 Giving her pickle is like giving me salad.
- 00:15:59,375 --> 00:16:02,085 I'm sorry, I didn't know. You gonna be okay?
- 00:16:02,252 --> 00:16:03,294 RACHEL: I'll be fine.
- 00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:06,172 But someone make sure that sandwich is gone when I get out.
- 00:16:06,340 --> 00:16:08,716 I'm on it!
- 00:16:10,219 --> 00:16:13,680 I can't believe this. I shouldn't be the one making her throw up.
- 00:16:13,847 --> 00:16:18,267 - Dude, relax. It could happen to anyone. - Not to you. You know this stuff.
- 00:16:18,435 --> 00:16:21,187 I don't know any of it and I'm the father.
- 00:16:21,397 --> 00:16:24,232 I just... I wish I could be more involved, you know?
- 00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:28,319 Ugh.
- 00:16:29,196 --> 00:16:34,951 Well, if anyone is keeping score, I no longer eat tuna.
- 00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:39,580 Hey, uh, can I talk to you guys for a second?
- 00:16:39,748 --> 00:16:41,833 - Yeah. - What's up?
- 00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:46,713 Well... Sit down. I wanna talk about our situation.
- 00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:49,674 Are you breaking up with us?
- 00:16:51,176 --> 00:16:52,844 The thing is...
- 00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:58,933 ...because I live with Rachel, I'm here for a lot of the stuff.
- 00:16:59,101 --> 00:17:00,685 Okay, and Ross...
- 00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:05,314 Ross is missing everything. So...
- 00:17:05,524 --> 00:17:06,983 Yeah?
- 00:17:08,193 --> 00:17:10,903 Maybe you two should live together.
- 00:17:11,071 --> 00:17:13,573 Are you asking me to move out? Do you not want me here?
- 00:17:13,741 --> 00:17:18,745 No, I love living with you. It just seems that...
- 00:17:18,996 --> 00:17:23,374 ...if you're gonna have a roommate, it may as well be the father.
- 00:17:23,542 --> 00:17:26,753 But, Joey, I don't think Ross wants me to move in to his apartment...
- 00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:29,756 ...and disrupt his life like that. I mean...
- 00:17:31,216 --> 00:17:33,593 Or he does.
- 00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:38,347 I would love to be around for you and the baby.
- 00:17:38,557 --> 00:17:41,934 We can just try it, like on a temporary basis.
- 00:17:42,144 --> 00:17:45,855 - But it's you and me. - It wouldn't be anything romantic.
- 00:17:46,023 --> 00:17:50,234 And I'm dating Mona. Damn it, Mona!
- 00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:54,989 I was supposed to meet her an hour ago. What is wrong with me?
- 00:17:55,949 --> 00:17:58,910 So, what do you think?
- 00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:02,080 - I don't know. Is it crazy? - No. No, it's not...
- 00:18:02,247 --> 00:18:04,290 Joey, this is a smart idea.
- 00:18:04,708 --> 00:18:07,960 Well, I was due.
- 00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:10,713 - Okay, let's do it. I'll move in. - Really?
- 00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:14,217 - Oh, Rach, that's great. That's great. - Mm.
- 00:18:14,384 --> 00:18:16,844 [LAUGHING]
- 00:18:19,973 --> 00:18:21,766 [BANGING ON DOOR]
- 00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:24,644 [GRUNTS]
- 00:18:24,812 --> 00:18:28,189 Not too shabby. I got this all off myself...
- 00:18:28,398 --> 00:18:31,109 ...using my wife's tools.
- 00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:39,408 Oh, my God.
- 00:18:39,576 --> 00:18:40,827 [DOOR CLOSES]
- 00:18:40,994 --> 00:18:42,620 [GASPS]
- 00:18:42,788 --> 00:18:44,622 How did you get in there?
- 00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:46,582 [GIGGLING]
- 00:18:48,168 --> 00:18:49,961 You're messy.
- 00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:55,633 - No! You weren't supposed to see this! - I married Fred Sanford.
- 00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:57,802 No, Chandler, you don't understand.
- 00:18:58,011 --> 00:19:02,181 [HUMMING "SANFORD AND SON" THEME SONG]
- 00:19:02,349 --> 00:19:07,311 Okay, okay, fine! Now you know. Okay? I'm sick.
- 00:19:07,479 --> 00:19:12,608 No, honey, you're not sick. I don't love you because you're organized.
- 00:19:12,776 --> 00:19:14,944 I love you in spite of that.
- 00:19:16,238 --> 00:19:18,030 Really?
- 00:19:18,907 --> 00:19:21,868 - Promise you won't tell anyone? - Yes.
- 00:19:22,077 --> 00:19:26,747 Now that I know, if I've got extra stuff lying around, can we share the closet?
- 00:19:26,915 --> 00:19:31,210 Oh. Well, it's just, um...
- 00:19:31,378 --> 00:19:33,004 I'm afraid you might mess it up.
- 00:19:40,345 --> 00:19:41,804 - Hey. - Hey.
- 00:19:41,972 --> 00:19:46,934 So Rachel's all moved out, huh? How you taking it?
- 00:19:47,102 --> 00:19:49,187 Well, uh, I wanted to have a few beers...
- 00:19:49,354 --> 00:19:54,400 ...but, uh, I got rid of those because Rachel couldn't stand the smell of them.
- 00:19:54,568 --> 00:19:58,362 I have thrown back a lot of orange juice with calcium though.
- 00:19:58,530 --> 00:20:04,327 And, uh, it's a couple weeks past its expiration date, so it's got a bit of a kick.
- 00:20:06,997 --> 00:20:11,375 - Are you okay? - You kidding me? Yeah, I'm great.
- 00:20:11,585 --> 00:20:14,879 I'm, uh... I'm better than great. I am good.
- 00:20:16,673 --> 00:20:19,508 Now that she's gone, I can, uh...
- 00:20:19,676 --> 00:20:23,095 I can do all the stuff around here that I couldn't do before. You know?
- 00:20:23,305 --> 00:20:25,181 Like, um...
- 00:20:25,390 --> 00:20:27,391 I can walk around naked again.
- 00:20:27,559 --> 00:20:30,061 You know? I can, uh...
- 00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:33,731 I can watch porn in the living room. Right?
- 00:20:34,399 --> 00:20:36,359 This is, uh... This is good for me.
- 00:20:36,610 --> 00:20:40,863 I like being on my own. I'm better off this way.
- 00:20:41,031 --> 00:20:44,367 I'm a... I'm a lone wolf.
- 00:20:44,576 --> 00:20:48,537 A loner. Alone.
- 00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:53,542 All alone. Forever.
- 00:20:56,213 --> 00:21:00,091 What's a wolf gotta do to get a hug around here?
- 00:21:06,598 --> 00:21:07,932 [MONICA MOANS]
- 00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:11,185 - That's it, just relax. - Unh.
- 00:21:11,395 --> 00:21:13,062 Oh, oh!
- 00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:15,731 - Come on, more. - Oh, God!
- 00:21:15,941 --> 00:21:18,526 You like that, don't you?
- 00:21:18,777 --> 00:21:23,281 - Yeah, right there. - Want it there? Take it there, baby.
- 00:21:25,158 --> 00:21:29,120 - Phoebe? - Yeah, say my name. Say it.
- 00:21:37,713 --> 00:21:41,007 And now I'm going to cover you back up.
- 00:21:41,717 --> 00:21:47,263 And, um, I won't be speaking with you for several weeks.
- 00:21:51,852 --> 00:21:53,853 [English - US - SDH]
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