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The One with the Rumor
Сезон: 08Серия: 09
Описание
Моника приглашает своего школьного друга Уилла (Брэд Питт) на свой ужин в честь Дня благодарения. Рейчел узнает, что Росс и Уилл (который был толстым, а теперь стройным и красивым) в выпускном классе пустили слух о том, что у Рейчел есть как мужские, так и женские «репродуктивные органы». Джои пытается защитить «семейное наследие» Триббиани, съев целую индейку. Чендлер и Фиби сидят на диване, смотрят игру, чтобы не помогать Монике убирать после ужина. Специальный гость: Брэд Питт в роли Уилла. В то время Питт был мужем Дженнифер.
Субтитры
- 00:00:04,254 --> 00:00:06,839 Hey, Rach, listen. Did you know that during pregnancy...
- 00:00:07,048 --> 00:00:11,093 ...your fingers swell up to twice their size and never go back?
- 00:00:12,762 --> 00:00:15,139 Oh, my God. Let me see that.
- 00:00:15,348 --> 00:00:16,390 [LAUGHS]
- 00:00:16,558 --> 00:00:18,559 You fall for it every time.
- 00:00:20,270 --> 00:00:23,313 Hey. Look, I brought you my old maternity clothes.
- 00:00:23,523 --> 00:00:28,485 Oh, Pheebs, that's so sweet. Oh, those are so cute.
- 00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:32,906 And look. See how they expand as the baby grows?
- 00:00:33,116 --> 00:00:38,412 And then after the baby's born, they're great for shoplifting melons.
- 00:00:40,457 --> 00:00:43,792 Oh, good, you're all here. Okay, Thanksgiving tomorrow, 4:00.
- 00:00:44,002 --> 00:00:48,338 Oh. And guess who I invited? Remember that guy Will Culvert from high school?
- 00:00:49,090 --> 00:00:51,300 - No. - He was in Ross' class.
- 00:00:51,509 --> 00:00:56,180 Marching band, was kind of overweight. Well, really overweight.
- 00:00:56,431 --> 00:00:58,015 I mean, I was his thin friend.
- 00:01:00,226 --> 00:01:01,935 Wow, I don't remember him.
- 00:01:02,103 --> 00:01:04,688 Are you sure you're not talking about your imaginary boyfriend?
- 00:01:04,856 --> 00:01:07,608 No, that was Jared.
- 00:01:08,943 --> 00:01:12,821 Wow. Haven't thought about him in a long time.
- 00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:17,076 Anyway, um, Will's here on business...
- 00:01:17,243 --> 00:01:19,536 ...and he didn't have a place to go so I invited him here.
- 00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:20,788 Oh, that's nice.
- 00:01:20,955 --> 00:01:22,706 Oh, by the way, he's lost a bunch of weight.
- 00:01:22,874 --> 00:01:27,836 I mean, he looks good. Okay, I mean really, really gorgeous.
- 00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:29,171 [CLEARS THROAT]
- 00:01:32,383 --> 00:01:35,803 - I still love Chandler. - Wouldn't hurt you to say it once in a while.
- 00:01:38,556 --> 00:01:41,975 Okay, also, just so you know, I'm not gonna make a turkey this year.
- 00:01:42,602 --> 00:01:44,895 - What? - Well, Phoebe doesn't eat turkey.
- 00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:49,566 - Phoebe. - Turkeys are beautiful, intelligent animals.
- 00:01:49,734 --> 00:01:52,945 No, they're not. They're ugly and stupid and delicious.
- 00:01:54,656 --> 00:01:57,658 All right, it's not just Phoebe. Will's still on a diet...
- 00:01:57,826 --> 00:01:59,535 ...Chandler doesn't eat Thanksgiving food...
- 00:01:59,702 --> 00:02:01,745 ...and Rachel's having her aversion to poultry.
- 00:02:01,913 --> 00:02:02,955 She is?
- 00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:06,041 Yeah, remember I had to leave the other day when you had that chicken?
- 00:02:06,209 --> 00:02:08,836 I thought that was just because I put the whole thing on my hand...
- 00:02:09,003 --> 00:02:10,879 ...and made it walk across the table.
- 00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:14,967 It just doesn't seem worth it to make a whole turkey for three people.
- 00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:17,010 It's a lot of work.
- 00:02:17,262 --> 00:02:19,555 But you gotta have turkey on Thanksgiving.
- 00:02:19,722 --> 00:02:24,685 I mean, Thanksgiving with no turkey is like Fourth of July with no apple pie.
- 00:02:24,853 --> 00:02:28,105 Or Friday with no two pizzas.
- 00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:32,734 All right, fine, if it means that much to you, but there's gonna be a ton left over.
- 00:02:32,902 --> 00:02:35,487 No, there won't. I promise I will finish that turkey.
- 00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:39,616 All right, you're telling me you can eat almost an entire turkey in one sitting?
- 00:02:39,784 --> 00:02:45,789 That's right. Because I'm a Tribbiani. This is what we do.
- 00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:50,002 We may not be great thinkers or world leaders.
- 00:02:50,253 --> 00:02:54,965 We don't read a lot or run very fast, but damn it, we can eat.
- 00:03:32,378 --> 00:03:35,047 ANNOUNCER [ON TV]: Four wide receivers. On third and 18.
- 00:03:35,590 --> 00:03:38,091 Hey, isn't it weird to think about how next year at this time...
- 00:03:38,259 --> 00:03:40,552 ...there'll be a little baby at the table?
- 00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:46,099 Rachel's. But good to know where you're at.
- 00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:49,645 - Hey. MONICA: Hey.
- 00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:51,813 - Happy Thanksgiving. - You too.
- 00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:53,899 - Anything I can do to help? - Actually, there is.
- 00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:57,194 Chandler usually helps but he's into the game so I don't wanna bother him.
- 00:03:57,362 --> 00:03:59,780 - Could you help me fold these napkins? - Sure.
- 00:03:59,948 --> 00:04:01,907 I'm gonna go across the hall to check on the yams.
- 00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:06,286 - Okay. - No, no, no, sweetie. No, not like that.
- 00:04:06,454 --> 00:04:08,747 We're not at a barn dance.
- 00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:13,627 You wanna fold them like swans. Like I showed you at Christmas, remember?
- 00:04:13,795 --> 00:04:15,879 Yeah, it all just came screaming back to me.
- 00:04:20,176 --> 00:04:23,178 - So how's the game? - I have no idea.
- 00:04:23,346 --> 00:04:24,388 What?
- 00:04:24,555 --> 00:04:28,392 Yeah, I'm just pretending to watch the game so I don't have to help out with stuff.
- 00:04:29,435 --> 00:04:33,647 I don't believe you. That is brilliant.
- 00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:37,651 - And Monica has no idea? - Nope.
- 00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:41,196 Every once in a while I just yell and scream stuff at the TV.
- 00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:44,658 Hey, what...? Hey!
- 00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:49,454 - Is your team winning, hon? - Oh, yeah. Anderson just scored again.
- 00:04:50,707 --> 00:04:51,957 There's no Anderson.
- 00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:57,921 Oh, I wanna get in on this. Hey, Mon?
- 00:04:58,131 --> 00:05:01,591 I don't think I can't help you after all. I didn't realize this game was on.
- 00:05:01,843 --> 00:05:05,095 - Oh. I didn't know you liked football. - Well, normally, I don't.
- 00:05:05,263 --> 00:05:09,725 But, you know, Green Bay is playing.
- 00:05:10,268 --> 00:05:13,186 - You like Green Bay? - Well, it's only like my favorite bay.
- 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:17,399 [KNOCK ON DOOR]
- 00:05:20,611 --> 00:05:22,821 - Hey. - Hey.
- 00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:27,868 - Happy Thanksgiving. - Aw, thanks.
- 00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:31,163 God, Will, I'm so glad that you came. You just... You look great.
- 00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:32,372 You must've lost like...
- 00:05:32,582 --> 00:05:34,082 A hundred and fifty pounds.
- 00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:37,210 Yeah, I'm gonna be in one of those Subway sandwich commercials.
- 00:05:39,213 --> 00:05:43,592 - A pie. - Right. Uh, it's no fat, no sugar, no dairy.
- 00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:47,346 - It's no good. Throw it out. - You wanna meet some people?
- 00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:50,557 This is, uh, my husband, Chandler. Chandler, this is Will.
- 00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:54,144 Oh, hey. I'd shake your hand but, uh, I'm really into the game.
- 00:05:55,813 --> 00:05:59,691 Plus, I think it'd be better for my ego if we didn't stand right next to each other.
- 00:06:02,528 --> 00:06:04,112 - This is Phoebe. - Hi.
- 00:06:04,822 --> 00:06:07,657 Hey. Wow.
- 00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:12,371 Well done.
- 00:06:13,164 --> 00:06:14,581 - Wanna give me a hand? - Sure.
- 00:06:14,749 --> 00:06:18,251 Monica, I can't get over how great you look. You look stunning.
- 00:06:18,419 --> 00:06:23,673 - You look incredible too. You're just so fit. - I'm watching the game but I'm not deaf.
- 00:06:24,759 --> 00:06:27,010 Oh, um, I meant to tell you, Ross is coming.
- 00:06:27,178 --> 00:06:29,429 Ross is coming. Great, I love Ross.
- 00:06:29,597 --> 00:06:31,181 Well, good. And Rachel Green too.
- 00:06:32,725 --> 00:06:34,101 Oh.
- 00:06:35,812 --> 00:06:39,231 - Is there a problem? - Nope. Uh, it's okay.
- 00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:40,816 It's just, uh...
- 00:06:40,983 --> 00:06:43,026 God, I hated her.
- 00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:45,779 - What? - I hated her.
- 00:06:45,988 --> 00:06:48,865 She was horrible to me in high school.
- 00:06:49,450 --> 00:06:52,369 But hey, that was a long time ago. I'm in a good place.
- 00:06:52,537 --> 00:06:55,205 It might be actually fun to see her again.
- 00:06:55,581 --> 00:06:58,542 Got any cakes or cookies or something?
- 00:07:00,545 --> 00:07:03,088 No, Will. No.
- 00:07:03,714 --> 00:07:06,550 You know, it's been a while since we screamed something. Maybe we should.
- 00:07:06,717 --> 00:07:09,553 - Oh, okay. No! - Oh, come on!
- 00:07:09,804 --> 00:07:13,098 Damn you, ref. You burn in hell!
- 00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:19,604 Hey, what are you doing? You gotta save room.
- 00:07:19,772 --> 00:07:21,648 You've got almost an entire turkey to eat.
- 00:07:21,858 --> 00:07:23,817 Let me explain to you how the human body works.
- 00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:28,029 I have to warm up my stomach first.
- 00:07:28,197 --> 00:07:32,367 - Eating chips is like stretching. - Okay.
- 00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:35,912 - Don't worry, Tribbianis never get full. - I actually know what you're talking about.
- 00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:37,539 And I'm here to tell you something.
- 00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:40,667 You can eat and eat and eat, but nothing will ever fill that void.
- 00:07:43,796 --> 00:07:47,382 - Who the hell is this guy? - This is Will, from high school.
- 00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:48,675 - Oh, hey. - Hello.
- 00:07:49,844 --> 00:07:51,136 - Will. WILL: Ross.
- 00:07:51,387 --> 00:07:57,267 Hey, you came. Man, you look incredible. Hot stuff.
- 00:07:58,519 --> 00:08:01,605 - Hot stuff? - It's good to see you, man.
- 00:08:01,814 --> 00:08:04,649 Yeah, you too. Man, so, what are you up to?
- 00:08:05,234 --> 00:08:09,154 - I'm a commodities broker. - Really? That sounds interesting.
- 00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:11,948 - Yeah, it's not. - Oh.
- 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,784 - But I'm rich and thin. - Oh, hey.
- 00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:20,207 Man, I don't think I've seen you since, uh, Lance Davis' graduation party.
- 00:08:20,416 --> 00:08:22,167 - That was such a fun night. - Yeah.
- 00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:26,630 Would've been good if we had gotten in, but still, real fun.
- 00:08:26,839 --> 00:08:29,758 God, we were lame back then. Do you remember how into dinosaurs we were?
- 00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:34,095 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:08:34,263 --> 00:08:37,182 - Yeah. - So, what do you do now?
- 00:08:39,018 --> 00:08:40,519 So how long are you in town?
- 00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:46,316 - Hi. MONICA: Hey, sweetie. Oh, good.
- 00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:48,026 Rachel Green.
- 00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:49,569 [INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
- 00:08:49,737 --> 00:08:52,489 Oh, oh, that's right. Are you gonna be okay?
- 00:08:52,740 --> 00:08:58,203 Oh, I'll be fine. It's just... God, I hate her, Ross. I hate her.
- 00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:03,166 Will, high school was a long time ago.
- 00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:06,461 Look at her standing there with those yams.
- 00:09:06,671 --> 00:09:12,300 My two greatest enemies, Ross: Rachel Green and complex carbohydrates.
- 00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:15,554 Oh, my God, Monica. Who is that?
- 00:09:16,847 --> 00:09:22,102 - That's Will, from high school. - Ah. I do not remember him.
- 00:09:22,353 --> 00:09:26,064 Wow, really got that sexy smoldering thing going on.
- 00:09:26,274 --> 00:09:29,901 [INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
- 00:09:31,946 --> 00:09:35,699 Oh, my God. Look at the way he's just staring at me.
- 00:09:35,866 --> 00:09:38,618 I think he's trying to mouth something to me, but I can't make it out.
- 00:09:38,786 --> 00:09:42,539 [MOUTHS] I hate you.
- 00:09:43,457 --> 00:09:45,959 - Okay, dinner's ready. - Okay.
- 00:09:46,168 --> 00:09:50,046 - Yeah. Solid effort. Solid effort. - Oh, so who won?
- 00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:52,591 - Green Bay. - Detroit.
- 00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:55,343 - What? - Well, the Lions technically won.
- 00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:59,097 But it was a moral victory for the Green Bay Mermen.
- 00:10:03,477 --> 00:10:05,770 - Hi. Will, right? - Right.
- 00:10:05,938 --> 00:10:07,689 Right, hi. I'm Rachel Green.
- 00:10:07,898 --> 00:10:12,986 - Oh, I remember you. - Really? Aren't you sweet?
- 00:10:13,195 --> 00:10:18,366 I gotta tell you though, I'm having the hardest time placing you.
- 00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:20,994 Oh, oh, hang on. I think I remember you.
- 00:10:21,245 --> 00:10:26,708 Did we, um...? Did we fool around at Lance Davis' graduation party?
- 00:10:27,376 --> 00:10:30,670 - You are unbelievable. - Thank you.
- 00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:35,175 Uh, Rachel? Why don't you sit here? And, Will, you sit way over there.
- 00:10:42,683 --> 00:10:46,186 That's it? Even if nobody helps me, I can eat that, no problem.
- 00:10:46,395 --> 00:10:47,812 At least give me a challenge.
- 00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:49,064 [MONICA CHUCKLES]
- 00:10:49,231 --> 00:10:51,524 This is Chandler's chicken.
- 00:10:53,277 --> 00:10:56,404 This is the turkey.
- 00:10:57,406 --> 00:11:00,533 Oh. How big is that?
- 00:11:00,743 --> 00:11:05,413 - About 19 pounds. - It's like me when I was born.
- 00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:10,085 All right, who would, uh, like some yams? Will?
- 00:11:10,252 --> 00:11:12,379 Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?
- 00:11:14,006 --> 00:11:17,425 What? Oh, you know what? Can we please keep the chicken...
- 00:11:17,593 --> 00:11:19,678 ...and the turkey and everything on the other side?
- 00:11:19,887 --> 00:11:23,640 - The smell is just... Yuck. - Typical. Ahem.
- 00:11:25,476 --> 00:11:27,811 - I'm sorry, what? - I said it was typical.
- 00:11:28,062 --> 00:11:29,396 Typical of you, Rachel Green.
- 00:11:29,563 --> 00:11:33,441 Queen Rachel, does whatever she wants in her little Rachel-land.
- 00:11:38,614 --> 00:11:40,448 Seriously, who is this guy?
- 00:11:40,950 --> 00:11:44,619 Um, ahem, sorry, do you have a problem with me?
- 00:11:44,829 --> 00:11:49,874 - I don't know. Do I? Do I? - I think you do.
- 00:11:51,502 --> 00:11:54,254 Apparently you were a little mean to him in high school.
- 00:11:54,463 --> 00:11:59,134 - A little mean? You made my life miserable. - I had no idea. I'm sorry.
- 00:11:59,343 --> 00:12:03,054 Well, you should be. Screw it. Bring on the yams.
- 00:12:03,472 --> 00:12:05,098 Will, but you've worked so hard.
- 00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:07,350 - Yams! - Okay.
- 00:12:10,438 --> 00:12:15,024 Uh, Will, I just wanna say that I'm real sorry for whatever I did to you in high school.
- 00:12:15,276 --> 00:12:17,277 Oh, it wasn't just me. We had a club.
- 00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:20,113 - You had a club? - That's right.
- 00:12:20,281 --> 00:12:23,283 The "I Hate Rachel Green Club."
- 00:12:23,492 --> 00:12:26,578 Oh, my God. So, what, you all just joined together to hate me?
- 00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:31,666 - Who else was in this club? - Me and Ross.
- 00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:39,758 No need to point. She knows who Ross is.
- 00:12:46,223 --> 00:12:50,894 - So you were in an "I Hate Rachel" club? - Yes, he was.
- 00:12:51,061 --> 00:12:52,270 No, no.
- 00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:56,441 So who else was in this club?
- 00:12:56,609 --> 00:13:00,361 Uh, actually, there was also that exchange student from Thailand.
- 00:13:00,529 --> 00:13:03,865 But I don't think he knew what it was.
- 00:13:04,408 --> 00:13:07,160 So, Ross, we went out for two years and you never told me...
- 00:13:07,328 --> 00:13:09,078 ...you were in an "I Hate Rachel Club."
- 00:13:09,246 --> 00:13:12,791 You went out with her? We had a pact.
- 00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:16,544 It was in high school. It's not like it was binding forever.
- 00:13:16,712 --> 00:13:19,255 Then why did it have the word "eternity" in it?
- 00:13:21,008 --> 00:13:23,843 Okay, Monica, did you know about this?
- 00:13:24,094 --> 00:13:25,929 I swear I didn't. Hey, is that why you guys...
- 00:13:26,096 --> 00:13:28,264 ...used to go up to your bedroom and lock the door?
- 00:13:28,432 --> 00:13:31,976 BOTH: Yeah. - Huh. A little relieved, I gotta say.
- 00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:38,441 Look, Rach, I'm sorry, okay? I was a stupid kid, okay?
- 00:13:38,609 --> 00:13:39,776 The only reason I joined...
- 00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:43,154 - Cofounded. - Cofounded.
- 00:13:44,698 --> 00:13:48,201 Cofounded the club, was that I was insanely in love with you.
- 00:13:48,410 --> 00:13:50,036 Obviously I didn't handle it very well...
- 00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:52,330 ...but if you think about it, the "I Hate Rachel Club"...
- 00:13:52,581 --> 00:13:54,874 ...was really the "I Love Rachel Club."
- 00:13:55,042 --> 00:13:57,877 Uh, except that it was really the "I Hate Rachel Club."
- 00:13:59,171 --> 00:14:03,466 Okay, so, what, you guys would just get together and say mean things about me?
- 00:14:03,717 --> 00:14:08,054 - Well, we did a little more than that. - No, no. No, no. No, no. Heh.
- 00:14:08,472 --> 00:14:09,931 What? What else did you do?
- 00:14:10,182 --> 00:14:12,725 - We started a rumor. - What rumor?
- 00:14:14,603 --> 00:14:18,565 Oh, come on, Will. Just take off your shirt and tell us.
- 00:14:21,902 --> 00:14:24,112 - Ross? - Ugh, it was no big deal.
- 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:30,577 Uh, we... We said that... The rumor was that, um...
- 00:14:30,828 --> 00:14:34,747 ...you had both male and female reproductive parts.
- 00:14:34,915 --> 00:14:36,165 Ha!
- 00:14:37,126 --> 00:14:38,251 - What? - That's right.
- 00:14:38,419 --> 00:14:40,211 We said your parents flipped a coin...
- 00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:44,257 ...decided to raise you as a girl, but you still had a hint of a penis.
- 00:14:46,302 --> 00:14:49,095 - Oh, my God. - You started that?
- 00:14:49,305 --> 00:14:53,808 - What, you heard that? - Everyone at our school heard it.
- 00:14:54,018 --> 00:14:57,312 Everybody at my school heard it. You were the hermaphrodite cheerleader?
- 00:14:57,521 --> 00:14:59,480 Oh, no.
- 00:15:00,774 --> 00:15:02,984 Oh, my God, this is all making so much sense to me now.
- 00:15:03,152 --> 00:15:05,111 This is why Adam Carter wouldn't go out with me.
- 00:15:05,321 --> 00:15:08,323 This is why Billy Tratt would just stay in this region.
- 00:15:08,574 --> 00:15:12,702 Actually, Billy Tratt is gay now, so that one's not really our fault.
- 00:15:13,704 --> 00:15:17,498 - Monica, how come you never told me this? - I thought it might be true.
- 00:15:17,666 --> 00:15:20,460 And I was afraid that you were gonna cry and then show it to me.
- 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:31,220 Joey, stop staring. There's nothing there. It's not true.
- 00:15:31,430 --> 00:15:33,765 - I'm afraid I'm gonna need proof. - Oh...
- 00:15:41,815 --> 00:15:43,441 [SIGHS]
- 00:15:48,739 --> 00:15:51,783 You are my Everest.
- 00:15:51,992 --> 00:15:56,371 - Joey, you don't have to finish that. - Oh, yes, I do. Otherwise, what's next?
- 00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:59,290 Today I'm just a guy who can't finish a turkey...
- 00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:01,834 ...but tomorrow I'm the guy who eats half a Power Bar...
- 00:16:02,086 --> 00:16:05,713 ...wraps up the rest and puts it in the fridge? No.
- 00:16:05,881 --> 00:16:10,593 I just gotta change my pants. What was I thinking? Jeans have no give.
- 00:16:14,056 --> 00:16:19,143 Okay. Okay. Listen to what Sean McMahon wrote in my yearbook senior year.
- 00:16:19,353 --> 00:16:24,315 "Dear Rach, you're such a great person." Not girl, "person."
- 00:16:24,566 --> 00:16:27,860 Rach, I think you're reading a little too much into it.
- 00:16:28,612 --> 00:16:32,490 "Dear Rach, you're a great person. Sorry about your teeny weenie."
- 00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:34,367 [LAUGHING]
- 00:16:36,245 --> 00:16:37,412 What do you want me to do...
- 00:16:37,579 --> 00:16:41,082 ...call everyone in the entire school and tell them it wasn't true?
- 00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:43,835 - Yes. - Could you also tell them I'm skinny now?
- 00:16:44,336 --> 00:16:46,921 Oh. Me too.
- 00:16:47,131 --> 00:16:50,675 Now, look, I'm not calling anybody, okay? It was like a million years ago.
- 00:16:50,884 --> 00:16:54,721 I don't care how long ago it was. You told people that I was half and half.
- 00:16:56,598 --> 00:16:58,182 You know what? I just wanna point out...
- 00:16:58,350 --> 00:17:00,351 ...I never did anything to hurt you in high school.
- 00:17:01,103 --> 00:17:02,979 That's not totally true.
- 00:17:03,230 --> 00:17:04,480 - What? - What?
- 00:17:04,690 --> 00:17:06,983 Well, you did start that rumor about Ross...
- 00:17:07,151 --> 00:17:11,070 ...making out with Mrs. Altmann, our 50-year-old librarian.
- 00:17:12,906 --> 00:17:15,241 How did you know that?
- 00:17:18,370 --> 00:17:21,789 - It's true? - No.
- 00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:25,585 Yes, it is. I saw you guys going at it behind the card catalog.
- 00:17:26,962 --> 00:17:29,547 Mrs. Altmann? She also made out...
- 00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:32,675 ...with Ta-Taka-Ki-Kek the night before he went back to Thailand.
- 00:17:34,928 --> 00:17:38,639 I'm sorry, when you were in high school you made out with a 50-year-old woman?
- 00:17:38,807 --> 00:17:42,977 - Hey, she didn't look 50. - Did she look 16?
- 00:17:43,228 --> 00:17:45,354 Oh, there's a picture of her in the yearbook actually.
- 00:17:45,522 --> 00:17:46,856 PHOEBE: Oh.
- 00:17:47,858 --> 00:17:51,778 - Wow. - She didn't photograph well.
- 00:17:51,987 --> 00:17:54,030 She probably wasn't familiar with the process...
- 00:17:54,198 --> 00:17:57,617 ...having spent most of her life sitting for oil paintings.
- 00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:03,831 So how did this happen? Did she lure you to an early-bird dinner?
- 00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:13,841 I was working late in the library one afternoon.
- 00:18:14,009 --> 00:18:15,510 It was just the two of us.
- 00:18:15,719 --> 00:18:18,137 She needed some help with her word jumble.
- 00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:23,851 And one thing led to another.
- 00:18:24,436 --> 00:18:30,108 If you must know, Anita was very gentle and tender.
- 00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:35,530 May she rest in peace.
- 00:18:36,907 --> 00:18:40,118 - Didn't she walk with a cane? - Only when it was damp.
- 00:18:41,745 --> 00:18:46,457 I can't believe you told people about this. Everybody knew?
- 00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:51,379 - You know what? I'm back in the club. - Yeah!
- 00:18:51,672 --> 00:18:53,548 - I wanna join. - What...? Phoebe?
- 00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:58,136 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I never got to be in a club. I didn't go to high school.
- 00:18:58,387 --> 00:19:01,222 But three of us would meet behind a Dumpster to learn French.
- 00:19:01,390 --> 00:19:03,015 [SPEAKS IN FRENCH]
- 00:19:03,183 --> 00:19:06,227 All right, you know, fine, you guys can have your stupid little club.
- 00:19:06,436 --> 00:19:10,898 But I would just like to say what you did to me is way worse than what I did to you.
- 00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:14,569 - You gave me a teeny weenie. - Ha, ha, yeah.
- 00:19:17,739 --> 00:19:20,950 All right, listen. You're just being silly.
- 00:19:21,118 --> 00:19:24,370 Rachel, even with that rumor you were one of the most popular girls in school.
- 00:19:24,538 --> 00:19:26,330 Everyone wanted to be like you.
- 00:19:26,498 --> 00:19:30,251 One girl wanted to be like you so much, she stuffed her pants with a Tootsie Roll.
- 00:19:30,460 --> 00:19:32,253 Wow.
- 00:19:33,589 --> 00:19:35,756 And, Ross, if it weren't for Rachel's rumor...
- 00:19:35,924 --> 00:19:38,593 ...I mean, no one in high school would have even known who you were.
- 00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:43,055 - She put you on the map. - As a romancer of the elderly.
- 00:19:44,224 --> 00:19:47,435 Hey, Mrs. Altmann was the kind of woman you could tell she used to be pretty.
- 00:19:47,644 --> 00:19:51,689 The eyes did still sparkle.
- 00:19:52,482 --> 00:19:57,069 Hey, guys, this stuff is so way in the past. You've been through so much since then.
- 00:19:57,321 --> 00:20:00,489 And right now, you got so much more important stuff going on in your lives.
- 00:20:00,657 --> 00:20:02,450 Can't you just let this go?
- 00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:07,246 She's right.
- 00:20:07,414 --> 00:20:09,957 Yeah, I mean, we are having a baby together.
- 00:20:10,167 --> 00:20:12,084 Hold on.
- 00:20:13,378 --> 00:20:16,088 - You got her pregnant? - Yeah.
- 00:20:16,548 --> 00:20:18,883 - Are you getting married? - No.
- 00:20:19,092 --> 00:20:22,136 So you knocked her up but you're not gonna marry her.
- 00:20:22,304 --> 00:20:23,804 Dude.
- 00:20:26,767 --> 00:20:30,019 - Anybody? - Okay.
- 00:20:34,399 --> 00:20:37,068 It's exactly how I imagined it would be.
- 00:20:39,780 --> 00:20:42,531 All right, where's that turkey?
- 00:20:47,204 --> 00:20:52,541 - Joey, those are my maternity pants. - No, these are my Thanksgiving pants.
- 00:20:59,633 --> 00:21:02,843 Well, that's it. I'm done.
- 00:21:03,053 --> 00:21:04,595 Whew.
- 00:21:05,305 --> 00:21:07,348 Here come the meat sweats.
- 00:21:11,812 --> 00:21:14,605 Well, Joey, we're all very proud of you.
- 00:21:14,815 --> 00:21:19,527 Yes, I believe we can expect a call from the president any moment now.
- 00:21:19,778 --> 00:21:24,156 - Is there anything we can do for you? - No, just nobody press on my stomach.
- 00:21:24,366 --> 00:21:25,908 You can keep those pants, by the way.
- 00:21:28,620 --> 00:21:32,707 What...? What do you got there? What is that, pie?
- 00:21:32,916 --> 00:21:37,086 - Heh. Yeah, you want some? - Just cut me a little sliver.
- 00:21:39,131 --> 00:21:41,382 A little bigger.
- 00:21:42,426 --> 00:21:44,093 Little bigger.
- 00:21:44,344 --> 00:21:46,804 What, are you afraid you're gonna run out? Cut me a real piece.
- 00:21:51,727 --> 00:21:53,728 [English - US - SDH]
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