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Эпизод с отцом Чендлера
The One with Chandler's Dad
Сезон: 07Серия: 22
Описание
По настоянию Моники Чендлер пытается помириться со своим отчужденным отцом-геем (Кэтлин Тернер): пара отправляется в Вегас на одно из травести-шоу мистера Бинга, где отец и сын наконец мирятся, и мистер Бинг соглашается присутствовать на свадьбе. Рейчел, безответственная водительница, катается на Porsche Моники с испуганным Россом и в итоге попадает за рулем без действительного водительского удостоверения. Затем она флиртует с полицейским, чтобы избежать штрафа. Позже Росса останавливают за слишком медленную езду по автостраде, и он тоже пытается флиртовать, чтобы избежать штрафа, но безуспешно. Тем временем Джои следует совету Фиби о своей мужественности, что приводит к тому, что он примеряет женское нижнее белье.
Субтитры
- 00:00:02,919 --> 00:00:04,336 - Hey. MONICA: Hey.
- 00:00:04,504 --> 00:00:06,964 I saw the Porsche parked out front.
- 00:00:07,132 --> 00:00:10,509 Can I get the keys? I'll take that bad boy for a spin.
- 00:00:10,677 --> 00:00:15,723 Ross drives it? When I ask, you say you're the only one allowed to.
- 00:00:15,890 --> 00:00:19,393 He's my brother, plus he drives so slow he couldn't hurt it.
- 00:00:19,561 --> 00:00:22,229 It's a car, Monica, not a rocket ship.
- 00:00:22,772 --> 00:00:23,814 Whatever, Ross.
- 00:00:23,982 --> 00:00:26,942 Just replace the bulbs in the brake lights after you're done.
- 00:00:27,110 --> 00:00:28,235 [RACHEL CHUCKLES]
- 00:00:28,778 --> 00:00:30,195 - Hey. ROSS: Hi.
- 00:00:30,363 --> 00:00:34,825 Saw the Porsche. Looking good. When can I take it out again?
- 00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:42,541 - You let Joey drive it? - I've never driven it. Not once.
- 00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:45,794 Okay, once. Okay, I drive it all the time.
- 00:00:48,173 --> 00:00:52,301 So much for the "you can drive it but don't tell Rachel" plan.
- 00:00:53,428 --> 00:00:55,512 Wow, I can't believe you lied to me.
- 00:00:55,680 --> 00:01:00,642 I can fix this. Monica, Rachel thinks all you can talk about is the wedding.
- 00:01:02,937 --> 00:01:07,483 I won't let you drive the Porsche because you're a terrible driver.
- 00:01:07,692 --> 00:01:10,319 There. That wasn't about the wedding.
- 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:16,825 If you want a ride in the Porsche, I'll take you around the block.
- 00:01:16,993 --> 00:01:18,494 You got a couple hours?
- 00:01:58,993 --> 00:02:00,702 Whew, that was a brisk ride.
- 00:02:00,870 --> 00:02:02,079 [PANTING]
- 00:02:03,081 --> 00:02:05,791 - Take the top down, did you? - Only way to fly.
- 00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,334 [RACHEL CHUCKLES]
- 00:02:07,502 --> 00:02:12,214 Give me the keys. Monica's wrong. I'm an excellent driver.
- 00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:16,468 You're fast and irresponsible. That adds up to a bad driver.
- 00:02:16,636 --> 00:02:20,222 In high school, that added up to head cheerleader.
- 00:02:24,352 --> 00:02:27,813 Did you see the look that girl just gave me, huh?
- 00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:30,774 She must've seen me cruising in the bad boy.
- 00:02:30,942 --> 00:02:34,153 - She's checking out your beehive. - What?
- 00:02:35,238 --> 00:02:37,406 - Give me a brush. - Give me the keys.
- 00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:39,158 - No way! - Well, no brush.
- 00:02:39,367 --> 00:02:41,201 Fine. It doesn't matter.
- 00:02:41,369 --> 00:02:45,455 If I remember correctly, there's a comb on the floor of the bathroom.
- 00:03:02,348 --> 00:03:03,473 Alimony.
- 00:03:07,687 --> 00:03:10,981 We still haven't gotten an RSVP from your dad.
- 00:03:11,232 --> 00:03:15,777 Oh, right. Um, maybe that's because I didn't send him an invitation.
- 00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:20,032 Chandler, he's your father. He should be at your wedding.
- 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:24,203 I don't even know him. I haven't seen him in years.
- 00:03:24,370 --> 00:03:26,914 And when he finds out he wasn't asked?
- 00:03:27,081 --> 00:03:29,374 We don't run in the same circles.
- 00:03:29,542 --> 00:03:32,669 I hang out with you guys and he...
- 00:03:32,837 --> 00:03:35,547 ...stars in a drag show in Vegas.
- 00:03:35,965 --> 00:03:38,342 Ooh, I think I want to trade circles.
- 00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:42,179 You don't want him there. Nobody will stare at the bride...
- 00:03:42,430 --> 00:03:45,724 ...when the groom's father's wearing a backless dress.
- 00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:47,059 Heh, so what?
- 00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:50,646 As long as he's not wearing a white dress and a veil, I don't care.
- 00:03:50,813 --> 00:03:53,273 I think I need to do some shopping.
- 00:03:57,779 --> 00:03:59,905 Ah.
- 00:04:00,448 --> 00:04:02,866 Ooh, nice.
- 00:04:03,326 --> 00:04:04,910 [RACHEL YELLS]
- 00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:06,536 My God!
- 00:04:07,872 --> 00:04:11,959 - What do you think you're doing? - Just washing the windshield.
- 00:04:12,126 --> 00:04:13,794 [GRUNTING]
- 00:04:16,798 --> 00:04:19,841 There's no way I'll let you drive this car.
- 00:04:20,009 --> 00:04:22,844 - Just hand over the keys. - Oh.
- 00:04:23,012 --> 00:04:24,096 Oh, ah-ah-ah!
- 00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,640 Do not start this car.
- 00:04:27,141 --> 00:04:29,017 [ENGINE STARTS]
- 00:04:29,894 --> 00:04:32,688 Okay, okay. I will give you 20 bucks...
- 00:04:32,855 --> 00:04:36,358 ...if you get out of this car right now. Hey!
- 00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:39,653 Look.
- 00:04:39,821 --> 00:04:42,406 If you're so freaked out, get in the car.
- 00:04:42,573 --> 00:04:44,283 With you? Yeah, right.
- 00:04:44,450 --> 00:04:45,701 All right.
- 00:04:45,868 --> 00:04:47,953 Okay, okay, okay.
- 00:04:51,791 --> 00:04:55,669 - What are you doing? Get in front. - In the death seat?
- 00:05:02,343 --> 00:05:04,136 - Hey, guys. - Hi, sweetie.
- 00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:07,639 - Ready to go? - My purse is at Mon's. I'll be back.
- 00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:09,099 - Wait a minute. - What?
- 00:05:09,267 --> 00:05:10,726 Oh.
- 00:05:11,853 --> 00:05:12,894 Ooh!
- 00:05:13,062 --> 00:05:14,521 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:05:14,689 --> 00:05:15,814 Oops.
- 00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:18,108 Whoa, oh, that one kept going.
- 00:05:19,944 --> 00:05:21,194 [JAKE SIGHS]
- 00:05:23,114 --> 00:05:25,073 So, you and Phoebe, huh?
- 00:05:25,241 --> 00:05:27,242 - How long have you been going out? - A month.
- 00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:30,829 Wow. We ought to get to know each other better.
- 00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:34,583 - Sure. I'd like that. - Yeah. So, uh...
- 00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:37,210 What's your name?
- 00:05:37,378 --> 00:05:38,920 [LAUGHS]
- 00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:41,840 - It's Jake. - Joey.
- 00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:44,551 - Do you like the Knicks? - Yeah, big fan.
- 00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:48,388 Me too. There's a game Tuesday. Do you want to go?
- 00:05:48,556 --> 00:05:52,309 Great! Let me make sure I'm not doing anything Tuesday.
- 00:06:00,318 --> 00:06:02,027 Here.
- 00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:05,739 - What's this? - Your suitcase. We're going to Vegas.
- 00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:08,992 Are you serious? Eloping? No more stupid wedding stuff.
- 00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:13,580 No more these flowers, these flowers. Think of the money we'll save.
- 00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:17,626 We're not eloping. I love the flowers. Can our wedding be bigger, please?
- 00:06:18,711 --> 00:06:20,587 We're going to see your dad.
- 00:06:20,755 --> 00:06:23,298 I want to get to know my father-in-law.
- 00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:25,509 We already went over this and I won.
- 00:06:25,676 --> 00:06:28,637 No, you didn't. Honey, just so you know...
- 00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:31,640 Now that you're marrying me, you don't get to win anymore.
- 00:06:33,184 --> 00:06:36,978 Forget it. I don't want to go. I don't want to see him.
- 00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:39,856 I know your dad embarrassed you.
- 00:06:40,024 --> 00:06:42,567 All kids are embarrassed by their parents.
- 00:06:42,735 --> 00:06:46,071 You need a new word for what I went through.
- 00:06:46,781 --> 00:06:49,199 In high school, he came to all my swim meets...
- 00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:52,577 ...dressed as a Hollywood starlet.
- 00:06:53,037 --> 00:06:54,121 It's hard enough to be 14.
- 00:06:54,288 --> 00:06:58,417 You're skinny, wearing Speedos your mom promised you'd grow into.
- 00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:04,047 You look up in the stands. There's your dad cheering you on.
- 00:07:04,215 --> 00:07:08,135 Dressed as Carmen Miranda, wearing a headdress with real fruit...
- 00:07:08,302 --> 00:07:12,848 ...that he'll later give to your friends as a healthy snack.
- 00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:18,270 The point is that he was at every one of your swim meets cheering you on.
- 00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:20,397 That's a pretty great dad.
- 00:07:20,565 --> 00:07:22,524 He had sex with Mr. Garibaldi.
- 00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:25,986 - Who's Mr. Garibaldi? - Does it matter?
- 00:07:27,738 --> 00:07:29,072 Chandler...
- 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:34,077 You're not 14 anymore, okay? Maybe it's time you let that stuff go.
- 00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:40,542 If he's not at your wedding, you'll regret it for the rest of your life.
- 00:07:42,837 --> 00:07:45,714 Okay, but I'm just doing this for you.
- 00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:47,299 Yes!
- 00:07:48,259 --> 00:07:52,262 - I never get to win anymore? - How much did you ever win before?
- 00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:57,976 - Pheebs. - Hey.
- 00:07:58,144 --> 00:08:01,938 You know how, uh, when you're wearing pants and you lean forward...
- 00:08:02,106 --> 00:08:03,565 ...I check out your underwear?
- 00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:05,233 Yeah.
- 00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:08,111 - Well, when Jake did it... - Mm-hm.
- 00:08:08,279 --> 00:08:11,823 ...I saw that he was wearing women's underwear.
- 00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:13,742 I know. They were mine.
- 00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:15,660 Oh.
- 00:08:15,828 --> 00:08:17,078 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:08:17,246 --> 00:08:19,664 No, no, wait. That's weird.
- 00:08:20,249 --> 00:08:23,668 We were goofing around, and I dared him to try them on.
- 00:08:24,212 --> 00:08:25,253 That's weird!
- 00:08:25,421 --> 00:08:29,257 - I'm wearing his briefs right now. - That's kind of hot.
- 00:08:29,967 --> 00:08:35,472 I think so too. And that little flap? Great for holding my lipstick.
- 00:08:40,561 --> 00:08:42,395 I wouldn't know about that.
- 00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:48,109 Jake says that women's underwear is actually more comfortable.
- 00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:51,279 He loves how silk feels against his skin.
- 00:08:51,447 --> 00:08:55,700 Next he'll say your high heels are good for his posture.
- 00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:59,412 There's nothing wrong with Jake. He is all man.
- 00:08:59,664 --> 00:09:01,331 I think, more than you.
- 00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:05,377 He looked like a real lumberjack in those pink lacies.
- 00:09:06,462 --> 00:09:10,674 Only a man completely secure with his masculinity...
- 00:09:10,841 --> 00:09:14,135 ...could walk around in women's underwear. I don't think you could.
- 00:09:14,303 --> 00:09:18,348 - I am secure with my masculinity. - Okay, whatever.
- 00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:21,101 You've seen my huge stack of porn.
- 00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:27,190 [NELLY'S "RIDE WIT ME" PLAYING ON CAR STEREO]
- 00:09:27,441 --> 00:09:30,235 Where they at? Where they at? Where they at? Where they at?
- 00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:31,987 [RACHEL SIGHS]
- 00:09:32,530 --> 00:09:35,490 God, I forgot how much I love driving.
- 00:09:35,658 --> 00:09:38,368 I have got to get my license renewed.
- 00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:45,375 You don't have a valid driver's license? Pull over right now.
- 00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:48,628 You're so tense. You just gotta relax, okay?
- 00:09:48,796 --> 00:09:53,925 Okay? Just need to relax. All right? Just need to relax.
- 00:09:54,093 --> 00:09:57,971 What are you...? That's not funny. Stop horsing around.
- 00:09:58,139 --> 00:10:00,390 I am not horsing around, okay?
- 00:10:00,558 --> 00:10:03,852 I am "Porsche-ing" around.
- 00:10:04,895 --> 00:10:06,771 [POLICE SIREN WAILING]
- 00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:10,775 Uh-oh.
- 00:10:10,943 --> 00:10:16,072 Stay calm. Nothing will happen. You're not in that much trouble.
- 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:17,657 Really? You think so?
- 00:10:17,825 --> 00:10:20,619 I'm talking to myself. You're going down!
- 00:10:45,811 --> 00:10:47,395 [GRUMBLES]
- 00:10:58,449 --> 00:11:00,450 [CHER'S "BELIEVE" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
- 00:11:00,618 --> 00:11:04,245 I can feel something inside me say
- 00:11:04,413 --> 00:11:06,164 Has someone taken your order?
- 00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:11,878 Oh, yeah. She did. Um, he did. She? I'm sorry, I'm new. I don't...
- 00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:13,963 Mm-hm.
- 00:11:14,131 --> 00:11:17,342 - I just ordered a beer. - You're straight. I get it.
- 00:11:20,137 --> 00:11:22,389 If we called your dad, we'd have better seats.
- 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:26,434 I don't want him to know we're here yet. I'm not ready.
- 00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:29,437 He won't be too happy to see me either.
- 00:11:29,605 --> 00:11:30,980 Why not?
- 00:11:31,857 --> 00:11:35,610 I don't know if I told you this, but he's kind of tried to contact me...
- 00:11:35,778 --> 00:11:38,822 ...a lot over the last few years. - What?
- 00:11:38,989 --> 00:11:42,117 Yeah. He's made phone calls, written letters.
- 00:11:42,284 --> 00:11:45,912 He even came to New York. I said I was too busy.
- 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:48,748 It's very "Cat's in the Cradle." I don't want to get into it.
- 00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:52,168 [CHANDLER SIGHS]
- 00:11:52,336 --> 00:11:53,628 Here we go.
- 00:11:53,796 --> 00:11:55,714 ANNOUNCER [OVER PA]: Ladies and gentlemen...
- 00:11:55,881 --> 00:12:00,218 ...please welcome the incomparable Helena Handbasket.
- 00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:05,724 Hello, darlings.
- 00:12:05,891 --> 00:12:08,184 And there's Daddy.
- 00:12:14,066 --> 00:12:18,319 Okay. Switch places with me. Come on! I'll go under, you go over.
- 00:12:18,487 --> 00:12:21,322 - Yeah, I'll get right on that. - Ugh, come on!
- 00:12:21,490 --> 00:12:23,074 What? No. Hey, Rach, come on.
- 00:12:24,493 --> 00:12:26,870 I'm sure we won't get arrested for this.
- 00:12:28,873 --> 00:12:30,290 God!
- 00:12:33,627 --> 00:12:37,464 Hi, officer. Was I going a little too fast?
- 00:12:37,673 --> 00:12:39,257 Oh, my God.
- 00:12:40,092 --> 00:12:43,136 - Can I see your license, please? - Oh, yes, absolutely.
- 00:12:43,345 --> 00:12:47,849 It's weird. I had a dream last night that I was stopped by a policeman.
- 00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:49,058 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:12:49,226 --> 00:12:50,268 And then he, um...
- 00:12:50,519 --> 00:12:54,147 Well, I probably shouldn't tell you the rest.
- 00:12:55,024 --> 00:12:59,778 - Your license. - Yes. Ahem. Here you go, Officer, uh...
- 00:12:59,987 --> 00:13:01,446 ...Handsome.
- 00:13:02,239 --> 00:13:05,408 - It's Hanson. - Oops, sorry. My mistake.
- 00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:07,577 Dear Lord!
- 00:13:09,079 --> 00:13:11,039 - Wow! - Here it comes.
- 00:13:11,540 --> 00:13:12,874 This is a great picture.
- 00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:14,375 Ah!
- 00:13:14,543 --> 00:13:18,087 Really? You think so? You know, I had just rolled right out of bed.
- 00:13:18,255 --> 00:13:19,923 You look phenomenal.
- 00:13:20,090 --> 00:13:23,009 She should! It was taken 10 years ago!
- 00:13:26,347 --> 00:13:28,473 You know, you're probably, um...
- 00:13:28,682 --> 00:13:30,642 Probably wondering about the old date.
- 00:13:30,893 --> 00:13:34,020 Yes, I am. You're an Aquarius, huh?
- 00:13:35,773 --> 00:13:38,066 - I'll bet you're a Gemini. - No.
- 00:13:38,317 --> 00:13:39,567 - Taurus? - No.
- 00:13:39,735 --> 00:13:41,569 - Virgo? - No.
- 00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:43,780 - Sagittarius? - Yep.
- 00:13:43,948 --> 00:13:46,407 I knew it. I knew it!
- 00:13:46,575 --> 00:13:49,577 - You won't speed anymore, right? - I won't speed.
- 00:13:49,745 --> 00:13:52,539 - Promise to take care of this? - I promise.
- 00:13:52,706 --> 00:13:54,666 Let him drive. Does he have a license?
- 00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:57,252 - Yeah. - Can he handle a stick?
- 00:13:57,419 --> 00:14:00,922 - Oh, well... - I can handle a stick!
- 00:14:02,550 --> 00:14:04,801 [PIANO PLAYING "I FEEL PRETTY"]
- 00:14:04,969 --> 00:14:06,469 [SINGING] I feel pretty
- 00:14:06,637 --> 00:14:08,304 Oh, so pretty
- 00:14:08,472 --> 00:14:11,015 I feel pretty and witty and
- 00:14:11,183 --> 00:14:12,517 AUDIENCE: Gay
- 00:14:15,729 --> 00:14:20,233 - That can't be your father. - I've been saying that for years.
- 00:14:20,401 --> 00:14:22,527 - Oh, my God! - What?
- 00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:25,238 That's Mr. Garibaldi playing the piano.
- 00:14:25,906 --> 00:14:26,948 [MONICA CHUCKLES]
- 00:14:27,366 --> 00:14:29,117 For I'm loved
- 00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:34,247 By a pretty wonderful boy
- 00:14:35,624 --> 00:14:37,041 [AUDIENCE CHEERING]
- 00:14:39,253 --> 00:14:41,963 Hello, and welcome to the show.
- 00:14:42,131 --> 00:14:46,009 I see some of our regulars in the audience.
- 00:14:46,260 --> 00:14:49,512 And a couple of irregulars.
- 00:14:51,223 --> 00:14:55,268 - He's coming into the audience. - Relax. You'll be fine.
- 00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:59,022 Oh, much better. You're invisible now.
- 00:14:59,690 --> 00:15:02,483 - Where are you from? - Bakersfield.
- 00:15:02,651 --> 00:15:04,694 - I'm sorry? - Bakersfield.
- 00:15:04,862 --> 00:15:07,906 No, no, I heard. I'm just sorry.
- 00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:11,618 I'll meet you back at the hotel.
- 00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:17,373 Look, a standing ovation already. So early in the show.
- 00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:21,544 Turn around, darling. Let me see your pretty face.
- 00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:33,932 Can we have our drinks, please? Uh, waiter? ...tress?
- 00:15:45,527 --> 00:15:47,654 - Hey, Pheebs. - Hey.
- 00:15:49,865 --> 00:15:51,449 Check it out.
- 00:15:52,284 --> 00:15:53,826 Huh?
- 00:15:56,914 --> 00:15:58,998 How much of a man am I?
- 00:15:59,208 --> 00:16:03,836 Wow, nice. Manly, and also kind of a slut.
- 00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:08,174 You know, I'm beginning to see what Jake was talking about.
- 00:16:08,342 --> 00:16:10,843 - Uh-huh. - The silk feels really good.
- 00:16:11,595 --> 00:16:16,474 And things aren't as smashed down as I thought they would be.
- 00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:17,850 That's great.
- 00:16:18,018 --> 00:16:20,770 You have so many more choices than with men's underwear.
- 00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:26,359 Bikini, French cut, thong. And the fabrics: Cotton, silk, lace.
- 00:16:26,527 --> 00:16:30,196 You know what I've always wondered about? Pantyhose!
- 00:16:30,406 --> 00:16:34,534 The way they start at your toe, then they go all the way up to...
- 00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:40,957 - I should go take these off. - I think it's important you do.
- 00:16:41,125 --> 00:16:42,333 Mm.
- 00:16:44,211 --> 00:16:45,461 What's your name?
- 00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:49,507 Chandler.
- 00:16:50,968 --> 00:16:52,051 Chandler?
- 00:16:52,219 --> 00:16:54,512 What an unusual name.
- 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:58,057 You must have had terribly fascinating parents.
- 00:16:58,225 --> 00:17:00,184 Oh, they're a hoot.
- 00:17:02,312 --> 00:17:04,063 And who is your friend?
- 00:17:04,606 --> 00:17:07,108 I'm Monica.
- 00:17:07,276 --> 00:17:10,945 - Monica. Where are you from? - New York.
- 00:17:11,655 --> 00:17:14,032 I'm not very fond of New York.
- 00:17:14,199 --> 00:17:16,784 Queens, I like.
- 00:17:18,287 --> 00:17:20,371 Ooh, what is this...
- 00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:24,292 ...sparkling something, honey, huh?
- 00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:25,793 [AUDIENCE OOHING]
- 00:17:25,961 --> 00:17:28,755 Actually, Monica and I are engaged.
- 00:17:29,965 --> 00:17:31,716 Really?
- 00:17:32,259 --> 00:17:34,135 Congratulations.
- 00:17:34,970 --> 00:17:36,679 When's the big day?
- 00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:40,433 In two weeks.
- 00:17:41,602 --> 00:17:43,061 I see.
- 00:17:44,521 --> 00:17:49,192 Well, I wish you both a lifetime of happiness.
- 00:17:49,985 --> 00:17:52,320 So you're bald.
- 00:17:52,488 --> 00:17:54,155 Wait, wait.
- 00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:59,285 We'd really love it if you could be there.
- 00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:03,039 Really?
- 00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:07,126 I know it would make me happy...
- 00:18:08,337 --> 00:18:09,837 ...ma'am.
- 00:18:12,424 --> 00:18:15,009 Then I wouldn't miss it for the world.
- 00:18:16,470 --> 00:18:19,013 Oh, I'm getting all misty here. Ha!
- 00:18:19,389 --> 00:18:22,225 You'd think I was having my legs waxed or something.
- 00:18:26,897 --> 00:18:29,690 - You okay? - Yeah.
- 00:18:29,858 --> 00:18:32,151 Thanks for making me do this.
- 00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:37,240 Before we go on with the show, I want to say to the bride and groom...
- 00:18:37,407 --> 00:18:40,326 ...how lucky they are to have found each other.
- 00:18:41,328 --> 00:18:44,080 In every life a little rain must fall.
- 00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:45,623 Fortunately...
- 00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:47,792 ...in my life...
- 00:18:51,421 --> 00:18:53,422 [SINGING] It's raining men
- 00:18:53,632 --> 00:18:55,258 CHORUS: Hallelujah
- 00:18:55,425 --> 00:18:58,845 - It's raining men, uh-huh - Amen
- 00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:06,018 When I was growing up, I played the one on the far left.
- 00:19:08,605 --> 00:19:11,774 CHORUS: And it's raining men, amen
- 00:19:11,942 --> 00:19:13,943 [CAR HORNS HONKING]
- 00:19:17,447 --> 00:19:19,448 Remind me to introduce you to someone.
- 00:19:19,616 --> 00:19:21,159 - Who? - Fourth gear.
- 00:19:22,369 --> 00:19:23,494 [POLICE SIREN WAILING]
- 00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:26,038 What?
- 00:19:26,206 --> 00:19:28,457 What does he want? I wasn't doing anything.
- 00:19:28,625 --> 00:19:33,337 Maybe he saw your hands slip briefly from the 10 and 2:00 position.
- 00:19:35,632 --> 00:19:40,052 Maybe it's, uh, Sergeant Sagittarius coming back to flirt some more.
- 00:19:42,973 --> 00:19:44,265 It's a different guy.
- 00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:45,683 [ROSS SIGHS]
- 00:19:47,394 --> 00:19:51,105 - Good evening, officer. - Do you know how fast you were going?
- 00:19:51,315 --> 00:19:55,109 Uh, no, I don't, but it could not have been more than 60.
- 00:19:55,277 --> 00:19:57,069 You're right. It was 37.
- 00:19:57,237 --> 00:19:58,738 [RACHEL LAUGHS]
- 00:20:02,034 --> 00:20:05,286 You're not ticketing me for driving too slow, are you?
- 00:20:05,495 --> 00:20:07,205 That's right.
- 00:20:15,881 --> 00:20:17,632 You know, officer, I, uh...
- 00:20:19,134 --> 00:20:21,552 I had the weirdest dream last night.
- 00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:23,971 Oh, my God!
- 00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:26,015 Your license, please.
- 00:20:26,183 --> 00:20:27,516 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:20:27,684 --> 00:20:31,020 You don't want to hear about my dream...
- 00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:32,772 ...Officer...
- 00:20:32,940 --> 00:20:34,357 ...Pretty?
- 00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:39,528 It's Petty.
- 00:20:41,114 --> 00:20:43,574 I'll be right back with your ticket.
- 00:20:46,161 --> 00:20:49,205 - You have a son. - I know. I know.
- 00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:58,422 - Feel better? - Yeah. Much. Heh.
- 00:20:58,590 --> 00:21:00,258 Listen, uh...
- 00:21:00,425 --> 00:21:05,763 Not that I'm insecure about my manhood or anything, but, uh...
- 00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:08,683 ...I need to hook up with a woman right now.
- 00:21:09,142 --> 00:21:12,019 - I understand. - Yeah, okay.
- 00:21:16,608 --> 00:21:18,651 - Hey. Hi. - Hi.
- 00:21:18,819 --> 00:21:21,404 You look familiar. Do I know you?
- 00:21:21,571 --> 00:21:22,905 I don't think so.
- 00:21:23,073 --> 00:21:25,491 Maybe it's because I'm on television.
- 00:21:27,619 --> 00:21:31,497 - I'm an actor on Days ofour Lives. - Wow. Really?
- 00:21:31,707 --> 00:21:34,500 - Four-fifty, please. - Oh, let me get this.
- 00:21:45,470 --> 00:21:46,721 These are for you.
- 00:21:55,272 --> 00:21:57,273 [English - US - SDH]
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