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Эпизод с дешёвым свадебным платьем
The One with the Cheap Wedding Dress
Сезон: 07Серия: 17
Описание
Моника побеждает другую невесту в драке за свадебное платье со скидкой. Однако её счастье оказывается недолгим, когда ей приходится отказаться от своего приза после того, как другая невеста шантажирует её, требуя вернуть платье, забронировав выступление любимой группы Чендлера в тот же день, что и её свадьба. Тем временем Джои и Росс проявляют интерес к той же девушке (Габриэль Юнион) и идут на крайние меры, чтобы завоевать её сердце.
Субтитры
- 00:00:06,089 --> 00:00:11,343 The caterer sent me this list of 12 appetizers. I have to narrow it to six.
- 00:00:11,553 --> 00:00:13,679 Food? Oh, give me.
- 00:00:13,888 --> 00:00:19,184 So did Monica tell you we're trying to get The Swing Kings to play the wedding?
- 00:00:19,394 --> 00:00:21,020 Since when are you into swing music?
- 00:00:21,229 --> 00:00:24,857 Since forever. I used to go all over town listening to bands.
- 00:00:25,066 --> 00:00:28,402 - Chandler. - Gap commercial.
- 00:00:30,321 --> 00:00:33,866 - So did you book them? Did you call? - I will.
- 00:00:34,117 --> 00:00:38,370 - You want me to call? - No. I'll do it. You stick to your job.
- 00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:41,540 - What is your job? - Staying out of the way.
- 00:00:42,625 --> 00:00:46,587 This is impossible. Why don't you just pick all 15?
- 00:00:46,838 --> 00:00:50,424 - There were only 12. - Oh, yeah, I added three.
- 00:00:50,633 --> 00:00:53,260 What are "peanut-butter fingers"?
- 00:01:43,478 --> 00:01:45,646 Well, hello.
- 00:01:45,855 --> 00:01:47,648 She's cute.
- 00:01:47,857 --> 00:01:50,025 Should we go try to talk to her?
- 00:01:50,276 --> 00:01:55,447 Sure. The great thing about being engaged, I'm not nervous to talk to pretty girls anymore.
- 00:01:55,657 --> 00:01:57,574 Could you guys help me?
- 00:01:57,742 --> 00:01:59,076 [CHANDLER GIGGLES]
- 00:02:00,578 --> 00:02:02,913 Yeah, let me get that for you.
- 00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:06,959 - It's really heavy. - I got it.
- 00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:08,627 Oh!
- 00:02:10,171 --> 00:02:14,800 So hi, I'm Ross, and this is my friend, Chandler.
- 00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:18,762 I'm Kristen.
- 00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:21,390 Kristen. Hi. Are you new to the area?
- 00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:24,643 Because if you are, I'd love to show you around sometime.
- 00:02:24,853 --> 00:02:28,355 - I actually just moved from four blocks over. - Oh.
- 00:02:28,565 --> 00:02:31,108 But this block is like a whole other world.
- 00:02:31,359 --> 00:02:35,320 Actually, it does have a very interesting history.
- 00:02:35,572 --> 00:02:40,993 This street is the first street in the city to have an underground sewer system.
- 00:02:41,953 --> 00:02:44,329 Before that, sewage and waste...
- 00:02:44,581 --> 00:02:47,791 ...would just flow right down the street. Yeah.
- 00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:50,669 Sometimes ankle-deep.
- 00:02:51,796 --> 00:02:53,380 Smooth.
- 00:02:55,091 --> 00:02:56,717 Excuse me?
- 00:02:56,885 --> 00:02:58,218 [CHANDLER GIGGLES]
- 00:02:59,637 --> 00:03:05,017 You're gonna be starving after moving. What do you say I take you to dinner tonight?
- 00:03:05,226 --> 00:03:06,977 - I'd like that. - Yeah? Great.
- 00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:08,437 Let me take this up.
- 00:03:08,646 --> 00:03:11,940 - After you. - Oh, no. After you.
- 00:03:13,651 --> 00:03:15,485 Oh, my God!
- 00:03:23,494 --> 00:03:26,747 Am I crazy, or does this totally go?
- 00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:32,419 RACHEL: Oh, my God! You look so beautiful!
- 00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:35,923 Thank you, Rachel. But look at Monica!
- 00:03:36,925 --> 00:03:40,093 This is it. Yeah, this is the one.
- 00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:42,596 I can't believe I found it.
- 00:03:42,847 --> 00:03:47,476 Wow, you look so beautiful. If I knew you, I'd cry.
- 00:03:47,852 --> 00:03:51,146 I'm Monica Geller. Ball like a baby.
- 00:03:51,356 --> 00:03:52,731 I'm Megan Bailey.
- 00:03:52,941 --> 00:03:56,610 - Have you found your dress yet? - No. These dresses are all so amazing...
- 00:03:56,861 --> 00:04:00,447 ...but I couldn't afford one. - No, I can't afford this either.
- 00:04:00,698 --> 00:04:05,535 I'm here to figure out the one I want, then I'll get it at Kleinman's, this discount place.
- 00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:07,955 Day after tomorrow, they're having a huge sale.
- 00:04:08,164 --> 00:04:11,500 - Thanks for the tip. - When are you getting married?
- 00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:16,797 - I'm not. I just like to try these on. - I do the same thing.
- 00:04:17,632 --> 00:04:21,510 I'm just kidding. I'm getting married July 25th.
- 00:04:22,303 --> 00:04:24,554 I'm just kidding too. Ha, ha.
- 00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:27,432 I'm getting married in December.
- 00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:31,895 - When are you getting married? - May 15th.
- 00:04:32,146 --> 00:04:34,731 Ooh. It's close. So who's your photographer?
- 00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:36,733 - Jeffrey. - We met with him.
- 00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:42,030 - Did he show you nude wedding photos? - Best Man? Wow!
- 00:04:42,448 --> 00:04:45,325 I know. I almost called off my wedding. Heh, heh, heh.
- 00:04:45,493 --> 00:04:49,204 - Oh, who's your band? - My fiancé wants The Swing Kings.
- 00:04:49,414 --> 00:04:53,542 You're lucky. My fiancé wants the heavy metal band, Carcass.
- 00:04:53,751 --> 00:04:58,672 Is that spelled with a "C" or a "K"? Oh, my God, it doesn't matter, they're both great!
- 00:05:00,466 --> 00:05:02,509 Oh, you know what? Don't buy that here.
- 00:05:02,719 --> 00:05:06,346 Now that you know what you want, go to Kleinman's. Get it half off.
- 00:05:06,597 --> 00:05:08,724 This place is so over-priced.
- 00:05:08,933 --> 00:05:10,851 I own this store.
- 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:16,023 So does this come in another color, or...
- 00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:28,827 Hi. You moving in or moving out?
- 00:05:29,037 --> 00:05:31,038 - Moving in. - Can I give you a hand?
- 00:05:31,247 --> 00:05:36,126 Okay, but be careful. The guy who was helping before had to leave because he hurt his back.
- 00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:38,712 - Boyfriend? - No.
- 00:05:38,921 --> 00:05:40,630 I'm Joey.
- 00:05:41,299 --> 00:05:42,341 Kristen.
- 00:05:42,550 --> 00:05:45,427 Wow. What a beautiful name.
- 00:05:46,262 --> 00:05:48,347 What is it again?
- 00:05:49,265 --> 00:05:51,767 - Kristen. - Ah, that's it. Okay.
- 00:05:52,477 --> 00:05:55,228 - You live around here? - Yeah. Yeah, right down there.
- 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,314 Let me give you a tip.
- 00:05:57,565 --> 00:06:02,319 Don't take a nap on this stoop. You could wake up without shoes.
- 00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:04,821 - I'll remember that. - Okay.
- 00:06:05,073 --> 00:06:09,701 Listen, would you like to have dinner with me tonight?
- 00:06:09,911 --> 00:06:13,080 I have plans tonight. How about tomorrow?
- 00:06:13,289 --> 00:06:15,874 Sounds great. Well, where does this go?
- 00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:18,710 You look strong. I'll take that, you grab one of the boxes.
- 00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:20,921 Okay. Yeah.
- 00:06:24,675 --> 00:06:26,968 Yeah, I'll get this one.
- 00:06:29,889 --> 00:06:31,765 WOMAN 1: What's taking so long?
- 00:06:31,933 --> 00:06:34,017 [ALL GRUMBLING]
- 00:06:34,310 --> 00:06:36,019 WOMAN 2 Come on.
- 00:06:36,771 --> 00:06:38,814 So this is Brooklyn?
- 00:06:39,524 --> 00:06:43,110 All right, listen up. There's usually only one dress in each size.
- 00:06:43,361 --> 00:06:46,780 So when they open those doors, fan out.
- 00:06:47,198 --> 00:06:51,910 This is what you're looking for. Memorize it.
- 00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:57,249 When you locate the dress blow on these, all right?
- 00:06:58,292 --> 00:07:01,503 Three sharp blasts. When you hear it, come running.
- 00:07:01,671 --> 00:07:03,588 Okay, got it.
- 00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:04,881 WOMAN 1: Here he comes!
- 00:07:05,049 --> 00:07:08,301 RACHEL: Oh, they're pushing! - Don't be a baby!
- 00:07:08,511 --> 00:07:11,012 WOMAN 1: Out of the way! WOMAN 2: Let's go!
- 00:07:11,722 --> 00:07:14,349 Hey, Rachel! Come on!
- 00:07:20,231 --> 00:07:22,190 [CHATTERING]
- 00:07:22,942 --> 00:07:27,195 No. No, not it. Not it. Not it. Ugh.
- 00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:31,992 Don't crowd me.
- 00:07:34,370 --> 00:07:37,539 This is it! This is the dress! Oh, my God. It's perfect.
- 00:07:37,790 --> 00:07:39,916 I'm sorry, this one's taken! Whoa!
- 00:07:42,044 --> 00:07:43,879 - Megan! - Monica!
- 00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:45,755 - You came! - Yeah!
- 00:07:46,007 --> 00:07:48,717 - This is my dress! - No!
- 00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:52,888 - Yes, it is. You saw me wearing it. - And now you'll see me buying it.
- 00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:55,307 You freak!
- 00:07:55,683 --> 00:07:58,310 You wouldn't even know about this place without me.
- 00:07:58,519 --> 00:08:03,648 - Look, you don't want to fight me. - Maybe I do. I'm pretty feisty!
- 00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:04,858 [WHISTLES]
- 00:08:05,067 --> 00:08:06,776 - I'm coming! I'm coming! - Hey!
- 00:08:06,944 --> 00:08:08,028 [WHISTLES BLOWING]
- 00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:10,113 Okay! Hey.
- 00:08:10,281 --> 00:08:11,281 [WHISTLES BLOWING]
- 00:08:11,449 --> 00:08:12,991 Oh, what do I do?!
- 00:08:15,411 --> 00:08:19,164 [WHISTLES BLOWING]
- 00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:23,502 What are you doing? Did you find the dress?
- 00:08:23,794 --> 00:08:25,170 Did you find the dress?
- 00:08:25,379 --> 00:08:28,173 No. You gotta get me out of here. These shoppers are crazy.
- 00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:30,467 - We've gotta get Monica. - You gotta hold my hand!
- 00:08:30,635 --> 00:08:31,801 Oh, my God.
- 00:08:31,969 --> 00:08:33,011 [WHISTLE BLOWING]
- 00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:35,931 Excuse me! Excuse me!
- 00:08:37,683 --> 00:08:40,185 Go! Go! Go!
- 00:08:40,394 --> 00:08:42,145 - Hey. - Go!
- 00:08:44,315 --> 00:08:46,399 [WHISTLE BLOWING]
- 00:08:51,906 --> 00:08:54,241 So, Ross, how was your date the other night?
- 00:08:54,450 --> 00:08:59,496 Did you tell her about the magical ride that starts with the flush of every toilet?
- 00:09:01,123 --> 00:09:05,877 Laugh all you want, but she left me a message saying she'd like to go out again.
- 00:09:06,087 --> 00:09:09,422 - Oh. - In fact, I'll go call her right now.
- 00:09:09,674 --> 00:09:12,717 And I'll make sure and tell her my friend Chandler says...
- 00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:14,177 [GIGGLES]
- 00:09:17,181 --> 00:09:18,557 - Hey, Chandler. - Hey.
- 00:09:18,766 --> 00:09:22,769 Sorry I didn't stop by last night, but I had a date.
- 00:09:22,979 --> 00:09:27,232 Joe, when it's 1:00 in the morning and you don't come by? That's okay.
- 00:09:27,483 --> 00:09:32,320 Check it out. It was with this really hot girl who just moved in right across the street.
- 00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:35,323 - Really? Right across the street? - Yeah.
- 00:09:35,533 --> 00:09:37,867 - When did you meet her? - Two days ago.
- 00:09:38,077 --> 00:09:40,662 Excellent!
- 00:09:41,664 --> 00:09:44,249 - You know, Ross met somebody too. - Oh, yeah?
- 00:09:44,458 --> 00:09:45,792 - Hey. - How'd it go?
- 00:09:46,043 --> 00:09:48,169 Great. We're going out again Saturday.
- 00:09:48,379 --> 00:09:53,174 But I found out she's also seeing some other guy.
- 00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:56,928 Really?
- 00:09:58,222 --> 00:10:02,309 Joe, what would you do if you were in Ross' situation?
- 00:10:02,518 --> 00:10:06,813 Well, I sort of am. I'm dating this girl who's also seeing another guy.
- 00:10:07,064 --> 00:10:09,190 But I'm not too worried about it.
- 00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:14,654 You shouldn't be. Believe me, I wouldn't want to be the guy who's up against you.
- 00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:19,159 I mean, that doofus is going to lose.
- 00:10:21,203 --> 00:10:24,080 So this is nice.
- 00:10:26,208 --> 00:10:29,794 I wish I didn't have to go. Believe me.
- 00:10:30,004 --> 00:10:31,212 But I have to.
- 00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:34,382 By the way, what's the name of the girl you're dating?
- 00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:37,177 ROSS & JOEY: Kristen Leigh. - Bye.
- 00:10:45,561 --> 00:10:48,605 Well, obviously, only one of us can keep dating her.
- 00:10:48,814 --> 00:10:52,484 Obviously. So how do we decide?
- 00:10:52,693 --> 00:10:56,196 Well now, let's look at this objectively.
- 00:10:56,447 --> 00:10:58,740 I think I should date her.
- 00:11:00,534 --> 00:11:02,035 Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
- 00:11:02,203 --> 00:11:05,747 Or I'm the one who dates her.
- 00:11:06,123 --> 00:11:10,585 That's interesting. But check this out. I date her.
- 00:11:11,003 --> 00:11:13,505 Yeah, I like that. But just to go in another direction...
- 00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:16,132 Okay. This can go on for a while.
- 00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:19,427 - We should order some food then. - No, Joey.
- 00:11:20,971 --> 00:11:24,557 Look, why don't we just let her decide, okay?
- 00:11:24,809 --> 00:11:27,602 We'll each go out with her one more time.
- 00:11:27,853 --> 00:11:30,438 And we'll see who she likes best.
- 00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:33,817 That sounds fair.
- 00:11:34,151 --> 00:11:37,862 Maybe I'll take her to that new French restaurant down the street.
- 00:11:38,072 --> 00:11:41,533 Wait a second. We have to set a spending limit on the date.
- 00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:44,577 I don't have the money to take her to a fancy place like that.
- 00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:48,665 Well, sorry. That's what I do on dates.
- 00:11:48,874 --> 00:11:53,461 All right. Well, I guess I'll just have to do what I do on dates.
- 00:11:59,093 --> 00:12:02,595 - So let's decide on a spending limit. - Yeah.
- 00:12:03,180 --> 00:12:04,472 Uh...
- 00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:06,182 [JOEY MUMBLING]
- 00:12:06,350 --> 00:12:09,060 And a slice...
- 00:12:10,479 --> 00:12:12,439 Six dollars?
- 00:12:13,941 --> 00:12:17,193 - I was thinking more like a hundred. - Okay.
- 00:12:17,445 --> 00:12:20,196 Can I borrow 94 dollars?
- 00:12:26,162 --> 00:12:27,162 Uh.
- 00:12:27,371 --> 00:12:30,540 I know. Can you hand me a tissue?
- 00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:37,005 [WHISTLES]
- 00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:40,759 You're out of Diet Coke.
- 00:12:40,968 --> 00:12:42,594 [PHONE RINGS]
- 00:12:44,346 --> 00:12:45,388 Hello?
- 00:12:46,265 --> 00:12:49,559 What? You what?
- 00:12:49,810 --> 00:12:51,603 You listen here, missy!
- 00:12:53,981 --> 00:12:54,981 What?
- 00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:58,651 That was Megan. She booked The Swing Kings on the day of our wedding...
- 00:12:58,819 --> 00:13:01,404 ...and said she'd only give them back for the dress!
- 00:13:01,572 --> 00:13:02,947 [PHOEBE GASPS]
- 00:13:03,115 --> 00:13:06,117 Does that mean Carcass is available?
- 00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:12,248 What am I gonna do? That's the dress! That is "the" dress!
- 00:13:12,917 --> 00:13:16,294 Chandler wants the band. What do I do?
- 00:13:16,504 --> 00:13:19,172 - Figure out a way to talk him out of it. - How?
- 00:13:19,381 --> 00:13:20,381 [WHISTLE BLOWS]
- 00:13:20,591 --> 00:13:22,759 RACHEL: You're out of toilet paper!
- 00:13:28,974 --> 00:13:30,016 [KNOCKING ON DOOR]
- 00:13:31,018 --> 00:13:32,101 - Hey. - What's up?
- 00:13:32,311 --> 00:13:35,230 I wanted to wish you good luck on your date.
- 00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:37,690 - Thanks. - What time are you meeting?
- 00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:41,069 We have 8:00 reservations at Grand Merci Bistro.
- 00:13:41,278 --> 00:13:44,614 That's in 20 minutes. You'd better get dressed.
- 00:13:46,075 --> 00:13:49,619 - I am dressed. - Oh, well, good.
- 00:13:49,870 --> 00:13:51,871 For me.
- 00:13:53,916 --> 00:13:56,793 What's this? Did you give yourself a facial?
- 00:13:57,002 --> 00:13:59,587 I have an oily T-zone.
- 00:14:00,631 --> 00:14:02,715 Okay, dude.
- 00:14:05,719 --> 00:14:08,596 - Hey, you sent Kristen flowers? - That's right.
- 00:14:09,181 --> 00:14:13,643 You spent 100 dollars. That's the limit. You're screwed!
- 00:14:14,478 --> 00:14:19,482 Actually, I sent the flowers before the actual date, so technically...
- 00:14:19,650 --> 00:14:24,028 ...technically, I didn't break any rules. Thanks for stopping by though.
- 00:14:24,238 --> 00:14:27,657 That's how it's gonna be? I can break the rules too.
- 00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:30,410 - What are you gonna do? - I don't know.
- 00:14:30,661 --> 00:14:33,663 - I'm not surprised. - You won't get away with this.
- 00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:35,540 - You don't have much choice. - We'll see!
- 00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:37,041 - Bye-bye. - Yeah, bye-bye.
- 00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:41,963 Hey! So just a light layer?
- 00:14:42,172 --> 00:14:44,841 Yeah, just here and there.
- 00:14:51,265 --> 00:14:55,059 Joey got meat sauce on the banister again.
- 00:14:56,395 --> 00:14:58,271 Swing music is so out.
- 00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:01,941 Phoebe, he's gotta be in the room for that to work.
- 00:15:02,860 --> 00:15:05,320 What are you guys talking about?
- 00:15:05,529 --> 00:15:08,031 We're talking about The Swing Kings...
- 00:15:08,282 --> 00:15:10,992 ...and whether they're the right way to go.
- 00:15:11,201 --> 00:15:13,870 I went to a wedding where they had swing music...
- 00:15:14,038 --> 00:15:16,497 ...and two months later the couple divorced.
- 00:15:17,791 --> 00:15:21,169 I'm not saying there's any connection here...
- 00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:24,756 ...but they did tell me that's why they got divorced.
- 00:15:26,425 --> 00:15:28,134 But I love swing music!
- 00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:30,011 But The Swing Kings?
- 00:15:30,262 --> 00:15:35,642 They suck so much that people actually die at their concerts. They just stop living.
- 00:15:36,435 --> 00:15:39,729 When Monica and I went to see them, we had fun.
- 00:15:39,980 --> 00:15:41,689 And there's another reason.
- 00:15:41,899 --> 00:15:46,194 - Well, what is the other reason? - I don't want to say.
- 00:15:46,403 --> 00:15:49,989 Well, you have to, because maybe it's stupid.
- 00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:55,870 It's just while Monica and I were dancing to them...
- 00:15:56,121 --> 00:15:59,290 ...it was the first time I knew that...
- 00:15:59,875 --> 00:16:04,337 ...you were the woman that I wanted to dance all my dances with.
- 00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:09,092 Oh, crap.
- 00:16:16,850 --> 00:16:20,770 - Our table will be ready in just a few minutes. - Oh, great.
- 00:16:21,021 --> 00:16:24,232 - Is your back feeling better? - Yeah, it's fine.
- 00:16:24,441 --> 00:16:27,235 I guess, ahem, the more muscles you have...
- 00:16:27,486 --> 00:16:30,905 ...the more they can spasm out of control.
- 00:16:32,408 --> 00:16:34,784 - Kristen? - Joey!
- 00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,536 JOEY: Hi. KRISTEN: Hi.
- 00:16:38,038 --> 00:16:41,082 - What are you doing here? - I like this place.
- 00:16:41,291 --> 00:16:46,045 And technically, technically, I'm not breaking any rules, so...
- 00:16:46,255 --> 00:16:50,508 Well, Ross, this is Joey. Joey, Ross.
- 00:16:50,759 --> 00:16:53,386 - Hi. - Hi. It's nice to meet you.
- 00:16:53,637 --> 00:16:56,848 I used to have a friend named Joey.
- 00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:00,393 I don't anymore.
- 00:17:01,812 --> 00:17:04,814 Our table will be ready in a couple minutes.
- 00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:09,152 Sure! I would love to wait with you guys! Thanks!
- 00:17:13,073 --> 00:17:15,908 So Joey, you look familiar.
- 00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:18,870 Are you on TV or something?
- 00:17:19,079 --> 00:17:21,289 Joey doesn't like to talk about it...
- 00:17:21,540 --> 00:17:24,959 ...but he's one of the stars of Days of Our Lives.
- 00:17:25,836 --> 00:17:30,006 That's right. That's right. Don't you play a woman?
- 00:17:32,968 --> 00:17:36,054 A woman in a man's body.
- 00:17:36,305 --> 00:17:38,389 Much better.
- 00:17:39,516 --> 00:17:42,602 So, Ross, it's funny, because you look familiar to me too.
- 00:17:42,853 --> 00:17:45,354 Have you ever been married?
- 00:17:47,107 --> 00:17:48,149 Yes, I have.
- 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,651 In fact, just the other day...
- 00:17:50,861 --> 00:17:55,031 ...Kris and I talked about how I've been married and have a son.
- 00:17:55,282 --> 00:17:59,327 - Yeah, little Eric. - That's right. Wait. No, Ben.
- 00:18:01,955 --> 00:18:05,166 So you've just been married the one time then?
- 00:18:07,461 --> 00:18:11,297 - Well, um... - You've been married twice?
- 00:18:11,507 --> 00:18:15,259 Yes. And...
- 00:18:15,469 --> 00:18:18,179 ...another time after that.
- 00:18:20,224 --> 00:18:23,226 Boy, I'm getting hungry.
- 00:18:23,477 --> 00:18:26,562 Ahem. Hey, Joey, have you ever been so hungry on a date...
- 00:18:26,814 --> 00:18:31,234 ...that when the girl goes to the bathroom, you eat some of her food?
- 00:18:33,654 --> 00:18:36,948 You said the waiter ate my crab cake.
- 00:18:37,699 --> 00:18:38,783 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:18:39,034 --> 00:18:43,913 So, Ross, now why did that first marriage break up? Hm?
- 00:18:44,581 --> 00:18:49,210 Was it because the woman was straight or because she was a lesbian?
- 00:18:50,712 --> 00:18:53,923 - Do you two know each other? ROSS & JOEY: No.
- 00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:56,968 But he seems like a guy who'd marry a woman...
- 00:18:57,177 --> 00:19:01,722 ...on the verge of being a lesbian and then push her over the edge.
- 00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:09,272 Wait a minute! Were you on a poster for gonorrhea?
- 00:19:12,025 --> 00:19:15,653 Have you ever slept in the same bed with a monkey?
- 00:19:16,446 --> 00:19:18,781 Hey, you leave Marcel out of this!
- 00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:21,868 Fine! You ever gotten stuck in a pair of your own leather pants?
- 00:19:22,035 --> 00:19:27,456 Hey, hey! Have you ever locked yourself in a TV cabinet, VD-boy?
- 00:19:27,666 --> 00:19:29,917 Monkey-lover!
- 00:19:37,718 --> 00:19:40,136 Where do you think we lost her?
- 00:19:40,554 --> 00:19:43,139 Probably around "gonorrhea."
- 00:19:51,315 --> 00:19:54,108 - Hi, honey, I'm home! MONICA: Don't come in here!
- 00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:58,196 Why, do you have another boyfriend in there?
- 00:19:58,405 --> 00:20:01,407 MONICA: No. We only mess around at his place.
- 00:20:02,242 --> 00:20:07,246 It's funny, I started it, but now it's scaring me, so could you come out here, please?
- 00:20:07,497 --> 00:20:09,207 MONICA: No. I'm wearing a wedding dress.
- 00:20:09,416 --> 00:20:11,125 You got a wedding dress? That's great.
- 00:20:11,335 --> 00:20:14,962 MONICA: Yeah, but I'm not keeping it. - Then why can't I see it?
- 00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:17,048 MONICA: Oh. I guess you can.
- 00:20:17,299 --> 00:20:20,426 But I have to return it, so you can't like it.
- 00:20:20,636 --> 00:20:23,846 Okay, I promise. I'll hate it.
- 00:20:29,436 --> 00:20:32,897 Wow. You look hideous.
- 00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:35,483 Really?
- 00:20:35,692 --> 00:20:40,613 Yeah. That's like the most ugliest dress I've ever seen.
- 00:20:40,822 --> 00:20:42,865 Why do you have to return it?
- 00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:46,035 Because it doesn't really fit.
- 00:20:46,286 --> 00:20:48,329 Oh, by the way, I booked The Swing Kings.
- 00:20:48,538 --> 00:20:51,457 Oh, that's great. Great. Thanks.
- 00:20:51,667 --> 00:20:54,377 But that dress, I mean, it's like, ugh, terrible.
- 00:20:54,586 --> 00:20:58,130 - It makes me want to rip it right off you. - Okay.
- 00:20:58,340 --> 00:21:00,049 But you can't rip it.
- 00:21:00,300 --> 00:21:02,093 - Well, maybe a little. - Okay.
- 00:21:10,852 --> 00:21:14,855 Hey, guys, you want to look at the song list for the wedding?
- 00:21:15,315 --> 00:21:16,482 Guys?
- 00:21:16,692 --> 00:21:18,859 CHANDLER: I thought you'd be gone all day.
- 00:21:19,069 --> 00:21:21,779 All right, what's going on?
- 00:21:29,955 --> 00:21:34,083 I'm sorry. I should probably leave you girls alone.
- 00:21:34,793 --> 00:21:38,963 Laugh all you want, but in 10 minutes we'll have younger-looking skin.
- 00:21:39,131 --> 00:21:40,840 - Yeah. - Right there.
- 00:21:43,176 --> 00:21:44,844 You know, she could use a little...
- 00:21:45,012 --> 00:21:46,387 [JOEY WHISTLES]
- 00:21:46,555 --> 00:21:48,931 - Oh, nice shot! Yeah! - Oh! Oh! Oh!
- 00:21:52,269 --> 00:21:54,270 [English - US - SDH]
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