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Эпизод со всей правдой о Лондоне
The One with the Truth About London
Сезон: 07Серия: 16
Описание
Рэйчел учит Бена розыгрышам, к большому неудовольствию Росса. Тем временем Чендлер начинает параноить, узнав, что Моника на самом деле планировала переспать с Джои в ночь их знакомства, а Джои получает сан священника через Интернет, готовясь провести свадебную церемонию Моники и Чендлера.
Субтитры
- 00:00:03,044 --> 00:00:05,170 - Hi. - Hi! Hi, Ben.
- 00:00:05,338 --> 00:00:07,506 - Hi. - We have a bathroom emergency.
- 00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:10,217 - Oh, yeah. Go ahead. - Okay, uh, before we do...
- 00:00:10,385 --> 00:00:14,596 ...uh, are any of Joey's special romance magazines in there?
- 00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:19,643 - No. - Okay, all clear.
- 00:00:19,811 --> 00:00:21,645 BEN: Thanks, Phoebe.
- 00:00:24,357 --> 00:00:25,399 That's Rachel.
- 00:00:26,276 --> 00:00:27,443 - But whatever. - Mm-hm.
- 00:00:27,610 --> 00:00:28,861 [BOTH CHUCKLE]
- 00:00:29,821 --> 00:00:31,155 Could you do me a big favor?
- 00:00:31,322 --> 00:00:34,158 The, uh, dean's office called and said there was an urgent meeting.
- 00:00:34,325 --> 00:00:36,535 Can you watch Ben for an hour?
- 00:00:37,662 --> 00:00:40,414 - Well, what about Monica? - Uh, she isn't home.
- 00:00:41,082 --> 00:00:44,585 So it would just be me alone?
- 00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:48,672 - Well, Ben would be there. - No...
- 00:00:49,507 --> 00:00:50,758 Huh. Um...
- 00:00:50,925 --> 00:00:53,469 - What's the matter? - Well, uh, you know, it's just, uh...
- 00:00:53,636 --> 00:00:56,764 I've never done that before. Me and him, alone.
- 00:00:56,931 --> 00:00:58,474 He's not an ex-con.
- 00:00:58,683 --> 00:01:00,851 Okay, okay, okay. Um...
- 00:01:01,019 --> 00:01:03,979 - What do I do with him? - I don't know, talk to him.
- 00:01:04,189 --> 00:01:06,148 Entertain him. Keep him alive.
- 00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:07,566 [SCOFFS]
- 00:01:08,276 --> 00:01:10,444 - Okay. ROSS: Okay, Ben, come here.
- 00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:14,865 I'm gonna leave you here with Aunt Rachel for about an hour, okay?
- 00:01:15,033 --> 00:01:16,075 Gonna be okay?
- 00:01:16,242 --> 00:01:18,285 - I think so. - I wasn't talking to you.
- 00:01:57,158 --> 00:02:00,119 What about the second minister? I kind of liked him.
- 00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:04,414 - You mean the spitter? - Come on. He wasn't that bad.
- 00:02:04,582 --> 00:02:07,251 Easy for you to say, you'd be wearing a veil.
- 00:02:08,878 --> 00:02:11,922 - And the third guy? - He kept staring at your chest.
- 00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:13,882 Can you blame him?
- 00:02:15,301 --> 00:02:17,845 I don't like the idea of me saying, "I do"...
- 00:02:18,096 --> 00:02:20,180 ...while he's thinking, "I'd do it too."
- 00:02:22,350 --> 00:02:25,352 - Well, then we still have a problem. - With what?
- 00:02:25,562 --> 00:02:27,521 We need someone to perform our wedding...
- 00:02:27,730 --> 00:02:29,857 ...and they're all either boring or annoying...
- 00:02:30,024 --> 00:02:32,359 ...or keep staring at the ladies.
- 00:02:35,864 --> 00:02:37,781 Ooh, you should have one of us do it.
- 00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:41,118 We're getting "married" married, not "6th-grade" married.
- 00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:43,704 No, it's a real thing.
- 00:02:43,955 --> 00:02:47,833 Anyone can be ordained on the Internet and perform weddings and stuff.
- 00:02:48,084 --> 00:02:49,585 I call it!
- 00:02:50,628 --> 00:02:52,629 What? It was my idea!
- 00:02:52,797 --> 00:02:56,133 Thank you very much, but neither of you is marrying us.
- 00:02:56,301 --> 00:02:58,468 Does calling it not mean anything anymore?
- 00:02:59,637 --> 00:03:02,139 We're having a legitimate clergy member.
- 00:03:02,348 --> 00:03:04,975 And when I say legitimate, I mean gay...
- 00:03:05,226 --> 00:03:07,811 ...and in control of his saliva.
- 00:03:19,365 --> 00:03:22,201 Ben, you know, when, uh... When you were a baby...
- 00:03:22,410 --> 00:03:24,328 ...we'd hang out all the time.
- 00:03:24,495 --> 00:03:26,288 Because I was your daddy's girlfriend.
- 00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:28,624 But you're not anymore.
- 00:03:30,501 --> 00:03:33,503 - No, I'm not. - Because you guys were on a break...
- 00:03:33,671 --> 00:03:35,839 Hey, we were not on a... Okay.
- 00:03:39,427 --> 00:03:43,096 - When's my daddy coming back? - Fifty-two minutes.
- 00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:46,058 [RACHEL SIGHS]
- 00:03:48,019 --> 00:03:50,270 So no brothers or sisters, huh?
- 00:03:50,438 --> 00:03:53,357 You know what, I had two sisters and we just tortured each other.
- 00:03:53,983 --> 00:03:57,819 - Really? Like how? - Well, you know, we would, um...
- 00:03:57,987 --> 00:04:00,530 We'd repeat everything the other said...
- 00:04:00,698 --> 00:04:04,326 ...or, uh, we'd jump out of closets to scare each other...
- 00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:08,288 ...or, ha, switch the sugar for the salt so they put salt on their cereal.
- 00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:09,623 That's a good one.
- 00:04:11,584 --> 00:04:13,418 - Yeah, you like that one? - Yeah, you're funny.
- 00:04:13,586 --> 00:04:14,628 [RACHEL GASPS]
- 00:04:14,796 --> 00:04:16,046 I'm funny?
- 00:04:16,214 --> 00:04:18,048 Oh, thank God.
- 00:04:18,466 --> 00:04:20,008 Well, hey, I got a ton of these.
- 00:04:20,176 --> 00:04:22,427 Um, you, uh... You take a quarter...
- 00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:24,179 You take a quarter...
- 00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:27,891 ...and you blacken the edge, right?
- 00:04:28,142 --> 00:04:31,520 And then you say, "I bet you can't roll this quarter...
- 00:04:31,688 --> 00:04:34,064 ...to your chin without it leaving your face."
- 00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:39,611 And when they do it, they're left with a line down the center of their face.
- 00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:41,697 Can I do it to you?
- 00:04:43,074 --> 00:04:45,742 Yeah, I'm funny, Ben, but I'm not stupid.
- 00:04:45,910 --> 00:04:47,327 Heh, okay?
- 00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:54,501 So did you, uh, find anyone to marry you guys yet?
- 00:04:54,752 --> 00:04:57,963 No, but "Horny for Monica" minister called...
- 00:04:59,257 --> 00:05:01,216 ...wondering if we're still together.
- 00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:05,554 - We'll never find anybody. - Then let me do it.
- 00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:07,639 - Joe... - No, I've been thinking.
- 00:05:07,807 --> 00:05:11,059 I'm an actor, so I won't get nervous in front of people.
- 00:05:11,269 --> 00:05:14,813 I won't spit and I won't stare at Monica's breasts.
- 00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:18,275 Everyone knows I'm an ass man.
- 00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:21,862 - That is true. - And the most important thing...
- 00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:25,574 ...is it won't be some stranger who barely knows you.
- 00:05:25,742 --> 00:05:29,369 It'll be me. And I swear, I'll do a really good job.
- 00:05:29,579 --> 00:05:33,040 Plus, I love you guys and it would really mean a lot to me.
- 00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:36,376 Might be kind of cool.
- 00:05:36,544 --> 00:05:38,795 - So I can do it? - Yeah, you can do it.
- 00:05:38,963 --> 00:05:40,047 All right! Okay!
- 00:05:40,214 --> 00:05:41,923 [JOEY LAUGHING]
- 00:05:42,091 --> 00:05:44,468 Okay, I gotta get started on my speech.
- 00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:46,011 Wait a minute.
- 00:05:46,637 --> 00:05:49,639 - Internet ministers can still have sex? - Yeah.
- 00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:53,310 [KNOCKING ON DOOR]
- 00:05:53,853 --> 00:05:55,020 Coming.
- 00:06:03,654 --> 00:06:06,239 I have a bone to pick with you.
- 00:06:08,159 --> 00:06:09,868 - Uh-oh. - Yes.
- 00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:12,412 Ben learned a little trick.
- 00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:18,460 - Oh, did he pull the old...? - That's right, that's right.
- 00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:22,631 Saran wrap on the toilet seat...
- 00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:25,759 ...so the pee goes everywhere.
- 00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:29,971 - Oh, that. - Yeah, that.
- 00:06:30,139 --> 00:06:32,474 You know I hate practical jokes.
- 00:06:32,725 --> 00:06:36,645 They're mean, they're stupid and I don't want my son learning them.
- 00:06:36,813 --> 00:06:41,274 Oh, come on. Saran wrap on the toilet seat? Isn't that just a little funny?
- 00:06:41,442 --> 00:06:42,776 - I was barefoot. - Oh.
- 00:06:42,944 --> 00:06:44,361 [LAUGHS]
- 00:06:44,529 --> 00:06:48,573 Tell me, the toilet thing is the only thing you taught him, right?
- 00:06:52,703 --> 00:06:53,745 Yes.
- 00:06:56,749 --> 00:07:00,419 - Hey. - Say hello to Reverend Joey Tribbiani.
- 00:07:00,586 --> 00:07:02,754 - You got ordained? JOEY: Yeah.
- 00:07:02,922 --> 00:07:06,508 Just got off the Internet. Man, there's a lot of porn out there.
- 00:07:08,177 --> 00:07:10,178 Our minister.
- 00:07:10,638 --> 00:07:13,306 I started on what I'm gonna say for the ceremony. Want to hear it?
- 00:07:13,474 --> 00:07:16,476 - Yeah. - Listen, this is just the first draft, so...
- 00:07:16,644 --> 00:07:17,811 [JOEY CLEARS THROAT]
- 00:07:18,604 --> 00:07:21,773 "We are gathered here today on this joyous occasion...
- 00:07:22,024 --> 00:07:25,986 ...to celebrate the special love that Monica and Chandler share.
- 00:07:26,154 --> 00:07:27,946 Huh? Right.
- 00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:31,992 It is a love based on giving and receiving...
- 00:07:32,243 --> 00:07:34,828 ...as well as having and sharing.
- 00:07:35,037 --> 00:07:40,208 And the love that they give and have is shared and received.
- 00:07:42,086 --> 00:07:44,880 And through this having and giving...
- 00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:48,300 ...and sharing and receiving...
- 00:07:48,634 --> 00:07:54,055 ...we too can share and love and have...
- 00:07:54,682 --> 00:07:56,600 ...and receive."
- 00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:01,605 Should we call the spitter?
- 00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:05,692 [KNOCKING ON DOOR]
- 00:08:08,654 --> 00:08:12,324 - Ha! Hey, Rachel. - Hi.
- 00:08:12,575 --> 00:08:14,993 What a surprise. What are you doing here?
- 00:08:15,703 --> 00:08:17,954 I was just in the neighborhood...
- 00:08:18,122 --> 00:08:21,750 ...and I passed by your building and thought, "What's up with Carol...
- 00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:23,418 ...and sweet little Ben?"
- 00:08:23,586 --> 00:08:24,628 [BOTH CHUCKLE]
- 00:08:24,795 --> 00:08:27,047 - That's nice. Well, uh, come on in. - Okay.
- 00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:30,258 Um, I'll make some coffee and, uh, we can chat.
- 00:08:30,426 --> 00:08:32,344 I'd love that. I would love that.
- 00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:33,887 [BOTH CHUCKLE]
- 00:08:34,639 --> 00:08:36,973 So, uh... So where is sweet little Ben?
- 00:08:37,141 --> 00:08:38,433 I would love to have a little...
- 00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:40,185 [BOTH YELL]
- 00:08:41,562 --> 00:08:42,687 [RACHEL SIGHS]
- 00:08:42,855 --> 00:08:43,980 I found him!
- 00:08:44,148 --> 00:08:45,357 [RACHEL CHUCKLES]
- 00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:47,400 Very funny. Come here.
- 00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:51,446 That is exactly why I've come here to talk to you, okay?
- 00:08:51,697 --> 00:08:54,157 CAROL: Rach, you want some sugar? - Yes, but...
- 00:08:54,325 --> 00:08:55,700 Do I want sugar in my coffee?
- 00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:02,666 No, just some milk would be good, Carol. Thanks.
- 00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:05,835 Okay. Remember all that stuff I taught you yesterday?
- 00:09:06,003 --> 00:09:09,047 "Remember all that stuff I taught you yesterday?"
- 00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:11,550 - Don't do that. - "Don't do that."
- 00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:15,720 - Your dad doesn't like pranks. - "Your dad doesn't like pranks."
- 00:09:15,888 --> 00:09:18,014 - Oh, damn it. - "Oh, damn it!"
- 00:09:18,182 --> 00:09:20,517 No! Don't say that.
- 00:09:20,685 --> 00:09:22,394 - Damn it! - Go back to repeating.
- 00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:24,187 - Damn it! - Oh, crap.
- 00:09:24,355 --> 00:09:26,606 - "Oh, crap!" - Oh.
- 00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:33,947 Okay, I got some more written, ready?
- 00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:36,157 [JOEY CLEARS THROAT]
- 00:09:36,325 --> 00:09:38,368 Yeah, okay.
- 00:09:39,161 --> 00:09:43,164 "When I think of the love that these two givers and receivers share...
- 00:09:44,041 --> 00:09:48,336 ...I can't help but envy the lifetime ahead of having and loving...
- 00:09:48,504 --> 00:09:52,841 ...and giving..." And then I can't think of a good word for right here.
- 00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:55,802 - How about "receiving"? - Yes!
- 00:09:57,972 --> 00:10:01,766 See, Joe, not that that's not great...
- 00:10:01,934 --> 00:10:06,396 ...but one cool thing about having a friend perform the ceremony...
- 00:10:06,564 --> 00:10:08,315 ...is that it can be about us.
- 00:10:08,482 --> 00:10:12,027 It can be more personal. You can tell stories about us.
- 00:10:12,194 --> 00:10:13,361 Ooh, ooh.
- 00:10:13,529 --> 00:10:17,699 Uh, okay. Maybe I'll talk about London. You know, when you two hooked up.
- 00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:20,660 Only I won't say "hooked up"...
- 00:10:20,828 --> 00:10:23,997 ...I'll say, "began their beautiful journey...
- 00:10:24,165 --> 00:10:26,666 - There you go. ...by doing it."
- 00:10:29,170 --> 00:10:31,755 - Joe. - Okay, all right, um...
- 00:10:31,922 --> 00:10:35,634 So, uh... So how did it happen? Did your eyes meet across the room...
- 00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:39,512 ...then you're in the bathtub and she's feeding you strawberries?
- 00:10:41,057 --> 00:10:44,309 - Isn't that what happened to you? - Yeah!
- 00:10:46,687 --> 00:10:49,064 I call that "London style."
- 00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:52,025 That didn't happen with us.
- 00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:56,029 Ooh, but maybe you should say it is, because "London style" sounds nice.
- 00:10:56,197 --> 00:10:57,238 Yeah.
- 00:10:57,406 --> 00:10:59,366 Okay, uh...
- 00:10:59,533 --> 00:11:04,162 I was sad that night because this guy thought I was Ross' mom.
- 00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:05,372 Ah.
- 00:11:05,539 --> 00:11:08,958 And Chandler was really sweet and he consoled me...
- 00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:11,878 ...and we drank too much. - Yeah, baby.
- 00:11:14,131 --> 00:11:18,927 I was a gentleman and I walked her to her hotel room and said good night.
- 00:11:19,428 --> 00:11:20,637 Oh.
- 00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:24,474 - But then, later that night... - Yeah, baby.
- 00:11:29,313 --> 00:11:30,980 [KNOCKING ON DOOR]
- 00:11:33,359 --> 00:11:34,401 Hey.
- 00:11:34,568 --> 00:11:38,196 Cute P.J.s. Really living it up here in London, huh?
- 00:11:39,657 --> 00:11:43,618 Well, I wasn't exactly expecting company after...
- 00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:46,121 ...9:15.
- 00:11:47,081 --> 00:11:48,331 Is Joey here?
- 00:11:48,582 --> 00:11:53,002 Last I saw he was with a bridesmaid and a bucket of strawberries.
- 00:11:53,504 --> 00:11:57,590 So, uh, you're not still upset about what that guy told you, are you?
- 00:11:58,592 --> 00:11:59,926 Wouldn't you be?
- 00:12:00,344 --> 00:12:04,264 It's been a really emotional time and you've had a lot to drink...
- 00:12:04,473 --> 00:12:06,182 You have to let that go, okay?
- 00:12:06,434 --> 00:12:09,477 You were the most beautiful woman in the room tonight.
- 00:12:10,521 --> 00:12:11,563 Really?
- 00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:15,233 You kidding? You're the most beautiful woman in most rooms...
- 00:12:22,783 --> 00:12:25,744 Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's going on? We just made out.
- 00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:28,288 - We're making out? - Not anymore.
- 00:12:29,081 --> 00:12:32,876 - But we don't do that. - I know, I thought it would be fun.
- 00:12:34,128 --> 00:12:35,170 How drunk are you?
- 00:12:35,337 --> 00:12:40,467 Enough to know I want to do this. Not so much that you should feel guilty.
- 00:12:42,094 --> 00:12:43,386 That's the perfect amount.
- 00:12:47,308 --> 00:12:49,100 [BOTH MOANING]
- 00:12:50,686 --> 00:12:52,437 - You know what's weird? - What?
- 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:55,064 - This doesn't feel weird. - I know.
- 00:12:55,232 --> 00:12:58,777 - You're a really good kisser. - Well, I have kissed over four women.
- 00:12:58,944 --> 00:13:00,195 [BOTH CHUCKLE]
- 00:13:01,906 --> 00:13:03,406 - Want to get under the covers? - Mm-hm.
- 00:13:03,574 --> 00:13:04,783 Okay.
- 00:13:14,126 --> 00:13:15,752 Wow, you are really fast!
- 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:19,047 It bodes well for me that speed impresses you.
- 00:13:20,674 --> 00:13:23,092 - We're gonna see each other naked. - Yep.
- 00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:26,471 - At the same time? - Count of three?
- 00:13:26,722 --> 00:13:29,557 One, two, three.
- 00:13:34,313 --> 00:13:38,233 Well, I think it's safe to say our friendship is effectively ruined.
- 00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:40,777 - Eh, we weren't that close anyway. - Eh.
- 00:13:43,405 --> 00:13:45,865 Joey, Joey, Joey. It's Joey.
- 00:13:48,619 --> 00:13:49,661 Hey.
- 00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:52,372 Hey, Joe. I was just watching a movie...
- 00:13:56,544 --> 00:13:58,795 Oh, dude, I'm so sorry.
- 00:13:59,755 --> 00:14:01,548 No!
- 00:14:01,715 --> 00:14:04,175 It's cool, I'm still with my bridesmaid.
- 00:14:04,385 --> 00:14:05,969 Where are the condoms?
- 00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:08,012 In my bag over there.
- 00:14:08,222 --> 00:14:09,389 Ah.
- 00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:15,061 Uh...
- 00:14:15,229 --> 00:14:16,563 ...could you leave me one?
- 00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:20,900 For just you?
- 00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:23,862 Yeah.
- 00:14:26,282 --> 00:14:29,534 All right. There you go, buddy.
- 00:14:29,910 --> 00:14:31,661 Go nuts.
- 00:14:34,498 --> 00:14:36,124 That's what that was?
- 00:14:36,292 --> 00:14:38,710 Can you imagine if I hadn't left you that last one?
- 00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:41,254 You two might've never gotten together.
- 00:14:41,463 --> 00:14:44,924 Oh, ooh. Can you imagine if I had sent that hooker up, like I was gonna?
- 00:14:46,927 --> 00:14:49,679 - It's like it was in the stars. CHANDLER: Hmm.
- 00:14:49,847 --> 00:14:51,347 Yeah, totally meant to be.
- 00:14:51,599 --> 00:14:55,268 Tell him who you originally wanted to hook up with that night.
- 00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:57,854 - What? - What?
- 00:14:58,355 --> 00:14:59,647 What?
- 00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:04,402 Who did you originally want to hook up with?
- 00:15:05,696 --> 00:15:08,156 Okay, fine, but please don't be upset.
- 00:15:08,365 --> 00:15:12,619 I was really depressed, okay? And really drunk.
- 00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:17,332 I wanted something stupid and meaningless. I just wanted sex.
- 00:15:17,833 --> 00:15:20,668 So when I went to your room that night...
- 00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:24,255 ...I was actually looking for Joey.
- 00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:32,263 Yeah, baby.
- 00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:36,225 No, baby.
- 00:15:37,561 --> 00:15:38,853 Oh, my God.
- 00:15:39,104 --> 00:15:40,897 You came looking for Joey?
- 00:15:41,148 --> 00:15:45,443 - Were you planning on telling me this? - No, I didn't think it was important.
- 00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:48,404 It's not important? It's not important?
- 00:15:48,656 --> 00:15:51,783 If it wasn't for a bridesmaid, you'd be marrying him.
- 00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:56,579 No! Do you know how unbelievably glad I am that Joey wasn't there?
- 00:15:56,747 --> 00:15:58,331 Hey!
- 00:15:59,625 --> 00:16:02,543 I'm a man of the cloth but I still have feelings.
- 00:16:04,588 --> 00:16:07,757 There's no way you're doing this wedding now, okay?
- 00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:11,594 What? That's not fair. It's not my fault.
- 00:16:11,845 --> 00:16:13,388 I was with my bridesmaid.
- 00:16:13,597 --> 00:16:15,682 And who's to say I would've said yes?
- 00:16:15,891 --> 00:16:18,059 I mean, I would've said yes.
- 00:16:19,436 --> 00:16:22,355 Look, you are making way too big a deal out of this.
- 00:16:22,564 --> 00:16:24,232 Everything worked out okay.
- 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:25,817 It's just weird, okay?
- 00:16:26,068 --> 00:16:30,029 I don't want to be saying my vows with the mental image of you and Monica.
- 00:16:30,197 --> 00:16:33,449 I need... I don't know what I need. I need a walk.
- 00:16:33,617 --> 00:16:37,161 - Wait, Chandler, it's not a big deal. - It is to me.
- 00:16:37,371 --> 00:16:40,665 You wanted to sleep with Batman and settled for Robin.
- 00:16:45,170 --> 00:16:48,715 - This is crazy. - No, Robin is so gay.
- 00:16:52,261 --> 00:16:55,471 - So now what have we agreed? - No more pranks.
- 00:16:55,639 --> 00:16:59,267 - What else? - You and Daddy were not on a break.
- 00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:00,560 Very good.
- 00:17:04,189 --> 00:17:07,066 Rachel, what are you doing here?
- 00:17:07,609 --> 00:17:10,486 I'm just visiting my good friend Carol.
- 00:17:10,654 --> 00:17:13,406 - Your good friend? - Yeah.
- 00:17:13,574 --> 00:17:15,241 What's her last name?
- 00:17:17,828 --> 00:17:19,120 Carol...
- 00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:21,456 ...Lesbian. - Nice.
- 00:17:24,668 --> 00:17:27,670 By the way, that, uh... That line down my face...
- 00:17:28,213 --> 00:17:34,135 The line that prompted a student in my last class of the day to say:
- 00:17:34,303 --> 00:17:36,262 "Dude, don't you ever wash your face?"
- 00:17:38,432 --> 00:17:40,516 I'm sorry I didn't tell you.
- 00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:43,895 I don't want you teaching my son that stuff anymore.
- 00:17:44,104 --> 00:17:45,938 - Okay? - Fine. Fine.
- 00:17:46,106 --> 00:17:49,859 Once I taught him that stuff, he called me "fun Aunt Rachel."
- 00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:52,111 And I loved being fun Aunt Rachel.
- 00:17:52,821 --> 00:17:54,238 [RACHEL SIGHS]
- 00:17:54,406 --> 00:17:56,741 I'm glad you guys were bonding but...
- 00:17:56,950 --> 00:17:59,077 Look, he doesn't have any siblings.
- 00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:01,621 Somebody has to teach him this stuff.
- 00:18:01,872 --> 00:18:05,625 I haven't taught him anything a normal 6-year-old doesn't know.
- 00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:07,919 BEN: Crap! - I gotta go.
- 00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:15,968 JOEY: Hey. - Hey.
- 00:18:16,220 --> 00:18:20,807 You want this scone? It came for me but it would rather sleep with you.
- 00:18:22,226 --> 00:18:23,851 Nothing even happened.
- 00:18:25,312 --> 00:18:27,688 I just... I don't want you to be upset.
- 00:18:27,856 --> 00:18:29,649 How can I not be upset?
- 00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:32,985 I finally fall in love with this fantastic woman...
- 00:18:33,237 --> 00:18:35,488 ...and it turns out she wanted you first.
- 00:18:35,656 --> 00:18:38,574 Yeah, for like a half an hour one night.
- 00:18:39,076 --> 00:18:41,661 Chandler, she wants you for the rest of her life.
- 00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:47,208 We look at you and we see you together, and it just...
- 00:18:47,584 --> 00:18:50,753 It fits, you know?
- 00:18:51,171 --> 00:18:54,590 And you just know it's gonna last forever.
- 00:18:57,594 --> 00:18:59,512 That's what you should say.
- 00:19:01,056 --> 00:19:02,306 What?
- 00:19:04,685 --> 00:19:07,186 When you're marrying us, that's what you should say.
- 00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:10,982 Really? I could do it?
- 00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:13,484 I'd love you to do it.
- 00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:16,028 Hey.
- 00:19:18,740 --> 00:19:22,952 But those are the words. Those exact words.
- 00:19:23,912 --> 00:19:26,414 Well, I don't remember exactly...
- 00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:33,171 ...but it's pretty much about having and giving and sharing and receiving.
- 00:19:38,218 --> 00:19:39,510 - Hey. MONICA: Hey.
- 00:19:39,678 --> 00:19:42,763 - So you guys doing okay? CHANDLER: Yeah.
- 00:19:42,931 --> 00:19:47,018 We talked and Monica made me see that I overreacted a little bit.
- 00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:51,480 - Some things are more important. - Yeah, baby.
- 00:19:53,650 --> 00:19:57,486 I'm really glad you guys are okay, but I just keep thinking...
- 00:19:57,738 --> 00:20:00,907 ...what would've happened if you two had hooked up.
- 00:20:03,994 --> 00:20:05,828 Honey, dinner's ready!
- 00:20:11,793 --> 00:20:14,253 What's my little chef got for me tonight?
- 00:20:14,421 --> 00:20:16,797 - Your favorite. - Ho, ho, ho.
- 00:20:16,965 --> 00:20:18,674 Fried stuff with cheese.
- 00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:20,259 Yep.
- 00:20:20,427 --> 00:20:21,969 And lots of it!
- 00:20:22,179 --> 00:20:23,304 [JOEY CHUCKLES]
- 00:20:23,472 --> 00:20:24,847 Thanks, sweetheart.
- 00:20:25,265 --> 00:20:27,975 Give me a little sugar. Okay.
- 00:20:28,143 --> 00:20:29,185 [JOEY SIGHS]
- 00:20:29,353 --> 00:20:30,478 MONICA: You wanna go...?
- 00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:32,980 Here we go, here we go, here we go.
- 00:20:34,316 --> 00:20:35,733 [JOEY SIGHS]
- 00:20:37,110 --> 00:20:39,111 How you doing?
- 00:20:45,744 --> 00:20:47,203 - Hey. - Hey!
- 00:20:47,454 --> 00:20:52,083 I'm sorry to do this again, but could you look after Ben for a bit?
- 00:20:52,292 --> 00:20:53,960 I've got this meeting at school...
- 00:20:54,211 --> 00:20:57,088 ...and he asked for his "fun Aunt Rachel."
- 00:20:57,714 --> 00:21:00,091 Well, of course I will watch him.
- 00:21:00,342 --> 00:21:02,301 We have fun, don't we, Ben?
- 00:21:03,595 --> 00:21:06,681 - Okay. See you later, pal. RACHEL: Okay.
- 00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:08,140 [LAUGHS]
- 00:21:08,350 --> 00:21:10,977 Wait a minute. Ben, I can't do it.
- 00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:13,854 - You got something on your back. - What?
- 00:21:15,357 --> 00:21:17,191 That's great. That is great.
- 00:21:17,401 --> 00:21:19,819 What did we just finish talking about, Ben?
- 00:21:20,070 --> 00:21:22,947 "What did we just finish talking about, Ben?"
- 00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:25,241 That's it! Come here!
- 00:21:25,492 --> 00:21:28,035 - You're in big trouble, young man! - No, wait.
- 00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:30,413 Ben, come here! I am not kidding!
- 00:21:30,664 --> 00:21:31,914 You guys, hold it. Seriously...
- 00:21:32,082 --> 00:21:33,207 [ROSS SCREAMS]
- 00:21:33,375 --> 00:21:34,583 Oh, my God!
- 00:21:51,101 --> 00:21:53,102 [English - US - SDH]
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