Эпизод, в котором Розита умирает
Описание
Рейчел случайно ломает кресло-реклайнер Розиты, принадлежащее Джои, пытаясь его передвинуть. Когда Рейчел идёт с Джои покупать новое кресло, Чендлер заходит в квартиру Джои и садится на уже сломанную Розиту, думая, что сломал любимое кресло своего лучшего друга. Испытывая чувство вины, он тайно подменяет Розиту своим собственным креслом. В результате Джои считает, что Розита «исцелилась», и Рейчел забирает себе новое роскошное кресло La-Z-Boy. Джои, завидуя Рейчел, которая получила кресло получше, снова ломает «Розиту», чтобы заполучить новое кресло себе. Росс и Моника навещают свой дом детства, чтобы забрать старые вещи перед продажей. Однако Моника узнаёт, что все коробки с её детскими вещами были использованы для защиты Porsche Джека во время наводнения в гараже; все её вещи были испорчены, в то время как вещи Росса остались целыми и невредимыми. Чтобы успокоить Монику, Джек дарит ей «Порше», к большому неудовольствию Росса. Фиби устраивается на работу телемаркетологом, продавая тонер для принтеров, и пытается спасти клиента по имени Эрл (Джейсон Александер) от самоубийства.
Субтитры
- 00:00:04,754 --> 00:00:07,006 - Hey. What are you doing? - Hi.
- 00:00:07,173 --> 00:00:10,426 Well, you know, I was thinking of moving the couch over here.
- 00:00:10,635 --> 00:00:12,011 Why would you want to do that?
- 00:00:12,220 --> 00:00:14,638 So that there would be a decent place for me to sit?
- 00:00:16,057 --> 00:00:20,185 - Rach, there is a decent place. - And your lap does not count.
- 00:00:22,063 --> 00:00:24,815 - Okay? Come on, help me move this. - No, no, no.
- 00:00:25,150 --> 00:00:26,275 - No? - No.
- 00:00:26,443 --> 00:00:28,193 Rosita does not move.
- 00:00:31,072 --> 00:00:33,741 I'm sorry. Rosita? As in...?
- 00:00:33,908 --> 00:00:36,243 As in "Rosita does not move."
- 00:00:36,411 --> 00:00:38,620 Joey, it's just a chair. What's the big deal?
- 00:00:38,788 --> 00:00:42,541 The big deal is that it's the exact equal distance from the bathroom to the kitchen...
- 00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:47,629 ...and it's at the perfect angle so you don't get any glare coming off of Stevie.
- 00:00:48,298 --> 00:00:50,090 Stevie the TV?
- 00:00:52,469 --> 00:00:54,636 - Is there a problem? - No.
- 00:00:57,682 --> 00:00:59,099 Oh, what does he know?
- 00:00:59,267 --> 00:01:02,352 Come on, Rosita. Us chicas gotta stick together.
- 00:01:04,439 --> 00:01:05,689 [GRUNTS]
- 00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:07,775 Ow!
- 00:01:11,112 --> 00:01:13,238 You bitch.
- 00:01:53,029 --> 00:01:54,029 Hey, Ross?
- 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:56,198 So I was checking out the real-estate section.
- 00:01:56,366 --> 00:01:58,659 - Yeah. - Look at this.
- 00:01:58,827 --> 00:02:00,661 Oh, looks like Mom and Dad's house.
- 00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:04,081 Oh, it even has a tree with a broken limb out front.
- 00:02:04,249 --> 00:02:07,709 And the, uh, window in the attic...
- 00:02:08,586 --> 00:02:10,796 Oh, my God.
- 00:02:11,256 --> 00:02:14,258 What? What happened to the window in the attic?
- 00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:16,969 I can't believe Mom and Dad are selling the house.
- 00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:18,929 I can't believe they didn't even tell us.
- 00:02:19,097 --> 00:02:22,391 I can't believe I still don't know what happened to the window in the attic.
- 00:02:23,893 --> 00:02:25,894 Okay, come on. I'll buy you a new one, all right?
- 00:02:26,062 --> 00:02:29,356 We'll go down to the store right now and we'll get you a new chair.
- 00:02:32,652 --> 00:02:35,112 She's not even cold yet.
- 00:02:36,948 --> 00:02:39,992 But don't you think Rosita would've wanted you to move on?
- 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:44,788 I mean, you know, she did always put your comfort first.
- 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,375 That's true.
- 00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:51,003 Wow.
- 00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:56,592 I can't believe we have to say goodbye to the house we grew up in.
- 00:02:56,759 --> 00:02:59,636 Man, some stranger's gonna be living in my room.
- 00:02:59,804 --> 00:03:03,265 Well, after 15 years of Mom and Dad keeping it as a shrine to you...
- 00:03:03,433 --> 00:03:05,809 ...it's time the velvet ropes came down.
- 00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:08,228 They kept your room a while.
- 00:03:08,521 --> 00:03:13,192 Oh, please. Dad turned my room into a gym 20 minutes after I moved out.
- 00:03:13,359 --> 00:03:17,529 And I gotta say, a tanning bed and a stack of Victoria's Secret catalogs?
- 00:03:17,697 --> 00:03:18,989 Not a gym.
- 00:03:19,866 --> 00:03:23,202 - Come on. You know they love you. - As much as they love you?
- 00:03:23,369 --> 00:03:27,539 I was their firstborn. They thought she was barren. It's not my fault.
- 00:03:30,793 --> 00:03:32,586 Ugh. I hate this year.
- 00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:34,504 What's wrong with this year?
- 00:03:34,672 --> 00:03:37,424 It's already February and I've only given two massages...
- 00:03:37,592 --> 00:03:40,510 ...and they were both the worst tippers in the world.
- 00:03:40,845 --> 00:03:42,137 That was me and Ross.
- 00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:46,433 Oh, that's right.
- 00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:48,769 If you want to pick up some extra cash...
- 00:03:48,937 --> 00:03:52,481 ...some friends of mine made good money in college doing telemarketing.
- 00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:55,150 Yeah, it'd probably be better than the last telephone job I had.
- 00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:58,195 You know, I probably won't have to say "spank" as much.
- 00:04:02,283 --> 00:04:03,575 What?
- 00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:06,870 Oh, yeah, like you never called.
- 00:04:13,544 --> 00:04:16,588 So, basically, this is very easy. You read from the script...
- 00:04:16,756 --> 00:04:19,341 ...and try to sell as much toner as you possibly can.
- 00:04:19,509 --> 00:04:21,218 Okay, I can do that.
- 00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:24,846 - Oh, by the way, I love my office. - Ha, ha.
- 00:04:25,014 --> 00:04:28,141 - Why don't we do a trial run? - Oh, okay.
- 00:04:28,768 --> 00:04:31,687 Um, all right.
- 00:04:32,146 --> 00:04:35,023 Hi, this is Phoebe from Empire Office Supplies.
- 00:04:35,191 --> 00:04:37,317 Can I speak to your supply manager, please?
- 00:04:37,485 --> 00:04:39,069 I'm the supply manager.
- 00:04:39,237 --> 00:04:41,488 Um, okay. I'd like to talk to you about your toner needs.
- 00:04:41,656 --> 00:04:44,866 - We don't need any toner. - Well, I'm sorry to bother you. Bye-bye.
- 00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:47,661 Yeah, you're right. This is easy.
- 00:04:47,829 --> 00:04:50,580 Okay. What was wrong with that call?
- 00:04:50,748 --> 00:04:52,291 Oh, well, all right.
- 00:04:52,458 --> 00:04:55,919 Um, no offense, but you were kind of rude.
- 00:04:57,463 --> 00:05:00,424 They're always gonna tell you they don't need toner, but that's okay.
- 00:05:00,591 --> 00:05:01,967 Because whatever they say...
- 00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:04,386 ...you can find the answer to it, here in the script.
- 00:05:04,554 --> 00:05:07,723 - Oh. - So I think you're ready to sell toner.
- 00:05:07,890 --> 00:05:10,142 - Do you have any last questions? - No.
- 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,894 Oh, wait, yes, I do. I do have one question:
- 00:05:13,062 --> 00:05:14,313 What is toner?
- 00:05:17,608 --> 00:05:19,109 Joey?
- 00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:22,404 Joe?
- 00:05:26,701 --> 00:05:28,744 Full bag?
- 00:05:30,121 --> 00:05:32,706 Beer's still cold.
- 00:05:34,208 --> 00:05:37,169 Something terrible must have happened here.
- 00:05:45,678 --> 00:05:47,429 Oh, no, no, no.
- 00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:53,060 Stevie, I was never here.
- 00:05:57,106 --> 00:05:59,691 ROSS: Dad? JACK: I'm here.
- 00:06:00,318 --> 00:06:01,818 - Hey. - Hi.
- 00:06:01,986 --> 00:06:06,323 God, it seems like just yesterday you guys used to come out to watch me work.
- 00:06:06,491 --> 00:06:08,867 Dad, we can't believe you're selling the house.
- 00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:11,244 It's time for a new family to start their memories here.
- 00:06:11,412 --> 00:06:14,456 And hopefully their check will clear before they find the crack...
- 00:06:14,624 --> 00:06:17,459 ...in the foundation and the asbestos in the ceiling.
- 00:06:19,462 --> 00:06:22,339 Let's just grab our stuff and get the hell out of here.
- 00:06:22,757 --> 00:06:25,342 I'm sorry we can't store your childhood things anymore.
- 00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:28,720 Oh, it's okay. I can't wait to see everything again. All the memories.
- 00:06:28,888 --> 00:06:30,806 I don't know what's in the boxes down here.
- 00:06:30,973 --> 00:06:34,726 But I do know that there are six or seven Easy-Bake Ovens in the attic.
- 00:06:35,812 --> 00:06:37,771 I used to love to play restaurant.
- 00:06:37,939 --> 00:06:41,066 Yeah, not as much as you loved to play "uncooked batter eater."
- 00:06:41,317 --> 00:06:46,655 Hey. It is unreasonable to expect a child to wait for a light bulb to cook brownies.
- 00:06:48,449 --> 00:06:51,118 So I think your boxes are over here.
- 00:06:51,285 --> 00:06:52,536 ROSS: Oh, great.
- 00:06:52,703 --> 00:06:54,454 Hey...
- 00:06:54,622 --> 00:06:56,665 ...Dad, whose cigarettes are these?
- 00:06:58,835 --> 00:07:00,335 I don't know.
- 00:07:01,170 --> 00:07:03,713 They must be your mother's.
- 00:07:03,881 --> 00:07:08,427 But please, please don't ask her. I'll throw these away.
- 00:07:12,473 --> 00:07:15,559 Cool. Dad, my report cards.
- 00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:17,394 Hey, check this out. Dad.
- 00:07:17,562 --> 00:07:22,899 Math, A. Science, A. History, A. Gym...
- 00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:31,575 Ooh, my rock polisher.
- 00:07:35,413 --> 00:07:37,038 - Uh-oh. - What?
- 00:07:37,248 --> 00:07:39,749 You know how the garage floods every spring?
- 00:07:40,042 --> 00:07:43,086 How are you ever gonna sell this place?
- 00:07:43,546 --> 00:07:46,173 I think I accidentally used Monica's boxes...
- 00:07:46,340 --> 00:07:48,800 ...to keep the water away from the Porsche.
- 00:07:51,637 --> 00:07:54,806 Oh, no, Dad. Dad?
- 00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:56,183 What the...?
- 00:07:56,350 --> 00:07:58,185 Oh, God.
- 00:07:58,769 --> 00:08:00,562 Everything's ruined.
- 00:08:00,897 --> 00:08:03,023 Dad, she's gonna be crushed.
- 00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:06,985 You don't secretly smoke, do you?
- 00:08:08,946 --> 00:08:10,405 No.
- 00:08:10,573 --> 00:08:12,616 So it's just your mother, then.
- 00:08:16,245 --> 00:08:19,498 Hi. This is Phoebe from Empire Office Supplies.
- 00:08:19,665 --> 00:08:22,709 Can I speak to your supply manager, please?
- 00:08:23,878 --> 00:08:25,712 Earl. Thanks.
- 00:08:26,547 --> 00:08:30,550 Hi, Earl. This is Phoebe from Empire Office Supplies.
- 00:08:30,718 --> 00:08:33,428 I'd like to talk to you about your toner needs.
- 00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:36,097 I don't need any toner.
- 00:08:37,099 --> 00:08:41,811 I'm hearing what you're saying, but at our prices, everyone needs toner.
- 00:08:42,271 --> 00:08:43,897 Not me.
- 00:08:45,107 --> 00:08:46,775 May I ask why?
- 00:08:47,109 --> 00:08:51,571 You want to know why?
- 00:08:51,739 --> 00:08:53,573 I surely do.
- 00:08:54,408 --> 00:08:55,408 Okay.
- 00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:58,954 I don't need any toner...
- 00:08:59,121 --> 00:09:00,997 ...because I'm gonna kill myself.
- 00:09:11,759 --> 00:09:13,343 Um...
- 00:09:13,886 --> 00:09:16,721 Is that because you're out of toner?
- 00:09:20,935 --> 00:09:26,314 Okay, so no toner today. Thanks anyway. Bye-bye.
- 00:09:26,482 --> 00:09:29,568 No, no, wait, wait. I can't just let you hang up.
- 00:09:29,735 --> 00:09:30,902 Just please talk to me.
- 00:09:31,362 --> 00:09:32,904 Well...
- 00:09:33,864 --> 00:09:35,782 I only had one thing to do today.
- 00:09:38,995 --> 00:09:41,621 I guess I could push it back.
- 00:09:42,206 --> 00:09:45,208 Yeah. Now, why do you want to kill yourself?
- 00:09:46,544 --> 00:09:49,838 I've been working for 10 years now at this...
- 00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:52,132 ...meaningless, dead-end job...
- 00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:55,218 ...and nobody here even knows that I exist.
- 00:09:56,554 --> 00:09:58,138 Chandler?
- 00:10:02,476 --> 00:10:04,603 I'm sorry?
- 00:10:05,146 --> 00:10:07,689 Oh. Look...
- 00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:10,525 ...I'm sure that people know you exist.
- 00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:14,154 Oh, yeah? I work in a cubicle surrounded by people.
- 00:10:14,905 --> 00:10:19,117 I've been talking to you for five minutes now about killing myself...
- 00:10:19,327 --> 00:10:22,579 ...and no one's even looked up from their desk. Hang on.
- 00:10:22,788 --> 00:10:24,581 Hey, everybody, uh...
- 00:10:24,749 --> 00:10:26,875 ...I'm gonna kill myself.
- 00:10:31,005 --> 00:10:32,297 I got nothing.
- 00:10:35,551 --> 00:10:37,552 Good chair.
- 00:10:37,803 --> 00:10:39,512 Now, if anybody asks...
- 00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:42,557 ...your name is Rosita.
- 00:10:48,189 --> 00:10:51,483 [JOEY AND RACHEL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
- 00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:08,667 Poor thing. Cut down in her prime.
- 00:11:10,294 --> 00:11:12,921 Joey, the new chair will be here in an hour.
- 00:11:13,089 --> 00:11:15,882 Maybe we should actually move Rosita out of here, you know?
- 00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:18,218 Start the healing process.
- 00:11:19,261 --> 00:11:20,929 - Yeah, I guess you're right. - Okay.
- 00:11:42,326 --> 00:11:44,536 She's healed.
- 00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:51,042 - That's weird. - No, it's not weird.
- 00:11:51,210 --> 00:11:53,044 It's a miracle.
- 00:11:54,171 --> 00:11:57,257 It's not a miracle, Joey. I'm sure there's an explanation.
- 00:11:57,425 --> 00:12:00,009 There is. If you want something enough and your heart is pure...
- 00:12:00,177 --> 00:12:01,511 ...wondrous things can happen.
- 00:12:04,056 --> 00:12:07,100 Well, she'll understand, right? It's not like I did it on purpose.
- 00:12:07,268 --> 00:12:08,852 Dad, that won't matter to her.
- 00:12:09,019 --> 00:12:13,148 Look, all my stuff is safe and dry. And all her stuff is...
- 00:12:13,315 --> 00:12:16,359 ...growing new stuff.
- 00:12:16,527 --> 00:12:18,319 See, this is exactly the kind of thing...
- 00:12:18,487 --> 00:12:21,448 ...that makes her think you guys love me more than you love her.
- 00:12:21,615 --> 00:12:23,616 Oh, my God. Does she really think that?
- 00:12:23,784 --> 00:12:25,243 Well, can you blame her?
- 00:12:25,411 --> 00:12:28,747 I don't know. I suppose we may have favored you unconsciously.
- 00:12:28,914 --> 00:12:30,248 You were a medical marvel.
- 00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:33,293 - The doctors said your mom couldn't... - I don't want to hear about it.
- 00:12:33,461 --> 00:12:36,171 - Really? - Well, not right now.
- 00:12:36,964 --> 00:12:39,174 Okay, look. Monica came here for some memories.
- 00:12:39,341 --> 00:12:41,134 Damn it, we're gonna give her some.
- 00:12:41,302 --> 00:12:42,927 Okay, grab...
- 00:12:43,095 --> 00:12:46,014 Grab some empty boxes, okay? We'll take stuff from mine...
- 00:12:46,182 --> 00:12:49,934 ...and whatever we can pass off as hers, we'll put them in there.
- 00:12:50,102 --> 00:12:53,855 - Right. - Like, this. She could have made this.
- 00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:56,316 - This could have been hers. - Sure.
- 00:12:58,903 --> 00:13:02,322 You know, if you want to tell the medical marvel story while we work...
- 00:13:02,490 --> 00:13:04,032 ...that'd be fine.
- 00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:11,331 I am so psyched I kept this chair for myself.
- 00:13:15,169 --> 00:13:17,253 Yeah. Me too.
- 00:13:19,715 --> 00:13:23,218 Wow, you know, that this thing has speakers in the headrest?
- 00:13:23,385 --> 00:13:24,761 [ROCK MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
- 00:13:24,929 --> 00:13:26,346 - No, really? - Yeah.
- 00:13:26,514 --> 00:13:29,015 You can hook it up to your TV and you get radio.
- 00:13:34,563 --> 00:13:36,731 My chair heals itself.
- 00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:42,320 All right. Earl, let's just forget about the people at the office, okay?
- 00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:46,199 There's gotta be someone else in your life that's worth sticking around for.
- 00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:50,203 What about your family or friends? Or maybe a girlfriend?
- 00:13:50,371 --> 00:13:52,247 Heh. Yeah, right.
- 00:13:52,414 --> 00:13:54,541 Oh, sorry. Boyfriend?
- 00:13:55,751 --> 00:13:57,043 Okay, I should...
- 00:13:57,211 --> 00:13:59,838 I should probably be getting back to my thing now.
- 00:14:00,005 --> 00:14:01,464 - See you. - No.
- 00:14:01,632 --> 00:14:04,467 I'm not finished yet. Don't you dare hang up on me!
- 00:14:05,386 --> 00:14:07,387 The new girl's good.
- 00:14:10,224 --> 00:14:11,850 So which boxes are mine?
- 00:14:12,017 --> 00:14:15,061 - These are yours right here. - Okay.
- 00:14:15,229 --> 00:14:18,982 - Oh, a coloring book. - Yeah, yeah. Oh, you loved that thing.
- 00:14:19,149 --> 00:14:22,110 You always had it with you. You never went anywhere without...
- 00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:23,903 Without that coloring book.
- 00:14:24,071 --> 00:14:25,363 Really?
- 00:14:25,531 --> 00:14:28,199 Wow. Looks like I had some trouble staying inside the lines.
- 00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:30,451 Uh-uh.
- 00:14:31,495 --> 00:14:32,829 Wow, look at this.
- 00:14:32,997 --> 00:14:35,665 I can't believe I even fit into this shirt.
- 00:14:40,337 --> 00:14:41,880 Oh, this is yours.
- 00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:44,632 I don't know how that got in there.
- 00:14:46,510 --> 00:14:48,595 Hey, this isn't my stuff.
- 00:14:48,762 --> 00:14:52,223 Ross, these are your boxes.
- 00:14:55,686 --> 00:14:57,395 Where are my boxes?
- 00:14:58,397 --> 00:15:01,983 The garage flooded, sweetie, and it ruined everything in your boxes.
- 00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:03,526 I'm sorry.
- 00:15:03,944 --> 00:15:06,821 - Just mine? - I'm afraid so.
- 00:15:07,239 --> 00:15:10,366 So why wasn't Ross' stuff ruined?
- 00:15:11,118 --> 00:15:14,913 I used your boxes to divert water away from the Porsche.
- 00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:17,916 So wait. Ross' stuff is fine, but I have no memories...
- 00:15:18,083 --> 00:15:21,044 ...because you wanted to keep the bottom two inches of your car from water?
- 00:15:21,211 --> 00:15:23,838 Well, there was also leaves and gook and stuff.
- 00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:28,092 I can't believe this.
- 00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:37,143 Screw it. I'm having one.
- 00:15:42,066 --> 00:15:43,900 - Hey, Chandler. - Hey.
- 00:15:44,068 --> 00:15:47,445 How would you like to sit in a chair that fully reclines...
- 00:15:47,613 --> 00:15:49,739 ...has a rolling massage...
- 00:15:49,907 --> 00:15:52,200 ...and speakers in the headrest?
- 00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:54,619 Yeah, I'd love to, but I've tried that so many times...
- 00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:57,538 ...they won't even let me in the store anymore.
- 00:15:59,166 --> 00:16:02,377 Well, what if I told you that you could do it in my apartment?
- 00:16:02,544 --> 00:16:03,878 Are you telling me...
- 00:16:04,046 --> 00:16:07,548 ...that you bought the chair that is making all other lounge systems obsolete?
- 00:16:07,716 --> 00:16:12,428 The chair that Sit Magazine called "Chair of the Year"?
- 00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:15,390 I just purchased...
- 00:16:15,557 --> 00:16:19,686 ...the La-Z-Boy E-Cliner 3000.
- 00:16:19,853 --> 00:16:22,188 Well, that's awesome. That's great. What made you do it?
- 00:16:22,356 --> 00:16:25,358 Well, it's a long story, but I broke Joey's chair...
- 00:16:25,526 --> 00:16:28,277 Whoa, whoa, whoa. You broke Joey's chair?
- 00:16:28,445 --> 00:16:30,196 - Yeah. - I thought I broke Joey's chair.
- 00:16:30,364 --> 00:16:33,491 - That's why I replaced it with mine. - Oh.
- 00:16:33,659 --> 00:16:35,994 That's how it got fixed.
- 00:16:36,412 --> 00:16:39,539 Well, what did you think? That elves came in and fixed it?
- 00:16:39,748 --> 00:16:41,332 No.
- 00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:43,126 Angels.
- 00:16:44,336 --> 00:16:47,338 - I'm getting my chair back. - Hey.
- 00:16:49,466 --> 00:16:52,802 Well, looks like it wasn't healed after all.
- 00:16:53,345 --> 00:16:56,681 So I guess this chair's mine now.
- 00:16:58,392 --> 00:16:59,684 [GROANS]
- 00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:01,602 Joey, you broke my chair!
- 00:17:01,770 --> 00:17:02,812 Your chair?
- 00:17:02,980 --> 00:17:06,024 Yeah, he thought he broke your chair, so he switched the chairs.
- 00:17:06,191 --> 00:17:09,861 - So there was no miracle? - No, Joe. No miracle.
- 00:17:10,404 --> 00:17:12,196 Oh, no. This is devastating.
- 00:17:13,991 --> 00:17:15,033 My faith is shaken.
- 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:18,411 I'm so glad I have the new chair to get me through this difficult time in my life.
- 00:17:20,998 --> 00:17:23,458 Excuse me, could you tell me where can I find Earl?
- 00:17:23,625 --> 00:17:25,209 He's the supply manager here.
- 00:17:25,377 --> 00:17:26,627 Sorry, I don't know any Earl.
- 00:17:27,087 --> 00:17:29,255 I'm right here!
- 00:17:32,551 --> 00:17:33,968 Earl?
- 00:17:35,846 --> 00:17:38,723 - I'm Phoebe. - Phoebe?
- 00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:41,309 The lady who sells toner?
- 00:17:41,477 --> 00:17:44,187 Um, look, you can't kill yourself.
- 00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:47,607 Look, um, I really appreciate you coming down...
- 00:17:47,775 --> 00:17:49,484 No, no, I can't let you do it.
- 00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:50,818 Why?
- 00:17:50,986 --> 00:17:53,946 Because it was fate that made me call you today.
- 00:17:54,156 --> 00:17:55,865 I thought it was toner.
- 00:17:56,575 --> 00:18:01,621 No. Think about it, okay? This isn't even my regular job, okay?
- 00:18:01,789 --> 00:18:04,540 And my first day on the job, you're my first call.
- 00:18:04,708 --> 00:18:07,794 And somebody else might have hung up on you, but I wouldn't do that...
- 00:18:07,961 --> 00:18:10,338 ...because I know about this stuff.
- 00:18:10,506 --> 00:18:12,673 - My mom killed herself. - Really?
- 00:18:12,841 --> 00:18:14,467 PHOEBE: Yes. - How?
- 00:18:14,635 --> 00:18:16,260 I'm not gonna give you tips.
- 00:18:18,263 --> 00:18:20,181 Look, don't you see that this...?
- 00:18:20,349 --> 00:18:24,143 This all came together so that I could stop you from doing this.
- 00:18:25,020 --> 00:18:28,523 - Couldn't it just be a coincidence? - No, it's fate.
- 00:18:29,608 --> 00:18:32,693 It doesn't really seem like enough to be fate.
- 00:18:32,861 --> 00:18:36,364 Oh, well. Um, okay, here's a weird thing.
- 00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:40,701 My mother was also a supply manager.
- 00:18:42,037 --> 00:18:43,871 I'm actually the office manager.
- 00:18:44,039 --> 00:18:46,249 Oh, my God. So was she!
- 00:18:46,416 --> 00:18:48,793 And get this, okay.
- 00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:52,755 Your name is Earl, right? Her name was Pearl.
- 00:18:52,923 --> 00:18:54,882 Pearl.
- 00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:57,844 Was there anything else?
- 00:18:58,011 --> 00:18:59,428 Sure.
- 00:19:00,514 --> 00:19:02,890 Um, where are you from?
- 00:19:03,058 --> 00:19:05,726 - Philadelphia. - Oh, my God, so was she!
- 00:19:07,521 --> 00:19:09,438 Oh, I've got goose bumps.
- 00:19:09,773 --> 00:19:10,857 Really?
- 00:19:11,024 --> 00:19:13,651 - Well, I'm wearing layers, and it's warm. - Yeah.
- 00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:17,196 But... Look. Okay. These jerks might not care about you...
- 00:19:17,364 --> 00:19:21,200 ...but the universe does, and that says a lot.
- 00:19:23,245 --> 00:19:24,996 Did you hear that?
- 00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:27,874 I don't need you guys to care about me...
- 00:19:28,041 --> 00:19:30,334 ...because the universe cares.
- 00:19:30,502 --> 00:19:32,712 The whole universe!
- 00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:34,297 [LAUGHS]
- 00:19:38,135 --> 00:19:40,553 I really wish they'd care just a little bit.
- 00:19:42,639 --> 00:19:44,974 Oh, this is terrible.
- 00:19:45,142 --> 00:19:47,727 Everything is destroyed.
- 00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:49,562 Look at this.
- 00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:53,649 It obviously meant enough for me to save it, and now I can't tell what it is.
- 00:19:54,902 --> 00:19:57,153 It's still soft.
- 00:19:59,907 --> 00:20:01,949 What do you think this is?
- 00:20:03,410 --> 00:20:05,077 Mon, I think it was a mouse.
- 00:20:05,245 --> 00:20:06,495 [SCREAMS]
- 00:20:13,462 --> 00:20:16,297 - How are you, honey? MONICA: How do you think I am?
- 00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:19,050 You've wrecked all my childhood memories...
- 00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:21,052 ...you love Ross more than me.
- 00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:24,472 And I just rubbed a dead mouse on my face.
- 00:20:26,183 --> 00:20:30,478 Sweetheart, we love you just as much as Ross.
- 00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:32,647 Now, I'm sorry about everything that happened...
- 00:20:32,814 --> 00:20:36,442 ...and I'll probably never be able to make it up to you...
- 00:20:36,610 --> 00:20:38,486 ...but here's a start.
- 00:20:41,323 --> 00:20:44,450 - What's this? - It's the key to my Porsche.
- 00:20:44,618 --> 00:20:46,786 Well, the key to your Porsche.
- 00:20:47,996 --> 00:20:50,915 - What? - What?
- 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,793 I've been thinking of getting rid of it...
- 00:20:53,961 --> 00:20:57,088 ...and I was driving it the other day and I saw my reflection in a window.
- 00:20:57,256 --> 00:21:00,424 Your mother's right, I do look like an ass.
- 00:21:01,593 --> 00:21:04,220 You're giving it to me? You're kidding me, right?
- 00:21:04,388 --> 00:21:07,431 Well, wait a minute.
- 00:21:07,599 --> 00:21:11,310 I mean, a couple of stupid boxes get wet, and she gets a Porsche?
- 00:21:13,397 --> 00:21:15,481 - Why don't we take it for a spin? - All right.
- 00:21:15,649 --> 00:21:19,318 What about me? I'm a medical marvel!
- 00:21:25,409 --> 00:21:26,826 [CHAIR VIBRATES]
- 00:21:27,619 --> 00:21:29,287 - Oh, yeah. - Oh.
- 00:21:29,538 --> 00:21:32,540 [BOTH GROANING]
- 00:21:33,709 --> 00:21:35,126 - Hey, guys. RACHEL: Hey.
- 00:21:35,294 --> 00:21:37,169 Know what happened to Chandler's Barcalounger?
- 00:21:37,337 --> 00:21:39,380 Oh, yeah. Joey broke it. Had to get rid of it.
- 00:21:39,548 --> 00:21:44,093 Are you kidding? I get a Porsche and the Barcalounger's gone?
- 00:21:44,261 --> 00:21:47,138 Heh. This is the best day ever!
- 00:21:52,894 --> 00:21:54,895 [English - US - SDH]
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