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Эпизод c «унаги»
The One with Unagi
Сезон: 06Серия: 17
Описание
Рэйчел и Фиби посещают курсы самообороны. Росс, который раньше занимался карате, устраивает неожиданную имитацию нападения, чтобы убедить их в отсутствии унаги, якобы состояния «полного осознания», хотя унаги по-японски означает угорь. Чендлер и Моника отмечают День святого Валентина с опозданием на несколько дней, но, забыв сделать друг другу подарки своими руками, Моника дарит Чендлеру одного из «носочных зайчиков» Фиби. Чендлер находит в шкафу кассету и дарит её Монике, не зная, что это подарок от Дженис, с её записанным голосом. Когда Джои подаёт заявку на участие в исследовательском проекте по изучению идентичных близнецов с оплатой в 2000 долларов, он нанимает кого-то, чтобы тот сыграл роль его «близнеца».
Субтитры
- 00:00:06,089 --> 00:00:07,881 Hey, remember when I had a monkey?
- 00:00:08,049 --> 00:00:09,591 - Yeah. PHOEBE: Mm-hm.
- 00:00:09,759 --> 00:00:12,177 Yeah. What was I thinking?
- 00:00:12,887 --> 00:00:17,599 Hey, so, what's with the 20 percent tip? Did I do something wrong?
- 00:00:19,060 --> 00:00:21,061 Twenty percent is a pretty generous tip.
- 00:00:21,229 --> 00:00:24,398 You know what's more generous than that? Fifty percent.
- 00:00:25,066 --> 00:00:28,777 - You know what's even more generous? - I see where you're going.
- 00:00:29,404 --> 00:00:32,614 - What's up with the greed, Joe? - All right, look, I'm sorry, you guys.
- 00:00:32,782 --> 00:00:35,367 It's just that I gotta get these new headshots made...
- 00:00:35,535 --> 00:00:37,494 ...and they're really expensive, you know.
- 00:00:37,662 --> 00:00:39,621 I'm down to like three.
- 00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:43,542 Actually, two, because one of them I kind of blackened in some teeth.
- 00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:45,878 Why'd I do that? Ugh.
- 00:00:46,087 --> 00:00:49,298 Well, isn't there something you can do to earn a little extra money?
- 00:00:49,466 --> 00:00:52,551 I mean, can't you pick up, I don't know, an extra shift here?
- 00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:55,888 Or, you know, I used to beg for money.
- 00:00:57,682 --> 00:01:01,310 Of course, it helps if you've got, you know, a little of this going on.
- 00:01:01,478 --> 00:01:03,979 - Wow, I still have it. Ha, ha. JOEY: Yeah.
- 00:01:04,439 --> 00:01:07,858 Wait, don't you have an audition today? Yeah. Maybe you'll get that job.
- 00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:09,109 Oh, ha-ha-ha.
- 00:01:11,196 --> 00:01:12,446 Oh, wait a minute.
- 00:01:12,614 --> 00:01:15,449 I used to get medical experiments done on me all the time.
- 00:01:16,576 --> 00:01:19,036 Ah, finally, an explanation.
- 00:01:19,621 --> 00:01:22,831 No, I used to get paid for all kinds of medical stuff, remember?
- 00:01:22,999 --> 00:01:27,336 Let's see. Uh... Well, I don't wanna donate sperm again.
- 00:01:27,504 --> 00:01:30,422 I really prefer doing that at the home office, you know?
- 00:01:30,590 --> 00:01:34,676 Ooh, ooh, maybe they want some of my blood or spit or something, huh?
- 00:01:34,886 --> 00:01:36,220 - Joey. - Yeah?
- 00:01:36,387 --> 00:01:39,598 What did I tell you about talking to your friends while you're working?
- 00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:41,183 Uh, do it?
- 00:01:42,060 --> 00:01:44,561 That guy's been waiting for his coffee for 10 minutes.
- 00:01:44,729 --> 00:01:47,397 He's complained about you three times.
- 00:01:49,859 --> 00:01:51,235 Now, where was I?
- 00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:33,026 - Hey. - Hey.
- 00:02:33,194 --> 00:02:36,238 - Hey, what have you been up to? - Oh. We went to a self-defense class today.
- 00:02:36,406 --> 00:02:37,447 Wow.
- 00:02:37,615 --> 00:02:41,535 Yeah. Kicking a guy in the crotch all morning really takes it out of you.
- 00:02:41,703 --> 00:02:43,996 Takes it out of you? Heh.
- 00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:47,624 - No, now we can kick anybody's ass. - Yeah.
- 00:02:47,792 --> 00:02:50,043 After one class? I don't think so.
- 00:02:50,503 --> 00:02:52,921 What, you wanna see me self-defend myself?
- 00:02:53,089 --> 00:02:55,424 Go over there and pretend you're a sexual predator.
- 00:02:55,592 --> 00:02:57,342 Go on, I dare you.
- 00:02:58,094 --> 00:03:01,930 Of course you can defend yourself from an attack you know is coming.
- 00:03:02,098 --> 00:03:03,932 That's not enough.
- 00:03:04,100 --> 00:03:07,394 Look, I studied karate for a long time.
- 00:03:08,938 --> 00:03:11,690 And there's a concept you should really be familiar with.
- 00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:16,236 It's what the Japanese call unagi.
- 00:03:18,072 --> 00:03:19,990 Isn't that a kind of sushi?
- 00:03:21,242 --> 00:03:25,329 - No, it's a concept. - Yeah, it is, it is. It's freshwater eel.
- 00:03:25,830 --> 00:03:27,456 All right, maybe it means that too.
- 00:03:27,624 --> 00:03:30,751 Oh, I would kill for a salmon-skin roll right now.
- 00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:35,172 You know what? Fine, get attacked. I don't even care.
- 00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:39,092 Come on, Ross, we're sorry. Please tell us what it is.
- 00:03:41,387 --> 00:03:46,391 Unagi is a state of total awareness.
- 00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:49,186 Okay? Only by achieving true unagi...
- 00:03:49,354 --> 00:03:53,941 ...can you be prepared for any danger that may befall you.
- 00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:57,402 In case someone's trying to steal your bamboo sleeping mat...
- 00:03:57,570 --> 00:03:58,612 ...or your kettle of fish?
- 00:03:58,780 --> 00:03:59,821 [RACHEL LAUGHS]
- 00:04:00,615 --> 00:04:02,616 [LAUGHS]
- 00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:05,702 All I'm saying is, it's one thing being prepared...
- 00:04:05,870 --> 00:04:07,871 ...for an attack against, like, each other.
- 00:04:08,039 --> 00:04:10,874 Whole other story being prepared for an attack, I don't know...
- 00:04:11,042 --> 00:04:12,834 A surprise!
- 00:04:20,635 --> 00:04:26,265 All right, you knew that was coming, but that doesn't mean you have unagi.
- 00:04:29,185 --> 00:04:32,771 Ooh, if we made reservations, we could have unagi in about a half-hour.
- 00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:34,523 You know what?
- 00:04:36,317 --> 00:04:38,443 - Hey, hey, is Monica here? - No.
- 00:04:38,611 --> 00:04:42,197 Okay, look, I need your help. I don't know what to get for Valentine's Day.
- 00:04:42,365 --> 00:04:47,119 Well, Valentine's Day was two weeks ago, so I wouldn't get her a calendar.
- 00:04:47,328 --> 00:04:51,456 Heh. She was working on Valentine's Day, so we're celebrating it tonight.
- 00:04:51,708 --> 00:04:55,877 Oh, hey, why don't you book a day for both of you at one of those romantic spas?
- 00:04:56,045 --> 00:04:58,463 Ooh, Joey, that's actually a really good idea.
- 00:04:58,631 --> 00:05:01,717 Yeah, and of course, crotchless panties.
- 00:05:04,095 --> 00:05:07,014 Well, as appealing as that does sound to her boyfriend...
- 00:05:07,181 --> 00:05:09,182 ...and her brother...
- 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:15,522 ...I can't. We promised we'd make each other gifts this year.
- 00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:17,024 - Oh, I love that. - You guys.
- 00:05:17,191 --> 00:05:19,526 You can't make crotchless panties? You take...
- 00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:24,698 - You take a pair of scissors and just cut... - Okay, okay, okay.
- 00:05:25,408 --> 00:05:27,576 So making things, that sounds so much fun.
- 00:05:27,744 --> 00:05:31,038 I thought so too, until I papier-mâchéd one of my eyes shut.
- 00:05:31,622 --> 00:05:33,957 I love papier-mâché. What did you make?
- 00:05:34,125 --> 00:05:35,167 I made a:
- 00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:36,752 [SPEAKS GIBBERISH]
- 00:05:37,587 --> 00:05:39,087 - What is that? - Nothing.
- 00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:40,464 Oh.
- 00:05:41,507 --> 00:05:42,799 So, what are you gonna do?
- 00:05:42,967 --> 00:05:45,802 Have you guys made anything that I could take credit for?
- 00:05:45,970 --> 00:05:49,556 Ooh, I have, I have. I started making these little sock bunnies.
- 00:05:49,724 --> 00:05:51,933 Oh, for crying out loud.
- 00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:55,979 Hey, wait a minute. That is my sock.
- 00:05:57,899 --> 00:05:59,524 Now it's your little bunny friend.
- 00:06:00,068 --> 00:06:01,443 [LAUGHS]
- 00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:11,745 Okay.
- 00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:17,501 This actually is a:
- 00:06:17,668 --> 00:06:19,044 [SPEAKS GIBBERISH]
- 00:06:21,172 --> 00:06:22,464 - Hey. - Hey, honey.
- 00:06:22,632 --> 00:06:25,258 Can I ask you a question about the Valentine's Day gifts?
- 00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:27,969 - Oh, yeah. - Do we have to make the entire thing?
- 00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:30,806 Yes. Why, did you forget to make yours?
- 00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:33,767 Of course not.
- 00:06:33,976 --> 00:06:35,435 [BOTH CHUCKLE]
- 00:06:35,603 --> 00:06:38,772 I just have to, uh, go over to the place where I made it and pick it up.
- 00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:39,981 - Okay. - Okay.
- 00:06:40,149 --> 00:06:42,401 I can't wait. It's gonna be the best Valentine's Day ever.
- 00:06:42,568 --> 00:06:44,111 [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
- 00:06:45,488 --> 00:06:48,782 I can't believe it. Make the presents. Make the presents.
- 00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:53,286 - What? - Just so excited to make the presents!
- 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:55,455 [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
- 00:06:57,792 --> 00:06:59,418 Shoot.
- 00:07:01,546 --> 00:07:03,964 Hi, I'm Joey Tribbiani.
- 00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:06,967 And with all due respect, I'd like to donate some fluids.
- 00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:11,263 We're at the end of one of our research cycles...
- 00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:13,473 ...so we're not looking for applicants now.
- 00:07:13,641 --> 00:07:16,226 That's too bad. I've kind of been saving up.
- 00:07:20,064 --> 00:07:23,191 Uh, you sure there's no studies I can participate in?
- 00:07:23,401 --> 00:07:25,444 Well, here's a schedule of what's coming up.
- 00:07:25,611 --> 00:07:27,195 Ah, thanks.
- 00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:29,239 Oh, but this one starts now.
- 00:07:29,407 --> 00:07:32,409 That one is available now, but only identical twins are eligible.
- 00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:35,245 - It's a twin study. - But it's $2000.
- 00:07:35,955 --> 00:07:38,248 - Sorry. - Oh.
- 00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:41,084 Well, how about this one?
- 00:07:41,252 --> 00:07:46,673 "Testing the Effects of Joey Tribbiani on Attractive Nurse Receptionists."
- 00:07:47,592 --> 00:07:51,386 We already got the results back on that one, and they're not good.
- 00:07:55,433 --> 00:07:57,350 - That was good. - Wasn't that a blast?
- 00:07:57,518 --> 00:08:00,770 - Danger! Danger! - God, Ross!
- 00:08:04,233 --> 00:08:06,443 What the hell was that?
- 00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:10,697 A lesson in the importance of unagi.
- 00:08:12,074 --> 00:08:13,116 [RACHEL GROANS]
- 00:08:13,284 --> 00:08:14,993 You're a freak.
- 00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:17,245 Perhaps.
- 00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:20,081 Now, I'm curious.
- 00:08:20,249 --> 00:08:25,629 At what point during those girlish screams would you have begun to kick my ass?
- 00:08:27,757 --> 00:08:30,550 All right, so we weren't prepared.
- 00:08:32,011 --> 00:08:35,430 I'm sorry I had to take such drastic measures to make my point.
- 00:08:35,598 --> 00:08:37,766 But, look, I just want you guys to be safe.
- 00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:39,309 Oh...
- 00:08:39,477 --> 00:08:41,645 Danger!
- 00:08:45,274 --> 00:08:48,985 Ah, huh? Unagi.
- 00:08:55,243 --> 00:08:57,827 JOEY: Two thousand bucks is a lot of money.
- 00:08:57,995 --> 00:09:00,413 Boy, I wish I had a twin.
- 00:09:00,581 --> 00:09:03,041 Where could I find someone...
- 00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:06,962 ...who looks exactly like me?
- 00:09:26,732 --> 00:09:27,816 Hey.
- 00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:29,776 Chandler.
- 00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:33,655 I sensed it was you.
- 00:09:35,491 --> 00:09:36,992 What?
- 00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:39,160 Unagi.
- 00:09:39,954 --> 00:09:41,705 I'm always aware.
- 00:09:41,872 --> 00:09:44,833 Okay, are you aware that unagi is an eel?
- 00:09:46,711 --> 00:09:49,462 - What's up? - I can't figure out what to make Monica.
- 00:09:49,630 --> 00:09:52,048 Oh. Why don't you make her one of your little jokes?
- 00:09:52,216 --> 00:09:53,550 I'm going crazy, okay?
- 00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:56,219 Do you have anything around here that looks homemade?
- 00:09:57,096 --> 00:09:59,723 Oh, you know what? She'd love this.
- 00:09:59,890 --> 00:10:03,310 It's an exact replica of Apollo 8. I made it in the sixth grade.
- 00:10:04,645 --> 00:10:08,273 Yeah, I guess I could use that. I could say, "Your love sends me to the moon."
- 00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:11,651 Yeah, yeah. Except Apollo 8 didn't actually land on the moon.
- 00:10:11,819 --> 00:10:12,986 But you could write, um:
- 00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:18,199 "Your love lets me orbit the moon twice and return safely."
- 00:10:19,577 --> 00:10:21,036 Wait, I can't give this to her.
- 00:10:21,245 --> 00:10:24,205 - Why not? - It says "Captain Ross" on the side.
- 00:10:26,083 --> 00:10:28,960 - And it says "I hate Monica" on the bottom. - Oh.
- 00:10:33,049 --> 00:10:35,884 PHOEBE & RACHEL: Danger! ROSS: Aah!
- 00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:45,018 Ah. Salmon-skin roll.
- 00:10:49,065 --> 00:10:51,316 Okay, okay.
- 00:11:05,831 --> 00:11:07,707 Yes, honey, I made it myself.
- 00:11:21,764 --> 00:11:24,099 I can't do it. I can't do it.
- 00:11:26,936 --> 00:11:30,772 Oh, oh. A mixed tape. A mixed tape.
- 00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:33,566 - Hey, hi. - Hey.
- 00:11:33,734 --> 00:11:36,653 - You ready to exchange gifts? - Sure. Okay, you go first.
- 00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:38,405 - Okay, come here, come here. - Okay.
- 00:11:38,572 --> 00:11:41,700 Okay, now, it's not wrapped, because I just finished it.
- 00:11:41,867 --> 00:11:43,159 Okay.
- 00:11:43,327 --> 00:11:46,913 But I made you a tape of what I think are all romantic songs.
- 00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:48,415 [GASPS]
- 00:11:48,582 --> 00:11:50,250 What a great gift.
- 00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:52,585 Oh.
- 00:11:52,753 --> 00:11:55,338 Is "The Way You Look Tonight" on it?
- 00:11:58,008 --> 00:12:00,051 Maybe. We'll have to listen and see.
- 00:12:00,928 --> 00:12:04,305 - Oh, I love it. Thank you so much. Mwah. - Aw. Okay. Mwah.
- 00:12:04,473 --> 00:12:06,224 Okay, you ready to open yours?
- 00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:08,393 - Yeah. - Okay.
- 00:12:19,822 --> 00:12:21,239 It's a sock bunny.
- 00:12:21,449 --> 00:12:24,159 Ha, ha. Yeah, yeah. Remember how I call you "bunny"?
- 00:12:25,035 --> 00:12:26,786 Not really.
- 00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:31,124 Well, I did one time. And I wanna start doing it more.
- 00:12:32,793 --> 00:12:34,461 - That's what this is about. - I see.
- 00:12:35,045 --> 00:12:37,130 You know, um, Phoebe makes sock bunnies.
- 00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:38,339 No. No, she doesn't.
- 00:12:38,507 --> 00:12:41,009 Phoebe, what she makes, that's... They're sock rabbits.
- 00:12:41,177 --> 00:12:43,720 They're completely different. Okay, okay.
- 00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:47,307 Okay, I didn't make it. I'm sorry. I totally forgot about tonight...
- 00:12:47,475 --> 00:12:49,768 ...and that we were supposed to make the presents.
- 00:12:49,935 --> 00:12:52,896 - Oh, it's okay. I don't... - No, no, it's not okay. It's not.
- 00:12:53,063 --> 00:12:54,564 I mean, you're so incredible.
- 00:12:54,732 --> 00:12:58,777 You went through all this time and effort to make this tape for me.
- 00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:03,239 You know, I'm just gonna... I'm gonna make this up to you. I will.
- 00:13:03,407 --> 00:13:07,577 I am going to cook you anything you want in here.
- 00:13:07,745 --> 00:13:12,332 And I'm going to do anything you want in there.
- 00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:17,545 Well, I did put a lot of thought into the tape.
- 00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:28,473 Wow.
- 00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:30,058 [MONICA CHUCKLES]
- 00:13:31,894 --> 00:13:36,439 - You are way too young to have seen that. - Oops. Ha, ha.
- 00:13:36,607 --> 00:13:38,483 Your birthday's in a month and a half.
- 00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:40,985 What do you say I forget to get you a present for that too?
- 00:13:41,153 --> 00:13:42,237 [BOTH CHUCKLE]
- 00:13:42,404 --> 00:13:46,199 You are totally and completely 100 percent forgiven.
- 00:13:46,408 --> 00:13:47,450 [MONICA CHUCKLES]
- 00:13:47,618 --> 00:13:48,993 - We have got to wash that. - Yeah.
- 00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:55,708 Hey, do you remember that jacket that you loved so much...
- 00:13:55,876 --> 00:13:59,337 ...that you thought was too expensive? - You have done enough.
- 00:13:59,588 --> 00:14:02,090 Ha, ha. I'm gonna wake up early and get it for you.
- 00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:04,425 No, you don't have... Get it in black, not brown.
- 00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:06,719 [TIMER DINGS IN KITCHEN]
- 00:14:06,887 --> 00:14:09,347 - Oop. Your cake is ready. - Oop.
- 00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:15,311 It's like that old saying, "Have sex, eat some cake."
- 00:14:15,479 --> 00:14:16,604 [MONICA CHUCKLES]
- 00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:22,443 Hey, Mon. Hey, Chan. Just getting a soda.
- 00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:29,242 Who the hell are you?
- 00:14:29,994 --> 00:14:31,786 I'm Joey.
- 00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:34,539 How are you doing?
- 00:14:36,333 --> 00:14:39,002 No, no, no!
- 00:14:39,169 --> 00:14:40,753 "How you doing?"
- 00:14:42,506 --> 00:14:45,091 "How you doing?" Damn it, Carl. Go wait in the hall.
- 00:14:51,599 --> 00:14:56,477 - Look, I got to apologize on behalf of Carl. - Who the hell is Carl?
- 00:14:57,062 --> 00:14:58,271 Oh, did I not mention?
- 00:14:59,523 --> 00:15:05,153 Carl is a guy I hired to be my identical twin for a medical research project.
- 00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:11,618 You know, sometimes the good ideas are just right in front of you, aren't they?
- 00:15:11,785 --> 00:15:14,370 Look, I know it sounds crazy, but I think it might work.
- 00:15:14,538 --> 00:15:16,998 But the only problem is Carl's acting is:
- 00:15:17,166 --> 00:15:19,417 The only problem?
- 00:15:20,169 --> 00:15:23,963 Yeah. He's the reason I didn't get that big Minute Maid commercial.
- 00:15:24,131 --> 00:15:27,050 We were supposed to be brothers, but he messed it up.
- 00:15:27,217 --> 00:15:29,844 Hey. Can I get a little piece of that cake?
- 00:15:30,054 --> 00:15:33,014 Pizza. We like pizza. Get out!
- 00:15:41,148 --> 00:15:43,274 - Pat Sajak? - Yep.
- 00:15:43,442 --> 00:15:45,318 - Alex Trebek? - Oh, of course.
- 00:15:45,486 --> 00:15:47,195 - Chuck Woolery? - Definitely.
- 00:15:47,363 --> 00:15:51,407 Phoebe, you will not find a single game-show host...
- 00:15:51,575 --> 00:15:53,242 ...whose ass I cannot kick.
- 00:16:01,085 --> 00:16:02,377 [GROANS]
- 00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:05,046 - Say it. - Say we are unagi.
- 00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:09,717 It's not something you are, it's something you have.
- 00:16:10,761 --> 00:16:11,803 Say it.
- 00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:13,638 I could easily get out of this...
- 00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:17,767 ...but there's a chance you could get very, very hurt.
- 00:16:19,853 --> 00:16:21,229 [ROSS YELPS]
- 00:16:30,406 --> 00:16:34,701 All right, Carl, we're next. Now, remember, what is this not gonna be?
- 00:16:34,868 --> 00:16:37,787 - Another Minute Maid fiasco. - That's right.
- 00:16:37,955 --> 00:16:39,372 And what are you not gonna do?
- 00:16:39,540 --> 00:16:43,292 - I'm not gonna talk, because... - Ah. Damn it, Carl.
- 00:16:44,294 --> 00:16:45,753 [SPUTTERS]
- 00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:49,549 Can I have the next one, please?
- 00:16:49,717 --> 00:16:51,134 Thank you.
- 00:16:51,301 --> 00:16:53,344 Joey and Tony Tribbiani.
- 00:16:53,512 --> 00:16:54,887 That's us.
- 00:16:55,055 --> 00:16:58,516 But, uh, this is a study for identical twins.
- 00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:02,103 That's right. Two thousand dollars.
- 00:17:02,730 --> 00:17:04,605 But you're not identical twins.
- 00:17:07,401 --> 00:17:09,110 Damn it, Carl.
- 00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:18,036 Oh, my good God.
- 00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:23,791 Hey. Continuing the countdown of your favorite meals.
- 00:17:23,959 --> 00:17:26,753 Tonight, number three:
- 00:17:27,296 --> 00:17:30,798 Macaroni and cheese with cut-up hot dogs.
- 00:17:32,551 --> 00:17:36,012 Look, you have done enough, okay? You have to stop this now.
- 00:17:36,180 --> 00:17:38,056 I will, but not tonight.
- 00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:42,560 For dinner music, I thought we could listen to that tape that you made me.
- 00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:44,520 - Oh, the mixed tape. - Mm-hm.
- 00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:48,107 [TONY BENNETT'S "THE WAY YOU LOOK TONIGHT" PLAYING ON STEREO]
- 00:17:48,275 --> 00:17:50,735 When I'm awfully low
- 00:17:51,945 --> 00:17:55,907 Oh. "The Way You Look Tonight" is on here.
- 00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:57,325 Dance with me.
- 00:17:57,534 --> 00:18:00,578 I will feel a glow
- 00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:05,708 Just thinking of you
- 00:18:07,878 --> 00:18:12,590 And the way you look tonight
- 00:18:16,136 --> 00:18:19,055 You are just the sweetest.
- 00:18:21,225 --> 00:18:26,854 JANICE [ON STEREO]: I love the way you look every night, Chandler.
- 00:18:31,235 --> 00:18:33,361 That's why I made you this tape.
- 00:18:33,529 --> 00:18:37,907 Happy birthday. Love, Janice. Mwah.
- 00:18:43,455 --> 00:18:45,206 No, you're the sweetest.
- 00:18:50,587 --> 00:18:51,629 [GRUNTS]
- 00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:56,050 Okay, ladies, that ends today's class. Let's remember, let's be safe out there.
- 00:19:02,933 --> 00:19:05,017 - Great class. Heh. - Thanks, man.
- 00:19:05,185 --> 00:19:07,061 Yeah, yeah. I was watching.
- 00:19:10,065 --> 00:19:12,400 Um, hey, a couple of questions, though.
- 00:19:12,568 --> 00:19:15,153 Um, you know that last move...
- 00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:18,406 ...where that woman tripped you and then pinned you to the floor?
- 00:19:18,574 --> 00:19:20,074 What would you do next?
- 00:19:20,242 --> 00:19:22,785 Well, then she'd take her keys and jam them in your...
- 00:19:22,953 --> 00:19:25,997 No, no, no. What would you do next?
- 00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:29,083 - Who, me, the attacker? - Yes, that's right.
- 00:19:30,252 --> 00:19:31,294 Why?
- 00:19:31,461 --> 00:19:35,047 I tried attacking two women. Did not work.
- 00:19:35,632 --> 00:19:37,341 - What? - No, I mean, it's okay.
- 00:19:37,509 --> 00:19:42,305 I mean, they're my friends. In fact, I was married to one of them.
- 00:19:42,472 --> 00:19:44,849 Let me get this straight. You attacked your ex-wife?
- 00:19:45,559 --> 00:19:47,768 Oh, no, no, no. Heh.
- 00:19:47,936 --> 00:19:49,896 I tried.
- 00:19:51,773 --> 00:19:54,567 But I couldn't. That's why I'm here.
- 00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:57,695 Maybe we could attack them together.
- 00:19:59,823 --> 00:20:01,908 That's a no.
- 00:20:03,118 --> 00:20:06,996 I am so, so, so sorry.
- 00:20:07,915 --> 00:20:09,165 Uh-huh.
- 00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:14,670 Oh! And I will cook anything you want in here...
- 00:20:14,838 --> 00:20:18,633 ...and do anything you want in there.
- 00:20:19,885 --> 00:20:23,095 Yeah, you will, and are you kidding me?
- 00:20:25,515 --> 00:20:28,476 Come on, Monica, it's our Valentine's Day.
- 00:20:28,644 --> 00:20:30,811 Please, please, please?
- 00:20:33,106 --> 00:20:36,025 - Okay. - Okay.
- 00:20:36,693 --> 00:20:38,694 ["MY FUNNY VALENTINE" PLAYING ON STEREO]
- 00:20:39,821 --> 00:20:45,243 JANICE [SINGING ON STEREO]: My funny valentine
- 00:20:45,410 --> 00:20:49,956 Sweet comic valentine You make me...
- 00:20:50,123 --> 00:20:53,668 - So are we going in there? - I am.
- 00:20:56,797 --> 00:20:59,966 Your looks are laughable
- 00:21:00,133 --> 00:21:01,592 [JANICE LAUGHS ON STEREO]
- 00:21:07,057 --> 00:21:08,474 ROSS: Aha.
- 00:21:08,850 --> 00:21:11,811 Nowhere to run.
- 00:21:13,605 --> 00:21:16,315 I don't like sitting up here. I'm gonna go over...
- 00:21:16,483 --> 00:21:18,150 No, Rachel, they got here first.
- 00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:19,860 [RACHEL SIGHS]
- 00:21:27,452 --> 00:21:29,704 - Why is Ross doing that? ROSS: Danger!
- 00:21:29,871 --> 00:21:34,709 Oh, my God. Why is he jumping on those women?
- 00:21:36,003 --> 00:21:38,170 We should help them.
- 00:21:38,338 --> 00:21:40,548 I don't think they need any help.
- 00:21:40,716 --> 00:21:42,717 [ROSS SCREAMING]
- 00:21:52,394 --> 00:21:54,395 [English - US - SDH]
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