Эпизод, в котором все могло быть иначе, Часть 2
Описание
Компания друзей размышляет о том, какой могла бы быть их жизнь, если бы Росс и Кэрол остались в браке, Моника никогда бы не похудела, Чендлер стал бы писателем, Джои продолжал бы работать в сериале «Дни нашей жизни», Рейчел вышла бы замуж за Барри, а Фиби стала бы биржевым брокером. Затем действие переносится в альтернативную реальность. Чендлер, изо всех сил пытающийся опубликовать свои произведения, становится помощником Джои, и результаты неоднозначны. Моника планирует лишиться девственности со своим парнем Роджером, но плотный график Роджера мешает этому; когда Чендлер пытается её утешить, они оказываются вместе в постели. Росс пытается разнообразить свой брак с Кэрол, предлагая секс втроём, и, когда его исключают из процесса, он понимает, что Кэрол — лесбиянка. Рейчел мгновенно влюбляется в Джои после первой встречи в Central Perk, и они чуть не заводят роман, прежде чем Рейчел обнаруживает, что Барри ей изменяет. Фиби теряет миллионы долларов из-за банкротства фирмы, попадает в больницу с инфарктом, вызванным стрессом, и впоследствии её увольняют (что приводит к повторному инфаркту); она начинает черпать музыкальное вдохновение из своих переживаний, близких к смерти.
Субтитры
- 00:00:50,925 --> 00:00:53,177 So, honey, this, uh...
- 00:00:53,344 --> 00:00:56,180 This threesome thing? Uh, heh.
- 00:00:56,848 --> 00:00:59,058 How are we even gonna find...?
- 00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:03,020 Actually, I'm making a list of women I know who might be into this.
- 00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:07,733 Oh. Wow.
- 00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:10,652 Huh.
- 00:01:12,405 --> 00:01:13,822 Boy.
- 00:01:15,283 --> 00:01:18,285 Well, someone's been doing their homework.
- 00:01:18,661 --> 00:01:21,330 Yeah. Oh, and I know Gail Rosten is in there twice...
- 00:01:21,498 --> 00:01:22,956 ...but she is so...
- 00:01:23,124 --> 00:01:25,375 Oh, I know. Ha, ha.
- 00:01:26,961 --> 00:01:30,964 You know, just talking about it is getting me kind of...
- 00:01:31,132 --> 00:01:33,258 - I know. Me too. - Yeah?
- 00:01:33,426 --> 00:01:34,885 I think Ben's asleep.
- 00:01:36,012 --> 00:01:37,721 Oh, um...
- 00:01:37,972 --> 00:01:42,768 You know, I think it'll be better if we just save it.
- 00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:44,978 Yeah. Heh.
- 00:01:46,022 --> 00:01:48,273 Right. Save it. I can do that.
- 00:01:49,651 --> 00:01:51,527 [YELLING]
- 00:01:57,367 --> 00:01:59,326 - Hey, Pheebs. PHOEBE: Hey.
- 00:01:59,494 --> 00:02:00,577 How's it going?
- 00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:04,832 I've got to get out of this bed. I'm going crazy here! Crazy!
- 00:02:04,999 --> 00:02:06,250 Here you go, sweetie.
- 00:02:06,417 --> 00:02:09,503 What the hell is this, herbal tea? I hate herbal tea.
- 00:02:10,713 --> 00:02:13,549 - I put some honey in it. - Nyeh nyeh honey nyeh nyeh.
- 00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:19,972 - She doesn't know she was fired? - No, the doctors say it may kill her.
- 00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:23,142 What are you two girls whispering about over there?
- 00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:26,854 But I think we should tell her.
- 00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:34,444 Ugh, I mean, it's just so realistic.
- 00:02:34,612 --> 00:02:36,488 I know. Yeah.
- 00:02:36,656 --> 00:02:39,741 - His name's Pat. - Pat the dog.
- 00:02:39,909 --> 00:02:43,370 Oh! Oh! I get it! Ha, ha!
- 00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:45,789 Oh, God.
- 00:02:47,750 --> 00:02:49,751 You, uh? You...
- 00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:53,297 ...ready for a refill? - Oh, I probably shouldn't.
- 00:02:53,464 --> 00:02:55,048 - Oh. - So I will! Ha.
- 00:02:58,052 --> 00:02:59,303 Oh!
- 00:02:59,470 --> 00:03:00,971 Wow.
- 00:03:01,139 --> 00:03:03,557 - It's like it's raining. - Pretty cool, huh?
- 00:03:03,725 --> 00:03:07,019 But if you think a fish wouldn't get sucked into the mechanism...
- 00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:09,062 ...well, you'd be wrong.
- 00:03:11,065 --> 00:03:12,900 Um, can I use your bathroom?
- 00:03:13,067 --> 00:03:17,237 - It's, uh, right through there. - Okay. Ah.
- 00:03:17,405 --> 00:03:19,281 You know, I gotta tell you.
- 00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:21,366 If someone told me a week ago...
- 00:03:21,576 --> 00:03:25,078 ...that I would be peeing in Joey Tribbiani's apartment...
- 00:03:25,246 --> 00:03:27,748 Life's pretty great, isn't it?
- 00:03:29,709 --> 00:03:31,585 I hope you're hungry.
- 00:03:31,836 --> 00:03:33,837 We're starting with oysters.
- 00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:37,174 You know what they say about oysters, don't you?
- 00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:39,468 They have parasites?
- 00:03:40,803 --> 00:03:42,054 No. Ha, ha.
- 00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:46,934 Um, well, some people say that oysters are an aphrodisiac.
- 00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:49,728 - What people? - People.
- 00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:51,647 People say it.
- 00:03:52,982 --> 00:03:54,316 Come here.
- 00:03:57,695 --> 00:04:00,447 - So, oysters, huh? - Ha-ha-ha.
- 00:04:00,615 --> 00:04:03,408 And then we're gonna have a little Middle Eastern couscous.
- 00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:04,993 Something we can eat...
- 00:04:05,161 --> 00:04:07,246 ...with our hands.
- 00:04:07,413 --> 00:04:09,665 When we were studying communicable diseases...
- 00:04:09,832 --> 00:04:11,917 No, no, no.
- 00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:13,293 It's sensual.
- 00:04:13,461 --> 00:04:16,171 - Oh. Didn't know. Okay. - Okay.
- 00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:17,381 [PAGER BEEPS]
- 00:04:17,548 --> 00:04:19,466 Oh, no!
- 00:04:19,968 --> 00:04:21,510 I'm sorry, it's the hospital.
- 00:04:21,678 --> 00:04:24,096 The food looks great. Save me some?
- 00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,431 I can't promise anything.
- 00:04:36,025 --> 00:04:37,859 We're really gonna do this, huh?
- 00:04:38,027 --> 00:04:39,444 [BOTH CHUCKLE]
- 00:04:39,862 --> 00:04:41,154 Looks like it.
- 00:04:42,323 --> 00:04:45,784 If this is too weird for you, you can still back out...
- 00:04:45,994 --> 00:04:47,244 [KNOCKING ON DOOR]
- 00:04:47,412 --> 00:04:49,413 - I got it! - Okay.
- 00:04:50,039 --> 00:04:52,749 - Susan, hi. - Hey.
- 00:04:53,835 --> 00:04:57,254 - Thank you so much for coming. - I wouldn't have missed it for the world.
- 00:05:00,091 --> 00:05:01,717 I'm Ross, by the way.
- 00:05:01,884 --> 00:05:03,719 Hello, Ross.
- 00:05:05,221 --> 00:05:08,640 - I love what you've done with this space. - Thank you so much. Heh.
- 00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:14,313 How hot is this?
- 00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:22,154 I'm sorry you're here with me instead of Roger.
- 00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:23,530 Yeah, me too.
- 00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:27,868 Well, I could make it seem like he's here.
- 00:05:28,786 --> 00:05:31,496 "Here's some little-known facts about couscous:
- 00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:36,376 They didn't add the second 'cous' until 1979."
- 00:05:36,544 --> 00:05:39,296 [BABBLES]
- 00:05:39,464 --> 00:05:42,466 - Stop it! That's not funny! - Okay.
- 00:05:42,633 --> 00:05:44,384 I'm sorry, okay? It's just...
- 00:05:44,552 --> 00:05:48,055 ...tonight was supposed to be, you know, a big deal.
- 00:05:48,222 --> 00:05:51,058 - What was tonight? - You don't want to know what tonight was.
- 00:05:51,225 --> 00:05:52,768 Okay.
- 00:05:54,103 --> 00:05:55,520 What was tonight?
- 00:05:58,524 --> 00:06:01,401 Tonight was going to be my first time.
- 00:06:01,569 --> 00:06:03,070 With Roger?
- 00:06:05,239 --> 00:06:08,367 Not just with Roger? Oh, my God.
- 00:06:08,534 --> 00:06:11,620 All right, relax, Mr. I've-Had-Sex-Four-Times!
- 00:06:14,248 --> 00:06:16,333 Four different women!
- 00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:18,835 I've had sex way more times.
- 00:06:19,295 --> 00:06:20,629 How many?
- 00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:22,631 Nine.
- 00:06:24,717 --> 00:06:27,135 I'm just waiting for the perfect guy.
- 00:06:27,303 --> 00:06:30,889 Well, good. Good for you. You really think Roger's the perfect guy?
- 00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:34,601 No, but he's not a horrible guy.
- 00:06:34,769 --> 00:06:36,853 That's what I tell girls about me.
- 00:06:37,855 --> 00:06:40,023 Chandler, I'm gonna die a virgin!
- 00:06:40,191 --> 00:06:42,901 No, you're not. You are sweet and wonderful...
- 00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:44,903 ...and this is gonna happen for you.
- 00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:47,823 Oh, really? When? Do you want to do it with me?
- 00:06:47,990 --> 00:06:49,366 Okay.
- 00:06:53,037 --> 00:06:54,871 I was kidding.
- 00:06:55,039 --> 00:06:56,915 So was I.
- 00:07:03,047 --> 00:07:04,506 Joey.
- 00:07:04,674 --> 00:07:07,467 You're such an amazing actor.
- 00:07:08,469 --> 00:07:12,431 How do you know where Dr. Drake Ramoray leaves off...
- 00:07:12,598 --> 00:07:15,100 ...and Joey Tribbiani begins?
- 00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:18,645 Well, with Dr. Drake...
- 00:07:18,813 --> 00:07:21,606 ...they always tell me what to say.
- 00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:28,113 And with Joey, I pretty much have to make it up on my own.
- 00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:30,574 - Wow. - Mm.
- 00:07:30,741 --> 00:07:32,868 Tell me something. Whoa!
- 00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:38,748 - I just fell right off the couch there. - Yeah, you did.
- 00:07:38,916 --> 00:07:40,000 I'm okay.
- 00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:43,920 - Here you go. Let me ask you a question. - Whoops. Yeah.
- 00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:46,631 When was the last time...
- 00:07:46,799 --> 00:07:49,509 ...someone told you just how beautiful you are?
- 00:07:50,636 --> 00:07:52,053 Wow.
- 00:07:52,221 --> 00:07:54,264 I can't feel my hands.
- 00:07:55,683 --> 00:07:57,559 Come on. Come here.
- 00:08:01,272 --> 00:08:03,106 - Huh? - Huh.
- 00:08:03,274 --> 00:08:04,983 - Oh? - Ooh.
- 00:08:18,206 --> 00:08:19,748 [GAGS]
- 00:08:21,709 --> 00:08:23,376 [RETCHES]
- 00:08:27,965 --> 00:08:29,341 - We can't do this. - No!
- 00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:31,343 [BOTH LAUGHING]
- 00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,136 - Oyster? - Yeah.
- 00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:38,934 If... lf! If we did do this, there'd be a lot of pressure on me.
- 00:08:39,101 --> 00:08:43,522 Because you've waited a long time, and I wouldn't want to disappoint you.
- 00:08:43,689 --> 00:08:45,565 But I have nothing to compare it to.
- 00:08:45,733 --> 00:08:48,401 So even if you were horrible, how would I know?
- 00:08:49,862 --> 00:08:51,821 I do like that.
- 00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:55,200 It's harder for me. I have four women to compete with.
- 00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:57,702 Well, if it helps, there were only three.
- 00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:01,248 So it'd just be for tonight?
- 00:09:01,415 --> 00:09:04,793 Absolutely. It would just be one friend helping out another friend.
- 00:09:04,961 --> 00:09:07,420 Stop it. We're not doing this.
- 00:09:07,588 --> 00:09:08,880 - Let's do it! - No!
- 00:09:09,048 --> 00:09:11,091 - Okay! - Okay!
- 00:09:12,260 --> 00:09:13,593 So, um...
- 00:09:13,761 --> 00:09:15,929 Do you have any, uh, moves?
- 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:21,184 I have some moves.
- 00:09:22,270 --> 00:09:24,396 - I have no moves. - Okay.
- 00:09:26,023 --> 00:09:28,191 Oh, okay, what you doing there?
- 00:09:28,985 --> 00:09:32,070 - I'm sorry, this is just too weird. - Yeah, forget it.
- 00:09:32,863 --> 00:09:34,864 - What if I turn out the lights? - Okay.
- 00:09:39,996 --> 00:09:41,538 CHANDLER: Oh, yeah.
- 00:09:42,498 --> 00:09:45,083 MONICA: Chandler? CHANDLER: Yeah?
- 00:09:46,210 --> 00:09:48,169 MONICA: That's the couch.
- 00:09:52,675 --> 00:09:55,176 Oh, my God!
- 00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:58,096 I know!
- 00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:00,640 I'll tell you something.
- 00:10:00,808 --> 00:10:03,768 We are gonna do that again!
- 00:10:04,979 --> 00:10:07,397 - Oh, okay! - Ah!
- 00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:18,992 Morning.
- 00:10:20,369 --> 00:10:22,954 - Oh, right. - Yeah.
- 00:10:23,122 --> 00:10:25,624 Oh, God.
- 00:10:25,791 --> 00:10:30,629 Oh, I can't believe Joey Tribbiani heard me throw up.
- 00:10:30,963 --> 00:10:33,506 He actually saw you a little bit too.
- 00:10:33,674 --> 00:10:34,966 No.
- 00:10:36,427 --> 00:10:38,637 Oh, God, we... We didn't, uh?
- 00:10:38,804 --> 00:10:40,639 No. No, no.
- 00:10:40,806 --> 00:10:43,183 Not after seeing that.
- 00:10:44,393 --> 00:10:47,145 God, I'm just a horrible person.
- 00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:49,981 - Well, why? - Because I'm married.
- 00:10:50,149 --> 00:10:52,025 That's right, I'm a married woman.
- 00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:55,612 I came to a TV star's apartment to have an affair. Ugh!
- 00:10:56,572 --> 00:10:58,406 That's ridiculous.
- 00:10:58,574 --> 00:11:01,451 I'm not a "star."
- 00:11:01,619 --> 00:11:05,121 I'm just a regular famous actor.
- 00:11:05,998 --> 00:11:09,334 And I'm a horrible, horrible person.
- 00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:12,170 Rachel, will you stop saying that?
- 00:11:12,338 --> 00:11:13,588 Hey. Hey, look.
- 00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:17,717 Remember on the show when Capri was dying?
- 00:11:17,885 --> 00:11:20,303 - And she gave me... - The ring from the cave. Yeah.
- 00:11:20,471 --> 00:11:21,596 Wow.
- 00:11:21,764 --> 00:11:23,473 Uh, okay, well...
- 00:11:23,641 --> 00:11:25,183 Uh...
- 00:11:27,186 --> 00:11:28,228 [GASPS]
- 00:11:28,396 --> 00:11:31,189 Oh, my God! They let you keep that stuff?
- 00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:35,485 Sure. As long as they don't find out, you can keep whatever you want.
- 00:11:36,112 --> 00:11:37,570 And I want you to have it.
- 00:11:37,738 --> 00:11:39,489 - No, I couldn't. - Yes. Yes.
- 00:11:39,657 --> 00:11:41,366 And every time you look at it...
- 00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:45,161 ...I want you to remember that you are a good person.
- 00:11:45,329 --> 00:11:47,539 Now, you had the chance to cheat...
- 00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:50,166 ...and with me.
- 00:11:51,585 --> 00:11:55,714 But you didn't. And that's what this ring stands for.
- 00:11:56,424 --> 00:11:59,801 But I thought that ring stood for Capri's undying love for her brother.
- 00:11:59,969 --> 00:12:02,262 - Look, you want the ring or not? - Yeah!
- 00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:09,769 ROSS: Hey, look at you! You're up!
- 00:12:09,937 --> 00:12:12,272 JOEY: All right. - I thought I'd try to take a walk.
- 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:14,482 You pour me some water. I'll be back soon.
- 00:12:14,650 --> 00:12:17,402 Whoa, whoa. You're not gonna call work, are you?
- 00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:19,529 No. I've learned my lesson.
- 00:12:24,034 --> 00:12:26,327 Let's go. Come on. Move it.
- 00:12:26,495 --> 00:12:28,079 Phoebe, come on!
- 00:12:28,247 --> 00:12:31,958 Shoes, briefcase. Thanks, Lou. Good luck with the gallbladder.
- 00:12:38,466 --> 00:12:40,341 Hey, Joe...
- 00:12:40,509 --> 00:12:42,427 ...did you ever have a threesome?
- 00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:45,889 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:12:46,056 --> 00:12:49,601 Look, Ross. Carol's great, and I'm sure you're a very attractive man, but...
- 00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,060 No, I...
- 00:12:52,104 --> 00:12:54,773 No. The reason I'm asking is that...
- 00:12:55,733 --> 00:12:57,317 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:12:57,485 --> 00:12:59,611 ...I sort of had one last night.
- 00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:01,196 - You? - Yeah.
- 00:13:01,363 --> 00:13:03,239 - Wow. All right. - Yeah.
- 00:13:03,407 --> 00:13:05,366 So? Was it amazing?
- 00:13:05,534 --> 00:13:07,035 It was, heh...
- 00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:08,536 ...okay.
- 00:13:09,955 --> 00:13:12,415 Just okay? Did you do it right?
- 00:13:13,334 --> 00:13:17,712 Look, it's just, did you ever go to a party and think:
- 00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:21,925 "Would anyone really miss me if I weren't here?"
- 00:13:23,302 --> 00:13:25,136 Huh.
- 00:13:25,304 --> 00:13:27,555 But still, Ross.
- 00:13:27,723 --> 00:13:31,434 Your worst day with two women, pretty much better than any other day.
- 00:13:31,602 --> 00:13:33,269 Oh, oh, no, absolutely.
- 00:13:33,437 --> 00:13:34,687 [BOTH LAUGHING]
- 00:13:34,855 --> 00:13:36,815 - Yeah. - Yeah.
- 00:13:38,776 --> 00:13:39,943 It's just...
- 00:13:40,402 --> 00:13:43,738 ...my part seemed to be over pretty quickly...
- 00:13:43,906 --> 00:13:46,449 ...and then there was a lot of waiting around.
- 00:13:47,493 --> 00:13:48,618 Oh.
- 00:13:48,786 --> 00:13:50,954 But you got to be with both of them, right?
- 00:13:52,122 --> 00:13:53,915 Not really.
- 00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:57,210 Eh, just Carol.
- 00:13:57,378 --> 00:14:00,463 - Not the other one? - No, she kept kicking me away.
- 00:14:01,257 --> 00:14:02,632 - You don't want that. - No.
- 00:14:04,385 --> 00:14:06,511 Hey, at least you got to see a lot of stuff.
- 00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:10,181 Oh, I saw a lot of stuff.
- 00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:13,977 - You get a little bored? - A little.
- 00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:17,146 - Yeah. Made a snack. - Yeah?
- 00:14:18,649 --> 00:14:21,568 - What'd you have? - Just a sandwich.
- 00:14:22,319 --> 00:14:24,821 Turkey. A little mustard.
- 00:14:24,989 --> 00:14:27,031 - Sounds good. - It really was.
- 00:14:31,328 --> 00:14:32,912 - Hey. - Hey.
- 00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:37,166 Let me tell you about this chick I scored with last night.
- 00:14:38,002 --> 00:14:41,379 - Oh, no, wait a minute, that was you. - Heh.
- 00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:44,716 Hey, check me out. I'm a slut!
- 00:14:47,386 --> 00:14:49,262 So you, uh, want to do something tonight?
- 00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:51,764 Oh, I can't. Dr. Roger's coming over again.
- 00:14:53,434 --> 00:14:55,643 Oh. Oh, right.
- 00:14:55,811 --> 00:14:59,230 Right. Because you're still seeing him, and, uh, he's a good guy.
- 00:14:59,398 --> 00:15:00,523 I remember a time...
- 00:15:00,691 --> 00:15:02,609 [SNORES]
- 00:15:03,444 --> 00:15:06,321 - Are you okay? - Yeah, totally.
- 00:15:06,488 --> 00:15:07,488 Totally. Are you?
- 00:15:07,656 --> 00:15:09,574 Great. It's so amazing.
- 00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:13,077 Last time Dr. Roger came over, I was so nervous.
- 00:15:13,245 --> 00:15:17,457 But after being with you, I'm like, "Can the doctor see me now?"
- 00:15:17,958 --> 00:15:19,375 I'll bet he can.
- 00:15:19,543 --> 00:15:23,212 "I don't have an appointment, but I sure could use a physical." Ha, ha.
- 00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:25,965 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:15:27,551 --> 00:15:31,137 - You sure you're okay? - Don't worry about me, I'll be fine.
- 00:15:31,305 --> 00:15:33,389 [YELLS]
- 00:15:40,105 --> 00:15:41,522 Aah!
- 00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:44,567 My God! Barry!
- 00:15:44,735 --> 00:15:47,987 - You said you'd be away all weekend! - Oh!
- 00:15:48,155 --> 00:15:51,115 That's right, I'm sorry. I am early!
- 00:15:51,283 --> 00:15:54,243 Finish, please!
- 00:15:59,083 --> 00:16:02,627 Surprise, look who's back.
- 00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:04,462 - Hey, Pheebs. - Hey.
- 00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:06,339 Call security.
- 00:16:06,507 --> 00:16:09,300 Pheebs, uh, didn't you get fired?
- 00:16:09,468 --> 00:16:10,969 Heh, I don't think so.
- 00:16:11,136 --> 00:16:14,889 - Phoebe? - Jack! Hey. Ha, ha.
- 00:16:15,057 --> 00:16:17,725 - What are you doing here? - All better. Back to work.
- 00:16:17,893 --> 00:16:20,103 This clown from research told me I was fired.
- 00:16:20,270 --> 00:16:22,480 He should do his research, huh? Ha-ha-ha.
- 00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:25,692 Well, you were fired.
- 00:16:26,652 --> 00:16:28,194 Nuh-uh.
- 00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:30,488 I told that guy who answered your phone.
- 00:16:30,656 --> 00:16:33,908 Oh, okay. I didn't get that message. So this doesn't count.
- 00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:36,244 - Anyway, I'll be in my office. - Ah, heh.
- 00:16:36,412 --> 00:16:38,746 Phoebe, you don't have an office.
- 00:16:39,498 --> 00:16:41,249 All right, I'll work right here.
- 00:16:41,417 --> 00:16:43,835 This is good. Next to this plant.
- 00:16:45,045 --> 00:16:47,755 - Phoebe, let's... - You're in my office.
- 00:16:48,924 --> 00:16:53,386 Look, I've made a lot of cash for this company. I am talking big bucks!
- 00:16:53,554 --> 00:16:57,181 Pesos! Yen! Rubles! You make one little mistake...
- 00:16:57,349 --> 00:16:59,308 You lost 13 million dollars.
- 00:16:59,476 --> 00:17:01,394 So now this is all about money?
- 00:17:02,479 --> 00:17:04,981 You know, it's bad enough that... Ow!
- 00:17:05,149 --> 00:17:07,316 Oh, you have got to be kidding.
- 00:17:07,985 --> 00:17:10,820 - Are you all right? - I'm having another heart attack.
- 00:17:10,988 --> 00:17:13,990 - What? - I'm having another heart attack!
- 00:17:14,158 --> 00:17:16,617 Call 911!
- 00:17:16,785 --> 00:17:18,578 Dumb-ass!
- 00:17:20,789 --> 00:17:22,373 Pheebs, how's it going?
- 00:17:22,541 --> 00:17:25,043 They fired me, and I'm having a heart attack.
- 00:17:25,210 --> 00:17:27,503 - Well, welcome back. - Yeah.
- 00:17:31,467 --> 00:17:32,717 - Hi, Ross. - Hi, Rachel.
- 00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:35,678 - Is Joey Tribbiani here? - Um, no.
- 00:17:35,846 --> 00:17:39,348 If you see him, please tell him that I'm looking for him...
- 00:17:39,516 --> 00:17:43,478 ...and that this time I am not gonna throw up!
- 00:17:44,813 --> 00:17:47,482 - Are you okay? - Me? I'm great!
- 00:17:47,649 --> 00:17:50,318 I'm fine! I'm so good.
- 00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:53,154 But you know who's not great?
- 00:17:53,322 --> 00:17:54,530 Men!
- 00:17:54,698 --> 00:17:56,240 - You're a man, right, Ross? - Yeah.
- 00:17:56,408 --> 00:17:58,159 - Sit down. - Okay.
- 00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:01,370 Let me, uh, ask you something.
- 00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:05,792 Do wedding vows mean squat to you people?
- 00:18:07,503 --> 00:18:10,254 Why is it that the second we go out of town...
- 00:18:10,422 --> 00:18:14,008 ...bam, there you are in bed with the neighbor's dog-walker?
- 00:18:17,679 --> 00:18:19,305 We're sorry.
- 00:18:20,307 --> 00:18:25,269 No, seriously. Seriously. What has happened to the sanctity of marriage?
- 00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:30,399 - Didn't you spend last night at Joey's? - Oh, what are you, a detective?
- 00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:35,613 I don't know what's going on with you and your husband...
- 00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:38,407 ...and what is hopefully an adult dog-walker.
- 00:18:40,619 --> 00:18:43,371 Look, can I just say, not all men are like that.
- 00:18:43,539 --> 00:18:45,039 - Ugh. - Hey, there are some men...
- 00:18:45,207 --> 00:18:47,750 ...who'll do whatever to make their marriage work.
- 00:18:47,918 --> 00:18:50,461 There are some men who will stand by and watch...
- 00:18:50,671 --> 00:18:55,258 ...as their wives engage in what can only be described as a "twosome"...
- 00:18:55,509 --> 00:18:58,928 ...with some woman she barely knows from the gym!
- 00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:02,140 Who are these men?
- 00:19:02,307 --> 00:19:04,725 Just men. A guy I know.
- 00:19:04,893 --> 00:19:08,729 Well, you might want to tell him it sounds like his wife...
- 00:19:08,897 --> 00:19:11,065 ...is gay.
- 00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:12,984 She is not...
- 00:19:17,781 --> 00:19:19,532 She's gay.
- 00:19:22,411 --> 00:19:23,870 Oh, my God.
- 00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:27,957 She is so gay!
- 00:19:31,712 --> 00:19:33,963 I can't believe this.
- 00:19:34,464 --> 00:19:37,049 Good day for married people, huh?
- 00:19:39,595 --> 00:19:41,888 I'm sorry your husband cheated on you.
- 00:19:42,055 --> 00:19:44,599 I'm sorry your wife is gay.
- 00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:50,563 - I guess women aren't that great either. - Try telling my wife that.
- 00:19:56,653 --> 00:20:00,156 - Okay to come in? - Yeah, come in, eat, whatever you want.
- 00:20:00,324 --> 00:20:02,366 Dr. Roger got beeped again.
- 00:20:02,534 --> 00:20:04,994 Yeah, I know. Guess who beeped him?
- 00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:10,291 - What? - I'm the ruptured spleen. Ha, ha!
- 00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:15,504 - Why would you do that? - Because you shouldn't be with him.
- 00:20:19,134 --> 00:20:20,676 You should be with me.
- 00:20:23,180 --> 00:20:25,306 - Really? - When you were talking about Roger...
- 00:20:25,474 --> 00:20:27,892 ...that was killing me. Look.
- 00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:30,394 Things like last night don't just happen.
- 00:20:30,562 --> 00:20:34,732 At least not to me. I mean, with the other two women...
- 00:20:36,944 --> 00:20:40,863 ...in the morning, I couldn't wait to just go hang out with my friends.
- 00:20:41,031 --> 00:20:43,407 But with you...
- 00:20:44,618 --> 00:20:48,287 ...heh, I was, you know, already with a friend.
- 00:20:49,122 --> 00:20:52,708 - Chandler. - You probably don't want to go out with me.
- 00:20:52,876 --> 00:20:56,587 I make too many jokes, I've never been in a serious relationship...
- 00:20:56,755 --> 00:20:59,423 ...and I guess I'm not technically a "doctor."
- 00:21:07,683 --> 00:21:09,892 There was just one woman, wasn't there?
- 00:21:10,769 --> 00:21:12,270 No, there were two.
- 00:21:12,521 --> 00:21:14,355 - Including me? - Oh, yeah.
- 00:21:20,112 --> 00:21:25,074 [SINGING] It only takes two heart attacks To finally make you see
- 00:21:25,242 --> 00:21:30,329 One of them won't do it But the second will set you free
- 00:21:32,874 --> 00:21:37,586 Tell all your hate and anger It's time to say goodbye
- 00:21:37,754 --> 00:21:40,214 And that is just what I will do
- 00:21:40,382 --> 00:21:43,175 Soon as those bastards I worked for die
- 00:21:46,346 --> 00:21:50,558 La, la-la la, la la la la la la La la la, la la la-la-la la
- 00:21:52,602 --> 00:21:54,603 [English - US - SDH]
Скриншоты


























