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Эпизод, в котором Чендлер не может плакать
The One Where Chandler Can't Cry
Сезон: 06Серия: 14
Описание
Чендлер утверждает, что его мало что может заставить плакать, в результате чего друзья пытаются всеми силами сломить его. Мужчина просит у Фиби автограф, а затем говорит Джоуи, что она порнозвезда. Фиби обнаруживает, что Урсула снимается в порнофильмах под её именем. Фиби мстит ей, отправляя чеки Урсулы на свой адрес. Росс и Джилл начинают встречаться, хотя вскоре становится ясно, что мотив Джилл — лишь месть Рэйчел.
Субтитры
- 00:00:04,754 --> 00:00:09,883 Oh. Uh, hey, Rach. I was just coming over here to, uh...
- 00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:13,971 Oh, wait, I don't have to lie to you, you don't live here anymore.
- 00:00:14,139 --> 00:00:16,640 I'm eating their food. What are you doing?
- 00:00:16,808 --> 00:00:19,226 Ross is on a date with my sister.
- 00:00:19,394 --> 00:00:21,645 They shut the drapes two and a half hours ago.
- 00:00:21,813 --> 00:00:24,690 Whoa, I didn't know we could date your sister.
- 00:00:28,319 --> 00:00:30,237 Joey, we know you steal our food.
- 00:00:31,614 --> 00:00:33,115 I'm good.
- 00:00:33,616 --> 00:00:35,159 MONICA: Oh, are the drapes still closed?
- 00:00:35,326 --> 00:00:38,996 Yeah. Who should've shut their drapes is that perverted couple two doors over.
- 00:00:39,164 --> 00:00:41,707 - Is that a swing? - Oh, don't even ask.
- 00:00:41,916 --> 00:00:43,375 Yuck.
- 00:00:45,545 --> 00:00:48,047 I can't believe Ross is going out with Rachel's sister.
- 00:00:48,214 --> 00:00:51,925 When Chandler made out with my sister, I was mad at him for 10 years.
- 00:00:52,093 --> 00:00:55,095 - That was like five years ago. - Yeah, you got five years left.
- 00:00:55,847 --> 00:00:57,306 - Joey... - You wanna make it six?
- 00:01:39,891 --> 00:01:42,017 Oh, Ross, hey. Hi, how are you? There you are.
- 00:01:42,185 --> 00:01:43,602 Hey.
- 00:01:44,395 --> 00:01:46,396 RACHEL: Can I get a cup of coffee?
- 00:01:47,565 --> 00:01:50,359 So how was your big date last night?
- 00:01:51,486 --> 00:01:53,987 Uh, it was okay. Yeah, it was fun.
- 00:01:54,155 --> 00:01:55,197 - It was fun? ROSS: Yeah.
- 00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:56,740 Great.
- 00:01:58,368 --> 00:02:01,745 So, uh... So did you guys hit it off?
- 00:02:03,748 --> 00:02:06,834 - I guess so. - So, uh... So did anything happen?
- 00:02:07,001 --> 00:02:09,920 Because rumor has it you guys shut the drapes. Heh.
- 00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:13,006 No, no, nothing happened.
- 00:02:13,174 --> 00:02:16,635 I shut the drapes to show her slides of my favorite fossils.
- 00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:22,474 Oh, slides. Ha, ha.
- 00:02:22,642 --> 00:02:25,060 So really nothing happened.
- 00:02:25,770 --> 00:02:29,565 Something could've happened, all right? She really dug my slides.
- 00:02:29,732 --> 00:02:33,819 RACHEL: Mm. - And she was definitely giving me the vibe.
- 00:02:34,028 --> 00:02:38,615 Was it the "Please don't show me another picture of a trilobite" vibe?
- 00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:41,076 Anyway...
- 00:02:41,244 --> 00:02:44,329 If she wasn't into me, why would she ask me out again?
- 00:02:44,497 --> 00:02:47,040 - She asked you out again? - Yeah, uh-huh.
- 00:02:47,208 --> 00:02:48,250 [RACHEL CLEARS THROAT]
- 00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:49,459 - Tomorrow night. - Hmm.
- 00:02:49,627 --> 00:02:53,422 ROSS: Valentine's Day. The most romantic day of the year.
- 00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:55,549 Who knows what could happen?
- 00:02:55,717 --> 00:02:59,178 I might not be shutting my drapes to show her my slides, if you know what...
- 00:02:59,345 --> 00:03:01,054 Okay, okay, okay, I got it, I got it.
- 00:03:01,222 --> 00:03:03,724 I can't... I can't go with the you-and-my-sister thing.
- 00:03:03,892 --> 00:03:06,351 I just can't. It's just too weird, all right?
- 00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:08,687 I imagine the two of you together, I freak out.
- 00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:12,774 - It just freaks me out, and I can't do it. ROSS: Okay, okay, okay. No... Yes. It's okay.
- 00:03:14,402 --> 00:03:16,153 It's okay.
- 00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:20,365 Hey, it's too weird for you. I won't see her again.
- 00:03:20,533 --> 00:03:23,118 - Thank you. I... Yeah. - I mean, after tomorrow night.
- 00:03:23,286 --> 00:03:26,288 No, no, no. Please, Ross. I can't do it. It's gonna freak me out.
- 00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:28,415 ROSS: Okay, okay, okay.
- 00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:33,754 Okay. I'll tell her tonight I can't see her anymore.
- 00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:35,964 Ross, thanks.
- 00:03:37,008 --> 00:03:41,929 - You want me to call her right now? - Oh, no. No, no, no.
- 00:03:42,096 --> 00:03:44,806 I mean, come on, that's craz... I mean, that's crazy.
- 00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:49,645 So, what's going on with you? What is going on with you?
- 00:03:50,188 --> 00:03:52,147 Well, um... Oh.
- 00:03:52,315 --> 00:03:56,151 - I may teach another class this semester. - Yeah, do it now. Call her right now.
- 00:04:00,615 --> 00:04:01,657 [MONICA SOBS]
- 00:04:01,824 --> 00:04:03,575 - This is my favorite part. - Yeah, me too.
- 00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:09,581 Oh, you know what's sadder than this? Bambi.
- 00:04:09,749 --> 00:04:13,126 I cried for three days with that movie. No, wait, two.
- 00:04:13,294 --> 00:04:17,589 Because on the third day, my mother killed herself, so I was partly crying for that.
- 00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:23,595 Well, see, now, that I can see crying over, but Bambi is a cartoon.
- 00:04:23,763 --> 00:04:25,555 You didn't cry when Bambi's mother died?
- 00:04:25,723 --> 00:04:29,893 Yes, it was very sad when the guy stopped drawing the deer.
- 00:04:32,021 --> 00:04:35,816 There's nothing wrong with crying. You don't have to be so macho all the time.
- 00:04:36,025 --> 00:04:37,818 I'm not macho.
- 00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:39,903 Yeah, you're right.
- 00:04:40,655 --> 00:04:42,698 I don't know what I was thinking.
- 00:04:42,865 --> 00:04:46,785 I guess I just never really cried, you know? I'm not a crying kind of guy.
- 00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:49,955 Come on, man, there's gotta be something that gets you choked up.
- 00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:51,957 Like, uh...
- 00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:54,501 What if you saw a three-legged puppy?
- 00:04:56,045 --> 00:05:00,090 I'd be sad, sure, but I wouldn't cry.
- 00:05:00,258 --> 00:05:04,136 Okay, what if the puppy said, "Help me, Chandler.
- 00:05:05,805 --> 00:05:08,724 All the other puppies pick on me."
- 00:05:09,642 --> 00:05:12,978 Cry? I just found a talking puppy. I'm rich.
- 00:05:14,355 --> 00:05:19,609 Oh. I've got it. I have got it. Pictures from your childhood.
- 00:05:19,777 --> 00:05:22,279 This will get you going good.
- 00:05:23,531 --> 00:05:27,242 - All right, what's going on there? - Oh, that's Parents' Day, first grade.
- 00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:31,330 That's me with the janitor, Martin.
- 00:05:31,497 --> 00:05:34,333 - Where are your parents? - Oh, they didn't wanna come.
- 00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:36,418 - Oh, Chandler. MONICA: You poor thing.
- 00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:38,670 So that story doesn't make you cry?
- 00:05:38,838 --> 00:05:42,174 No. Look, I don't cry. It's not a big deal, okay?
- 00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:46,678 No. It's not okay. It's not okay at all.
- 00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:49,264 You're dead inside.
- 00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:55,562 - Excuse me. PHOEBE: Yeah?
- 00:05:55,730 --> 00:05:57,981 - Are you Phoebe Buffay? - Yeah.
- 00:05:58,816 --> 00:06:01,693 Can I get your autograph? I'm your biggest fan.
- 00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:05,655 Oh, you're my biggest fan? I've always wanted to meet you. Hi. Ha, ha.
- 00:06:05,823 --> 00:06:07,741 - Sure, yeah. - Wow.
- 00:06:07,909 --> 00:06:09,201 Wow, thanks a lot.
- 00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:12,496 I just wanna say I think you're really talented.
- 00:06:12,663 --> 00:06:15,332 You're just saying that because you're my biggest fan.
- 00:06:16,959 --> 00:06:19,795 Joey, listen, take good care of that guy. He's a fan.
- 00:06:22,131 --> 00:06:23,882 Bye.
- 00:06:25,593 --> 00:06:29,304 So you saw me on Days of Our Lives, huh?
- 00:06:29,472 --> 00:06:33,642 You want me to do a little Dr. Drake Ramoray for you?
- 00:06:37,021 --> 00:06:39,481 I have no idea what you're talking about.
- 00:06:39,649 --> 00:06:42,275 But I just got Phoebe Buffay's autograph.
- 00:06:42,443 --> 00:06:47,572 - Oh. You're Phoebe's fan. - Oh, yeah. I've seen all her movies.
- 00:06:49,283 --> 00:06:53,495 - Movies? - That was Phoebe Buffay, the porn star.
- 00:06:57,083 --> 00:06:58,750 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:01,211 - I don't think so. - No, no, it was.
- 00:07:01,379 --> 00:07:04,756 She was in Sex Toy Story 2...
- 00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:07,008 ...Lawrence of a Labia.
- 00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:10,637 And I got her autograph.
- 00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:13,640 The guys at the comic-book store aren't gonna believe this.
- 00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:18,270 Gunther.
- 00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:22,524 Hey, don't let that guy in here anymore. He just said Phoebe's a porn star.
- 00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:27,279 Well, I wouldn't call her a star, but she's really good.
- 00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:30,240 You should check out Inspect Her Gadget.
- 00:07:35,371 --> 00:07:36,746 - Hey. - Hey.
- 00:07:36,914 --> 00:07:38,748 You'll never believe what just happened.
- 00:07:38,916 --> 00:07:41,334 Ross totally blew me off and didn't even tell me why.
- 00:07:41,544 --> 00:07:44,296 Oh, well. You know what, honey?
- 00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:48,091 The best thing to do to get over a guy is to start dating someone else.
- 00:07:48,259 --> 00:07:52,596 Oh. Oh, there is this great guy you will just love at work named Bob.
- 00:07:52,763 --> 00:07:55,807 He's a real up-and-comer in Human Resources.
- 00:07:56,601 --> 00:08:00,604 Thanks, but I'm not gonna date some random guy from your work.
- 00:08:00,771 --> 00:08:03,064 Not random. Bob.
- 00:08:03,941 --> 00:08:07,986 It's probably because I'm not mature enough or smart enough.
- 00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:09,946 Maybe he doesn't like the way I dress.
- 00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:14,242 Pfft. No, that can't be it. It's really gotta be the smart thing. Ugh.
- 00:08:15,036 --> 00:08:16,328 I'm so stupid.
- 00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:19,748 I'm just this, like, incredibly pretty, stupid girl.
- 00:08:20,791 --> 00:08:22,042 No, honey.
- 00:08:23,211 --> 00:08:24,461 Okay.
- 00:08:24,629 --> 00:08:28,173 Okay. You wanna know why Ross canceled the date?
- 00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:30,175 Because I asked him to.
- 00:08:30,801 --> 00:08:32,677 - You asked him to? RACHEL: Mm-hm.
- 00:08:32,845 --> 00:08:35,555 - Why? - Because you are my sister...
- 00:08:35,723 --> 00:08:38,433 ...and Ross and I have this huge history.
- 00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:41,436 - You wanna go out with Ross? - No.
- 00:08:41,604 --> 00:08:44,648 You don't want him, but you don't want me to have him?
- 00:08:44,815 --> 00:08:47,609 - You know, Bob in Human Resources... - Ugh.
- 00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:51,029 I cannot believe you did this to me. You had me doubting how smart I was.
- 00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:52,239 [GASPS]
- 00:08:52,406 --> 00:08:54,824 You had me doubting my fashion sense.
- 00:08:54,992 --> 00:08:57,327 This is not that big a deal. Just don't date Ross.
- 00:08:57,495 --> 00:09:01,706 - There's a million other guys out there. - You have no right to tell me what to do.
- 00:09:01,874 --> 00:09:05,627 I'm not telling you what to do. I am telling you what not to do.
- 00:09:06,754 --> 00:09:10,840 - Why are you always so jealous of me? - This is not about me being jealous of you.
- 00:09:11,008 --> 00:09:14,177 This is about you being a brat, wanting what you can't have.
- 00:09:14,345 --> 00:09:15,720 Can't have?
- 00:09:15,888 --> 00:09:18,974 Excuse me, the only thing I can't have is dairy.
- 00:09:21,519 --> 00:09:24,437 RACHEL: All right, all right. You just blew your chances at dating Bob.
- 00:09:24,605 --> 00:09:26,565 - Who? - In Human Resources!
- 00:09:29,235 --> 00:09:30,277 I am jealous of her?
- 00:09:30,444 --> 00:09:33,863 I mean, who does she think she is, Princess Caroline?
- 00:09:34,031 --> 00:09:38,159 - You're jealous of Princess Caroline? - Do I have my own castle?
- 00:09:39,954 --> 00:09:42,706 Hey. Phoebe's not here, is she?
- 00:09:42,873 --> 00:09:45,417 - No. - Oh, great, did you get a movie?
- 00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:52,048 Uh...
- 00:09:52,216 --> 00:09:53,425 Yeah. Yeah.
- 00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:57,053 But, uh, I don't think it's the kind you're gonna like.
- 00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:02,642 You didn't get more that are gonna have us reaching for the tissues all night, did you?
- 00:10:08,232 --> 00:10:10,317 Sort of.
- 00:10:11,402 --> 00:10:12,611 Guys, what's going on?
- 00:10:12,862 --> 00:10:13,903 [JOEY SIGHS]
- 00:10:14,655 --> 00:10:17,324 Phoebe's a porn star.
- 00:10:17,491 --> 00:10:18,867 RACHEL & CHANDLER: What? JOEY: Yeah.
- 00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:21,453 RACHEL: What are you talking about? - Where?
- 00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:26,207 "Phoebe Buffay in Buffay the Vampire Layer."
- 00:10:27,251 --> 00:10:30,670 - Oh, my God. Ha, ha. - That's Phoebe. Where did you get that?
- 00:10:30,838 --> 00:10:33,214 Down at the adult video place on Bleecker.
- 00:10:33,382 --> 00:10:38,136 And I saw Joey was about to go in, so I ran in ahead of him...
- 00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:40,388 ...to surprise him.
- 00:10:40,556 --> 00:10:46,227 And then... Ha, ha. Then I pretended that I didn't know he was in there.
- 00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:52,442 Wow. I mean, I just can't... I can't believe this.
- 00:10:52,610 --> 00:10:54,986 You know? I mean, you think you know someone.
- 00:10:55,154 --> 00:10:57,530 Even Phoebe, who's always been somewhat of a question mark.
- 00:10:57,698 --> 00:10:59,199 Hmm.
- 00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:01,910 This is so bizarre.
- 00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:05,580 I guess it kind of makes sense, though. She had such a terrible childhood.
- 00:11:05,748 --> 00:11:08,958 Hey, I had a terrible childhood and I don't do porn.
- 00:11:09,543 --> 00:11:11,294 - Yes, but you're dead inside. - Ah.
- 00:11:12,171 --> 00:11:15,340 - All right, well, I'd better take that back. - What? Why? Why?
- 00:11:15,549 --> 00:11:17,676 We can't watch that. I mean, that's Phoebe.
- 00:11:18,803 --> 00:11:23,181 - You're right. We shouldn't watch this. - Absolutely not. That goes back.
- 00:11:23,641 --> 00:11:26,726 - But, you know, maybe a little bit. - How about just the first half?
- 00:11:26,894 --> 00:11:29,896 Hey, no, this is wrong, you guys. Phoebe's our friend.
- 00:11:30,064 --> 00:11:32,524 - I'm not gonna watch it. - Yeah.
- 00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,359 - Good for you, Joe. - Yeah.
- 00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:41,533 [SULTRY MUSIC PLAYING ON TV]
- 00:11:47,748 --> 00:11:51,584 Ah. I thought I'd find you here, Nosferatool.
- 00:11:53,170 --> 00:11:57,132 Buffay, are you going to plunge your stake into my dark places?
- 00:11:57,299 --> 00:12:01,302 Actually, I was kind of hoping it would be the other way around.
- 00:12:05,182 --> 00:12:09,018 - Hold on, what is that on her ankle? - Her ankle is what you're watching?
- 00:12:09,770 --> 00:12:12,647 - Well, it's hard to tell. PHOEBE [ON TV]: Ooh.
- 00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:15,483 Oh, God, if she would just stop moving.
- 00:12:15,693 --> 00:12:18,153 She's just doing her job.
- 00:12:18,362 --> 00:12:21,030 You sick bastards.
- 00:12:21,824 --> 00:12:26,119 Oh. It's a tattoo. That's weird. Phoebe doesn't...
- 00:12:26,704 --> 00:12:30,165 Wait, that's Ursula. That's not Phoebe. That is Ursula.
- 00:12:30,708 --> 00:12:34,544 Wait, wait. I can watch that. Rewind it. Rewind it.
- 00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:37,088 - Hey. URSULA [ON TV]: Oh.
- 00:12:37,256 --> 00:12:40,008 What's up? Oh, my God. What am I doing?!
- 00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:52,020 - Hey, sweetie. - Hey.
- 00:12:56,150 --> 00:12:58,526 Chicken Soup for the Soul?
- 00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:01,696 There's no back to this couch.
- 00:13:03,532 --> 00:13:06,034 Why are you reading this? You hate this kind of stuff.
- 00:13:06,202 --> 00:13:07,786 I figured I'd give it a shot.
- 00:13:07,953 --> 00:13:09,996 Maybe one of those stories would make me cry.
- 00:13:10,164 --> 00:13:12,582 Then you wouldn't think I was all dead inside.
- 00:13:13,209 --> 00:13:15,502 Aw, that's so sweet.
- 00:13:15,669 --> 00:13:18,046 Chandler, I don't care if you can't cry. I love you.
- 00:13:18,214 --> 00:13:22,300 Oh, that makes me feel so warm in my hollow tin chest.
- 00:13:23,010 --> 00:13:25,929 - Stop it. - I mean, come on, seriously. Think about it.
- 00:13:26,096 --> 00:13:29,516 We get married, I'm up at the altar, and I'm like this:
- 00:13:31,352 --> 00:13:32,602 I won't care.
- 00:13:32,770 --> 00:13:35,980 Because I know that you'll be feeling it all in here.
- 00:13:36,732 --> 00:13:38,149 - Yeah? - Yeah.
- 00:13:38,317 --> 00:13:40,443 And if we have a baby one day...
- 00:13:40,611 --> 00:13:43,613 ...and the doctor hands it to you in the delivery room...
- 00:13:43,781 --> 00:13:46,324 ...and you don't cry, so what?
- 00:13:47,368 --> 00:13:50,286 And if we take him to college and we come home...
- 00:13:50,454 --> 00:13:53,790 ...and we see his empty room for the first time...
- 00:13:53,958 --> 00:13:56,292 ...and you got nothing?
- 00:13:57,253 --> 00:13:59,712 Won't matter to me.
- 00:14:01,215 --> 00:14:02,674 Okay.
- 00:14:03,259 --> 00:14:06,010 Well, I won't worry about this anymore, then.
- 00:14:06,178 --> 00:14:08,471 Yeah. And, you know, if I die...
- 00:14:10,057 --> 00:14:12,433 ...from a long illness...
- 00:14:12,601 --> 00:14:14,644 ...and you're writing out my eulogy...
- 00:14:14,812 --> 00:14:18,481 ...and you open the desk drawer and find a note from me that says:
- 00:14:18,649 --> 00:14:21,860 "I will always be with you"...
- 00:14:22,027 --> 00:14:26,739 ...and you still can't shed one tiny tear...
- 00:14:27,449 --> 00:14:29,659 ...I know you'll be crying a river inside.
- 00:14:31,328 --> 00:14:34,455 - Aw, I love you, sweet... - What is wrong with you?
- 00:14:35,332 --> 00:14:36,541 - What? - What?
- 00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:39,127 You can't shed a tear for your dead wife?
- 00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:41,880 I mean, I left you a note from the beyond.
- 00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:45,049 - So you didn't mean any of that? - No, you robot!
- 00:14:48,262 --> 00:14:50,179 [DOORBELL RINGING]
- 00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:55,476 You damn kids. You ring my bell one more time, I swear to...
- 00:14:55,644 --> 00:14:58,688 Oh, uh, Jill. Um...
- 00:14:58,856 --> 00:15:01,733 That's just a little game I play with the kids down the hall.
- 00:15:03,402 --> 00:15:05,653 They've really taken a liking to me.
- 00:15:07,698 --> 00:15:09,157 What's the matter?
- 00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:12,577 Rachel and I had a really big fight. Can I come in?
- 00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:16,080 I know we're not supposed to see each other anymore. I'm okay with that.
- 00:15:16,248 --> 00:15:19,792 I don't know anybody in the city, and I need somebody to talk to about it.
- 00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:22,754 - Oh, of course. What happened? - I don't wanna talk about it.
- 00:15:26,592 --> 00:15:28,551 Okay. Um...
- 00:15:30,012 --> 00:15:32,639 - But you know what might cheer me up? - What?
- 00:15:32,806 --> 00:15:35,683 Seeing some more of your super-cool slides.
- 00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:38,937 - Wow, really? - Totally. I loved them.
- 00:15:39,104 --> 00:15:43,316 And maybe you could finish telling me about all the different kinds of sand.
- 00:15:45,694 --> 00:15:50,114 I'd love to. You wait right here. I'll go get the projector and my notes.
- 00:15:50,282 --> 00:15:52,617 Oh, great. Thanks, Ross. You're such a good friend.
- 00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:54,202 Oh.
- 00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:01,918 Hey. Have you guys seen Jill? I can't find her anywhere.
- 00:16:02,086 --> 00:16:03,503 - No, I haven't. - Is Ross home?
- 00:16:03,671 --> 00:16:06,631 Maybe I'll just call him and see if he's actually seen her.
- 00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:09,342 [GASPS]
- 00:16:15,557 --> 00:16:16,599 URSULA: Who is it?
- 00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:20,353 It's Phoebe, "Phoebe."
- 00:16:21,855 --> 00:16:24,315 - Hey. - Oh, God.
- 00:16:26,860 --> 00:16:30,446 - So you're making porn movies. - No, I'm not.
- 00:16:30,614 --> 00:16:32,865 MAN: We're still rolling.
- 00:16:33,033 --> 00:16:34,784 You're making one right now.
- 00:16:35,577 --> 00:16:38,913 MAN: Let's go, Phoebe. - And you're using my name.
- 00:16:39,123 --> 00:16:41,040 Yeah, can I help you with something?
- 00:16:42,292 --> 00:16:43,418 MAN: Phoebe, come on.
- 00:16:43,585 --> 00:16:47,755 Look, I'm talking right now. You're... You mean her. Oh.
- 00:16:47,923 --> 00:16:51,342 You know, twin stuff is always a real big seller.
- 00:16:51,510 --> 00:16:53,052 What?
- 00:16:53,262 --> 00:16:57,765 Yeah. I could talk them into giving you like $30.
- 00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:02,020 No. No way. No.
- 00:17:02,187 --> 00:17:05,440 And stop using my name. And shame on you.
- 00:17:05,607 --> 00:17:08,276 And shame on all of you. You're disgusting.
- 00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:10,611 Especially you, with that.
- 00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:16,701 Slides are almost ready.
- 00:17:17,244 --> 00:17:20,788 Yeah. Ooh, I know what this is missing.
- 00:17:20,956 --> 00:17:22,623 Alcohol.
- 00:17:24,251 --> 00:17:27,545 - Okay, well, there's wine in the kitchen. - Oh, great.
- 00:17:27,713 --> 00:17:29,881 [PHONE RINGING]
- 00:17:31,592 --> 00:17:32,633 Hello?
- 00:17:32,801 --> 00:17:37,180 What is my sister doing there, and why are the drapes shut?
- 00:17:39,433 --> 00:17:41,434 Okay. Rach, calm down, okay?
- 00:17:41,602 --> 00:17:44,604 She's really upset. We're just talking.
- 00:17:44,772 --> 00:17:48,232 I think she's trying to make something happen with you to get back at me.
- 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:51,235 Oh, so that's the only reason she could be here, huh?
- 00:17:51,403 --> 00:17:54,781 It couldn't have anything to do with the fact that I'm a good listener...
- 00:17:54,948 --> 00:17:58,201 ...and I put on a great slide show?
- 00:18:00,704 --> 00:18:06,000 Ross, I am telling you, she is using you to get back at me.
- 00:18:06,168 --> 00:18:11,005 You know, I think I can take care of myself. I'll talk to you later. Goodbye.
- 00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:13,716 Whoa.
- 00:18:14,885 --> 00:18:18,679 Uh, that was your sister, actually.
- 00:18:18,847 --> 00:18:21,182 She thinks you're just using me. Heh.
- 00:18:22,017 --> 00:18:23,726 So?
- 00:18:29,066 --> 00:18:31,150 - Hey. - Hey.
- 00:18:31,318 --> 00:18:34,529 So I just came from the company Ursula works for.
- 00:18:34,696 --> 00:18:37,323 Oh, no, not you too.
- 00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:40,368 No, no. I went to pick up Phoebe Buffay's checks.
- 00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:41,702 There were a lot of them.
- 00:18:42,704 --> 00:18:44,539 - Nice. PHOEBE: Mm-hm.
- 00:18:44,706 --> 00:18:47,208 And I won't have to go back there anymore...
- 00:18:47,376 --> 00:18:50,586 ...because I gave them my "correct address."
- 00:18:52,214 --> 00:18:56,300 That's great, but isn't it gonna bother you that people think you're a porn star?
- 00:18:56,468 --> 00:18:58,719 Oh, no, no. I know how to handle it.
- 00:18:58,887 --> 00:19:00,513 JOEY: Good. - Yeah.
- 00:19:02,182 --> 00:19:04,559 You're trying to figure out where you know me from?
- 00:19:04,726 --> 00:19:08,229 All right, I'll give you a hint. From porn. Okay?
- 00:19:08,397 --> 00:19:13,025 Yeah, your pervert boyfriend watched me in a porno movie!
- 00:19:16,613 --> 00:19:17,989 - See? - Yeah.
- 00:19:21,785 --> 00:19:23,077 Hey.
- 00:19:23,328 --> 00:19:27,790 - You, uh, may have been right about Jill. - Oh, I knew it. What happened?
- 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:32,378 - Um, she kissed me. - What? You kissed?
- 00:19:32,546 --> 00:19:35,131 - Maybe we should give them some privacy. - Shh!
- 00:19:37,050 --> 00:19:40,178 Look, I tried not to kiss her, okay?
- 00:19:40,345 --> 00:19:43,598 It doesn't sound like it. It's pretty easy not to kiss someone.
- 00:19:43,765 --> 00:19:47,185 You just don't kiss them. See? Look at us right now, not kissing.
- 00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:49,562 Let me finish, okay?
- 00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:53,941 She started kissing me, and I didn't stop it.
- 00:19:54,109 --> 00:19:55,985 I guess I just wasn't thinking.
- 00:19:56,153 --> 00:19:59,155 Yeah, that's right. I'm gonna give you something to think about.
- 00:19:59,323 --> 00:20:00,781 ROSS: Hold on.
- 00:20:00,949 --> 00:20:04,702 But then I started thinking and I stopped the kissing.
- 00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:09,832 Oh, well, thank you for taking your tongue out of my sister's mouth to tell me that.
- 00:20:13,086 --> 00:20:16,005 Look, I realized if anything were to happen with me and Jill...
- 00:20:16,173 --> 00:20:19,508 ...then nothing could ever happen with us.
- 00:20:20,802 --> 00:20:22,720 - What? - No, I mean...
- 00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:29,101 Look, I don't know if anything is ever going to happen with us again, ever.
- 00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:32,188 But I don't wanna know that it never could.
- 00:20:33,482 --> 00:20:35,650 So I stopped it...
- 00:20:36,526 --> 00:20:39,862 ...and she got mad and broke my projector.
- 00:20:46,495 --> 00:20:47,703 Wow.
- 00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:52,416 I don't even know what to say.
- 00:20:57,005 --> 00:20:58,839 Thank you.
- 00:21:00,550 --> 00:21:02,260 You're welcome.
- 00:21:03,011 --> 00:21:05,012 [CHANDLER SOBBING]
- 00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:10,851 Oh, my God, are you crying?
- 00:21:11,019 --> 00:21:14,480 I just don't see why those two can't work things out.
- 00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:22,989 All right, I'm leaving. I'm not gonna spend one more day...
- 00:21:23,156 --> 00:21:25,658 ...with someone who's out to sabotage my every move.
- 00:21:25,867 --> 00:21:27,076 That's you, Rachel.
- 00:21:28,161 --> 00:21:29,328 Yeah, I got that.
- 00:21:29,955 --> 00:21:33,082 And you. I throw myself at you, and you say no?
- 00:21:33,250 --> 00:21:34,458 How gay are you?
- 00:21:39,923 --> 00:21:42,008 You take care, Jill.
- 00:21:42,217 --> 00:21:45,052 - Okay, see you. - Bye-bye.
- 00:21:46,471 --> 00:21:48,764 [CRYING] I can't believe Jill's gone.
- 00:21:50,475 --> 00:21:51,517 [SOBBING]
- 00:21:51,685 --> 00:21:53,436 I can't help it. I opened a gate.
- 00:21:57,941 --> 00:21:59,942 [English - US - SDH]
Скриншоты
