Эпизод с Porsche Джоуи
Описание
Рэйчел заставляет Росса аннулировать брак, и в отместку за его ложь заполняет документы, указывая, что Росс гей, психически неустойчив и зависим от внутривенных наркотиков. Когда Росс оспаривает ложную информацию и раскрывает их прошлые отношения, судья (Кончата Феррелл) отказывает в аннулировании брака и постановляет, что они должны получить развод. Росс несчастен, но его настроение улучшается, когда Рэйчел признаётся, что идея выйти замуж принадлежала ей. Они на мгновение задумываются, признаваясь, что верили, что если когда-нибудь поженятся, то их брак будет долгим. Джои пытается произвести впечатление на девушек, притворяясь, что у него есть Porsche, ключи от которого владелец оставил в Central Perk. Фиби привлекает Монику и Чендлера к присмотру за тройняшками, но Моника отвозит Чендлера в отделение неотложной помощи, когда он проглатывает игрушечный пистолет, оставляя Фиби одну.
Субтитры
- 00:00:03,878 --> 00:00:07,464 Oh, I cannot believe that you didn't tell me we are still married.
- 00:00:07,632 --> 00:00:09,383 Look, I was going to tell you.
- 00:00:09,551 --> 00:00:12,177 When? After the birth of our first secret child?
- 00:00:13,930 --> 00:00:16,682 Ross didn't get the annulment. We are still married.
- 00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:18,892 MONICA: You're kidding? - Oh, my God.
- 00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:21,770 Ross.
- 00:00:21,938 --> 00:00:23,939 Okay, maybe it wasn't my best decision...
- 00:00:24,107 --> 00:00:26,233 ...but I couldn't face another failed marriage.
- 00:00:26,651 --> 00:00:27,860 Let me just jump in and ask.
- 00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:31,071 At what point did you think this was a successful marriage?
- 00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:37,369 Rach, come on. If you think about it, it's actually kind of funny.
- 00:00:39,539 --> 00:00:41,874 Okay, maybe it's best not to think about it.
- 00:00:43,126 --> 00:00:47,129 Oh, this is inexcusable. I'm shocked to my very core.
- 00:00:48,923 --> 00:00:51,050 Phoebe, I told her you already knew.
- 00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:56,889 Another lie. You have a sickness.
- 00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:00,809 Ross, just for my own peace of mind...
- 00:01:00,977 --> 00:01:03,437 ...you're not married to any more of us, are you?
- 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:44,019 Oh, hey, someone left their keys.
- 00:01:44,562 --> 00:01:47,606 Ooh, to a Porsche.
- 00:01:47,982 --> 00:01:50,609 - Hey, Gunther, are these yours? - Yeah. That's what I drive.
- 00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:55,614 I make 4 bucks an hour. I saved up for 350 years.
- 00:01:58,201 --> 00:01:59,409 Uh-uh.
- 00:02:01,746 --> 00:02:03,497 Hey, did anybody lose their keys?
- 00:02:03,665 --> 00:02:05,499 Why don't you put them in the lost and found?
- 00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:07,501 There's a lost and found?
- 00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:10,254 My shoe!
- 00:02:11,673 --> 00:02:13,423 You left a shoe here?
- 00:02:13,591 --> 00:02:15,425 Well, I didn't realize till I got home.
- 00:02:15,593 --> 00:02:18,595 I wasn't gonna walk all the way back down here with one shoe.
- 00:02:19,222 --> 00:02:22,891 I'm gonna go find that guy's car and leave a note on the windshield.
- 00:02:23,059 --> 00:02:26,728 Oh, good. When he comes back for his keys, I'll be sure to give him your shoe.
- 00:02:26,896 --> 00:02:28,355 Great. Thanks.
- 00:02:30,108 --> 00:02:32,734 Oh, good, good. You guys are here. Listen.
- 00:02:32,902 --> 00:02:34,486 How would you like to spend tomorrow...
- 00:02:34,654 --> 00:02:37,239 ...taking care of three incredibly cute little puppies?
- 00:02:37,407 --> 00:02:39,783 Oh, my God. What a fun day. That sounds great.
- 00:02:39,951 --> 00:02:41,618 Yeah, all right.
- 00:02:41,786 --> 00:02:44,204 Okay, well, I'll bring them by tomorrow morning.
- 00:02:44,372 --> 00:02:47,708 Okay, and by the way, they're not actually puppies.
- 00:02:47,876 --> 00:02:50,419 They're Frank and Alice's triplets. Okay, see you.
- 00:02:51,796 --> 00:02:52,921 Whoa, whoa, whoa. What?
- 00:02:53,298 --> 00:02:56,175 Please, please, please? Frank and Alice...
- 00:02:56,342 --> 00:02:59,928 ...asked me to babysit the triplets. I'm nervous. I've never done that by myself.
- 00:03:00,096 --> 00:03:01,847 Don't worry about it, Phoebe. We'll do it.
- 00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:05,851 Yeah, I'm gonna pass, because I was kind of iffy when it was puppies.
- 00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:10,814 Come on, Chandler. Come on, it'll give us great practice for when...
- 00:03:10,982 --> 00:03:13,358 ...people with babies come to visit.
- 00:03:18,072 --> 00:03:19,114 MAN: Nice car.
- 00:03:19,282 --> 00:03:21,491 Yeah, it's, uh... It's not mine.
- 00:03:23,453 --> 00:03:26,663 - I love your car. - Yeah. It's mine.
- 00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:31,585 - I bet it's fast. - Me too. Yeah.
- 00:03:31,753 --> 00:03:33,003 And comfortable.
- 00:03:33,171 --> 00:03:35,964 - Do you, uh, like leather seats? - Yeah.
- 00:03:36,132 --> 00:03:37,341 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:03:38,676 --> 00:03:39,760 It's got them.
- 00:03:43,932 --> 00:03:47,601 So I still have boxes here.
- 00:03:48,102 --> 00:03:50,479 I still have boxes at Ross'.
- 00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:52,648 And I have nowhere to live.
- 00:03:52,815 --> 00:03:55,525 Wow, I could so easily freak out right now.
- 00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:57,444 What about me?
- 00:03:57,612 --> 00:04:01,114 I just found out Denise is leaving town for a while. I don't have a roommate.
- 00:04:04,285 --> 00:04:08,080 Well, maybe I could be your roommate, Pheebs.
- 00:04:09,290 --> 00:04:11,541 Maybe you could be my roommate.
- 00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:14,753 - Well, there's an idea. - Yeah.
- 00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:16,213 - That would be great. - Oh.
- 00:04:16,381 --> 00:04:20,050 - Wait, how long is Denise gone for? - Um, she said she'd be back December 26th.
- 00:04:20,218 --> 00:04:22,219 Oh! December 26th.
- 00:04:22,387 --> 00:04:24,012 Heh, maybe she's Santa Claus.
- 00:04:24,180 --> 00:04:25,389 [BOTH LAUGHING]
- 00:04:30,186 --> 00:04:35,107 Oh, look who it is. My husband, the apple of my eye.
- 00:04:35,817 --> 00:04:38,860 Okay, I got us a court date for tomorrow at 2...
- 00:04:39,028 --> 00:04:41,405 ...and I picked up all the forms.
- 00:04:41,572 --> 00:04:42,948 I'll take care of everything.
- 00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:45,450 Sure, if you say you're gonna take care of everything...
- 00:04:45,618 --> 00:04:47,869 ...I have no reason to doubt you.
- 00:04:48,037 --> 00:04:49,955 Give me those forms.
- 00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:53,792 All right, now, I'm gonna do this my way, and I don't wanna hear a peep out of you.
- 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,712 - Okay, Rach, but... - Ah, you're peeping.
- 00:04:58,047 --> 00:04:59,923 [MUMBLING]
- 00:05:01,217 --> 00:05:02,718 Ross, you know what? I just got...
- 00:05:03,261 --> 00:05:05,554 - Why? Why did you do this? - Look, I told you...
- 00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:08,265 I don't wanna hear "three failed marriages."
- 00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:11,268 Look, if you'd had two failed marriages, you'd understand.
- 00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:13,645 Well, you know what? Thanks to you, I'm halfway there.
- 00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:17,149 Oh.
- 00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:21,570 Oh, I am so mad, Ross. I don't think I've ever been this angry.
- 00:05:23,072 --> 00:05:25,240 What about the time I said we were on a break?
- 00:05:25,408 --> 00:05:26,450 Oh.
- 00:05:32,957 --> 00:05:34,374 Pheebs, how's it going?
- 00:05:34,542 --> 00:05:37,627 I'm doing okay. Do you think they're having fun? Am I talking too fast?
- 00:05:37,795 --> 00:05:39,171 No. You sound like me.
- 00:05:39,881 --> 00:05:43,633 It's going great. Look at Chandler with Little Baby Girl Chandler.
- 00:05:44,385 --> 00:05:48,930 Little Baby Girl Chandler. Where have I heard that before? Oh, right, Coach Rubin.
- 00:05:54,645 --> 00:05:55,687 You know what, Pheebs?
- 00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:59,399 When you're done over there, we've got a kind of situation over here too.
- 00:06:00,234 --> 00:06:03,195 Uh-uh. No. We are all responsible for our own babies.
- 00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:06,823 See, that's where I think you're wrong. We've been playing them man-to-man.
- 00:06:06,991 --> 00:06:09,534 We should really be playing a zone defense.
- 00:06:10,119 --> 00:06:11,161 What do you mean?
- 00:06:11,329 --> 00:06:12,996 I just think things will go smoother...
- 00:06:13,164 --> 00:06:17,042 ...if we each have our own zone, you know? Phoebe, you can be in charge of wiping.
- 00:06:17,752 --> 00:06:19,669 And, Mon, you can be in charge of diapering.
- 00:06:19,837 --> 00:06:24,049 And I can be in charge of looking at how cute they are when they put their hands...
- 00:06:25,843 --> 00:06:28,595 That sounds really great, but you should be in charge of wiping.
- 00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:31,681 Okay, I'm a rookie. I should not be in the end zone.
- 00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:43,652 MONICA: Wow, this is so great.
- 00:06:43,820 --> 00:06:46,696 This is exactly how we set the plates at the restaurant.
- 00:06:47,532 --> 00:06:49,783 Yeah? Well, this is not what I ordered.
- 00:06:54,622 --> 00:06:55,747 - Hey, guys. GROUP: Hey.
- 00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:57,374 Hey, babies.
- 00:06:58,334 --> 00:06:59,543 I'm having the best morning.
- 00:06:59,710 --> 00:07:02,462 That, uh, Porsche I've got the keys to? Still there.
- 00:07:02,630 --> 00:07:06,049 Shocking, since you still have the keys.
- 00:07:07,343 --> 00:07:10,470 You should see the treatment I get when I'm with that car.
- 00:07:10,638 --> 00:07:14,141 People are friendly. They wanna talk. And not just about the car.
- 00:07:14,308 --> 00:07:16,351 One guy advised me on my equity investments.
- 00:07:16,561 --> 00:07:17,686 What equity investments?
- 00:07:17,854 --> 00:07:20,897 The ones that got me the Porsche. Will you keep up?
- 00:07:24,902 --> 00:07:27,779 I figured, if people keep seeing me just standing there...
- 00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:29,781 ...they're gonna start to think I don't own it.
- 00:07:29,949 --> 00:07:33,201 So I figure I'll wash it, right? Monica, you got a bucket and some soap?
- 00:07:33,369 --> 00:07:36,121 Oh, yeah. I got soap and sponges and rags...
- 00:07:36,289 --> 00:07:40,709 ...and carnauba wax and polishing compound.
- 00:07:41,335 --> 00:07:42,794 You don't even have a car.
- 00:07:43,212 --> 00:07:46,506 I know. But one time there was this dirty car parked in front of the building...
- 00:07:46,674 --> 00:07:48,133 ...so I washed it.
- 00:07:48,926 --> 00:07:51,553 - And? - And six others.
- 00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:53,054 There you are.
- 00:07:56,601 --> 00:08:00,103 - Yeah, she tops out at 130. - Wow.
- 00:08:00,646 --> 00:08:03,440 And that's just in the city. I get her up to 160 upstate.
- 00:08:03,608 --> 00:08:06,026 Really? You got a place upstate?
- 00:08:06,736 --> 00:08:07,861 Sure.
- 00:08:09,614 --> 00:08:12,407 - Well, I'll see you later. - Okay. Take it easy.
- 00:08:14,118 --> 00:08:16,828 Hey. That's my car.
- 00:08:17,413 --> 00:08:19,289 Really? Oh, uh...
- 00:08:19,457 --> 00:08:21,041 Just give me five more minutes.
- 00:08:22,793 --> 00:08:24,169 What are you doing?
- 00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:27,422 Well, I found the keys, and now I'm just polishing her up.
- 00:08:28,132 --> 00:08:31,134 - But it's my car. - Yeah, but it's my wax.
- 00:08:32,637 --> 00:08:35,430 Listen, I don't come to the city much.
- 00:08:35,598 --> 00:08:39,226 And I don't know if you're crazy or if this is some kind of street theater...
- 00:08:39,685 --> 00:08:41,853 ...but could I have my keys?
- 00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:45,190 Sure. Yeah. I'll save your parking spot.
- 00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:47,192 I'm not coming back.
- 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,194 - Why not? - I live upstate.
- 00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:51,321 Yeah, so did I.
- 00:08:53,741 --> 00:08:55,951 I don't know why I was so nervous about this...
- 00:08:56,118 --> 00:08:59,287 ...and I don't know why Frank and Alice are always complaining. This is easy.
- 00:08:59,455 --> 00:09:02,082 Yeah, two hours, a lifetime, that's the same.
- 00:09:04,001 --> 00:09:06,836 Check it out. Check it out. When the babies wake up...
- 00:09:07,004 --> 00:09:08,838 ...they can meet Krog.
- 00:09:11,259 --> 00:09:13,635 What are you doing? That thing could put someone's eye out.
- 00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:17,347 He can do more than that. He can destroy the universe.
- 00:09:17,765 --> 00:09:20,809 No, Chandler, they could swallow one of those little parts.
- 00:09:20,977 --> 00:09:24,813 And also, look at his smooth area. That's just gonna mess them up.
- 00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:28,525 They're not gonna swallow anything. You're too overprotective.
- 00:09:28,693 --> 00:09:32,320 When I was a kid, my mom used to just throw me into a pile of broken glass.
- 00:09:33,197 --> 00:09:36,491 - What? - Glass, sand, whatever.
- 00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:41,204 Oh, look at little Leslie stretching in her sleep.
- 00:09:41,372 --> 00:09:42,664 Oh, it's so cute.
- 00:09:42,832 --> 00:09:45,959 I wonder what age it is when you stop putting both legs behind your head.
- 00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:47,210 Oh, I can still do that.
- 00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:51,298 How are you still single?
- 00:09:53,217 --> 00:09:56,177 All right, ahem. I thought about it, and maybe you're right.
- 00:09:56,345 --> 00:09:57,887 Maybe Krog is not a safe toy.
- 00:09:58,055 --> 00:10:02,017 - Good. What made you change your mind? - I swallowed his sonic blaster gun.
- 00:10:02,810 --> 00:10:04,603 How did that happen?
- 00:10:05,146 --> 00:10:07,731 Well, I was trying to prove that I was right, you know?
- 00:10:07,898 --> 00:10:09,941 And it turns out I was wrong...
- 00:10:10,109 --> 00:10:12,360 ...and now it's lodged in my throat.
- 00:10:16,741 --> 00:10:19,743 Damn it, this whole time we were concentrating on the babies...
- 00:10:19,910 --> 00:10:22,454 ...and no one was watching Chandler.
- 00:10:23,331 --> 00:10:24,581 [GAGS]
- 00:10:25,541 --> 00:10:28,043 Okay, you two are asking the court for an annulment?
- 00:10:28,210 --> 00:10:31,338 Yes, Your Honor. And here are our forms, all filled out.
- 00:10:31,505 --> 00:10:33,506 JUDGE: So based on your petition...
- 00:10:33,674 --> 00:10:36,593 ...you are seeking an annulment on the grounds...
- 00:10:36,761 --> 00:10:39,262 ...that "Mr. Geller is mentally unstable."
- 00:10:42,433 --> 00:10:45,602 Fine. I'm mentally unstable.
- 00:10:45,770 --> 00:10:49,439 And based on the fact that "Mr. Geller is an intravenous drug user."
- 00:10:50,691 --> 00:10:53,943 - What? - Uh, yes. Heroin and crack.
- 00:10:55,946 --> 00:10:58,406 Crack isn't even an intravenous drug.
- 00:10:58,574 --> 00:11:00,075 Well, you would know.
- 00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:04,663 Now, it also says here that you:
- 00:11:04,830 --> 00:11:07,624 "Lied about your sexual preference before marriage."
- 00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:11,419 - Oh, come on. - Ross, please. I found the magazines.
- 00:11:13,297 --> 00:11:16,966 And, finally, that you were "unable to consummate the marriage."
- 00:11:17,134 --> 00:11:20,845 Well, that makes sense since you're gay and addicted to heroin.
- 00:11:22,431 --> 00:11:24,933 Okay, you know, I'm sorry, this is insane.
- 00:11:25,101 --> 00:11:29,396 I'm not addicted to heroin, I'm not gay, and there is no problem...
- 00:11:29,563 --> 00:11:31,314 ...with my ability to consummate anything.
- 00:11:31,482 --> 00:11:35,151 Look, I'll consummate this marriage right here, right now.
- 00:11:36,487 --> 00:11:38,780 That won't be necessary.
- 00:11:39,156 --> 00:11:42,826 And when we were dating, we consummated like bunnies.
- 00:11:43,452 --> 00:11:47,747 Now, if you two were involved in a serious relationship, that really creates a problem.
- 00:11:47,915 --> 00:11:51,292 Your Honor, rest assured, that relationship ended two years ago.
- 00:11:51,460 --> 00:11:54,587 And can you please strike "consummated like bunnies" from the record.
- 00:11:55,506 --> 00:11:58,800 Is there anything in this record that is actually true?
- 00:11:58,968 --> 00:12:02,262 Uh, well, yes. We got married in Vegas.
- 00:12:02,430 --> 00:12:05,306 And, uh, the names, I think.
- 00:12:05,766 --> 00:12:07,350 Well, based on what I've heard...
- 00:12:07,518 --> 00:12:09,894 ...you two certainly don't qualify for an annulment.
- 00:12:10,688 --> 00:12:13,523 If you don't wanna be together, you'll have to file for divorce.
- 00:12:13,691 --> 00:12:18,111 That's great. You happy now? Look what you did with your funny, funny form.
- 00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:22,657 What? Me? What about you and your "consummated like bunnies" nonsense?
- 00:12:22,825 --> 00:12:25,827 And what...? What are you typing that for?
- 00:12:25,995 --> 00:12:28,329 She already said we don't get the annulment.
- 00:12:28,539 --> 00:12:30,540 Don't type that. What...?
- 00:12:30,708 --> 00:12:33,251 Stop typing. Hey.
- 00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:34,753 Stop typing.
- 00:12:35,379 --> 00:12:38,006 Stop typing, "stop typing."
- 00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:42,510 Okay, okay, do you see what you're keeping me married to?
- 00:12:42,928 --> 00:12:44,429 You need to get out of my chambers.
- 00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:46,347 All right, lady, here's the deal.
- 00:12:46,515 --> 00:12:50,393 I came here for an annulment, and I'm not leaving here until I get one.
- 00:12:50,561 --> 00:12:53,521 - Would you like to spend the night in jail? - Thank you for your time.
- 00:12:58,152 --> 00:12:59,319 [GAGGING]
- 00:13:07,828 --> 00:13:09,287 [GAGS]
- 00:13:16,504 --> 00:13:18,505 That Porsche guy took his car back.
- 00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:24,469 But you found the keys to his clothes?
- 00:13:25,846 --> 00:13:27,639 No, I just, uh...
- 00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:30,350 I love the way it feels when everybody thinks I own a Porsche.
- 00:13:30,518 --> 00:13:33,019 People would think you own a Porsche because of the clothes?
- 00:13:33,187 --> 00:13:34,687 Of course.
- 00:13:35,314 --> 00:13:38,858 Only an idiot would wear this stuff if he didn't have the car.
- 00:13:41,862 --> 00:13:44,072 That is true.
- 00:13:45,032 --> 00:13:48,243 Yeah, but only a genius would swallow a sonic blaster gun.
- 00:13:48,410 --> 00:13:50,286 Oh, I've been there.
- 00:13:52,623 --> 00:13:55,750 I am gonna go drive my Porsche.
- 00:13:56,168 --> 00:13:58,461 Joey, you know you don't actually have one.
- 00:13:58,629 --> 00:14:02,799 Come on. What are you doing? I'm in character. Will you talk to her?
- 00:14:04,385 --> 00:14:06,594 Ah, I think it just moved. It's really poking me.
- 00:14:06,762 --> 00:14:08,805 That's it. We're going to the emergency room.
- 00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:12,642 What? No, you can't leave me here with them. We're babysitting.
- 00:14:12,810 --> 00:14:15,562 The babies are asleep. I'm sure you'll be okay on your own.
- 00:14:15,729 --> 00:14:18,273 But you can't leave me with them. We're a team.
- 00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:20,733 We're playing a zone. They're gonna triple-team me.
- 00:14:22,111 --> 00:14:25,446 He's got something plastic in his throat. We gotta go to the hospital.
- 00:14:25,781 --> 00:14:29,742 But, no, because a doctor won't be able to help him. And it's just gonna, you know...
- 00:14:29,910 --> 00:14:33,037 ...naturally pass through his system in, like, seven years.
- 00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:37,292 - I think that's gum. - I'm pretty sure it's gun.
- 00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:41,004 Okay, listen, this really hurts. Let's go.
- 00:14:41,171 --> 00:14:45,133 But no. A real man wouldn't just run to the hospital.
- 00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:47,969 No. What would Krog do?
- 00:14:50,514 --> 00:14:54,183 Why isn't that valet back with my Porsche?
- 00:14:55,603 --> 00:14:57,520 Maybe because you've got the keys?
- 00:15:03,110 --> 00:15:07,030 - That was totally your fault. - My fault? You threatened the judge.
- 00:15:07,197 --> 00:15:10,116 Well, you ripped the paper out of the court reporter's machine.
- 00:15:10,284 --> 00:15:12,368 That was the only way I could get him to stop typing!
- 00:15:12,536 --> 00:15:13,703 Oh.
- 00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:16,289 Hi. How are the Gellers?
- 00:15:20,002 --> 00:15:23,379 Don't call us that.
- 00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:28,051 The judge wouldn't let us get an annulment. Now we gotta get a divorce.
- 00:15:28,636 --> 00:15:31,095 Did a Porsche throw up on you?
- 00:15:34,391 --> 00:15:35,642 Hey.
- 00:15:35,809 --> 00:15:37,518 It's "Porsche."
- 00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:41,606 Me taking care of you is no problem, huh?
- 00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:44,567 You guys feel safe, right?
- 00:15:44,735 --> 00:15:47,862 Okay, I'm gonna take that spit bubble as a "Yeah, I do."
- 00:15:48,447 --> 00:15:52,659 Let's get rid of this dirty diaper, Leslie. I'll set you up with a nice clean one.
- 00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:57,246 Okay, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I just have to clean that up, okay?
- 00:15:57,414 --> 00:16:00,249 Because, let's face it, we're at Monica's.
- 00:16:00,417 --> 00:16:01,751 [BABIES CRYING]
- 00:16:01,919 --> 00:16:06,255 I broke it. All right. Well, that's just the way things go.
- 00:16:06,423 --> 00:16:08,841 Okay. Good.
- 00:16:10,260 --> 00:16:12,178 Why are there only two of you?
- 00:16:12,346 --> 00:16:13,930 Where's Leslie?
- 00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:17,642 Well, you can't answer. Leslie? Where are you, Leslie?
- 00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:20,937 Leslie, now would be a good time for your first words.
- 00:16:23,607 --> 00:16:25,024 Well, look at you.
- 00:16:25,484 --> 00:16:26,693 Hey.
- 00:16:26,860 --> 00:16:31,239 You are a little bit mischievous. My gosh.
- 00:16:31,407 --> 00:16:33,700 Oh, you're a lot mischievous.
- 00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:37,662 Well, it'll dry.
- 00:16:38,288 --> 00:16:41,207 Okay, you sit with your brother and sister now...
- 00:16:41,375 --> 00:16:43,042 ...who aren't there.
- 00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:58,266 - Hey. - How do you feel?
- 00:16:58,434 --> 00:17:02,020 Well, let's just say that Krog will be equipped to destroy the universe again...
- 00:17:02,187 --> 00:17:04,272 ...in 12 to 14 hours.
- 00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:08,860 Okay, so I totally took care of the babies all by myself.
- 00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,945 I fed them, bathed them and put them to bed.
- 00:17:11,113 --> 00:17:13,990 And protected them from a tornado?
- 00:17:17,786 --> 00:17:18,870 Oh, my God.
- 00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:21,664 I know. The babies are asleep.
- 00:17:22,332 --> 00:17:24,417 Phoebe, what happened here?
- 00:17:24,585 --> 00:17:27,420 I did it. I took care of the babies all by myself.
- 00:17:27,588 --> 00:17:31,716 - But my apartment. - Was the setting of Phoebe's triumph.
- 00:17:33,093 --> 00:17:34,427 But the mess.
- 00:17:34,595 --> 00:17:38,389 Is not as important as the fact that Phoebe took care of the babies all by herself.
- 00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:42,518 You're right. You're right, I shouldn't freak out.
- 00:17:42,686 --> 00:17:44,687 This is what it's gonna be like when we have babies.
- 00:17:44,855 --> 00:17:46,689 When will that be?
- 00:17:49,485 --> 00:17:51,903 Phoebe, would you take a look at this mess?
- 00:17:59,495 --> 00:18:02,663 Oh, honey, thank God you're home. I was getting worried.
- 00:18:04,208 --> 00:18:06,084 I picked up the divorce papers.
- 00:18:06,251 --> 00:18:12,006 Uh, I've already signed everything. And I put little X's where you need to sign.
- 00:18:12,174 --> 00:18:14,967 Oh, little X's. Great. That makes up for everything.
- 00:18:16,386 --> 00:18:20,765 You know, you've done a lot of stupid stuff too, okay?
- 00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:23,810 Oh, name one stupid thing that is as stupid as this one.
- 00:18:23,977 --> 00:18:26,521 Okay, how about you flew to London to stop my wedding?
- 00:18:26,688 --> 00:18:29,482 How about you told me you loved me after I was married?
- 00:18:29,650 --> 00:18:31,692 Wait a minute, that was different.
- 00:18:31,860 --> 00:18:34,362 I did those things because I was in love with you.
- 00:18:34,530 --> 00:18:36,239 Yeah. Right.
- 00:18:39,451 --> 00:18:42,620 You're right. That's very different.
- 00:18:42,788 --> 00:18:44,997 So let's just sign the papers.
- 00:18:47,709 --> 00:18:50,419 - What? - Nothing.
- 00:18:51,255 --> 00:18:53,548 Okay, can we just sign, please?
- 00:18:53,715 --> 00:18:55,341 Mm-hm.
- 00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:07,520 Congratulations.
- 00:19:07,688 --> 00:19:10,648 Okay, wait, Ross. Wait a minute. Um...
- 00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:14,026 I, uh, kind of have a little confession.
- 00:19:14,319 --> 00:19:15,695 What?
- 00:19:15,863 --> 00:19:18,614 Uh, well, you know, this whole marriage thing.
- 00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:20,658 Kind of my idea.
- 00:19:21,702 --> 00:19:23,369 Excuse me?
- 00:19:23,537 --> 00:19:26,122 Remember how we were too drunk to remember anything...
- 00:19:26,290 --> 00:19:27,832 ...the night we were married?
- 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,041 Yeah?
- 00:19:29,209 --> 00:19:32,211 And yeah, I didn't really wanna say anything...
- 00:19:32,379 --> 00:19:35,131 ...but it just kind of kept coming back to me.
- 00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:37,133 Um, remember, we were in the casino...
- 00:19:37,301 --> 00:19:40,386 ...and for some reason, you thought it'd be funny to eat a lot of grapes.
- 00:19:41,263 --> 00:19:46,434 And I thought it would be funnier if we got married.
- 00:19:46,602 --> 00:19:51,564 So, ahem, as a compromise, we decided first to get married and then...
- 00:19:51,732 --> 00:19:54,275 ...to eat a lot of grapes. - To eat a lot of grapes.
- 00:19:56,486 --> 00:19:58,487 So, um...
- 00:19:58,655 --> 00:20:01,782 Sorry I got us into this whole thing.
- 00:20:02,534 --> 00:20:05,161 So then, I mean, if you think about it...
- 00:20:05,329 --> 00:20:08,080 ...this is all your fault.
- 00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:11,959 Yeah, don't push it, though.
- 00:20:14,796 --> 00:20:16,505 I gotta say...
- 00:20:16,965 --> 00:20:19,425 ...I know I divorce a lot of women.
- 00:20:22,804 --> 00:20:25,556 Never thought I'd be divorcing you.
- 00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:27,391 I know.
- 00:20:27,768 --> 00:20:31,646 I always thought if you and I got married, that would be the one that stuck.
- 00:20:32,314 --> 00:20:34,982 And it wouldn't be a secret...
- 00:20:35,150 --> 00:20:37,526 ...and we wouldn't have our wedding dinner at Pizza Hut.
- 00:20:38,111 --> 00:20:39,779 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:20:40,614 --> 00:20:42,323 Did I even treat?
- 00:20:42,491 --> 00:20:46,285 No, it was on the house. It was a newlywed special.
- 00:20:46,995 --> 00:20:49,747 That may be the most depressing thing I've heard in my life.
- 00:20:49,915 --> 00:20:51,207 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:20:53,043 --> 00:20:55,461 Well, I should probably get these to my lawyer's office.
- 00:20:56,505 --> 00:20:58,631 Hey, thanks, Ross, for taking care of all this.
- 00:20:58,799 --> 00:21:01,300 - Ah, no problem. - Yeah.
- 00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:12,770 - I'm gonna need a copy of those. - Totally.
- 00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:14,230 Yeah.
- 00:21:19,653 --> 00:21:23,489 Hey, hey, hey. Careful around my Porsche.
- 00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:27,451 - Hi, Joey. - Hey.
- 00:21:27,619 --> 00:21:29,245 How you doing?
- 00:21:29,788 --> 00:21:32,373 He has the most amazing Porsche under there.
- 00:21:32,541 --> 00:21:35,668 I'd love to show you, but I just tucked her in. She's sleeping.
- 00:21:35,836 --> 00:21:37,169 [BOTH LAUGHING]
- 00:21:37,337 --> 00:21:39,422 Hey, would you two girls like to go for a drink?
- 00:21:51,643 --> 00:21:53,644 [English - US - SDH]
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