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Эпизод с полицейским
The One with the Cop
Сезон: 05Серия: 16
Описание
Фиби находит полицейский значок в кофейне и весело притворяется полицейской – пока не выставляет его напоказ владельцу, полицейскому по имени Гэри (Майкл Рапапорт). Позже он приглашает её на ужин. Росс покупает новый диван, но отказывается платить огромную плату за доставку. Вскоре Росс жалеет, что не заплатил, когда они с Рэйчел пытаются занести диван в его квартиру. Джоуи расстроен после того, как ему приснился романтический сон о Монике. Однако Моника уверяет его, что это только потому, что он хочет серьёзных отношений, подобных тем, что были у Моники и Чендлера.
Субтитры
- 00:00:08,174 --> 00:00:09,508 - Hey. CHANDLER & MONICA: Hey.
- 00:00:10,635 --> 00:00:13,929 - What are you guys doing up? - We wanted to finish the crossword before bed.
- 00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:17,766 Do you know a six-letter word for "red"?
- 00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:20,102 Dark-red.
- 00:00:21,604 --> 00:00:25,774 I think that's wrong, but there's a connect-the-dots in here for you later.
- 00:00:27,235 --> 00:00:29,111 Hey, how, uh, about maroon?
- 00:00:30,363 --> 00:00:32,865 - Yes! You are so smart! - Ha-ha-ha.
- 00:00:33,366 --> 00:00:34,408 JOEY: Aw.
- 00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:36,076 You guys are so cute.
- 00:00:36,244 --> 00:00:37,953 I know.
- 00:00:38,496 --> 00:00:40,205 All right. I'll see you in the morning.
- 00:00:40,373 --> 00:00:41,999 BOTH: Okay.
- 00:00:54,262 --> 00:00:57,139 You know, I love doing crossword puzzles with you, honey.
- 00:00:57,307 --> 00:00:58,348 Oh, me too.
- 00:00:58,516 --> 00:01:00,976 - Now, let's finish this and go to bed. - Okay.
- 00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:02,603 There's only one left.
- 00:01:02,771 --> 00:01:06,273 Three-letter word. Not dog, but...
- 00:01:07,442 --> 00:01:09,151 Cat.
- 00:01:10,195 --> 00:01:11,737 Yes. Ha.
- 00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:14,031 You are so smart!
- 00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,242 I love you.
- 00:01:17,410 --> 00:01:18,911 I love you too.
- 00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:20,621 [MONICA CHUCKLES]
- 00:02:23,101 --> 00:02:24,143 RACHEL: Uh.
- 00:02:24,352 --> 00:02:25,727 We still need a tip.
- 00:02:25,895 --> 00:02:28,438 All right. Hold on.
- 00:02:28,606 --> 00:02:30,399 I got it.
- 00:02:30,775 --> 00:02:32,693 Nickel.
- 00:02:32,861 --> 00:02:35,445 - How much more do we need? - Couple of bucks.
- 00:02:36,030 --> 00:02:37,573 Okay, dime.
- 00:02:38,366 --> 00:02:41,034 You guys should probably keep talking. This could take a while.
- 00:02:41,619 --> 00:02:42,870 Wait, lookit!
- 00:02:43,037 --> 00:02:44,413 Whoa!
- 00:02:44,581 --> 00:02:46,456 Oh, my God. This is a police badge!
- 00:02:46,708 --> 00:02:50,961 Oh, cool. But why would a cop come in here? They don't serve doughnuts. Ha.
- 00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:54,256 Can you discover the badge again?
- 00:02:54,424 --> 00:02:56,884 I think I can come up with something better than that.
- 00:02:58,136 --> 00:03:00,345 I bet somebody's missing that badge.
- 00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:03,640 I should take it back. Ooh, but while I'm at the police station...
- 00:03:03,892 --> 00:03:05,809 ...I could check their Ten Most Wanted list.
- 00:03:06,060 --> 00:03:09,938 My friend Fritzi's been Number 11 forever. This could be her year!
- 00:03:12,066 --> 00:03:14,568 - Hey, you guys. MONICA: Hey, Joey.
- 00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:17,070 - Hey. - Hey.
- 00:03:17,238 --> 00:03:19,656 Is that my sweatshirt?
- 00:03:19,824 --> 00:03:23,285 Yes, it is. I'm sorry. I borrowed it. I was cold. I hope it's okay.
- 00:03:23,453 --> 00:03:26,914 It's just that, uh, if you wear someone's sweatshirt...
- 00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:29,416 ...shouldn't it be your boyfriend's?
- 00:03:29,667 --> 00:03:31,251 And I'm not him.
- 00:03:32,712 --> 00:03:34,046 I'm sorry. I'll give it back.
- 00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:35,464 No, no. No.
- 00:03:35,632 --> 00:03:38,258 It's going to be all smelling like Monica.
- 00:03:38,968 --> 00:03:40,302 Are you saying I smell bad?
- 00:03:40,470 --> 00:03:41,511 No.
- 00:03:41,679 --> 00:03:43,931 You smell like a meadow.
- 00:03:46,184 --> 00:03:47,226 I'm sorry.
- 00:03:50,438 --> 00:03:51,480 What's with him?
- 00:03:51,731 --> 00:03:56,068 The last time Joey went to a meadow, his mother was shot by a hunter.
- 00:04:09,999 --> 00:04:11,458 [GROANS]
- 00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:15,754 I still don't know.
- 00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:19,883 I'm sorry, I just want to make sure I bought the right couch, one that says:
- 00:04:20,051 --> 00:04:24,388 "Kids welcome here," but that also says
- 00:04:24,639 --> 00:04:26,890 "Come here to me."
- 00:04:29,018 --> 00:04:32,604 What? You say that to kids?
- 00:04:33,022 --> 00:04:34,064 No, no, no.
- 00:04:34,232 --> 00:04:38,735 The "Come here to me" is, you know, for the ladies.
- 00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:42,739 Ross, honey, it's a nice couch, not a magic couch.
- 00:04:44,575 --> 00:04:46,076 Well, you picked a great couch.
- 00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:47,327 - Yeah? - Yeah.
- 00:04:47,495 --> 00:04:48,996 - Sign here please. - Sure.
- 00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:51,456 Oh, what's, heh...?
- 00:04:51,624 --> 00:04:54,084 The delivery charge is almost as much as the couch!
- 00:04:54,335 --> 00:04:57,212 That's ridiculous. He lives three blocks away.
- 00:04:57,380 --> 00:05:00,424 You know what? I'll take it myself. Thank you.
- 00:05:01,092 --> 00:05:02,759 All right, Rach, come on. Let's go.
- 00:05:02,927 --> 00:05:04,303 RACHEL: Yeah.
- 00:05:05,430 --> 00:05:06,847 [ROSS MOANS]
- 00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:09,224 [LAUGHS]
- 00:05:09,392 --> 00:05:11,268 Are you kidding?
- 00:05:12,061 --> 00:05:16,231 Come on. It's only three blocks. Uh, it's not very heavy. Try it.
- 00:05:16,399 --> 00:05:18,317 [RACHEL GRUNTS]
- 00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:23,655 - Oh, I can do it. - Yeah.
- 00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:26,491 You two will really enjoy that couch.
- 00:05:27,201 --> 00:05:29,411 We're, uh, not together.
- 00:05:29,662 --> 00:05:31,455 Oh, okay. Yeah. Ha-ha-ha.
- 00:05:31,622 --> 00:05:33,415 Something didn't quite add up there.
- 00:05:38,963 --> 00:05:40,213 Ross.
- 00:05:40,381 --> 00:05:42,174 - What's that supposed to mean? - Ross.
- 00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:45,469 Well, you. Her. Heh.
- 00:05:45,678 --> 00:05:47,471 I mean, she's very...
- 00:05:47,722 --> 00:05:48,930 ...you know.
- 00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:50,807 And you're, like...
- 00:05:50,975 --> 00:05:52,809 ...you know?
- 00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:59,191 Not that it's any of your business, but we did go out.
- 00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:00,650 Really? You two?
- 00:06:00,818 --> 00:06:01,860 Yeah. Rach?
- 00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:05,572 I don't want to do this now. I'm carrying a heavy couch.
- 00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:08,075 Then tell him quickly.
- 00:06:08,659 --> 00:06:10,535 Fine. We went out.
- 00:06:10,703 --> 00:06:12,996 Not only did we go out...
- 00:06:13,164 --> 00:06:16,124 ...we did it 298 times!
- 00:06:16,292 --> 00:06:18,001 Ross.
- 00:06:18,628 --> 00:06:20,045 Oh, my...
- 00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:24,091 Ugh, you kept count? You are such a loser!
- 00:06:25,176 --> 00:06:29,096 A loser you did it with 298 times!
- 00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:35,435 Oh. Oh!
- 00:06:35,603 --> 00:06:39,940 Excuse me, ma'am. You can't put your cigarette out on a tree.
- 00:06:40,108 --> 00:06:41,817 Yeah, I can. It worked well.
- 00:06:42,652 --> 00:06:45,737 But you shouldn't. So don't ever do that again.
- 00:06:45,947 --> 00:06:48,865 I won't till I have my next cigarette.
- 00:06:49,117 --> 00:06:50,325 Hold it!
- 00:06:50,576 --> 00:06:52,494 NYPD. Freeze, punk!
- 00:06:52,662 --> 00:06:54,121 What?
- 00:06:54,288 --> 00:06:57,916 That's right. You are so busted.
- 00:06:58,084 --> 00:06:59,334 Book them.
- 00:07:01,170 --> 00:07:04,089 - Who are you talking to? - Save it, red!
- 00:07:04,465 --> 00:07:08,385 Unless you want to spend the night in the slammer, you apologize to the tree.
- 00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:11,430 I am not going to apologize to a tree.
- 00:07:12,014 --> 00:07:15,642 You apologize to the tree right now, or I am calling for backup.
- 00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:19,312 Backup! Backup!
- 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:21,189 I'm sorry! Sorry!
- 00:07:21,399 --> 00:07:24,526 Okay, cancel backup! Cancel backup!
- 00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:27,487 ROSS: Okay.
- 00:07:27,655 --> 00:07:30,574 Didn't you say there was, um, an elevator in here?
- 00:07:30,741 --> 00:07:34,119 Uh, yes, I did, but there isn't. Here we go!
- 00:07:35,413 --> 00:07:37,205 Okay, go left.
- 00:07:37,373 --> 00:07:39,541 Left. Left.
- 00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:43,128 Okay, you know what? There's no more left left.
- 00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:46,047 Lift it straight up over your head.
- 00:07:46,215 --> 00:07:48,592 Straight up over your head. You can do it!
- 00:07:48,759 --> 00:07:50,010 You can do it!
- 00:07:50,178 --> 00:07:52,179 - Okay. You got it? - Yeah.
- 00:07:52,346 --> 00:07:53,680 - Go, go. - Good, good.
- 00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:56,016 You got it, right? You got it, right? You got...
- 00:07:56,184 --> 00:07:58,727 [RACHEL SCREAMS]
- 00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:01,605 [RACHEL CLEARS THROAT]
- 00:08:01,772 --> 00:08:04,816 Any chance you think the couch looks good there?
- 00:08:06,235 --> 00:08:07,611 This guy was all...
- 00:08:07,778 --> 00:08:08,820 [SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
- 00:08:08,988 --> 00:08:10,906 And I'm all, "Buffay! Homicide!"
- 00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:14,409 It was just so cool! Ha-ha-ha.
- 00:08:14,869 --> 00:08:16,870 Phoebe, you were supposed to take that back.
- 00:08:17,079 --> 00:08:19,414 I know, but I'm having so much fun doing good deeds.
- 00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:23,543 Okay, but impersonating a police officer is a serious thing. You can get arrested.
- 00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:26,254 You could get arrested right now!
- 00:08:29,258 --> 00:08:32,761 All right, yeah, I'd better take it back. I'm totally drunk with power.
- 00:08:36,390 --> 00:08:38,433 - Hey. - Hey.
- 00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:40,644 Oh.
- 00:08:41,979 --> 00:08:43,396 Hi, Joe.
- 00:08:43,564 --> 00:08:46,274 Yeah. I didn't know you guys were gonna be here.
- 00:08:46,442 --> 00:08:49,069 - Do me a favor, sweetie. Taste this. - What? Why?
- 00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:52,030 - What is going on with you? - Nothing.
- 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:53,949 You've been acting strange all day.
- 00:08:54,575 --> 00:08:57,619 All right. There is something. I, uh...
- 00:08:58,412 --> 00:09:00,747 I kind of had a dream.
- 00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:03,875 But I don't want to talk about it.
- 00:09:04,168 --> 00:09:07,003 Oh, whoa. What if Martin Luther King had said that?
- 00:09:08,714 --> 00:09:11,258 I kind of have a dream.
- 00:09:12,301 --> 00:09:14,386 I don't want to talk about it.
- 00:09:15,888 --> 00:09:18,390 Look, it involved Monica.
- 00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:21,434 You had a dream about a girl I'm seeing? Oh, that is so cool.
- 00:09:21,602 --> 00:09:23,895 I can't tell you how many times I dreamt about a girl he was seeing.
- 00:09:24,063 --> 00:09:27,732 Anyway, we were talking about your dream. I love you. Your dream?
- 00:09:28,067 --> 00:09:31,403 Don't worry, there wasn't any sex in it. I haven't dreamt about her like that...
- 00:09:31,612 --> 00:09:34,197 ...since I found out about you two-ish.
- 00:09:37,910 --> 00:09:38,952 [LAUGHS]
- 00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:40,453 What was the dream about?
- 00:09:40,621 --> 00:09:42,956 Well, okay.
- 00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:47,043 You were my girlfriend. We were doing the crossword puzzle.
- 00:09:47,295 --> 00:09:49,087 Like you guys were doing last night.
- 00:09:49,338 --> 00:09:52,465 So that's it. I'm in love with Monica and I'll be moving out.
- 00:09:52,633 --> 00:09:56,428 Joey, come on. That doesn't mean that you're in love with me.
- 00:09:57,096 --> 00:09:58,138 It doesn't?
- 00:09:58,306 --> 00:10:00,140 It could mean anything. Like, uh...
- 00:10:00,391 --> 00:10:03,768 ...all of a sudden you're jealous that I've become the apartment stud.
- 00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:06,479 Kind of sounds like your dream, dude.
- 00:10:09,191 --> 00:10:13,612 Or it could mean you saw Chandler and me together, being close and stuff...
- 00:10:13,779 --> 00:10:16,156 ...and you just wanna have that with someone too.
- 00:10:16,574 --> 00:10:18,783 In the dream I did enjoy the closeness.
- 00:10:19,410 --> 00:10:20,452 Okay, look.
- 00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:21,953 Are you attracted to Monica?
- 00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:24,414 Right here, right now, are you attracted to her?
- 00:10:27,793 --> 00:10:29,836 - Not really. - There you have it!
- 00:10:30,087 --> 00:10:33,465 Heh. Well, sure! I'm just wearing sweats!
- 00:10:34,842 --> 00:10:36,051 But that's good!
- 00:10:36,218 --> 00:10:39,387 You're not in love with me. You just want a girlfriend.
- 00:10:39,555 --> 00:10:42,098 No, I don't think it's just about getting a girlfriend.
- 00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:43,725 Yeah, I could get a girlfriend.
- 00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:47,062 Yeah, we could sit in the chair and do crossword puzzles.
- 00:10:47,229 --> 00:10:50,106 But are we ever gonna have the closeness like you guys have?
- 00:10:50,524 --> 00:10:54,611 Monica and I were friends before we started dating. Maybe that's it.
- 00:10:54,779 --> 00:10:56,696 Friends first?
- 00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:58,573 That's interesting.
- 00:10:59,617 --> 00:11:03,370 - You become friends after? - No, never done that either.
- 00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:06,915 Um, do you guys have a tape measure?
- 00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:08,833 Oh, yeah. It's actually in my bedroom.
- 00:11:09,001 --> 00:11:10,710 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:11:10,878 --> 00:11:12,253 That's right.
- 00:11:25,267 --> 00:11:26,893 What's up, Joey?
- 00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:31,231 How you doing?
- 00:11:40,866 --> 00:11:43,368 PHOEBE: Excuse me. Is this your car? - Yeah.
- 00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:46,746 Well, I don't think it's nice of you to park here. You're blocking the entrance.
- 00:11:46,997 --> 00:11:48,915 Don't worry about it. It's not a problem.
- 00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:54,045 It's a problem for me, which means it's a problem for you because I'm a cop.
- 00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:57,757 So am I.
- 00:12:00,136 --> 00:12:01,761 Oh, no.
- 00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:07,058 Oh, okay. So you're a cop. You can park anywhere.
- 00:12:07,268 --> 00:12:09,269 I know that because I'm a cop too.
- 00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:12,021 All right. Keep up the good work. Ten-four.
- 00:12:12,189 --> 00:12:14,899 Wait a second. So, what precinct are you with?
- 00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:17,694 I'm with the, um, the 57th.
- 00:12:17,862 --> 00:12:21,197 - I know a guy in Homicide up there. - I'm in Vice.
- 00:12:21,449 --> 00:12:24,909 In fact, I'm undercover right now. I'm a whore.
- 00:12:27,288 --> 00:12:29,038 Who else is in Vice up there?
- 00:12:29,206 --> 00:12:30,999 Um, do you know, um...
- 00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:32,500 ...Sipowitz?
- 00:12:33,335 --> 00:12:35,336 Sipowitz? No, I don't think so.
- 00:12:35,546 --> 00:12:38,757 Yeah. Sipowitz. Yeah. Big guy, kind of bald.
- 00:12:38,924 --> 00:12:40,967 I don't know him.
- 00:12:42,178 --> 00:12:45,472 Don't try to call him or anything. Because he's not there. He's out.
- 00:12:45,723 --> 00:12:48,266 His, um, partner just died.
- 00:12:49,477 --> 00:12:52,312 Tell Sipowitz I'm real sorry for his loss.
- 00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:54,939 I sure will. Take care.
- 00:12:55,149 --> 00:12:57,776 Hey, by the way, I'm sure Sipowitz is gonna be all right.
- 00:12:58,027 --> 00:13:00,987 I heard that kid from Silver Spoons is really good.
- 00:13:03,991 --> 00:13:05,742 Where'd you find my badge?
- 00:13:06,452 --> 00:13:07,494 Oh!
- 00:13:07,661 --> 00:13:09,454 [LAUGHS]
- 00:13:16,295 --> 00:13:20,340 Hey, Joey, would you mind giving me and Ross a hand moving his couch?
- 00:13:20,508 --> 00:13:23,468 Aw, I'd love to but I got acting class. But you know what?
- 00:13:23,677 --> 00:13:26,179 I guess I could blow that off for you.
- 00:13:31,018 --> 00:13:32,352 Thanks.
- 00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:36,648 Uh, let me ask you something. I was talking with Monica and Chandler.
- 00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,691 Boy, they are really tight.
- 00:13:38,859 --> 00:13:39,901 I know.
- 00:13:40,069 --> 00:13:42,195 That's not a bad situation they got over there.
- 00:13:42,404 --> 00:13:43,905 Mm-mm.
- 00:13:44,448 --> 00:13:46,449 Thinking of getting me one of those.
- 00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:51,371 What's up, Joe?
- 00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:54,916 The reason I think Monica and Chandler are so great...
- 00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:57,752 ...is because they were friends first, you know?
- 00:13:58,003 --> 00:14:02,298 So I asked myself, who are my friends? You and Phoebe.
- 00:14:02,550 --> 00:14:04,884 I saw you first, so...
- 00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:07,804 RACHEL: Heh. - Mm-hm.
- 00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:12,517 - What are you saying? - I'm saying maybe you and I crank it up a notch.
- 00:14:16,355 --> 00:14:17,939 You know, honey, um...
- 00:14:18,190 --> 00:14:20,483 ...as, uh, flattered as I am...
- 00:14:20,734 --> 00:14:23,361 ...that you saw me first...
- 00:14:24,154 --> 00:14:28,032 ...uh, I just don't think we should be cranking anything up.
- 00:14:29,368 --> 00:14:30,702 I'll treat you real nice.
- 00:14:36,292 --> 00:14:37,876 Oh!
- 00:14:38,043 --> 00:14:40,628 Yeah. Well, you know, um...
- 00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:46,718 Listen, I think it's a great idea to become friends with someone before you date.
- 00:14:46,969 --> 00:14:51,097 But I think the way you do it is you meet someone, become their friend...
- 00:14:51,307 --> 00:14:54,767 ...build a foundation, then ask them out on a date.
- 00:14:55,019 --> 00:14:57,520 Don't hit on your existing friends.
- 00:14:59,273 --> 00:15:01,941 Won't that take longer?
- 00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:04,235 Yeah. Yeah.
- 00:15:04,403 --> 00:15:06,321 Oh, but once you find it...
- 00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:08,740 ...it's so worth the wait.
- 00:15:09,867 --> 00:15:10,909 Yeah.
- 00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:12,160 I understand.
- 00:15:12,328 --> 00:15:14,162 RACHEL: Good.
- 00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:16,873 Man, I wish I saw Phoebe first.
- 00:15:20,502 --> 00:15:21,711 Come here to me.
- 00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:25,924 No, no. You come here to me.
- 00:15:27,092 --> 00:15:29,302 Hey, Ross.
- 00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:32,513 - Ahem, I brought reinforcements. - Oh, great! You brought Joey?
- 00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:34,223 I brought the next best thing. Heh.
- 00:15:34,391 --> 00:15:35,975 Hey.
- 00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:40,521 You brought Chandler? The next best thing would be Monica!
- 00:15:41,565 --> 00:15:45,526 I would be offended, but Monica is freakishly strong, so...
- 00:15:46,153 --> 00:15:48,613 Look, I drew a sketch of how we'll do it.
- 00:15:48,822 --> 00:15:50,740 Rach, that's you.
- 00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,951 That's the couch.
- 00:15:53,118 --> 00:15:55,244 Oh, what's that?
- 00:15:55,496 --> 00:15:56,955 Oh, that's me.
- 00:15:58,040 --> 00:15:59,916 Wow.
- 00:16:01,335 --> 00:16:03,670 Certainly think a lot of yourself.
- 00:16:05,381 --> 00:16:07,298 No. That's my arm.
- 00:16:11,595 --> 00:16:15,765 Oh, I see. I thought you just really, really liked your new couch.
- 00:16:18,852 --> 00:16:20,645 Just follow my lead.
- 00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:22,480 Okay.
- 00:16:23,148 --> 00:16:24,941 ROSS: Come on, Chandler.
- 00:16:25,109 --> 00:16:26,275 Ah.
- 00:16:26,443 --> 00:16:27,777 - All right. CHANDLER: Okay.
- 00:16:28,028 --> 00:16:30,238 ROSS: Here we go.
- 00:16:30,406 --> 00:16:31,864 All right. Ready?
- 00:16:32,032 --> 00:16:33,199 CHANDLER: Yeah. RACHEL: Yeah.
- 00:16:33,367 --> 00:16:34,450 ROSS: Turn! CHANDLER: Okay.
- 00:16:34,618 --> 00:16:35,660 ROSS: Turn!
- 00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:37,245 Turn!
- 00:16:37,913 --> 00:16:42,208 - I don't think we can turn anymore! RACHEL: I don't think it'll fit!
- 00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:45,378 ROSS: Yeah, it will. Come on! Up, up, up!
- 00:16:45,546 --> 00:16:47,463 Up! Yes!
- 00:16:47,965 --> 00:16:49,966 Here we go! Pivot!
- 00:16:50,676 --> 00:17:01,894 Pivot!
- 00:17:02,062 --> 00:17:05,189 Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
- 00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:11,612 I don't think it's gonna pivot anymore.
- 00:17:11,780 --> 00:17:13,156 BOTH: You think?
- 00:17:15,492 --> 00:17:19,245 All right, let's, uh, bring it back down and try again.
- 00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:21,622 Oh.
- 00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:23,833 RACHEL: Whoa.
- 00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:25,752 [GRUNTS]
- 00:17:27,337 --> 00:17:29,881 I think it's really stuck now.
- 00:17:31,467 --> 00:17:35,011 - I can't believe that didn't work. - I know. Me neither.
- 00:17:35,262 --> 00:17:36,971 I mean, you had a sketch.
- 00:17:38,807 --> 00:17:41,476 What did you mean when you said "pivot"?
- 00:17:46,356 --> 00:17:47,398 - Hey. RACHEL: Hey.
- 00:17:47,566 --> 00:17:50,193 How's it going? Did you make any new friends?
- 00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:52,945 Yeah. I met this woman.
- 00:17:53,113 --> 00:17:54,906 Hey. Whoa, whoa.
- 00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:56,657 What's she like?
- 00:17:56,825 --> 00:17:58,534 Uh, well, she's...
- 00:17:58,702 --> 00:18:00,036 ...really good in bed.
- 00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:03,790 I thought you were going to try to be friends first.
- 00:18:03,957 --> 00:18:07,126 - Hey, it's all your fault. - What? Why?
- 00:18:07,294 --> 00:18:10,463 You didn't give me advice. You gave me a pickup line.
- 00:18:10,631 --> 00:18:14,467 I told her I wanted to "build a foundation and be friends."
- 00:18:14,635 --> 00:18:19,430 Suddenly, through no fault of my own, I became irresistible to her!
- 00:18:20,474 --> 00:18:21,808 And her roommate!
- 00:18:23,977 --> 00:18:25,728 What about the "closeness"?
- 00:18:26,146 --> 00:18:30,441 Closeness, schmosness! There was three of us, for crying out loud!
- 00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:36,781 Who wants pizza?
- 00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:38,366 I do! I do! I do!
- 00:18:39,076 --> 00:18:42,954 This is great! Can you believe I found this on the second floor?
- 00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:45,748 [KNOCKING ON DOOR]
- 00:18:45,916 --> 00:18:47,917 - Who is it? OFFICER: NYPD.
- 00:18:48,085 --> 00:18:50,169 PHOEBE: Oh, my God! JOEY: Oh, my God.
- 00:18:50,546 --> 00:18:52,964 Uh, just a minute, officer!
- 00:19:01,682 --> 00:19:06,310 OFFICER: I'm looking for Phoebe Buffay. - My God, it's him! It's that cop!
- 00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:10,523 - I can't believe he found me! - Are you going to go to jail?
- 00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:13,901 If I'm going down, you guys are going down with me.
- 00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:19,448 Harboring a fugitive? That's one-to-three years minimum.
- 00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:21,742 Good luck, Chandler.
- 00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:29,208 You can arrest me, but you'll never make it stick and you know it.
- 00:19:29,376 --> 00:19:32,753 I kind of don't have a choice, it's my job. You understand, right?
- 00:19:32,921 --> 00:19:35,715 Yeah, as long as you understand that I'm gonna call my lawyer.
- 00:19:35,924 --> 00:19:39,802 And once he puts you on the stand, he's gonna make you look like a fool! Like a fool!
- 00:19:41,638 --> 00:19:43,598 I don't like looking foolish.
- 00:19:44,057 --> 00:19:48,227 Maybe, uh, I don't arrest you today. Maybe I came by and you weren't here.
- 00:19:48,395 --> 00:19:50,605 I would love it if I weren't here!
- 00:19:51,315 --> 00:19:55,359 Since, um, you're not going to jail tonight, I was wondering if you'd, um...
- 00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:57,820 ...like to go to dinner with me?
- 00:19:58,530 --> 00:19:59,780 - Me? OFFICER: Yeah.
- 00:19:59,948 --> 00:20:03,784 Ever since you flashed my badge at me, I kind of can't stop thinking about you.
- 00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:07,830 You're the prettiest fake undercover whore I've ever seen.
- 00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:11,417 [IN UNISON] Nice.
- 00:20:13,462 --> 00:20:16,923 Wow, I didn't see that coming. You're asking me out.
- 00:20:17,132 --> 00:20:20,551 Yeah, I could've done it better, but these people keep staring at me.
- 00:20:20,719 --> 00:20:24,972 Um, yeah, I'd like to go out with you, officer.
- 00:20:25,807 --> 00:20:27,600 - Gary. - Gary.
- 00:20:27,768 --> 00:20:29,769 - Okay, so it's a date. PHOEBE: Yeah.
- 00:20:29,937 --> 00:20:32,563 I gotta ask you, though. How did you know where to find me?
- 00:20:32,814 --> 00:20:35,900 Your fingerprints were all over my badge so I ran them through the computer.
- 00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:38,778 This was listed as your last known address so I checked it out.
- 00:20:38,946 --> 00:20:39,987 Oh, impressive.
- 00:20:40,155 --> 00:20:44,533 Not as impressive as you. I looked at your record and you've done some weird stuff.
- 00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:46,410 We'll talk at dinner.
- 00:20:46,578 --> 00:20:47,828 Okay.
- 00:20:47,996 --> 00:20:50,039 So I'll come by in a couple hours and pick you up?
- 00:20:50,207 --> 00:20:51,707 - All right, I can't wait. - Okay.
- 00:20:51,875 --> 00:20:54,710 Don't worry, I won't just take you out for doughnuts.
- 00:20:54,878 --> 00:20:56,629 [LAUGHS]
- 00:20:58,090 --> 00:20:59,507 He has a gun!
- 00:21:06,014 --> 00:21:09,642 I'd like to return this couch. I'm not satisfied with it.
- 00:21:14,523 --> 00:21:17,066 You want to return this couch?
- 00:21:18,527 --> 00:21:21,195 It's cut in half.
- 00:21:22,072 --> 00:21:26,325 - That's what I'm telling you. - Did you cut this couch in half?
- 00:21:27,744 --> 00:21:30,788 This couch is cut in half!
- 00:21:32,249 --> 00:21:37,295 I would like to exchange it for one that is not cut in half.
- 00:21:37,546 --> 00:21:41,048 You're telling me this couch was delivered to you like this?
- 00:21:41,216 --> 00:21:43,426 Look, I'm a reasonable man.
- 00:21:43,593 --> 00:21:46,679 I will accept store credit.
- 00:21:47,389 --> 00:21:51,392 I'll give you store credit in the amount of $4.
- 00:21:54,855 --> 00:21:56,522 I will take it.
- 00:22:01,987 --> 00:22:03,988 [English - US - SDH]
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