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Эпизод с ложной вечеринкой
The One with the Fake Party
Сезон: 04Серия: 16
Описание
Беременность вызывает у Фиби непреодолимую тягу к мясу, несмотря на то, что она убежденная вегетарианка. Она обращается за советом к Джоуи, и он решает сократить потребление мяса, чтобы компенсировать количество мяса, которое ест Фиби. Тем временем Росс хочет провести как можно больше времени с Эмили до ее возвращения в Лондон. Однако Рейчел устраивает для Эмили фальшивую прощальную вечеринку-сюрприз, чтобы пригласить Джошуа, тем самым нарушая более интимные планы Росса на прощание.
Субтитры
- 00:00:04,504 --> 00:00:05,629 MONICA: What is it?
- 00:00:05,797 --> 00:00:08,048 Nothing. I can't find anything that I want to eat.
- 00:00:08,216 --> 00:00:09,550 Everything makes me nauseous.
- 00:00:09,759 --> 00:00:12,553 I'm telling you, being pregnant is no piece of cake. Oh, cake.
- 00:00:14,347 --> 00:00:15,764 No.
- 00:00:16,558 --> 00:00:18,892 -Aw, honey, I'm sorry. -God.
- 00:00:19,060 --> 00:00:23,731 Ooh, ehat is that smell? It's coming from the bathroom.
- 00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:27,151 Wow, pregnancy does give you some weird cravings.
- 00:00:27,318 --> 00:00:28,360 [KNOCKING ON DOOR]
- 00:00:28,528 --> 00:00:29,862 JOEY: Yeah. -It's me. It's Phoebe.
- 00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:32,990 Listen, there's something in here I want to eat. What...?
- 00:00:33,950 --> 00:00:36,118 What smells so good?
- 00:00:36,911 --> 00:00:39,371 Is it the shampoo? It's guava.
- 00:00:39,539 --> 00:00:40,748 No.
- 00:00:40,915 --> 00:00:42,916 -Ugh. -Oh, wait, wait.
- 00:00:43,918 --> 00:00:45,961 Is it my bologna sandwich?
- 00:00:48,298 --> 00:00:50,174 Yes, yes, yes.
- 00:00:50,341 --> 00:00:53,343 I can't believe it. The baby wants bologna. The baby wants me to eat meat.
- 00:00:53,511 --> 00:00:56,263 -I can't eat meat. -Uh, wait, wait.
- 00:00:57,307 --> 00:00:59,058 Maybe it's the pickle.
- 00:01:51,319 --> 00:01:52,528 What are you eriting?
- 00:01:52,695 --> 00:01:54,154 Well, Joshua's coming in tomorrow...
- 00:01:54,322 --> 00:01:56,865 ...and since I don't have the guts to ask him out...
- 00:01:57,033 --> 00:01:59,701 ...I'm gonna sell him a coat and put this note in the pocket.
- 00:01:59,869 --> 00:02:01,328 CHANDLER: Oh, yeah? -Oh.
- 00:02:01,496 --> 00:02:05,749 "Joshua, give me a call sometime. Guys like you...
- 00:02:05,917 --> 00:02:08,335 ...never go out of style."
- 00:02:09,254 --> 00:02:11,505 What did you throw away?
- 00:02:13,508 --> 00:02:16,552 -Hi, guys. -Hey, what have you guys been up to?
- 00:02:16,719 --> 00:02:20,806 Oh, we eent to see a collection of Victorian doorknobs at the Cooper-Heeitt museum.
- 00:02:21,057 --> 00:02:22,432 Without me?
- 00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:27,229 My uncle dragged us there, but actually it turned out to be interesting.
- 00:02:27,397 --> 00:02:29,731 -Yeah. -They were so ornate and beautiful.
- 00:02:29,899 --> 00:02:30,941 I mean, look at that.
- 00:02:31,109 --> 00:02:32,776 I don't know how museums work in England...
- 00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:35,529 ...but here, you're not supposed to take stuff.
- 00:02:35,905 --> 00:02:38,448 I, uh-- I got it from the gift shop.
- 00:02:38,616 --> 00:02:40,492 They have really lax security there.
- 00:02:42,203 --> 00:02:43,662 It's a joke.
- 00:02:45,081 --> 00:02:46,373 ROSS: Bye.
- 00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:51,295 Right, I've got to be off. I'll see you. Bye-bye, then.
- 00:02:51,462 --> 00:02:53,130 GROUP: Bye.
- 00:02:53,798 --> 00:02:56,300 Wow. Hey, you guys seem to be having a good time.
- 00:02:56,467 --> 00:03:00,762 Oh, yeah, she is amazing, and she's so much fun.
- 00:03:00,930 --> 00:03:04,641 And you knoe ehat? When I'm with her, I'm fun.
- 00:03:04,809 --> 00:03:06,143 [ROSS CHUCKLES]
- 00:03:06,311 --> 00:03:08,896 I even signed up for helicopter classes.
- 00:03:10,231 --> 00:03:12,316 She's leaving in two days. I don't have to do it.
- 00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:15,736 -Aw, two days? You must be bummed. ROSS: Yeah.
- 00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:17,487 She's got to go back to London.
- 00:03:17,655 --> 00:03:20,324 But you know what? I've been prepared for this from the start.
- 00:03:20,491 --> 00:03:24,036 We both knew we had two weeks together and then that's it, you knoe?
- 00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:26,788 Hey, that's what all my relationships are like.
- 00:03:27,624 --> 00:03:30,918 Yes, but in Ross' case, they both know in teo weeks that's it.
- 00:03:32,962 --> 00:03:35,088 GROUP: Pheebs, hey.
- 00:03:35,256 --> 00:03:37,841 -Hello, hello. -Yeah, I knoe. Yeah.
- 00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:42,054 So the baby is totally craving meat.
- 00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:43,764 This afternoon, I tried tricking it.
- 00:03:43,932 --> 00:03:46,808 I made it a soy burger so that maybe it'd think it eas getting meat.
- 00:03:46,976 --> 00:03:49,186 You know? And I got nauseous.
- 00:03:49,354 --> 00:03:52,522 Well, maybe that's because soy burgers suck.
- 00:03:53,691 --> 00:03:55,776 Being pregnant is hard on your tummy.
- 00:03:55,944 --> 00:03:58,820 Hey, but at least you got that cool, pregnant-lady glow.
- 00:03:58,988 --> 00:04:02,282 Oh, that's seeat. You throw up all morning, you'll have that glow too.
- 00:04:11,042 --> 00:04:13,794 -Okay. -Uh, here's that trench coat you eanted.
- 00:04:13,962 --> 00:04:15,837 Oh, great. Great.
- 00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:18,799 -Wow, yeah, it's comfortable. -Yeah.
- 00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:22,302 Man, you could really flash somebody in this thing.
- 00:04:22,470 --> 00:04:25,055 Ha, ha. They don't want you to put your hands in the pockets...
- 00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:27,349 ...until you are out of the store.
- 00:04:28,434 --> 00:04:29,476 Why not?
- 00:04:29,644 --> 00:04:31,478 Well, because...
- 00:04:31,646 --> 00:04:33,897 ...we get a lot of--
- 00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:37,901 You know, they ruin it for everybody.
- 00:04:38,069 --> 00:04:39,444 I know.
- 00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:42,072 You know, I wore that cashmere sweater on a date last night.
- 00:04:43,032 --> 00:04:46,243 -Oh. -It was the first date since the divorce.
- 00:04:47,036 --> 00:04:50,330 Well, congratulations. So do you love her?
- 00:04:51,082 --> 00:04:53,750 No, no, no. She's nice, but, you know, it made me realize...
- 00:04:53,918 --> 00:04:57,004 ...I'm just not ready to be dating, you know?
- 00:04:58,131 --> 00:04:59,381 Huh.
- 00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:01,925 Well, uh....
- 00:05:02,093 --> 00:05:04,177 That's, uh-- That's interesting.
- 00:05:04,345 --> 00:05:05,721 Hey, whoa, hey.
- 00:05:05,888 --> 00:05:08,932 -What eas that? -Oh, that's just an antitheft device.
- 00:05:09,809 --> 00:05:11,310 Then what's this?
- 00:05:11,477 --> 00:05:15,731 Well, you need that too, because obviously a thief could just tear this up.
- 00:05:21,070 --> 00:05:22,654 Listen, we have to have a party tonight.
- 00:05:22,822 --> 00:05:25,866 We have to have one in five minutes, so everybody cancel your plans.
- 00:05:26,784 --> 00:05:28,243 -What? -Yeah, what's going on?
- 00:05:28,411 --> 00:05:31,496 We have to have a surprise bon-voyage party for Emily.
- 00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:33,874 But it's actually for Joshua.
- 00:05:34,834 --> 00:05:37,294 Look, he said he's not ready to date.
- 00:05:37,462 --> 00:05:40,630 So I had to invite him to a party if I wanted to see him outside work.
- 00:05:40,798 --> 00:05:45,635 And now I have created the perfect opportunity to seduce him.
- 00:05:46,137 --> 00:05:49,639 Well, as much as I'd like to meet Josh and warn him...
- 00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:53,560 ...Emily and I aren't gonna be here, all right?
- 00:05:53,728 --> 00:05:55,687 She's gonna come by first to say goodbye.
- 00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:59,941 And then I've got a ehole special evening planned. So sorry. No party.
- 00:06:00,109 --> 00:06:01,735 Aw .
- 00:06:02,945 --> 00:06:05,530 -Hello? -Surprise!
- 00:06:06,908 --> 00:06:08,784 BOTH: Surprise!
- 00:06:10,453 --> 00:06:13,038 No one's ever throen me a surprise party before.
- 00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:16,166 Well, it eas all Ross' idea.
- 00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:19,836 You're so sweet.
- 00:06:20,338 --> 00:06:22,297 And I'm so surprised.
- 00:06:26,594 --> 00:06:27,928 You really didn't knoe?
- 00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:33,433 [CORNERSHOP'S "BRIMFUL OF ASHA" PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]
- 00:06:34,685 --> 00:06:36,436 There's dancin'
- 00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:38,105 Behind movie scenes
- 00:06:38,272 --> 00:06:41,066 Why are you over here if Joshua's all the way over there?
- 00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:43,985 Uh, because I'm trying to play hard-to-get.
- 00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:48,073 Oh, quick. He's looking over here. Say something funny.
- 00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:50,283 -Like ehat? -Ha-ha-ha.
- 00:06:51,911 --> 00:06:53,495 What's so funny?
- 00:06:55,456 --> 00:06:56,540 I said, "Like what?"
- 00:06:58,543 --> 00:07:00,335 Noe that's a thinker.
- 00:07:01,504 --> 00:07:04,423 Okay, you knoe ehat? This playing-hard-to-get thing is not eorking.
- 00:07:04,590 --> 00:07:07,592 Uh, hand me those cherries. Okay.
- 00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:08,927 Okay.
- 00:07:13,683 --> 00:07:14,808 -Hi. -Hey.
- 00:07:14,976 --> 00:07:17,310 -Care for a cherry? -No, thanks.
- 00:07:17,478 --> 00:07:21,690 You know, I can tie one of these into a knot using just my tongue.
- 00:07:32,076 --> 00:07:33,702 [COUGHING]
- 00:07:34,996 --> 00:07:36,204 You okay?
- 00:07:36,831 --> 00:07:38,248 You all right?
- 00:07:43,212 --> 00:07:45,464 So we should probably get going soon.
- 00:07:45,631 --> 00:07:48,300 Oh, but the party's only just getting started.
- 00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:52,095 Yeah, but ee have to be at The Four Seasons for drinks in, oh, 1 5 minutes.
- 00:07:52,263 --> 00:07:54,473 And then, uh, you know, then the Plaza for dinner.
- 00:07:54,932 --> 00:07:57,392 So why did you plan a party at the same time?
- 00:07:58,603 --> 00:08:00,604 No, no, no. Ha, ha.
- 00:08:02,231 --> 00:08:06,485 Actually, American surprise parties are very short.
- 00:08:06,652 --> 00:08:10,989 It's usually, "Surprise!" Then, "Oh, my God, I'm so surprised. Goodbye."
- 00:08:13,117 --> 00:08:15,368 Ross, I'm having such a great time.
- 00:08:15,536 --> 00:08:19,247 Your sister has just been telling me that you used to dressed up like old ladies...
- 00:08:19,415 --> 00:08:21,875 ...and host make-believe tea parties.
- 00:08:25,254 --> 00:08:27,672 Monica said that, did she?
- 00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:31,927 Oh, yeah. Then ehat are you going to put on top of that?
- 00:08:32,094 --> 00:08:35,430 - A little salami. -Ooh, yeah. Yeah.
- 00:08:36,891 --> 00:08:38,975 Then, um, what goes on top of the salami?
- 00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:41,561 -Pastrami. -Oh, yeah.
- 00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:46,608 You're a genius.
- 00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:50,987 Can someone give me a hand with the zipper.
- 00:08:53,741 --> 00:08:55,116 Up.
- 00:08:57,912 --> 00:09:01,540 -You changed? -Yeah, I just needed my lucky dress.
- 00:09:01,707 --> 00:09:04,334 -And "lucky" means "more cleavage"? -Does for me.
- 00:09:15,805 --> 00:09:18,014 Oh, God, look at him. He's so cute.
- 00:09:18,182 --> 00:09:20,850 I just want to go over there and grab him and kiss him.
- 00:09:21,018 --> 00:09:23,478 Hoe could I kiss him without letting him know that I like him?
- 00:09:23,646 --> 00:09:26,898 Hey, I know how you can get him. Take off your bra.
- 00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:28,858 What?
- 00:09:29,026 --> 00:09:31,069 -There was a scene in Footloose-- -Flashdance.
- 00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:34,823 -Yeah, yeah. Yeah, eith that plumber girl? -She was a welder.
- 00:09:37,368 --> 00:09:39,160 Were you, like, in the movie?
- 00:09:41,539 --> 00:09:44,708 Anyway, she takes off her bra under the shirt...
- 00:09:44,875 --> 00:09:46,418 ...and pulls it out the sleeve.
- 00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:49,129 Very sexy. And classy.
- 00:09:52,925 --> 00:09:55,552 Or if you wanna kiss him, um, you could use mistletoe.
- 00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:56,803 It's not Christmas.
- 00:09:56,971 --> 00:09:58,805 -Or spin the bottle. - And he's not 1 1 .
- 00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:05,687 Thank you so much for this. It was really so thoughtful of you.
- 00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:07,105 You're leaving?
- 00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:11,109 -Yes, ee have something ee have to get to. -Uh, yeah, I think I'm gonna take off too.
- 00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:14,195 No, you guys, you can't leave yet. You have to stay.
- 00:10:14,363 --> 00:10:17,032 We've got the whole big thing planned.
- 00:10:17,658 --> 00:10:18,742 What big thing?
- 00:10:18,909 --> 00:10:21,036 RACHEL: So, Spin-The-Bottle works like this.
- 00:10:21,203 --> 00:10:22,704 I spin the bottle.
- 00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:25,624 Lands on Gunther, so I would have to kiss Gunther.
- 00:10:27,209 --> 00:10:28,418 All right.
- 00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:31,463 Who wants to go first?
- 00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:32,922 I'll go.
- 00:10:33,090 --> 00:10:34,299 [ALL CHEERING]
- 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:37,135 [RACHEL SHOUTS]
- 00:10:38,137 --> 00:10:40,263 Welcome to America.
- 00:10:42,391 --> 00:10:43,642 RACHEL: Oh.
- 00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:46,019 All right.
- 00:10:46,979 --> 00:10:48,521 RACHEL: Oh, my God.
- 00:10:48,689 --> 00:10:52,359 Oh, my gosh. Two in a roe. You gotta use your tongues now.
- 00:10:58,074 --> 00:10:59,783 All right.
- 00:11:01,369 --> 00:11:03,119 What are the odds? What are the odds?
- 00:11:05,039 --> 00:11:07,540 Okay, that's enough, you know. Ha, ha.
- 00:11:08,459 --> 00:11:10,752 Let's let someone else play.
- 00:11:12,088 --> 00:11:14,923 Hey, if you didn't eant to play, then why'd you come to the party?
- 00:11:16,884 --> 00:11:18,426 Okay, my turn.
- 00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:23,682 Oh! Look at that.
- 00:11:23,849 --> 00:11:25,475 Oh, my God.
- 00:11:29,313 --> 00:11:30,730 Oh, my God. The baby just kicked.
- 00:11:30,898 --> 00:11:31,940 [ALL SHOUT]
- 00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:34,943 It's okay, it's okay. If it kicked once, it'll kick again.
- 00:11:35,111 --> 00:11:36,653 [ALL CHATTERING]
- 00:11:38,781 --> 00:11:43,284 All right, well, everybody just remember where they were sitting.
- 00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:54,045 It was a bug.
- 00:11:56,799 --> 00:11:58,591 It doesn't matter hoe much I'm craving it.
- 00:11:58,759 --> 00:12:02,220 You know why I'm never gonna eat meat? Because it's cold-blooded murder.
- 00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:04,556 Okay.
- 00:12:09,895 --> 00:12:12,355 There's a Phoebe on my sandwich.
- 00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:15,525 Phoebe, what are you doing?
- 00:12:15,693 --> 00:12:17,944 I can't help it.
- 00:12:18,112 --> 00:12:21,030 I need the meat. The baby needs the meat.
- 00:12:21,490 --> 00:12:23,241 You know how when you're dating someone...
- 00:12:23,409 --> 00:12:26,995 ...and you don't want to cheat on them unless it's with someone really hot?
- 00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:32,000 -Yeah, totally. -All right, okay.
- 00:12:32,168 --> 00:12:33,752 Well, this is the same kind of deal.
- 00:12:33,919 --> 00:12:36,671 If you're gonna do something wrong...
- 00:12:38,340 --> 00:12:39,382 ...do it right.
- 00:12:46,182 --> 00:12:47,640 Feel better?
- 00:12:47,808 --> 00:12:49,976 Yeah, but at what cost?
- 00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:52,979 Six more months, three meals a day?
- 00:12:53,147 --> 00:12:57,108 I'm gonna eat like, you know, millions of coes.
- 00:12:58,903 --> 00:13:02,572 Hey, what if I said I could even things out for you, meat-wise?
- 00:13:02,740 --> 00:13:04,949 -What? -Well, I eat a lot of meat, right?
- 00:13:05,117 --> 00:13:08,036 -Yeah. -But suppose, until the baby's born...
- 00:13:08,204 --> 00:13:09,412 ...I laid off it.
- 00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:12,957 No extra animals would die. You'd just be eating my animals.
- 00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:16,503 Joey, I can't believe you'd do that for me.
- 00:13:16,670 --> 00:13:20,673 Absolutely. I could be a vegetarian.
- 00:13:20,841 --> 00:13:23,343 There's no meat in beer, right?
- 00:13:23,886 --> 00:13:26,429 Okay, we can still make dinner if ee skip the appetizers...
- 00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:28,765 ...and ask for our check right aeay.
- 00:13:32,686 --> 00:13:35,980 We can't go noe. Looks like Rachel is going to put on a skit.
- 00:13:38,108 --> 00:13:40,777 Oh, my God. Have you lost your mind?
- 00:13:41,570 --> 00:13:44,280 No, no, no. I am finally thinking clearly.
- 00:13:46,075 --> 00:13:48,201 My lucky dress wasn't working out too well for me.
- 00:13:48,369 --> 00:13:51,788 But for four years, this baby never missed.
- 00:13:51,956 --> 00:13:54,999 Rachel, wait, I can't let--
- 00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:57,460 Actually, I kind of want to see what happens.
- 00:14:00,005 --> 00:14:01,130 -Hey. -Hey.
- 00:14:01,298 --> 00:14:03,216 Nice, uh, costume.
- 00:14:03,384 --> 00:14:04,676 Oh, yeah.
- 00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:09,180 Well, I wanted to give Emily a big American goodbye cheer.
- 00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:12,600 So okay. Whoo!
- 00:14:14,770 --> 00:14:17,063 Ready. Okay.
- 00:14:17,231 --> 00:14:18,857 -Give me an "E." GROUP: E.
- 00:14:19,024 --> 00:14:20,650 -Give me an "M." GROUP: M.
- 00:14:20,818 --> 00:14:22,443 -Give me an "I." GROUP: l.
- 00:14:22,611 --> 00:14:23,778 -Give me an "L." GROUP: L.
- 00:14:23,946 --> 00:14:25,613 -Give me a "Y." GROUP: Y.
- 00:14:25,781 --> 00:14:27,615 What do you get?
- 00:14:27,783 --> 00:14:30,159 Oh! Emily.
- 00:14:30,327 --> 00:14:32,161 Whoo! Emily.
- 00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:33,788 [THUD]
- 00:14:35,332 --> 00:14:38,376 Okay. That's me as a cheerleader. Ta-da!
- 00:14:40,504 --> 00:14:42,255 -You all right? -I just loosened a tooth.
- 00:14:42,423 --> 00:14:44,299 It's no big deal. I have a dentist, you knoe?
- 00:14:44,466 --> 00:14:47,218 I'm gonna go put some ice on it. Excuse me.
- 00:14:49,305 --> 00:14:51,848 -What do I do now? What do I do now? -I think you're done.
- 00:14:53,851 --> 00:14:55,143 Okay, time to take off the bra.
- 00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:56,769 [GROANS]
- 00:14:57,313 --> 00:14:58,521 [CLEARS THROAT]
- 00:14:59,148 --> 00:15:02,317 Uh, that was really great.
- 00:15:03,027 --> 00:15:04,944 But I got to take off, actually.
- 00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:08,072 Take the bra off.
- 00:15:11,660 --> 00:15:13,328 All right, come on, let's go get your coat.
- 00:15:13,495 --> 00:15:14,621 Okay.
- 00:15:16,790 --> 00:15:18,374 Rachel's my girlfriend.
- 00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:24,380 So this was really fun.
- 00:15:24,548 --> 00:15:26,257 Oh, yeah, it eas real fun.
- 00:15:31,430 --> 00:15:33,306 You know, this bra...
- 00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:38,269 ...is really bothering me.
- 00:15:39,897 --> 00:15:41,481 You know, this used to be my bedroom.
- 00:15:42,066 --> 00:15:43,149 Yeah.
- 00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:47,695 A lot of memories in here. Lot of memories.
- 00:15:48,197 --> 00:15:50,239 If these ealls could talk, you know what they'd say?
- 00:15:50,616 --> 00:15:52,742 "Want to hear some memories?"
- 00:15:59,208 --> 00:16:00,583 Need a--? Need a little hand there?
- 00:16:00,751 --> 00:16:02,794 Oh, no, no, no. No, I got this all under control.
- 00:16:04,922 --> 00:16:07,298 You really don't seem like you do.
- 00:16:10,386 --> 00:16:11,761 [SHOUTS]
- 00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:16,724 God. Forget it! Oh, this is--
- 00:16:19,061 --> 00:16:22,105 This is not how this was supposed to happen.
- 00:16:22,272 --> 00:16:23,690 What eas supposed to happen?
- 00:16:25,734 --> 00:16:27,610 Can you not look at me when I say this?
- 00:16:31,907 --> 00:16:35,368 I thought that if I could get you here...
- 00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:36,577 [SIGHS]
- 00:16:36,745 --> 00:16:38,746 ...I could seduce you.
- 00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:40,957 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:16:41,792 --> 00:16:43,334 [GROANS]
- 00:16:43,502 --> 00:16:48,297 Uh, I don't wear suits to work...
- 00:16:48,465 --> 00:16:51,009 ...and I bought six of them from you.
- 00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:54,929 Well, I'm sorry. I thought you needed them.
- 00:16:56,515 --> 00:17:00,518 My point is, I kept coming back because I wanted to see you.
- 00:17:01,437 --> 00:17:03,855 -Why? -Because I like you.
- 00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:06,566 You like me?
- 00:17:06,817 --> 00:17:08,109 Yeah.
- 00:17:08,277 --> 00:17:13,031 I mean, you're beautiful and smart and sophisticated.
- 00:17:13,198 --> 00:17:15,324 A lot of this isn't, you know, based on tonight.
- 00:17:18,203 --> 00:17:19,662 But you like me?
- 00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:24,000 Oh, my God. I can't believe this. All this time, I liked you and you liked me.
- 00:17:24,168 --> 00:17:25,209 Oh!
- 00:17:26,295 --> 00:17:28,046 -But-- -No don't say "but."
- 00:17:28,213 --> 00:17:32,675 "But" is never good. Let's leave it at "I like you and you like me."
- 00:17:33,802 --> 00:17:35,136 Okay, uh....
- 00:17:35,304 --> 00:17:38,139 -Hoeever-- -No, that's a fancy "but."
- 00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:44,479 My marriage, like, just ended.
- 00:17:44,646 --> 00:17:48,858 And I'm really not ready to get into anything yet.
- 00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:51,778 But....
- 00:17:53,947 --> 00:17:57,116 I'm sorry. I just need a little time.
- 00:18:01,163 --> 00:18:02,455 Okay.
- 00:18:06,543 --> 00:18:09,337 Oh, there you are. I was looking for you before.
- 00:18:09,505 --> 00:18:12,548 Joshua's gone, so you and Emily are free to go.
- 00:18:12,966 --> 00:18:14,467 It's okay.
- 00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:17,512 She's still in there enjoying her fake party.
- 00:18:17,679 --> 00:18:21,808 And, uh, it's too late to do any of the stuff I had planned, so....
- 00:18:22,643 --> 00:18:24,185 Ross.
- 00:18:24,353 --> 00:18:26,604 I'm sorry. I completely ruined your evening.
- 00:18:26,772 --> 00:18:28,648 Ahem. Yeah.
- 00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:34,237 Well, if it makes you feel any better, I made a fool of myself.
- 00:18:36,031 --> 00:18:37,073 Helps a little.
- 00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:42,036 Is there a room on that step for a pathetic loser?
- 00:18:42,204 --> 00:18:44,205 Yeah, have a seat.
- 00:18:50,671 --> 00:18:52,713 I'm so sorry.
- 00:18:52,881 --> 00:18:53,923 It's okay.
- 00:18:54,091 --> 00:18:57,093 I mean, it eas just a two-eeek thing anyway.
- 00:18:57,261 --> 00:18:59,720 I just didn't eant it to end this eay, you know.
- 00:18:59,888 --> 00:19:02,306 Or maybe you didn't want it to end?
- 00:19:03,475 --> 00:19:05,143 What do you mean?
- 00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:07,728 You seem to really like her.
- 00:19:10,107 --> 00:19:11,774 Yeah, I really do.
- 00:19:13,652 --> 00:19:15,027 Yeah, but ehat am I gonna do?
- 00:19:15,195 --> 00:19:17,780 We both agreed it eas gonna be a teo-week thing.
- 00:19:17,948 --> 00:19:19,782 You know? No commitment.
- 00:19:21,702 --> 00:19:23,077 Ross?
- 00:19:24,246 --> 00:19:28,916 That girl just spent the entire evening talking to your friends...
- 00:19:29,084 --> 00:19:31,669 ...asking to hear stories about you...
- 00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:34,422 ...looking through Monica's photo albums.
- 00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:37,675 I mean, you don't do that if you're just in it for teo weeks.
- 00:19:38,468 --> 00:19:39,969 You think?
- 00:19:41,263 --> 00:19:45,892 You've got, like, 14 hours until she has to be at the airport.
- 00:19:46,059 --> 00:19:48,519 And you're sitting here in a hallway...
- 00:19:48,687 --> 00:19:51,898 ...with a 28-year-old cheerleader with a fat lip.
- 00:19:55,444 --> 00:19:57,778 -Hey, you're right. -Yeah.
- 00:20:02,659 --> 00:20:04,035 Thanks.
- 00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:10,374 What photo album was it?
- 00:20:11,293 --> 00:20:13,920 I don't know. It was you and a bunch of albino kids.
- 00:20:17,299 --> 00:20:19,759 Oh, my God. Those eeren't albino kids.
- 00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:22,011 That eas computer camp. Rach.
- 00:20:26,683 --> 00:20:27,767 -Hey. -Hey.
- 00:20:27,935 --> 00:20:31,437 -You're a pathetic loser, right? -Oh, yeah.
- 00:20:32,356 --> 00:20:33,814 Sit.
- 00:20:39,863 --> 00:20:41,197 JOSHUA: Hi.
- 00:20:41,365 --> 00:20:43,824 Oh, my God. Joshua.
- 00:20:44,451 --> 00:20:45,701 Look.
- 00:20:46,161 --> 00:20:49,288 All those things I said about not being ready--
- 00:20:49,623 --> 00:20:52,041 -They're not true? -No, they're all true.
- 00:20:52,209 --> 00:20:53,501 Oh.
- 00:20:54,836 --> 00:20:55,878 But....
- 00:20:56,046 --> 00:20:57,338 Oh.
- 00:20:59,424 --> 00:21:00,758 Oh, I love that "but."
- 00:21:11,311 --> 00:21:13,646 Um, do you eant to go inside and get some coffee?
- 00:21:13,814 --> 00:21:15,856 -Yeah. -Okay.
- 00:21:16,024 --> 00:21:17,400 [CLEARS THROAT]
- 00:21:22,823 --> 00:21:25,032 Every time.
- 00:21:29,705 --> 00:21:32,707 -Ooh, ehat do you got there? -Pastrami.
- 00:21:33,333 --> 00:21:34,667 Yeah.
- 00:21:36,253 --> 00:21:38,838 -Hey, you know what goes good with that? -Mm-hm. Corned beef.
- 00:21:40,716 --> 00:21:43,718 Ooh, I was going to say bologna. But that's better.
- 00:21:44,845 --> 00:21:47,388 -Hoe about a little of that smoked turkey? -Okay.
- 00:21:49,558 --> 00:21:51,225 Oh, Mama.
- 00:21:52,477 --> 00:21:55,021 -When is the baby due? -Six months.
- 00:21:55,188 --> 00:21:56,397 [GROANS]
- 00:21:56,565 --> 00:21:58,774 Hey, noe, if a coe should die of natural causes...
- 00:21:58,942 --> 00:22:01,027 ...I could have one of those, right?
- 00:22:01,194 --> 00:22:03,279 Not if I get there first.
- 00:22:07,784 --> 00:22:09,785 [English - US - SDH]
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