Эпизод с наручниками
Описание
Джоуи заинтригован, когда к нему в квартиру приходит коммивояжер, торгующий энциклопедиями, поскольку он всегда чувствовал себя обделенным вниманием во время интеллектуальных бесед с компанией. Однако Джоуи может позволить себе купить только пробный том и становится осведомленным лишь в вопросах, начинающихся на букву «В». Моника готовит угощения для своей матери, но мини-киши оказываются испорчены, когда один из ее накладных ногтей теряется в одном из них. Затем Джуди признается, что ожидала, что Моника все испортит, поэтому купила замороженную лазанью на всякий случай. Моника, расстроенная тем, что мать никогда в нее не верила, в последнюю минуту готовит вкусные блюда, чтобы доказать матери, что та ошибалась. В итоге Джуди впечатлена, и они мирятся. Тем временем Чендлер снова начинает встречаться с начальницей Рэйчел, Джоанной, но попадает в неприятную ситуацию, когда Джоанна надевает на него наручники в своем кабинете, а затем уходит на встречу, которая задерживается, оставляя его на несколько часов. Рейчел приходит в ярость, когда, пробравшись в кабинет Джоанны (полагая, что та составляет список сотрудников, которые получат рождественскую премию), обнаруживает там Чендлера без штанов, ведь он много раз обещал разорвать отношения, но так и не сделал этого.
Субтитры
- 00:00:03,336 --> 00:00:05,713 Hey. We are so in luck.
- 00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:08,465 Treeger said we could have all this cool stuff from the basement.
- 00:00:08,883 --> 00:00:10,509 Wait right there.
- 00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:13,095 Oh, no, no. I'm paddling away.
- 00:00:14,723 --> 00:00:15,931 Huh?
- 00:00:16,099 --> 00:00:19,643 Wow. Really? We got all this rusty crap for free?
- 00:00:21,104 --> 00:00:23,856 Uh-huh. This and a bunch of bubble wrap...
- 00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:26,316 ...and some of it is not even popped.
- 00:00:28,778 --> 00:00:30,070 [CHIRPING AND QUACKING]
- 00:00:34,284 --> 00:00:35,909 Could we be more white trash?
- 00:01:26,711 --> 00:01:28,754 How desperate am I?
- 00:01:29,005 --> 00:01:32,257 Oh, good thing Chandler's not here. He always wins at this game.
- 00:01:33,176 --> 00:01:35,469 I just told my mom I'd cater her party for her.
- 00:01:35,637 --> 00:01:38,138 - How come? - Because I need the money.
- 00:01:38,306 --> 00:01:42,810 And I thought it'd be a great way to get rid of that last little smidgen of self-respect.
- 00:01:42,977 --> 00:01:44,937 Come on, I think this is a good thing.
- 00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:46,688 I don't think Mom would've hired you...
- 00:01:46,856 --> 00:01:48,857 ...if she didn't think you were good at what you do.
- 00:01:49,234 --> 00:01:52,444 You don't have to stick up for her. She can't hear you.
- 00:01:54,864 --> 00:01:57,032 Hey, um, do you guys have any juice?
- 00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:58,575 Just pickle.
- 00:02:00,370 --> 00:02:01,703 Hey, uh, Rach. Funny story.
- 00:02:01,871 --> 00:02:03,789 I bumped into Joanna on the street yesterday.
- 00:02:04,874 --> 00:02:07,543 My boss, Joanna? Wow, that must have been awkward.
- 00:02:07,710 --> 00:02:10,420 Well, no. Actually, she asked me if I wanted to get a drink.
- 00:02:10,588 --> 00:02:12,214 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:15,134 You, uh, didn't say yes to that, did you?
- 00:02:15,301 --> 00:02:18,554 Ha, ha. No. No.
- 00:02:18,721 --> 00:02:20,347 Hello, Rachel.
- 00:02:24,519 --> 00:02:26,103 Well, not at first.
- 00:02:27,564 --> 00:02:29,273 What is she doing here?
- 00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:31,316 [MIMICKING SOUND OF SQUEAKING BED]
- 00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:36,238 I don't understand.
- 00:02:36,406 --> 00:02:38,574 Last time you went out with her, you said she was a dud.
- 00:02:38,741 --> 00:02:40,200 I think I judged her too quickly.
- 00:02:40,368 --> 00:02:43,579 And this time, we were able to take the relationship to the next level.
- 00:02:43,746 --> 00:02:45,914 [MIMICKING SOUND OF SQUEAKING BED]
- 00:02:46,749 --> 00:02:51,378 Well, last time, I almost got fired. You must end it. You must end it now.
- 00:02:51,546 --> 00:02:53,922 It's not like this is an everyday occurrence for me.
- 00:02:54,090 --> 00:02:56,466 I mean, usually I'm pretty much in there by myself.
- 00:02:56,634 --> 00:02:59,094 [MIMICKING SOUND OF SQUEAKING BED]
- 00:03:01,347 --> 00:03:02,973 RACHEL: Chandler.
- 00:03:03,141 --> 00:03:05,893 Promise me you will end it.
- 00:03:06,060 --> 00:03:09,897 - Okay. I promise I'll end it. - Thank you.
- 00:03:10,064 --> 00:03:11,899 But I hope you know what I'm giving up for you.
- 00:03:12,066 --> 00:03:14,484 Because she's not just the boss in your office.
- 00:03:14,652 --> 00:03:16,153 You know what I mean?
- 00:03:16,487 --> 00:03:17,779 Yeah.
- 00:03:20,825 --> 00:03:22,492 Oh, sorry. I knew what he meant.
- 00:03:27,874 --> 00:03:29,875 How's the hired help?
- 00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:32,502 Doing great. Quiches are coming along.
- 00:03:32,670 --> 00:03:34,796 What's this? Blue nail polish?
- 00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:37,758 Yeah, I thought it was cute.
- 00:03:37,926 --> 00:03:41,386 Ha. It's what your grandmother's hands looked like when we found her.
- 00:03:44,349 --> 00:03:46,516 Let me ask you a question.
- 00:03:46,976 --> 00:03:48,185 Why did you hire me?
- 00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:51,396 Oh, well, Richard raved about the food at his party...
- 00:03:51,564 --> 00:03:53,315 ...of course, you were sleeping with him.
- 00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:56,860 Then I heard the food at that lesbian wedding was very nice.
- 00:03:57,028 --> 00:03:59,947 I assume you weren't sleeping with anyone there.
- 00:04:00,114 --> 00:04:02,491 Though, at least that would be something.
- 00:04:04,327 --> 00:04:07,037 Oh, my God. Did you hear that?
- 00:04:07,205 --> 00:04:09,706 She hired me because she thinks I'm good.
- 00:04:12,335 --> 00:04:13,502 Okay, I didn't hear that.
- 00:04:14,963 --> 00:04:17,256 Yeah. She didn't hire me out of pity.
- 00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:19,675 It wasn't so she could pick on me in front of her friends.
- 00:04:19,842 --> 00:04:21,593 She actually thinks I'm good.
- 00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:25,347 Wow. And hey, it's cool if you're a lesbian. Ha, ha.
- 00:04:35,024 --> 00:04:36,817 [KNOCKING ON DOOR]
- 00:04:40,738 --> 00:04:44,032 Good afternoon. Are you the decision-maker of the house?
- 00:04:44,575 --> 00:04:45,951 Uh...
- 00:04:50,248 --> 00:04:53,417 Do you, uh, currently own a set of encyclopedias?
- 00:04:53,584 --> 00:04:57,546 No, no, but, uh, try the classifieds. People sell everything in there.
- 00:04:57,714 --> 00:05:00,674 Actually, I'm not buying. I'm selling.
- 00:05:00,842 --> 00:05:02,718 Let me ask you one question.
- 00:05:03,219 --> 00:05:05,721 Do your friends ever have a conversation...
- 00:05:05,888 --> 00:05:07,389 ...and you just nod along...
- 00:05:07,557 --> 00:05:10,434 ...even though you're not really sure what they're talking about?
- 00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:18,233 I'm telling you, it's totally unconstitutional.
- 00:05:18,401 --> 00:05:20,652 - I hear you. Yeah it is. - I totally agree.
- 00:05:22,238 --> 00:05:24,448 I think he deserves a Nobel Prize.
- 00:05:24,615 --> 00:05:26,408 GROUP: No.
- 00:05:28,661 --> 00:05:31,246 It was like the Algonquin kids' table.
- 00:05:31,414 --> 00:05:32,539 [ALL LAUGHING]
- 00:05:35,418 --> 00:05:36,960 Excuse me. I'm sorry.
- 00:05:37,128 --> 00:05:39,671 You haven't said anything for about two and a half minutes.
- 00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:42,090 Are you at all interested?
- 00:05:42,383 --> 00:05:45,761 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, oh, yeah. Come on in. Come on.
- 00:05:48,765 --> 00:05:50,349 - That's weird. - What?
- 00:05:50,516 --> 00:05:51,641 Your nails.
- 00:05:51,809 --> 00:05:53,226 Oh, I know. I never wear fake ones.
- 00:05:53,394 --> 00:05:56,188 I just did it so my mom wouldn't give me grief about biting them.
- 00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:59,566 No, I meant it's weird that you only have nine now.
- 00:06:02,487 --> 00:06:04,112 Oh, my God.
- 00:06:05,114 --> 00:06:06,615 Wait a minute.
- 00:06:06,783 --> 00:06:08,575 I had them when I put...
- 00:06:08,743 --> 00:06:10,494 Oh, my God. It's in the quiche.
- 00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:13,830 - Oh, my God. - Okay, don't panic.
- 00:06:13,998 --> 00:06:16,208 I'm gonna go to the store, get you another set of nails.
- 00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:19,252 No one is gonna know, and you're gonna look great.
- 00:06:20,963 --> 00:06:24,466 Oh. Oh, it's because they're gonna eat... That's the problem.
- 00:06:26,010 --> 00:06:27,928 Honey, don't bite your nails.
- 00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:32,974 Okay, uh, please don't freak out.
- 00:06:33,142 --> 00:06:37,145 Um, but there's a blue fingernail in one of the quiche cups.
- 00:06:37,313 --> 00:06:39,731 And there's no way to know which one.
- 00:06:42,026 --> 00:06:45,612 And whoever finds it wins the prize.
- 00:06:46,447 --> 00:06:48,323 Ha, ha. I'm not freaking out.
- 00:06:48,491 --> 00:06:49,658 Why are you laughing?
- 00:06:49,826 --> 00:06:52,202 It's nothing. It's just that now your father owes me $5.
- 00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:54,371 Ha, ha. What, you bet I'd lose a nail?
- 00:06:54,539 --> 00:06:57,999 Oh, no, don't be silly. I just bet that I'd need these.
- 00:06:58,167 --> 00:06:59,918 MONICA: Frozen lasagnas? - Mm.
- 00:07:01,838 --> 00:07:04,089 You bet that I'd screw up?
- 00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:06,842 So all that stuff about hiring me because I was good was...
- 00:07:07,009 --> 00:07:08,552 No, that was all true.
- 00:07:08,719 --> 00:07:11,513 This was just in case you pulled a Monica.
- 00:07:12,056 --> 00:07:15,684 You promised Dr. Weinberg you'd never use that phrase.
- 00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:18,186 Honey, come on. Have a sense of humor.
- 00:07:18,354 --> 00:07:20,397 You're never able to laugh at yourself.
- 00:07:20,565 --> 00:07:22,691 That's right. Ha, ha.
- 00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:25,777 My mom doesn't have any faith in me. Oh, that's hilarious.
- 00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:27,988 [LAUGHING SARCASTICALLY]
- 00:07:28,156 --> 00:07:29,656 I don't get it.
- 00:07:31,075 --> 00:07:32,826 No. I have faith.
- 00:07:32,994 --> 00:07:35,120 No. You have lasagnas.
- 00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:42,502 [OVEN BELL RINGS]
- 00:07:42,670 --> 00:07:44,171 Oh, the ruined quiches are ready.
- 00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:55,849 It just doesn't feel like we're breaking up.
- 00:07:56,893 --> 00:07:59,769 No, we are. I'm sad.
- 00:08:00,897 --> 00:08:02,564 Okay.
- 00:08:03,191 --> 00:08:04,816 [PHONE RINGS]
- 00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:06,902 Yes?
- 00:08:07,612 --> 00:08:10,489 Uh, can you wait till tomorrow? All right.
- 00:08:10,656 --> 00:08:11,823 [SIGHS]
- 00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:13,700 Unbelievable.
- 00:08:14,410 --> 00:08:15,785 Thanks.
- 00:08:17,079 --> 00:08:19,206 No, no. That was my boss. I have to go.
- 00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:20,957 Okay.
- 00:08:21,375 --> 00:08:22,584 What are you doing?
- 00:08:22,752 --> 00:08:24,586 - I'm getting dressed. - Why?
- 00:08:25,254 --> 00:08:28,131 When I walk outside naked, people throw garbage at me.
- 00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:31,468 Wait. I want to show you something.
- 00:08:32,136 --> 00:08:33,637 What is it?
- 00:08:33,804 --> 00:08:36,264 Just a little gag gift somebody gave me.
- 00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:38,099 Put your hands together.
- 00:08:38,267 --> 00:08:39,684 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:08:39,977 --> 00:08:41,978 You're not the boss of me.
- 00:08:44,065 --> 00:08:45,815 Yeah, you are.
- 00:08:48,444 --> 00:08:50,612 Hmm. Saucy.
- 00:08:56,077 --> 00:08:57,827 I'll be back in two minutes.
- 00:08:59,288 --> 00:09:01,331 You're, uh...? You're going to leave me like this?
- 00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:05,460 Knowing you're here waiting for me, I think that's kind of exciting, don't you?
- 00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:07,963 Okay, but if you don't come back soon...
- 00:09:08,130 --> 00:09:09,130 [DOOR CLOSES]
- 00:09:09,298 --> 00:09:12,008 ...there's pretty much nothing I can do about it.
- 00:09:14,428 --> 00:09:17,472 - Oh. - Hi. I brought you back a macaroon.
- 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:20,475 Oh, great. I'll keep it in my butt with your nose.
- 00:09:28,192 --> 00:09:29,651 That's weird. She locked the door.
- 00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:33,029 You know why? She's got the Christmas bonus list in there.
- 00:09:33,197 --> 00:09:34,906 I saw her working on it this morning.
- 00:09:35,783 --> 00:09:37,993 Okay, swear you won't tell.
- 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:40,620 But when Mark left, he gave me a key to Joanna's office.
- 00:09:40,955 --> 00:09:43,582 - You want to see the list? SOPHIE: Yeah.
- 00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:45,375 [RACHEL CLEARS THROAT]
- 00:09:46,460 --> 00:09:47,919 [RACHEL & SOPHIE GASP]
- 00:09:53,676 --> 00:09:55,135 Hi.
- 00:09:57,138 --> 00:09:58,263 How are you?
- 00:10:07,982 --> 00:10:09,399 [PHONE RINGING]
- 00:10:21,203 --> 00:10:23,163 Hello, Joanna...
- 00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:28,376 - 's office.
- 00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:32,213 JOANNA [OVER PHONE]: I'm sorry. I may be a little longer.
- 00:10:32,381 --> 00:10:35,008 - How little? - A couple hours. I feel awful.
- 00:10:35,176 --> 00:10:37,510 Look, this isn't funny. You get back here now.
- 00:10:37,678 --> 00:10:38,970 - I can't. - Why not?
- 00:10:39,138 --> 00:10:40,930 I'm in my boss' car.
- 00:10:41,098 --> 00:10:43,016 - What? - Uh-oh, tunnel.
- 00:10:43,184 --> 00:10:44,934 [STATIC HISSING]
- 00:10:52,818 --> 00:10:58,865 [INTERCOM BUZZES]
- 00:11:00,576 --> 00:11:01,660 What?
- 00:11:01,827 --> 00:11:04,663 CHANDLER [OVER INTERCOM]: Rachel, could I see you for a moment?
- 00:11:11,879 --> 00:11:14,422 Okay, here's the situation. Ahem.
- 00:11:14,590 --> 00:11:16,966 The keys to the cuffs are on the back of the door.
- 00:11:17,134 --> 00:11:18,551 Could you be a doll...
- 00:11:18,719 --> 00:11:22,055 ...and grab them and scoot on over here and unlock me?
- 00:11:23,307 --> 00:11:26,893 And on a totally separate subject, that is a lovely pantsuit.
- 00:11:29,313 --> 00:11:32,315 You promised you would break up with her.
- 00:11:32,483 --> 00:11:36,653 I did break up with her. She just took it really, really well.
- 00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:42,450 And the fact that you were jeopardizing my career never entered your mind?
- 00:11:42,618 --> 00:11:44,035 It did enter my mind.
- 00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:48,206 But then something happened that made it shoot right out.
- 00:11:49,750 --> 00:11:50,875 You know what, Chandler?
- 00:11:51,043 --> 00:11:54,129 You got yourself into those cuffs, you get yourself out them.
- 00:11:54,296 --> 00:11:57,882 No, no, no. I can't get myself right out of them.
- 00:11:58,050 --> 00:12:01,136 You must have me confused with the Amazing Chandler.
- 00:12:02,179 --> 00:12:03,722 Come on, you have to unlock me.
- 00:12:03,889 --> 00:12:06,433 She could be gone for hours, and I'm cold and...
- 00:12:08,978 --> 00:12:11,813 Ugh! Chandler. All right. This is it.
- 00:12:11,981 --> 00:12:13,481 You never see Joanna again.
- 00:12:13,858 --> 00:12:14,899 Never.
- 00:12:15,067 --> 00:12:18,236 - You never come into this office again. - Fine.
- 00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:21,156 - You give me back my Walkman. - I...
- 00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:24,075 I never borrowed your Walkman.
- 00:12:25,202 --> 00:12:26,911 Well, then I lost it. You buy me one.
- 00:12:27,079 --> 00:12:30,790 You got it. Here we go. Come on. This is great.
- 00:12:32,543 --> 00:12:34,544 - Aw. - Does it hurt?
- 00:12:35,087 --> 00:12:38,965 No, I just always see guys doing this when they get handcuffs taken off.
- 00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:43,511 Hello, sweet pants.
- 00:12:44,513 --> 00:12:46,681 Wait a minute. What are you gonna tell Joanna?
- 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:48,683 About what?
- 00:12:48,851 --> 00:12:52,854 When she sees that you're gone, she's gonna know I let you out and I'm gonna get fired.
- 00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:55,190 I'll make something up. I'm good at lying.
- 00:12:55,357 --> 00:12:57,150 I actually did borrow your Walkman.
- 00:12:57,735 --> 00:13:00,737 No, there's nothing to make up. She's gonna know I have a key to her office.
- 00:13:00,905 --> 00:13:02,947 I've gotta get you locked back the way you were.
- 00:13:03,115 --> 00:13:05,658 Oh, I don't think so.
- 00:13:06,202 --> 00:13:08,787 [CHANDLER & RACHEL GRUNTING]
- 00:13:16,837 --> 00:13:18,338 Well, this is much better.
- 00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:23,802 So here's somebody interesting, Joey.
- 00:13:23,969 --> 00:13:26,387 What do you know about Van Gogh?
- 00:13:26,555 --> 00:13:29,140 - Uh, he cut off his ear. - And?
- 00:13:29,725 --> 00:13:31,184 I'm out.
- 00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:33,394 He painted that.
- 00:13:33,771 --> 00:13:36,523 Wow. That's pretty nice.
- 00:13:36,690 --> 00:13:39,567 I thought he cut off his ear because he sucked.
- 00:13:39,735 --> 00:13:42,695 - What else you got in there? - Let's see, uh...
- 00:13:43,113 --> 00:13:45,490 - Where does the Pope live? - In the woods.
- 00:13:47,284 --> 00:13:49,828 Wait, wait, that's the joke answer.
- 00:13:50,579 --> 00:13:52,831 Actually, it's Vatican City.
- 00:13:52,998 --> 00:13:56,668 Now, uh, what do you know about, uh, vulcanized rubber?
- 00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:58,753 Spock's birth control.
- 00:13:58,921 --> 00:14:00,755 [BOTH LAUGHING]
- 00:14:00,923 --> 00:14:03,007 You need these books.
- 00:14:05,719 --> 00:14:07,053 [KNOCKING ON DOOR]
- 00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:10,139 - Hey. - Hi.
- 00:14:10,599 --> 00:14:12,725 This used to be your room?
- 00:14:12,893 --> 00:14:16,229 Wow. Oh, you must have been in really good shape as a kid.
- 00:14:18,607 --> 00:14:21,359 Oh, I'm such an idiot.
- 00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:24,529 I can't believe I actually thought she could change.
- 00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:27,448 Look, who cares what your mom thinks?
- 00:14:27,616 --> 00:14:29,742 So you pulled a Monica.
- 00:14:30,828 --> 00:14:33,037 Oh, good. I'm glad that's catching on.
- 00:14:33,247 --> 00:14:36,791 Why does that have to be a bad thing? Just change what it means.
- 00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:39,544 You know, go down there and prove your mother wrong.
- 00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:43,381 You finish the job you were hired to do and we'll call that "pulling a Monica."
- 00:14:44,008 --> 00:14:45,049 What?
- 00:14:45,801 --> 00:14:49,178 Okay, um, if a kid gets straight A's, his parents would say:
- 00:14:49,346 --> 00:14:50,889 "Yeah, you pulled a Monica." Ha, ha.
- 00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:56,269 Oh, or a fireman saves a baby, and they go, "Yeah, no, he pulled a Monica."
- 00:14:57,938 --> 00:15:00,648 Or someone hits a home run, and the announcer says:
- 00:15:00,816 --> 00:15:02,358 "Yeah, that one's out of here."
- 00:15:02,526 --> 00:15:04,527 Because some things don't change.
- 00:15:06,071 --> 00:15:08,573 All right. I'll go down there.
- 00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:12,076 But I'm not gonna serve the lasagna. I'm gonna serve something that I make.
- 00:15:12,661 --> 00:15:13,870 Wait.
- 00:15:16,832 --> 00:15:18,041 Ooh.
- 00:15:18,459 --> 00:15:20,627 Oh! Wow.
- 00:15:21,003 --> 00:15:23,630 Wow, my breasts are really strong.
- 00:15:27,009 --> 00:15:28,176 [BOTH GRUNTING]
- 00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:30,595 RACHEL: Chandler.
- 00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:33,640 Chandler, please. I have to get you locked up back the way you were.
- 00:15:33,807 --> 00:15:35,600 I'm so going to lose my job.
- 00:15:35,768 --> 00:15:38,853 She's very private about her office.
- 00:15:39,021 --> 00:15:40,897 Now I know why.
- 00:15:41,065 --> 00:15:43,107 Hey, look. You're in trouble either way, okay?
- 00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:45,777 If she comes and sees me locked to this instead of the chair...
- 00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:49,489 ...she's gonna know you were in here. So you might as well just let me go.
- 00:15:52,201 --> 00:15:55,370 - I'll clean your bathroom for a month. - Still wouldn't be clean.
- 00:15:56,413 --> 00:15:58,873 All I want is my freedom.
- 00:16:00,125 --> 00:16:01,960 - Foot rubs for a month. - Freedom.
- 00:16:02,127 --> 00:16:04,337 I'll take all your photos and put them into albums.
- 00:16:04,505 --> 00:16:06,005 Freedom. I want my freedom.
- 00:16:06,173 --> 00:16:08,466 Why won't you hear me? Sophie, help me.
- 00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:10,885 - Help me. - Sophie, sit.
- 00:16:11,553 --> 00:16:12,637 [MUMBLING]
- 00:16:12,888 --> 00:16:14,847 God, would you just calm down?
- 00:16:22,106 --> 00:16:24,983 I'm going to say this for the last time.
- 00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:27,819 Would you please just...?
- 00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:34,409 Wow, there's a lot I didn't know about vomit.
- 00:16:35,244 --> 00:16:37,078 [DUCK QUACKS]
- 00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:39,747 In a minute.
- 00:16:41,583 --> 00:16:42,917 So, what do you say, Joey?
- 00:16:43,085 --> 00:16:46,879 You get the whole set of encyclopedias for $1200.
- 00:16:47,047 --> 00:16:49,841 That works out to just 50 bucks a book.
- 00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:51,884 Twelve hundred dollars?
- 00:16:52,052 --> 00:16:53,511 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:56,264 You think I have $1200?
- 00:16:56,432 --> 00:16:58,182 I'm home in the middle of the day...
- 00:16:58,350 --> 00:17:01,310 ...and I got patio furniture in my living room.
- 00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:05,898 I guess there's a few things you don't get from book learning.
- 00:17:06,442 --> 00:17:08,192 Well, uh, what can you swing?
- 00:17:08,944 --> 00:17:13,031 How about zero down and zero a month for a long, long time?
- 00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:16,367 You don't have anything?
- 00:17:16,535 --> 00:17:19,162 You want to see what I got? Okay.
- 00:17:19,329 --> 00:17:22,582 I got a baby Tootsie Roll...
- 00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:25,918 ...a movie stub, keys, a Kleenex...
- 00:17:28,297 --> 00:17:29,881 ...a rock...
- 00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:32,050 ...and an army man.
- 00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:36,304 Okay, I get the picture. Uh, thanks for your time.
- 00:17:37,181 --> 00:17:38,890 And a fifty.
- 00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:41,517 Huh. These must be Chandler's pants.
- 00:17:42,352 --> 00:17:44,228 For 50 bucks you can get one book.
- 00:17:44,521 --> 00:17:47,356 What will it be? A? B? C?
- 00:17:47,524 --> 00:17:49,150 I think I'm gonna stick with the V.
- 00:17:49,318 --> 00:17:52,320 I want to see how this bad boy turns out. Heh.
- 00:17:55,991 --> 00:17:59,160 I, uh, will buy and wrap all of your Christmas gifts.
- 00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:01,079 - No. - Oh.
- 00:18:01,246 --> 00:18:04,707 I, uh... Oh, I'll squeeze you fresh orange juice every morning.
- 00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,417 - With extra pulp? - Yeah.
- 00:18:06,585 --> 00:18:08,044 No.
- 00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:13,299 I've got it.
- 00:18:13,467 --> 00:18:15,635 You don't have it.
- 00:18:15,803 --> 00:18:18,179 I have so got it.
- 00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:21,432 There's gonna be rumors about this. There's no way to stop it.
- 00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:23,518 Sophie knows, Monica and Phoebe know.
- 00:18:23,685 --> 00:18:25,728 - How do Monica and Phoebe know? - Oh, I called them.
- 00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:29,607 When they ask me what I saw...
- 00:18:29,775 --> 00:18:32,777 ...I can be very generous...
- 00:18:34,446 --> 00:18:36,614 ...or very stingy.
- 00:18:38,867 --> 00:18:42,870 - Go on. - I can make you a legend.
- 00:18:43,038 --> 00:18:46,999 I can make you this generation's Milton Berle.
- 00:18:47,876 --> 00:18:51,379 - And Milton Berle has... - Oh. Not compared to you.
- 00:18:55,717 --> 00:18:57,802 - Well? - They're not even touching the lasagna.
- 00:18:57,970 --> 00:19:00,012 - Really? - Oh, they love your casserole.
- 00:19:00,180 --> 00:19:01,305 Yes.
- 00:19:01,765 --> 00:19:05,393 It's hard to believe, just a little while ago, this was nothing but ingredients.
- 00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:10,106 Everyone seems to like your dish.
- 00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:11,858 And you?
- 00:19:12,025 --> 00:19:13,943 I thought it was...
- 00:19:14,945 --> 00:19:16,445 ...quite tasty.
- 00:19:17,698 --> 00:19:20,741 So if everyone liked it, and you liked it...
- 00:19:20,909 --> 00:19:24,203 ...that would make this a success. Which would make you...
- 00:19:24,454 --> 00:19:25,913 A bitch?
- 00:19:27,416 --> 00:19:29,834 Well, I was going for "wrong," but we can use your word.
- 00:19:31,420 --> 00:19:33,921 Yes, well, I was wrong.
- 00:19:34,089 --> 00:19:36,257 And I have to say...
- 00:19:37,092 --> 00:19:39,051 ...you really impressed me today.
- 00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:42,096 Wow.
- 00:19:42,264 --> 00:19:45,266 Um, you might even say that she pulled a Monica.
- 00:19:47,811 --> 00:19:50,271 She doesn't know we switched it.
- 00:19:51,356 --> 00:19:54,984 And the next time you cater for me...
- 00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:58,404 ...there will be nothing but ice in the freezer.
- 00:19:58,947 --> 00:20:00,948 Well, that really means a lot.
- 00:20:01,116 --> 00:20:03,201 Oh, Mom, don't bite your nails.
- 00:20:09,833 --> 00:20:12,043 - Hello. GROUP: Hey.
- 00:20:12,461 --> 00:20:14,545 Hello, Chandler.
- 00:20:16,089 --> 00:20:17,715 I love you.
- 00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:19,967 Hey, what's going on?
- 00:20:20,135 --> 00:20:21,385 Oh.
- 00:20:21,553 --> 00:20:22,803 [PHOEBE WHISPERING]
- 00:20:24,389 --> 00:20:26,599 No, he doesn't.
- 00:20:26,767 --> 00:20:28,017 [LAUGHING]
- 00:20:29,102 --> 00:20:30,728 Two hours, that lasted.
- 00:20:32,272 --> 00:20:34,232 So did you break up with Joanna?
- 00:20:34,399 --> 00:20:35,733 I think so.
- 00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:39,904 Well, it's a good thing you got out when you did, before she blew up like Vesuvius.
- 00:20:40,906 --> 00:20:42,406 - The volcano? JOEY: Yeah.
- 00:20:42,699 --> 00:20:47,703 And speaking of volcanoes, man, are they a violent, igneous-rock formation.
- 00:20:48,664 --> 00:20:49,747 What?
- 00:20:49,998 --> 00:20:52,708 Oh, yeah. Lava spewing, hot ash.
- 00:20:52,876 --> 00:20:54,710 Of course, some are dormant.
- 00:20:54,878 --> 00:20:57,922 Why are you talking about volcanoes all of a sudden?
- 00:20:58,090 --> 00:20:59,548 Oh, we can talk about something else.
- 00:20:59,716 --> 00:21:01,842 What do you want to talk about? Vivisection?
- 00:21:03,470 --> 00:21:05,388 The vas deferens?
- 00:21:05,847 --> 00:21:07,765 The Vietnam War?
- 00:21:08,308 --> 00:21:11,310 Oh, did anybody see that documentary on the Korean War?
- 00:21:11,478 --> 00:21:13,437 GROUP: Oh, yeah.
- 00:21:13,605 --> 00:21:15,314 Oh, God, Korea's such a beautiful country.
- 00:21:15,482 --> 00:21:18,693 - With such a sad history. PHOEBE: Yeah.
- 00:21:19,152 --> 00:21:20,361 Could there be more Kims?
- 00:21:20,529 --> 00:21:21,696 [ALL LAUGHING]
- 00:21:29,871 --> 00:21:32,248 JOANNA: Who's out there? - It's me. Good morning.
- 00:21:32,416 --> 00:21:34,375 JOANNA: Rachel, could you come in here a moment?
- 00:21:34,543 --> 00:21:37,545 Yeah, sure. Um, they didn't have poppy-seed bagels...
- 00:21:37,713 --> 00:21:40,089 ...so I have sesame ones... Oh, my word.
- 00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:42,383 I...
- 00:21:42,884 --> 00:21:45,094 I seem to have had a slight office mishap.
- 00:21:46,972 --> 00:21:48,848 Could you get the key off the back of the door?
- 00:21:49,016 --> 00:21:51,642 Yeah, sure. I...
- 00:21:54,062 --> 00:21:55,563 [RACHEL CLEARS THROAT]
- 00:21:56,189 --> 00:21:57,732 I'm so sorry.
- 00:21:57,899 --> 00:22:00,693 Tell your friend Chandler that we're definitely broken up this time.
- 00:22:00,861 --> 00:22:02,153 Okay.
- 00:22:09,244 --> 00:22:11,245 [English - US - SDH]
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