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Эпизод с чемпионом по боям без правил
The One with the Ultimate Fighting Champion
Сезон: 03Серия: 24
Описание
Моника пытается поддержать мечты Пита о карьере в UFC, но после его жестоких поражений говорит, что не может оставаться, если он продолжит в том же духе, а затем расстается с ним после того, как он отказывается уйти. У Чендлера возникают проблемы, когда его новый босс постоянно шлепает его по ягодицам в дружеской, но неуместной манере, но в конце концов он позволяет боссу шлепнуть себя по ягодицам, почувствовав себя обделенным. Фиби устраивает Россу свидание с Бонни (Кристин Тейлор), симпатичной девушкой, которая раньше брила голову. Рейчел не рада видеть, что Бонни теперь очень привлекательная блондинка, и что Росс от нее без ума. В начале этого эпизода Билли Кристал и Робин Уильямс появляются в эпизодической роли.
Субтитры
- 00:00:02,293 --> 00:00:05,754 Do you think there's a town in Missouri or someplace...
- 00:00:05,964 --> 00:00:07,339 ...called Sample?
- 00:00:07,590 --> 00:00:11,510 And as you're driving into the town, there's a sign and it says:
- 00:00:11,761 --> 00:00:13,762 "You're in Sample."
- 00:00:16,307 --> 00:00:17,766 MONICA: Hey. ALL: Hey.
- 00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:20,102 RACHEL: How did it go with Pete? ROSS: Tell us.
- 00:00:20,270 --> 00:00:22,604 You're not gonna believe this. So I go...
- 00:00:22,814 --> 00:00:24,815 I'm sorry. Excuse us.
- 00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:30,946 - It's a little crowded. Do you mind? - Could you skooch?
- 00:00:31,448 --> 00:00:33,115 TIM: Move over just a little bit.
- 00:00:34,492 --> 00:00:35,784 Keep on skooching.
- 00:00:36,161 --> 00:00:37,202 Thank you.
- 00:00:37,370 --> 00:00:40,873 So, guys, listen. I go over there and, you know, I'm...
- 00:00:41,124 --> 00:00:43,125 TOMAS: Why? What is wrong with me?
- 00:00:43,334 --> 00:00:45,169 - What's the matter? - Tim...
- 00:00:45,462 --> 00:00:47,171 ...I have a feeling...
- 00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:51,133 ...my wife is sleeping with her gynecologist.
- 00:00:53,970 --> 00:00:55,137 How do you know?
- 00:00:55,388 --> 00:00:56,972 - He's got access. - I know.
- 00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:00,559 It's a feeling you get.
- 00:01:00,810 --> 00:01:03,020 Like when you're in somebody else's bowling shoes?
- 00:01:03,313 --> 00:01:04,313 That's the one.
- 00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:08,317 - So you went to Pete's. - What happened?
- 00:01:08,526 --> 00:01:10,819 TOMAS: Why is this happening to me?
- 00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:12,654 Maybe it's my wound.
- 00:01:12,947 --> 00:01:13,989 Forget it.
- 00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:17,326 It's not healed yet?
- 00:01:17,535 --> 00:01:18,911 It's oozing!
- 00:01:19,370 --> 00:01:21,830 Would you pass the cream? There's the cream.
- 00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:23,499 Thank you very much.
- 00:01:24,542 --> 00:01:28,504 Tomas, this is gonna be hard, but I wanted it to come from me.
- 00:01:28,671 --> 00:01:31,381 - What is it? - I've been sleeping with your wife.
- 00:01:31,674 --> 00:01:32,674 You're the gynecologist?
- 00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:35,677 I'm trying to have a private conversation.
- 00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:40,307 Can I have a napkin? Could you please hand me a napkin?
- 00:01:40,517 --> 00:01:42,893 Just give me the thing, all right?
- 00:01:44,187 --> 00:01:45,229 Enough!
- 00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:47,856 And you are no longer my friend!
- 00:01:48,066 --> 00:01:50,067 We are finished! Nada! No more!
- 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:52,319 You are a bastard for doing that!
- 00:01:52,529 --> 00:01:54,029 Stay away from me!
- 00:01:54,864 --> 00:01:55,864 TIM: Come back!
- 00:02:04,207 --> 00:02:07,042 So what were you gonna tell us?
- 00:02:08,044 --> 00:02:09,211 I have no idea.
- 00:03:00,597 --> 00:03:03,223 What was the big news Pete wanted to tell you?
- 00:03:03,474 --> 00:03:05,684 Or should I say, "Mrs. Monica Becker"?
- 00:03:06,477 --> 00:03:08,812 Oh, keep your name. Don't take his name.
- 00:03:09,105 --> 00:03:10,272 He didn't ask me to marry him.
- 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:13,859 ALL: Aw. - Then definitely don't take his name!
- 00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:18,822 He wanted to tell me he's going to compete in some Ultimate...
- 00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:20,824 ...Fighting Competition thingy.
- 00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:23,410 JOEY: Pete? RACHEL: Why? What is it?
- 00:03:23,661 --> 00:03:26,246 I don't know exactly. It's sort of like wrestling.
- 00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:28,707 - Oh? - But without the costumes.
- 00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:30,459 Oh.
- 00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:32,878 And it's not fake. It's totally brutal.
- 00:03:33,129 --> 00:03:37,341 It's two guys in the ring and the rules are, "There are no rules"!
- 00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:40,761 You can bite and pull people's hair and stuff?
- 00:03:41,012 --> 00:03:44,264 Anything goes except eye-gouging and fish-hooking.
- 00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:46,934 - What's fish-hooking? - What's fish-hook...
- 00:03:49,562 --> 00:03:52,522 Thanks. That would have been hard to describe.
- 00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:54,399 What is that taste?
- 00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:58,654 My hands are totally clean. I just gave the duck a bath.
- 00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:04,034 DOUG: Thanks for the warm welcome.
- 00:04:04,327 --> 00:04:08,705 It's good to have you guys on my team. I come to play. I hope you do too.
- 00:04:08,957 --> 00:04:11,416 Let's go out there and get them! And remember:
- 00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:14,211 There is no I in "team."
- 00:04:14,462 --> 00:04:18,465 Yes, but there's two in "martini." So, everybody, back to my office.
- 00:04:19,467 --> 00:04:22,302 You! Chuckles. What's your name?
- 00:04:22,553 --> 00:04:24,638 It's Bing, sir. I'm sorry. I was just...
- 00:04:24,889 --> 00:04:28,267 No, no. I heard what you said. Funny. I like funny.
- 00:04:28,559 --> 00:04:31,436 This team's about hard work, but it's also about having fun.
- 00:04:31,688 --> 00:04:33,689 Good to have you aboard, Bing!
- 00:04:40,905 --> 00:04:42,406 ROSS: That's right. Ryder.
- 00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:45,492 Winona Ryder for six.
- 00:04:48,037 --> 00:04:49,079 Thank you.
- 00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:51,581 - Yeah. We have the reservations. RACHEL: Yes!
- 00:04:52,333 --> 00:04:54,334 All right, buddy! Way to go!
- 00:04:57,005 --> 00:04:58,380 Dude, what are you doing?
- 00:04:59,007 --> 00:05:03,427 Thank you. My boss keeps slapping my butt and acting like it's no big deal.
- 00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:05,178 What'd you do about it?
- 00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:08,140 I didn't do anything. I didn't want to be the guy...
- 00:05:08,391 --> 00:05:11,226 ...who has a problem with his boss slapping his bottom.
- 00:05:12,103 --> 00:05:15,397 I gotta tell you, I think it's okay to be that guy.
- 00:05:16,441 --> 00:05:17,899 Maybe it's that jock thing.
- 00:05:18,109 --> 00:05:21,862 You know, how football players pat each other after touchdowns.
- 00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:26,283 You know, I don't understand guys.
- 00:05:26,534 --> 00:05:29,995 I mean, I would never congratulate Monica on a great stew...
- 00:05:30,204 --> 00:05:32,456 ...by, you know, grabbing her boob.
- 00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:36,501 I know. For a really great stew, you'd just...
- 00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:38,545 ...stick your head in between them.
- 00:05:40,256 --> 00:05:41,673 Can we please go eat?
- 00:05:41,924 --> 00:05:45,010 - Yeah, what are we getting? - Anything but stew.
- 00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:49,514 So from now on, don't give your boss a chance to get you.
- 00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:51,475 Don't turn your back to him.
- 00:05:52,101 --> 00:05:54,644 Or you could teach him a lesson, you know?
- 00:05:54,896 --> 00:05:59,483 What you do is rub something that smells really bad on your butt, right?
- 00:05:59,692 --> 00:06:03,070 Then when he goes to smack you, his hand will smell.
- 00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:09,493 Now, what could you rub on your butt that would smell bad?
- 00:06:12,497 --> 00:06:14,498 What if Joey was President?
- 00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:19,294 Can I ask you something?
- 00:06:19,545 --> 00:06:21,755 - Yeah. - Okay, you can totally say no...
- 00:06:21,964 --> 00:06:26,009 ...but would it be okay with you if I set Ross up on a date?
- 00:06:26,427 --> 00:06:29,096 Oh. Uh, with who?
- 00:06:29,347 --> 00:06:32,182 My friend Bonnie. She always thought Ross was cute...
- 00:06:32,433 --> 00:06:35,060 ...and she asked if I could set it up.
- 00:06:35,269 --> 00:06:37,979 - But if that's not cool... - Which one is Bonnie?
- 00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:40,690 You remember her from my birthday party?
- 00:06:40,942 --> 00:06:43,068 Average height...
- 00:06:43,319 --> 00:06:45,529 ...medium build, bald...
- 00:06:45,988 --> 00:06:47,322 Oh!
- 00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:50,826 That's fine.
- 00:06:51,452 --> 00:06:54,663 Great! Okay! Good for you! All right!
- 00:07:00,294 --> 00:07:03,130 You are iron! You are steel!
- 00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:07,384 Let me ask you, how come when I call your computer support line...
- 00:07:07,593 --> 00:07:09,678 ...I have to wait an hour and a half?
- 00:07:09,929 --> 00:07:13,432 We're adding operators all the time. Could we concentrate on my training?
- 00:07:13,641 --> 00:07:17,060 It's just hard when I know I have e-mail I can't get.
- 00:07:19,981 --> 00:07:21,815 - Hi. - Monica!
- 00:07:23,025 --> 00:07:24,067 Hi, honey.
- 00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:26,445 On the table. On the table, please.
- 00:07:28,364 --> 00:07:33,243 Hey, um, so listen, my friends were telling me a little bit about...
- 00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,245 ...this Ultimate Fighting thing.
- 00:07:35,496 --> 00:07:37,456 It sounds really dangerous.
- 00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:40,792 I don't want you to get hurt, because I kind of like you.
- 00:07:41,002 --> 00:07:44,421 I don't want to get hurt either. I'm being smart about this.
- 00:07:44,672 --> 00:07:47,674 See these guys? They're the best trainers in the world.
- 00:07:47,925 --> 00:07:49,801 Hoshi was a paid assassin.
- 00:07:50,011 --> 00:07:51,303 [SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
- 00:07:51,554 --> 00:07:54,139 A housepainter! He used to be a housepainter!
- 00:07:56,684 --> 00:07:59,519 - Promise me you'll be careful. - I promise.
- 00:07:59,729 --> 00:08:02,731 Are we still on for tonight? Good. Because...
- 00:08:02,940 --> 00:08:05,275 ...maybe we could have a little workout of our own.
- 00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:07,652 No! No boom-boom before big fight!
- 00:08:12,658 --> 00:08:13,992 How about just a boom?
- 00:08:18,664 --> 00:08:20,999 That was depressing. I just bought a pretzel...
- 00:08:21,209 --> 00:08:23,293 ...from one of the kids from Fame.
- 00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:27,214 - Ready to go to the movies? - Mm-hm. Oh, this is Bonnie!
- 00:08:27,423 --> 00:08:28,507 Hi.
- 00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:30,675 This is Bonnie?
- 00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:32,886 This is Bonnie? You're Bonnie?
- 00:08:33,095 --> 00:08:36,014 I can show you an I.D. If you want.
- 00:08:36,224 --> 00:08:40,268 Oh, no. You look a lot different than the last time I saw you.
- 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:43,396 Oh, yeah. Well, I just started wearing bras again.
- 00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:45,941 Oh, that must be it.
- 00:08:47,485 --> 00:08:48,735 Have fun tonight.
- 00:08:48,945 --> 00:08:50,153 Thanks. You too.
- 00:08:56,911 --> 00:08:58,161 You said she was bald.
- 00:08:58,412 --> 00:09:00,205 She was bald. She's not now.
- 00:09:02,291 --> 00:09:04,167 How could you not tell me she has hair?
- 00:09:04,418 --> 00:09:07,295 I don't know. I hardly ever say that about people.
- 00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:09,381 Oh, well this is just perfect!
- 00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:13,009 Well, I'm sorry. I thought you said it was okay.
- 00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:17,722 I said it was okay when I thought she was some weird bald chick.
- 00:09:17,932 --> 00:09:20,475 That girl has got hair all over her head!
- 00:09:22,937 --> 00:09:27,107 - Maybe Ross won't like her personality. - Does she have a bad personality?
- 00:09:27,316 --> 00:09:29,401 Oh, no, Bonnie's the best!
- 00:09:35,116 --> 00:09:36,658 DOUG: Bing!
- 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:41,079 Read your CompuTek proposal. Real home run.
- 00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:45,292 Ooh. Barely got you that time. Get over here!
- 00:09:46,002 --> 00:09:47,002 Come on.
- 00:09:47,628 --> 00:09:49,212 Oh, yeah! Good one.
- 00:09:49,463 --> 00:09:52,007 That was a good one. Keep at it, team!
- 00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:55,302 - What is with him? - "With him"?
- 00:09:55,553 --> 00:09:57,971 You're his favorite. You're his guy!
- 00:09:58,180 --> 00:09:59,598 We never get smacked.
- 00:10:01,183 --> 00:10:03,268 That's not true. He smacked you once.
- 00:10:03,519 --> 00:10:06,646 Not on purpose. He ricocheted off you and got me.
- 00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:09,983 I'm telling you, I need some smacks.
- 00:10:10,568 --> 00:10:12,485 I got a kid starting Dartmouth.
- 00:10:12,737 --> 00:10:15,488 Dartmouth? Who went to Dartmouth? Dartmouth sucks!
- 00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:17,198 - You go to Dartmouth? - No, sir.
- 00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:19,784 There you go! Ha-ha-ha.
- 00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:23,747 [CROWD CHEERING]
- 00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:27,334 ROSS: Hey.
- 00:10:27,501 --> 00:10:29,044 God, Ross! What is that?
- 00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:30,920 The Ultimate Fighting Combo.
- 00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:34,215 I saved 30 cents. Plus I get to keep the cup. Yay!
- 00:10:36,552 --> 00:10:38,887 ANNOUNCER: From New York City, New York...
- 00:10:39,138 --> 00:10:43,266 ...appearing in his Ultimate Fighting Championship debut...
- 00:10:43,517 --> 00:10:47,270 ...he's known for his confrontational business style!
- 00:10:48,439 --> 00:10:51,900 Ladies and gentlemen, introducing...
- 00:10:52,109 --> 00:10:54,611 ...Pete Becker!
- 00:10:54,779 --> 00:10:56,404 [CROWD CHEERING]
- 00:11:00,242 --> 00:11:01,660 I love you, Pete!
- 00:11:05,748 --> 00:11:09,793 And his opponent from Huntington Beach, California...
- 00:11:10,044 --> 00:11:13,797 ...he's a 300-pound street fighter...
- 00:11:14,298 --> 00:11:16,716 ...Tank Abbott!
- 00:11:17,426 --> 00:11:19,386 [MIXED CHEERING AND JEERING]
- 00:11:19,553 --> 00:11:21,304 Boo! Boo!
- 00:11:29,563 --> 00:11:31,481 Pete? Pete?
- 00:11:31,857 --> 00:11:34,109 - That guy's pretty huge. - Don't worry.
- 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:36,820 I'll use his strength and weight against him.
- 00:11:37,071 --> 00:11:41,324 Well, then that guy is in serious, serious trouble.
- 00:11:46,414 --> 00:11:48,206 You go get him. Let's go!
- 00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:51,251 Here we go, gentlemen.
- 00:11:51,502 --> 00:11:52,836 Are you ready?
- 00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:58,508 Are you ready? Then let's get it on!
- 00:12:00,344 --> 00:12:02,345 [GRUNTING]
- 00:12:05,433 --> 00:12:06,558 Uh-oh!
- 00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:19,738 Hey.
- 00:12:20,656 --> 00:12:21,823 It's me.
- 00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,451 [SLOWLY] Monica.
- 00:12:27,246 --> 00:12:29,831 Can I just tell you how proud I am of you?
- 00:12:30,082 --> 00:12:34,085 It would be nice after hearing 20,000 people chant, "You suck!"
- 00:12:35,296 --> 00:12:37,297 I thought you were nuts at first...
- 00:12:37,548 --> 00:12:39,090 ...but you did it.
- 00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:42,510 Now you can just look back at this with no regrets.
- 00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:44,179 Look back?
- 00:12:44,972 --> 00:12:46,848 You're not gonna keep going?
- 00:12:47,183 --> 00:12:50,935 Let me ask you a question: Am I the Ultimate Fighting Champion?
- 00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:54,689 Well, no. But...
- 00:12:54,982 --> 00:12:58,276 I'm not gonna stop until I'm the Ultimate Fighting Champion.
- 00:12:59,361 --> 00:13:03,156 That guy stood on your neck until you passed out.
- 00:13:03,949 --> 00:13:05,658 Let me tell you a story.
- 00:13:06,535 --> 00:13:10,872 When I set out to create MOSS 865, do you think it happened overnight?
- 00:13:11,123 --> 00:13:15,543 No. There was MOSS 1 that burned down my dad's garage.
- 00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:19,714 There was MOSS 2 that would only schedule appointments in January.
- 00:13:19,882 --> 00:13:22,217 And 862 others that I learned from.
- 00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:26,221 Just like I learned from this fight never to let a guy stand on my neck.
- 00:13:26,514 --> 00:13:28,723 You didn't know that already?
- 00:13:30,226 --> 00:13:32,227 Look, I'm gonna get better.
- 00:13:33,103 --> 00:13:35,188 Okay? I promise you.
- 00:13:36,524 --> 00:13:37,565 Okay.
- 00:13:38,901 --> 00:13:41,236 Just get a lot better.
- 00:13:41,695 --> 00:13:43,071 Fast.
- 00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:46,324 One other thing.
- 00:13:46,575 --> 00:13:50,245 Hoshi thinks you being ringside may have affected my concentration.
- 00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:52,247 Yeah.
- 00:13:52,540 --> 00:13:54,249 That was the problem.
- 00:14:00,881 --> 00:14:03,758 - How long until Pete's fight? - About five minutes.
- 00:14:04,009 --> 00:14:05,718 They're interviewing his opponent.
- 00:14:05,928 --> 00:14:10,056 Apparently, he trains by going to Iran and pulling the arms off thieves.
- 00:14:10,224 --> 00:14:13,601 - Wow. Ha, ha. Hot dog? - Four, please.
- 00:14:14,186 --> 00:14:15,770 I'm really nervous.
- 00:14:16,730 --> 00:14:17,772 Thank you.
- 00:14:20,067 --> 00:14:23,194 So how did it go with Bonnie?
- 00:14:23,445 --> 00:14:27,615 Oh, I gotta tell you, I wasn't expecting to like her at all.
- 00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:30,785 I actually wasn't expecting to like anyone right now.
- 00:14:31,036 --> 00:14:33,079 But she's really terrific.
- 00:14:33,247 --> 00:14:34,289 It's too bad.
- 00:14:36,750 --> 00:14:39,168 No, I'm saying I liked her.
- 00:14:39,420 --> 00:14:41,296 There are other fish in the sea.
- 00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:45,800 I think she's great, okay? We're going out again.
- 00:14:46,427 --> 00:14:49,637 I hear you. Are you capable of talking about anything else?
- 00:14:51,473 --> 00:14:53,474 Which one's my turkey burger?
- 00:14:53,767 --> 00:14:55,977 The one next to my foot. Sorry.
- 00:14:56,979 --> 00:14:59,230 - Fight's starting! - We'll be right in.
- 00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:02,317 So did your boss try to slap you again today?
- 00:15:02,484 --> 00:15:03,985 Nine times.
- 00:15:04,820 --> 00:15:06,446 I had to put on lotion.
- 00:15:08,616 --> 00:15:11,492 But it'll be okay. Tomorrow, I conduct an experiment.
- 00:15:11,785 --> 00:15:15,747 And if all goes as planned, my butt will be smack-free.
- 00:15:16,457 --> 00:15:17,624 JOEY: Fight's over!
- 00:15:23,213 --> 00:15:24,672 Excuse me, Doug?
- 00:15:27,092 --> 00:15:29,135 Hey there, sports fan!
- 00:15:29,511 --> 00:15:31,971 Bing! You got those numbers for me?
- 00:15:32,181 --> 00:15:34,098 No. I didn't do them.
- 00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:36,225 Oh. You forgot?
- 00:15:36,477 --> 00:15:38,937 No, I just didn't do them.
- 00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:42,857 Instead, I hung out with some friends and had a couple of beers.
- 00:15:43,150 --> 00:15:45,818 So I certainly don't deserve praise. Verbal...
- 00:15:46,028 --> 00:15:47,654 ...or otherwise.
- 00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:51,366 I got tanked myself last night. Pretty dicey drive home.
- 00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:54,035 Tappan Zee Bridge never looked smaller. Ha, ha.
- 00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:58,289 That's okay. You're still my number one guy! Bing!
- 00:15:58,874 --> 00:16:01,125 - Doug! - Hmm?
- 00:16:01,293 --> 00:16:05,838 I'm a little bit uncomfortable with the way that you express yourself.
- 00:16:06,048 --> 00:16:08,633 Is it the swearing? Is it the constant swearing?
- 00:16:08,842 --> 00:16:12,845 Because I gotta tell you, if it is, you can just kiss my ass!
- 00:16:14,890 --> 00:16:17,642 No. It's not about the swearing. It's more about...
- 00:16:17,893 --> 00:16:20,353 ...the way that you occasionally...
- 00:16:20,562 --> 00:16:24,065 ...concentrate your enthusiasm...
- 00:16:25,359 --> 00:16:26,901 ...on my buttocks.
- 00:16:28,278 --> 00:16:29,320 Oh.
- 00:16:29,488 --> 00:16:32,281 Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the sentiment.
- 00:16:32,491 --> 00:16:36,327 It's just that I have a rather sensitive posterior.
- 00:16:38,163 --> 00:16:41,416 And besides, it's making all the other guys jealous.
- 00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:45,670 Well, say no more. You know, it takes guts to bring this up.
- 00:16:45,921 --> 00:16:47,880 Bing, you're okay.
- 00:16:48,048 --> 00:16:49,090 Okay.
- 00:16:49,258 --> 00:16:51,509 - Ha! Ah! - Ah!
- 00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:53,302 [LAUGHING]
- 00:16:53,470 --> 00:16:54,846 [MIMICS GUNSHOT]
- 00:16:58,100 --> 00:17:01,728 Would you rather live in the shirt pocket of a sweaty giant...
- 00:17:01,937 --> 00:17:04,439 ...or inside his shower drain?
- 00:17:06,442 --> 00:17:07,734 Oh, my God.
- 00:17:08,318 --> 00:17:10,361 Look. It's Ross and that girl.
- 00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:18,202 Look at that! It's a line of ants! They're working as a team!
- 00:17:20,205 --> 00:17:24,333 Right. Oh, yeah. It looks like Ross is breaking up with her.
- 00:17:24,585 --> 00:17:26,044 I hope he lets her down easy.
- 00:17:26,295 --> 00:17:29,255 Look at that! They are not breaking up! Look at them!
- 00:17:29,465 --> 00:17:32,467 You know what that is? A second date, that's what that is.
- 00:17:33,135 --> 00:17:35,470 Look, she just put her hand on his thigh.
- 00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:38,306 That's nothing. She's very sexually aggressive.
- 00:17:38,474 --> 00:17:39,599 Oh, God!
- 00:17:39,850 --> 00:17:44,645 It's your fault. Now he loves her. He'll marry her. It's all your fault.
- 00:17:45,355 --> 00:17:46,856 You said it was okay.
- 00:17:47,107 --> 00:17:49,233 You said she was bald!
- 00:17:50,652 --> 00:17:52,987 Was! Was, was, was!
- 00:17:54,323 --> 00:17:58,326 We can't let it happen. We have to do something. We have to break them up.
- 00:17:58,577 --> 00:18:02,789 Just go in there and shave her head! You owe me one bald girl!
- 00:18:04,625 --> 00:18:06,417 Okay, first of all, breathe.
- 00:18:07,669 --> 00:18:10,004 Second of all, I don't get it.
- 00:18:10,380 --> 00:18:13,466 Aren't you the one that decided you didn't want to be with Ross?
- 00:18:15,594 --> 00:18:16,677 Yes.
- 00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:20,640 Well, isn't he your friend? Don't you want him to be happy?
- 00:18:23,018 --> 00:18:24,018 Yes.
- 00:18:24,853 --> 00:18:26,020 So?
- 00:18:30,275 --> 00:18:34,779 It's just, you know, I didn't expect him to be this happy so soon.
- 00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:37,990 [GROANING]
- 00:18:44,456 --> 00:18:45,498 - Oh, no. - What?
- 00:18:45,707 --> 00:18:46,833 We killed them all!
- 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:48,376 [RACHEL SHOUTS]
- 00:18:59,429 --> 00:19:00,471 [MONICA GASPS]
- 00:19:00,681 --> 00:19:02,140 [GRUNTS]
- 00:19:03,058 --> 00:19:05,935 It's not as bad as it looks. It's a precaution.
- 00:19:06,186 --> 00:19:08,688 I'm not supposed to move my spine.
- 00:19:11,191 --> 00:19:13,067 Please tell me you're stopping now.
- 00:19:13,443 --> 00:19:16,195 I'm fine. I'd fight tonight if they'd let me.
- 00:19:17,865 --> 00:19:20,491 Now, see this circle I'm marking off here?
- 00:19:20,701 --> 00:19:22,702 This is my Zone of Terror.
- 00:19:25,455 --> 00:19:28,833 You are insane! You've got to give this up!
- 00:19:29,042 --> 00:19:31,961 I can't until I'm the Ultimate Fighter.
- 00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:33,337 I will do it.
- 00:19:33,589 --> 00:19:37,842 The day will come when children will argue over who will win a fight...
- 00:19:38,093 --> 00:19:40,011 ...me or Superman.
- 00:19:41,889 --> 00:19:44,891 Not that I could beat Superman, but kids are stupid.
- 00:19:46,101 --> 00:19:47,393 Just sit down.
- 00:19:47,603 --> 00:19:49,478 Please listen to me.
- 00:19:49,688 --> 00:19:54,692 You are terrible at this, okay? You are the worst Ultimate Fighter ever.
- 00:19:55,110 --> 00:19:56,110 Ever!
- 00:19:57,571 --> 00:20:01,616 I have a torn rotator cuff, a hairline fracture in my right forearm...
- 00:20:01,867 --> 00:20:05,995 ...and a severely bruised Adam's apple, but that really hurt.
- 00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:13,878 Well, then you know what?
- 00:20:15,923 --> 00:20:20,092 I care about you too much to watch you hurt yourself like this.
- 00:20:20,594 --> 00:20:24,013 So if you have to do this, you'll have to do it without me.
- 00:20:24,514 --> 00:20:26,432 If you're asking me to quit...
- 00:20:26,642 --> 00:20:29,518 ...then you're asking me to be someone I'm not.
- 00:20:29,811 --> 00:20:31,270 I've got to do this.
- 00:20:35,609 --> 00:20:37,443 Then I've gotta go.
- 00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:40,238 Bye.
- 00:20:46,036 --> 00:20:47,828 - Monica? - Yes?
- 00:20:48,580 --> 00:20:50,665 Could you leave a note? I'm on painkillers...
- 00:20:50,958 --> 00:20:53,084 ...and I might not remember this tomorrow.
- 00:20:58,548 --> 00:21:03,552 So, in conclusion, the lines all go up, so I'm happy.
- 00:21:04,429 --> 00:21:06,764 Great job, team! Tomorrow at 8:30.
- 00:21:07,349 --> 00:21:10,434 Phil, nice job! Stevens, way to go!
- 00:21:10,644 --> 00:21:12,853 Goldberg, you maniac!
- 00:21:13,105 --> 00:21:14,689 I love you!
- 00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:20,695 - Bing, couldn't have done it without you. - Thank you, sir.
- 00:21:20,988 --> 00:21:22,280 Oh, excuse me.
- 00:21:22,489 --> 00:21:26,200 I forgot my briefcase, you know, by accident.
- 00:21:26,493 --> 00:21:28,661 Of course you did. Forgot something else too, you bastard!
- 00:21:28,829 --> 00:21:30,871 [LAUGHING]
- 00:21:32,749 --> 00:21:34,792 Well, what about you?
- 00:21:35,043 --> 00:21:37,545 You're not feeling left out, are you?
- 00:21:37,713 --> 00:21:38,713 No. Heh.
- 00:21:38,880 --> 00:21:41,465 No, not at all. That's ridiculous.
- 00:21:41,675 --> 00:21:44,885 Everybody else got one, and you want one too. Don't you?
- 00:21:48,223 --> 00:21:49,557 - Yes, I do. - Ha-ha-ha.
- 00:21:49,850 --> 00:21:51,976 Now, get on out of here, you!
- 00:21:57,065 --> 00:21:58,816 ANNOUNCER [ON TV]: Pete Becker circles the ring.
- 00:21:59,067 --> 00:22:01,527 Looks like he's just trying to feel him out.
- 00:22:01,737 --> 00:22:03,237 Bruiser is charging!
- 00:22:03,488 --> 00:22:06,157 Run, you crazy, rich freak!
- 00:22:07,826 --> 00:22:09,076 I can't watch this.
- 00:22:09,369 --> 00:22:10,995 Check it out! Pete's winning!
- 00:22:11,246 --> 00:22:13,247 - Really? - No!
- 00:22:15,751 --> 00:22:20,171 ANNOUNCER: Uh-oh, Bruiser has Becker on the canvas and is going for his favorite area!
- 00:22:20,422 --> 00:22:21,672 ALL: Oh! Oh!
- 00:22:21,965 --> 00:22:25,926 Wait! If that's his favorite area, why is he being so mean to it?
- 00:22:26,595 --> 00:22:27,845 ROSS: This is ironic.
- 00:22:28,096 --> 00:22:30,765 Your last boyfriend, Richard, didn't want to have kids.
- 00:22:31,016 --> 00:22:33,601 And from the looks of it, now Pete can't.
- 00:22:34,728 --> 00:22:36,103 [ALL SHOUTING]
- 00:22:39,775 --> 00:22:41,776 [English - US - SDH]
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