Эпизод со всей этой ревностью
Описание
Убежденный, что Марк хочет отбить у него Рейчел, ревнивый Росс осыпает ее романтическими подарками на работе. Рейчел уверяет Росса, что он может доверить ей Марка, но затем начинает ревновать, когда он и Бен устраивают свидание со стриптизершей с мальчишника, на котором он был, у которой есть сын возраста Бена. Многочисленные лживые заявления Джои в его раздутом резюме настигают его, когда он вынужден безуспешно учить танцу целую труппу Бродвея. Моника встречается с Хулио, официантом из закусочной, который пишет ей стихотворение под названием «Пустая ваза». Тронутая, Моника спит с ним, но Фиби объясняет, что стихотворение означает, что он считает ее «пустой» внутри. Когда Хулио раскрывает, что стихотворение посвящено всем американским женщинам, Моника позже мстит.
Субтитры
- 00:00:03,503 --> 00:00:04,753 Okay. Hey.
- 00:00:04,921 --> 00:00:06,964 - Does everybody hate these shoes? CHANDLER: Oh, yeah.
- 00:00:07,132 --> 00:00:12,011 But I don't think anybody's gonna focus on that as long as you wear that towel dress.
- 00:00:12,929 --> 00:00:13,971 Tell him.
- 00:00:14,139 --> 00:00:18,350 It's her first day at this new job. You're not supposed to start with her.
- 00:00:19,185 --> 00:00:21,854 All right. I suppose I can wait a day.
- 00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:24,815 - Hey, what are you doing Friday? - Why?
- 00:00:24,983 --> 00:00:28,152 I need you to come to this bachelor party for my weird cousin Albert.
- 00:00:28,319 --> 00:00:29,820 You know, he's the botanist?
- 00:00:29,988 --> 00:00:33,449 Oh, God. Yeah, botanists are such geeks.
- 00:00:33,658 --> 00:00:35,284 Yeah.
- 00:00:35,452 --> 00:00:36,493 Is that a dinosaur tie?
- 00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:37,745 Hmm? Oh, yeah.
- 00:00:37,912 --> 00:00:40,330 [ROARS THEN GROWLS]
- 00:00:40,915 --> 00:00:42,041 [KNOCKING ON DOOR]
- 00:00:42,542 --> 00:00:43,709 - Morning. CHANDLER: Hey.
- 00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:46,962 Hey. Rach, I'm here with the purses.
- 00:00:47,964 --> 00:00:50,966 It must take you forever to find your keys.
- 00:00:51,134 --> 00:00:52,468 Thank you, thank you, Pheebs.
- 00:00:52,635 --> 00:00:55,471 Oh, you're welcome. Oh, please want the one with the turtles.
- 00:00:55,638 --> 00:00:58,432 No, no, no, turtles scare me. I don't need that today.
- 00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:02,436 Honey, just relax. It's gonna be fine.
- 00:01:02,604 --> 00:01:05,230 Hey, why don't I come down there and take you to lunch?
- 00:01:05,398 --> 00:01:08,025 Aw, honey, thank you, but Mark's taking me out.
- 00:01:09,027 --> 00:01:12,071 Mark? Is that the same Mark that helped you get the job?
- 00:01:12,238 --> 00:01:15,699 Yeah. It's kind of like a "good luck on your first day" sort of thing.
- 00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:17,201 Is this actually a lunch box?
- 00:01:17,410 --> 00:01:20,662 Um, no, it's a purse. And there's a thermos in it.
- 00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:22,122 Oh.
- 00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:25,751 - Hey, so can you make it on Friday? ROSS: What?
- 00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:28,545 Oh, yeah, I think so. Why am I invited to this again?
- 00:01:28,713 --> 00:01:30,464 - Apparently, Albert has no friends. ROSS: Oh.
- 00:01:30,632 --> 00:01:32,424 He's excited about the bachelor party, though.
- 00:01:32,592 --> 00:01:35,427 I think the only reason he's getting married is so he can see a stripper.
- 00:01:35,595 --> 00:01:36,804 [ROSS CHUCKLES]
- 00:01:37,806 --> 00:01:41,308 A stripper at a bachelor party. That is so cliché.
- 00:01:41,476 --> 00:01:44,186 Why don't you guys get a magician?
- 00:01:44,896 --> 00:01:48,732 If a magician can open my beer with his butt cheeks, then all right.
- 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:40,200 She's having lunch with him? Lunch with him?
- 00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:43,203 You should've seen the hug he gave her when she got the job.
- 00:02:43,371 --> 00:02:46,081 And he's really good-looking.
- 00:02:47,584 --> 00:02:50,002 - What am I gonna do? - You don't do anything.
- 00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:52,796 Keep it inside. Learn how to hide your feelings.
- 00:02:54,465 --> 00:02:55,716 Don't cry out loud.
- 00:02:57,844 --> 00:02:59,511 Yes! Unh!
- 00:02:59,679 --> 00:03:02,014 Guess who has an audition for a Broadway musical.
- 00:03:02,223 --> 00:03:05,726 I wanna say you, but it seems like such an easy answer.
- 00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:07,269 It is me.
- 00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:10,230 It's a musical version of A Tale of Two Cities.
- 00:03:10,398 --> 00:03:12,691 So I think I'm gonna sing "New York, New York"...
- 00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:16,778 ...and, uh, oh, "I Left My Heart in San Francisco."
- 00:03:19,157 --> 00:03:23,202 Uh, Joey, I don't think you get to pick the cities.
- 00:03:24,245 --> 00:03:27,080 - What? - Mr. Dickens gets to pick them.
- 00:03:28,791 --> 00:03:30,250 Who?
- 00:03:31,377 --> 00:03:33,337 I'll get you the CliffsNotes.
- 00:03:33,504 --> 00:03:35,297 The what?
- 00:03:35,798 --> 00:03:36,924 The abridgment.
- 00:03:37,091 --> 00:03:40,135 Oh, okay. Ha, ha.
- 00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:42,304 The what?
- 00:03:46,601 --> 00:03:48,560 Then the style number...
- 00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:52,773 ...the invoice number, and the shipping date.
- 00:03:52,941 --> 00:03:54,900 Good. Any questions so far?
- 00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:57,319 Yeah. What kind of discount do we get?
- 00:03:57,487 --> 00:04:02,032 - Ha, ha. Twenty percent. - Oh. I love this job. Ha, ha.
- 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:03,450 [PHONE RINGS]
- 00:04:03,618 --> 00:04:05,160 - Ah! My first call. - Here, let me.
- 00:04:05,328 --> 00:04:07,037 Okay.
- 00:04:07,205 --> 00:04:10,207 - Rachel Green's line. How may I help you? - Hi, is Rachel there?
- 00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:13,335 - And who may I say is calling? - [OVER PHONE] This is Ross.
- 00:04:13,503 --> 00:04:14,544 Ross of?
- 00:04:15,338 --> 00:04:18,090 Of "Ross and Rachel."
- 00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:20,384 Oh. Hi, it's Mark.
- 00:04:20,551 --> 00:04:22,594 - Oh, hey, Mark. Heh. Hey. MARK [OVER PHONE]: Hey.
- 00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:24,096 - Hey, hold on a second. - Uh, okay.
- 00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:25,430 MARK: It's Ross. RACHEL: Okay.
- 00:04:26,641 --> 00:04:27,891 - Hi, honey. - Hi.
- 00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:30,686 What's Mark doing answering your phone?
- 00:04:30,853 --> 00:04:32,688 [OVER PHONE] Oh, he's just goofing around.
- 00:04:32,855 --> 00:04:35,774 Oh, that's funny.
- 00:04:37,068 --> 00:04:40,070 Why isn't he goofing around in his own office?
- 00:04:40,238 --> 00:04:44,324 Ha, ha. Honey, this is his office too. I told you, we're Joanna's two assistants.
- 00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:46,743 Why does Joanna need two assistants?
- 00:04:46,911 --> 00:04:49,204 How lazy is she?
- 00:04:50,081 --> 00:04:52,416 - Oh. Oh, my God. What did I just do? - What?
- 00:04:52,583 --> 00:04:54,710 I think I just shipped 3000 bras to Personnel.
- 00:04:54,877 --> 00:04:56,712 Honey, I gotta go. Mark, I need you.
- 00:04:56,879 --> 00:04:59,131 Okay. Bye-bye.
- 00:04:59,799 --> 00:05:01,758 Ow! Ross!
- 00:05:01,926 --> 00:05:04,428 Huh? Oh. Oh, I'm sorry, sweetie. I was just trying to...
- 00:05:04,595 --> 00:05:07,472 Uh, I was dialing another number.
- 00:05:20,528 --> 00:05:24,281 All right, I just got changed in 30 seconds so you could be alone with him.
- 00:05:24,449 --> 00:05:28,076 - You better go for it. - Please. I'm not going for anything.
- 00:05:28,244 --> 00:05:31,621 - Well, if you don't, I will. - Would you please go?
- 00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:34,041 Night, Mon.
- 00:05:35,376 --> 00:05:37,502 - Night, Julio. - Adiós.
- 00:05:48,222 --> 00:05:50,807 Look, Julio, someone left their book here.
- 00:05:50,975 --> 00:05:52,726 Actually, that is mine.
- 00:05:52,894 --> 00:05:54,227 - Oh, yeah? - Yes.
- 00:05:54,395 --> 00:05:55,812 What are you reading?
- 00:05:55,980 --> 00:05:59,524 Flowers of Evil by Baudelaire. Have you read it?
- 00:05:59,692 --> 00:06:02,444 Ha, ha. Have I read it?
- 00:06:03,654 --> 00:06:05,864 No. Are you enjoying it?
- 00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:09,951 I thought that I would, but the translation's no good.
- 00:06:10,119 --> 00:06:11,161 [LAUGHS]
- 00:06:11,329 --> 00:06:13,080 You're a poet and you don't know it.
- 00:06:16,959 --> 00:06:20,212 Actually, I, uh... I am a poet.
- 00:06:21,130 --> 00:06:22,631 Oh. Ha, ha.
- 00:06:22,799 --> 00:06:24,883 So you do know it. Ha, ha.
- 00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:26,593 [MONICA CLEARS THROAT]
- 00:06:28,971 --> 00:06:33,350 Ahem. So, uh, what kind of things do you write about?
- 00:06:33,518 --> 00:06:35,727 Things that move me.
- 00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:37,938 The shadow of a tree...
- 00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:40,232 ...a child laughing...
- 00:06:42,193 --> 00:06:43,360 ...or this lip.
- 00:06:44,028 --> 00:06:45,529 Mine?
- 00:06:46,030 --> 00:06:47,656 Right here?
- 00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:53,453 I could write an epic poem about this lip.
- 00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:01,128 How would that go?
- 00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:14,141 Well, it didn't rhyme, ha, ha...
- 00:07:14,308 --> 00:07:15,392 ...but I liked it.
- 00:07:18,229 --> 00:07:24,025 [SINGING] You've got to pick a pocket or two, boys
- 00:07:24,235 --> 00:07:31,199 You've got to pick a pocket or two
- 00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:37,456 Lovely. Just lovely.
- 00:07:37,623 --> 00:07:39,249 Really? Thanks.
- 00:07:39,417 --> 00:07:42,919 Listen, Joey, we definitely wanna see you for the callback on Saturday.
- 00:07:43,087 --> 00:07:44,379 Excellent.
- 00:07:44,589 --> 00:07:46,339 - I'll be there. - Ha, ha. Okay.
- 00:07:46,507 --> 00:07:49,926 And listen, don't forget to bring your jazz shoes for the dance audition.
- 00:07:52,889 --> 00:07:57,434 Uh, my agent said that it wasn't a dancing part.
- 00:07:57,602 --> 00:08:00,479 Joey, all the roles gotta dance a little. Ha, ha.
- 00:08:00,646 --> 00:08:03,815 But believe me, with your dance background, it'll be a piece of cake.
- 00:08:03,983 --> 00:08:07,277 Three years of modern dance with Twyla Tharp?
- 00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:11,239 Five years with the American Ballet Theatre?
- 00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:16,703 Hey, everybody lies on their résumé, okay?
- 00:08:16,871 --> 00:08:19,581 I wasn't one of the Zoom kids either.
- 00:08:20,374 --> 00:08:22,626 Well, can you, like, dance at all?
- 00:08:22,835 --> 00:08:25,253 Yeah, I can dance. You know:
- 00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:36,306 Oh, no, no, no.
- 00:08:37,850 --> 00:08:39,017 What is that?
- 00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:42,354 Sure, it looks stupid now. There's no music playing.
- 00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:44,022 [PHONE RINGING]
- 00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:46,483 All right, I have to get that. But no, no.
- 00:08:47,902 --> 00:08:49,319 Hello?
- 00:08:49,487 --> 00:08:51,655 Hi. Ha, ha.
- 00:08:51,822 --> 00:08:56,910 Yeah, listen, I'm in need of a stripper, and I was told that you do that.
- 00:08:57,662 --> 00:08:59,663 [CHUCKLING]
- 00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:03,875 Let me ask you this. What do you do for the extra hundred?
- 00:09:05,336 --> 00:09:09,005 So would I have to provide the grapes?
- 00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:11,174 - Hi. - Ooh.
- 00:09:11,342 --> 00:09:13,260 How was last night with Julio, señorita? Ha, ha.
- 00:09:13,427 --> 00:09:14,886 It was so amazing.
- 00:09:15,054 --> 00:09:18,139 He's so sexy and smart, which makes him even sexier.
- 00:09:18,307 --> 00:09:20,892 Oh, my gosh. Last night we were fooling around...
- 00:09:21,060 --> 00:09:24,104 ...and all of a sudden he stops to write a poem.
- 00:09:24,272 --> 00:09:27,857 Get out. I couldn't stop if a meteor hit me.
- 00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:34,906 Okay, we have our stripper, a Miss Crystal Chandelier.
- 00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:38,535 Well, sure. You name a kid that, what do you expect them to grow up to be?
- 00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:43,665 Ahem. Anyway, when he left he forgot to take the poem with him.
- 00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:48,420 Now, I am totally dense about poetry, but I think this is pretty good, all right?
- 00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:51,339 Check it out. Read it.
- 00:09:52,091 --> 00:09:53,842 "The Empty Vase."
- 00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:55,176 Translucent beauty...
- 00:09:55,344 --> 00:09:57,178 To yourself.
- 00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:03,893 - Hey, you know, that's pretty good. - Yeah, I think so too. Phoebe?
- 00:10:04,061 --> 00:10:06,563 - Oh, yeah. - Oh, great. I'm so glad you guys like it.
- 00:10:06,731 --> 00:10:09,774 - Yay. All right, I gotta go to work. - No, no. I'm not done.
- 00:10:11,068 --> 00:10:12,652 Give it back when you're through.
- 00:10:12,820 --> 00:10:14,446 - Okay, see you guys. - Bye-bye.
- 00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:15,947 PHOEBE: Bye.
- 00:10:16,115 --> 00:10:18,450 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Poor Monica.
- 00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:20,910 - What? What? What? PHOEBE: What?
- 00:10:21,078 --> 00:10:23,496 He was with her when he wrote this poem. Look.
- 00:10:23,664 --> 00:10:26,499 My vessel so lovely With nothing inside
- 00:10:26,667 --> 00:10:29,586 Now that I've touched you You seem emptier still
- 00:10:29,754 --> 00:10:32,672 He thinks Monica's empty. She's the empty vase.
- 00:10:33,424 --> 00:10:36,217 - You really think that's what he meant? - Totally.
- 00:10:36,385 --> 00:10:39,137 Oh, God. Oh, and she seems so happy too.
- 00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:41,181 Done.
- 00:10:51,567 --> 00:10:54,027 Do you have the Ralph Lauren file?
- 00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:56,946 Oh, yeah, sure. It's, uh right...
- 00:10:57,114 --> 00:10:59,115 [FRANCIS LAI'S "LOVE STORY" PLAYING ON SPEAKER]
- 00:11:01,827 --> 00:11:03,286 What's that?
- 00:11:03,454 --> 00:11:05,747 Uh, it's from Ross. It's a love bug.
- 00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:06,956 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:11:07,124 --> 00:11:10,460 Wow. Somebody wants people to know you have a boyfriend.
- 00:11:10,628 --> 00:11:13,630 Oh, no. No, no, no. That's not what he's doing.
- 00:11:13,798 --> 00:11:16,675 - He's just really romantic. - Okay.
- 00:11:16,842 --> 00:11:19,135 Excuse me. Are you Rachel Green?
- 00:11:19,303 --> 00:11:20,512 Yes, I am.
- 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:21,721 [PLAYS TONE]
- 00:11:21,889 --> 00:11:22,972 One, two, three.
- 00:11:23,140 --> 00:11:25,183 QUARTET [SINGING]: Congratulations on your first week
- 00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:26,810 At your brand-new job
- 00:11:26,977 --> 00:11:28,770 It won't be long Before you're the boss
- 00:11:28,979 --> 00:11:30,021 [SCATTING]
- 00:11:30,189 --> 00:11:32,899 And you know who will be there To support you
- 00:11:33,067 --> 00:11:34,484 Your one and only boyfriend
- 00:11:34,652 --> 00:11:36,277 It's nice to have a boyfriend.
- 00:11:36,445 --> 00:11:40,323 Your loyal, loving boyfriend, Ross Ross!
- 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:48,790 I'm hurt. I'm actually hurt...
- 00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:53,002 ...that you'd think I'd send you those things out of anything other than love.
- 00:11:53,170 --> 00:11:54,796 Hurt.
- 00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:58,258 - Hurt. - All right, Ross, I get it. You're hurt.
- 00:11:58,426 --> 00:12:03,763 Can't a guy send a barbershop quartet to his girlfriend's office anymore?
- 00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:07,934 Oh, please. Ross, it was so obvious.
- 00:12:08,102 --> 00:12:10,103 It was like you were marking your territory.
- 00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:14,858 I mean, you might as well have just come in and peed all around my desk.
- 00:12:16,485 --> 00:12:18,445 I would never do that.
- 00:12:20,906 --> 00:12:23,032 Look, I know what's going on here, okay?
- 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:27,495 Mark explained it all to me. He said this is what you guys do.
- 00:12:27,663 --> 00:12:31,499 Yeah, well, if Mark said that, then Mark's an idiot.
- 00:12:31,667 --> 00:12:33,001 Mark's a genius.
- 00:12:33,169 --> 00:12:37,130 - Why? How? How is he a genius? - Look, don't you see what's happening?
- 00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:40,425 Instead of hitting on her right away, he's becoming her confidant.
- 00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:44,053 Now he's gonna be the guy that she goes to to complain about you.
- 00:12:44,221 --> 00:12:45,430 What am I gonna do?
- 00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:47,557 Well, why don't you send her a musical bug?
- 00:12:47,725 --> 00:12:49,976 Oh, no, you already did that.
- 00:12:51,937 --> 00:12:54,981 All right, look, you're gonna have to go there yourself now, okay?
- 00:12:55,149 --> 00:12:57,776 - Make a few surprise visits. - I don't know, you guys.
- 00:12:57,943 --> 00:13:00,445 Fine, don't do anything. Just sit here and talk to us.
- 00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:04,949 Meanwhile, she is talking to him about you. And he's being Mr. Joe-Sensitive.
- 00:13:05,117 --> 00:13:09,287 She starts thinking, "Maybe this is the guy for me because he understands me."
- 00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:11,456 And before you know it, she's with him.
- 00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:14,459 And you'll be all, "Oh, man."
- 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:16,795 And he'll be all, "Yes!"
- 00:13:19,006 --> 00:13:21,633 And us, we'll be like, "Oh, dude."
- 00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:26,012 And pretty soon you'll be like:
- 00:13:26,180 --> 00:13:28,264 [IN SAD VOICE] "Hi."
- 00:13:29,099 --> 00:13:34,229 And, "Well, I can't go. Rachel and Mark might be there."
- 00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:38,149 [IN NORMAL VOICE] And we'll be like, "Man, get over it. It's been four years."
- 00:13:40,611 --> 00:13:43,279 He paints quite a picture, doesn't he?
- 00:13:46,283 --> 00:13:48,618 Here's the Shelli Segal stuff for December.
- 00:13:48,786 --> 00:13:51,788 - Oh, wait, I've got something for you. - What? Oh... Mark.
- 00:13:51,956 --> 00:13:53,832 It's okay. Rachel knows.
- 00:13:53,999 --> 00:13:56,167 Yeah, but even so... Ha, ha.
- 00:13:56,335 --> 00:13:59,546 I can't help it. I'm just crazy about you.
- 00:13:59,713 --> 00:14:02,799 Oh, that is so sweet.
- 00:14:03,759 --> 00:14:04,801 MARK: Okay, okay.
- 00:14:04,969 --> 00:14:07,720 I know I'm Mr. Inappropriate today, but it's just so tough.
- 00:14:07,888 --> 00:14:11,057 I see you walking around, and I just wanna touch and hold you.
- 00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:14,018 - Aw. - Come on, no one's around. Just kiss me.
- 00:14:14,186 --> 00:14:17,856 - All right, that's it. Get off. Get off of her. - What is going on?
- 00:14:18,023 --> 00:14:20,817 What's going on? I'll tell you what's going on.
- 00:14:21,026 --> 00:14:22,861 Ross.
- 00:14:27,408 --> 00:14:31,953 I have been down in your store for 20 minutes, trying to get a tie.
- 00:14:34,081 --> 00:14:36,791 What do I have to do to get some service?
- 00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:40,420 Hi, Rach.
- 00:14:48,220 --> 00:14:50,847 Uh, Joey? Joey Tribbiani?
- 00:14:56,312 --> 00:15:00,023 Listen, Joey, I got a problem. I just got a call from my dance captain.
- 00:15:00,190 --> 00:15:03,359 He's having a relationship crisis and can't get out of Long Island.
- 00:15:03,527 --> 00:15:05,653 So does that mean the audition's off?
- 00:15:05,821 --> 00:15:09,407 Listen, Joey, seeing as you've got the most experience...
- 00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:13,161 ...I want you to take these dancers and teach them the combination.
- 00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:15,705 What?
- 00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:17,248 Oh, Joey, come on, it's easy.
- 00:15:17,416 --> 00:15:22,086 You know, it's hand, hand, head, head...
- 00:15:22,254 --> 00:15:24,088 ...up, pas de bourrée, pas de bourrée...
- 00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:26,883 ...big turn here, rond de jambe, sissonne, sissonne...
- 00:15:27,051 --> 00:15:29,385 ...slide, step, step...
- 00:15:29,553 --> 00:15:31,471 ...and jazz hands.
- 00:15:34,099 --> 00:15:37,310 So that's steppity-step and jazz hands.
- 00:15:37,478 --> 00:15:39,479 Have fun.
- 00:15:39,647 --> 00:15:41,314 Bye.
- 00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:45,902 - Hey. - Hey.
- 00:15:46,070 --> 00:15:47,570 - What are you wrapping? - Oh.
- 00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:50,156 Look what I got Julio.
- 00:15:53,452 --> 00:15:55,995 - Yeah, it's a vase. - Yeah.
- 00:15:56,163 --> 00:15:57,538 Just like the one in the poem.
- 00:15:57,706 --> 00:16:01,000 Yeah, well, not exactly like the one in the poem.
- 00:16:01,543 --> 00:16:02,585 What do you mean?
- 00:16:02,753 --> 00:16:05,463 Remember how you said you were really dense about poetry?
- 00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:07,465 Yeah.
- 00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:09,592 Oh.
- 00:16:12,471 --> 00:16:16,516 - So I'm just an empty vase, huh? - What?
- 00:16:16,684 --> 00:16:19,060 So I don't read as many important books as you do.
- 00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:23,815 I don't write poems that seem to be about one thing but are about something else.
- 00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:26,526 And you know what? I get excited about stupid stuff...
- 00:16:26,694 --> 00:16:29,070 ...like when my People magazine comes on Saturday...
- 00:16:29,238 --> 00:16:31,948 ...and the new Hold Everything catalog.
- 00:16:32,157 --> 00:16:33,700 But that does not mean I'm empty.
- 00:16:33,867 --> 00:16:36,452 I care about things. I care about my friends and family.
- 00:16:36,620 --> 00:16:38,871 You have no right to make that judgment about me.
- 00:16:39,039 --> 00:16:40,957 - You don't even know me. - Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- 00:16:41,125 --> 00:16:43,251 The poem is not about you.
- 00:16:44,795 --> 00:16:48,381 - What? - "The Empty Vase" is not about you.
- 00:16:48,549 --> 00:16:50,633 My baby preciosa.
- 00:16:50,801 --> 00:16:53,094 You make me so sad that you would think this.
- 00:16:55,973 --> 00:16:59,976 - I'm sorry. It's... My friend Phoebe said... JULIO: No, it's...
- 00:17:00,144 --> 00:17:02,228 It's about all women.
- 00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:07,150 Well, heh, all American women.
- 00:17:09,069 --> 00:17:10,403 You feel better now?
- 00:17:10,988 --> 00:17:13,031 Oh, yeah.
- 00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:17,201 All right, let's do it.
- 00:17:17,369 --> 00:17:19,037 [UPBEAT SHOW TUNE PLAYING ON PIANO]
- 00:17:35,846 --> 00:17:38,056 No, no, no.
- 00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:40,141 What was that?
- 00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:42,894 I know, it's the best I could get out of them.
- 00:17:44,438 --> 00:17:48,649 - Well, people. - People, people, people.
- 00:17:48,817 --> 00:17:53,446 Let's try it again. And this time, let's everybody watch Joey.
- 00:17:55,282 --> 00:17:57,200 Show them how it's done.
- 00:18:02,831 --> 00:18:03,873 Count it off, Mack.
- 00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:05,833 [UPBEAT SHOW TUNE PLAYING ON PIANO]
- 00:18:16,512 --> 00:18:18,930 So did you have fun at the bachelor party last night?
- 00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:20,598 Oh, yeah. Yeah. Look what I got.
- 00:18:20,766 --> 00:18:22,642 - See, she's fully dressed, right? - Right.
- 00:18:22,810 --> 00:18:26,229 And then you click it and, uh-oh, she's naked.
- 00:18:27,981 --> 00:18:30,691 And then you click it again and she's dressed.
- 00:18:30,901 --> 00:18:33,277 She's a business woman, walking down the street.
- 00:18:33,445 --> 00:18:36,030 She's window shopping, and, oh, oh, oh, she's naked.
- 00:18:43,497 --> 00:18:44,705 Hi.
- 00:18:45,374 --> 00:18:46,999 Hello.
- 00:18:48,168 --> 00:18:50,920 You know what? I'm gonna spend some alone time with the pen.
- 00:19:00,055 --> 00:19:03,057 I'm sorry. I was an idiot.
- 00:19:03,225 --> 00:19:06,435 - A big idiot. - A big idiot. Heh.
- 00:19:07,521 --> 00:19:12,024 It's just, you have to realize, this whole Mark thing is really hard for me.
- 00:19:12,192 --> 00:19:15,903 Honey, why is it hard? We've been together for almost a year now.
- 00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:22,410 Well, I was with Carol for like eight years, and I lost her.
- 00:19:23,245 --> 00:19:26,247 And now, if it's possible, I think I love you even more.
- 00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:30,042 So it's hard for me to believe I'm not gonna...
- 00:19:30,210 --> 00:19:34,088 Well, that someone else isn't gonna take you away.
- 00:19:34,256 --> 00:19:37,258 Let it be me. Let it be me.
- 00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:45,224 Honey, that's very sweet.
- 00:19:45,434 --> 00:19:49,228 It just seems to me, though, that if two people love each other...
- 00:19:49,396 --> 00:19:51,898 ...and trust each other, like we do...
- 00:19:52,065 --> 00:19:54,275 ...there's no reason to be jealous.
- 00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:04,660 I gotta get going. Bye, Chandler.
- 00:20:04,828 --> 00:20:05,870 Oh, okay, Ross.
- 00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:09,916 Listen, this pen's getting kind of boring, so can you pick me up some porn?
- 00:20:12,961 --> 00:20:15,087 - Where you going? - I've gotta go pick up Ben.
- 00:20:15,255 --> 00:20:16,923 We've got a playdate this afternoon.
- 00:20:17,090 --> 00:20:18,758 Oh. With who?
- 00:20:18,926 --> 00:20:21,594 Just this woman I met last night at the party.
- 00:20:21,762 --> 00:20:23,429 There was a woman at?
- 00:20:25,807 --> 00:20:26,933 The stripper?
- 00:20:28,185 --> 00:20:29,602 Yeah.
- 00:20:29,770 --> 00:20:32,146 You have a playdate with a stripper?
- 00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:35,816 Man, I gotta get a kid.
- 00:20:37,945 --> 00:20:40,029 [LAUGHING]
- 00:20:41,990 --> 00:20:43,366 Uh, yeah, yeah.
- 00:20:43,533 --> 00:20:46,244 We started talking after she, you know, did her thing...
- 00:20:46,411 --> 00:20:48,788 ...and it turns out she's got a boy about Ben's age.
- 00:20:48,956 --> 00:20:50,915 So we're gonna take the kids to a Gymboree class.
- 00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:52,333 - Meh. RACHEL: Oh.
- 00:20:52,501 --> 00:20:54,710 - Is that okay? - Sure. Is she married?
- 00:20:54,878 --> 00:20:57,380 - No. - Huh.
- 00:21:02,135 --> 00:21:03,177 Are you jealous?
- 00:21:04,471 --> 00:21:08,224 No. You know, I just don't see why she has to play with you, that's all.
- 00:21:08,392 --> 00:21:10,101 I mean, doesn't she, you know...
- 00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:13,813 ...have any other stripper-mom friends of her own?
- 00:21:17,025 --> 00:21:21,028 - You are totally jealous. - Ugh. I'm not jealous, all right?
- 00:21:21,196 --> 00:21:23,531 This is about...
- 00:21:23,865 --> 00:21:27,952 ...um, people feeling certain things...
- 00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:30,288 ...you know, about...
- 00:21:30,455 --> 00:21:31,622 ...strippers. - Oh.
- 00:21:31,790 --> 00:21:35,793 - And, you know... And, um... I... Ugh. - Honey, I love you too.
- 00:21:35,961 --> 00:21:38,421 - Bye. - Wait, wait, wait.
- 00:21:38,588 --> 00:21:40,047 What?
- 00:21:47,097 --> 00:21:48,347 [GRUNTS]
- 00:21:53,228 --> 00:21:56,272 Well, there's a kiss he won't forget for a few hours, you know?
- 00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:57,732 - Yeah. - Ha, ha.
- 00:21:57,899 --> 00:22:01,444 Either that or you just turned him on and sent him off to a stripper.
- 00:22:07,326 --> 00:22:09,785 Is there a Julio here?
- 00:22:10,287 --> 00:22:11,329 I am Julio.
- 00:22:11,997 --> 00:22:13,080 [SCATTING]
- 00:22:13,248 --> 00:22:14,832 [SINGING] Mr. Pretentious
- 00:22:15,459 --> 00:22:16,834 You think there's no one finer
- 00:22:17,044 --> 00:22:20,588 Well, your poems are unpublished And you work in a diner
- 00:22:20,756 --> 00:22:26,093 QUARTET: You're no God's gift to women That's all in your head
- 00:22:26,261 --> 00:22:27,428 You are just a butt-munch
- 00:22:27,596 --> 00:22:28,804 No one likes a butt-munch.
- 00:22:28,972 --> 00:22:32,266 And you're also bad in bed
- 00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:45,321 [English - US - SDH]
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