Эпизод, где Рэйчел увольняется
Описание
Когда Гюнтер говорит Рейчел, что ей нужно пройти переподготовку, несмотря на то, что она проработала в кофейне два с половиной года, она приходит в ярость и в конце концов увольняется, следуя совету Чендлера и Джои преодолеть страх безработицы, чтобы посвятить себя своей страсти к моде. Оба мужчины затем помогают ей в поисках работы: Чендлер помогает ей составить резюме, а Джои с помощью своего отца находит ей работу в Fortunata Fashions. В конце концов, она устраивается на работу в Fortunata Fashions, но ее радость оказывается недолгой, когда она узнает, что работа по-прежнему требует от нее работы официанткой. Фиби помогает Джои продавать рождественские елки, но расстраивается, узнав, что старые и неиспользуемые елки выбрасывают в измельчитель. Моника и Джои решают выкупить все эти елки, чтобы успокоить Фиби. Росс случайно ломает ногу маленькой девочке, а затем пытается загладить свою вину, помогая ей продавать печенье «Коричневая птичка» людям (включая Монику, которая снова подсаживается на печенье «Мятные сокровища»), чтобы помочь ей выиграть поездку в космический лагерь. Когда в итоге поездка не удаётся, он решает подарить девочке беспрецедентный частный опыт пребывания в космическом лагере с помощью Чендлера и Джои.
Субтитры
- 00:00:02,877 --> 00:00:05,337 - Hmm. Oh, I don't know. - What?
- 00:00:05,505 --> 00:00:07,923 Well, as old as he is in dog years...
- 00:00:08,091 --> 00:00:11,677 ...do you think Snoopy should still be allowed to fly this thing?
- 00:00:11,886 --> 00:00:14,013 - Rachel? - Yeah?
- 00:00:14,180 --> 00:00:18,183 Remember when you came, you spent two weeks getting trained by another waitress?
- 00:00:18,351 --> 00:00:21,103 Oh, sure. Do you need me to train somebody new?
- 00:00:21,271 --> 00:00:23,564 Ha-ha-ha. Good one.
- 00:00:24,774 --> 00:00:28,694 Actually, uh, Terry wants you to take the training again.
- 00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:29,903 Whenever.
- 00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:32,197 [RACHEL SCOFFS]
- 00:00:33,658 --> 00:00:35,325 Do you believe that?
- 00:00:35,493 --> 00:00:38,037 [SCOFFING]
- 00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:41,915 Yeah.
- 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:37,137 SARAH: So that's two boxes of the Holiday Macaroons.
- 00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:40,891 On behalf of the Brown Birds of America, I salute you.
- 00:01:41,059 --> 00:01:42,518 [TWEETS]
- 00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:46,438 Just admit it. You have no backhand.
- 00:01:46,606 --> 00:01:49,733 Excuse me, little one. I have a very solid backhand.
- 00:01:49,901 --> 00:01:53,153 Shielding your face and shrieking like a girl...
- 00:01:53,321 --> 00:01:55,364 ...is not a backhand.
- 00:01:56,699 --> 00:01:58,367 I was shrieking...
- 00:01:58,535 --> 00:01:59,660 ...like a Marine.
- 00:02:01,913 --> 00:02:06,333 All right, here, watch me execute the three P's of championship play.
- 00:02:06,501 --> 00:02:08,252 Power, huah...
- 00:02:08,419 --> 00:02:09,837 ...precision, shew...
- 00:02:10,004 --> 00:02:11,130 ...and panache.
- 00:02:11,464 --> 00:02:13,048 [SARAH SCREAMS]
- 00:02:15,885 --> 00:02:17,719 You broke a little girl's leg?
- 00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:20,639 I know. I feel horrible, okay?
- 00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:24,977 It says here that a Muppet got whacked on Sesame Street last night.
- 00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:28,730 Where exactly were you around 10-ish?
- 00:02:29,732 --> 00:02:33,443 Well, I'm gonna go see her. I wanna bring her something.
- 00:02:33,611 --> 00:02:36,280 - What do you think she'd like? - Maybe a Hello Kitty doll?
- 00:02:36,447 --> 00:02:38,574 The ability to walk?
- 00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:42,202 [RACHEL CLEARS THROAT]
- 00:02:42,370 --> 00:02:44,371 I'm gonna get back to retraining. Ahem.
- 00:02:44,539 --> 00:02:46,582 All right. See you guys.
- 00:02:46,749 --> 00:02:48,584 Look out, kids. He's coming.
- 00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:53,964 And I gotta go sell some Christmas trees.
- 00:02:54,132 --> 00:02:56,550 Have fun. Oh, wait. No, don't.
- 00:02:56,718 --> 00:03:00,012 I forgot. I am totally against that now.
- 00:03:00,972 --> 00:03:03,599 What? Me having a job?
- 00:03:03,975 --> 00:03:08,437 No, no. I am against innocent trees being cut down in their prime...
- 00:03:08,605 --> 00:03:11,440 ...and their corpses grotesquely dressed...
- 00:03:11,608 --> 00:03:14,651 ...in, like, tinsel and twinkly lights.
- 00:03:14,819 --> 00:03:16,820 Hey, how do you sleep at night?
- 00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:20,574 Well, I'm pretty tired from lugging the trees around.
- 00:03:21,826 --> 00:03:23,368 Hey, Phoebe, listen.
- 00:03:23,536 --> 00:03:25,370 You got this all wrong.
- 00:03:25,538 --> 00:03:27,581 Those trees were born to be Christmas trees.
- 00:03:27,749 --> 00:03:31,960 They're fulfilling their life purpose by making people happy.
- 00:03:32,128 --> 00:03:33,295 Really?
- 00:03:35,423 --> 00:03:37,216 Yes.
- 00:03:37,717 --> 00:03:39,927 Yes, and, uh, the trees are happy too...
- 00:03:40,094 --> 00:03:44,223 ...because for most of them, it's their only chance to see New York.
- 00:03:48,144 --> 00:03:50,646 After you've delivered the drinks, you take the tray...
- 00:03:50,813 --> 00:03:54,316 Gunther, Gunther, please. I have worked here for two and a half years.
- 00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:57,194 I know the empty trays go over there.
- 00:03:57,362 --> 00:04:00,280 What if you put them here?
- 00:04:00,448 --> 00:04:01,740 Huh.
- 00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:05,744 You know, that's actually a good idea. They'll be closer to the mugs.
- 00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:09,623 You know what? You should have the other waitresses do that too.
- 00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:12,292 - They already do. - Huh?
- 00:04:12,460 --> 00:04:14,795 That's why they call it "the tray spot."
- 00:04:15,296 --> 00:04:18,966 I always heard them talk about that. I just thought it was a club they went to.
- 00:04:19,133 --> 00:04:20,926 Oh, God.
- 00:04:22,470 --> 00:04:25,514 - I'm sorry. - It's all right.
- 00:04:26,599 --> 00:04:28,308 Sweetheart.
- 00:04:30,853 --> 00:04:34,648 So this must be kind of neat for you, huh?
- 00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:37,401 Your dad tells me you get a couple of days off school...
- 00:04:37,568 --> 00:04:40,737 ...and you don't have to sell those cookies anymore.
- 00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:44,533 Well, I kind of wanted to sell the cookies.
- 00:04:44,701 --> 00:04:47,452 The girl who sells the most wins a trip to Space Camp...
- 00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:49,788 ...and gets to sit in a real space shuttle.
- 00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:54,626 Wow, you really like all this space stuff, huh?
- 00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:58,338 Yeah. My dad says if I'd spend as much time helping him clean apartments...
- 00:04:58,506 --> 00:05:01,008 ...as I do daydreaming about outer space...
- 00:05:01,175 --> 00:05:03,927 ...he'd be able to afford a trip to the Taj Mahal.
- 00:05:04,095 --> 00:05:08,348 I think you'd have to clean a whole lot of apartments to go all the way to India.
- 00:05:08,516 --> 00:05:11,685 No, the one in Atlantic City. Dad loves the slots.
- 00:05:13,813 --> 00:05:17,232 He says he's gonna double the college money my grandma left me.
- 00:05:18,276 --> 00:05:19,776 Huh.
- 00:05:19,944 --> 00:05:22,237 Well, good luck to Dad.
- 00:05:22,864 --> 00:05:24,072 [SARAH SIGHS]
- 00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:28,910 Say, how many more boxes would you have to sell in order to win?
- 00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:33,415 - The girl who won last year sold 475. - Yeah?
- 00:05:33,583 --> 00:05:36,460 So far, I've sold 75.
- 00:05:39,213 --> 00:05:41,298 Four hundred, huh?
- 00:05:41,799 --> 00:05:45,177 Well, that sounds doable. How much are the boxes?
- 00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:46,511 Five dollars a box.
- 00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:49,431 And what is second prize?
- 00:05:50,266 --> 00:05:51,558 A 10-speed bike.
- 00:05:51,726 --> 00:05:54,311 But I'd rather have something my dad couldn't sell.
- 00:05:57,106 --> 00:05:58,523 Well, that makes sense.
- 00:05:58,983 --> 00:06:01,568 Could you do me one favor? If it's not too much trouble.
- 00:06:01,736 --> 00:06:05,197 - Yeah, Sarah, anything. - Could you pull the curtains open for me?
- 00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:08,283 The astronauts from the space shuttle are gonna be on the news.
- 00:06:08,451 --> 00:06:10,952 Since we don't have a TV, the lady across the alley...
- 00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:14,456 ...said she'd push hers up to her window so I can watch it.
- 00:06:26,969 --> 00:06:28,261 WOMAN: Yes?
- 00:06:28,429 --> 00:06:31,056 Yeah, hi. I'm selling Brown Bird cookies.
- 00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:36,228 You're no Brown Bird. I can see you through my peephole.
- 00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:40,857 Um, no, hi. I'm an honorary Brown Bird.
- 00:06:41,025 --> 00:06:42,442 [TWEETS]
- 00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:45,987 What does that mean?
- 00:06:46,155 --> 00:06:50,117 Uh, well, it means that I can sell cookies, but I'm not invited to sleepovers.
- 00:06:50,284 --> 00:06:51,535 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:06:55,039 --> 00:06:57,749 I can dial 911 at the press of a button, you know.
- 00:06:57,917 --> 00:06:59,251 Now, go away.
- 00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:02,212 Please, please. It's for a poor little girl...
- 00:07:02,380 --> 00:07:05,966 ...who wants to go to Space Camp more than anything in the world.
- 00:07:06,134 --> 00:07:07,551 - I'm pressing. - No...
- 00:07:07,718 --> 00:07:09,761 A policeman is on his way.
- 00:07:09,929 --> 00:07:12,973 Okay, okay. I'm going, I'm going.
- 00:07:16,686 --> 00:07:17,727 [SIGHS]
- 00:07:17,895 --> 00:07:21,189 - I can still see you. - All right.
- 00:07:23,985 --> 00:07:25,485 Hey.
- 00:07:25,653 --> 00:07:27,988 Hey. What are you doing here?
- 00:07:28,156 --> 00:07:30,198 Well, I thought a lot about what you said...
- 00:07:30,366 --> 00:07:34,578 ...and I realized, all right, maybe I was a little judgmental.
- 00:07:34,745 --> 00:07:36,872 Yeah. Oh, but, oh. Ugh.
- 00:07:37,039 --> 00:07:39,499 Now, now, Phoebe, remember, hey...
- 00:07:39,667 --> 00:07:41,960 ...they're just fulfilling their Christmas...
- 00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:43,587 - Destiny. Yes. - Sure.
- 00:07:43,754 --> 00:07:46,465 - Right. - Okay.
- 00:07:46,966 --> 00:07:49,968 Yikes. That one doesn't look very fulfilled.
- 00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:53,388 Oh, that's one of the old ones. He's just taking it to the back.
- 00:07:53,556 --> 00:07:55,932 PHOEBE: You keep the old ones in the back?
- 00:07:56,100 --> 00:07:58,393 That is so ageist.
- 00:07:59,437 --> 00:08:03,815 - We have to make room for the fresh ones. - So, what happens to the old guys?
- 00:08:04,358 --> 00:08:05,859 Well, they go into the chipper.
- 00:08:07,361 --> 00:08:10,322 Why do I have a feeling that's not as happy as it sounds?
- 00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,491 [DRONING]
- 00:08:13,826 --> 00:08:14,868 No. No!
- 00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:17,662 [GASPING]
- 00:08:19,624 --> 00:08:20,749 [YELLS]
- 00:08:21,626 --> 00:08:23,418 Hey, hey, hey.
- 00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:30,133 And these come in the shapes of Christmas characters.
- 00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:32,969 Santa, Rudolph and Baby Jesus.
- 00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:34,638 Oh.
- 00:08:34,805 --> 00:08:37,516 All right. I'll take a box of the cream-filled Jesuses.
- 00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:42,562 Wait a minute, one box? I'm trying to send a poor little girl to Space Camp.
- 00:08:42,730 --> 00:08:45,690 I'm putting you down for five boxes. Chandler, what about you?
- 00:08:45,858 --> 00:08:50,195 All right, do you have any, uh, coconut-flavored deities?
- 00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:54,533 No, but there's coconut in the Hanukkah Menorah-eos.
- 00:08:55,451 --> 00:08:58,161 I'll put you down for eight boxes, one for each night.
- 00:08:58,329 --> 00:08:59,371 [MOUTHS] Okay.
- 00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:02,499 ROSS: Mon? - I'll take one box of the Mint Treasures.
- 00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:04,793 One, and that's it.
- 00:09:04,961 --> 00:09:07,546 I started gaining weight after I joined the Brown Birds.
- 00:09:07,713 --> 00:09:11,591 Remember Dad bought every one of my boxes and I ate them all?
- 00:09:12,593 --> 00:09:15,554 No, Mon, Dad had to buy every one of your boxes...
- 00:09:15,721 --> 00:09:17,681 ...because you ate them all.
- 00:09:20,059 --> 00:09:24,854 But, you know, I'm sure that's not gonna happen this time.
- 00:09:25,022 --> 00:09:27,649 Why don't I just put you down for three Mint Treasures...
- 00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:29,609 ...and just a couple of the Rudolphs?
- 00:09:29,777 --> 00:09:31,278 No.
- 00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:36,449 Oh, come on, now. You know you want them.
- 00:09:36,617 --> 00:09:39,035 [STAMMERS] Don't do this.
- 00:09:39,203 --> 00:09:43,707 I'll tell you what, Mon. I'll give you the first box for free.
- 00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:46,668 Oh, God, I gotta go.
- 00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:49,963 Come on. All the cool kids are eating them.
- 00:09:52,133 --> 00:09:55,343 And later I wanna show you why we don't just trap spiders...
- 00:09:55,511 --> 00:09:58,305 ...under coffee mugs and leave them there.
- 00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:06,021 I'm training to be better at a job that I hate. My life officially sucks.
- 00:10:06,188 --> 00:10:10,066 But wasn't this supposed to be temporary? I thought you wanted to do fashion stuff.
- 00:10:10,234 --> 00:10:12,569 Well, yeah, I'm still pursuing that.
- 00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:15,739 How, exactly, are you pursuing that?
- 00:10:15,906 --> 00:10:19,826 You know, other than sending out résumés, like, what, two years ago?
- 00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:23,705 Well, I'm also sending out...
- 00:10:23,873 --> 00:10:26,374 ...good thoughts.
- 00:10:27,126 --> 00:10:29,919 If you ask me, as long as you got this job...
- 00:10:30,087 --> 00:10:32,797 ...you got nothing pushing you to get another one.
- 00:10:32,965 --> 00:10:35,216 You need The Fear.
- 00:10:35,384 --> 00:10:37,052 - The Fear? CHANDLER: He's right.
- 00:10:37,219 --> 00:10:39,471 If you quit this job, you then have motivation...
- 00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,973 ...to go after a job you really want.
- 00:10:42,141 --> 00:10:46,853 How come you're still at a job you hate? Why don't you quit and get The Fear?
- 00:10:47,021 --> 00:10:48,063 [BOTH LAUGH]
- 00:10:48,230 --> 00:10:50,398 Because I'm too afraid.
- 00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:52,901 God. I don't know.
- 00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:57,322 I mean, I would give anything to work for a designer, you know, or a buyer.
- 00:10:57,490 --> 00:11:00,659 Ugh. I just don't wanna be 30 and still work here.
- 00:11:00,826 --> 00:11:05,705 Yeah, that'd be much worse than being 28 and still working here.
- 00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:07,791 - Rachel? - Yeah?
- 00:11:07,958 --> 00:11:12,170 Remind me to review with you which pot is decaf and which is regular.
- 00:11:13,547 --> 00:11:16,091 Can't I just look at the handles on them?
- 00:11:16,258 --> 00:11:18,009 You would think.
- 00:11:18,636 --> 00:11:22,806 Okay, fine. Gunther, you know what? I am a terrible waitress.
- 00:11:22,973 --> 00:11:26,893 Do you know why I'm a terrible waitress? Because I don't care.
- 00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:30,647 I don't care. I don't care which pot is regular and which pot is decaf.
- 00:11:30,815 --> 00:11:32,649 I don't care where the tray spot is.
- 00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:36,069 I just don't care. This is not what I wanna do.
- 00:11:37,279 --> 00:11:40,156 So I don't think I should do it anymore.
- 00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:43,952 - I'm gonna give you my week's notice. - What?
- 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:45,328 Gunther, I quit.
- 00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:51,042 Does this mean we're gonna have to start paying for coffee?
- 00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:57,799 Okay, 12.
- 00:11:57,967 --> 00:11:59,843 Twenty-two.
- 00:12:00,010 --> 00:12:02,011 Eighteen.
- 00:12:02,179 --> 00:12:03,722 [CHANDLER LAUGHS]
- 00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:09,102 - What? - I spelled out "boobies." Ha, ha.
- 00:12:13,649 --> 00:12:17,527 Ross, put me down for another box of the Mint Treasures, okay?
- 00:12:17,695 --> 00:12:20,071 Where are the Mint Treasures?
- 00:12:20,948 --> 00:12:23,032 Uh, we're out. I sold them all.
- 00:12:23,534 --> 00:12:25,076 What?
- 00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:27,662 Monica, I'm cutting you off.
- 00:12:29,915 --> 00:12:32,959 No. No.
- 00:12:33,502 --> 00:12:35,211 Just a couple more boxes.
- 00:12:37,173 --> 00:12:39,591 It's no big deal, all right? I'm cool.
- 00:12:41,469 --> 00:12:44,137 You gotta help me out with a couple more boxes.
- 00:12:45,222 --> 00:12:47,724 Mon, look at yourself. You have cookie on your neck.
- 00:12:48,184 --> 00:12:49,225 Oh, God.
- 00:12:51,353 --> 00:12:55,398 - Whoa. So how many you sold so far? - Ah? Check this out.
- 00:12:55,566 --> 00:12:59,819 - Five hundred and seventeen boxes. - Oh, my God. How did you do that?
- 00:12:59,987 --> 00:13:02,280 Ahem. Okay, the other night, I was leaving the museum...
- 00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:06,868 ...just as Laser Floyd was letting out of the planetarium.
- 00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:09,788 Without even trying, I sold 50 boxes.
- 00:13:09,955 --> 00:13:13,625 That's when it occurred to me. The key to my success: The munchies.
- 00:13:15,336 --> 00:13:20,006 So I started hitting the NYU dorms around midnight.
- 00:13:21,967 --> 00:13:25,136 I am selling cookies by the case.
- 00:13:25,304 --> 00:13:26,387 They call me...
- 00:13:26,555 --> 00:13:28,973 [IN DUMB VOICE] ..."Cookie Dude."
- 00:13:30,434 --> 00:13:34,687 Okay, stop what you're doing. I need envelope stuffers, stamp lickers...
- 00:13:34,855 --> 00:13:37,065 [IN NORMAL VOICE] Oh, hey. Who did these résumés for you?
- 00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:38,650 Me, on my computer.
- 00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:40,777 Well, you sure used a large font.
- 00:13:40,945 --> 00:13:43,530 Uh, yeah. Well, "Waitress at a Coffeehouse"...
- 00:13:43,697 --> 00:13:47,325 ...and "Cheer Squad Co-captain" only took up so much room.
- 00:13:48,619 --> 00:13:50,411 Heh, heh. Hey, that's funny.
- 00:13:50,579 --> 00:13:53,248 You're funny, Chandler. You're a funny guy.
- 00:13:53,415 --> 00:13:55,291 You know what else is really funny?
- 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:58,503 Something else I might have said?
- 00:13:59,296 --> 00:14:00,547 I don't know, I don't know.
- 00:14:00,714 --> 00:14:03,007 Weren't you the guy that told me to quit my job...
- 00:14:03,175 --> 00:14:05,260 ...when I had absolutely nothing else to do?
- 00:14:05,427 --> 00:14:07,428 Ha-ha-ha. Huh? Huh?
- 00:14:09,557 --> 00:14:11,349 Sweetie, calm down. It's gonna be okay.
- 00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:13,101 RACHEL: No, it's not gonna be okay, Ross.
- 00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:17,188 Tomorrow is my last day, and I don't have a lead.
- 00:14:17,356 --> 00:14:19,691 Okay, you know what? I'm just gonna call Gunther...
- 00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:21,860 ...and I'm gonna tell him I'm not quitting.
- 00:14:22,027 --> 00:14:24,445 You don't wanna give in to The Fear.
- 00:14:24,613 --> 00:14:28,032 You and your stupid Fear. I hate your Fear.
- 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:30,660 I would like to take you and your Fear...
- 00:14:30,828 --> 00:14:33,162 Hey. I got great news.
- 00:14:33,330 --> 00:14:35,915 Run, Joey. Run for your life.
- 00:14:37,835 --> 00:14:41,421 What? Rach, listen, have you ever heard of Fortunata Fashions?
- 00:14:41,630 --> 00:14:44,215 - No. - My old man's doing a plumbing job there...
- 00:14:44,383 --> 00:14:46,092 ...and he heard they have an opening.
- 00:14:46,260 --> 00:14:48,386 Want me to see if he can get you an interview?
- 00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:52,432 Oh, my God, yes. I would love that. Oh, that's so sweet, Joey.
- 00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:56,436 Not a problem. And now for the great news.
- 00:14:56,604 --> 00:15:00,356 - What, that wasn't the great news? - Only if you think it's better than this.
- 00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:03,484 Snow-in-a-Can.
- 00:15:04,236 --> 00:15:06,654 I got it at work. You want me to decorate the window?
- 00:15:06,822 --> 00:15:10,867 - Give it kind of a Christmas looky? - Christmas cookie?
- 00:15:16,123 --> 00:15:18,499 Okay, and this one here's a Douglas fir.
- 00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:22,295 Now, it's a little more money, but you get a nicer smell.
- 00:15:23,255 --> 00:15:24,964 Looks good. I'll take it.
- 00:15:25,132 --> 00:15:27,634 Wait, wait, wait. No, no, no. You don't want that one. Uh-uh.
- 00:15:27,801 --> 00:15:32,221 No. You can have this cool brown one. Ooh.
- 00:15:32,389 --> 00:15:34,724 It's almost dead.
- 00:15:34,892 --> 00:15:38,686 But that's why you have to buy it, so that it can fulfill its Christmas destiny.
- 00:15:38,854 --> 00:15:41,606 Otherwise, they're gonna throw it into the chipper. Tell him, Joey.
- 00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:43,107 Uh...
- 00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:47,028 Yeah, the trees that don't fulfill their Christmas destiny, heh...
- 00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:49,489 ...are thrown in the chipper.
- 00:15:50,407 --> 00:15:53,618 I think I'm gonna look around a little bit more.
- 00:15:54,370 --> 00:15:58,414 Pheebs. Heh. You gotta stop doing this. I'm working on commission here.
- 00:16:00,042 --> 00:16:02,335 MONICA: Hey, guys. I'm here to pick out my Christmas tree.
- 00:16:02,503 --> 00:16:05,964 Well, look no further. This one's yours.
- 00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:08,007 Ah.
- 00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:11,469 Is this the one that I threw out last year?
- 00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:15,640 All right, you know what? Never mind. Everybody wants to have a green one.
- 00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:16,849 [SOBS]
- 00:16:17,017 --> 00:16:19,602 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get so emotional.
- 00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:23,106 I guess it's just... The holidays are just hard.
- 00:16:23,273 --> 00:16:27,026 Oh, honey, is that because your mom died around Christmas?
- 00:16:27,194 --> 00:16:29,529 Oh, I wasn't even thinking about that.
- 00:16:30,739 --> 00:16:31,864 Oh.
- 00:16:39,039 --> 00:16:42,083 Hi there. How many did you sell?
- 00:16:42,251 --> 00:16:46,838 I'm not gonna tell you. You're the bad man who broke Sarah's leg.
- 00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:50,800 Hey, now. That was an accident, okay?
- 00:16:50,968 --> 00:16:52,176 You're a big scrud.
- 00:16:54,388 --> 00:16:55,888 What's a scrud?
- 00:16:56,056 --> 00:16:58,141 Why don't you look in the mirror, scrud?
- 00:17:00,269 --> 00:17:03,438 I don't have to. I can just look at you.
- 00:17:05,065 --> 00:17:06,274 All right, girls...
- 00:17:07,526 --> 00:17:09,610 ...and man.
- 00:17:10,279 --> 00:17:12,155 Let's see your final tallies.
- 00:17:12,322 --> 00:17:15,116 Oh... Debbie.
- 00:17:15,993 --> 00:17:19,328 Three hundred and twenty-one boxes of cookies. Very nice.
- 00:17:19,788 --> 00:17:22,123 Not nice enough.
- 00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:23,916 LEADER: Charla.
- 00:17:24,084 --> 00:17:26,127 Two hundred and seventy-eight.
- 00:17:26,295 --> 00:17:28,212 Sorry, dear, but still good.
- 00:17:28,380 --> 00:17:30,965 Good for a scrud.
- 00:17:31,759 --> 00:17:33,384 LEADER: Let's see.
- 00:17:33,552 --> 00:17:35,261 Ooh. Yes, Elizabeth.
- 00:17:35,429 --> 00:17:36,471 [GASPS]
- 00:17:36,638 --> 00:17:38,806 Eight hundred and seventy-one.
- 00:17:38,974 --> 00:17:40,933 That's crap.
- 00:17:44,188 --> 00:17:46,397 Sister Brown Bird.
- 00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:48,733 Good going.
- 00:17:50,986 --> 00:17:53,196 Who's next?
- 00:17:55,199 --> 00:17:56,699 [CLEARS THROAT]
- 00:17:57,451 --> 00:17:59,786 - Hi there. - Hi.
- 00:18:00,662 --> 00:18:03,372 And batting for Sarah...
- 00:18:03,540 --> 00:18:05,875 ...Ross Geller.
- 00:18:06,043 --> 00:18:09,128 Eight hundred and seventy-two.
- 00:18:10,380 --> 00:18:14,759 Although it looks like you bought an awful lot of cookies yourself.
- 00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:21,182 Ahem. That is because my doctor says that I have a very serious...
- 00:18:21,642 --> 00:18:23,684 ...nougat...
- 00:18:25,270 --> 00:18:27,396 ...deficiency.
- 00:18:28,816 --> 00:18:31,567 Tell us what happened, Brown Bird Ross.
- 00:18:32,903 --> 00:18:34,070 Well, I lost.
- 00:18:34,238 --> 00:18:37,198 Some little girl loaned her uniform to her 19-year-old sister...
- 00:18:37,366 --> 00:18:42,245 ...who went down to the USS Nimitz and sold over 2000 boxes.
- 00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:47,416 CHANDLER: Hey. How'd the interview go? - Oh, I blew it.
- 00:18:47,584 --> 00:18:49,710 - I wouldn't have even hired me. ROSS: Oh.
- 00:18:49,878 --> 00:18:51,754 - Ugh. - Come here, sweetie.
- 00:18:51,922 --> 00:18:58,511 Listen, you're gonna go on like a thousand interviews before you get a job.
- 00:19:02,391 --> 00:19:05,434 That's not how that was supposed to come out.
- 00:19:05,602 --> 00:19:08,062 This is just the worst Christmas ever.
- 00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:11,399 Rach, maybe you should just, you know, stay here at the coffeehouse.
- 00:19:11,567 --> 00:19:15,653 I can't. It's too late. Terry already hired that girl over there.
- 00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:20,366 Look at her. She's even got waitress experience. Ugh.
- 00:19:20,534 --> 00:19:22,493 Last night she was...
- 00:19:22,661 --> 00:19:27,790 ...teaching everybody how to make napkins into...
- 00:19:27,958 --> 00:19:29,333 [IN SQUEAKY VOICE] ...swans.
- 00:19:31,253 --> 00:19:32,753 That word was "swans."
- 00:19:32,921 --> 00:19:34,714 [MOUTHS] "Swans."
- 00:19:37,843 --> 00:19:42,471 Well, seeing that drunk Santa wet himself really perked up my Christmas.
- 00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:52,231 Ah! Oh, my God.
- 00:19:52,774 --> 00:19:54,358 [IN UNISON] Merry Christmas!
- 00:19:54,526 --> 00:19:55,735 [SHRIEKING]
- 00:19:55,903 --> 00:19:58,196 PHOEBE: You saved them. You guys.
- 00:19:58,363 --> 00:20:00,364 Oh, God, you're the best.
- 00:20:00,532 --> 00:20:03,117 Looks like Night of the Living Dead Christmas Trees.
- 00:20:04,411 --> 00:20:06,579 [PHONE RINGS]
- 00:20:06,747 --> 00:20:08,372 Hello?
- 00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:10,374 Yeah, this is she.
- 00:20:11,293 --> 00:20:14,587 Oh! You're kidding. You're kidding.
- 00:20:15,172 --> 00:20:17,215 Oh, thank you. I love you.
- 00:20:17,382 --> 00:20:19,675 Sure, everybody loves a kidder.
- 00:20:19,843 --> 00:20:21,510 I got the job.
- 00:20:21,678 --> 00:20:23,846 - Oh, hey. All right! - That's great.
- 00:20:24,014 --> 00:20:27,433 Oh! God bless us, every one.
- 00:20:29,853 --> 00:20:33,147 Here we go. I'm serving my last cup of coffee.
- 00:20:33,315 --> 00:20:36,317 [ALL HUMMING ELGAR'S "POMP AND CIRCUMSTANCE MARCH NO. 1"]
- 00:20:41,031 --> 00:20:44,283 There you go. Enjoy.
- 00:20:44,451 --> 00:20:46,035 Yay!
- 00:20:47,204 --> 00:20:48,913 - Should I tell her I ordered tea? - No.
- 00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:51,082 - No. - No.
- 00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:52,458 Um, excuse me, everyone?
- 00:20:52,668 --> 00:20:56,045 Uh, this is my last night working here...
- 00:20:56,213 --> 00:21:01,634 ...and I just wanted to say that I made some really good friends here.
- 00:21:01,802 --> 00:21:04,470 And it's just time to move on.
- 00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:05,805 [WHIMPERS]
- 00:21:08,642 --> 00:21:11,435 And no offense to everybody who still works here...
- 00:21:11,603 --> 00:21:15,064 ...but you have no idea how good it feels to say...
- 00:21:15,232 --> 00:21:17,775 ...that as of this moment...
- 00:21:17,943 --> 00:21:22,822 ...I will never have to make coffee again.
- 00:21:22,990 --> 00:21:25,825 Now, Mr. Kaplan Sr. Likes his coffee strong.
- 00:21:25,993 --> 00:21:29,412 So you're gonna use two bags instead of one, see?
- 00:21:29,579 --> 00:21:32,373 Now, pay attention because this part's tricky.
- 00:21:32,541 --> 00:21:35,960 See, some people use filters just once.
- 00:21:44,678 --> 00:21:47,346 I'm sorry you didn't get to go to Space Camp...
- 00:21:47,514 --> 00:21:53,102 ...and I'm hoping that maybe somehow, this may help make up for it. Okay?
- 00:21:53,270 --> 00:21:54,729 Presenting...
- 00:21:54,896 --> 00:21:58,983 ...Sarah Tuddle's Private, Very Special Space Camp!
- 00:22:03,196 --> 00:22:05,323 Really, Mr. Geller, you don't have to do this.
- 00:22:05,490 --> 00:22:06,615 Oh, come on. Here we go.
- 00:22:06,783 --> 00:22:07,992 [MIMICS ENGINES ROARING]
- 00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:12,121 Stand by for mission countdown.
- 00:22:12,497 --> 00:22:13,706 [IN ECHOEY VOICE] Ten, ten, ten.
- 00:22:13,874 --> 00:22:15,124 Nine, nine, nine.
- 00:22:15,292 --> 00:22:17,460 Eight, eight, eight. Ow.
- 00:22:18,253 --> 00:22:19,545 Okay, blast off.
- 00:22:19,713 --> 00:22:21,714 [MEN MIMICKING ENGINES ROARING]
- 00:22:26,053 --> 00:22:28,054 [ROSS BEEPING]
- 00:22:29,598 --> 00:22:31,766 [IN FALSETTO VOICE] I'm an alien. I'm an alien.
- 00:22:31,933 --> 00:22:34,935 ROSS: Oh, no, an asteroid!
- 00:22:43,528 --> 00:22:45,529 [English - US - SDH]
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