Эпизод с кроватью в виде гоночного автомобиля
Описание
Рейчел пытается сблизить своего отца и Росса во время совместного ужина, но Росс критикует её отца за то, что тот оставил мало чаевых. Надеясь на последний шанс поладить между мужчинами, Рейчел устраивает бранч на следующее утро, но это оборачивается против неё, когда она понимает, что критика в её адрес — единственное, что объединяет обоих мужчин. Джои ведёт актёрский класс по мыльным операм. Узнав, что один из его учеников конкурирует с ним за ту же роль (боксёра) в мыльной опере, Джои пытается сорвать шансы ученика, предложив ему пройти прослушивание, намекая, что боксёр — гей. Компания ругает Джои за предательство доверия ученика, но в конечном итоге это оборачивается против Джои, когда роль достаётся ученику, а не ему. Моника пытается вернуть кровать после того, как получила не ту из магазина бывшего мужа Дженис. Пытаясь помочь Монике вернуть кровать в магазин, Джои застаёт Дженис целующейся со своим бывшим.
Субтитры
- 00:00:02,711 --> 00:00:06,296 So I told Carl, nobody, no matter how famous their parents are...
- 00:00:06,464 --> 00:00:08,924 ...nobody is allowed to climb on the dinosaur.
- 00:00:09,092 --> 00:00:11,427 But of course, this went right in one ear...
- 00:00:11,594 --> 00:00:14,346 RACHEL: I love how he cares so much about stuff.
- 00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:18,475 If I squint, I can pretend he's Alan Alda.
- 00:00:20,812 --> 00:00:23,897 MONICA: Oh, good. Another dinosaur story.
- 00:00:25,817 --> 00:00:28,027 When are those gonna become extinct?
- 00:00:30,989 --> 00:00:34,658 CHANDLER: If I was a superhero who could fly and be invisible...
- 00:00:34,826 --> 00:00:37,077 ...that would be the best.
- 00:00:41,791 --> 00:00:44,293 GUNTHER: What does Rachel see in this guy?
- 00:00:46,212 --> 00:00:47,629 I love Rachel.
- 00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:52,593 I wish she was my wife.
- 00:00:54,804 --> 00:00:57,306 [JOEY HUMMING IN HEAD]
- 00:01:05,148 --> 00:01:06,815 PHOEBE: Who's singing?
- 00:01:55,490 --> 00:01:58,158 [HAPPY DAYS THEME PLAYING ON TV]
- 00:01:58,868 --> 00:02:01,995 Hey, when you guys were kids and you played Happy Days...
- 00:02:02,205 --> 00:02:05,874 ...who were you? I was always Richie. - I was always Joanie.
- 00:02:06,042 --> 00:02:10,295 Question: Was, uh, "Egg the Gellers" the war cry of your neighborhood?
- 00:02:12,257 --> 00:02:14,049 Ew, ew! It's the Mattress King.
- 00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:15,884 - Don't look. Change the channel. JOEY: Boo!
- 00:02:16,052 --> 00:02:18,679 Wait. I want to see this. After I divorce him...
- 00:02:18,847 --> 00:02:21,974 ...half of that kingdom is gonna be mine.
- 00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:25,227 Despair fills the mattress showroom.
- 00:02:25,395 --> 00:02:28,313 My kingdom is suddenly without a queen.
- 00:02:28,481 --> 00:02:30,065 I'm so depressed...
- 00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:31,817 ...I'm going to slash...
- 00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:34,111 ...my prices! Check it out!
- 00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:38,365 599 for a California king. 499 for a pillow-top queen set.
- 00:02:38,533 --> 00:02:40,826 I'm going medieval on prices.
- 00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:42,870 What a wank.
- 00:02:43,037 --> 00:02:47,082 Oh, I cannot believe he's using our divorce to sell mattresses.
- 00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:51,420 I know. At 499 for a pillow-top queen, who cares about the divorce?
- 00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:53,922 Those babies will sell themselves.
- 00:02:56,050 --> 00:02:58,886 And I'm appalled for you, by the way.
- 00:03:00,096 --> 00:03:03,432 I'm close. I'm cheap. I'm the king.
- 00:03:06,936 --> 00:03:12,316 Okay. Okay, Daddy. We'll see you tomorrow night. Okay, bye-bye.
- 00:03:13,943 --> 00:03:15,277 - "We"? - Ahem.
- 00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:19,948 - Are, uh, having dinner with my dad tomorrow night. I hope that's okay.
- 00:03:20,158 --> 00:03:22,409 Oh, shoot. Tomorrow's not good.
- 00:03:22,577 --> 00:03:25,078 I'm supposed to, um, fall off the Empire State Building...
- 00:03:25,246 --> 00:03:27,623 ...and land on a bicycle with no seat, so...
- 00:03:30,251 --> 00:03:32,419 Ross, my father doesn't hate you.
- 00:03:32,587 --> 00:03:35,631 Please. He refers to me as "Wet-Head."
- 00:03:36,591 --> 00:03:39,259 Honey, he calls everybody by a nickname.
- 00:03:39,427 --> 00:03:42,721 Okay, look, I know. Just one dinner. Please, one night. For me. Please?
- 00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:45,724 I just want him to love you like I do.
- 00:03:46,267 --> 00:03:48,852 All right. Well, not exactly like I do.
- 00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:51,688 But if you do come to dinner...
- 00:03:51,856 --> 00:03:55,234 ...I'll love you like I do in that black thing that you like.
- 00:03:55,777 --> 00:03:57,361 I'll go.
- 00:04:00,990 --> 00:04:03,492 - Fine. - Thank you.
- 00:04:07,372 --> 00:04:08,497 Hi, Gunther.
- 00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:10,707 Yeah. We'll see.
- 00:04:13,169 --> 00:04:14,336 - Hey, you guys. CHANDLER: Hey.
- 00:04:14,504 --> 00:04:16,088 RACHEL: Hey. Hey. - Guess what.
- 00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:17,881 - I got a gig. - Great.
- 00:04:18,466 --> 00:04:21,593 See, that's why I can never be an actor. Because I can't say "gig."
- 00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:25,013 Yeah, I can't say "croissant." Oh, my God.
- 00:04:26,432 --> 00:04:28,809 - What's the part? - It's not a part. No.
- 00:04:28,977 --> 00:04:31,979 I'm teaching Acting for Soap Operas at the Learning Extension.
- 00:04:32,146 --> 00:04:33,397 Come on. That's great.
- 00:04:33,564 --> 00:04:36,149 It's like my chance to give something back...
- 00:04:36,317 --> 00:04:38,485 ...to the acting community.
- 00:04:38,778 --> 00:04:41,905 You know, you're probably not allowed to sleep with any of your students.
- 00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:48,537 I know.
- 00:04:54,210 --> 00:04:56,795 Ugh. I don't know, Monica. It feels funny just being here.
- 00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:59,756 I mean, if you buy a bed from Janice's ex-husband...
- 00:04:59,924 --> 00:05:01,675 ...that's like betraying Chandler.
- 00:05:01,884 --> 00:05:04,052 Not at these prices.
- 00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:10,183 Hi.
- 00:05:10,393 --> 00:05:14,104 You know, in England this car would be on the other side of the store.
- 00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:20,527 Whoosh.
- 00:05:21,362 --> 00:05:24,406 Oh, oh, oh.
- 00:05:24,949 --> 00:05:26,825 Phoebe, come here.
- 00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:28,952 Ah, this is my new bed.
- 00:05:29,203 --> 00:05:31,913 You gotta feel this bad boy.
- 00:05:32,081 --> 00:05:35,208 Ugh. Monica, it still feels so weird, you know?
- 00:05:35,376 --> 00:05:36,877 Chandler's your friend. Oh.
- 00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:38,086 [GASPS]
- 00:05:38,254 --> 00:05:39,588 Oh, my God.
- 00:05:40,506 --> 00:05:45,385 Oh. All right, take this bed. You can make other friends. Oh.
- 00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:55,103 Good evening.
- 00:05:55,271 --> 00:05:57,773 I am Mr. Tribbiani.
- 00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:01,777 And I will be teaching Acting for Soap Operas.
- 00:06:02,236 --> 00:06:03,820 Now, um...
- 00:06:04,155 --> 00:06:09,409 ...on my first day as Dr. Drake Ramoray on Days of our Lives...
- 00:06:12,288 --> 00:06:15,332 ...uh, ahem, I learned that one of the most important things...
- 00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:18,502 ...in soap opera acting is reacting.
- 00:06:18,836 --> 00:06:21,380 This does not mean acting again.
- 00:06:22,882 --> 00:06:26,051 It means you don't have a line, but someone else just did.
- 00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:28,595 And it goes something like this. Ahem.
- 00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:31,306 [GASPS]
- 00:06:35,645 --> 00:06:37,020 Thanks. Thanks. Thanks a lot.
- 00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:40,023 By the way, before I forget. To work in soap operas...
- 00:06:40,191 --> 00:06:43,235 ...some of you are gonna have to become much more attractive.
- 00:06:44,529 --> 00:06:46,154 All right, moving right along...
- 00:06:50,368 --> 00:06:51,868 - Hi. - Hey.
- 00:06:52,036 --> 00:06:55,664 - Oh! How was teaching last night? - Oh, it was great. You get to say stuff like:
- 00:06:55,873 --> 00:07:00,419 "Hey, the bell doesn't dismiss you. I dismiss you."
- 00:07:01,671 --> 00:07:03,296 - Oh, nice. - Yeah.
- 00:07:03,464 --> 00:07:05,799 Oh, and guess what. I got an audition for All My Children.
- 00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:07,968 - Oh, yay! - Yeah, it's this great part.
- 00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:09,678 This boxer named Nick.
- 00:07:09,846 --> 00:07:12,597 And I'm so, so right for it, you know? He's just like me...
- 00:07:12,765 --> 00:07:14,599 ...except that he's a boxer...
- 00:07:14,767 --> 00:07:16,393 ...and has an evil twin.
- 00:07:16,602 --> 00:07:17,894 [KNOCKING ON DOOR]
- 00:07:18,062 --> 00:07:19,271 Oh.
- 00:07:22,191 --> 00:07:23,275 Dum-datta-dum.
- 00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:26,695 Hear ye, hear ye. Delivery from the Mattress King.
- 00:07:29,365 --> 00:07:30,740 You Miss Geller?
- 00:07:30,908 --> 00:07:33,076 - Okay. - Sign here.
- 00:07:33,744 --> 00:07:36,037 - Ooh. Do I have a middle name? - Mm-hm.
- 00:07:36,205 --> 00:07:39,374 All right. Monica Felula...
- 00:07:40,084 --> 00:07:41,293 ...Geller.
- 00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,462 It's that bedroom there.
- 00:07:45,214 --> 00:07:46,548 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:07:46,716 --> 00:07:49,217 Hey, Monica bought a bed from the Mattress King?
- 00:07:49,385 --> 00:07:52,721 Yeah. So please, please, please don't say anything to Chandler.
- 00:07:53,222 --> 00:07:55,682 - You want me to lie to Chandler? - Is that a problem?
- 00:07:55,850 --> 00:07:57,392 No.
- 00:07:58,394 --> 00:08:01,146 Oh, hey, hey, Nick the boxer. Let's see what you got.
- 00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:03,064 - Yeah. - All right, put them up. Come on.
- 00:08:03,232 --> 00:08:05,650 - Hey, you're pretty good at this. - Ha, ha.
- 00:08:05,818 --> 00:08:07,944 Yeah, I had to learn. I was staying at the Y...
- 00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:10,739 ...and some of the young men weren't acting Christian enough.
- 00:08:14,118 --> 00:08:16,203 Hey, now. Hey.
- 00:08:16,370 --> 00:08:19,331 - Ow. And I'm bleeding. Okay, great. - Oh, oh!
- 00:08:19,540 --> 00:08:22,083 Wow. And I'm a vegetarian.
- 00:08:23,669 --> 00:08:25,712 All right, I'm sorry. We'll put some ice on it.
- 00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:27,964 - Put your head back. Ooh. - Okay. All right.
- 00:08:28,132 --> 00:08:29,758 - I can't see. - I have you.
- 00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:31,051 Oh, God.
- 00:08:32,595 --> 00:08:34,888 DELIVERY MAN: Which bedroom do you want it in, Ms. Geller?
- 00:08:35,056 --> 00:08:38,308 Oh. It's the compulsively neat one by the window, okay?
- 00:08:38,476 --> 00:08:40,101 Gotcha.
- 00:08:47,109 --> 00:08:48,693 Hi, Daddy.
- 00:08:49,153 --> 00:08:50,654 This is where they put us?
- 00:08:50,821 --> 00:08:53,782 What? There was no table available in the kitchen?
- 00:08:54,992 --> 00:08:56,618 - Hello, baby. - You remember Ross.
- 00:08:56,786 --> 00:08:58,787 - Mm-hm. - Nice to see you again, Dr. Green.
- 00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:01,122 So.
- 00:09:06,671 --> 00:09:09,005 - How's the library? - Uh, museum.
- 00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:13,343 - What happened to the library? - There never was a library.
- 00:09:13,511 --> 00:09:16,137 I mean, there are libraries. It's just that I, um...
- 00:09:16,305 --> 00:09:18,807 I've never worked at one. Ha, ha.
- 00:09:21,852 --> 00:09:23,603 You know what's really good here?
- 00:09:23,771 --> 00:09:25,146 - The lobster. - Mm.
- 00:09:25,314 --> 00:09:29,568 - What do you say? Shall I just order three? - Yeah, if you're really hungry. Ha, ha.
- 00:09:34,115 --> 00:09:36,116 It was a joke. I made a joke.
- 00:09:37,451 --> 00:09:40,245 Yeah, actually, Daddy, Ross is allergic to lobster.
- 00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:42,080 What kind of person's allergic to lobster?
- 00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:45,000 I guess the kind of person that works in a library. Ha, ha.
- 00:09:45,167 --> 00:09:46,835 - It's not... - I know. It's a museum.
- 00:09:47,003 --> 00:09:49,671 What, you're the only who can make a joke? At least mine was funny.
- 00:09:50,047 --> 00:09:51,840 Uh, waiter.
- 00:09:52,008 --> 00:09:54,968 We will have two lobsters and a menu.
- 00:09:59,181 --> 00:10:01,641 So, Dr. Green, how's the old boat?
- 00:10:01,809 --> 00:10:03,685 They found rust.
- 00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:07,814 - Do you know what rust does to a boat? - Gives it a nice antique-y look?
- 00:10:12,820 --> 00:10:16,448 Rust is boat cancer, Ross.
- 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:18,074 Wow, I'm sorry.
- 00:10:18,326 --> 00:10:20,577 When I was a kid, I lost a bike to that. Ha, ha.
- 00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:28,376 Excuse me for a moment, will you, please?
- 00:10:28,544 --> 00:10:30,879 I wanna say good night to the Levines before we go.
- 00:10:31,172 --> 00:10:32,714 Okay.
- 00:10:35,718 --> 00:10:37,886 Honey, stop. It's not that bad.
- 00:10:38,220 --> 00:10:40,013 Yeah. Oh.
- 00:10:40,181 --> 00:10:42,724 Uh-oh. I think your dad must have added wrong.
- 00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:44,559 He only tipped, like, 4 percent.
- 00:10:44,727 --> 00:10:46,561 Yeah. Ahem, that's Daddy.
- 00:10:47,021 --> 00:10:51,316 "That's Daddy"? Doesn't it bother you? You're a waitress.
- 00:10:51,525 --> 00:10:53,109 Yes, it bothers me, Ross.
- 00:10:53,277 --> 00:10:55,570 But, you know, if he was a regular at the coffee house...
- 00:10:55,738 --> 00:10:57,405 ...I'd be serving him sneezers.
- 00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:00,158 - So? - So, Ross...
- 00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:04,329 ...I've bugged him about this a million times. He's not gonna change.
- 00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:06,873 Do you really serve people sneezers?
- 00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:09,668 Ahem, well, um, I don't.
- 00:11:10,878 --> 00:11:12,671 - All right, kids. Ready? - Yes.
- 00:11:12,838 --> 00:11:15,632 - Thanks again, Dr. Green. - Uh-huh.
- 00:11:20,554 --> 00:11:23,181 Wait, wait, wait, I think I forgot my receipt.
- 00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:25,225 - Oh, you don't need that. - Ahem, why not?
- 00:11:25,393 --> 00:11:29,562 The carbon. It's messy. I mean, gets on your fingers and causes...
- 00:11:29,730 --> 00:11:31,272 ...the, uh, night blindness.
- 00:11:34,610 --> 00:11:36,277 What is this?
- 00:11:36,612 --> 00:11:38,321 Who put a 20 down here?
- 00:11:38,489 --> 00:11:40,740 - Huh? - Oh, yeah, that would be me.
- 00:11:40,908 --> 00:11:42,951 Um, I have... I have a problem.
- 00:11:43,119 --> 00:11:45,286 I tip way too much, way, way too much.
- 00:11:45,454 --> 00:11:47,539 - It's a sickness, really. - Yeah, it is. It is.
- 00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:50,792 - We have to do something about that. - Excuse me.
- 00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:53,044 You think I'm cheap?
- 00:11:53,212 --> 00:11:55,505 - He didn't mean anything by that. - Huh?
- 00:11:55,673 --> 00:11:59,426 - He really didn't. - Nothing I do means anything. Really.
- 00:12:01,470 --> 00:12:03,930 This is nice. I pay $200 for dinner.
- 00:12:04,098 --> 00:12:07,434 You put down 20 and you come out looking like Mr. Big-Shot.
- 00:12:07,643 --> 00:12:09,352 - You really wanna be Mr. Big-Shot? - Oh.
- 00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:14,399 Here. I'll tell you what. You pay the whole bill, Mr. Big-Shot. All right?
- 00:12:16,902 --> 00:12:20,613 Well, "Mr. Big-Shot" is better than "Wet-Head."
- 00:12:21,907 --> 00:12:24,325 Okay, some tricks of the trade.
- 00:12:24,493 --> 00:12:26,828 Now, I've never been able to cry as an actor...
- 00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:29,581 ...so if I'm in a scene where I have to cry...
- 00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:31,666 ...I cut a hole in my pocket...
- 00:12:31,834 --> 00:12:34,043 ...take a pair of tweezers...
- 00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:36,337 ...and just start pulling.
- 00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:42,010 Okay. Or uh... Or let's say I want to convey...
- 00:12:42,178 --> 00:12:45,096 ...that I've, uh, just done something evil.
- 00:12:45,264 --> 00:12:49,267 Well, that would be your basic I've-got-a fish-hook-in-my-eyebrow-and-I-like-it.
- 00:12:53,522 --> 00:12:57,025 No? Okay. Let's say I've just gotten bad news.
- 00:12:57,193 --> 00:13:02,363 Well, all I do there is try and divide 232 by 13.
- 00:13:11,332 --> 00:13:12,791 And that's how it's done.
- 00:13:12,958 --> 00:13:15,335 Great soap opera acting tonight, everybody.
- 00:13:15,503 --> 00:13:17,253 Class dismissed.
- 00:13:19,298 --> 00:13:20,965 - Hey, Mr. Trib. - Hey.
- 00:13:21,133 --> 00:13:23,176 Guess what. I got an audition.
- 00:13:23,344 --> 00:13:26,805 Oh. One of my students got an audition. I'm so proud.
- 00:13:28,349 --> 00:13:30,892 I was wondering if you would consider coaching me for it.
- 00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:33,895 - Oh, you bet. What's the part? - Oh, it's great.
- 00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:36,898 It's a role on All My Children. Nick the boxer.
- 00:13:45,741 --> 00:13:47,909 Had to do it, didn't you? You couldn't leave it alone.
- 00:13:48,077 --> 00:13:52,580 Four percent, okay? I tip more than that when there's a bug in my food.
- 00:13:52,748 --> 00:13:55,625 Ross, tonight was about the two of you getting along.
- 00:13:55,793 --> 00:13:56,918 BOTH: Ugh.
- 00:13:57,086 --> 00:13:58,628 Would you see my chiropractor already?
- 00:13:58,796 --> 00:14:02,882 Yeah, I'm gonna go to a doctor who went to medical school in a mini-mall.
- 00:14:07,221 --> 00:14:09,222 Hey, Pheebs. What are you doing?
- 00:14:09,390 --> 00:14:12,225 I'm... I'm freaking out.
- 00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:18,147 Monica kind of trusted me with something and she shouldn't have.
- 00:14:18,315 --> 00:14:21,276 All right, I haven't lived here in a while, so I have to ask you.
- 00:14:21,443 --> 00:14:23,820 Does Monica still turn the lights on in her bedroom?
- 00:14:25,614 --> 00:14:27,907 - Ahem. Yeah. - I am so dead.
- 00:14:30,536 --> 00:14:32,453 All right, look, here's the bottom line, Ross.
- 00:14:32,621 --> 00:14:35,164 This is fixable if we act fast, okay?
- 00:14:35,332 --> 00:14:38,126 So I'll invite him to brunch tomorrow and you can make nice.
- 00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:41,546 Honey, I have tried to make nice. It doesn't work.
- 00:14:41,755 --> 00:14:43,882 Okay. Look, I realize my father is difficult...
- 00:14:44,049 --> 00:14:47,677 ...but that's why you have got to be the bigger man here.
- 00:14:47,845 --> 00:14:51,556 Look, sweetie, I could be the bigger man. I could be the biggest man.
- 00:14:51,765 --> 00:14:55,435 I could be a big, huge, giant man and it still wouldn't make a difference.
- 00:14:55,644 --> 00:15:00,023 Except that I could pick your father up and say, "Like me. Like me, tiny doctor."
- 00:15:01,817 --> 00:15:05,320 Okay, well, can't you just try it one more time, Ross? For me? For me?
- 00:15:05,487 --> 00:15:08,114 Rachel, one brunch is not gonna solve anything.
- 00:15:08,282 --> 00:15:10,575 You've gotta face it. We're never gonna get along.
- 00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:12,994 Okay, well, you are just going to have to.
- 00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:16,748 Okay? I've already got a mother and father who cannot stay in the same room.
- 00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:18,917 I don't want to have a separate room for you too.
- 00:15:19,084 --> 00:15:21,169 Okay, okay. Okay.
- 00:15:21,837 --> 00:15:23,671 I'll get the bagels.
- 00:15:28,552 --> 00:15:30,261 What's this?
- 00:15:30,971 --> 00:15:34,015 Isn't it cool? Vroom. Vroom.
- 00:15:35,351 --> 00:15:36,726 This is not the bed I ordered.
- 00:15:36,894 --> 00:15:40,688 I know. You must have won, like, a contest or something.
- 00:15:40,856 --> 00:15:42,023 [MIMICKING RACING CAR]
- 00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:43,733 Phoebe.
- 00:15:44,526 --> 00:15:46,277 Why is this car in my bedroom?
- 00:15:46,445 --> 00:15:48,529 I'm sorry, okay. I wasn't looking...
- 00:15:48,697 --> 00:15:51,741 ...and the store said that they won't take it back because you signed for it.
- 00:15:52,117 --> 00:15:54,702 - When did I sign for it? - When I was you.
- 00:15:54,870 --> 00:15:58,539 You know what? It's all Joey's fault because he left his nose open.
- 00:16:00,125 --> 00:16:01,751 Did you make brownies today?
- 00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:04,504 CHANDLER: Knock, knock.
- 00:16:04,672 --> 00:16:07,674 Quick. Take off your dress. He won't notice the bed.
- 00:16:09,385 --> 00:16:11,719 Hey, I'm going for sushi. Does anybody want, uh...?
- 00:16:11,887 --> 00:16:13,221 [LAUGHING]
- 00:16:14,348 --> 00:16:16,599 Whoa. Somebody missed the off-ramp.
- 00:16:19,269 --> 00:16:21,521 It's Monica's bed. What?
- 00:16:21,689 --> 00:16:23,398 Okay...
- 00:16:24,149 --> 00:16:26,234 It's a race car.
- 00:16:27,069 --> 00:16:30,113 So? This has always been Monica's bed. What, you're just noticing now?
- 00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:31,906 How self-involved are you?
- 00:16:34,201 --> 00:16:35,660 Okay, well, if this bed isn't new...
- 00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:38,371 ...then how come there's plastic on the mattress?
- 00:16:40,749 --> 00:16:42,458 Sometimes I have bad dreams.
- 00:16:46,672 --> 00:16:48,006 [SOBBING] Look...
- 00:16:48,215 --> 00:16:52,719 ...I just saw my best friend's brain smeared across the canvas.
- 00:16:52,886 --> 00:16:54,512 It's not gonna be me.
- 00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:56,472 Not me.
- 00:16:57,891 --> 00:16:59,225 Wow.
- 00:17:00,269 --> 00:17:02,812 That was good. That was...
- 00:17:03,731 --> 00:17:05,481 - Tweezers? - No.
- 00:17:05,649 --> 00:17:06,774 Oh, wow.
- 00:17:08,235 --> 00:17:10,945 - That was really good. - Thanks.
- 00:17:11,572 --> 00:17:12,697 Any suggestions?
- 00:17:13,449 --> 00:17:15,158 Hmm, I...
- 00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:22,331 You told him to play the boxer gay?
- 00:17:26,462 --> 00:17:30,298 Well, I might have said "super-gay."
- 00:17:31,383 --> 00:17:33,259 You totally screwed him over.
- 00:17:33,427 --> 00:17:36,471 Joey, you're this guy's teacher. I mean, how could you do this?
- 00:17:36,638 --> 00:17:38,723 Because, Monica, the guy's so good.
- 00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:41,184 And I really, really want this part.
- 00:17:41,518 --> 00:17:44,353 Well, if you really, really want it, then it's okay.
- 00:17:46,815 --> 00:17:48,566 - Hi, Daddy. - Baby.
- 00:17:50,986 --> 00:17:54,072 - Ross? - Dr. Green, how are you?
- 00:17:56,492 --> 00:17:58,409 Thanks for dinner last night.
- 00:17:58,577 --> 00:18:01,204 Thank you for teaching me a valuable lesson.
- 00:18:01,789 --> 00:18:03,956 Nice hair. What did you do, swim here?
- 00:18:07,836 --> 00:18:10,088 Okay, that's it. I can't take it anymore.
- 00:18:10,297 --> 00:18:11,798 What, what? He's interested in you.
- 00:18:11,965 --> 00:18:15,384 - He just wants to know how you got here. - Oh, please.
- 00:18:16,053 --> 00:18:19,180 - Sweetie, it's hopeless. I'm just gonna go. - What? Ross.
- 00:18:19,348 --> 00:18:21,349 - I'm sorry. It's just... GREEN: Ross?
- 00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:23,101 What's with the neck?
- 00:18:23,310 --> 00:18:26,145 He's got this thing and I keep telling him to go to my chiropractor.
- 00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:28,231 You still going to that chiropractor?
- 00:18:28,398 --> 00:18:30,775 That man couldn't get into med school in lxtapa.
- 00:18:31,652 --> 00:18:34,237 Yeah, thank you. That's what I keep saying.
- 00:18:34,404 --> 00:18:38,199 Excuse me, ahem, Dr. Bobby happens to be an excellent doctor.
- 00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:41,577 Wait a minute. His name is Dr. Bobby?
- 00:18:42,746 --> 00:18:45,081 - Well, that's his last name. - And his first name.
- 00:18:45,290 --> 00:18:47,542 He's Bobby Bobby?
- 00:18:48,710 --> 00:18:50,795 Ahem. It's Robert Bobby.
- 00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:52,213 Oh.
- 00:18:52,381 --> 00:18:54,966 And, um, excuse me. He helps me.
- 00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:58,344 - Oh. Please. Ask her how? - What do you need help for?
- 00:18:58,554 --> 00:19:00,805 With my alignment. One leg's shorter than the other.
- 00:19:01,014 --> 00:19:03,224 - Oh, my God. - Yeah. Argue with that.
- 00:19:03,392 --> 00:19:05,601 What? It's true. My right leg is two inches shorter.
- 00:19:05,769 --> 00:19:07,979 Come on, you're just tilting.
- 00:19:09,189 --> 00:19:11,190 - Her legs are fine. - I know that.
- 00:19:11,358 --> 00:19:14,235 - So why do you let her go to a chiropractor? - I'm sorry, "Let her"?
- 00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:17,947 What can I do? She doesn't listen to me about renter's insurance, either.
- 00:19:18,115 --> 00:19:20,992 Wait a minute. You don't have renter's insurance?
- 00:19:22,911 --> 00:19:25,079 - No. Ahem. - So, what if somebody steals something?
- 00:19:26,456 --> 00:19:29,917 How you gonna run after him with one leg shorter than the other?
- 00:19:30,085 --> 00:19:31,335 [BOTH LAUGHING]
- 00:19:35,424 --> 00:19:37,383 Hey, would you, uh...? Would you like some juice?
- 00:19:37,551 --> 00:19:39,969 - I'd love some juice. - Okay.
- 00:19:41,096 --> 00:19:44,140 Well, this is going so well. Did you see us? Did you see?
- 00:19:44,308 --> 00:19:46,893 Yeah, honey. I was standing right there.
- 00:19:47,060 --> 00:19:49,770 Why don't you tell him about the mole I haven't gotten checked?
- 00:19:49,938 --> 00:19:51,272 Excellent.
- 00:19:55,444 --> 00:19:58,237 There will come a time in each of your careers...
- 00:19:58,405 --> 00:20:02,491 ...when you'll have a chance to screw over another soap opera actor.
- 00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:06,954 I had such an opportunity in the recent present.
- 00:20:08,957 --> 00:20:11,459 And I'm ashamed to say...
- 00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:13,252 ...that I took it.
- 00:20:14,338 --> 00:20:18,633 I advised a fellow actor to play a role...
- 00:20:19,551 --> 00:20:21,552 ...homosexually.
- 00:20:24,723 --> 00:20:25,973 Yeah.
- 00:20:26,475 --> 00:20:29,560 We both auditioned for the part and, uh...
- 00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:32,980 ...as it turned out...
- 00:20:33,774 --> 00:20:35,399 ...they...
- 00:20:36,568 --> 00:20:40,029 They liked the stupid gay thing and cast him.
- 00:20:42,282 --> 00:20:43,991 And now...
- 00:20:44,159 --> 00:20:47,078 ...he's got a two-year contract...
- 00:20:48,455 --> 00:20:50,581 ...opposite Susan Lucci...
- 00:20:50,749 --> 00:20:53,918 ...the first lady of daytime television.
- 00:20:54,795 --> 00:20:56,170 And me?
- 00:20:56,672 --> 00:21:00,466 Me, I'm stuck here teaching a bunch of people...
- 00:21:00,634 --> 00:21:03,970 [SOBBING]... most of whom are too ugly to even be on TV.
- 00:21:06,765 --> 00:21:08,933 I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- 00:21:18,860 --> 00:21:20,319 Thank you.
- 00:21:24,366 --> 00:21:26,200 - Uh, may I help you? - Yes, hi.
- 00:21:26,368 --> 00:21:28,786 I'm the lady who got stuck with the race-car bed.
- 00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:33,374 Look, it's like I told you. There's nothing I can do.
- 00:21:33,542 --> 00:21:37,837 You signed for it. "Monica Felula Geller."
- 00:21:38,547 --> 00:21:40,715 All right, jester man, look, we wanna see the king.
- 00:21:40,882 --> 00:21:42,842 Nobody sees the king.
- 00:21:43,844 --> 00:21:45,928 Okay. I'm talking to the king.
- 00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:48,097 Hey, you can't go back there.
- 00:21:53,854 --> 00:21:57,732 Oh, my God.
- 00:22:07,451 --> 00:22:09,076 [MIMICKING RACE CAR]
- 00:22:11,246 --> 00:22:13,706 Hey, watch it, lady.
- 00:22:14,249 --> 00:22:15,583 [MIMICKING RACE CAR]
- 00:22:19,504 --> 00:22:21,922 Hey, good-looking.
- 00:22:23,925 --> 00:22:25,843 [HONKING HORN]
- 00:22:26,678 --> 00:22:28,012 [MIMICKING RACE CAR]
- 00:22:31,516 --> 00:22:33,559 All right, I'll leave.
- 00:22:33,727 --> 00:22:35,978 My bed's so boring.
- 00:22:43,195 --> 00:22:45,196 [English - US - SDH]
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