Эпизод с Фрэнком-младшим
Описание
В город приезжает сводный брат Фиби, Фрэнк-младший, но его странное поведение затрудняет сближение. Ситуация усугубляется, когда Фрэнк-младший сначала неправильно понимает, что Фиби работает проституткой, и начинает приставать к её подруге-массажистке во время сеанса массажа. Джои строит тумбу под телевизор, которая слишком велика для квартиры, и раздражает Чендлера. Когда Джои заключает пари на пять долларов, что он сможет поместиться внутри тумбы, Чендлер намеренно проигрывает пари, чтобы запереть его в качестве мести. Россу предлагают составить список из пяти знаменитостей, с которыми он, скорее всего, переспал бы. Когда Изабелла Росселлини заходит в кофейню, Росс пытается флиртовать с ней, утверждая, что она сначала была в его списке, но вычеркнула её (в пользу Вайноны Райдер), услышав объяснение Чендлера, что она «иностранка». Приглашенная звезда: Изабелла Росселлини.
Субтитры
- 00:00:03,294 --> 00:00:05,462 - Hey. - Hey.
- 00:00:05,630 --> 00:00:07,631 Hey.
- 00:00:07,799 --> 00:00:11,427 So, what happened? Did a forest tick you off?
- 00:00:12,303 --> 00:00:13,345 No.
- 00:00:13,513 --> 00:00:16,473 You know how we're always saying we need a place for the mail.
- 00:00:19,644 --> 00:00:21,478 Yeah.
- 00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:23,188 Well, I started building one.
- 00:00:23,356 --> 00:00:27,067 But then I decided to take it to the next step.
- 00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:30,571 You're building a post office?
- 00:00:31,489 --> 00:00:34,700 No, an entertainment unit, with a mail cubby built right in.
- 00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:38,412 - It's a one-day job, max. - Okay.
- 00:00:39,164 --> 00:00:42,041 My word, those are snug.
- 00:00:43,501 --> 00:00:46,086 Oh, yeah. These are my old work pants.
- 00:00:46,254 --> 00:00:48,464 Sergio Valente.
- 00:00:58,016 --> 00:01:00,809 Power saw kind of got away from me there.
- 00:01:53,029 --> 00:01:54,363 - Hey, Pheebs. PHOEBE: Hey.
- 00:01:54,531 --> 00:01:57,658 - Any sign of your brother? - No, but he's always late, so...
- 00:01:57,826 --> 00:02:00,244 - I thought you only met him once. - Yeah, I did.
- 00:02:01,871 --> 00:02:05,332 I think it sounds, you know, big sister-y, "Frank's always late." So...
- 00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:08,001 Oh. Well, relax. He'll be here.
- 00:02:08,169 --> 00:02:10,754 - Yeah, no, I know. I'm just nervous. RACHEL: Oh.
- 00:02:10,922 --> 00:02:14,133 You know, it's just, you know, Mom's dead, don't talk to my sister...
- 00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:16,844 ...Grandma's been sleeping a lot lately.
- 00:02:17,512 --> 00:02:20,722 It's just the "last desperate chance to have a family" kind of thing.
- 00:02:20,890 --> 00:02:23,392 - Mm. - You're so sweet to wait with me.
- 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:27,479 Well, actually, Gunther sent me. You're not allowed to have cups out here.
- 00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:33,110 Does anyone else think David Copperfield's cute?
- 00:02:35,238 --> 00:02:38,448 No, but he told me he thinks you're a fox.
- 00:02:40,243 --> 00:02:41,910 All right. Janice likes him.
- 00:02:42,078 --> 00:02:46,081 In fact, she likes him so much, she put him on her, uh, freebie list.
- 00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:50,627 Her what?
- 00:02:50,795 --> 00:02:55,799 We have a deal where we each pick five different celebrities we could sleep with...
- 00:02:56,759 --> 00:02:58,927 ...and the other one can't get mad.
- 00:02:59,095 --> 00:03:02,306 Ah, the heart of every healthy relationship:
- 00:03:02,473 --> 00:03:06,351 Honesty, respect, and sex with celebrities.
- 00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:08,145 So, Chandler, who's on your list?
- 00:03:08,313 --> 00:03:09,938 Uh, Kim Basinger...
- 00:03:10,106 --> 00:03:12,399 ...Cindy Crawford, Halle Berry...
- 00:03:12,567 --> 00:03:14,443 ...Yasmine Bleeth... - Oh.
- 00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:17,571 ...and Jessica Rabbit.
- 00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:23,535 Ahem. Now, you do realize that she is a cartoon and way out of your league?
- 00:03:23,703 --> 00:03:27,748 I know. I just always wondered if I could get her eyes to pop out of her head.
- 00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:30,959 Hey, Monica, who would yours be?
- 00:03:31,127 --> 00:03:33,879 First I need a boyfriend. Then I can have a list.
- 00:03:34,797 --> 00:03:36,798 It's just a game, Mon.
- 00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:40,135 Rach, how about you?
- 00:03:40,303 --> 00:03:44,556 Oh, I don't know. I guess Chris O'Donnell, John F. Kennedy Jr...
- 00:03:44,724 --> 00:03:48,352 ...Daniel Day-Lewis, Sting and Parker Stevenson.
- 00:03:50,146 --> 00:03:51,855 Spider-Man?
- 00:03:52,023 --> 00:03:53,857 Hardy Boy.
- 00:03:54,317 --> 00:03:57,110 - Peter Parker. - Thank you.
- 00:03:57,820 --> 00:03:59,863 What about you, honey? Who'd be on your list?
- 00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:04,201 I... Oh, that kind of thing requires some serious thought.
- 00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:07,704 First, I'll divide my prospective candidates into categories.
- 00:04:07,872 --> 00:04:09,414 Ahem. What a geek.
- 00:04:11,209 --> 00:04:14,378 Everybody, this is Frank. This is my half brother, Frank.
- 00:04:14,545 --> 00:04:15,921 - This is everybody. ROSS: Hey.
- 00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:17,881 - This is Ross. - Hi, how are you?
- 00:04:18,049 --> 00:04:19,132 - Chandler. CHANDLER: Hi.
- 00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:20,509 - Hi. - Joey.
- 00:04:20,677 --> 00:04:22,636 - Hey. FRANK: Hi, hi, hi.
- 00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:25,389 PHOEBE: This is Monica. - Whoa.
- 00:04:26,808 --> 00:04:28,475 - And this is Rachel. - Hi.
- 00:04:28,643 --> 00:04:30,185 Whoa.
- 00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:33,855 I'm gonna get coffee for us.
- 00:04:34,023 --> 00:04:37,025 Hey, how do you guys get anything done? Ha, ha.
- 00:04:37,193 --> 00:04:39,069 We don't, really.
- 00:04:40,488 --> 00:04:42,322 Well, so do you guys have big plans?
- 00:04:42,490 --> 00:04:46,410 Oh, yeah. We're gonna, like, connect and, you know, bond and everything.
- 00:04:46,577 --> 00:04:51,373 I was thinking we could go down to Times Square and pick up some ninja stars.
- 00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:55,585 Oh, um, my friend Larry, he wants me to take a picture of a hooker.
- 00:04:57,171 --> 00:05:00,215 You know, we really don't take advantage of living in the city.
- 00:05:14,605 --> 00:05:16,857 Oh, sorry. Did I get you?
- 00:05:18,067 --> 00:05:19,401 No, you didn't get me.
- 00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:22,904 It's an electric drill. You get me, you kill me!
- 00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:26,283 Calm down. Do you want this unit or not?
- 00:05:26,701 --> 00:05:29,036 I do not want this unit.
- 00:05:29,203 --> 00:05:32,205 Well, you should've told me before. I'm not a mind reader.
- 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:37,044 And we're out of beer. Okay, I'm going to Monica's.
- 00:05:37,712 --> 00:05:39,338 CHANDLER: Fine.
- 00:05:45,261 --> 00:05:48,972 Hey. Where you heading in those pants? 1982?
- 00:05:50,725 --> 00:05:51,767 Oh, Monica, listen...
- 00:05:51,934 --> 00:05:55,604 ...I saw down at the hardware store they got those designer tiles on sale...
- 00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:57,689 ...if you wanna redo your bathroom floor.
- 00:05:58,107 --> 00:06:00,233 What's wrong with my bathroom floor?
- 00:06:00,401 --> 00:06:03,320 Nothing. It's just old and dingy, that's all.
- 00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:07,491 - I highly doubt that. - Oh, yeah?
- 00:06:07,658 --> 00:06:12,412 If you move your hamper, you can see the color the tile used to be.
- 00:06:12,580 --> 00:06:14,748 - Ah! - Yeah.
- 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:18,710 I can't live like this. What are we gonna do?
- 00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:20,504 Relax, relax. Here, hold this.
- 00:06:20,671 --> 00:06:23,632 This old stuff comes right up. I'll show you.
- 00:06:26,094 --> 00:06:28,470 A little more than I wanted to see.
- 00:06:29,972 --> 00:06:31,223 [JOEY GRUNTS]
- 00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:34,393 Look at that. Every inch of this is glued down.
- 00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:38,146 It'd take forever to pry this up. You should, uh... You should just leave it.
- 00:06:38,314 --> 00:06:39,481 [MONICA SCOFFS]
- 00:06:40,024 --> 00:06:44,778 I can't leave it. You gouged a hole in my dingy floor.
- 00:06:44,946 --> 00:06:46,238 Uh, oh.
- 00:06:53,329 --> 00:06:55,997 - Ah? There you go. - Aw.
- 00:06:56,165 --> 00:06:57,416 Yeah, that's nice.
- 00:06:57,583 --> 00:07:01,378 You know, we can put it back there after the surgeons remove it from your colon.
- 00:07:09,637 --> 00:07:10,679 Ooh, ooh!
- 00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:11,847 - What? - Yeah.
- 00:07:12,014 --> 00:07:14,433 I know what I wanted to ask you. Can you roll your tongue?
- 00:07:15,393 --> 00:07:18,186 Because I can and my mom couldn't.
- 00:07:18,354 --> 00:07:22,065 And I thought, you know... I figured that was something I got from our dad.
- 00:07:22,233 --> 00:07:25,610 - Well, wait, you mean like this? - Yeah.
- 00:07:25,778 --> 00:07:27,070 Yeah, you can do it too. Yeah.
- 00:07:27,238 --> 00:07:29,072 [CHUCKLING]
- 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:30,532 You're not doing it.
- 00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:34,327 Oh, right, okay. Yeah, my mom could and I can't.
- 00:07:35,538 --> 00:07:37,998 So we don't have that.
- 00:07:43,254 --> 00:07:46,089 - When's your birthday? - February 16th.
- 00:07:46,507 --> 00:07:48,758 I know a guy who's the 18th.
- 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:52,637 That's close.
- 00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:57,184 - When's yours? - October 25th.
- 00:08:01,355 --> 00:08:03,940 That's the same month as Halloween.
- 00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:06,067 Yeah.
- 00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:11,281 So, what kind of things do you like to do at home?
- 00:08:12,241 --> 00:08:13,617 Melt stuff.
- 00:08:18,039 --> 00:08:21,666 - Okay, I've got three of my five. - Three of your five what?
- 00:08:22,210 --> 00:08:25,128 Celebrities I'm allowed to sleep with.
- 00:08:25,296 --> 00:08:27,506 God, you are giving this a lot of thought.
- 00:08:27,673 --> 00:08:30,300 Hey, it's hard, okay? I only have two spots left.
- 00:08:30,468 --> 00:08:32,135 All right. Who you got it narrowed down to?
- 00:08:32,303 --> 00:08:34,930 Okay. Ahem. Elizabeth Hurley.
- 00:08:35,097 --> 00:08:37,098 - Ooh, very attractive. - Yeah.
- 00:08:37,266 --> 00:08:38,934 Forgiving.
- 00:08:41,145 --> 00:08:42,854 Susan Sarandon.
- 00:08:44,607 --> 00:08:46,650 Eh, you know what? She's too political.
- 00:08:46,817 --> 00:08:51,321 She probably wouldn't let you do it unless you donated four cans of food first.
- 00:08:52,865 --> 00:08:55,116 And Isabella Rossellini.
- 00:08:55,284 --> 00:08:57,077 - Ooh. - Ooh. Very hot. Very sexy.
- 00:08:57,245 --> 00:09:01,998 But, uh, you know, she's too international. She's never gonna be around.
- 00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:04,876 - So? - So you gotta play the odds.
- 00:09:05,044 --> 00:09:08,338 Pick somebody who's gonna be in the country, like, all the time.
- 00:09:08,923 --> 00:09:12,592 Yeah. Because that's why you won't get Isabella Rossellini. Geography.
- 00:09:23,479 --> 00:09:26,815 Okay, so by "melting," you meant melting.
- 00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:28,817 Yeah.
- 00:09:28,985 --> 00:09:32,195 - So is it, like, art? - Yeah, you can melt art.
- 00:09:34,156 --> 00:09:36,950 - Hey, can I use your phone? - Mm.
- 00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:41,538 - Yeah, sure. You wanna call your mom? - No, I wanna melt it.
- 00:09:42,039 --> 00:09:44,791 Oh. Well, um, not right now.
- 00:09:46,168 --> 00:09:47,210 [PHOEBE CHUCKLES]
- 00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:54,884 You know what? I'm just gonna go to bed. The fumes are giving me a headache. So...
- 00:09:55,052 --> 00:09:58,096 Yeah. Yeah. Ha, ha.
- 00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:01,975 Good night, bro.
- 00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:03,685 Good night.
- 00:10:08,107 --> 00:10:09,774 Here.
- 00:10:09,942 --> 00:10:11,901 Just in case.
- 00:10:12,069 --> 00:10:14,321 Oh, excellent.
- 00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:19,868 [FRANK SHOUTING]
- 00:10:26,542 --> 00:10:30,170 - What kind of karate is that? - No kind.
- 00:10:31,380 --> 00:10:33,715 - He just makes it up. - Hmm.
- 00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:37,636 - So how's it going with you guys? - So far it kind of blows.
- 00:10:41,724 --> 00:10:45,185 I don't know, I just thought, you know, that he'd feel more like a brother.
- 00:10:45,353 --> 00:10:47,812 Like you and Ross. Just close and connected and...
- 00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:50,482 Oh. We're close now, but you wouldn't believe the years...
- 00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:55,612 ...of noogies and wedgies and flying wedgies and atomic wedgies and...
- 00:10:57,114 --> 00:10:59,824 That's when the waistband actually goes over your head.
- 00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:01,910 Ah.
- 00:11:02,828 --> 00:11:05,121 We drove each other crazy playing the shadow game.
- 00:11:05,289 --> 00:11:08,249 - How do you play the shadow game? - How do you play the shadow game?
- 00:11:08,417 --> 00:11:10,627 - I just asked you. - I just asked you.
- 00:11:10,795 --> 00:11:12,921 I don't have time for this.
- 00:11:13,089 --> 00:11:16,758 - No, that is what the game is. - Well, you just gave up really quickly.
- 00:11:19,428 --> 00:11:21,262 - Have you seen Joey? - What's the matter?
- 00:11:21,430 --> 00:11:23,932 Oh, just this.
- 00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:33,316 It's my fault, really, because the couch is where we usually keep the varnish.
- 00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:37,529 JOEY: Hey, somebody wanna hand me one of those tiles?
- 00:11:39,949 --> 00:11:42,701 - What's going on? - He's retiling my floor.
- 00:11:43,244 --> 00:11:45,954 Yo, spackle boy.
- 00:11:46,622 --> 00:11:49,624 - Get up. - Ah-ah. You started this, you will finish it.
- 00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:51,626 He started mine first.
- 00:11:51,794 --> 00:11:54,754 Build the unit, Cinderellie. Lay the tile, Cinderellie.
- 00:11:58,134 --> 00:11:59,634 FRANK: Whoa.
- 00:11:59,802 --> 00:12:02,178 Big octopus.
- 00:12:03,889 --> 00:12:05,598 Yeah.
- 00:12:06,350 --> 00:12:08,893 [PHONE RINGS]
- 00:12:09,061 --> 00:12:10,353 Hello?
- 00:12:10,521 --> 00:12:13,398 Oh, my God. I totally forgot.
- 00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:15,984 Well, can't someone else do it?
- 00:12:16,152 --> 00:12:18,445 But I have company.
- 00:12:21,323 --> 00:12:24,492 Yeah, no, look, that's all right. I'll come in. Okay.
- 00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:27,662 Um, I'm really sorry, but I have to go into work.
- 00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:31,458 It's one of my regulars. He's insisting that I do him, so...
- 00:12:31,625 --> 00:12:34,002 - Hey, what kind of work do you do? - Oh.
- 00:12:34,503 --> 00:12:37,881 I'm a masseuse. I give people massages and stuff.
- 00:12:38,048 --> 00:12:41,968 You work at one of those massage parlors?
- 00:12:43,012 --> 00:12:46,347 Well, you know, we don't call it that. But, yeah.
- 00:12:47,016 --> 00:12:49,392 [LAUGHING]
- 00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:51,686 Whoa, that's wild.
- 00:12:51,854 --> 00:12:53,855 No, I had no idea. Ha-ha-ha.
- 00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:55,857 Alrighty. Heh.
- 00:12:56,859 --> 00:13:00,612 I'll be back in a little bit. Unless you wanna come with me.
- 00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:02,697 You mean, like, watch?
- 00:13:03,699 --> 00:13:07,327 No. No, you can get one yourself. It'll be on the house.
- 00:13:07,495 --> 00:13:10,038 You know, what are big sisters for? Ha, ha.
- 00:13:10,539 --> 00:13:13,541 Well, I don't think this. You know?
- 00:13:13,709 --> 00:13:15,835 No, no, no. I wouldn't do you myself.
- 00:13:16,003 --> 00:13:17,837 I mean, that would be weird.
- 00:13:19,256 --> 00:13:21,174 Yeah. I'll get one of the other girls to do it.
- 00:13:21,342 --> 00:13:25,178 Ooh, this is so much fun. Yay! Ha, ha.
- 00:13:25,346 --> 00:13:27,430 - Are you excited? - Yeah.
- 00:13:29,266 --> 00:13:32,227 Hey, do Monica and Rachel work there?
- 00:13:34,438 --> 00:13:36,356 It's beautiful.
- 00:13:36,524 --> 00:13:40,235 It's like the first bathroom floor there ever was.
- 00:13:40,402 --> 00:13:41,736 Whoa.
- 00:13:41,904 --> 00:13:44,239 What are you going in there for?
- 00:13:44,406 --> 00:13:46,407 You want, like, a number?
- 00:13:49,912 --> 00:13:52,539 - Hey. - Hi. Bye.
- 00:13:53,791 --> 00:13:56,459 Okay. I'm done with my choices.
- 00:13:56,627 --> 00:13:58,920 These are final.
- 00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:03,007 - Well, it's about time. - Yeah. Very official.
- 00:14:03,175 --> 00:14:07,554 Oh, yeah. Well, you know, Chandler printed it up on his computer.
- 00:14:07,721 --> 00:14:09,097 And who laminated it?
- 00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:13,184 That was me.
- 00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:15,436 All right, let me see. Ahem.
- 00:14:15,604 --> 00:14:19,482 "Uma Thurman, Winona Ryder, Elizabeth Hurley...
- 00:14:19,650 --> 00:14:21,025 ...Michelle Pfeiffer...
- 00:14:22,111 --> 00:14:23,903 ...Dorothy Hamill"?
- 00:14:29,535 --> 00:14:31,703 Hey, it's my list.
- 00:14:32,204 --> 00:14:34,831 Okay, honey, you do realize she only spins like that on ice?
- 00:14:35,332 --> 00:14:36,541 [MONICA LAUGHS]
- 00:14:39,461 --> 00:14:42,005 Ow, ow, ow.
- 00:14:42,172 --> 00:14:44,966 PHOEBE: Oh. What? Whoa. - Ow, you know? Ow.
- 00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:47,635 - Hey, hey, what's going on? - She broke my arm.
- 00:14:47,803 --> 00:14:50,471 - He touched my fanny. - No, she touched mine first.
- 00:14:50,639 --> 00:14:52,223 That's my job.
- 00:14:52,391 --> 00:14:53,683 So wait, what's the deal?
- 00:14:53,851 --> 00:14:56,060 I can have sex with you but I can't touch you?
- 00:14:56,228 --> 00:14:57,687 JASMINE & PHOEBE: Ew.
- 00:14:57,855 --> 00:15:01,232 - You can't have sex with her. - Did you think I was a hooker?
- 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:04,903 No, okay. I know. You're a masseuse. It's cool. I'm not a cop.
- 00:15:07,114 --> 00:15:08,197 Okay.
- 00:15:08,365 --> 00:15:11,326 Can you ask Mr. Wiffler if he can wait for, like, five minutes?
- 00:15:11,493 --> 00:15:12,994 JASMINE: Fine.
- 00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:15,288 I don't like you.
- 00:15:16,582 --> 00:15:20,460 So that's what you thought I did? God.
- 00:15:20,628 --> 00:15:22,670 That's not what I do.
- 00:15:23,047 --> 00:15:26,090 Wait, that... Wait, that's not what you do?
- 00:15:26,258 --> 00:15:28,176 No.
- 00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:30,011 Why would you think that?
- 00:15:30,179 --> 00:15:33,556 I don't know. I mean, you know... This is the city, you know? I just...
- 00:15:33,724 --> 00:15:35,058 I mean, uh...
- 00:15:35,225 --> 00:15:36,684 ...I don't know.
- 00:15:38,187 --> 00:15:42,106 Whatever. It's the perfect end to the perfect weekend anyway.
- 00:15:43,484 --> 00:15:44,734 Oh, wait.
- 00:15:44,902 --> 00:15:48,196 No, you're right. No, it was perfect.
- 00:15:48,697 --> 00:15:51,240 I can't believe that I screwed it up so bad.
- 00:15:53,077 --> 00:15:54,702 You really thought it was perfect?
- 00:15:54,870 --> 00:15:57,080 Well, no, maybe it wasn't perfect...
- 00:15:57,247 --> 00:15:59,874 ...but, you know, it was pretty cool, you know?
- 00:16:00,042 --> 00:16:02,627 Because we had all those great talks, you know?
- 00:16:06,340 --> 00:16:07,382 Yeah. Um...
- 00:16:07,549 --> 00:16:10,259 Which ones in particular were great for you?
- 00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:13,930 Well, you know, about the tongue thing, you know?
- 00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:17,767 And how I told you about my likes and my dislikes.
- 00:16:17,935 --> 00:16:19,227 I don't...
- 00:16:19,395 --> 00:16:23,189 How I like to melt stuff and how I dislike stuff that doesn't melt.
- 00:16:25,526 --> 00:16:27,735 Right. Okay. Mm-hm.
- 00:16:27,903 --> 00:16:30,321 You know, I feel like I can really talk to you...
- 00:16:30,489 --> 00:16:33,074 ...because, you know, you're my sister, you know?
- 00:16:35,577 --> 00:16:38,246 Yeah. I guess I do. Yeah.
- 00:16:38,414 --> 00:16:41,165 And then I go feel your friend up and make you mad at me.
- 00:16:43,544 --> 00:16:46,838 Yeah, well, I wasn't hopping mad, you know?
- 00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:49,716 You hopped a little bit.
- 00:16:51,635 --> 00:16:54,929 Yeah, I'm really sorry. You know, I'm really...
- 00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:57,056 Okay.
- 00:16:57,224 --> 00:16:59,267 [BOTH CHUCKLE]
- 00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:03,104 Well, this is my favorite part of the weekend. Right now. This.
- 00:17:03,272 --> 00:17:05,106 - This? - Uh-huh.
- 00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:07,650 Oh, come on. We went to Times Square.
- 00:17:07,818 --> 00:17:11,070 We found ninja stars. I almost get my arm broken by a hooker...
- 00:17:11,238 --> 00:17:12,655 She's not a hooker.
- 00:17:13,282 --> 00:17:16,451 Well, when I tell my friends about her, she will be.
- 00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:24,000 Okay. On three.
- 00:17:24,168 --> 00:17:25,960 One, two...
- 00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:27,795 Why don't we just go on two?
- 00:17:27,963 --> 00:17:30,631 - Why two? - Because it's faster.
- 00:17:30,799 --> 00:17:34,135 Yeah, I could've counted to three four times without all this two talk.
- 00:17:34,303 --> 00:17:38,139 - All right, but in the future... - Okay. Heavy thing not getting lighter.
- 00:17:38,307 --> 00:17:39,807 Okay.
- 00:17:39,975 --> 00:17:41,517 One, two...
- 00:17:41,685 --> 00:17:43,144 - So we are going with two? - All right.
- 00:17:43,312 --> 00:17:44,812 [ALL GROAN]
- 00:17:52,988 --> 00:17:54,572 Oh, good job, Joe.
- 00:17:55,866 --> 00:17:57,408 Wow.
- 00:17:57,576 --> 00:17:58,618 It's big.
- 00:17:59,661 --> 00:18:03,372 Yeah. Yeah, so big that it actually makes our doors look smaller.
- 00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:05,666 Maybe my ruler's wrong.
- 00:18:05,834 --> 00:18:08,377 Maybe all the rulers are wrong.
- 00:18:09,046 --> 00:18:10,505 Look, it's not that bad.
- 00:18:10,672 --> 00:18:13,633 So what? It blocks a little of your door, a little of my door.
- 00:18:13,801 --> 00:18:14,842 I got a better idea.
- 00:18:15,010 --> 00:18:18,679 How about it blocks none of my door and a lot of your door?
- 00:18:21,850 --> 00:18:25,728 Listen, before I forget, that side is still wet.
- 00:18:29,691 --> 00:18:31,859 Okay, ahem, let me just see if I've got this right.
- 00:18:32,027 --> 00:18:35,488 So this is a half-caf, double-tall, easy-hazelnut...
- 00:18:35,656 --> 00:18:40,701 ...nonfat, no foam, with whip, extra-hot latte, right?
- 00:18:40,869 --> 00:18:42,370 Okay, great.
- 00:18:42,538 --> 00:18:44,956 Ahem. You freak.
- 00:18:50,712 --> 00:18:54,173 - Thank you. Ahem. - A coffee to go, please.
- 00:18:54,883 --> 00:18:57,718 [MOUTHS] Oh, my God. Guys.
- 00:18:57,886 --> 00:18:59,387 Isabella Rossellini.
- 00:18:59,555 --> 00:19:02,140 Are you serious? Oh, my God.
- 00:19:02,307 --> 00:19:05,893 Damn. I cannot believe I took her off my list.
- 00:19:06,061 --> 00:19:08,271 Why? Because otherwise you'd go for it?
- 00:19:08,438 --> 00:19:10,398 [MONICA & RACHEL LAUGH]
- 00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:12,108 Yeah, maybe.
- 00:19:12,276 --> 00:19:15,069 Oh, heh. You lie.
- 00:19:15,237 --> 00:19:17,280 You don't think I'd go up to her?
- 00:19:17,447 --> 00:19:21,242 Ross, it took you 10 years to finally admit you liked me.
- 00:19:23,245 --> 00:19:28,749 Yeah? Well, missy, you better be glad that list is laminated. Heh.
- 00:19:28,917 --> 00:19:33,254 You know what, honey? You go ahead. We'll call her an alternate.
- 00:19:34,131 --> 00:19:38,009 - Okay. Hold my cruller. - Okay.
- 00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:40,887 Rach, are you really gonna let him do this?
- 00:19:41,054 --> 00:19:43,431 Honey, he's about to go hit on Isabella Rossellini.
- 00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:46,309 I'm just sorry we don't got popcorn.
- 00:19:49,396 --> 00:19:51,439 Hi. Hi.
- 00:19:51,607 --> 00:19:53,107 I'm Ross.
- 00:19:53,275 --> 00:19:56,944 Um, you don't know me, but I'm a big, big fan of yours.
- 00:19:57,112 --> 00:20:00,114 I mean, um, Blue Velvet. Whoo.
- 00:20:03,785 --> 00:20:07,121 I was wondering if I could maybe buy you a, um, cup of coffee.
- 00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:09,790 Or reimburse you for that one.
- 00:20:09,958 --> 00:20:11,626 [LAUGHS]
- 00:20:11,793 --> 00:20:14,086 Aren't you with that girl over there?
- 00:20:17,549 --> 00:20:18,591 [ROSS CHUCKLES]
- 00:20:18,759 --> 00:20:20,259 Well, yeah, kind of.
- 00:20:20,427 --> 00:20:23,179 But that's okay. See, we have an understanding.
- 00:20:23,347 --> 00:20:26,766 See, we each have this list of five famous people...
- 00:20:26,934 --> 00:20:28,351 ...and you were one of mine.
- 00:20:28,518 --> 00:20:30,811 So I'm allowed to sleep with you.
- 00:20:31,396 --> 00:20:34,148 No, no, no. It's flattering.
- 00:20:34,858 --> 00:20:36,484 Whoa. Heh, heh.
- 00:20:36,652 --> 00:20:40,821 - I don't know... - No, no, no. Wait. Wait, Isabella.
- 00:20:40,989 --> 00:20:42,865 Don't just dismiss this so fast.
- 00:20:43,033 --> 00:20:45,451 I mean, this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
- 00:20:45,619 --> 00:20:46,661 Yeah, for you.
- 00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:50,248 Is that the list?
- 00:20:50,415 --> 00:20:51,999 - Um, yes. - Can I see it?
- 00:20:52,167 --> 00:20:53,292 - Um, no. - Come on.
- 00:20:53,460 --> 00:20:55,086 But... Okay.
- 00:20:55,837 --> 00:20:57,171 I'm not on the list.
- 00:20:57,339 --> 00:20:59,840 Um, see, but that's not the final draft.
- 00:21:00,342 --> 00:21:02,301 It's laminated.
- 00:21:03,262 --> 00:21:04,303 Yeah.
- 00:21:04,471 --> 00:21:07,348 Um, okay, see, you were on my list.
- 00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:09,433 But then my friend Chandler...
- 00:21:12,354 --> 00:21:15,439 ...brought up the very good point that you are international.
- 00:21:15,607 --> 00:21:19,277 So I bumped you for Winona Ryder. Local.
- 00:21:19,444 --> 00:21:22,905 You know, it's ironic, because I have a list...
- 00:21:23,073 --> 00:21:26,075 ...of five goofy coffeehouse guys... ROSS: Uh-huh.
- 00:21:26,243 --> 00:21:30,371 ...and yesterday, I just bumped you for that guy over there.
- 00:21:30,539 --> 00:21:31,998 That?
- 00:21:38,380 --> 00:21:39,964 We're just gonna be friends.
- 00:21:45,387 --> 00:21:47,680 - You know what? - Hmm?
- 00:21:47,848 --> 00:21:49,348 Betcha I could fit in there.
- 00:21:51,935 --> 00:21:54,562 I got 5 bucks says you can't.
- 00:21:55,731 --> 00:21:58,024 Get out your checkbook, mister.
- 00:21:58,692 --> 00:22:01,319 Oh, I think I have the cash.
- 00:22:06,575 --> 00:22:08,659 JOEY: You are dog, man.
- 00:22:09,369 --> 00:22:11,495 I totally fit.
- 00:22:11,663 --> 00:22:13,831 Yeah. You got me.
- 00:22:13,999 --> 00:22:17,043 I'm out five big ones.
- 00:22:19,921 --> 00:22:21,172 There you go.
- 00:22:21,882 --> 00:22:23,257 JOEY: Thank you.
- 00:22:23,425 --> 00:22:25,092 Cha-ching.
- 00:22:27,137 --> 00:22:30,014 Oh, well, hello, Mr. Lincoln.
- 00:22:30,599 --> 00:22:33,142 Better luck next time, buddy.
- 00:22:33,310 --> 00:22:36,687 And the drinks are on me.
- 00:22:42,861 --> 00:22:44,862 [English - US - SDH]
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