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Эпизод с ветрянкой
The One with the Chicken Pox
Сезон: 02Серия: 23
Описание
Фиби заражается ветрянкой от сына Росса как раз в тот момент, когда её бывший возлюбленный, Райан (Чарли Шин), приезжает в город в отпуск из военно-морского флота. Хотя он никогда не болел ветрянкой, он хочет быть как можно ближе к ней, и в итоге они проводят остаток времени, болея и стараясь не чесаться. Чендлер нанимает Джоуи в качестве временного сотрудника в свой офис, и Джоуи решает разыграть эту роль. Он создаёт своего собственного персонажа, «Джозефа» (у которого есть жена и дети), и заходит слишком далеко в своей ролевой игре, что чуть не стоит Чендлеру работы. Моника расстроена тем, что у Ричарда нет «особенности» — необъяснимой причуды — как у неё. В конце концов, он придумывает что-то, чтобы ей угодить.
Субтитры
- 00:00:02,620 --> 00:00:05,830 Okay, Chandler, Mon, there's only one banana-nut muffin left.
- 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:07,420 I ordered mine first.
- 00:00:07,590 --> 00:00:09,460 Yeah, but I'm so much faster.
- 00:00:11,090 --> 00:00:12,340 Give it to me.
- 00:00:12,510 --> 00:00:13,670 No.
- 00:00:13,840 --> 00:00:14,930 Give it to me.
- 00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:17,930 Okay, you can have it.
- 00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:21,310 [Laughing]
- 00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:28,190 There you go. Enjoy your coffee.
- 00:00:29,020 --> 00:00:31,360 That was there when I got here.
- 00:00:34,030 --> 00:00:37,870 Hey, you guys, you will never guess who's coming to New York.
- 00:00:38,030 --> 00:00:40,160 Quick, Phoebe, tell us before he swallows.
- 00:00:40,330 --> 00:00:42,450 Ryan, that guy I went out with who's in the Navy.
- 00:00:42,620 --> 00:00:43,830 [GRUNTS]
- 00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:46,210 You went out with a guy in the Navy?
- 00:00:46,370 --> 00:00:48,830 Yeah, ! met him while playing guitar in the park.
- 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:52,550 Ryan threw in saltwater taffy because he didn't have change.
- 00:00:52,710 --> 00:00:55,050 Hey, is that when you wrote "Saltwater Taffy Man"?
- 00:00:55,220 --> 00:00:57,380 No. Heh.
- 00:00:57,550 --> 00:01:01,510 No, he's my submarine guy. He resurfaces, like, every couple years...
- 00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:04,480 ...and we have the most amazing three days together.
- 00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:09,190 Only this time, he's coming for two weeks. Two whole weeks, which means "yay."
- 00:01:10,900 --> 00:01:13,980 So wait, this guy goes down for, like, two years at a time?
- 00:01:14,150 --> 00:01:15,690 [GRUNTS]
- 00:01:17,570 --> 00:01:19,070 That'll teach you to lick my muffin.
- 00:01:19,240 --> 00:01:20,700 [GRUNTS]
- 00:01:24,290 --> 00:01:25,700 Hi.
- 00:01:26,460 --> 00:01:27,710 Oh, no. What happened?
- 00:01:27,870 --> 00:01:30,380 I just spoke to Carol. Ben's got chicken pox.
- 00:01:30,540 --> 00:01:31,790 GROUP: Oh, no. You're kidding.
- 00:01:31,960 --> 00:01:35,260 Yeah, so if you haven't had it, chances are you're gonna get it.
- 00:01:35,420 --> 00:01:37,050 -Well, I've had it. -Yeah, I've had it.
- 00:01:37,220 --> 00:01:38,220 -Had it. -Had it.
- 00:01:38,430 --> 00:01:42,100 I've never had it. I feel so left out. Oh, look.
- 00:02:36,650 --> 00:02:39,320 Honey, you made the bed again.
- 00:02:39,490 --> 00:02:42,820 I told you, you don't have to do that. This isn't camp.
- 00:02:42,990 --> 00:02:47,120 Oh. Then I guess the panty raid last night was totally uncalled for.
- 00:02:48,120 --> 00:02:49,830 Okay, I am going to take a shower.
- 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:53,330 And today I will be singing Jim Croce's "Leroy Brown."
- 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:05,220 Monica?
- 00:03:05,390 --> 00:03:07,930 Hey, Mon, I have a question.
- 00:03:08,100 --> 00:03:11,190 Is Leroy the baddest man in the whole damn town...
- 00:03:11,350 --> 00:03:13,310 ...or the fattest man in the whole damn town?
- 00:03:14,230 --> 00:03:18,400 The baddest. Otherwise, the song would be "Fat, Fat Leroy Brown."
- 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:20,990 What are you doing?
- 00:03:22,110 --> 00:03:25,070 I'm just waiting for you, sweetie.
- 00:03:27,450 --> 00:03:29,580 Are you remaking the bed?
- 00:03:30,370 --> 00:03:33,500 I'm sorry, !'m sorry. You know what? The way you did it, it was just fine.
- 00:03:33,790 --> 00:03:36,130 Then you're redoing it because...?
- 00:03:36,420 --> 00:03:38,050 If I tell you, you'll think I'm crazy.
- 00:03:38,210 --> 00:03:41,300 You're pretty much running that risk either way.
- 00:03:42,930 --> 00:03:44,930 Okay. You see...
- 00:03:45,430 --> 00:03:49,220 ...the duvet tag shouldn't be at the top left corner...
- 00:03:49,390 --> 00:03:51,480 ...it should be at the bottom right corner.
- 00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:54,600 -Uh-huh. Well, that's not so crazy. -I'm just easing you in.
- 00:03:54,770 --> 00:03:56,610 Ha. All right.
- 00:03:57,190 --> 00:03:59,320 All right, you see these little flower blossoms?
- 00:03:59,480 --> 00:04:01,780 They should be facing up, not down...
- 00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:05,450 ...because, well, the head of the bed is where the sun would be.
- 00:04:09,290 --> 00:04:11,200 You don't love me anymore, do you?
- 00:04:13,460 --> 00:04:16,540 Actually, if it's possible, I love you more.
- 00:04:17,210 --> 00:04:18,750 Really?
- 00:04:20,130 --> 00:04:22,300 Wow. Well, then, come on.
- 00:04:22,470 --> 00:04:25,880 I wanna show you how to fold the toilet paper into a point.
- 00:04:30,010 --> 00:04:32,220 Joey, if you need something to hold you over...
- 00:04:32,390 --> 00:04:35,140 ...I can get you a job right here as an entry-level processor.
- 00:04:35,310 --> 00:04:37,310 Don't you need experience for a job like that?
- 00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:38,900 It's not that hard to learn.
- 00:04:39,070 --> 00:04:42,860 And as for people realizing you don't know what you're doing, hey, you're an actor.
- 00:04:43,030 --> 00:04:46,530 Act like a processor, people will think you're a processor.
- 00:04:47,870 --> 00:04:50,200 Hey, Chandler. Here's this morning's projections.
- 00:04:50,370 --> 00:04:52,370 Hey, thanks. Scott Alexander, Joey Tribbiani.
- 00:04:52,540 --> 00:04:53,620 -Hey SCOTT: Hey.
- 00:04:53,790 --> 00:04:56,080 Joey is a, uh, fellow processor.
- 00:04:56,750 --> 00:04:57,870 No kidding?
- 00:04:59,210 --> 00:05:00,460 Oh, yeah.
- 00:05:01,710 --> 00:05:05,590 I process. People want the processing, I'm the one they call.
- 00:05:07,010 --> 00:05:10,220 -Where do you work? -Uh, well, right now I'm in between things.
- 00:05:10,470 --> 00:05:13,930 You know how it is. One day you're processing, the next day...
- 00:05:14,100 --> 00:05:16,940 ...you're not so much processing anymore.
- 00:05:17,100 --> 00:05:19,650 I was telling Joey about the opening in Fleischman's group.
- 00:05:19,810 --> 00:05:21,400 Fleischman's group.
- 00:05:21,570 --> 00:05:24,070 Whatever you do, don't touch his sandwiches.
- 00:05:24,240 --> 00:05:25,940 [BOTH LAUGH!NG]
- 00:05:27,820 --> 00:05:30,030 Are all you processors dorks?
- 00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:38,830 Ugh. This lipstick looks just great on you.
- 00:05:39,460 --> 00:05:41,540 You look fabulous, honey. You really do.
- 00:05:41,710 --> 00:05:43,210 Yeah, are you sure? Really?
- 00:05:46,340 --> 00:05:49,550 See, you look beautiful. For God sakes, dim the lights.
- 00:05:50,220 --> 00:05:51,510 [STAMMER!NG]
- 00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:53,310 I'm hideous.
- 00:05:53,470 --> 00:05:55,020 It's gonna be okay.
- 00:05:55,180 --> 00:05:56,890 Ryan's been underwater.
- 00:05:57,060 --> 00:06:00,480 He's just gonna be so glad that you don't have barnacles on your butt.
- 00:06:02,980 --> 00:06:05,280 [THUNDER CRASHING]
- 00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:14,620 PHOEBE: Come in.
- 00:06:15,450 --> 00:06:17,000 Hey, baby, !'m back--
- 00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:19,370 PHOEBE: Hey, Ryan. What's up?
- 00:06:21,920 --> 00:06:23,000 What's going on?
- 00:06:23,170 --> 00:06:27,590 PHOEBE: No, no. You have to stay back. I have the pox.
- 00:06:30,340 --> 00:06:32,260 Chicken or small?
- 00:06:32,850 --> 00:06:36,260 PHOEBE: Chicken, which is so ironic considering !'m a vegetarian.
- 00:06:37,850 --> 00:06:41,350 -Why aren't you at home in bed? -My grandmother's never had chicken pox.
- 00:06:41,730 --> 00:06:43,940 Please, please, tell me you have...
- 00:06:44,110 --> 00:06:47,070 ...because oh, my God, I forgot how cute you are.
- 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:50,150 -I'm sorry, ! never had them. -Oh, oh!
- 00:06:51,740 --> 00:06:55,240 If I had one wish, it'd be to build a time machine, go back to when I was 7...
- 00:06:55,410 --> 00:06:56,990 ...when Jimmy Hauser had chicken pox...
- 00:06:57,160 --> 00:07:00,250 ...I would grab that kid and rub him all over my face.
- 00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:03,880 PHOEBE: Yeah, or, you know, you could just wish that ! didn't have them now.
- 00:07:04,380 --> 00:07:05,670 Can ! please see your face?
- 00:07:05,840 --> 00:07:08,710 No. You don't wanna see a face covered with pox.
- 00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:11,130 Your face could be covered with lox, I wouldn't care.
- 00:07:12,590 --> 00:07:14,140 PHOEBE: And you hate fish. Oh.
- 00:07:16,220 --> 00:07:18,060 So sweet. All right.
- 00:07:18,220 --> 00:07:20,890 Okay, all right. You can see.
- 00:07:21,060 --> 00:07:23,150 This, ahem, is me.
- 00:07:25,150 --> 00:07:26,150 [SCREAMS]
- 00:07:28,150 --> 00:07:29,690 Sorry.
- 00:07:30,110 --> 00:07:31,360 I am scary.
- 00:07:31,530 --> 00:07:32,780 Sorry, the lightning--
- 00:07:32,950 --> 00:07:35,160 Lightning was an unfortunate coincidence.
- 00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:38,200 You look lovely. Lovely.
- 00:07:38,370 --> 00:07:39,580 I hate this.
- 00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:43,330 I tell you, I had the most amazing two weeks planned for us.
- 00:07:43,500 --> 00:07:46,920 And almost everything ! had in mind, we had to be a lot closer than this.
- 00:07:48,840 --> 00:07:52,420 Phoebe, I've spent the last eight months in a steel tube with men...
- 00:07:54,180 --> 00:07:56,640 ...thinking about this moment.
- 00:07:56,930 --> 00:07:59,430 I am not gonna let a bunch...
- 00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:01,850 ...of itchy spots stand between us.
- 00:08:09,150 --> 00:08:12,780 Okay. This is the most romantic disease I've ever had.
- 00:08:18,780 --> 00:08:20,700 -Hey. -Hey. How's the first day going?
- 00:08:20,870 --> 00:08:22,200 Pretty good. It's like you said.
- 00:08:22,370 --> 00:08:25,420 It's mostly just putting numbers from one column into another column.
- 00:08:25,580 --> 00:08:26,670 Well, there you go.
- 00:08:26,830 --> 00:08:28,290 Hey, and everybody's so nice.
- 00:08:28,460 --> 00:08:31,420 I just had a good talk with that lady with the red hair, Jeannie.
- 00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:34,590 Jeannie? The head of East Coast Operations, Jeannie?
- 00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:38,220 Yeah. Turns out our kids go to the same school.
- 00:08:41,220 --> 00:08:43,350 Yeah. Small world, huh? Ha, ha.
- 00:08:44,350 --> 00:08:46,020 Weird world.
- 00:08:46,850 --> 00:08:49,650 -Your kids? -I figure my character has kids.
- 00:08:51,820 --> 00:08:55,110 You know, there isn't a part of that sentence that I don't need explained.
- 00:08:56,240 --> 00:08:59,280 Well, see, when you're acting, you need to think about stuff like that.
- 00:08:59,450 --> 00:09:01,870 My character, Joseph the processing guy...
- 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:06,160 ...has two little girls, Ashley and Brittany.
- 00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:09,960 Ashley copies everything Brittany does.
- 00:09:14,630 --> 00:09:18,970 Oh. Well, invisible kids can be that way sometimes.
- 00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:24,850 Yeah, yeah. You know, Joseph and his wife, Karen, are thinking of having a third kid.
- 00:09:25,020 --> 00:09:26,810 You know what?
- 00:09:27,190 --> 00:09:28,980 Just did.
- 00:09:29,900 --> 00:09:33,780 Really, wow. That's some pretty powerful imaginary sperm you must have there.
- 00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:46,000 You know what makes the itching even worse?
- 00:09:46,410 --> 00:09:49,290 That you don't stop talking about it?
- 00:09:50,210 --> 00:09:53,090 -Fine. -Let's just play, okay?
- 00:09:53,250 --> 00:09:54,380 Good, okay.
- 00:09:54,550 --> 00:09:56,840 Here we go, double sixes.
- 00:09:57,010 --> 00:09:59,470 Here we go....
- 00:10:00,390 --> 00:10:01,390 Here we go.
- 00:10:01,550 --> 00:10:04,930 Come to Mama. Just getting ready to roll the dice.
- 00:10:05,430 --> 00:10:07,560 What are you doing? Are you scratching?
- 00:10:07,730 --> 00:10:10,600 No. This is what ! do for luck, okay?
- 00:10:11,690 --> 00:10:13,150 You're scratching.
- 00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:14,770 -Give me the dice. -No.
- 00:10:14,940 --> 00:10:17,280 -Give me the dice. -No. Here. There.
- 00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:18,950 Look, double sixes.
- 00:10:20,530 --> 00:10:22,780 We can't scratch. You know we can't. We'll scar.
- 00:10:23,160 --> 00:10:27,250 I can't stop thinking about it. It's just so hard.
- 00:10:27,410 --> 00:10:30,540 I just wanna grab these houses and rub them all over my body.
- 00:10:30,710 --> 00:10:32,290 -No. No. -Give it.
- 00:10:32,460 --> 00:10:33,750 Come on.
- 00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:36,840 You know you want it. You know you want it too. Come on.
- 00:10:37,010 --> 00:10:39,220 Let's just be bad. It'll feel so good.
- 00:10:39,380 --> 00:10:41,050 Oh, come on. Come on.
- 00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:43,180 -Uh-huh. -Oh, God, help me.
- 00:10:43,350 --> 00:10:45,640 -Uh-huh. Good, huh? -Yeah.
- 00:10:45,810 --> 00:10:48,060 -Oh, yeah. -Okay, good. Now do me.
- 00:10:48,230 --> 00:10:51,060 Do my back. Oh, come on. Harder.
- 00:10:51,230 --> 00:10:52,270 There you go.
- 00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:53,520 -Don't move. -Why?
- 00:10:53,690 --> 00:10:55,020 -Don't move. -What are you...?
- 00:10:55,190 --> 00:10:56,610 [BOTH MOANING]
- 00:10:58,990 --> 00:11:02,320 Aah! Stop that. Stop that right now.
- 00:11:02,490 --> 00:11:04,620 You know, I might've expected this of you, Phoebe.
- 00:11:04,780 --> 00:11:06,700 But, Ryan, you're a military man.
- 00:11:09,540 --> 00:11:10,790 [LAUGHlNG]
- 00:11:11,250 --> 00:11:13,670 You and Milton have to join us on the boat.
- 00:11:13,830 --> 00:11:16,710 Karen will pack a lunch, you bring the kids. We'll make a day of it.
- 00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:19,710 Oh, that sounds lovely. We're gonna have to set that up.
- 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:22,630 Oh, I better get back. Hope the baby feels better.
- 00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:24,550 Oh, thanks. Thanks.
- 00:11:24,720 --> 00:11:26,760 -Bye-bye, Jeannie. Ha, ha. JEANN!E: Bye-bye, Joseph.
- 00:11:27,390 --> 00:11:29,140 What a phony.
- 00:11:31,940 --> 00:11:35,440 Well, I'm sure you'll teach her a lesson when she steps off the dock onto nothing.
- 00:11:37,110 --> 00:11:38,730 -Hey, Mr. Douglas. -Sir.
- 00:11:38,900 --> 00:11:40,530 Uh, listen, Bing, I got your memo.
- 00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:43,410 So we're not gonna see the report until next Friday?
- 00:11:43,570 --> 00:11:46,240 Well, the people in my group want to spend the holiday with family.
- 00:11:46,410 --> 00:11:49,240 I have a family. I'm gonna be here.
- 00:11:49,410 --> 00:11:51,660 Yeah, Bing. What's that about?
- 00:11:56,590 --> 00:11:59,750 It's about cutting my people a little slack, you know, for morale.
- 00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:02,760 If you wanna see some rough numbers, I can get them to you by Wednesday.
- 00:12:02,930 --> 00:12:05,260 Rough numbers?
- 00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:10,220 This company was not built on rough numbers. Right, Mr. Douglas?
- 00:12:10,770 --> 00:12:13,690 Have the final numbers on my desk by Tuesday.
- 00:12:13,850 --> 00:12:16,060 If you say so, sir.
- 00:12:16,730 --> 00:12:18,820 Joseph's good, isn't he?
- 00:12:20,070 --> 00:12:22,530 Well, I'm going to kill you.
- 00:12:23,650 --> 00:12:28,200 Hey, hey, I just figured Joseph's the kind of guy who likes to mix it up.
- 00:12:28,370 --> 00:12:31,540 You know, get in there, ruffle some feathers.
- 00:12:32,750 --> 00:12:34,080 Why?
- 00:12:35,920 --> 00:12:39,460 Look, !'m sorry, but that's what Joseph does.
- 00:12:39,630 --> 00:12:41,760 Okay? lf you try to pull something...
- 00:12:42,130 --> 00:12:43,840 ...he'll call you on it.
- 00:12:44,300 --> 00:12:46,380 "What are you trying to pull?" he'll say.
- 00:12:51,390 --> 00:12:53,060 Ooh. Duct tape.
- 00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:55,520 Was ! supposed to bring something too?
- 00:12:57,020 --> 00:13:00,860 This is for the scratchy twins out there. I taped oven mitts to their hands.
- 00:13:02,070 --> 00:13:03,490 You're strict.
- 00:13:03,650 --> 00:13:05,700 Yeah, well, it's for their own good.
- 00:13:05,860 --> 00:13:10,620 You know, I like the way you have efficiently folded this tab under.
- 00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:14,950 See, in a tape emergency, you could shave valuable seconds off your time.
- 00:13:16,420 --> 00:13:18,420 Exactly. Oh.
- 00:13:18,580 --> 00:13:22,880 God, I love that I can be totally neurotic around you now.
- 00:13:23,420 --> 00:13:24,590 -Tell me the truth. -Hmm.
- 00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:27,930 Don't you like it better that everything on your desk is perpendicular?
- 00:13:28,090 --> 00:13:31,300 If it's not a right angle, it is a wrong angle.
- 00:13:32,220 --> 00:13:33,560 -Very good. -Thank you.
- 00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:36,230 You know what? Tomorrow, !'m gonna do your clocks.
- 00:13:37,190 --> 00:13:39,020 You're gonna do what to my clocks?
- 00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:40,730 I'm gonna set them to my time.
- 00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:44,570 Well, I'm confused.
- 00:13:44,740 --> 00:13:46,860 I thought we shared time.
- 00:13:47,740 --> 00:13:52,030 No, no. See, in my bedroom I set my clock six minutes fast.
- 00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:53,200 You wanna know why?
- 00:13:53,370 --> 00:13:57,830 Because it's in a slightly different time zone than the kitchen?
- 00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:00,790 -You know what? Forget it. -No, come on, come on, tell me.
- 00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:02,710 -No, you don't understand. -No, come on.
- 00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:05,000 No, you don't have any of these cute obsessive things.
- 00:14:05,210 --> 00:14:07,090 No, that's not true. That is not true.
- 00:14:07,260 --> 00:14:08,420 -Oh, yeah? -Yeah.
- 00:14:08,590 --> 00:14:10,090 All right, well, tell me one of yours.
- 00:14:10,260 --> 00:14:11,850 Okay.
- 00:14:15,220 --> 00:14:16,390 Ah.
- 00:14:16,560 --> 00:14:21,020 One of my things is, I always separate my sweat socks...
- 00:14:21,190 --> 00:14:23,900 ...from my dress socks.
- 00:14:26,030 --> 00:14:28,150 -Yeah. -What if they get mixed up?
- 00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:30,660 Boy, ! would just, uh....
- 00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:32,490 I would freak out.
- 00:14:34,660 --> 00:14:36,370 You would not.
- 00:14:36,540 --> 00:14:39,960 I can't believe this. ! hate this. You're too normal.
- 00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:42,330 I can't believe my boyfriend doesn't have a thing.
- 00:14:42,500 --> 00:14:45,040 My boyfriend doesn't have a thing.
- 00:14:45,210 --> 00:14:48,460 See, if anyone overheard that, I didn't come off well there.
- 00:14:54,890 --> 00:14:56,220 JOEY: Hey.
- 00:14:57,730 --> 00:15:02,520 -Mr. Douglas is looking for you. -Why? Why is Mr. Douglas looking for me?
- 00:15:03,230 --> 00:15:06,770 Because he has a strong suspicion that you dropped the ball on the Lender project.
- 00:15:07,610 --> 00:15:10,240 Why? Why does he suspect that?
- 00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:13,780 Because at first, he thought it was Joseph...
- 00:15:13,950 --> 00:15:17,410 ...but after he asked Joseph about it, turns out it was you.
- 00:15:19,460 --> 00:15:22,870 -Anyway, I just thought you should know. -All right. That's it.
- 00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:24,540 Look, Joey...
- 00:15:24,710 --> 00:15:27,500 ...I'm sorry, ! realize this is the role of a lifetime for you...
- 00:15:27,670 --> 00:15:30,010 ...and if ! could just fire Joseph, I would.
- 00:15:30,170 --> 00:15:31,970 But unfortunately that's not possible.
- 00:15:32,130 --> 00:15:33,800 So I'm gonna have to let both of you go.
- 00:15:35,850 --> 00:15:37,930 What are you talking about? Everybody loves Joseph.
- 00:15:38,100 --> 00:15:40,140 I don't. I hate Joseph.
- 00:15:40,890 --> 00:15:43,650 Okay, I think he's a brown-nosing suck-up.
- 00:15:44,860 --> 00:15:46,110 Oh, yeah?
- 00:15:46,270 --> 00:15:48,020 Well, you can't fire Joseph. You know why?
- 00:15:48,190 --> 00:15:49,400 He's not in your department.
- 00:15:49,570 --> 00:15:50,860 [SCOFFS]
- 00:15:51,530 --> 00:15:52,570 [GRUNTS]
- 00:15:54,530 --> 00:15:58,330 All right, okay. All right, so ! can't fire Joseph...
- 00:15:58,490 --> 00:16:00,120 ...but, uh, I can sleep with his wife.
- 00:16:03,580 --> 00:16:05,670 -Not Karen. -Yeah, Karen.
- 00:16:05,830 --> 00:16:10,000 I'm thinking about having an affair with her. Oh, you know what?
- 00:16:10,170 --> 00:16:11,970 I just did.
- 00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:16,470 What the hell are you doing to me, man?
- 00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:17,970 Oh, it's not me.
- 00:16:18,140 --> 00:16:19,470 It's my character.
- 00:16:20,470 --> 00:16:21,980 Chandie.
- 00:16:22,810 --> 00:16:26,350 Yeah, the rogue processor who seduces his coworkers' wives for sport...
- 00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:28,440 ...and then laughs about it the next day.
- 00:16:28,610 --> 00:16:32,110 In fact, I have her panties right there in my drawer.
- 00:16:32,280 --> 00:16:34,700 -Really? -No, freak show, she's fictional!
- 00:16:34,860 --> 00:16:37,910 Come on! Hey. Take it easy.
- 00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:42,250 If it means that much to you, I'll, uh-- !'ll go find something else.
- 00:16:43,290 --> 00:16:44,580 Thank you.
- 00:16:46,460 --> 00:16:49,920 It's just that !'m gonna miss Joseph.
- 00:16:50,630 --> 00:16:53,050 I liked him. His wife.
- 00:16:53,220 --> 00:16:54,800 She was hot.
- 00:16:56,010 --> 00:16:57,590 Ow.
- 00:16:59,390 --> 00:17:02,020 Please take these off. I swear I won't scratch.
- 00:17:02,180 --> 00:17:04,520 No, sorry, hon. Monica's orders.
- 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:08,480 Well, that wasn't easy.
- 00:17:09,900 --> 00:17:12,070 Okay, dinner's on.
- 00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:14,940 And there's a peach cobbler warming in the oven.
- 00:17:15,110 --> 00:17:19,200 So the plate's gonna be hot, but that shouldn't be a problem for you.
- 00:17:20,780 --> 00:17:22,660 All right, you kids. Bye, now.
- 00:17:22,870 --> 00:17:24,750 -Bye. ROSS: Oh, look, look.
- 00:17:24,910 --> 00:17:26,790 A low-budget puppet show.
- 00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:28,460 [LAUGHlNG]
- 00:17:28,630 --> 00:17:30,960 It's such a shame you can't see what finger I'm holding up.
- 00:17:31,130 --> 00:17:32,300 All right.
- 00:17:36,470 --> 00:17:38,930 -Wine? -Please.
- 00:17:47,770 --> 00:17:50,900 -Oh. Spilled some. -I got it.
- 00:18:02,580 --> 00:18:04,490 I must tell you, you look beautiful tonight.
- 00:18:05,330 --> 00:18:06,660 What?
- 00:18:08,080 --> 00:18:09,540 Sorry.
- 00:18:12,170 --> 00:18:13,210 You look beautiful.
- 00:18:13,380 --> 00:18:14,670 Oh.
- 00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:32,730 You know what? That's it. That's it.
- 00:18:39,360 --> 00:18:40,910 Oh! Oh!
- 00:18:41,070 --> 00:18:43,780 -Oh, yes. -Oh.
- 00:18:43,950 --> 00:18:45,370 Good.
- 00:18:50,670 --> 00:18:52,000 You guys, did you--?
- 00:19:01,890 --> 00:19:04,140 Monica, wake up.
- 00:19:04,300 --> 00:19:06,600 -Monica. -What's up?
- 00:19:06,770 --> 00:19:08,140 I thought of a thing.
- 00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:14,810 -Yeah? -Yeah.
- 00:19:14,980 --> 00:19:19,860 I have to sleep, have to, on this side of the bed.
- 00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:24,490 No, honey. You have to sleep on this side of the bed...
- 00:19:24,660 --> 00:19:27,450 ...because ! have to sleep on this side of the bed.
- 00:19:29,330 --> 00:19:32,040 Or so I would have you believe.
- 00:19:33,500 --> 00:19:39,210 No. Big deal. So you have a side of the bed. Everybody has a side of the bed.
- 00:19:39,380 --> 00:19:42,630 Hey, come on. You haven't heard my reason yet.
- 00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:45,600 -All right, go on. -Okay.
- 00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:48,310 I have to sleep on the west side...
- 00:19:48,470 --> 00:19:51,520 ...because ! grew up in California...
- 00:19:51,690 --> 00:19:53,520 ...and otherwise...
- 00:19:53,690 --> 00:19:56,980 ...the ocean would be on the wrong side.
- 00:19:58,320 --> 00:19:59,650 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:20:01,740 --> 00:20:05,780 -Oh, my God. You're a freak. -Yeah.
- 00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:08,160 How about that?
- 00:20:12,210 --> 00:20:15,250 -So, Ryan, where are you shipping off to? -I really can't say.
- 00:20:15,420 --> 00:20:17,670 So do you have any nuclear weapons onboard?
- 00:20:18,340 --> 00:20:19,590 I can't say.
- 00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:22,550 Well, do you get to look through one of those periscope thingies?
- 00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:24,720 I'm sorry, but I can't say.
- 00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:27,850 Wow, it's neat learning about submarines.
- 00:20:28,430 --> 00:20:30,470 I better get out of here. I'm gonna miss my flight.
- 00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:31,850 Okay, I'll walk you out.
- 00:20:32,020 --> 00:20:34,560 ROSS: Bye, Ryan. -Pleasure. Take care.
- 00:20:39,690 --> 00:20:44,490 So do you, uh, think we could get you one of those uniform things?
- 00:20:45,450 --> 00:20:47,240 You like that, do you?
- 00:20:47,410 --> 00:20:49,370 -Oh, yeah. -I'll make some calls.
- 00:20:49,530 --> 00:20:50,830 Okay.
- 00:20:52,620 --> 00:20:55,120 Can you believe that's how we spent our two weeks?
- 00:20:55,290 --> 00:20:57,170 We didn't do the romantic things I'd planned...
- 00:20:57,330 --> 00:21:02,000 ...like having a picnic in Central Park and, you know, a coffee at Central Perk.
- 00:21:02,170 --> 00:21:03,710 Oh, I just got that.
- 00:21:13,060 --> 00:21:14,640 Taxi.
- 00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:21,520 Bye, you.
- 00:21:25,820 --> 00:21:27,280 [PHOEBE LAUGHS]
- 00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:36,460 I'm sorry, we're clo--
- 00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:41,170 Hey, sailor.
- 00:21:41,380 --> 00:21:42,960 Is this what you had in mind?
- 00:21:43,550 --> 00:21:45,420 Ha, ha. I'll say.
- 00:21:49,260 --> 00:21:50,720 [SHOUTS]
- 00:21:51,510 --> 00:21:53,850 I'm shipping out tomorrow.
- 00:21:54,020 --> 00:21:56,060 Well, then, uh...
- 00:21:57,560 --> 00:21:59,520 ...we better make this night count.
- 00:22:01,940 --> 00:22:04,780 Oh, wait, ! forgot to turn off the cappuccino machine.
- 00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:07,530 [SHOUTS]
- 00:22:13,490 --> 00:22:15,330 Anchors aweigh.
- 00:22:17,500 --> 00:22:20,080 Oh, wait. My purse, my purse, my purse.
- 00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:28,420 Oh, you know what? I forgot to turn off the bathroom light.
- 00:22:28,590 --> 00:22:30,800 All right, why don't I just meet you upstairs?
- 00:22:35,810 --> 00:22:37,180 RACHEL: Honey.
- 00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:40,440 [English - US - SDH]
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