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Эпизод, где Эдди не хочет выселяться
The One Where Eddie Won't Go
Сезон: 02Серия: 19
Описание
Чендлер, напуганный своим странным новым соседом по комнате, Эдди, требует, чтобы тот съехал. Эдди соглашается, но потом даже не помнит разговора. Явно невменяемый, он воображает, что они с Чендлером ездили в Лас-Вегас, чего на самом деле не было. Джои изо всех сил пытается справиться с потерей работы в сериале «Дни нашей жизни» и сопутствующим крахом его образа жизни. В конце концов он возвращается к Чендлеру. При этом они обманом заставляют Эдди поверить, что он никогда раньше не жил в квартире Чендлера. Тем временем новая книга о расширении прав и возможностей женщин вдохновляет девушек на «встречу с богиней», раскрывая скрытые истины.
Субтитры
- 00:00:07,507 --> 00:00:08,590 [MOANS]
- 00:00:08,758 --> 00:00:09,883 Hey, Eddie. Aah!
- 00:00:12,095 --> 00:00:14,388 -What are you doing here? -Watching you sleep.
- 00:00:16,266 --> 00:00:17,349 Why?
- 00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:19,560 It makes me feel, um, peaceful.
- 00:00:19,728 --> 00:00:21,395 Ha, ha. Ahem. Please.
- 00:00:22,230 --> 00:00:23,522 I can't sleep now!
- 00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:24,898 Oh, you want me to sing?
- 00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:27,526 No. Look.
- 00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:31,030 That's it. ! want you out of the apartment now!
- 00:00:31,197 --> 00:00:33,282 Oh, what are you talking about?
- 00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:34,825 Hannibal Lecter?
- 00:00:36,369 --> 00:00:37,619 Better roommate than you.
- 00:00:37,787 --> 00:00:38,829 No.
- 00:00:38,997 --> 00:00:42,875 I don't think you're being fair! One night you see me, you get scared.
- 00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:46,003 What about the other nights when you don't see me, huh?
- 00:00:47,005 --> 00:00:48,964 Last night you went and got some water...
- 00:00:49,215 --> 00:00:52,634 ...and I was nice enough to hide behind the door. What that about, huh?
- 00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:55,179 -I didn't realize that. - Ah.
- 00:00:56,389 --> 00:00:57,473 Get out now!
- 00:00:57,640 --> 00:01:00,225 Okay. You really want me out?
- 00:01:00,393 --> 00:01:01,477 Yes, please.
- 00:01:01,644 --> 00:01:04,313 Then ! want to hear you say you want me out.
- 00:01:04,481 --> 00:01:05,773 I want you out.
- 00:01:05,940 --> 00:01:07,649 I want to hear it from your lips.
- 00:01:09,194 --> 00:01:10,569 Where'd you hear it before?
- 00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:13,822 Oh, right, all right. You know what? Consider me gone.
- 00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:17,326 I'll be out by the time you get home from work tomorrow.
- 00:01:18,870 --> 00:01:20,871 [MOUTHS] Thank you. EDD!E: ! heard that.
- 00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:14,466 -Thanks. -Hey.
- 00:02:14,634 --> 00:02:15,717 -Hey. -Hey.
- 00:02:15,885 --> 00:02:17,427 Well, look at you!
- 00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:19,471 Finally got that time machine working, huh?
- 00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:22,099 You like it?
- 00:02:22,267 --> 00:02:24,977 This guy was selling them on 8th Avenue and I thought:
- 00:02:25,228 --> 00:02:28,105 -"You know what I don't have?" - A mirror?
- 00:02:29,274 --> 00:02:32,025 Fine, make fun. ! think it's jaunty.
- 00:02:33,486 --> 00:02:36,947 Wow! For a guy who's recently lost his job, you're in a good mood.
- 00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:40,284 I'll be all right. I'm not starting from square one.
- 00:02:40,535 --> 00:02:43,954 I was Dr. Drake Ramoray on Days of our Lives.
- 00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:46,957 Huh? That's got to have some kind of cachet.
- 00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:50,169 Cachet? Jaunty?
- 00:02:50,336 --> 00:02:53,255 Chandler gave me word-of-the-day toilet paper.
- 00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:56,675 I'm gonna get some coffee.
- 00:02:57,886 --> 00:02:59,052 -Hey. MONICA & RACHEL: Hey.
- 00:02:59,220 --> 00:03:01,680 Oh! So? Did you read the book?
- 00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:04,099 Oh, my God. It was incredible!
- 00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:05,809 Didn't it, like, totally speak to you?
- 00:03:05,977 --> 00:03:08,020 -Whoa, whoa, what book is this? -Oh.
- 00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:11,899 Uh! You have to read this book. It's called Be Your own Wind Keeper.
- 00:03:12,066 --> 00:03:14,985 Ooh. It's about how women need to become more empowered.
- 00:03:15,153 --> 00:03:17,654 And, oh! But there's wind.
- 00:03:19,365 --> 00:03:22,075 And the wind can make us goddesses.
- 00:03:22,327 --> 00:03:25,120 Do you know who takes our wind? Men. They just take it.
- 00:03:27,790 --> 00:03:29,583 Men just take our wind?
- 00:03:29,792 --> 00:03:33,754 Uh-huh. All the time. Because they are the lightning-bearers.
- 00:03:34,130 --> 00:03:36,757 -Wow. PHOEBE: Yeah.
- 00:03:36,925 --> 00:03:39,718 That sounds kind of cool. It's like The Hobbit.
- 00:03:40,511 --> 00:03:42,095 It is nothing like The Hobbit.
- 00:03:43,264 --> 00:03:45,974 It's like reading about every relationship I've ever had.
- 00:03:46,142 --> 00:03:47,476 Except for Richard.
- 00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:49,645 Oh, yes. No. Richard would never steal your wind.
- 00:03:49,812 --> 00:03:51,230 -No. PHOEBE: No.
- 00:03:51,397 --> 00:03:53,815 -Because he's yummy. -Yes.
- 00:03:53,983 --> 00:03:55,150 But all the other ones.
- 00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:58,195 Oh, and the part about how they're always drinking...
- 00:03:58,404 --> 00:04:00,280 ...from our pool of inner power.
- 00:04:00,531 --> 00:04:02,741 But God forbid we should take a sip.
- 00:04:02,992 --> 00:04:04,117 Anybody want a cruller?
- 00:04:04,285 --> 00:04:07,704 This is a typical lightning-bearer thing.
- 00:04:07,872 --> 00:04:09,539 Right there. It's like, um...
- 00:04:09,707 --> 00:04:13,418 ..."Hello. Who wants one of my phallic-shaped man-cakes?"
- 00:04:21,052 --> 00:04:24,096 ESTELLE: Don't worry about it, already! Things happen.
- 00:04:25,306 --> 00:04:29,309 So you're not mad at me for getting fired and everything?
- 00:04:29,477 --> 00:04:31,728 Joey, look at me.
- 00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:33,730 Look at me!
- 00:04:35,483 --> 00:04:37,901 Do I have lipstick on my teeth?
- 00:04:40,905 --> 00:04:41,989 No.
- 00:04:42,156 --> 00:04:43,448 Uh, can we get back to me?
- 00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:47,744 Look, honey. People get fired left and right in this business.
- 00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:50,914 I already got you an audition for Another World.
- 00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:52,499 All right!
- 00:04:53,626 --> 00:04:55,252 "Cab Driver Number 2"?
- 00:04:55,753 --> 00:04:57,129 You're welcome.
- 00:04:58,548 --> 00:05:01,300 But-- But ! was Dr. Drake Ramoray!
- 00:05:01,467 --> 00:05:05,012 How can I go from being a neurosurgeon to driving a cab?
- 00:05:05,263 --> 00:05:08,682 Things change. Roll with them.
- 00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:11,184 But this is a two-line part!
- 00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:13,562 It's like taking a step backwards.
- 00:05:13,771 --> 00:05:15,647 I'm not gonna do this.
- 00:05:17,066 --> 00:05:18,483 Joey.
- 00:05:18,693 --> 00:05:21,653 I'm gonna tell you the same thing I told Al Minza...
- 00:05:21,821 --> 00:05:24,197 ...and his pyramid of dogs.
- 00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:28,869 Take any job you can get, and don't make on the floor.
- 00:05:30,788 --> 00:05:32,414 I'm sorry.
- 00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:34,082 I'll see you.
- 00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:35,292 [JOEY SIGHS]
- 00:05:35,626 --> 00:05:37,878 Uh, God!
- 00:05:38,379 --> 00:05:40,464 Oh, God! I mean, it's just so....
- 00:05:40,715 --> 00:05:41,923 Isn't it?
- 00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:45,218 Uh. This is like reading about my own life!
- 00:05:45,386 --> 00:05:49,264 This book could have been called Be Your Own wind Keeper, Rachel!
- 00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:52,142 It wouldn't have sold a million copies...
- 00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:54,519 ...but it would've made a nice gift for you.
- 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:56,938 -Hey, you guys. -Hey.
- 00:05:57,106 --> 00:05:59,149 Uh, sweetie, we've gotta go.
- 00:05:59,317 --> 00:06:00,400 No!
- 00:06:02,528 --> 00:06:03,737 No? Heh.
- 00:06:03,905 --> 00:06:08,784 No! Why do we always have to do everything according to your timetable?
- 00:06:08,951 --> 00:06:12,245 Actually, it's the movie theater that has the timetable.
- 00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:14,915 It's so you don't miss the beginning.
- 00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:16,416 [BOTH CHUCKLE]
- 00:06:16,584 --> 00:06:21,380 This isn't about the movie theater. This is about you stealing my wind.
- 00:06:23,424 --> 00:06:25,008 You go, girl!
- 00:06:27,929 --> 00:06:30,138 I can't pull that off, can !?
- 00:06:31,933 --> 00:06:34,935 Excuse me, your wind?
- 00:06:35,103 --> 00:06:36,603 Yes, my wind.
- 00:06:36,813 --> 00:06:39,648 How do you expect me to grow if you won't let me blow?
- 00:06:46,864 --> 00:06:48,907 You know I don't...
- 00:06:51,494 --> 00:06:53,703 ...have a problem with that.
- 00:07:01,379 --> 00:07:03,213 Okay.
- 00:07:04,590 --> 00:07:08,427 I just really need to be with myself right now.
- 00:07:09,512 --> 00:07:10,595 I'm sorry.
- 00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:13,140 PHOEBE: Mm, mm, mm. -Uh, you're right.
- 00:07:13,307 --> 00:07:14,683 I don't have to apologize.
- 00:07:15,601 --> 00:07:17,185 Sorry. Damn it!
- 00:07:23,901 --> 00:07:25,485 -What is it? -I don't know.
- 00:07:25,736 --> 00:07:28,530 It's got all this stuff about wind and trees...
- 00:07:28,698 --> 00:07:30,282 ...and some sacred pool.
- 00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:33,743 I don't really get it. But she's pretty upset about it.
- 00:07:33,911 --> 00:07:36,746 This is why I don't date women who read.
- 00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:39,541 Uh-oh.
- 00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:41,042 What? What's that?
- 00:07:41,878 --> 00:07:43,378 It's my VlSA bill.
- 00:07:43,629 --> 00:07:45,881 Envelope one of two.
- 00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:50,760 -That can't be good. -Open it, open it.
- 00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:56,016 -Oh, my God! -Whoa!
- 00:07:56,184 --> 00:07:58,268 Look at this! How did I spend so much money?
- 00:07:58,436 --> 00:08:02,606 Uh, that's just the minimum amount. That's your total.
- 00:08:02,857 --> 00:08:04,608 Aah!
- 00:08:04,775 --> 00:08:09,196 Whoa, whoa. Thirty-five hundred dollars at "Porcelain Safari"?
- 00:08:09,447 --> 00:08:10,780 My animals.
- 00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:15,160 The guy said they suited me. He spoke with an accent. I was confused.
- 00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:16,828 Oh.
- 00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:18,663 I don't know what to do!
- 00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:21,833 You can start by driving a cab on Another World.
- 00:08:22,084 --> 00:08:23,793 -What? -That audition?
- 00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:25,754 That's a two-line part!
- 00:08:25,922 --> 00:08:30,091 Joey, you owe $1 1 00 at "I Love Lucite."
- 00:08:30,259 --> 00:08:32,636 -So what? -So suck it up, man.
- 00:08:32,803 --> 00:08:34,387 It's a job. lt's money.
- 00:08:34,555 --> 00:08:38,433 I don't need you getting judgmental and condescending and pedantic.
- 00:08:39,602 --> 00:08:42,020 -Toilet paper? -Yeah.
- 00:08:43,981 --> 00:08:46,900 I'm not being any of those things. I'm being realistic.
- 00:08:47,068 --> 00:08:49,986 -You're supposed to be my friend! -I am your friend.
- 00:08:50,154 --> 00:08:52,239 Then tell me things like, "You'll be fine."
- 00:08:52,490 --> 00:08:55,659 And "Something big's gonna come along. ! know it!"
- 00:08:55,826 --> 00:08:57,160 But ! don't know it.
- 00:08:57,370 --> 00:09:00,872 What ! do know is you owe $2300 at "Isn't It Chromantic?"
- 00:09:02,416 --> 00:09:04,292 I'm aware of what I owe.
- 00:09:04,460 --> 00:09:08,296 Then get some sense. It took you 1 0 years to get that job.
- 00:09:08,464 --> 00:09:11,341 -How long till you get another? -I don't want to hear this!
- 00:09:11,509 --> 00:09:12,592 I'm just saying....
- 00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:14,928 Well, don't "just say"!
- 00:09:16,681 --> 00:09:18,848 Oh. Maybe I should just go.
- 00:09:19,016 --> 00:09:21,685 Okay.
- 00:09:21,852 --> 00:09:23,395 I'll see you later.
- 00:09:24,772 --> 00:09:26,314 Just think about it.
- 00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:28,400 I don't need to think about it!
- 00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:30,860 I was Dr. Drake Ramoray!
- 00:09:31,112 --> 00:09:32,904 That was huge!
- 00:09:33,197 --> 00:09:35,615 Big things are gonna happen! You'll see!
- 00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:36,908 Ross!
- 00:09:37,451 --> 00:09:38,952 You still there?
- 00:09:46,961 --> 00:09:48,253 [S!GHS]
- 00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:52,465 -Hey, pal. -Oh, God!
- 00:09:54,343 --> 00:09:55,844 What are you still doing here?
- 00:09:56,012 --> 00:09:58,972 Uh, just some basic dehydrating of fruits and vegetables.
- 00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:01,683 Man alive, this thing's fantastic!
- 00:10:02,893 --> 00:10:04,769 Aren't you forgetting anything?
- 00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:07,105 Oh, yeah. I got us a new goldfish.
- 00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:09,232 He's feistier than the last one.
- 00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:12,527 Maybe because the last one was made by Pepperidge Farm.
- 00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:17,741 Eddie, isn't there something else you're supposed to be doing now?
- 00:10:17,908 --> 00:10:20,410 Not unless it's got something to do with dehydrating.
- 00:10:20,578 --> 00:10:22,412 Because right now, I'm a dehydrating maniac!
- 00:10:22,580 --> 00:10:24,039 [LAUGHS]
- 00:10:26,334 --> 00:10:27,876 I thought we had a deal.
- 00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:29,711 -I thought by the time I got-- -Uh, uh.
- 00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:31,004 You know what that is?
- 00:10:31,756 --> 00:10:32,922 Your last roommate's kidney?
- 00:10:33,090 --> 00:10:34,382 [EDDlE CHUCKLES]
- 00:10:34,925 --> 00:10:36,676 That's a tomato. Ha, ha.
- 00:10:36,927 --> 00:10:38,762 This one definitely goes in the display.
- 00:10:38,929 --> 00:10:40,430 [LAUGHlNG]
- 00:10:43,017 --> 00:10:44,100 It's in the display.
- 00:10:44,268 --> 00:10:45,935 [SOBS]
- 00:10:48,856 --> 00:10:51,775 Hey, Gunther. Let me get a, uh, lemonade to go.
- 00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:53,360 Lemonade?
- 00:10:53,527 --> 00:10:55,070 You okay, man?
- 00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:57,572 Ahh, it's career stuff.
- 00:10:57,823 --> 00:11:00,492 They killed off my character on the show.
- 00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:03,411 Oh, that's too bad. How'd they do it?
- 00:11:03,579 --> 00:11:05,538 I fell down an elevator shaft.
- 00:11:05,706 --> 00:11:07,874 Oh. That sucks.
- 00:11:08,125 --> 00:11:09,751 I was buried in an avalanche.
- 00:11:11,295 --> 00:11:12,379 What?
- 00:11:12,546 --> 00:11:15,131 I used to be Brice on A/l My Chi/dren.
- 00:11:33,109 --> 00:11:36,444 [BOTH SCREAM]
- 00:11:37,071 --> 00:11:38,738 Why must everybody watch me sleep?
- 00:11:39,281 --> 00:11:41,616 There'll be no more watching me sleep! No more...
- 00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:42,867 -...watching! -I--
- 00:11:43,077 --> 00:11:44,369 CHANDLER: Neh.
- 00:11:48,874 --> 00:11:52,711 I got some great stuff to dehydrate. Grapes, apricots.
- 00:11:52,878 --> 00:11:56,423 I thought it'd be cool to see what happens with these water balloons.
- 00:11:56,590 --> 00:11:59,676 Get out. Get out, get out, get out!
- 00:12:01,303 --> 00:12:02,929 -What? -You! Move out!
- 00:12:03,180 --> 00:12:07,267 Take your fruit! Your stupid small fruit and get out!
- 00:12:07,435 --> 00:12:09,436 You want me to move out? Uh....
- 00:12:13,274 --> 00:12:15,150 Uh-huh.
- 00:12:16,485 --> 00:12:17,694 Heh. I, uh--
- 00:12:17,903 --> 00:12:22,198 Ooh! Ha, ha. I gotta tell you, that's kind of out of the blue, don't you think?
- 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,201 This is not out of the blue!
- 00:12:25,453 --> 00:12:27,579 This is smack-dab in the middle of the blue!
- 00:12:27,955 --> 00:12:29,414 Whoa!
- 00:12:30,124 --> 00:12:32,083 Relax! Take it easy, buddy!
- 00:12:32,334 --> 00:12:34,085 You don't have to tell me twice.
- 00:12:34,253 --> 00:12:37,714 God, I mean, someone will be by for my stuff.
- 00:12:42,803 --> 00:12:46,222 If you think I'm leaving you alone with my fish, you're insane!
- 00:12:47,516 --> 00:12:48,600 You want some help?
- 00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,685 No help required, chico!
- 00:12:59,403 --> 00:13:02,739 All the way to the airport, huh? You know, that's over 30 miles.
- 00:13:02,907 --> 00:13:06,242 That's gonna cost you about so bucks.
- 00:13:06,410 --> 00:13:08,661 Excuse me, that's "50" bucks.
- 00:13:09,705 --> 00:13:12,832 -What? -Five-O dollars.
- 00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:17,712 Oh. You know what it is? It's smudgy because they're fax pages.
- 00:13:17,963 --> 00:13:20,840 When I was on Days ofour Lives as Dr. Drake Ramoray...
- 00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:24,344 ...they'd send over the whole script on real paper.
- 00:13:24,512 --> 00:13:27,430 Ha, ha. That's great.
- 00:13:27,598 --> 00:13:31,684 If you wanted to expand this scene, like have the cab crash...
- 00:13:31,894 --> 00:13:33,770 ...I could attend to the victims...
- 00:13:33,979 --> 00:13:36,064 ...because ! have a background in medical acting.
- 00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:37,440 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:13:37,608 --> 00:13:39,275 Okay, listen, thanks for coming in.
- 00:13:39,443 --> 00:13:43,655 No. Uh, don't thank me for coming in. Uh, at least let me finish.
- 00:13:44,740 --> 00:13:46,324 [S!GHS]
- 00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:48,993 Uh, we could take the expressway...
- 00:13:49,161 --> 00:13:53,665 ...but, uh, this time of day you're better off taking the budge.
- 00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:59,546 You were going for bridge there, weren't you?
- 00:14:00,548 --> 00:14:01,631 I'll have a good day.
- 00:14:01,799 --> 00:14:03,091 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:08,471 Okay, question number 28.
- 00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:12,767 "Have you ever allowed a lightning-bearer to take your wind?"
- 00:14:13,561 --> 00:14:15,270 I would have to say no.
- 00:14:17,731 --> 00:14:19,524 And I would have to say, "Pah, ha."
- 00:14:20,568 --> 00:14:21,651 What?
- 00:14:21,819 --> 00:14:23,570 Do you not remember the puppet guy?
- 00:14:23,737 --> 00:14:28,741 You totally let him wash his feet in the pool of your inner power.
- 00:14:30,244 --> 00:14:31,995 And his puppet too!
- 00:14:32,162 --> 00:14:34,372 Well, at least I didn't let some guy...
- 00:14:34,623 --> 00:14:37,500 ...into the forest of my righteous truth on the first date!
- 00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:43,214 -Who? -Paul!
- 00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:44,799 Oh!
- 00:14:45,009 --> 00:14:48,177 Okay, okay, moving on, moving on. Next question.
- 00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:49,888 Okay, number 29.
- 00:14:50,139 --> 00:14:53,057 "Have you ever betrayed another goddess...
- 00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:56,227 ...for a lightning-bearer?" Okay, number 30.
- 00:14:56,395 --> 00:14:59,314 Whoa, whoa, whoa! Let's go back to 29.
- 00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:02,817 Not, uh....
- 00:15:02,985 --> 00:15:05,236 Ahem. Not to my recollection.
- 00:15:05,446 --> 00:15:06,529 [PHOEBE GASPS]
- 00:15:07,031 --> 00:15:09,073 Danny Arshack, ninth grade.
- 00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:11,868 You know the bottle was pointing at me.
- 00:15:12,036 --> 00:15:14,787 Only because you took up half the circle!
- 00:15:14,997 --> 00:15:16,581 [GASPS]
- 00:15:18,626 --> 00:15:21,210 Listen to you two. It's so sad.
- 00:15:21,378 --> 00:15:22,503 Oh!
- 00:15:22,671 --> 00:15:24,923 Looks like !'ll be going to the goddess meetings alone.
- 00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:26,466 Mm.
- 00:15:27,301 --> 00:15:29,719 Not when they find out you slept with Jason...
- 00:15:29,887 --> 00:15:32,639 ...an hour after he broke up with Monica.
- 00:15:34,224 --> 00:15:36,100 One hour?
- 00:15:36,268 --> 00:15:39,687 -You are such a leaf blower! RACHEL: Oh!
- 00:15:41,315 --> 00:15:42,857 Ugh!
- 00:15:44,902 --> 00:15:46,152 Ugh.
- 00:15:53,369 --> 00:15:55,578 Oh, hey, uh, be careful with that 3-D Last Supper.
- 00:15:55,746 --> 00:15:58,539 Judas is a little loose.
- 00:16:02,878 --> 00:16:04,796 Oh, my God! What's going on?
- 00:16:05,005 --> 00:16:06,089 [S!GHS]
- 00:16:06,256 --> 00:16:09,258 They're taking all my stuff back. I guess you were right.
- 00:16:09,426 --> 00:16:12,595 No, I wasn't right. That's what I came here to tell you.
- 00:16:13,681 --> 00:16:17,266 I was totally hung up on my own stuff the other day.
- 00:16:17,434 --> 00:16:21,187 No, listen. ! need the whole security thing, you know?
- 00:16:21,438 --> 00:16:25,775 To know where my next paycheck is coming from. But you don't need that.
- 00:16:25,943 --> 00:16:27,735 And that's amazing to me.
- 00:16:27,903 --> 00:16:30,238 I could never do what you do.
- 00:16:30,406 --> 00:16:31,489 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:16:31,657 --> 00:16:33,908 -Thanks. -You hold out for something bigger.
- 00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:36,202 I can't tell you how much respect I have...
- 00:16:36,412 --> 00:16:39,330 ...for you not going to that stupid audition.
- 00:16:39,498 --> 00:16:41,165 -I went. -Great! How did it go?
- 00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:43,710 -I didn't get it. -Good for you!
- 00:16:43,877 --> 00:16:45,128 You're living the dream!
- 00:16:45,337 --> 00:16:46,796 -Huh? -Ha, ha.
- 00:16:46,964 --> 00:16:48,840 All right, then!
- 00:16:49,049 --> 00:16:50,133 [ROSS CHUCKLES]
- 00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:51,926 -Oh, not my parrot. -What?
- 00:16:52,761 --> 00:16:54,929 JOEY: I can't watch this.
- 00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:57,640 Hey, hold on, hold on.
- 00:16:58,475 --> 00:17:01,894 How much for the, uh...? How much to save the bird?
- 00:17:02,479 --> 00:17:03,938 -Twelve hundred. -Dollars?
- 00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:06,899 You spent $1200 on a plastic bird?
- 00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:10,069 Uh, it was an impulse buy. Near the register.
- 00:17:10,612 --> 00:17:12,989 Go ahead with the bird.
- 00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:17,535 -Do you have anything for around $200? -Uh.
- 00:17:18,078 --> 00:17:19,203 The dog.
- 00:17:19,371 --> 00:17:21,706 -Huh? -Yeah.
- 00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:23,458 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:17:23,625 --> 00:17:24,792 I'll take it.
- 00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:26,711 My gift to you, man.
- 00:17:29,173 --> 00:17:30,381 Thanks, Ross!
- 00:17:30,591 --> 00:17:32,675 I really liked that bird, though.
- 00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:35,928 -But the dog! Oh! -Yeah. Right?
- 00:17:44,438 --> 00:17:45,813 Here are your cakes.
- 00:17:45,981 --> 00:17:47,315 We didn't order cake.
- 00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:50,610 No, I know. Ahem. They're from me.
- 00:17:51,487 --> 00:17:53,154 You guys, this is not good.
- 00:17:53,363 --> 00:17:55,865 We have enough trouble with guys stealing our wind...
- 00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:58,159 ...without taking it from each other.
- 00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:00,203 -You're right. RACHEL: You know?
- 00:18:01,121 --> 00:18:02,663 I love you goddesses.
- 00:18:02,831 --> 00:18:05,249 I love you.
- 00:18:05,459 --> 00:18:07,168 I don't ever want to suck your wind again.
- 00:18:07,377 --> 00:18:08,836 Oh.
- 00:18:09,004 --> 00:18:11,464 -Thank you. So are we good? -Oh. We're good.
- 00:18:11,673 --> 00:18:12,757 -We're good? -Yes.
- 00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:16,469 Okay. Let me take these back. They'll take it out of my paycheck.
- 00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:21,682 Ding-dong, the psycho's gone!
- 00:18:26,271 --> 00:18:27,939 -Are you sure this time? CHANDLER: Yes.
- 00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:30,024 I actually saw him leave.
- 00:18:30,275 --> 00:18:32,610 That guy is holding a human head.
- 00:18:33,153 --> 00:18:35,446 He's holding a human head!
- 00:18:37,908 --> 00:18:38,991 Check it out, man!
- 00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:42,328 I tore it off a mannequin in the alley behind Macy's. Ha, ha.
- 00:18:42,496 --> 00:18:43,871 There is no alley behind Macy's.
- 00:18:44,039 --> 00:18:46,541 So I got it in the junior miss department. Big diff.
- 00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:50,461 It'll make a hell of a conversation piece at our next cocktail party, huh?
- 00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:52,547 "Our next cocktail party"?
- 00:18:52,714 --> 00:18:56,717 Yeah, you know, we'll put chips in it. We'll make it a chip chick.
- 00:18:56,885 --> 00:18:58,094 [LAUGHS]
- 00:19:00,264 --> 00:19:02,390 Eddie, do you remember yesterday?
- 00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:04,684 Uh, yes, I think ! vaguely recall it.
- 00:19:04,852 --> 00:19:06,936 [EDDlE LAUGHS]
- 00:19:09,022 --> 00:19:12,900 Ahem. Do you remember talking to me yesterday?
- 00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:14,277 Uh, yes.
- 00:19:14,444 --> 00:19:16,362 [EDDlE LAUGHS]
- 00:19:19,491 --> 00:19:20,658 So, what happened?
- 00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:22,869 We took a road trip to Las Vegas!
- 00:19:23,036 --> 00:19:24,954 Oh, sweet Moses!
- 00:19:26,540 --> 00:19:29,167 So on this road trip, uh, did you win any money?
- 00:19:29,334 --> 00:19:32,587 Nah, I crapped out. But Mr. 21 here! He cleans up!
- 00:19:32,754 --> 00:19:35,089 $300! He buys me these new shoes. Sweet, huh?
- 00:19:35,632 --> 00:19:36,757 Nice.
- 00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:39,051 Uh, see you upstairs. See you, pals!
- 00:19:43,056 --> 00:19:44,974 Is anyone else starting to really like him?
- 00:19:45,142 --> 00:19:46,225 [LAUGHS]
- 00:19:56,111 --> 00:19:58,029 [MUTTERS]
- 00:20:05,746 --> 00:20:06,829 May I help you?
- 00:20:08,290 --> 00:20:11,334 Why doesn't my key work, and what's my stuff doing downstairs?
- 00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:14,378 I'm sorry. Aah.
- 00:20:15,005 --> 00:20:16,297 Have we met?
- 00:20:16,548 --> 00:20:18,799 It's Eddie, you freak! Your roommate.
- 00:20:19,843 --> 00:20:21,385 I'm sorry, !, uh...
- 00:20:22,137 --> 00:20:24,388 ...I already have a roommate.
- 00:20:26,516 --> 00:20:27,725 Hello.
- 00:20:30,979 --> 00:20:35,942 Um, he's lived here for years. I don't know what you're talking about.
- 00:20:36,109 --> 00:20:37,985 No, no. He's, uh....
- 00:20:38,654 --> 00:20:42,240 No, he moved out and ! moved in.
- 00:20:43,659 --> 00:20:45,701 Well, I think we'd remember something like that.
- 00:20:45,869 --> 00:20:47,161 [JOEY SCOFFS]
- 00:20:47,329 --> 00:20:49,455 I know I would. Ha, ha.
- 00:20:50,374 --> 00:20:52,375 That's, uh, a good point. Um....
- 00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:54,043 Okay, wow. Huh.
- 00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:56,504 I guess I got the wrong apartment.
- 00:20:58,465 --> 00:20:59,548 Look, !'m--
- 00:20:59,716 --> 00:21:02,009 -I'm terribly sorry. -Hey, no problem.
- 00:21:02,219 --> 00:21:03,386 See you.
- 00:21:09,726 --> 00:21:13,229 Goodbye, you fruit-drying psychopath.
- 00:21:14,731 --> 00:21:18,609 -You want me to help you unpack? -Nah, I'm okay. Oh, and, uh....
- 00:21:18,819 --> 00:21:22,488 Just so you know, I'm not moving back in because ! have to.
- 00:21:22,698 --> 00:21:25,408 I mean, I do have to, but....
- 00:21:25,659 --> 00:21:28,786 It's just that that place, it wasn't really....
- 00:21:29,037 --> 00:21:30,788 I mean, this is....
- 00:21:32,165 --> 00:21:33,708 Welcome home, man.
- 00:21:40,340 --> 00:21:43,009 [GlGGLES]
- 00:21:43,176 --> 00:21:45,678 - A little foos? -Absolutely!
- 00:21:48,265 --> 00:21:50,057 What happened to the foosball?
- 00:21:50,767 --> 00:21:52,184 It's a cantaloupe.
- 00:21:57,399 --> 00:22:00,234 Are we gonna bring this out every time Ross comes over?
- 00:22:00,402 --> 00:22:01,986 He paid a lot of money for it.
- 00:22:02,154 --> 00:22:03,696 [GRUNTS]
- 00:22:08,869 --> 00:22:11,037 -I'm gonna hold him a different way. -All right.
- 00:22:12,414 --> 00:22:15,958 If you hated it so much, why'd you buy it in the first place?
- 00:22:16,209 --> 00:22:20,046 Well, I had a whole ceramic-zoo thing going over there.
- 00:22:20,213 --> 00:22:22,715 But without the other ones, it looks tacky.
- 00:22:23,675 --> 00:22:27,219 Is he housetrained or will he leave little bathroom tiles all over?
- 00:22:28,138 --> 00:22:29,221 Stay.
- 00:22:30,682 --> 00:22:32,058 Uh, stay!
- 00:22:32,559 --> 00:22:34,435 Good fake dog.
- 00:22:41,943 --> 00:22:43,944 [English - US - SDH]
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