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Эпизод после Суперкубка, Часть 1
The One After the Superbowl, Part 1
Сезон: 02Серия: 12
Описание
Росс отправляется навестить Марселя в Калифорнии, но в зоопарке говорят, что обезьяна умерла. Вскоре Росс узнает, что Марсель жив и работает в рекламе. Джои получает первое письмо от поклонницы — красивой, но безумной женщины (Брук Шилдс), которая верит, что сериал «Дни нашей жизни» — это реальность, что не мешает Джои встречаться с ней. Мужчина (Крис Айзек) приглашает Фиби спеть для детей в библиотеке, но её мрачные тексты ужасают родителей. Однако детям нравятся песни за то, что они правдивы, и они приходят в кафе послушать её.
Субтитры
- 00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:11,635 ANNOUNCER: Can't get the monkey off your back?
- 00:00:12,929 --> 00:00:15,180 Then put it in your mouth...
- 00:00:15,390 --> 00:00:17,266 ...with Monkeyshine Beer!
- 00:00:20,770 --> 00:00:22,104 [MOUTHING] Wow.
- 00:00:26,609 --> 00:00:27,985 ANNOUNCER: Monkeyshine Beer.
- 00:00:28,153 --> 00:00:30,487 Because it's a jungle out there!
- 00:00:31,156 --> 00:00:33,282 That commercial always makes me so sad.
- 00:00:33,491 --> 00:00:36,702 Yeah, but then the guy opens his beer and girls run at him...
- 00:00:36,953 --> 00:00:38,912 ...so everything works out okay.
- 00:00:39,456 --> 00:00:42,332 I meant because the monkey in it reminds me of Marcel.
- 00:00:42,584 --> 00:00:43,709 PHOEBE: I can see that.
- 00:00:43,918 --> 00:00:48,505 Because they both have those big brown eyes and the little pouty chin.
- 00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:51,383 And the fact that they're both monkeys?
- 00:00:52,302 --> 00:00:54,970 I wonder if I did the right thing, giving him away.
- 00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:59,475 Ross, you had to. He was humping everything in sight.
- 00:00:59,684 --> 00:01:03,562 I mean, I have a Malibu Barbie who will no longer be wearing white to her wedding.
- 00:01:06,149 --> 00:01:08,400 Remember when he'd borrow your hat...
- 00:01:08,610 --> 00:01:12,362 ...and when you got it back, there'd be little monkey raisins in it?
- 00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:16,825 When he did it, it was funny. When I did it to my boss's hat....
- 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:21,455 All of a sudden, I had this big "attitude problem."
- 00:02:10,755 --> 00:02:11,839 Hey. Hey.
- 00:02:12,006 --> 00:02:14,675 -Check it out! Guess what I got? -Rhythm?
- 00:02:15,718 --> 00:02:17,886 No. My first fan mail!
- 00:02:18,054 --> 00:02:19,471 Check it out.
- 00:02:19,764 --> 00:02:21,473 "Dear Dr. Ramoray:
- 00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:24,810 Know that I love you and would do anything to have you."
- 00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:28,021 My gosh! "Your not-so-secret admirer, Erika Ford."
- 00:02:28,189 --> 00:02:29,398 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:02:29,566 --> 00:02:30,732 Oh, wait.
- 00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:35,404 "P.S. Enclosed, please find 14 of my eyelashes."
- 00:02:36,781 --> 00:02:39,992 You know, in Crazy World, that means you're married.
- 00:02:42,453 --> 00:02:45,873 It's not addressed to Days Of Our Lives. This came to your apartment.
- 00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:48,667 There's no stamp on it. This woman was in our building.
- 00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:50,252 Oh, my God.
- 00:02:51,004 --> 00:02:53,005 I got my very own stalker!
- 00:02:55,466 --> 00:02:56,675 -Hey, guys. CHANDLER: Hey.
- 00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:58,177 RACHEL & MONlCA: Hey. PHOEBE: Ooh.
- 00:02:58,344 --> 00:02:59,428 Where are you off to?
- 00:02:59,596 --> 00:03:02,306 There's this paleontology conference in L.A.
- 00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:06,560 So I figured I'd go and drive down to the zoo and surprise Marcel.
- 00:03:06,769 --> 00:03:10,105 I think he will be surprised. Till he realizes he's a monkey...
- 00:03:11,816 --> 00:03:14,484 ...and, uh, you know, isn't capable of that emotion.
- 00:03:16,112 --> 00:03:19,281 Oh, Phoebe? That really cute guy is here again.
- 00:03:19,490 --> 00:03:20,574 Oh? Oh.
- 00:03:20,742 --> 00:03:21,909 Okay, so everyone, ahem...
- 00:03:22,118 --> 00:03:25,454 ...pretend I'm telling you a story and it's really funny.
- 00:03:25,663 --> 00:03:27,039 So everyone just laugh. Now!
- 00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:29,458 [ALL LAUGHING]
- 00:03:29,667 --> 00:03:31,501 I know, I know! Oh.
- 00:03:31,669 --> 00:03:32,920 -Hello. -Hi.
- 00:03:33,087 --> 00:03:34,463 PHOEBE: Oh.
- 00:03:34,672 --> 00:03:35,839 I'm Rob Donan.
- 00:03:36,007 --> 00:03:37,132 Hi, Rob Donan.
- 00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:41,595 I don't know anything about music, but I think you're really great.
- 00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:44,431 Oh, wow. Ha, ha.
- 00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:48,393 Anyway, I schedule performers for children's libraries.
- 00:03:48,561 --> 00:03:53,315 And I was thinking, have you thought about playing your songs for kids?
- 00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:55,108 Oh, I would love to have kids...
- 00:03:55,276 --> 00:03:56,735 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:03:58,488 --> 00:04:02,366 ...hear me play the songs that I will write for them.
- 00:04:02,533 --> 00:04:04,076 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:06,620 What do you wanna do for dinner?
- 00:04:06,829 --> 00:04:08,830 We could stay in and cook for ourselves.
- 00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:11,250 [BOTH LAUGHlNG]
- 00:04:11,417 --> 00:04:14,044 [lNTERCOM BUZZING]
- 00:04:14,754 --> 00:04:16,922 -Hello. ERlKA [OVER SPEAKER]: It's Erika.
- 00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:18,840 Oh, my God. The stalker!
- 00:04:19,008 --> 00:04:20,259 ERlKA: Never mind. lt's open.
- 00:04:20,426 --> 00:04:22,302 Aah! Aah!
- 00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:25,347 Yes, hitting her with a frying pan is a good idea.
- 00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:29,351 We might wanna have a backup plan, though, just in case she isn't a cartoon.
- 00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:32,187 Let's get out of here!
- 00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:36,858 The one time they're not home!
- 00:04:37,026 --> 00:04:38,694 Okay. Okay.
- 00:04:39,153 --> 00:04:40,779 We'll leave. When we pass her...
- 00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:43,699 ...she won't know me, because we never met!
- 00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:47,703 That's how radio stars escape stalkers!
- 00:04:47,870 --> 00:04:49,538 [FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
- 00:04:49,706 --> 00:04:51,206 She's coming!
- 00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:56,962 [KNOCKING ON DOOR]
- 00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:58,297 ERlKA: lt's me. - Aah!
- 00:04:58,464 --> 00:05:02,092 Uh, this is it. This is how we're gonna die.
- 00:05:03,678 --> 00:05:06,054 -You ready? -Wait, wait, wait!
- 00:05:13,104 --> 00:05:14,563 Hi.
- 00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:16,690 Erika!
- 00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:27,534 LlPSON: Mr. Geller? -Yes, hi.
- 00:05:27,785 --> 00:05:30,495 Hi. Dean Lipson, zoo administrator.
- 00:05:30,663 --> 00:05:32,456 I was told you had a question.
- 00:05:32,623 --> 00:05:37,336 I, uh-- I can't find the monkey I donated last year. He's a capuchin...
- 00:05:37,503 --> 00:05:39,129 ...answers to the name Marcel?
- 00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:42,924 Ah. I'm afraid I have some bad news.
- 00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:45,594 Marcel has passed on.
- 00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:49,931 Oh, my God. What happened?
- 00:05:50,099 --> 00:05:52,726 Well, he got sick, and then he got sicker...
- 00:05:52,977 --> 00:05:54,978 ...and then he got a little better.
- 00:05:55,521 --> 00:05:57,147 But then he died.
- 00:05:59,650 --> 00:06:01,109 I can't believe this!
- 00:06:01,319 --> 00:06:06,114 I'm sorry, Mr. Geller. But you know, there's an old saying:
- 00:06:06,282 --> 00:06:08,950 "Sometimes monkeys die."
- 00:06:10,536 --> 00:06:12,954 It's not a great saying...
- 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:16,333 ...but it certainly is fitting today.
- 00:06:16,542 --> 00:06:19,461 -Someone should've called me. LlPSON: I'm sorry.
- 00:06:19,629 --> 00:06:22,089 Look, I know this can't bring him back...
- 00:06:22,256 --> 00:06:24,716 ...but here, it's just a gesture.
- 00:06:26,594 --> 00:06:27,844 Zoo dollars?
- 00:06:28,012 --> 00:06:32,349 Yes, and come see the bird show at 4. The macaws wear hats.
- 00:06:33,851 --> 00:06:37,020 Well, it's a lot cuter if your monkey hasn't just died.
- 00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:44,069 CHlLDREN [IN UNlSON]: Ooh.
- 00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:45,779 I know.
- 00:06:47,323 --> 00:06:49,950 I can't believe Joey's having lunch with his stalker.
- 00:06:50,118 --> 00:06:51,701 What is she like?
- 00:06:51,869 --> 00:06:54,371 -Well, you remember Kathy Bates in Misery? MONICA: Mm-hm.
- 00:06:54,539 --> 00:06:57,707 Well, she looks the exact opposite of that.
- 00:06:58,793 --> 00:06:59,918 And she's not crazy?
- 00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:02,712 Oh, no, no. She's a total wack job.
- 00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:07,676 Yeah. She thinks that Joey is actually Dr. Drake Ramoray.
- 00:07:07,844 --> 00:07:09,261 Oh, my God!
- 00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:11,555 Oh. And he's going out with her?
- 00:07:11,764 --> 00:07:13,432 He cannot pursue this.
- 00:07:13,599 --> 00:07:17,269 Just because this woman thinks she can see Joey through the magical box...
- 00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:20,021 ...in her living room doesn't mean she's not a person.
- 00:07:20,189 --> 00:07:23,650 Does she not deserve happiness? Does she not deserve love?
- 00:07:24,694 --> 00:07:28,947 What are you looking at me for? He's the one who wants to boff the maniac.
- 00:07:30,032 --> 00:07:31,116 Are you okay?
- 00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:33,452 No, uh-uh. I'm just nervous.
- 00:07:33,619 --> 00:07:36,955 Maybe if I just picture them all in their underwear....
- 00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:40,083 That's not a good idea. That's the reason the last guy got fired.
- 00:07:40,251 --> 00:07:41,710 Oh.
- 00:07:44,046 --> 00:07:45,130 Yeah.
- 00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:47,591 I'm used to playing for grownups.
- 00:07:47,758 --> 00:07:51,303 Grownups drink their coffee and do their grownup thing, you know.
- 00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:52,596 And kids...
- 00:07:52,763 --> 00:07:54,055 ...listen.
- 00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:58,059 It's just a huge responsibility.
- 00:07:58,227 --> 00:07:59,394 What?
- 00:07:59,562 --> 00:08:01,480 Are you gonna kiss me?
- 00:08:02,773 --> 00:08:03,940 I was thinking about it.
- 00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:06,485 Okay.
- 00:08:08,946 --> 00:08:11,615 Yeah, okay. Alrighty. Let's play some tunes!
- 00:08:14,660 --> 00:08:15,952 Hi, everybody. I'm Phoebe.
- 00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:18,497 ALL [lN UNISON]: Hi, Phoebe!
- 00:08:18,706 --> 00:08:20,999 Ha, ha. Okay. Um...
- 00:08:21,292 --> 00:08:25,212 ...I'm gonna play, um, some songs about grandparents, okay?
- 00:08:25,379 --> 00:08:26,880 [CLEARS THROAT THEN STRUMS GUITAR]
- 00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:30,926 [SlNGlNG] Now Grandma's a person who everyone likes
- 00:08:31,093 --> 00:08:34,179 She bought you a train And a bright shiny bike
- 00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:37,432 But lately she hasn't Been coming to dinner
- 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:40,936 And last time you saw her She looked so much thinner
- 00:08:41,979 --> 00:08:45,482 Now your mom and your dad said She moved to Peru
- 00:08:45,650 --> 00:08:48,985 But the truth is she died And someday you will too
- 00:08:49,153 --> 00:08:58,161 La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la La-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la-la
- 00:08:59,997 --> 00:09:02,916 -Oh, Drake, isn't it amazing? -Yeah, it is.
- 00:09:03,084 --> 00:09:04,668 [BOTH CHUCKLE]
- 00:09:04,877 --> 00:09:06,253 What?
- 00:09:07,004 --> 00:09:09,714 Well, here we sit, devil-may-care...
- 00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:14,302 ...and just a little while ago you were reattaching Simone's spinal cord.
- 00:09:14,470 --> 00:09:15,804 Yeah, that was a tricky one.
- 00:09:15,972 --> 00:09:17,389 [JOEY CHUCKLES]
- 00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:18,723 In reality...
- 00:09:18,891 --> 00:09:23,061 ...that operation takes over 1 0 hours, but they only showed it for two minutes.
- 00:09:23,771 --> 00:09:24,854 Who's "they"?
- 00:09:25,773 --> 00:09:27,148 [CHUCKLlNG]
- 00:09:27,316 --> 00:09:28,400 No one.
- 00:09:30,278 --> 00:09:34,656 Oh, Drake, you are so talented. Let me see those hands.
- 00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:37,284 -Oh, these hands, these beautiful hands. -Ha, ha.
- 00:09:37,493 --> 00:09:40,245 Ha, ha. Oh, I could just eat them.
- 00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:41,746 -But I won't. JOEY: Ha, ha.
- 00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:44,124 Good. Otherwise my watch would fall off.
- 00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:46,876 [LAUGHS MANlACALLY]
- 00:09:50,798 --> 00:09:52,007 No, seriously.
- 00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:54,676 These hands...
- 00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:57,429 ...these miracle, magical, life-giving hands.
- 00:09:57,680 --> 00:10:01,725 Oh, just to be near them, touch them, maybe even lick one?
- 00:10:02,893 --> 00:10:05,270 -All right. Ha, ha. Just one. -Ha-ha-ha.
- 00:10:09,525 --> 00:10:10,692 [GRUNTS]
- 00:10:13,070 --> 00:10:14,154 Wow.
- 00:10:14,655 --> 00:10:15,739 You're good at that.
- 00:10:15,906 --> 00:10:16,906 [GlGGLES]
- 00:10:17,074 --> 00:10:18,158 [PLATES BREAK]
- 00:10:18,367 --> 00:10:20,327 MAN: Oh, my God! Someone! He's choking!
- 00:10:20,494 --> 00:10:22,579 Is anyone here a doctor?
- 00:10:22,747 --> 00:10:23,830 ERlKA: Oh, yes.
- 00:10:23,998 --> 00:10:25,832 Yes, the best doctor in Salem!
- 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,126 Dr. Drake Ramoray!
- 00:10:43,267 --> 00:10:47,604 Meet me in the nocturnal house in 1 5 minutes.
- 00:10:49,565 --> 00:10:54,903 Uh, hey, look. I don't really enjoy being with other men that way.
- 00:10:55,821 --> 00:10:57,947 But, um, zoo dollars?
- 00:10:59,116 --> 00:11:01,576 It's about your monkey.
- 00:11:01,911 --> 00:11:03,745 It's alive.
- 00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:11,127 I don't understand. Why didn't you help that man?
- 00:11:11,295 --> 00:11:14,631 Uh, because, uh, I'm a neurosurgeon...
- 00:11:14,799 --> 00:11:18,718 ...and that was clearly a case of, uh, uh...
- 00:11:18,886 --> 00:11:20,095 ..."foodal chokage."
- 00:11:21,764 --> 00:11:22,847 You know.
- 00:11:25,059 --> 00:11:28,061 -I gotta tell you something-- -No, no, no.
- 00:11:28,229 --> 00:11:30,105 You don't have to tell me anything.
- 00:11:30,272 --> 00:11:32,649 You don't have to explain yourself to me. Oh!
- 00:11:32,858 --> 00:11:35,944 Who am I to question the great Dr. Drake Ramoray?
- 00:11:36,112 --> 00:11:38,196 -That's-- -I should be happy to be near you.
- 00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:39,489 Hey, I--
- 00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:44,911 "Hey" what?
- 00:11:45,079 --> 00:11:47,497 That's it. Just hey!
- 00:11:48,207 --> 00:11:50,625 Like at the end of a dance. Hey!
- 00:11:53,295 --> 00:11:55,255 Hey. Ha-ha-ha.
- 00:11:55,423 --> 00:11:57,340 Hey.
- 00:11:58,342 --> 00:12:00,218 [SlNGlNG] There'll be times when you get older
- 00:12:00,386 --> 00:12:02,053 when you'll want to sleep with people
- 00:12:02,221 --> 00:12:05,515 Just to make them like you But don't
- 00:12:06,767 --> 00:12:07,851 'Cause
- 00:12:08,018 --> 00:12:11,479 That's another thing That you don't wanna do
- 00:12:11,647 --> 00:12:12,647 Everybody!
- 00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:17,694 That's another thing That you don't wanna do
- 00:12:17,862 --> 00:12:18,945 [ALL APPLAUDlNG]
- 00:12:19,113 --> 00:12:21,030 -Excellent! -Very informative!
- 00:12:21,198 --> 00:12:24,033 Not at all inappropriate!
- 00:12:24,201 --> 00:12:28,163 Thank you for coming, everybody. There are cookies in the back.
- 00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:31,082 DONAN: That was great.
- 00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:32,500 The kids loved you.
- 00:12:32,668 --> 00:12:33,752 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:12:33,919 --> 00:12:36,254 Yay! I rock!
- 00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:39,340 And you know why? Because you told the truth.
- 00:12:39,508 --> 00:12:41,676 Nobody ever tells kids the truth.
- 00:12:42,094 --> 00:12:43,553 You were incredible!
- 00:12:43,971 --> 00:12:45,889 Ha, ha. But...?
- 00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:49,809 -How did you know there was a "but"? -I sense these things.
- 00:12:49,977 --> 00:12:52,145 It was either "but" or "butter."
- 00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:56,357 The thing is, I think some of the parents...
- 00:12:56,525 --> 00:12:58,234 ...they were hoping that...
- 00:12:58,402 --> 00:13:01,362 ...you'd play more songs about barnyard animals.
- 00:13:01,530 --> 00:13:02,822 I can do that.
- 00:13:02,990 --> 00:13:04,115 -Really? -Yeah.
- 00:13:04,283 --> 00:13:07,577 -Because that would be fantastic. -Oh.
- 00:13:08,204 --> 00:13:10,705 What? You wanna kiss me?
- 00:13:10,873 --> 00:13:12,582 I'm thinking about it.
- 00:13:14,919 --> 00:13:16,586 JANlTOR: Ah, the bat.
- 00:13:17,171 --> 00:13:19,297 Ambassador of darkness.
- 00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:23,593 Flitting out of his cave like a winged messenger.
- 00:13:23,761 --> 00:13:27,263 Sightless specter of the macabre.
- 00:13:28,432 --> 00:13:29,766 Buddy, my monkey?
- 00:13:30,518 --> 00:13:31,935 Oh, yeah, right.
- 00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:34,896 There was a break-in...
- 00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:37,857 ...a few months back. Inside job.
- 00:13:38,025 --> 00:13:39,359 Your monkey was taken.
- 00:13:39,568 --> 00:13:41,945 Oh, my God. The zoo told me that my monkey was dead.
- 00:13:42,154 --> 00:13:44,113 Pfft. The zoo!
- 00:13:44,281 --> 00:13:46,825 You believe everything the zoo tells you?
- 00:13:49,286 --> 00:13:52,831 Uh, that's the only thing the zoo's ever told me.
- 00:13:52,998 --> 00:13:56,376 Of course they'll say he's dead. They don't want the bad publicity.
- 00:13:56,544 --> 00:13:58,002 It's all a great big cover-up.
- 00:13:58,170 --> 00:14:02,090 Do you have any idea how high up this thing goes?
- 00:14:02,299 --> 00:14:04,008 That guy Lipson?
- 00:14:04,468 --> 00:14:06,094 Lipson knows?
- 00:14:06,762 --> 00:14:07,846 Hmm.
- 00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:09,639 Lipson knows, huh?
- 00:14:09,807 --> 00:14:12,058 Ah, hello, Mr. Possum.
- 00:14:12,268 --> 00:14:16,020 Enigma of the trees, upside-down denizen of the night.
- 00:14:16,188 --> 00:14:19,315 -Taunting gravity-- -Buddy, my monkey. My monkey?
- 00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:23,027 Word on the street--
- 00:14:23,195 --> 00:14:27,532 Well, when I say "street," I mean those little pretend streets here at the zoo.
- 00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:29,117 Of course.
- 00:14:30,911 --> 00:14:33,454 Your monkey found a new career...
- 00:14:33,622 --> 00:14:37,041 ...in the entertainment field. That's all I know.
- 00:14:37,209 --> 00:14:38,293 [SCOFFS]
- 00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:39,919 This is unbelievable!
- 00:14:40,087 --> 00:14:45,049 So, what is this information worth to you, my friend?
- 00:14:45,759 --> 00:14:48,595 Are you trying to get me to bribe you?
- 00:14:48,762 --> 00:14:50,305 Maybe.
- 00:14:51,473 --> 00:14:54,183 But you already told me everything.
- 00:15:01,942 --> 00:15:05,612 Check it out. He actually is the Monkeyshine monkey.
- 00:15:05,779 --> 00:15:07,822 RACHEL: Oh, wow. So, what are you gonna do?
- 00:15:07,990 --> 00:15:11,326 I'm gonna call the beer company and try to find out where he is.
- 00:15:11,493 --> 00:15:14,454 That's what I did when I lost my Clydesdales.
- 00:15:15,456 --> 00:15:16,998 Okay, hi again!
- 00:15:17,166 --> 00:15:19,876 ALL [lN UNISON]: Hi, Phoebe!
- 00:15:20,794 --> 00:15:24,672 Today, we're gonna start with some songs about barnyard animals.
- 00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:26,382 [CHUCKLES THEN STRUMS GUITAR]
- 00:15:26,592 --> 00:15:28,635 [SlNGlNG] Oh, the cow in the meadow goes "moo"
- 00:15:28,802 --> 00:15:30,845 Oh, the cow in the meadow goes "moo"
- 00:15:31,013 --> 00:15:33,514 Then the farmer hits him on the head And grinds him up
- 00:15:33,682 --> 00:15:35,808 And that's how we get hamburgers
- 00:15:38,729 --> 00:15:42,065 Now chickens
- 00:15:43,359 --> 00:15:45,401 You're the only one who can save her, Drake!
- 00:15:45,653 --> 00:15:48,321 Damn it! !'m a doctor, I'm not God!
- 00:15:48,489 --> 00:15:50,615 Well, there goes my whole belief system.
- 00:15:51,575 --> 00:15:52,742 [KNOCKING ON DOOR]
- 00:15:52,910 --> 00:15:54,160 ERlKA: It's Erika.
- 00:15:54,328 --> 00:15:55,870 Quick! Quick. Shut off the TV.
- 00:15:56,038 --> 00:15:57,956 Wait, I wanna see what happens!
- 00:15:58,123 --> 00:16:00,500 Uh, I get Leslie out of the coma then we make out.
- 00:16:00,668 --> 00:16:02,961 How can that be? You were just kissing Sabrina.
- 00:16:03,128 --> 00:16:07,090 Rachel, it's a world where Joey is a neurosurgeon.
- 00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:10,343 [S!GHS]
- 00:16:10,511 --> 00:16:11,928 Hey, Erika. Come in.
- 00:16:12,137 --> 00:16:15,390 How did you get here so fast? I just saw you in Salem.
- 00:16:15,683 --> 00:16:18,726 Right, they, uh, choppered me in. Ha, ha.
- 00:16:18,894 --> 00:16:20,353 What's up?
- 00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:22,605 ERlKA: Oh, you're having a little party too.
- 00:16:22,773 --> 00:16:25,149 -Is she here, huh, huh? -Who?
- 00:16:25,317 --> 00:16:27,485 Sabrina. I know about you two!
- 00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:30,822 I saw you today, kissing in the doctor's lounge.
- 00:16:32,491 --> 00:16:34,075 It's not what you think. That was--
- 00:16:34,243 --> 00:16:36,327 You told me I was the only one!
- 00:16:39,164 --> 00:16:40,623 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:16:40,791 --> 00:16:42,208 All right, look. That's it.
- 00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:44,419 We shouldn't see each other anymore.
- 00:16:44,586 --> 00:16:46,546 I should have told you a long time ago...
- 00:16:46,714 --> 00:16:49,382 ...but I am not Drake Ramoray, okay?
- 00:16:49,550 --> 00:16:53,302 I'm not even a doctor. I'm an actor. I just pretend to be a doctor.
- 00:16:53,470 --> 00:16:56,723 Oh, my God. Do the people at the hospital know about this?
- 00:16:59,727 --> 00:17:02,395 Ha, ha. Somebody wanna help me out here?
- 00:17:02,563 --> 00:17:04,897 Oh, I know! I know!
- 00:17:05,441 --> 00:17:06,733 Where am I?
- 00:17:06,984 --> 00:17:08,609 University Hospital...
- 00:17:08,777 --> 00:17:11,446 ...the same place you've been for the last 1 8 years.
- 00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:14,615 How can you be here and there?
- 00:17:14,783 --> 00:17:16,909 Ha, ha. Because it's a television show.
- 00:17:17,745 --> 00:17:19,370 Drake, what are you getting at?
- 00:17:21,540 --> 00:17:23,207 I'm not Drake!
- 00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:26,294 That's right. He's not Drake. He's...
- 00:17:26,962 --> 00:17:29,255 ...Hans Ramoray, Drake's evil twin!
- 00:17:30,799 --> 00:17:32,383 [SPEAK!NG INDlST!NCTLY]
- 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:35,887 Is this true?
- 00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:39,223 Yes! Yes, it is true.
- 00:17:39,391 --> 00:17:41,225 And I know this...
- 00:17:41,393 --> 00:17:44,812 ...because he pretended to be Drake to sleep with me!
- 00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:53,863 And then he told me he would run away with me.
- 00:17:54,031 --> 00:17:55,448 And he didn't!
- 00:17:57,493 --> 00:17:59,827 And you left the toilet seat up, you bastard!
- 00:18:05,959 --> 00:18:07,335 Is all this true?
- 00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:14,425 Yes, !'m afraid it is.
- 00:18:14,593 --> 00:18:16,761 You deserve much better than me, Erika.
- 00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:21,474 You deserve to be with the real Drake. He's the one you fell in love with.
- 00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:23,935 Go to Salem. Find him!
- 00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:26,145 He's the guy for you.
- 00:18:26,313 --> 00:18:27,897 Oh, Hans.
- 00:18:30,859 --> 00:18:31,943 Hans?
- 00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:33,903 Hans!
- 00:18:34,696 --> 00:18:36,697 Yo, evil twin!
- 00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:39,450 Right. Uh, goodbye, Erika.
- 00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,203 Good luck in Salem.
- 00:18:42,371 --> 00:18:43,955 [ERIKA SlGHS]
- 00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:45,206 Take care.
- 00:18:46,208 --> 00:18:48,000 I'll never forget you, Hans.
- 00:18:52,756 --> 00:18:55,007 Ha, ha. All right. The people who threw the water!
- 00:18:55,175 --> 00:18:56,717 Helping you out!
- 00:18:56,927 --> 00:19:00,054 Fired? Why?
- 00:19:00,222 --> 00:19:03,307 The library board has had a lot of complaints from parents...
- 00:19:03,475 --> 00:19:06,435 -...about some of the stuff in your songs. -I can't believe it!
- 00:19:06,603 --> 00:19:10,606 Did you tell your board about how the kids want to hear the truth?
- 00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:13,442 No.
- 00:19:15,737 --> 00:19:16,946 I see.
- 00:19:17,114 --> 00:19:21,075 Maybe if you just played some regular kiddie songs?
- 00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:22,577 No.
- 00:19:22,744 --> 00:19:24,704 What do you want me to be? Like some...
- 00:19:24,872 --> 00:19:28,916 ...stupid, big, like, purple dinosaur?
- 00:19:29,376 --> 00:19:30,918 You don't have to be Barney.
- 00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:33,171 -Who's Barney? -Eh--
- 00:19:37,968 --> 00:19:41,554 Well, I tracked down Marcel and get this: He's healthy, he's happy...
- 00:19:41,763 --> 00:19:45,766 ...and he's here in New York filming Outbreak 2: The Virus Takes Manhattan.
- 00:19:45,934 --> 00:19:47,143 BOTH: You're kidding!
- 00:19:47,311 --> 00:19:49,353 -This is amazing. -I know.
- 00:19:49,521 --> 00:19:52,982 I finally get a part on TV, and the monkey's making movies.
- 00:19:54,818 --> 00:19:56,152 Okay. Rachel, !'m ready.
- 00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:57,403 Okay.
- 00:20:00,741 --> 00:20:04,285 Excuse me. ls this where the singing lady is who tells the truth?
- 00:20:05,078 --> 00:20:07,455 Um, yeah, I guess that's me.
- 00:20:07,623 --> 00:20:08,915 [GASPS]
- 00:20:09,124 --> 00:20:10,291 She's here!
- 00:20:10,459 --> 00:20:11,584 [WH!STLES]
- 00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:21,594 [S!NGlNG] Sometimes men love women
- 00:20:21,762 --> 00:20:24,430 And sometimes men love men
- 00:20:24,598 --> 00:20:27,058 And then there are bisexuals
- 00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:30,311 Though some just say They're kidding themselves
- 00:20:31,855 --> 00:20:34,607 La-la-la-la La-la-la-la-la-la-la
- 00:20:34,775 --> 00:20:37,777 La-la-la-la La-la-la-la-la, la-la
- 00:20:40,489 --> 00:20:43,032 This is exciting. I haven't seen my monkey in a year.
- 00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:45,701 What, you never look down in the shower?
- 00:20:46,536 --> 00:20:50,665 Oh, please. !'m not allowed to make one joke in the "monkey is penis" genre?
- 00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:52,500 SECURITY GUARD: Back up, please.
- 00:20:52,668 --> 00:20:54,210 Back up. Come on, come on.
- 00:20:54,378 --> 00:20:57,004 Excuse me. Uh, where can we find the monkey?
- 00:20:57,172 --> 00:20:58,673 I'm sorry. !t's a closed set.
- 00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:01,884 I'm sorry, you don't understand. I'm a friend of his.
- 00:21:02,052 --> 00:21:04,387 We, uh, used to live together.
- 00:21:04,554 --> 00:21:07,807 Yeah. And I have a timeshare in the Poconos with Flipper.
- 00:21:07,975 --> 00:21:09,850 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:21:10,727 --> 00:21:11,811 MONICA: Ross, there he is!
- 00:21:12,396 --> 00:21:14,188 Hey! Hey, buddy!
- 00:21:14,356 --> 00:21:16,983 Marcel! Marcel!
- 00:21:23,490 --> 00:21:29,829 [singing] In the jungle, the mighty jungle The lion sleeps tonight
- 00:21:32,833 --> 00:21:39,630 In the jungle, the mighty jungle The lion sleeps tonight
- 00:21:40,257 --> 00:21:42,216 [ALL SCATTING]
- 00:21:45,679 --> 00:21:47,722 [MARCEL SQUEAKlNG]
- 00:21:53,103 --> 00:21:54,145 [GlBBERlNG]
- 00:22:07,326 --> 00:22:10,619 [S!NGlNG] They won't take you to the vet
- 00:22:10,829 --> 00:22:14,332 You're obviously not Their favorite pet
- 00:22:14,624 --> 00:22:18,169 -Smelly cat, smelly cat -Smelly cat, smelly cat
- 00:22:18,462 --> 00:22:21,630 -It's not your fault -It's not your fault
- 00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:26,218 No
- 00:22:26,678 --> 00:22:28,346 -Ha-ha-ha. !'m sorry. -What?
- 00:22:28,722 --> 00:22:29,805 What's wrong with that?
- 00:22:30,140 --> 00:22:34,226 Um, ahem, I think you might wanna, like, pick a more masculine note. Heh.
- 00:22:39,733 --> 00:22:41,734 [English - US - SDH]
Скриншоты
