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Эпизод с Рассом
The One with Russ
Сезон: 02Серия: 10
Описание
Моника снова сходится с Фан Бобби, у которого, как замечают другие друзья, проблемы с алкоголем. Моника убеждает его бросить пить, но вскоре обнаруживает, что он больше не веселый. Джои получает роль доктора Дрейка Раморея, нейрохирурга, в сериале «Дни нашей жизни», после того как отказался переспать с девушкой, предлагавшей ему второстепенную роль; затем она предлагает ему главную роль Раморея, ради которой он и переспал с ней. Рейчел встречается с Рассом, который поразительно похож на Росса (обе роли исполняет Дэвид Швиммер). Наконец поняв, что Расс — двойник Росса, Рейчел бросает его. В конце Расс и Джули (Лорен Том) встречаются и влюбляются с первого взгляда.
Субтитры
- 00:00:06,297 --> 00:00:07,381 Joey, would you slow down?
- 00:00:07,549 --> 00:00:10,259 They're not gonna be sold out of papers at 1 :00 in the morning.
- 00:00:10,468 --> 00:00:13,053 I'm excited. I've never gotten reviewed before.
- 00:00:13,263 --> 00:00:16,807 You were so amazing as the king. I'm really impressed. I was.
- 00:00:17,058 --> 00:00:18,308 PHOEBE: But you know what?
- 00:00:18,518 --> 00:00:21,020 You might wanna consider wearing underwear next time.
- 00:00:21,563 --> 00:00:24,940 Because when you sat on your throne, you could kind of see your...
- 00:00:25,191 --> 00:00:26,775 ...royal subjects.
- 00:00:27,986 --> 00:00:29,695 Here it is. Here it is.
- 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:33,866 "The only thing worse than the mindless adolescent direction...
- 00:00:34,075 --> 00:00:38,871 ...was Joseph Tribbiani's disturbingly unskilled portrayal of the king."
- 00:00:39,372 --> 00:00:41,582 Okay, look. That is one guy's opinion.
- 00:00:41,833 --> 00:00:44,460 -All right? Pheebs, read yours. -Okay.
- 00:00:44,669 --> 00:00:48,297 "The only thing worse than the mindless, adolescent direction--"
- 00:00:48,506 --> 00:00:50,549 Does anybody have one from a different paper?
- 00:00:52,093 --> 00:00:53,302 Ross, read yours.
- 00:00:53,970 --> 00:00:55,345 I don't want to.
- 00:00:56,973 --> 00:01:00,350 Joey, honey, they don't know what they're talking about.
- 00:01:00,810 --> 00:01:01,852 Maybe they do.
- 00:01:02,103 --> 00:01:05,064 I've been doing this 1 0 years and I haven't gotten anywhere.
- 00:01:05,231 --> 00:01:06,273 There's gotta be a reason.
- 00:01:06,441 --> 00:01:08,734 Come on, man, you're just, uh, paying your dues.
- 00:01:08,943 --> 00:01:11,111 No, no, no. It's too hard.
- 00:01:11,321 --> 00:01:13,238 It's not worth it. I quit.
- 00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:14,698 RACHEL: What? ROSS: That's crazy.
- 00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:17,284 Wait, wait one minute. Wait a minute.
- 00:01:17,535 --> 00:01:20,245 I believe this will change your mind.
- 00:01:20,455 --> 00:01:25,709 "ln a mediocre play, Joseph Tribbiani was able to achieve brilliant new levels of--"
- 00:01:25,877 --> 00:01:27,544 Continued on page 1 53.
- 00:01:28,338 --> 00:01:29,546 "--sucking."
- 00:02:17,428 --> 00:02:19,429 When I was little, I wanted to be a veterinarian.
- 00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:23,016 But then I found out you have to put your hands into cows and stuff.
- 00:02:25,353 --> 00:02:26,645 Hi.
- 00:02:28,356 --> 00:02:29,398 PHOEBE: Are you okay?
- 00:02:29,649 --> 00:02:32,276 Yeah, just a tough day at work, you know?
- 00:02:32,485 --> 00:02:34,778 Stegosaurus fell over, trapped a kid.
- 00:02:37,657 --> 00:02:40,450 I know this jacket. This is Fun Bobby's jacket.
- 00:02:40,660 --> 00:02:42,786 Where is he? What? He's here, isn't he?
- 00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:44,788 -Maybe. -Don't toy with me.
- 00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:47,958 -Geller! -Hey, Fun Bobby.
- 00:02:48,209 --> 00:02:50,043 Whoa, hey. You been working out?
- 00:02:50,253 --> 00:02:51,295 Not at all.
- 00:02:51,546 --> 00:02:53,005 I love this guy.
- 00:02:54,424 --> 00:02:56,842 I was so psyched to hear you're back with my sister.
- 00:02:57,051 --> 00:02:59,178 -You and me both. -So, what'd I miss? Come on.
- 00:02:59,387 --> 00:03:01,722 Oh. We were trying to make Joey feel better.
- 00:03:02,473 --> 00:03:05,726 -Hey, do you need me to pick you up? -No, I'm all right, man, really.
- 00:03:05,935 --> 00:03:07,311 No, I'm picking you up.
- 00:03:07,562 --> 00:03:09,813 Hey, no, seriously. I don't need you to--
- 00:03:10,690 --> 00:03:12,274 [JOEY LAUGHS]
- 00:03:12,525 --> 00:03:14,818 -All right, it still works. -Okay.
- 00:03:14,986 --> 00:03:18,363 Now, before I go, does anybody else need to be picked up?
- 00:03:18,531 --> 00:03:19,990 I'm still gonna go.
- 00:03:20,909 --> 00:03:23,577 -Okay, I'll see you later, babe. BOBBY: Ah.
- 00:03:24,370 --> 00:03:28,165 Public display of affection coming up. You can avert your eyes.
- 00:03:28,499 --> 00:03:30,083 Mm.
- 00:03:35,506 --> 00:03:37,382 -See you. ALL: Bye.
- 00:03:38,009 --> 00:03:39,593 Fun Bobby is so great.
- 00:03:39,802 --> 00:03:40,928 Oh, isn't he?
- 00:03:41,179 --> 00:03:45,849 I really think this time it may work with him. I mean, he makes me feel so good.
- 00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:49,394 And I've been feeling so lousy, you know, no job, no boyfriend.
- 00:03:49,604 --> 00:03:51,855 Well, at least my cup is half full.
- 00:03:52,607 --> 00:03:54,691 Half full of love.
- 00:03:57,195 --> 00:04:00,948 And for our two-week anniversary, he's gonna take me to his cousin's cabin.
- 00:04:01,157 --> 00:04:03,116 Cabin of love.
- 00:04:05,286 --> 00:04:07,579 We went through a lot of wine tonight, you guys.
- 00:04:07,830 --> 00:04:10,290 -Really? I only had two glasses. -I just had a glass.
- 00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:12,459 -Two. -I had one glass.
- 00:04:12,627 --> 00:04:14,211 I had about a mug full in this lovely...
- 00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:17,381 ..."l got boned at the Museum of Natural History" mug.
- 00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:21,802 Okay, so that's, what? Two bottles.
- 00:04:22,053 --> 00:04:24,471 And yet somehow we went through five?
- 00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,312 CHANDLER: Whoa.
- 00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:34,773 Oh.
- 00:04:37,235 --> 00:04:39,861 So what? So he drank a lot tonight.
- 00:04:40,029 --> 00:04:41,989 Yeah, but, you know, now that I think about it...
- 00:04:42,156 --> 00:04:46,326 ...I don't think I've ever seen Fun Bobby without a drink in his hand.
- 00:04:46,786 --> 00:04:48,620 PHOEBE: Yeah. Ooh, ooh, yeah, you know?
- 00:04:48,788 --> 00:04:51,748 Did you notice how he always starts his stories with, um:
- 00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:55,294 "Okay, I was so wasted," or, "Oh, we were so bombed."
- 00:04:55,461 --> 00:04:59,840 Or, um, "So I wake up and I'm in this Dumpster in Connecticut."
- 00:05:02,010 --> 00:05:04,761 Monica, have you ever been with him when he wasn't drinking?
- 00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:08,682 Well, we just happen to go to a lot of places where you might drink.
- 00:05:08,891 --> 00:05:12,102 I mean, how do you go to a wine-tasting without having a drink?
- 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:14,938 Or to a club, or to the...
- 00:05:15,231 --> 00:05:16,440 ...zoo.
- 00:05:21,404 --> 00:05:23,822 Rach, does this have nonfat milk?
- 00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:26,325 Um, I don't know, why don't you taste it?
- 00:05:28,369 --> 00:05:29,995 Mm. No.
- 00:05:30,246 --> 00:05:32,122 Oh, well, too late, you already had some.
- 00:05:35,585 --> 00:05:38,837 What do you say we make these, uh, coffees lrish?
- 00:05:41,883 --> 00:05:43,592 Um, cake.
- 00:05:44,969 --> 00:05:47,554 Yeah, we're gonna-- We're gonna get some cake.
- 00:05:50,058 --> 00:05:54,144 You know, it seems like you've been making an awful lot of stuff lrish lately.
- 00:05:54,395 --> 00:05:58,732 I would make them Belgian, but the waffles are hard to get into that flask.
- 00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:00,650 Bobby.
- 00:06:00,818 --> 00:06:01,860 Yeah, okay.
- 00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:05,989 Look, maybe this is none of my business, or maybe it is, I don't know.
- 00:06:06,157 --> 00:06:09,034 But, um, I'm kind of worried about you.
- 00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:13,705 Okay, look, this isn't the first time somebody said something to me about this.
- 00:06:13,873 --> 00:06:18,377 But, I don't know, I always made excuses, like "I'm just a social drinker."
- 00:06:18,628 --> 00:06:21,088 Or "Hey, come on, it's Flag Day."
- 00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:25,008 So, what are you saying now?
- 00:06:26,552 --> 00:06:28,387 I guess I'm saying...
- 00:06:28,638 --> 00:06:30,013 ...I'll try and quit.
- 00:06:30,598 --> 00:06:32,391 I kind of like that you worry about me.
- 00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:38,021 So, what's going on?
- 00:06:38,439 --> 00:06:40,565 I am gonna try and quit drinking.
- 00:06:40,775 --> 00:06:42,359 Oh. Why?
- 00:06:46,155 --> 00:06:47,197 -Hey. -Hey.
- 00:06:47,448 --> 00:06:49,116 MONICA: Hey. PHOEBE: Hey.
- 00:06:49,492 --> 00:06:50,951 Guess who's back in show business.
- 00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:53,286 Ooh, ooh. Lorne Greene?
- 00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:58,166 No, Pheebs. You know why? Because he's dead.
- 00:06:58,418 --> 00:06:59,626 Oh, no.
- 00:07:01,796 --> 00:07:04,047 Okay, I guess this is gonna seem bittersweet now...
- 00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:05,841 ...but Joey, that's who.
- 00:07:06,008 --> 00:07:07,509 PHOEBE: Oh, yay! RACHEL: Really?
- 00:07:07,677 --> 00:07:10,637 My agent just called me with an audition for Days of our Lives.
- 00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:13,181 Kick ass.
- 00:07:13,641 --> 00:07:17,060 We have to celebrate. We should do a soap opera theme.
- 00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:20,730 Hey, yeah. We could all sleep together, and then one of us could get amnesia.
- 00:07:24,944 --> 00:07:27,654 Rach, what time do you get off? We're all gonna do something tonight.
- 00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:32,242 Uh, well, actually, I'm already done. Ahem. But I kind of got plans.
- 00:07:32,410 --> 00:07:33,452 [MONlCA GASPS]
- 00:07:33,619 --> 00:07:34,911 You have other friends?
- 00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:38,915 Yeah, l, uh-- I have a date.
- 00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:41,126 -What? -With a man?
- 00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:44,754 What? What is so strange about me having a date?
- 00:07:44,964 --> 00:07:46,173 What about Ross?
- 00:07:46,382 --> 00:07:48,884 Are you still mad at him because he made that list about--?
- 00:07:49,093 --> 00:07:51,511 No, no, I'm not mad at him.
- 00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:54,306 I'm not really anything at him anymore.
- 00:07:54,557 --> 00:07:56,975 -What are you talking about? -I don't know.
- 00:07:58,519 --> 00:08:02,272 Whatever I was feeling, I'm...not.
- 00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,107 But you guys came so close.
- 00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:07,402 Oh, I know. I'm sorry, you guys. You're gonna have to get used to the fact...
- 00:08:07,612 --> 00:08:09,696 ...that I will not be dating Ross.
- 00:08:11,699 --> 00:08:14,117 Here he is. Hi.
- 00:08:14,368 --> 00:08:16,620 Guys, this is Russ.
- 00:08:17,371 --> 00:08:18,580 Hi.
- 00:08:30,676 --> 00:08:33,970 No, no, no. I'm not saying you're not talented. You're very talented.
- 00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:38,517 It's just that with the bird dead and all, there's very little act left.
- 00:08:38,684 --> 00:08:42,562 Oh, honey, give me a break, will you? Oh, oh. I'll talk to you later.
- 00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:44,648 Well, there's my favorite client.
- 00:08:44,815 --> 00:08:47,442 So tell me, darling, how was the audition?
- 00:08:47,693 --> 00:08:51,655 Well, I think it went pretty well. I got a callback for Thursday.
- 00:08:51,864 --> 00:08:54,950 Joey. Have you ever seen me ecstatic?
- 00:08:55,243 --> 00:08:58,662 -No. -Well, here it is.
- 00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:06,127 Okay. Uh, listen, there's something I want to talk to you about.
- 00:09:06,337 --> 00:09:09,673 -The network casting lady-- -Oh, isn't Lori a doll?
- 00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:11,925 Yeah, yeah, she's great.
- 00:09:12,593 --> 00:09:16,972 But I kind of got the feeling that she was sort of coming on to me.
- 00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:21,560 And I definitely would get the part if I were to, you know....
- 00:09:25,731 --> 00:09:28,608 -If I would have sent the little general in. -Oh.
- 00:09:30,820 --> 00:09:34,614 I see. Well, I'm just gonna put in a call here...
- 00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:37,659 ...and we'll find out what's going on and straighten it out.
- 00:09:37,827 --> 00:09:40,954 Yeah, hi. Lori, please.
- 00:09:43,082 --> 00:09:44,874 Hi, darling.
- 00:09:45,167 --> 00:09:48,128 So how about Joey Tribbiani for the part of the cab driver?
- 00:09:48,337 --> 00:09:50,088 Isn't he terrific?
- 00:09:50,298 --> 00:09:54,175 Uh-huh.
- 00:09:54,635 --> 00:09:56,886 Okay, doll, talk to you later.
- 00:09:57,054 --> 00:09:59,180 Yeah, you're gonna have to sleep with her.
- 00:10:03,227 --> 00:10:05,103 RACHEL: What's the matter? MONICA: Fun Bobby.
- 00:10:05,313 --> 00:10:06,646 What? lsn't he sober?
- 00:10:06,856 --> 00:10:08,273 Oh, he's sober all right.
- 00:10:08,482 --> 00:10:11,234 Just turns out that Fun Bobby was fun for a reason.
- 00:10:12,486 --> 00:10:15,155 Ah. Okay.
- 00:10:16,198 --> 00:10:18,450 All right, here you go, sweetie.
- 00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:21,828 BOBBY: Thanks. You wanna hear something funny?
- 00:10:22,079 --> 00:10:23,663 Oh, God, yes.
- 00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:29,669 There are no hardware stores open past midnight in the Village.
- 00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:34,299 That is funny.
- 00:10:35,426 --> 00:10:37,636 I needed to buy a hammer the other night...
- 00:10:37,803 --> 00:10:40,180 ...and I'm out walking around the neighborhood.
- 00:10:40,389 --> 00:10:41,806 But apparently...
- 00:10:41,974 --> 00:10:46,770 ...there are no hardware stores open past midnight in the Village.
- 00:10:51,942 --> 00:10:54,110 Uh, say, honey, don't you have to be at your interview?
- 00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:55,779 Oh, yeah.
- 00:10:58,574 --> 00:11:00,784 BOBBY: See you guys. CHANDLER: Bye...
- 00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,703 ...ridiculously dull Bobby.
- 00:11:05,206 --> 00:11:08,041 -Oh, my God. -He's not that bad.
- 00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:12,212 Not that bad? Did you not hear the hammer story?
- 00:11:12,421 --> 00:11:14,589 Okay, okay, don't get all squinky.
- 00:11:16,300 --> 00:11:19,094 Maybe it was just the kind of story where you had to be there.
- 00:11:19,303 --> 00:11:20,637 But I'm gonna be there.
- 00:11:20,888 --> 00:11:23,264 For the rest of my life.
- 00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:26,851 I can't break up with him. I made him quit drinking.
- 00:11:27,019 --> 00:11:29,771 -He's dull because of me. -All right, don't say that.
- 00:11:29,980 --> 00:11:33,358 He's probably always been dull. You just, you know...
- 00:11:33,609 --> 00:11:34,901 ...set it free.
- 00:11:36,987 --> 00:11:39,531 -Hi. -Hey, Ross. Ah.
- 00:11:40,825 --> 00:11:41,866 RACHEL: Hi, Russ.
- 00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:44,619 I've just got two more tables to clean, and then we'll go, okay?
- 00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:47,706 Okay. I'll just sit here and, uh...
- 00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:49,999 ...chat with your, uh...
- 00:11:50,876 --> 00:11:53,962 ...friend-type people.
- 00:11:59,176 --> 00:12:01,636 Rachel? Um, hi.
- 00:12:01,804 --> 00:12:02,887 -Hi. -Okay.
- 00:12:03,055 --> 00:12:04,597 So you know what you're doing, right?
- 00:12:05,307 --> 00:12:06,474 Ha, ha. Waitressing?
- 00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:09,227 Well, yeah. But, no. I mean, um....
- 00:12:10,020 --> 00:12:12,981 Doesn't Russ just remind you of someone?
- 00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:17,610 -Huh. Bob Saget? -Oh, yeah.
- 00:12:18,904 --> 00:12:21,406 -No, no, no. Oh, oh. -Hi.
- 00:12:21,657 --> 00:12:22,866 Oh, my, oh.
- 00:12:23,117 --> 00:12:24,659 What--? What's wrong?
- 00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:28,621 -I-- Okay. -She's just upset because she, uh--
- 00:12:28,789 --> 00:12:30,957 She buttered a spider into her toast this morning.
- 00:12:31,125 --> 00:12:32,667 CHANDLER: Mm-hm.
- 00:12:32,835 --> 00:12:34,002 All right.
- 00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:38,882 Listen, Pheebs. This is gonna be okay.
- 00:12:39,383 --> 00:12:41,301 Ross, Russ. Russ, Ross.
- 00:12:42,887 --> 00:12:44,888 -Hi. -Hi.
- 00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:47,515 Are you a, uh, friend of RacheI's?
- 00:12:47,725 --> 00:12:48,767 Yes. Yes, I am.
- 00:12:48,976 --> 00:12:51,603 Are you a, uh, friend of RacheI's?
- 00:12:51,854 --> 00:12:54,731 Actually, I'm, uh, kind of a...
- 00:12:55,024 --> 00:12:56,107 ...you know...
- 00:12:56,650 --> 00:12:59,235 ...a date-type thing...
- 00:12:59,653 --> 00:13:00,695 ...of RacheI's.
- 00:13:01,739 --> 00:13:04,824 - A date? -Yeah. I'm her date.
- 00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:06,785 Oh. Oh, you're, uh....
- 00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:09,621 Oh, you're the date.
- 00:13:10,039 --> 00:13:11,372 You know, this is actually good...
- 00:13:11,582 --> 00:13:14,209 ...because if we ever lose Ross, we have a spare.
- 00:13:14,418 --> 00:13:17,754 Oh. You are the, uh, paleontologist.
- 00:13:18,297 --> 00:13:21,341 Yes. Yes, I am. And you are a....
- 00:13:23,219 --> 00:13:24,260 Periodontist.
- 00:13:24,553 --> 00:13:27,597 See? Now they're as different as night and...
- 00:13:28,432 --> 00:13:29,891 ...later that night.
- 00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:34,103 Well, I am going to, uh, get a beverage. Heh.
- 00:13:34,313 --> 00:13:37,607 -Uh, it was nice, uh, meeting you. -Ditto.
- 00:13:42,905 --> 00:13:45,240 I, uh-- Well, I met Russ.
- 00:13:45,449 --> 00:13:46,491 [ROSS CHUCKLES]
- 00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:47,867 Oh.
- 00:13:48,035 --> 00:13:50,745 Hey, I didn't know we were, uh, seeing other people.
- 00:13:51,247 --> 00:13:54,207 -Well, we're not seeing each other, so.... -Huh.
- 00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:57,877 Well, uh, for your information, there's a woman at the museum...
- 00:13:58,128 --> 00:14:01,089 ...who's curator of moths and other, uh...
- 00:14:02,383 --> 00:14:04,300 ...winged things...
- 00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:09,681 ...who's, uh, let it be known that she is drawn to me, much like a...
- 00:14:09,890 --> 00:14:12,141 ...you know. Ahem.
- 00:14:12,309 --> 00:14:15,144 Well, so far I've been keeping her at bay, but, uh, if this is the deal--
- 00:14:15,354 --> 00:14:16,563 Yeah, this is the deal.
- 00:14:16,772 --> 00:14:18,773 -Okay, well, um, have a nice evening. -Thank you.
- 00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:21,901 -Russ, are you ready? -Yeah.
- 00:14:23,195 --> 00:14:25,280 RACHEL: Bye. MONICA: Bye.
- 00:14:28,242 --> 00:14:31,411 She's dating?
- 00:14:31,662 --> 00:14:34,747 Yes. Yes, but did you see who she was dating?
- 00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:36,457 What do you mean?
- 00:14:37,084 --> 00:14:38,835 -Do you not see it? -See what?
- 00:14:39,044 --> 00:14:41,838 I don't know what she sees in that goober.
- 00:14:44,633 --> 00:14:47,719 It takes him, what? Like, I don't know, uh...
- 00:14:47,928 --> 00:14:50,847 ...hello, a week to get out a sentence?
- 00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:52,932 Yeah, it's annoying, isn't it?
- 00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:54,767 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:14:55,603 --> 00:14:56,644 Yeah.
- 00:15:03,694 --> 00:15:05,945 -Hey. JOEY: Hey.
- 00:15:06,405 --> 00:15:07,989 Whoa, whoa.
- 00:15:09,199 --> 00:15:10,742 I'm guessing you didn't get the part...
- 00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:13,536 ...or, uh, Italy called and said it was hungry?
- 00:15:14,413 --> 00:15:16,289 Well, the part's mine if I want it.
- 00:15:16,832 --> 00:15:17,874 Oh, my God.
- 00:15:18,083 --> 00:15:20,835 Yeah. lf I'm willing to sleep with the casting lady.
- 00:15:21,086 --> 00:15:22,253 Oh, my...
- 00:15:22,463 --> 00:15:24,213 ...God?
- 00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:28,593 Ten years I've been waiting for a break like this, Chandler. Ten years.
- 00:15:28,802 --> 00:15:32,513 I mean, Days of our Lives. That's actually on television.
- 00:15:33,432 --> 00:15:34,849 So, what are you gonna do?
- 00:15:35,059 --> 00:15:37,560 I guess I could sleep with her. I mean....
- 00:15:37,811 --> 00:15:39,187 How can I do that?
- 00:15:39,438 --> 00:15:43,232 Well, I've got a pop-up book that told me everything I needed to know.
- 00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:46,194 I've never slept with someone for a part.
- 00:15:46,403 --> 00:15:47,528 Well, is she--?
- 00:15:49,823 --> 00:15:50,865 Sorry.
- 00:15:52,326 --> 00:15:54,202 -Is she good-looking? -Yeah.
- 00:15:54,370 --> 00:15:57,538 She's totally good-looking. I mean, if I met her in a bar or something...
- 00:15:57,790 --> 00:16:00,041 ...I'd be buying her breakfast.
- 00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:03,795 You know, after having slept with her.
- 00:16:09,426 --> 00:16:11,636 You know, maybe this isn't such a big deal.
- 00:16:11,845 --> 00:16:17,350 I mean, the way that I see it is, you get a great job and you get to have sex.
- 00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:20,561 You know? Throw in a tree and a fat guy, and you've got Christmas.
- 00:16:24,024 --> 00:16:28,194 I just-- I just don't think that I want it that way though, you know?
- 00:16:28,445 --> 00:16:30,905 I mean, let's say I do make it, all right?
- 00:16:31,156 --> 00:16:34,283 I'm always gonna look back and wonder if it was because of my talent...
- 00:16:34,451 --> 00:16:37,370 ...or because of, you know, the little general.
- 00:16:40,124 --> 00:16:42,750 Didn't you used to call it the little major?
- 00:16:43,293 --> 00:16:45,753 Yeah, but after Denise DeMarco, I had to promote it.
- 00:16:51,719 --> 00:16:53,261 Can I get you something from the bar?
- 00:16:53,470 --> 00:16:55,221 Yes, I would like something.
- 00:16:56,223 --> 00:16:58,307 No. No, thank you.
- 00:16:58,517 --> 00:17:02,270 No, if you want a drink, it's okay with me. I've gotta get used to it.
- 00:17:02,479 --> 00:17:05,231 No, no, really. I wouldn't feel right about it.
- 00:17:05,566 --> 00:17:06,983 Just some water, please.
- 00:17:07,651 --> 00:17:11,237 -So the light went out in my refrigerator. -Scotch on the rocks with a twist.
- 00:17:12,948 --> 00:17:13,990 I'm sorry.
- 00:17:14,241 --> 00:17:16,576 Hey, we're having some fun now, huh, Ross?
- 00:17:16,827 --> 00:17:19,162 Wanna do another one? Huh, Russ?
- 00:17:21,206 --> 00:17:23,833 Okay. Eleven letters...
- 00:17:24,001 --> 00:17:27,503 ...atomic element number 1 01 , ends in "ium."
- 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:30,882 -Dysprosium. -Ha, ha. Dysprosium.
- 00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:32,592 Try mendelevium.
- 00:17:32,926 --> 00:17:35,053 And weenie number two has it.
- 00:17:35,846 --> 00:17:39,640 Unless of course 9 Down, "Nights in White Satin" was sung by the Doody Blues.
- 00:17:43,604 --> 00:17:46,105 You don't see it? You actually don't see it?
- 00:17:46,315 --> 00:17:49,525 -What? -Okay, honey, you're dating Ross.
- 00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:51,486 No, Pheebs, I'm dating Russ.
- 00:17:51,695 --> 00:17:54,155 Russ is Ross. Russ, Ross.
- 00:17:54,364 --> 00:17:55,698 Steve, sleeve.
- 00:17:55,908 --> 00:17:58,451 Okay, no one is named sleeve.
- 00:17:59,286 --> 00:18:01,204 Phoebe, what the hell are we talking about?
- 00:18:01,413 --> 00:18:05,500 Other than their names being similar, I'm sorry, I do not see what you're seeing.
- 00:18:05,709 --> 00:18:09,879 For your information, it's a card sharp, not a card shark.
- 00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:11,672 You could not be more wrong.
- 00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:14,383 You could try, but you would not be successful.
- 00:18:15,344 --> 00:18:19,555 Okay, I'm gonna get some more coffee before the pinching and eye-poking begins.
- 00:18:21,475 --> 00:18:24,227 -I know what your problem is. -Oh, you do, do you?
- 00:18:24,394 --> 00:18:25,728 Mm-hm. You're jealous.
- 00:18:27,648 --> 00:18:29,982 Uh, of what?
- 00:18:30,275 --> 00:18:32,693 You're jealous because I'm a real doctor.
- 00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:34,278 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:18:34,738 --> 00:18:36,489 Hey, you're a doctor of gums.
- 00:18:36,740 --> 00:18:39,242 That's the smallest body part you can major in.
- 00:18:40,327 --> 00:18:43,579 It's like, day one, floss. Day two, here's your diploma.
- 00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:44,914 -Now, you listen-- -No, no.
- 00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:46,916 ROSS: Let me finish. RUSS: No, let me finish.
- 00:18:47,167 --> 00:18:49,127 No, you let me fin--
- 00:18:50,921 --> 00:18:52,547 -Hi. -Hi.
- 00:18:54,299 --> 00:18:55,341 Ew.
- 00:18:56,009 --> 00:18:58,219 Ew, ew, ew.
- 00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:05,017 -Did Joey say what he was gonna do? CHANDLER: No.
- 00:19:05,602 --> 00:19:07,103 I don't even think he knew.
- 00:19:07,312 --> 00:19:09,856 Hey, would you sleep with somebody to get a great job?
- 00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:12,608 I don't know. Who would I have to sleep with?
- 00:19:12,818 --> 00:19:14,277 Me.
- 00:19:16,572 --> 00:19:18,197 Why would I have to sleep with you?
- 00:19:18,365 --> 00:19:20,658 It's my game. You want the job or not?
- 00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:24,162 -Hi. -Hey.
- 00:19:24,329 --> 00:19:26,622 -Good morning. -Where you going?
- 00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:29,083 Bobby and I are going away for the weekend. Remember?
- 00:19:29,251 --> 00:19:30,334 ROSS: Oh.
- 00:19:31,044 --> 00:19:32,837 PHOEBE: What's with all the bottles of liquor?
- 00:19:33,046 --> 00:19:35,464 What's going on? Is, uh, Bobby drinking again?
- 00:19:35,716 --> 00:19:38,134 Oh, no, this is not for him. This is for me.
- 00:19:39,595 --> 00:19:43,264 That way, he's still sober, but I find his stories about shoelaces more amusing.
- 00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:46,851 [KNOCK ON DOOR]
- 00:19:48,145 --> 00:19:51,230 Ugh, God. Even his knock is boring.
- 00:19:53,901 --> 00:19:57,111 -Hi. I'll be ready in just a second. -Uh, could I talk to you a minute?
- 00:19:57,321 --> 00:19:58,446 Sure.
- 00:20:00,115 --> 00:20:03,743 -This is really hard for me to say. -Oh, God. You fell off the wagon.
- 00:20:03,952 --> 00:20:05,161 Oh, no, no.
- 00:20:05,537 --> 00:20:06,579 It's about you.
- 00:20:07,164 --> 00:20:08,331 What about me?
- 00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:11,083 I think you may have a drinking problem.
- 00:20:14,463 --> 00:20:15,838 What, these?
- 00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:19,258 No, these are, um, for cuts and scrapes.
- 00:20:20,510 --> 00:20:24,639 Look, I am just not strong enough to be in a codependent relationship right now.
- 00:20:26,016 --> 00:20:28,184 Oh, shoot.
- 00:20:30,187 --> 00:20:33,022 Well, anyway, I hope we can be friends.
- 00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:34,774 Okay.
- 00:20:37,402 --> 00:20:38,444 Take care.
- 00:20:38,695 --> 00:20:41,155 -Okay. You too. -Bye.
- 00:20:44,576 --> 00:20:45,701 What happened?
- 00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:48,996 Well, we kind of broke up.
- 00:20:49,581 --> 00:20:51,249 ALL: Aw.
- 00:20:56,213 --> 00:20:57,672 Does anybody want these?
- 00:20:57,923 --> 00:20:59,090 I'll take one.
- 00:21:00,133 --> 00:21:03,636 Sometimes I like to hold stuff like this and pretend I'm a giant.
- 00:21:08,141 --> 00:21:10,893 -Hey. -Hey. How'd the callback go?
- 00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:14,855 Ugh, it was unbelievable. I walked in there and she was all over me.
- 00:21:15,065 --> 00:21:17,149 -So, what did you do? -Well, I couldn't do it.
- 00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:20,278 -I told her I didn't want the part that way. -Good for you.
- 00:21:20,487 --> 00:21:22,822 Oh, wait, wait, wait. But then after I left her office...
- 00:21:22,990 --> 00:21:26,367 ...she caught up with me at the elevator and offered me an even bigger part.
- 00:21:26,702 --> 00:21:27,743 So, and...?
- 00:21:29,413 --> 00:21:33,916 So you are now looking at Dr. Drake Ramoray, neurosurgeon...
- 00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:36,127 ...recurring in at least four episodes.
- 00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:37,795 CHANDLER: All right!
- 00:21:37,963 --> 00:21:39,755 All right, I gotta go shower.
- 00:21:53,186 --> 00:21:54,520 Hi.
- 00:21:54,688 --> 00:21:56,355 -Oh, hey. -Hi.
- 00:21:56,523 --> 00:21:58,941 I guess you guys heard Rachel dumped me.
- 00:21:59,109 --> 00:22:00,526 Yeah, I'm sorry, man.
- 00:22:00,694 --> 00:22:03,612 All she said was that I remind her too much of somebody.
- 00:22:03,780 --> 00:22:05,614 You have any idea who she's talking about?
- 00:22:07,534 --> 00:22:10,244 Oh, I do. It's Bob Saget.
- 00:22:12,205 --> 00:22:14,040 -She hates him. RUSS: Oh.
- 00:22:14,207 --> 00:22:16,500 -Hey. CHANDLER: Hey, Julie.
- 00:22:16,668 --> 00:22:17,835 PHOEBE: Hey, how are you doing?
- 00:22:18,003 --> 00:22:21,714 Oh. I don't know. I mean, it's definitely weird not being with Ross...
- 00:22:21,923 --> 00:22:24,008 ...but I guess I'm doing okay.
- 00:22:24,259 --> 00:22:27,094 Actually, I've got some of his stuff that he, um....
- 00:22:43,528 --> 00:22:45,529 [English - US - SDH]
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