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Эпизод со списком
The One with the List
Сезон: 02Серия: 08
Описание
Росс мучается выбором между своей детской любовью, Рэйчел, и своей нынешней девушкой, Джули. Джои и Чендлер предлагают составить список плюсов и минусов каждой девушки. Росс выбирает Рэйчел, но в итоге остается с Джули. Однако позже Рэйчел находит этот список и читает негативные комментарии. Обиженная и рассерженная, она расстается с Россом. Монику нанимают для создания рецептов с использованием отвратительного на вкус синтетического шоколада под названием «Моколат».
Субтитры
- 00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:07,339 -Ross kissed me. -No!
- 00:00:07,549 --> 00:00:09,842 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
- 00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:11,510 It was unbelievable!
- 00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:14,763 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
- 00:00:14,973 --> 00:00:16,390 We wanna hear everything.
- 00:00:16,599 --> 00:00:18,600 Monica, get the wine and unplug the phone.
- 00:00:18,768 --> 00:00:20,436 -Okay. -Rachel.
- 00:00:20,603 --> 00:00:22,896 Does this end well or do we need to get tissues?
- 00:00:23,106 --> 00:00:26,275 -Oh, it ended very well. -Oh.
- 00:00:26,484 --> 00:00:29,361 Do not start without me! Do not start without me!
- 00:00:29,571 --> 00:00:32,239 Okay. All right. Let's hear about the kiss.
- 00:00:32,407 --> 00:00:34,867 Was it like a soft brush against your lips...
- 00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:38,704 ...or was it like a, you know, "l gotta have you now" kind of thing?
- 00:00:38,913 --> 00:00:43,250 Well, at first it was really intense, you know? And then....
- 00:00:43,418 --> 00:00:46,295 Oh, God. And then we just sort of sunk into it.
- 00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:50,674 Oh.... So, okay, was he holding you? Or were his hands on your back?
- 00:00:50,842 --> 00:00:54,386 No, actually, ahem, first they started out on my waist...
- 00:00:54,554 --> 00:00:57,181 ...and then they slid up and then they were in my hair.
- 00:00:57,390 --> 00:00:58,599 -Oh. PHOEBE: Oh.
- 00:01:00,518 --> 00:01:01,602 And, uh....
- 00:01:01,770 --> 00:01:02,978 And then I kissed her.
- 00:01:03,188 --> 00:01:04,271 Tongue?
- 00:01:04,439 --> 00:01:06,023 -Yeah. -Cool.
- 00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:56,073 All right, check out this bad boy!
- 00:01:56,324 --> 00:01:59,618 Twelve megabytes of RAM, 500-megabyte hard drive...
- 00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:01,662 ...built-in spreadsheet capabilities...
- 00:02:01,871 --> 00:02:05,833 ...and a modem that transmits at over 28,000 BPS.
- 00:02:06,042 --> 00:02:07,876 Wow. What are you gonna use it for?
- 00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:10,546 Games and stuff.
- 00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:15,092 There are no jobs. There are no jobs for me.
- 00:02:15,260 --> 00:02:17,553 Oh, wait, here's one. Uh....
- 00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:21,974 -Would you be willing to cook naked? -There's an ad for a naked chef?
- 00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:27,104 No, but if you're willing to cook naked, then you might be willing to dance naked.
- 00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:29,565 - And then.... -Mm.
- 00:02:30,441 --> 00:02:31,650 -Hi. -Hey.
- 00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:34,486 MONICA: Hey. -Oh, so how'd you make out last night?
- 00:02:38,366 --> 00:02:40,868 That is funny. That is painfully funny.
- 00:02:41,035 --> 00:02:42,452 No, wait, wait.
- 00:02:42,620 --> 00:02:44,997 Yeah, that's just painful.
- 00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:48,333 Wait a minute. I thought last night was great.
- 00:02:48,543 --> 00:02:50,502 Yeah, it was. But I get home, okay...
- 00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:53,755 ...and I see Julie's saline solution on my night table...
- 00:02:53,965 --> 00:02:56,466 ...and I think, "Oh, my God. What the hell am I doing?"
- 00:02:56,634 --> 00:02:59,553 I mean, here I am with Julie, this incredible, great woman...
- 00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:02,514 ...who I care about and who cares about me...
- 00:03:02,682 --> 00:03:04,850 ...and am I just gonna throw all that away?
- 00:03:05,351 --> 00:03:07,436 You got all that from saline solution?
- 00:03:08,771 --> 00:03:12,232 Wait a minute. We're talking about Rachel here. You and Rachel.
- 00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:15,402 Believe me, I've been dreaming about me and Rachel for 1 0 years.
- 00:03:15,570 --> 00:03:17,362 But now I'm with Julie.
- 00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:20,407 You know? So it's like, me and Julie, me and Rachel.
- 00:03:20,575 --> 00:03:22,784 Me and Julie, me and Rach--
- 00:03:23,286 --> 00:03:24,578 Rachel! Rachel.
- 00:03:25,788 --> 00:03:27,873 -Hey, you. -How are you?
- 00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:29,583 Good. How are you?
- 00:03:29,792 --> 00:03:31,084 -Good. Um.... RACHEL: Good.
- 00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:33,712 -Hi, honey. -Hi, Julie. Hi, Julie?
- 00:03:34,130 --> 00:03:35,464 ROSS: Julie!
- 00:03:36,925 --> 00:03:38,425 Um, how are you?
- 00:03:38,593 --> 00:03:40,052 -Good. ROSS: Good.
- 00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:41,595 So everybody's here.
- 00:03:41,804 --> 00:03:42,888 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:44,389 Everybody's good.
- 00:03:47,727 --> 00:03:49,228 Were you gonna play something?
- 00:03:49,437 --> 00:03:51,313 -Oh. Well, actually-- -Play it!
- 00:03:51,481 --> 00:03:52,564 PHOEBE: Oh.
- 00:03:54,150 --> 00:03:55,859 All right.
- 00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:57,903 -Julie, I didn't know you wore lenses. -What?
- 00:03:58,071 --> 00:03:59,613 Shh.
- 00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:02,658 PHOEBE: Okay. Um, hi.
- 00:04:02,867 --> 00:04:05,410 Hello. Hi. Okay.
- 00:04:05,620 --> 00:04:06,954 So, um.... Ahem.
- 00:04:07,163 --> 00:04:10,207 This is a song, um, about a love triangle...
- 00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:12,417 ...between three people I made up.
- 00:04:14,879 --> 00:04:16,129 [GUlTAR STRUMMlNG]
- 00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:19,049 Um, it's called, um, "Two of Them Kissed Last Night."
- 00:04:22,553 --> 00:04:26,223 [SlNGlNG] There was a girl we'll call her Betty
- 00:04:26,474 --> 00:04:29,726 And a guy Let's call him Neil
- 00:04:30,478 --> 00:04:34,273 Now I can't stress This point too strongly
- 00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:37,442 This story isn't real
- 00:04:39,904 --> 00:04:44,658 Now our Neil must decide Who will be the girl that he casts aside?
- 00:04:44,867 --> 00:04:47,077 will Betty be the one Who he loves truly?
- 00:04:47,328 --> 00:04:50,664 Or will it be the one Who we'll call Loolie?
- 00:04:54,252 --> 00:04:56,586 He must decide He must decide
- 00:04:56,796 --> 00:05:02,217 Even though I made him up He must decide
- 00:05:03,928 --> 00:05:05,846 Well, this is a nice resume.
- 00:05:06,014 --> 00:05:07,097 [MONlCA CHUCKLES]
- 00:05:07,265 --> 00:05:08,890 Nice, nice, nice.
- 00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:11,560 [SPEAKS lN SPANlSH THEN CHUCKLES]
- 00:05:12,353 --> 00:05:16,356 Uh, Mr. Rastatter, what does this job entail? The ad wasn't clear.
- 00:05:17,859 --> 00:05:19,151 Mockolate.
- 00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,194 -I'm sorry? -Mockolate.
- 00:05:21,404 --> 00:05:23,613 It's a synthetic chocolate substitute.
- 00:05:24,574 --> 00:05:25,657 Ooh.
- 00:05:25,867 --> 00:05:26,950 [BOTH CHUCKLE]
- 00:05:27,118 --> 00:05:28,452 -Well, go ahead, try a piece. -Oh.
- 00:05:28,661 --> 00:05:31,705 Yeah, we think that Mockolate is even better than chocolate.
- 00:05:31,914 --> 00:05:34,124 -All right. -Ha, ha.
- 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:39,963 Mm.
- 00:05:40,131 --> 00:05:41,673 Yeah. Ha-ha-ha.
- 00:05:42,091 --> 00:05:43,258 I love how it crumbles.
- 00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:44,593 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:05:44,761 --> 00:05:47,637 -You see, chocolate doesn't do that. -Ha-ha-ha. No, ma'am.
- 00:05:48,723 --> 00:05:51,641 Anyhoo, we should be getting our FDA approval any day now.
- 00:05:51,851 --> 00:05:53,143 RASTATTER: Ha-ha-ha.
- 00:05:53,311 --> 00:05:55,812 -Hopefully, in time for Thanksgiving. -Mm.
- 00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:58,482 See, the way we look at it, chocolate dominates...
- 00:05:58,733 --> 00:06:02,569 ...your major food-preparation holidays. Easter, Christmas, what have you.
- 00:06:02,737 --> 00:06:05,864 -Mm-hm. -But we think given the right marketing...
- 00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:08,575 ...we can make Thanksgiving the Mockolate holiday.
- 00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:11,078 Wow.
- 00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:13,914 -Aren't you gonna swallow that? -Ha, ha.
- 00:06:14,582 --> 00:06:17,042 -Just waiting for it to stop bubbling. -Oh.
- 00:06:17,251 --> 00:06:18,668 Yeah. lsn't that great?
- 00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:21,004 -Mm. RASTATTER: Ha-ha-ha.
- 00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:22,589 Well, anyhoo, um...
- 00:06:22,757 --> 00:06:26,218 ...we're looking for chefs who can create Thanksgiving-themed recipes.
- 00:06:26,469 --> 00:06:27,677 You interested?
- 00:06:27,887 --> 00:06:29,304 Abso--
- 00:06:29,472 --> 00:06:31,264 Ahem. --lutely!
- 00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:32,974 [RASTATTER CHUCKLES]
- 00:06:33,142 --> 00:06:36,686 See, I love creating new recipes, I love Thanksgiving, and, well, now...
- 00:06:36,938 --> 00:06:38,105 ...I love Mockolate.
- 00:06:38,272 --> 00:06:39,398 -Really? -Mm.
- 00:06:39,607 --> 00:06:42,275 Especially that aftertaste. You know, I tell you...
- 00:06:42,485 --> 00:06:43,985 ...that'll last you till Christmas.
- 00:06:44,153 --> 00:06:45,904 [RASTATTER LAUGHS]
- 00:06:49,158 --> 00:06:50,617 How about Mockolate mousse?
- 00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:52,285 It's not...
- 00:06:52,537 --> 00:06:54,121 ...very Thanksgiving-y.
- 00:06:54,580 --> 00:06:57,124 Okay, how about Pilgrim Mockolate mousse?
- 00:06:58,126 --> 00:06:59,251 What makes it Pilgrim?
- 00:06:59,669 --> 00:07:02,003 We'll put buckles on it.
- 00:07:02,713 --> 00:07:03,797 -Hey. -Hey.
- 00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:06,216 -Hey. -Did Ross call?
- 00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:08,135 MONICA: No, I'm sorry.
- 00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:10,470 Why didn't he call?
- 00:07:10,888 --> 00:07:12,514 He's gonna stay with Julie.
- 00:07:12,723 --> 00:07:14,850 He's gonna stay with her and she'll be:
- 00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:17,352 [lN HlGH-PlTCHED VOICE] "Hi, I'm Julie. Ross picked me.
- 00:07:17,603 --> 00:07:21,690 We'll get married and have lots of kids and dig up stuff together!"
- 00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:26,027 No offense, but that sounds nothing like her.
- 00:07:28,948 --> 00:07:32,993 I don't know what I'll do. What am I gonna do? This is like a complete nightmare!
- 00:07:33,202 --> 00:07:37,330 Oh, I know. This must be so hard. "Oh, no! Two women love me!
- 00:07:38,666 --> 00:07:41,918 They're both gorgeous and sexy, my wallet's too small for my 50s...
- 00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:44,629 ...and my diamond shoes are too tight!"
- 00:07:46,048 --> 00:07:50,010 -Hey, here's a thought, Ross-- -Don't ever touch the computer.
- 00:07:51,053 --> 00:07:53,847 Ross, listen. I got two words for you:
- 00:07:54,098 --> 00:07:55,807 Threesome.
- 00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:02,022 Right, look. Let's get logical about this. We'll make a list.
- 00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:03,815 "Rachel and Julie: Pros and Cons."
- 00:08:03,983 --> 00:08:05,066 [ROSS SlGHS]
- 00:08:05,234 --> 00:08:07,068 -Oh. -Oh.
- 00:08:08,738 --> 00:08:11,573 We'll put their names in bold with different fonts...
- 00:08:11,782 --> 00:08:14,326 ...and I can use different colors for each column.
- 00:08:14,660 --> 00:08:15,869 Can't we just use a pen?
- 00:08:16,078 --> 00:08:18,246 No, Amish boy.
- 00:08:19,999 --> 00:08:22,751 Let's start with the cons because they're more fun.
- 00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:24,753 Ha-ha-ha. Rachel first.
- 00:08:24,962 --> 00:08:26,046 [SlGHS]
- 00:08:26,214 --> 00:08:27,297 I don't know.
- 00:08:27,465 --> 00:08:28,632 I mean....
- 00:08:28,799 --> 00:08:33,386 All right, I guess you can say she's a little spoiled sometimes.
- 00:08:33,596 --> 00:08:34,679 You could say that.
- 00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:36,431 ROSS: Yeah.
- 00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:40,310 I guess, you know, sometimes she's a little ditzy, you know?
- 00:08:40,478 --> 00:08:41,645 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:08:41,812 --> 00:08:44,606 And I've seen her be a little too into her looks.
- 00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:47,442 Uh. Oh, and Julie and I have a lot in common...
- 00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:50,612 ...because we're both paleontologists, right?
- 00:08:50,780 --> 00:08:52,614 But RacheI's just a waitress.
- 00:08:52,782 --> 00:08:54,199 Waitress.
- 00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:56,785 Got it. You guys wanna play "Doom"?
- 00:08:59,413 --> 00:09:01,790 Or we could keep doing this.
- 00:09:03,251 --> 00:09:04,918 What else?
- 00:09:05,169 --> 00:09:06,878 I don't know.
- 00:09:07,046 --> 00:09:08,255 [ROSS SlGHS]
- 00:09:08,464 --> 00:09:11,049 Oh, her ankles are a little chubby.
- 00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:14,219 CHANDLER: Okay, let's do Julie.
- 00:09:14,428 --> 00:09:15,762 What's wrong with her?
- 00:09:15,972 --> 00:09:18,974 [SlGHS]
- 00:09:19,433 --> 00:09:21,810 She's not Rachel.
- 00:09:25,439 --> 00:09:28,483 MONICA: Okay. This is pumpkin pie with a Mockolate crust.
- 00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:32,362 This is Mockolate cranberry cake, and these are Mockolate-chip cookies.
- 00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:34,781 Just like the lndians served.
- 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:39,244 Oh, my God!
- 00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:40,495 "Oh, my God" good?
- 00:09:40,663 --> 00:09:44,457 Oh, my God! I can't believe you let me put this in my mouth.
- 00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:45,750 Oh! Ugh!
- 00:09:45,918 --> 00:09:49,004 Sweet Lord! Oh, this is what evil must taste like!
- 00:09:55,052 --> 00:09:56,886 I'm telling you, this thing won't print.
- 00:09:58,055 --> 00:10:00,682 Yes, I pressed that button, like, 1 00 times.
- 00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:02,976 You know, for a hotline, you're not so hot.
- 00:10:05,354 --> 00:10:07,147 What is that in the background?
- 00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:08,815 Are you watching Star Trek?
- 00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:15,614 Hey.
- 00:10:16,115 --> 00:10:18,533 So how'd it go with Julie? Did you break her heart?
- 00:10:18,743 --> 00:10:19,826 Yes.
- 00:10:19,994 --> 00:10:24,497 It was horrible. She cried, I cried. She threw things, they hit me.
- 00:10:24,665 --> 00:10:26,207 Mm.
- 00:10:27,335 --> 00:10:28,668 I did the right thing.
- 00:10:28,878 --> 00:10:31,504 So Spock actually hugs his father?
- 00:10:33,424 --> 00:10:35,508 Hey, do you guys have--?
- 00:10:37,136 --> 00:10:39,095 -Hi. -Hi.
- 00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:40,430 Where you going?
- 00:10:40,598 --> 00:10:43,516 I just got back from, uh....
- 00:10:44,101 --> 00:10:45,560 From Julie's.
- 00:10:46,687 --> 00:10:48,021 Oh.
- 00:10:48,189 --> 00:10:49,272 No, no.
- 00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:51,274 Uh, it's not what you think. Um....
- 00:10:51,442 --> 00:10:53,026 It's the other thing.
- 00:10:59,950 --> 00:11:03,161 Well, heh, ahem, what's the other thing? What do I think?
- 00:11:03,371 --> 00:11:05,246 [ROSS SlGHS]
- 00:11:05,414 --> 00:11:06,748 Well, uh....
- 00:11:06,957 --> 00:11:08,166 He broke up with Julie!
- 00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:09,542 [JOEY CHUCKLES]
- 00:11:09,710 --> 00:11:12,837 Well, go hug her, for God's sakes!
- 00:11:14,131 --> 00:11:15,215 Really?
- 00:11:15,383 --> 00:11:16,466 Really.
- 00:11:17,468 --> 00:11:19,344 It's always been you, Rach.
- 00:11:19,595 --> 00:11:21,262 Oh, God.
- 00:11:26,977 --> 00:11:28,770 BOTH: Oh.
- 00:11:30,648 --> 00:11:32,774 Oh.
- 00:11:32,942 --> 00:11:34,567 Oh, this is good.
- 00:11:34,735 --> 00:11:36,945 -This is really good. -I know. I know.
- 00:11:37,154 --> 00:11:38,988 It's almost....
- 00:11:45,204 --> 00:11:48,456 What do you say we go take a walk? Just us. Not them.
- 00:11:48,666 --> 00:11:51,167 -Okay. Let me get my coat. -Okay. No, hey, whoa, whoa.
- 00:11:52,002 --> 00:11:53,545 I'll get your coat.
- 00:11:54,088 --> 00:11:55,922 Okay.
- 00:11:56,465 --> 00:11:57,882 [GlGGLES]
- 00:12:00,886 --> 00:12:04,139 He's going to get my coat. He's going to get my coat, Joey!
- 00:12:04,306 --> 00:12:08,685 Oh, my God, you guys, I can't believe this! This is unbelievable!
- 00:12:08,853 --> 00:12:11,938 -What's that? CHANDLER: What? Nothing!
- 00:12:12,940 --> 00:12:16,860 -What? I saw my name. What is it? -No, no, see? See?
- 00:12:17,027 --> 00:12:20,947 Hey, it's printing!
- 00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:23,450 What is it? Let me see!
- 00:12:23,659 --> 00:12:25,243 Hey, someone order a coat?
- 00:12:25,453 --> 00:12:28,747 Ross, Chandler wrote something about me and he won't let me see.
- 00:12:28,998 --> 00:12:31,082 He won't? He won't!
- 00:12:32,877 --> 00:12:34,461 Because isn't that...
- 00:12:34,628 --> 00:12:36,838 ...the short story you were writing?
- 00:12:37,798 --> 00:12:40,091 Yes, it is a short story...
- 00:12:40,259 --> 00:12:41,676 ...that I was writing.
- 00:12:41,886 --> 00:12:43,762 And I'm in it? Well, let me read it.
- 00:12:43,971 --> 00:12:45,638 [lN UNISON] No!
- 00:12:47,183 --> 00:12:51,019 -Come on! -Hey, uh, why don't you read it to her?
- 00:13:01,113 --> 00:13:02,697 All right.
- 00:13:10,122 --> 00:13:11,748 [CHANDLER CLEARS THROAT]
- 00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:13,500 "lt was summer.
- 00:13:16,045 --> 00:13:17,420 And it was hot.
- 00:13:17,588 --> 00:13:18,797 [SlGHS]
- 00:13:18,964 --> 00:13:20,215 -Rachel was there. -Eh?
- 00:13:20,424 --> 00:13:22,133 [ROSS CHUCKLES]
- 00:13:23,594 --> 00:13:26,221 A lonely gray couch.
- 00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:27,680 [GRUNTS]
- 00:13:27,848 --> 00:13:29,766 'Oh, look!' cried Ned.
- 00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:33,561 And then the kingdom was his forever. The end!"
- 00:13:37,149 --> 00:13:40,527 That's it? That's all you wrote? You're the worst writer in the world!
- 00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:43,446 This isn't funny anymore.
- 00:13:43,614 --> 00:13:47,659 There's something about me on that piece of paper, and I want to see it.
- 00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:49,661 No, you don't.
- 00:13:51,413 --> 00:13:55,416 All right, you know what? Fine. If you guys wanna be children, that's fine.
- 00:13:55,626 --> 00:13:56,835 -I do not need to see it! -Ha!
- 00:13:57,002 --> 00:13:58,127 No, no, no!
- 00:13:58,295 --> 00:13:59,921 CHANDLER: Go, go, go!
- 00:14:02,383 --> 00:14:03,716 JOEY: Ooh.
- 00:14:03,884 --> 00:14:04,968 What is this?
- 00:14:05,135 --> 00:14:06,219 CHANDLER: That is....
- 00:14:06,387 --> 00:14:07,720 JOEY: No, no, no. ROSS: Ah....
- 00:14:07,888 --> 00:14:08,972 Ross, what is this?
- 00:14:09,181 --> 00:14:11,432 CHANDLER: Thank you. JOEY: Good luck.
- 00:14:14,061 --> 00:14:17,647 Okay. Just remember how crazy I am about you, okay?
- 00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:18,982 "Kind of ditzy"?
- 00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:21,317 Ahem. "Too into her looks"?
- 00:14:22,570 --> 00:14:23,778 "Spoiled"?
- 00:14:23,988 --> 00:14:26,489 A little spoiled. He was supposed to type "little," the idiot!
- 00:14:26,657 --> 00:14:27,949 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:14:28,993 --> 00:14:30,952 "Just a waitress"?
- 00:14:32,079 --> 00:14:34,122 Now, that was, uh....
- 00:14:34,331 --> 00:14:36,958 I mean, as opposed to, uh....
- 00:14:37,126 --> 00:14:40,295 The, um.... Okay, is this over yet? Rach?
- 00:14:40,504 --> 00:14:44,340 Ah! I do not have chubby ankles!
- 00:14:44,592 --> 00:14:45,842 No! I-- No. Rach, Rach....
- 00:14:46,051 --> 00:14:49,262 Okay, look at the other side. Look at Julie's column.
- 00:14:50,097 --> 00:14:51,514 "She's not Rachem"?
- 00:14:52,349 --> 00:14:53,975 -No-- -What the helI's a Rachem?
- 00:14:54,184 --> 00:14:56,769 -No, no-- -Is that some stupid paleontology word...
- 00:14:56,937 --> 00:14:59,355 ...that I wouldn't know because I'm just a waitress?
- 00:14:59,523 --> 00:15:01,608 No. Rach, come on! Rach--
- 00:15:01,775 --> 00:15:03,443 Rach! Rach! No, no!
- 00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:05,778 It's "She's not Rachel"! She's not....
- 00:15:05,946 --> 00:15:08,531 [LOCK CLICKS]
- 00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:11,451 Rachel?
- 00:15:15,539 --> 00:15:17,665 My diary. My diary! That's brilliant!
- 00:15:17,833 --> 00:15:20,877 If I'd said it was my diary, she wouldn't have made me read it.
- 00:15:21,045 --> 00:15:26,257 No, that's true. You'd be a great person to have around the day after an emergency.
- 00:15:27,092 --> 00:15:29,636 I cannot believe Ross even made this list.
- 00:15:29,803 --> 00:15:32,722 -I know. -What a dinkus!
- 00:15:33,432 --> 00:15:36,601 Hey, cut him some slack. It was Chandler's idea.
- 00:15:36,894 --> 00:15:38,186 -What? -What?
- 00:15:38,479 --> 00:15:40,980 Oh, good. I was hoping that would come up.
- 00:15:42,066 --> 00:15:43,441 -This was your idea? PHOEBE: What?
- 00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:48,196 Let's get some perspective here, okay? These things happen for a reason.
- 00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:49,572 Yeah. You!
- 00:15:49,740 --> 00:15:51,324 [PHOEBE SCOFFS]
- 00:15:51,492 --> 00:15:55,745 All right, Pheebs, back me up here. You believe in that karma crap, don't you?
- 00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:59,832 Yeah. Listen, by the way, good luck in your next life as a dung beetle.
- 00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:13,554 [GRUNTS]
- 00:16:17,476 --> 00:16:19,769 ROSS: Rach! Whoa--
- 00:16:20,270 --> 00:16:21,354 Rach!
- 00:16:21,522 --> 00:16:24,023 Hey! Uh, open up! Please?
- 00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:28,152 When somebody does not buzz you in, Ross, that means, "Go away."
- 00:16:28,362 --> 00:16:30,697 That doesn't mean, "Climb up the fire escape."
- 00:16:30,906 --> 00:16:33,449 I just want to read you something, your "Pro List."
- 00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:35,243 Not interested.
- 00:16:35,411 --> 00:16:36,869 Okay, okay.
- 00:16:37,079 --> 00:16:40,373 "Number one: the way you cry at game shows. Aw.
- 00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:44,335 Number two: how much you love your friends.
- 00:16:44,503 --> 00:16:48,589 Number three: the way you play with your hair when you're nervous.
- 00:16:48,757 --> 00:16:52,677 Number four: how brave you are for starting your life over.
- 00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:56,055 Number five: how great you are with Ben.
- 00:16:56,223 --> 00:16:59,600 Number six: the way you smell."
- 00:17:01,186 --> 00:17:02,311 What are you doing?
- 00:17:02,730 --> 00:17:04,397 Joey, you wanna open the window?
- 00:17:04,606 --> 00:17:06,524 Oh, yeah.
- 00:17:07,192 --> 00:17:09,569 -What are you doing out there? -I'm, um....
- 00:17:09,737 --> 00:17:12,280 My gosh, you must be freezing. You know what you need?
- 00:17:12,489 --> 00:17:16,075 How about a nice, steaming cup of hot Mockolate?
- 00:17:19,747 --> 00:17:20,955 Rach, come on, open up.
- 00:17:21,165 --> 00:17:22,248 [ROSS PANTlNG]
- 00:17:22,416 --> 00:17:25,293 Rach, come on. Come on. You gotta give me another chance.
- 00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:27,211 No.
- 00:17:27,463 --> 00:17:29,547 -No? -That's what I said.
- 00:17:29,757 --> 00:17:30,923 Maybe we should go.
- 00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:33,217 No, you don't have to go. We're done talking.
- 00:17:33,385 --> 00:17:35,011 Rach, come on. I know how you must--
- 00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:36,929 No, you don't, Ross.
- 00:17:37,514 --> 00:17:41,434 Imagine the worst things you think about yourself.
- 00:17:41,602 --> 00:17:45,897 Now, how would you feel if the one person that you trusted the most in the world...
- 00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:47,774 ...not only thinks them too...
- 00:17:47,941 --> 00:17:51,986 ...but actually uses them as reasons not to be with you.
- 00:17:52,196 --> 00:17:56,616 No, but see, I wanna be with you in spite of all those things.
- 00:17:57,409 --> 00:18:00,161 Oh. Well, that's mighty big of you, Ross.
- 00:18:00,370 --> 00:18:02,038 I said, don't go!
- 00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:06,209 You know what?
- 00:18:06,376 --> 00:18:11,339 If things were the other way around, there is nothing you could put on a list...
- 00:18:11,507 --> 00:18:14,300 ...that would ever make me not wanna be with you.
- 00:18:14,885 --> 00:18:18,221 Well, then I guess that's the difference between us.
- 00:18:18,388 --> 00:18:21,057 See, I'd never make a list.
- 00:18:36,490 --> 00:18:41,077 I never know how long you're supposed to wait in this situation before you can talk.
- 00:18:43,163 --> 00:18:44,664 Maybe a little longer.
- 00:18:50,212 --> 00:18:53,339 In some of these recipes, the quantities may seem a little unusual.
- 00:18:53,507 --> 00:18:56,425 Uh, like these coconut Mockolate holiday nut bars?
- 00:18:56,635 --> 00:18:59,804 I've indicated four cups of coconut and four cups of crushed nuts...
- 00:19:00,013 --> 00:19:03,224 ...and only one tablespoon of Mockolate.
- 00:19:04,351 --> 00:19:05,434 Doesn't matter.
- 00:19:05,602 --> 00:19:06,769 What?
- 00:19:06,937 --> 00:19:09,397 Our FDA approval didn't come through.
- 00:19:09,648 --> 00:19:12,525 Something about laboratory rats. Huh.
- 00:19:13,694 --> 00:19:14,902 Oh, gosh, I'm sorry.
- 00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:16,404 Yeah.
- 00:19:16,572 --> 00:19:18,406 Well, anyhoo, here's your check.
- 00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:21,200 Thank you for all you went through.
- 00:19:21,368 --> 00:19:22,535 [RASTATTER CHUCKLES]
- 00:19:22,703 --> 00:19:26,622 Um, listen, you didn't eat a lot of it while you were cooking, did you?
- 00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:28,374 Well, I ate some.
- 00:19:28,584 --> 00:19:30,835 Oh, some. That's fine. Some's not a lot.
- 00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:32,420 -Ha-ha-ha. -Okay.
- 00:19:32,629 --> 00:19:35,590 So it doesn't burn when you pee, does it?
- 00:19:43,765 --> 00:19:47,018 [PHONE RINGS]
- 00:19:48,687 --> 00:19:49,896 Hello.
- 00:19:50,063 --> 00:19:51,189 Hi.
- 00:19:53,442 --> 00:19:54,817 Is that him again?
- 00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:58,779 Tell him I'd come to the phone, but my ankles are weighing me down.
- 00:20:01,366 --> 00:20:03,618 Listen, I don't think this is the best time.
- 00:20:03,827 --> 00:20:06,787 Look, can you do something for me?
- 00:20:06,997 --> 00:20:08,915 Sure. What?
- 00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:11,417 Okay.
- 00:20:12,294 --> 00:20:13,920 All right.
- 00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:18,466 Music?
- 00:20:18,634 --> 00:20:20,885 -Sure. -Okay.
- 00:20:22,137 --> 00:20:26,557 [UPBEAT MUSlC PLAYS ON RADlO]
- 00:20:26,725 --> 00:20:29,852 WOMAN [ON RADlO]: The next one's dedicated to Rachel from Ross.
- 00:20:30,020 --> 00:20:32,855 Rachel, he wants you to know he's sorry for what he did...
- 00:20:33,023 --> 00:20:36,275 ...and he hopes you can find it in your heart to forgive him.
- 00:20:36,443 --> 00:20:40,863 [ON RADIO] See the stone set in your eyes
- 00:20:41,031 --> 00:20:44,951 See the thorn twist in your side
- 00:20:45,452 --> 00:20:49,247 I'll wait for you
- 00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:57,546 Sleight of hand and twist of fate
- 00:20:58,215 --> 00:21:03,135 On a bed of nails she makes me wait
- 00:21:03,303 --> 00:21:07,556 And I'll wait without you
- 00:21:07,724 --> 00:21:09,809 WOMAN [ON RADlO]: Uh, we've just gotten a call from Rachel...
- 00:21:09,977 --> 00:21:12,687 ...and she told us what Ross did.
- 00:21:12,854 --> 00:21:15,815 It's pretty appalling. And, Ross, if you're listening...
- 00:21:15,983 --> 00:21:19,151 ...l don't wanna play your song anymore.
- 00:21:24,366 --> 00:21:27,368 why don't we devote our time to a couple that stands a chance?
- 00:21:27,577 --> 00:21:30,037 Avery, Michelle's sorry she hit you with her car...
- 00:21:30,205 --> 00:21:32,331 ...and she hopes you two will work it out.
- 00:21:32,499 --> 00:21:36,043 [ON RADIO] There's a room where
- 00:21:36,211 --> 00:21:39,588 I can go and
- 00:21:39,756 --> 00:21:45,177 Tell my secrets to
- 00:21:45,512 --> 00:21:55,563 In my room
- 00:21:55,731 --> 00:22:02,570 In my room, in my room
- 00:22:02,738 --> 00:22:05,614 In my room
- 00:22:06,491 --> 00:22:07,575 Hi.
- 00:22:07,784 --> 00:22:09,076 Thanks for coming in again.
- 00:22:09,244 --> 00:22:11,746 Oh, not at all. I have no morals, and I need the cash.
- 00:22:11,955 --> 00:22:14,081 It's like I'm looking in a mirror. Ha-ha-ha.
- 00:22:15,292 --> 00:22:18,419 Anyway, they're called Fish-tachios.
- 00:22:19,379 --> 00:22:22,131 Now, they taste exactly like pistachios...
- 00:22:22,341 --> 00:22:24,467 ...but they're made of reconstituted fish bits.
- 00:22:25,886 --> 00:22:27,428 Here, try one.
- 00:22:28,430 --> 00:22:30,681 -All right. -You're not allergic to anything?
- 00:22:30,891 --> 00:22:33,976 -Uh, cat hair. -Oh, sorry.
- 00:22:44,279 --> 00:22:46,280 [English - US - SDH]
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