Эпизод с младенцем в автобусе
Описание
Когда Моника срочно везет Росса в отделение неотложной помощи после того, как у него случается аллергическая реакция на киви, Чендлер и Джои присматривают за сыном Росса, Беном. Они используют его как приманку, чтобы привлечь девушек, но женщины думают, что они — гей-пара. После того, как они случайно оставляют Бена в автобусе, они не могут определить, кто из двух младенцев — Бен, в городском бюро находок. Фиби теряет работу в Central Perk из-за профессиональной исполнительницы (Крисси Хайнд), поэтому она демонстративно поет перед кафе. Кроме того, незнакомец (Джованни Рибизи), который случайно уронил презерватив в чехол для гитары Фиби, спешит за ним, чтобы «заявить о чрезвычайной ситуации». Кэтрин Белл появляется в роли Робин, одной из девушек в автобусе. Джованни Рибизи в итоге играет сводного брата Фиби, Фрэнка Буффе-младшего, позже в этом сезоне. Крисси Хайнд является соавтором песни «Smelly Cat».
Субтитры
- 00:00:02,877 --> 00:00:04,795 Who the winny-binny boy?
- 00:00:04,963 --> 00:00:08,799 Oh, you the winny-winny-binny-binny boy!
- 00:00:08,967 --> 00:00:10,050 Yes.
- 00:00:10,218 --> 00:00:11,343 [CRYING]
- 00:00:11,553 --> 00:00:13,595 Don't cry.
- 00:00:13,805 --> 00:00:17,307 Don't cry, huh?
- 00:00:17,475 --> 00:00:19,727 Why is he still crying?
- 00:00:19,936 --> 00:00:22,062 Let me hold him for a sec.
- 00:00:22,230 --> 00:00:24,189 Here we go. Huh?
- 00:00:24,524 --> 00:00:25,983 Huh. There we are.
- 00:00:26,151 --> 00:00:27,484 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:28,902 Maybe it's me.
- 00:00:29,070 --> 00:00:33,115 Don't be silly. Ben loves you. He's just being Mr. Cranky Pants.
- 00:00:33,283 --> 00:00:36,285 You know, I once dated a Miss Cranky Pants.
- 00:00:37,162 --> 00:00:40,289 Lovely girl. Kind of moody.
- 00:00:40,457 --> 00:00:42,416 There we go, all better.
- 00:00:42,917 --> 00:00:44,960 There's my little boy. Eh.
- 00:00:45,253 --> 00:00:46,420 [CRYlNG]
- 00:00:46,755 --> 00:00:48,589 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:00:51,384 --> 00:00:53,719 Can l, uh, see something?
- 00:00:59,601 --> 00:01:06,565 [BEN CRlES]
- 00:01:07,525 --> 00:01:10,069 -Cool! -He hates me.
- 00:01:10,236 --> 00:01:12,696 -My nephew hates me! -Come on, don't do this.
- 00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:15,616 What if my own baby hates me, huh? What do I do then?
- 00:01:15,784 --> 00:01:17,326 Monica, stop! This is nuts.
- 00:01:17,494 --> 00:01:21,205 Do you know how long it'll be before you have to deal with this?
- 00:01:22,499 --> 00:01:23,999 You don't even have a boyfriend yet.
- 00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:29,463 Joey, she does not look fat.
- 00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:18,762 Here you go.
- 00:02:18,930 --> 00:02:20,222 Oh, hey, Mon.
- 00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:22,933 [CRlES]
- 00:02:23,643 --> 00:02:25,519 Goo, goo, goo!
- 00:02:25,728 --> 00:02:27,479 [CRlES THEN CHUCKLES]
- 00:02:28,731 --> 00:02:31,567 That is so funny! Let me see that a sec. Ha-ha-ha.
- 00:02:31,776 --> 00:02:33,068 Whoa.
- 00:02:34,904 --> 00:02:37,364 [GAGGlNG]
- 00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:40,242 You okay?
- 00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:41,577 I don't know.
- 00:02:43,746 --> 00:02:45,289 What's in this pie?
- 00:02:45,498 --> 00:02:49,376 I don't know. Um, butter and eggs and flour and lime and kiwi--
- 00:02:49,544 --> 00:02:51,587 Kiwi? Kiwi?!
- 00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:53,922 You said it was a key lime pie.
- 00:02:54,090 --> 00:02:58,051 No, I didn't. I said kiwi lime. That's what makes it so special.
- 00:02:58,219 --> 00:03:00,137 That's what's gonna kill me.
- 00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:03,599 Ahem. I'm allergic to kiwi.
- 00:03:03,766 --> 00:03:06,894 No, you're not. You're allergic to lobster and peanuts and--
- 00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:08,896 [GROANS]
- 00:03:09,898 --> 00:03:13,275 -Oh, my God! -Uh. It's definitely getting worse.
- 00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:15,736 All right. Is your tongue swelling up?
- 00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:19,072 [lN NASALLY VOICE] Either that or my mouth is getting smaller!
- 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:21,825 -Get your coat. We'll to the hospital. -Uh.
- 00:03:21,993 --> 00:03:24,286 -Will he be okay? -He's gotta get a shot.
- 00:03:24,454 --> 00:03:27,873 Uh, you know, actually, it's getting better. lt is.
- 00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:30,459 Let's not go. Anyone up for Scrabble?
- 00:03:31,502 --> 00:03:33,295 Jacket, now!
- 00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:37,090 What about Ben? We can't bring a baby to the hospital.
- 00:03:37,258 --> 00:03:38,592 We'll watch him.
- 00:03:38,801 --> 00:03:41,470 Uh. Ha, I don't think so.
- 00:03:42,555 --> 00:03:46,308 What? I have seven Catholic sisters. I've taken care of hundreds of kids.
- 00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:49,311 Come on, we want to do it. Don't we?
- 00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:51,605 I was gonna play basketball...
- 00:03:51,814 --> 00:03:53,732 ...but I guess that's out the window.
- 00:03:54,943 --> 00:03:58,070 If you take him out for a walk, remember to bring his hat.
- 00:03:58,279 --> 00:04:01,156 There's milk in the refrigerator and diapers in the bag.
- 00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:03,951 Hat, milk.... Got it!
- 00:04:04,118 --> 00:04:05,661 -Let's go. -Okay.
- 00:04:05,870 --> 00:04:07,579 [SPEAKlNG INDlSTlNCTLY]
- 00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:14,836 JOEY: Consider it done!
- 00:04:15,004 --> 00:04:16,213 You understood?
- 00:04:16,381 --> 00:04:19,174 My uncle Sal has a really big tongue.
- 00:04:21,135 --> 00:04:23,595 Is he the one with the beautiful wife?
- 00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:30,352 Hey, Rach.
- 00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:33,021 You want to hear the song I'm singing this afternoon?
- 00:04:33,189 --> 00:04:36,066 -I wrote it this morning in the shower. -Okay.
- 00:04:36,234 --> 00:04:37,776 [PHOEBE CLEARS THROAT]
- 00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:42,572 [SlNGlNG] I'm in the shower and I'm writing a song
- 00:04:43,074 --> 00:04:46,868 Stop me if you've heard it
- 00:04:48,329 --> 00:04:52,916 My skin is soapy and my hair is wet
- 00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:57,504 And Tegrin spelled backward is nirget
- 00:04:59,716 --> 00:05:01,049 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:05:01,259 --> 00:05:05,387 Uh, Rachel, sweetheart, could I see you for a minute?
- 00:05:07,598 --> 00:05:08,807 [CLEARS THROAT]
- 00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:10,684 RACHEL: What's up? -Uh....
- 00:05:10,852 --> 00:05:12,728 FYl:
- 00:05:12,895 --> 00:05:16,982 I've decided to pay a professional musician to play here on Sundays.
- 00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:21,403 Her name is Stephanie something. Uh, she's supposed to be very good.
- 00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:23,280 But what about Phoebe?
- 00:05:23,448 --> 00:05:27,367 Rachel, uh, it's not that your friend is bad.
- 00:05:28,202 --> 00:05:30,454 It's that she's so bad...
- 00:05:31,914 --> 00:05:36,626 ...she makes me want to put my finger through my eye into my brain...
- 00:05:36,794 --> 00:05:38,587 ...and swirl it around.
- 00:05:40,548 --> 00:05:43,091 Okay, so you're not a fan.
- 00:05:43,801 --> 00:05:46,762 But, I mean, come on. You cannot do this to her.
- 00:05:46,971 --> 00:05:48,388 Uh.
- 00:05:48,598 --> 00:05:50,515 Oh, no, no, no.
- 00:05:50,683 --> 00:05:52,434 -I have to do this to her? -Mm-hm.
- 00:05:52,602 --> 00:05:54,770 Lather, rinse, repeat
- 00:05:54,937 --> 00:06:00,817 And lather, rinse, repeat
- 00:06:00,985 --> 00:06:02,778 As needed
- 00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:11,078 We didn't bring enough stuff.
- 00:06:11,245 --> 00:06:13,747 Did you forget to pack the baby's anvil?
- 00:06:13,956 --> 00:06:15,999 I'm telling you, it'll be worth it.
- 00:06:16,167 --> 00:06:19,252 It's a known fact that women love babies, all right?
- 00:06:19,420 --> 00:06:22,923 Women love guys who love babies. It's the sensitive thing.
- 00:06:23,758 --> 00:06:27,636 Aim him at that pack of babes. Maybe one of them will break away.
- 00:06:28,346 --> 00:06:31,765 Wait, forget them. We got one. Hard left.
- 00:06:31,933 --> 00:06:33,725 -Give me the baby. -No, I got him.
- 00:06:33,893 --> 00:06:35,185 Come on, seriously.
- 00:06:35,353 --> 00:06:37,229 Oh, seriously, you want him?
- 00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:39,314 Hello.
- 00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:41,024 BOTH: Hello.
- 00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:43,652 Who is this little cutie-pie?
- 00:06:43,820 --> 00:06:46,655 Well, don't think me immodest, but...
- 00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:48,281 ...me.
- 00:06:48,449 --> 00:06:49,533 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:50,784 Want to smell him?
- 00:06:50,952 --> 00:06:53,120 I assume we're talking about the baby?
- 00:06:54,580 --> 00:06:55,664 Oh, yeah. Ha, ha.
- 00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:59,126 He's got that great baby smell. Get a whiff of his head.
- 00:06:59,919 --> 00:07:01,044 [SNIFFS]
- 00:07:01,212 --> 00:07:03,213 My uterus just skipped a beat.
- 00:07:04,298 --> 00:07:05,674 [WHlSPERS] What'd I tell you?
- 00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:07,384 It's great you're doing this.
- 00:07:07,552 --> 00:07:09,928 Well, we are great guys.
- 00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:13,056 My brother and his boyfriend have been trying to adopt.
- 00:07:13,224 --> 00:07:15,016 What agency did you two go through?
- 00:07:18,146 --> 00:07:19,479 [BEN WHlMPERS]
- 00:07:20,231 --> 00:07:21,982 But this is my gig.
- 00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:23,483 This is where I play.
- 00:07:23,693 --> 00:07:26,361 My name is written out there in chalk.
- 00:07:26,529 --> 00:07:29,156 You know, you can't just erase chalk.
- 00:07:32,535 --> 00:07:33,910 Honey, I'm sorry.
- 00:07:34,078 --> 00:07:36,371 And he's going to be paying this woman?
- 00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:39,458 Why doesn't he just give her a throne and a crown?
- 00:07:39,625 --> 00:07:44,754 And, like, you know, a gold stick with a ball on top?
- 00:07:45,381 --> 00:07:49,134 Terry is a jerk! That's why we always say, "Terry's a jerk!"
- 00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:52,053 That's where that came from.
- 00:07:53,097 --> 00:07:54,347 Yeah, okay.
- 00:07:54,515 --> 00:07:57,058 You probably did everything you could.
- 00:07:58,519 --> 00:08:02,105 You know what? Let me just see what else I can do.
- 00:08:03,649 --> 00:08:04,900 All right, look, look.
- 00:08:05,067 --> 00:08:08,069 Just let her go on after Stephanie whatever her name is.
- 00:08:08,237 --> 00:08:10,697 You won't be here. You don't pay her.
- 00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:12,574 I don't know.
- 00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:14,701 I'll clean the cappuccino machine!
- 00:08:14,869 --> 00:08:17,245 You don't clean the cappuccino machine?
- 00:08:17,413 --> 00:08:18,497 [SCOFFS]
- 00:08:18,664 --> 00:08:21,541 Of course I clean it.
- 00:08:21,709 --> 00:08:26,087 I mean, I will clean it.
- 00:08:26,255 --> 00:08:29,549 All right, fine, fine, fine!
- 00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:33,261 Oh.
- 00:08:34,388 --> 00:08:35,889 -Done. -Really?
- 00:08:36,057 --> 00:08:37,641 Who's working for you, babe?
- 00:08:37,808 --> 00:08:41,520 -Oh, my God! This is so exciting! RACHEL: I know.
- 00:08:41,687 --> 00:08:43,063 How much am I gonna get?
- 00:08:43,231 --> 00:08:44,606 What?
- 00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:47,317 He's paying the people who were playing.
- 00:08:47,485 --> 00:08:49,027 Oh, no, no, no.
- 00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:53,281 I meant, he's paying that other woman because she's a professional.
- 00:08:54,075 --> 00:08:56,660 I'm not gonna be the only one who's not getting paid.
- 00:08:57,078 --> 00:08:58,161 But, Pheebs--
- 00:08:58,329 --> 00:08:59,621 Uh-uh, I'm sorry, no!
- 00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:04,417 No, I'm not some sloppy second, you know, charity band.
- 00:09:04,585 --> 00:09:07,003 There are thousands of places in this city...
- 00:09:07,171 --> 00:09:10,090 ...where people would pay to hear me play.
- 00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:12,175 PHOEBE [SlNGING]: When I play, I play for me
- 00:09:12,343 --> 00:09:14,469 I don't need your charity
- 00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:15,929 Thank you!
- 00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:27,357 [lN NASALLY VOICE] I'm not getting a shot. Maybe they can take the needle...
- 00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:30,860 ...and squirt it into my mouth. Like a squirt gun.
- 00:09:31,779 --> 00:09:34,447 Hello there. I'm Dr. Carlin.
- 00:09:34,615 --> 00:09:38,618 I see someone's having a little allergic reaction.
- 00:09:38,786 --> 00:09:41,538 Doctor, can I see you for just a moment?
- 00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:47,168 My brother has a slight phobia about needles.
- 00:09:47,336 --> 00:09:49,337 Did you tell him about my squirt gun idea?
- 00:09:49,505 --> 00:09:51,256 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:09:51,757 --> 00:09:54,217 My brother, the Ph.D., would like to know...
- 00:09:54,385 --> 00:09:56,595 ...if there's any way to treat this orally?
- 00:09:56,762 --> 00:09:57,846 No.
- 00:09:58,014 --> 00:10:02,142 Under these circumstances, it has to be an injection, and it has to be now.
- 00:10:03,060 --> 00:10:04,603 So?
- 00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:06,438 Oh.
- 00:10:06,647 --> 00:10:10,817 Go and have a seat. Um, the doctor says it's got to be a needle.
- 00:10:10,985 --> 00:10:15,822 You're just going to have to be brave. Can you do that for me?
- 00:10:17,116 --> 00:10:18,450 -Okay. -Okay.
- 00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:21,453 Oh, boy! You are doing so good.
- 00:10:22,163 --> 00:10:23,246 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:25,165 -You want to squeeze my hand? -Yes.
- 00:10:26,334 --> 00:10:28,376 Ross, don't squeeze it so hard.
- 00:10:28,544 --> 00:10:30,879 Honey, really. Don't squeeze it so hard!
- 00:10:31,339 --> 00:10:33,173 [SHOUTS] Let go of my hand!
- 00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:39,054 Good plan. Next time we want to pick up women...
- 00:10:39,221 --> 00:10:42,140 ...we should go to the park and make out.
- 00:10:42,391 --> 00:10:44,017 Taxi! Taxi!
- 00:10:46,687 --> 00:10:49,064 Look at that talent.
- 00:10:50,566 --> 00:10:52,901 Just practicing. You're good.
- 00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:54,819 Carry on.
- 00:10:54,987 --> 00:10:57,030 JOEY: Wait, wait, wait!
- 00:10:57,198 --> 00:11:00,533 Hey, you. He's just adorable.
- 00:11:00,701 --> 00:11:05,038 Can you tell him that? Because he thinks he looks too pink.
- 00:11:05,206 --> 00:11:06,289 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:09,125 -What are you guys out doing today? -We're not out.
- 00:11:09,293 --> 00:11:11,252 No, no. No.
- 00:11:11,420 --> 00:11:14,297 We're two heterosexual guys hanging with the son...
- 00:11:14,465 --> 00:11:18,176 ...of our other heterosexual friend, doing the usual straight-guy stuff.
- 00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:19,844 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:11:20,012 --> 00:11:22,263 -You done? -Yeah.
- 00:11:22,431 --> 00:11:23,848 Oh, there's our stop.
- 00:11:24,350 --> 00:11:27,227 Get out of here! This is our stop.
- 00:11:27,395 --> 00:11:29,479 -You guys live around here too? -Yeah, sure.
- 00:11:29,647 --> 00:11:32,399 We live in the building by the, uh, sidewalk.
- 00:11:34,610 --> 00:11:35,860 You know it?
- 00:11:36,737 --> 00:11:41,533 Ha, ha. Since we're neighbors, what do you say we, uh, get together for a drink?
- 00:11:46,455 --> 00:11:48,707 So, uh, you want to go to MarkeI's?
- 00:11:49,375 --> 00:11:51,126 Oh, sure, they love us over there.
- 00:11:51,627 --> 00:11:53,044 Where's your baby?
- 00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:01,594 JOEY [SHOUTS]: Ben! Ben!
- 00:12:04,348 --> 00:12:06,433 Ben! Ben!
- 00:12:06,767 --> 00:12:10,562 That's good. Maybe he'll hear you and pull the cord!
- 00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:11,896 Stop the bus! Hey!
- 00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:15,525 JOEY: Hey, there's a baby! CHANDLER: Wait, wait, wait!
- 00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:20,280 [SlGHS]
- 00:12:20,990 --> 00:12:23,408 Are you sure he didn't break it? It hurts.
- 00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:25,994 No, it's just a good bone bruise.
- 00:12:26,162 --> 00:12:30,749 And right here is the puncture wound from your ring.
- 00:12:32,293 --> 00:12:35,211 -I'm really sorry. -It's okay.
- 00:12:35,379 --> 00:12:36,504 Sorry.
- 00:12:36,839 --> 00:12:40,467 Hmm, sorry! I got my S's back! Ha, ha.
- 00:12:41,177 --> 00:12:43,803 Which we can celebrate later.
- 00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:46,514 Celebrate. Celebrate....
- 00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:49,726 [SlNGlNG] He was a double, double
- 00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:52,562 Double-jointed boy
- 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:55,565 Hey.
- 00:12:55,733 --> 00:12:58,610 So, um, are you the professional guitar player?
- 00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:00,695 Yeah, I'm Stephanie.
- 00:13:00,863 --> 00:13:05,200 Oh, right. My name was on there, but now it just says carrot cake.
- 00:13:06,410 --> 00:13:07,660 Okay.
- 00:13:07,828 --> 00:13:10,288 So, um, how many chords do you know?
- 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:13,625 - All of them. -So you know D?
- 00:13:14,502 --> 00:13:16,920 -Yeah. -Do you know A-minor?
- 00:13:18,380 --> 00:13:19,756 -Yeah. -Okay.
- 00:13:19,924 --> 00:13:22,592 Do you know how to go from D to A-minor?
- 00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:23,968 [SCOFFS]
- 00:13:24,136 --> 00:13:26,596 -Yeah. -Okay.
- 00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:29,474 Um, so does your guitar have a strap?
- 00:13:31,393 --> 00:13:32,644 -No. -Oh.
- 00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:33,978 Mine does.
- 00:13:37,608 --> 00:13:39,984 [SlNGlNG] Stephanie knows all the chords
- 00:13:42,446 --> 00:13:44,197 Come on! Pick up, pick up!
- 00:13:44,365 --> 00:13:45,740 Hello. Ahem.
- 00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:47,826 Transit Authority? Yes, hello.
- 00:13:48,369 --> 00:13:50,161 I'm doing research for a book.
- 00:13:50,329 --> 00:13:54,165 I was wondering what somebody might do if they left a baby on a city bus.
- 00:13:54,875 --> 00:13:56,042 [CLEARS THROAT]
- 00:13:56,252 --> 00:13:58,878 Yes, I realize that would be a stupid character.
- 00:13:59,046 --> 00:14:01,798 Here's the deal: We lost a car seat on a bus.
- 00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:04,592 It's white plastic and it fits onto a stroller.
- 00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:07,220 Oh, and there was a baby in it.
- 00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:10,139 He wants to talk to you.
- 00:14:12,017 --> 00:14:15,520 Everybody, let's give a warm Central Perk welcome to--
- 00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:18,523 PHOEBE [SlNGING]: Terry's a jerk and he won't let me work
- 00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:20,650 And I hate Central Perk
- 00:14:23,904 --> 00:14:24,988 [CLEARS THROAT]
- 00:14:25,197 --> 00:14:27,448 Uh, to Stephanie Schiffer!
- 00:14:27,616 --> 00:14:29,325 Whoo!
- 00:14:29,493 --> 00:14:31,327 [CROWD APPLAUDlNG]
- 00:14:32,830 --> 00:14:37,041 I'd like to start with a song I wrote for the first man I ever loved.
- 00:14:40,588 --> 00:14:41,880 [SlNGlNG] Zachary--
- 00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:45,258 PHOEBE [SlNGING]: Are all invited to bite me
- 00:14:54,351 --> 00:14:58,062 BOTH: We're the guys that called about the baby! ls he here?!
- 00:14:58,564 --> 00:15:00,189 -He's here. - Aah!
- 00:15:02,985 --> 00:15:04,652 I assume one of you is the father.
- 00:15:04,820 --> 00:15:06,029 -That's me. -I'm him.
- 00:15:08,699 --> 00:15:12,911 Actually, uh, ahem, we're both the father.
- 00:15:21,837 --> 00:15:24,297 BOTH [IN UNlSON]: Oh, Ben! Hey, buddy.
- 00:15:24,506 --> 00:15:26,466 [BABY BABBLlNG]
- 00:15:29,136 --> 00:15:30,219 [LAUGHS]
- 00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:33,139 Please tell me you know which one is our baby.
- 00:15:34,808 --> 00:15:38,019 That one has ducks on his T-shirt and this one has clowns.
- 00:15:38,187 --> 00:15:40,271 And Ben was definitely wearing ducks.
- 00:15:40,439 --> 00:15:41,940 Or clowns.
- 00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:44,400 Oh, wait.
- 00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:47,820 That one's Ben! Remember he had that cute little mole by his mouth!
- 00:15:47,988 --> 00:15:49,072 -Yeah? -Yeah.
- 00:15:49,239 --> 00:15:51,282 Hey, Ben! Remember us?
- 00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:53,993 Okay, the mole came off.
- 00:15:55,371 --> 00:15:57,747 -What are we gonna do? -Uh.
- 00:15:58,666 --> 00:16:00,833 We'll flip for it. Ducks or clowns.
- 00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:03,127 -Flip for the baby? -You got a better idea?
- 00:16:03,295 --> 00:16:05,046 All right, call it in the air.
- 00:16:06,507 --> 00:16:07,840 Heads.
- 00:16:08,008 --> 00:16:09,384 -Heads, it is. -Yes.
- 00:16:09,551 --> 00:16:10,802 [WHlSTLES]
- 00:16:12,221 --> 00:16:14,222 We have to assign heads to something!
- 00:16:15,933 --> 00:16:17,684 Right! Okay.
- 00:16:17,851 --> 00:16:19,352 Okay, uh....
- 00:16:20,229 --> 00:16:23,815 Ducks is heads because ducks have heads.
- 00:16:28,570 --> 00:16:31,280 What kind of scary-ass clowns came to your birthday?
- 00:16:38,664 --> 00:16:43,626 Just call me angel Of the morning, angel
- 00:16:43,794 --> 00:16:48,631 Just touch my cheek Before you leave me, baby
- 00:16:48,799 --> 00:16:53,219 Just call me angel Of the morning, angel
- 00:16:53,387 --> 00:16:57,640 Then slowly turn away
- 00:16:58,183 --> 00:17:01,686 I won't beg you to stay
- 00:17:02,312 --> 00:17:04,522 With me
- 00:17:12,156 --> 00:17:14,699 -Hey -Oh, hi.
- 00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:17,660 Here. I thought you might be cold.
- 00:17:17,870 --> 00:17:19,537 Thank you.
- 00:17:20,622 --> 00:17:22,331 Oh.
- 00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:28,546 Oh, look at you! You did pretty well.
- 00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:31,841 $8.27.
- 00:17:32,009 --> 00:17:34,510 But not really, because I put in the first two.
- 00:17:36,180 --> 00:17:40,433 Just to get the ball rolling and to make myself feel better.
- 00:17:40,601 --> 00:17:41,809 Do you?
- 00:17:41,977 --> 00:17:43,436 No.
- 00:17:43,604 --> 00:17:47,899 You know, this whole playing for money thing is so not good for me.
- 00:17:48,942 --> 00:17:51,652 I don't know, when l sang "Su-su-suicide"...
- 00:17:52,988 --> 00:17:56,574 ...I got, like, $1 .75.
- 00:17:56,992 --> 00:17:58,910 But then "Smelly Cat"? Oh.
- 00:18:00,829 --> 00:18:03,956 I got 25 cents and a condom.
- 00:18:05,459 --> 00:18:09,170 So, you know, now I just feel really bad for "Smelly Cat."
- 00:18:10,422 --> 00:18:11,547 Well, you know.
- 00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:15,885 Honey, I don't think everybody gets "Smelly Cat."
- 00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:22,183 I mean, if all you've ever actually had are healthy pets, then whoosh!
- 00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:25,478 But it's not even that, you know?
- 00:18:25,687 --> 00:18:28,523 I used to do my songs because it made me happy.
- 00:18:28,690 --> 00:18:32,693 Now it's just all about the money, you know?
- 00:18:35,322 --> 00:18:37,490 Well, people missed you in there.
- 00:18:37,699 --> 00:18:40,910 In fact, there was actually a request for "Smelly Cat."
- 00:18:41,078 --> 00:18:42,787 Really? From who?
- 00:18:43,330 --> 00:18:44,664 Well, me.
- 00:18:46,291 --> 00:18:50,461 And I know it's not your big money song, but it's my favorite.
- 00:18:53,340 --> 00:18:54,549 Hi.
- 00:18:54,716 --> 00:18:57,176 Uh. Did I accidentally drop a condom in your case?
- 00:19:01,890 --> 00:19:03,432 It's kind of an emergency.
- 00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:05,059 PHOEBE: Yeah.
- 00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:06,769 -Here you go. -Thanks a lot.
- 00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:09,230 Hey, Christine! I got it!
- 00:19:15,571 --> 00:19:18,364 I want to thank you for being there for me.
- 00:19:18,574 --> 00:19:20,950 And I'm sorry I almost broke your hand. Ha, ha.
- 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:24,245 That's okay. I'm sorry I poisoned you.
- 00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:25,705 Mm.
- 00:19:25,873 --> 00:19:29,167 Remember the time I jammed that pencil into your hand?
- 00:19:29,334 --> 00:19:33,129 Remember it? What do you think this is, a freckle?
- 00:19:33,297 --> 00:19:34,589 Oh.
- 00:19:34,756 --> 00:19:38,593 What about the time I hit you in the face with Sylvian's pumpkin?
- 00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:41,179 Remember when I stuck that broom in your spokes...
- 00:19:41,346 --> 00:19:43,890 ...and you hit your head on the curb?
- 00:19:44,057 --> 00:19:45,308 No.
- 00:19:45,475 --> 00:19:47,143 But I remember people telling me about it.
- 00:19:47,311 --> 00:19:48,728 Oh.
- 00:19:49,646 --> 00:19:51,731 I hope Ben has a little sister.
- 00:19:51,899 --> 00:19:53,316 Yeah.
- 00:19:53,483 --> 00:19:55,526 And I hope she can kick his ass.
- 00:19:55,694 --> 00:19:56,819 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:19:56,987 --> 00:19:58,863 I'm gonna get a new Band-Aid.
- 00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:02,825 How about the time I cut the legs off your Malibu Ken?
- 00:20:03,493 --> 00:20:04,911 MONICA: That was you?
- 00:20:06,121 --> 00:20:07,205 Uh.
- 00:20:07,414 --> 00:20:10,499 They were infected. He wouldn't have made it.
- 00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:14,420 Aw.
- 00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:16,005 My little nephew.
- 00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:17,924 Come here, little one!
- 00:20:18,592 --> 00:20:22,386 Oh. There's my little baby, Ben!
- 00:20:22,554 --> 00:20:25,014 Hey, my little boy. Oh.
- 00:20:26,516 --> 00:20:29,018 Hey, he's not crying!
- 00:20:29,186 --> 00:20:31,020 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:20:32,731 --> 00:20:34,732 Hey, he's not crying!
- 00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:36,359 [CHUCKLES HESlTANTLY]
- 00:20:36,526 --> 00:20:37,902 [BEN CRYlNG]
- 00:20:38,111 --> 00:20:39,862 Yes.
- 00:20:40,948 --> 00:20:43,282 There's still pie! Ha-ha-ha.
- 00:20:44,159 --> 00:20:46,535 I'm here. I'm here.
- 00:20:46,703 --> 00:20:49,121 Uh. How's my little boy, huh?
- 00:20:49,623 --> 00:20:53,751 You want Daddy to change your diaper? I know, I know.
- 00:20:54,628 --> 00:20:58,047 Did you have fun with, uh, Uncle Joey and Uncle Chandler today?
- 00:20:58,215 --> 00:20:59,298 JOEY: Oh, yeah.
- 00:20:59,466 --> 00:21:01,842 -He rode the bus today. ROSS: Ooh.
- 00:21:04,054 --> 00:21:05,346 Well.
- 00:21:05,555 --> 00:21:08,516 Big boy riding the bus--
- 00:21:09,226 --> 00:21:11,018 Hey, I have a question.
- 00:21:13,605 --> 00:21:16,732 How come it says, "Property of Human Services"?
- 00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:20,861 You....
- 00:21:21,655 --> 00:21:23,239 You are gonna love this.
- 00:21:23,407 --> 00:21:24,824 [BOTH CHUCKLE]
- 00:21:24,992 --> 00:21:26,492 Can you hold Ben for a sec?
- 00:21:27,327 --> 00:21:28,411 Come here. Come here.
- 00:21:28,578 --> 00:21:31,664 Stay back! I've got kiwi! Run, Joey, run!
- 00:21:37,921 --> 00:21:40,965 [SlNGlNG] Smelly cat, smelly cat
- 00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:43,551 What are they feeding you?
- 00:21:44,094 --> 00:21:45,553 No, no. I'm sorry, it's, ahem:
- 00:21:45,721 --> 00:21:48,723 [SlNGlNG] Smelly cat, smelly cat
- 00:21:51,601 --> 00:21:53,019 [CLEARS THROAT]
- 00:21:53,228 --> 00:21:56,814 [SlNGlNG] Smelly cat, smelly cat
- 00:21:57,274 --> 00:21:58,607 -Better! STEPHANlE: Yeah?
- 00:21:58,775 --> 00:21:59,859 Much better. Good.
- 00:22:00,068 --> 00:22:02,653 Don't feel bad, because it's a hard song.
- 00:22:02,821 --> 00:22:04,113 Yeah.
- 00:22:04,823 --> 00:22:07,533 -You want to try it again? -From the top?
- 00:22:07,701 --> 00:22:09,785 There is no "top," all right?
- 00:22:09,953 --> 00:22:12,872 That's the beauty of "Smelly Cat."
- 00:22:14,916 --> 00:22:17,209 Um. Ahem. Why don't you just follow me?
- 00:22:17,461 --> 00:22:18,919 -Okay. PHOEBE: Mm-hm.
- 00:22:19,129 --> 00:22:22,715 BOTH [SINGlNG]: Smelly cat, smelly cat
- 00:22:22,883 --> 00:22:25,801 What are they feeding you?
- 00:22:26,553 --> 00:22:29,513 Smelly cat, smelly cat
- 00:22:29,681 --> 00:22:32,808 It's not your fault
- 00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:36,103 That's too much. Sorry.
- 00:22:44,488 --> 00:22:46,489 [English - US - SDH]
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