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Эпизод с пятью бифштексами и баклажаном
The One with Five Steaks and an Eggplant
Сезон: 02Серия: 05
Описание
Когда привлекательная женщина по имени Джейд (Бриттни Пауэлл) звонит не по тому номеру, Чендлер пытается воспользоваться ситуацией, что в конечном итоге приводит к неловким последствиям. Разница в доходах разделяет друзей: более обеспеченные Росс, Чендлер и Моника противостоят менее состоятельным Фиби, Рэйчел и Джои. Недавно получившая повышение Моника увольняется после того, как принимает «подарки» от поставщика мяса для своего ресторана, что противоречит политике ресторана в отношении откатов. Моника, Росс и Чендлер идут в ресторан Hootie & the Blowfish на день рождения Росса.
Субтитры
- 00:00:04,337 --> 00:00:06,797 [ANNOUNCER SPEAKING lN SPANlSH ON TV]
- 00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:09,425 Man, I sure miss Julie.
- 00:00:09,634 --> 00:00:11,427 Spanish midgets.
- 00:00:12,095 --> 00:00:14,763 Spanish midgets wrestling....
- 00:00:15,890 --> 00:00:18,517 Julie. Okay, yes, I see how you got there.
- 00:00:18,768 --> 00:00:20,436 [PHONE RINGlNG]
- 00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:27,484 You ever figure out what that thing's for?
- 00:00:27,736 --> 00:00:29,653 No, see, I'm trying this screening thing.
- 00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:33,532 I figure if I always answer the phone, people will think I don't have a life.
- 00:00:33,950 --> 00:00:36,035 My God. Rodrigo never gets pinned.
- 00:00:36,286 --> 00:00:38,912 JOEY [ON RECORDlNG]: Here comes the beep. You know what to do.
- 00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:40,956 JADE [OVER MACHINE]: Hello. I'm looking for Bob.
- 00:00:41,124 --> 00:00:42,332 This is Jade.
- 00:00:42,584 --> 00:00:45,753 I don't know if you're still at this number, but I was just thinking about us...
- 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:50,049 ...and how great it was, and, well, I know it's been three years...
- 00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:52,676 ...but I was kind of hoping we could hook up again.
- 00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:55,888 You know, I barely had the nerve to make this call...
- 00:00:56,139 --> 00:00:58,307 -...so you know what I did? -What?
- 00:00:58,516 --> 00:01:00,517 I got a little drunk...
- 00:01:00,685 --> 00:01:01,727 ...and naked.
- 00:01:01,936 --> 00:01:03,228 [lN DEEP VOICE] Bob here.
- 00:01:51,903 --> 00:01:54,738 [lN DEEP VOICE] So, uh, what have you been up to?
- 00:01:54,948 --> 00:01:56,615 JADE: Oh, you know, the usual.
- 00:01:56,866 --> 00:01:58,158 Teaching aerobics...
- 00:01:59,077 --> 00:02:01,203 ...partying way too much. Heh.
- 00:02:01,621 --> 00:02:03,288 Oh, and in case you were wondering...
- 00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:07,459 ...those are my legs on the new James Bond poster.
- 00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:12,881 Can you hold on a moment? I have another call.
- 00:02:13,091 --> 00:02:14,758 -I love her. -I know.
- 00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:19,138 -I'm back. JADE: So are we gonna get together?
- 00:02:19,347 --> 00:02:20,764 Uh, absolutely.
- 00:02:20,932 --> 00:02:22,641 Uh, how about tomorrow afternoon?
- 00:02:22,851 --> 00:02:25,561 Do you know, uh, Central Perk in the village? Say, five-ish?
- 00:02:25,770 --> 00:02:28,647 JADE: Great. I'll see you then. -Okay.
- 00:02:30,275 --> 00:02:31,775 [lN NORMAL VOICE] Okay.
- 00:02:32,318 --> 00:02:34,528 Having a phone has finally paid off.
- 00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:39,116 Even though you do do a good Bob impression...
- 00:02:39,325 --> 00:02:41,118 ...I'm thinking when she sees you tomorrow...
- 00:02:41,286 --> 00:02:43,620 ...she's probably gonna realize, hey, you're not Bob.
- 00:02:45,498 --> 00:02:47,207 I am hoping that when Bob doesn't show up...
- 00:02:47,375 --> 00:02:52,337 ...she will seek comfort in the open arms of the wry stranger at the next table.
- 00:02:52,547 --> 00:02:55,299 Oh, my God. You are pure evil.
- 00:02:56,634 --> 00:02:58,177 Okay, pure evil...
- 00:02:59,053 --> 00:03:00,637 ...horny and alone.
- 00:03:03,641 --> 00:03:05,058 I've done this.
- 00:03:11,566 --> 00:03:13,358 Yeah, yeah, everybody's here.
- 00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:16,820 Hey, everybody. Say hi to Julie in New Mexico.
- 00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:18,030 ALL: Hi, Julie.
- 00:03:18,281 --> 00:03:19,781 RACHEL [MOCKlNGLY]: Hi, Julie.
- 00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:23,243 Okay. While Ross is on the phone...
- 00:03:23,411 --> 00:03:25,412 ...everybody owes me 62 bucks for his birthday.
- 00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:30,292 Um, is there any chance that you're rounding up from...
- 00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:34,838 ...you know, from like 20?
- 00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:38,800 Hey, come on, we got the gift, the concert and the cake.
- 00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:40,719 Do we need a cake?
- 00:03:42,388 --> 00:03:43,847 Look, I know it's a little steep.
- 00:03:44,390 --> 00:03:45,515 Whoosh.
- 00:03:47,101 --> 00:03:48,602 But it's Ross.
- 00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:52,231 -Yeah, it's Ross. JOEY: Yeah, you're right.
- 00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:54,691 All right? Okay. I'll see you later. I gotta go...
- 00:03:54,943 --> 00:03:56,568 ...do a thing.
- 00:03:57,987 --> 00:03:59,780 Okay, sweetheart, I'll call you later tonight.
- 00:03:59,948 --> 00:04:02,908 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, you're not really going through with this, are you?
- 00:04:03,284 --> 00:04:05,535 You know, I think I might just.
- 00:04:07,956 --> 00:04:10,707 So, uh, what are you guys doing for dinner tonight?
- 00:04:12,001 --> 00:04:14,962 Well, I guess I gotta start saving up for Ross' birthday.
- 00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:18,840 So I guess I'll just stay home and eat dust bunnies.
- 00:04:19,133 --> 00:04:21,468 Can you believe how much this is gonna cost?
- 00:04:22,011 --> 00:04:24,930 Do you guys ever get the feeling that, um...
- 00:04:25,181 --> 00:04:26,556 ...Chandler and those guys...
- 00:04:27,141 --> 00:04:29,935 ...just don't get that we don't make as much money as they do?
- 00:04:30,144 --> 00:04:31,311 -Yes. RACHEL: Really?
- 00:04:31,479 --> 00:04:34,314 It's like they're always saying, "Let's go here, let's go there."
- 00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:37,734 -Like we can afford to go here and there. -Yeah.
- 00:04:37,902 --> 00:04:42,114 Yes, and we always have to go to, you know, someplace nice, you know?
- 00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:47,160 It's not like we can say anything about it, because, like, this is a birthday thing...
- 00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:48,745 ...you know, and it's for Ross.
- 00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:50,414 -For Ross. -For Ross.
- 00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:54,293 Oh, my God.
- 00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:55,627 -Hi. -What?
- 00:04:55,837 --> 00:04:57,629 Okay. I'm at work...
- 00:04:57,797 --> 00:05:01,008 ...just an ordinary day, you know, chop, chop, saute, saute.
- 00:05:01,884 --> 00:05:04,970 All of a sudden, Leon, the manager, calls me into his office.
- 00:05:05,221 --> 00:05:08,181 Turns out they fired the head lunch chef, and guess who got the job.
- 00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:11,184 If it's not you, this is a horrible story.
- 00:05:12,603 --> 00:05:14,730 -Fortunately, it is me. -Oh.
- 00:05:14,897 --> 00:05:17,357 And they made me head of purchasing, thank you very much.
- 00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:19,192 That's so cool.
- 00:05:19,694 --> 00:05:22,612 Anyway, I just ran into Chandler and Ross. We should go out and celebrate.
- 00:05:22,822 --> 00:05:23,864 You know, someplace nice.
- 00:05:30,371 --> 00:05:31,872 -Someplace nice. RACHEL: Yeah.
- 00:05:32,248 --> 00:05:34,833 How much you think I can get for my kidney?
- 00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:43,300 I'm telling you, you can't do this.
- 00:05:43,468 --> 00:05:47,512 Oh, come on, I can't get a girl like that with conventional methods.
- 00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:48,805 That doesn't matter.
- 00:05:48,973 --> 00:05:50,349 She wanted to call Bob.
- 00:05:50,516 --> 00:05:53,894 Hey, for all we know, Bob is who she was meant to be with.
- 00:05:54,103 --> 00:05:57,022 You may be destroying two people's chance for happiness.
- 00:05:57,231 --> 00:05:58,732 We don't know Bob.
- 00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:03,153 Okay? We know me. We like me. Please let me be happy.
- 00:06:04,530 --> 00:06:07,491 Go over there and tell that woman the truth.
- 00:06:08,618 --> 00:06:09,659 All right.
- 00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:12,162 Go.
- 00:06:19,587 --> 00:06:22,255 Hi.
- 00:06:23,341 --> 00:06:25,092 Listen, I have to, uh, ahem--
- 00:06:25,259 --> 00:06:27,219 I have to confess something.
- 00:06:27,762 --> 00:06:29,513 Yes?
- 00:06:31,307 --> 00:06:33,725 Whoever stood you up is a jerk.
- 00:06:34,685 --> 00:06:36,770 -How did you-- -I don't know.
- 00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:43,193 I just had this weird sense. You know? But that's me, I'm weird and sensitive.
- 00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:47,364 Tissue?
- 00:06:48,366 --> 00:06:49,408 Thanks.
- 00:06:50,993 --> 00:06:52,744 No, no, you keep the pack.
- 00:06:53,538 --> 00:06:55,080 I'm all cried out today.
- 00:06:55,581 --> 00:06:57,124 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:07:06,050 --> 00:07:08,260 [GLASS CLlNKlNG] [ROSS CLEARS THROAT]
- 00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:10,011 Okay, okay.
- 00:07:10,972 --> 00:07:14,391 Here is to my sister, the newly appointed head lunch chef.
- 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:16,560 Who is also in charge of purchasing.
- 00:07:16,769 --> 00:07:19,688 Newly appointed head lunch chef, also in charge of purchasing--
- 00:07:19,939 --> 00:07:23,191 Who has her own little desk when Roland's not there.
- 00:07:23,901 --> 00:07:27,821 Uh, lunch chef, purchasing, own little desk when Roland's not there...
- 00:07:28,030 --> 00:07:31,116 -...here's to my little sister-- -Oh, wait. And I got a beeper.
- 00:07:31,367 --> 00:07:32,534 Oh, cool.
- 00:07:34,662 --> 00:07:37,247 -That's fine, I'll just wait. -Aw, sorry.
- 00:07:37,415 --> 00:07:39,040 JOEY: Oh, sorry, sorry.
- 00:07:39,667 --> 00:07:40,750 Monica.
- 00:07:40,918 --> 00:07:42,377 [ALL CHEER]
- 00:07:43,796 --> 00:07:45,172 Are we ready to order?
- 00:07:45,381 --> 00:07:47,007 Oh. You know, we haven't even looked yet.
- 00:07:47,258 --> 00:07:48,884 Well, when you do, just let me know.
- 00:07:49,093 --> 00:07:51,011 I'll be right over there on the edge of my seat.
- 00:07:57,435 --> 00:07:58,935 Wow, look at these prices.
- 00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:01,771 Yeah, these are pretty "cha-ching."
- 00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:05,775 I know. What are these, famous chickens?
- 00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:09,738 -Sorry I'm late. Congratulations, Mon. -Thanks.
- 00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:13,074 I'm not sorry I'm late. How incredible was my afternoon with Jade?
- 00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:17,662 Well, pretty incredible, according to the message she left on my machine.
- 00:08:18,414 --> 00:08:22,626 Hey, Chandler, why is this woman leaving a message for you on my machine?
- 00:08:22,835 --> 00:08:24,961 See, I had to tell her that my number was your number.
- 00:08:25,129 --> 00:08:26,922 I couldn't tell her my number was my number...
- 00:08:27,089 --> 00:08:30,133 ...because she thinks my number is Bob's number.
- 00:08:31,427 --> 00:08:34,930 Hey, tell me again. What do I do when Mr. Roper calls?
- 00:08:36,557 --> 00:08:37,724 Do I dare ask?
- 00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:41,353 Yes, I'll start with the carpaccio, and then I'll have the grilled prawns.
- 00:08:41,562 --> 00:08:42,896 That sounds great, same for me.
- 00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:44,940 And for the gentleman?
- 00:08:45,107 --> 00:08:46,775 Yeah, I'll have the Thai chicken pizza.
- 00:08:46,984 --> 00:08:50,111 But, hey, look, if I get it without the nuts and leeks and stuff...
- 00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:52,239 ...is it cheaper?
- 00:08:52,490 --> 00:08:54,741 You'd think, wouldn't you?
- 00:08:55,284 --> 00:08:57,077 -Miss? -Okay.
- 00:08:57,328 --> 00:08:58,745 I will have the, uh...
- 00:08:58,913 --> 00:09:00,205 [WHlSPERS] ...side salad.
- 00:09:00,957 --> 00:09:03,083 [WHlSPERS] And what would that be on the side of?
- 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,043 I don't know.
- 00:09:05,253 --> 00:09:08,255 Why don't you just put it right here next to my water?
- 00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:12,050 And for you?
- 00:09:12,343 --> 00:09:16,846 Um, I'm gonna have a cup of the cucumber soup...
- 00:09:17,014 --> 00:09:19,683 ...and, um...
- 00:09:20,434 --> 00:09:21,851 ...take care.
- 00:09:24,730 --> 00:09:27,899 -I will have the, uh, Cajun catfish. -Anything else?
- 00:09:28,150 --> 00:09:30,068 Yes, how about a verse of "Killing Me Softly"?
- 00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:31,653 [JOEY CHUCKLES]
- 00:09:32,989 --> 00:09:35,615 You're gonna sneeze in my fish, aren't you?
- 00:09:41,330 --> 00:09:43,999 ROSS: Plus tip, divided by six....
- 00:09:45,126 --> 00:09:47,210 Okay, everyone owes 28 bucks.
- 00:09:48,838 --> 00:09:50,255 Um, everyone?
- 00:09:51,048 --> 00:09:53,258 Oh. You're right, I'm sorry.
- 00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:54,467 JOEY: Thank you.
- 00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:56,344 It's Monica's big night. She shouldn't pay.
- 00:09:56,512 --> 00:09:58,597 Aw, thank you.
- 00:09:58,764 --> 00:10:00,473 ROSS: So five of us is...
- 00:10:01,517 --> 00:10:03,226 ...33.50 apiece.
- 00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:05,895 No. Uh-uh. No way. Sorry, not gonna happen.
- 00:10:06,188 --> 00:10:08,982 Whoa. Whoa. Prom night flashback.
- 00:10:11,193 --> 00:10:13,987 Sorry, Monica. I'm really happy you got promoted...
- 00:10:14,196 --> 00:10:17,407 ...but cold cucumber mush for 30-something bucks?
- 00:10:17,575 --> 00:10:18,617 No.
- 00:10:19,994 --> 00:10:22,537 Rachel just had that little salad...
- 00:10:22,747 --> 00:10:26,082 ...and Joey with his, like, teeny pizza.
- 00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,209 Okay, Pheebs.
- 00:10:28,794 --> 00:10:31,504 How about we'll each just pay for what we had, okay?
- 00:10:31,714 --> 00:10:34,132 -It's no big deal. -Not for you.
- 00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,180 All right, what's going on?
- 00:10:41,182 --> 00:10:43,516 Okay, look, I really don't wanna get into this right now.
- 00:10:43,684 --> 00:10:46,895 -It'll just make everybody uncomfortable. -Oh, fine. All right, fine.
- 00:10:47,104 --> 00:10:49,230 -What? Whoa, whoa. -You can tell us.
- 00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:52,275 Yeah, hello? It's us. All right? We'll be fine.
- 00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:58,281 Ahem. Okay, um....
- 00:10:59,575 --> 00:11:03,328 Uh, we three feel like that, uh, ahem...
- 00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:08,208 ...sometimes you guys don't get that, uh, ahem....
- 00:11:14,548 --> 00:11:16,966 We don't have as much money as you.
- 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:23,181 -Okay. -I hear you.
- 00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:25,934 We can talk about that.
- 00:11:26,977 --> 00:11:28,228 Well, then...
- 00:11:29,980 --> 00:11:31,147 ...let's.
- 00:11:32,733 --> 00:11:38,196 Well, um, I guess I just never think of money as an issue.
- 00:11:38,406 --> 00:11:40,573 -That's because you have it. -That's a good point.
- 00:11:42,910 --> 00:11:46,663 So, um, how come you guys haven't talked about this before?
- 00:11:46,872 --> 00:11:50,041 Because it's always something, you know? Like with Monica's new job...
- 00:11:50,209 --> 00:11:53,086 ...or the whole Ross' birthday hoopla.
- 00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:55,213 What? Whoa, hey.
- 00:11:55,381 --> 00:11:59,926 I don't want my birthday to be the source of any kind of negative....
- 00:12:00,136 --> 00:12:02,011 There's gonna be a hoopla?
- 00:12:04,598 --> 00:12:09,102 Basically there's the thing, and then the stuff after the thing and it's--
- 00:12:09,895 --> 00:12:12,814 If it makes anybody feel better, we can just forget the thing...
- 00:12:13,023 --> 00:12:15,066 ...and we'll just do the gift.
- 00:12:15,276 --> 00:12:17,902 Gift? The thing's not the gift?
- 00:12:18,863 --> 00:12:21,906 No, the thing was we were gonna go see Hootie and the Blowfish.
- 00:12:22,074 --> 00:12:25,869 Hootie and the-- Oh, my-- I can catch them on the radio.
- 00:12:26,871 --> 00:12:30,039 No. Now I feel bad. You wanna go to the concert.
- 00:12:30,249 --> 00:12:32,667 No, look, hey, it's my birthday...
- 00:12:32,877 --> 00:12:36,045 ...and the important thing is that we all be together.
- 00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:37,422 - All of us. -Together.
- 00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:39,215 Not at the concert.
- 00:12:41,135 --> 00:12:43,219 -Okay. Thank you. -Thanks.
- 00:12:43,387 --> 00:12:44,637 Yeah.
- 00:12:50,644 --> 00:12:53,938 So, the Ebola virus. That's gotta suck, huh?
- 00:12:58,694 --> 00:13:00,570 Gee, Monica. What's in the bag?
- 00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:03,323 I don't know, Chandler. Let's take a look.
- 00:13:03,532 --> 00:13:05,450 Oh, it's like a skit.
- 00:13:07,077 --> 00:13:09,871 Why, it's dinner for six. Five steaks...
- 00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:12,415 ...and an eggplant for Phoebe.
- 00:13:14,543 --> 00:13:18,421 We switched meat suppliers at work, and they gave me the steaks as a thank-you.
- 00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:22,842 But wait, there's more. Hey, Chandler, what is in that envelope?
- 00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:26,930 By the way, this didn't seem so dorky out in the hall.
- 00:13:27,097 --> 00:13:28,348 Come on.
- 00:13:29,099 --> 00:13:32,018 Why, it's six tickets to Hootie and the Blowfish.
- 00:13:35,147 --> 00:13:36,648 The Blowfish.
- 00:13:38,567 --> 00:13:42,278 It's on us, all right? So don't worry. This is our treat.
- 00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:45,031 So...thank you.
- 00:13:46,951 --> 00:13:47,992 [ROSS CHUCKLES]
- 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:49,869 Could you be less enthused?
- 00:13:50,079 --> 00:13:52,497 Look, it's a nice gesture. lt is.
- 00:13:52,748 --> 00:13:54,499 But it just feels like....
- 00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:56,000 Like?
- 00:13:56,794 --> 00:13:58,962 -Charity. -Charity?
- 00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:01,548 We're just trying to do a nice thing here.
- 00:14:01,757 --> 00:14:05,844 But, Ross, you have to understand, your nice thing makes us feel about this big.
- 00:14:06,095 --> 00:14:09,013 Actually, it makes us feel that big.
- 00:14:10,182 --> 00:14:14,811 What? I don't understand. I mean, it's like we can't win with you guys.
- 00:14:15,062 --> 00:14:18,147 If you guys feel this big, maybe that's not our fault.
- 00:14:18,399 --> 00:14:20,233 Maybe that's just how you feel.
- 00:14:20,985 --> 00:14:22,402 Oh.
- 00:14:23,153 --> 00:14:28,074 -Now you're telling us how we feel. -We never should have talked about this.
- 00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:29,993 I'm gonna pass on the concert...
- 00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:33,538 ...because I'm just not in a very Hootie place right now.
- 00:14:36,625 --> 00:14:38,376 -Me neither. -Me too.
- 00:14:38,794 --> 00:14:40,837 Guys, we bought the tickets.
- 00:14:41,088 --> 00:14:44,591 Well, then you'll have extra seats, you know, for all your tiaras and stuff.
- 00:14:45,926 --> 00:14:48,386 Why did you look at me when you said that?
- 00:14:52,516 --> 00:14:54,350 So I guess now we can't go.
- 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:58,897 Come on, do what you want. Do we always have to do everything together?
- 00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,900 You know what? You're right.
- 00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:05,737 -Fine. -Fine.
- 00:15:05,946 --> 00:15:08,406 -Fine. -All right.
- 00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:11,075 We're gonna go.
- 00:15:16,165 --> 00:15:19,083 It's not for another six hours. We're gonna go then.
- 00:15:27,426 --> 00:15:28,551 -Chandler? -Yeah.
- 00:15:28,719 --> 00:15:30,345 Oh, jeez.
- 00:15:31,055 --> 00:15:32,305 -Are you ready? -Yes.
- 00:15:32,514 --> 00:15:35,016 Just let me grab my jacket and tell you I had sex today.
- 00:15:35,184 --> 00:15:36,768 Whoa, whoa.
- 00:15:38,062 --> 00:15:40,063 What? You had sex today?
- 00:15:40,689 --> 00:15:43,608 Wow. lt sounds even cooler when somebody else says it.
- 00:15:45,110 --> 00:15:49,280 I was awesome, okay? She was biting her lip to stop from screaming.
- 00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:50,657 Wow.
- 00:15:50,824 --> 00:15:54,243 Now, I know it's been a while, but I took that as a good sign.
- 00:15:54,870 --> 00:15:56,204 [PHONE RINGlNG]
- 00:15:59,541 --> 00:16:01,084 Still doing the screening thing?
- 00:16:01,543 --> 00:16:03,211 I had sex today.
- 00:16:04,129 --> 00:16:06,547 I never have to answer that phone again.
- 00:16:07,299 --> 00:16:09,926 JOEY [ON RECORDlNG]: Here comes the beep. You know what to do.
- 00:16:10,177 --> 00:16:12,136 JADE [ON MACHINE]: Hey, Bob. lt's Jade.
- 00:16:12,304 --> 00:16:15,598 I just wanted to tell you I was really hurt when you didn't show up the other day.
- 00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:19,686 And just so you know, I ended up meeting a guy.
- 00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:21,980 [lN DEEP VOICE] Bob here.
- 00:16:22,147 --> 00:16:23,940 JADE: Oh, hi.
- 00:16:24,274 --> 00:16:26,401 So, uh, you met someone, huh?
- 00:16:26,610 --> 00:16:28,069 JADE: Yes. Yes, I did.
- 00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:31,823 In fact, I had sex with him two hours ago.
- 00:16:34,451 --> 00:16:37,203 So, uh, how was he?
- 00:16:37,579 --> 00:16:38,913 JADE: Eh....
- 00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:47,171 "Eh"?
- 00:16:47,631 --> 00:16:50,967 Oh, Bob, he was nothing compared to you.
- 00:16:54,179 --> 00:16:57,223 I had to bite my lip to keep from screaming your name.
- 00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:02,437 Well, that makes me feel so good.
- 00:17:03,272 --> 00:17:05,898 It was just so awkward and bumpy.
- 00:17:06,608 --> 00:17:07,650 [MOUTHS] Bumpy?
- 00:17:07,818 --> 00:17:12,155 Maybe he had some kind of, uh, new cool style that you're not familiar with.
- 00:17:12,948 --> 00:17:14,574 And, uh, maybe you have to get used to it.
- 00:17:14,742 --> 00:17:16,909 JADE: There wasn't much time to get used to it...
- 00:17:17,077 --> 00:17:18,244 ...if you know what I mean.
- 00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:32,091 You know what? I'm not gonna be able to enjoy this.
- 00:17:32,301 --> 00:17:35,595 Yeah, I know. It's my birthday. We all should be here.
- 00:17:36,305 --> 00:17:37,805 So let's go.
- 00:17:39,850 --> 00:17:41,934 [HOOTIE & THE BLOWFlSH PLAYlNG "I GO BLIND"]
- 00:17:44,354 --> 00:17:46,689 Well, you know, maybe we should stay for one song.
- 00:17:46,940 --> 00:17:49,776 Yeah, I mean, it would be rude to them for us to leave now.
- 00:17:49,985 --> 00:17:51,986 You know, the guys are probably having a great time.
- 00:17:52,154 --> 00:17:56,157 Every time I look at you I go blind
- 00:17:56,325 --> 00:17:58,367 Come on, you guys. One more time.
- 00:17:58,577 --> 00:17:59,702 Okay.
- 00:18:00,412 --> 00:18:02,622 -One. -No.
- 00:18:06,627 --> 00:18:09,754 MUSlClAN: Thank you very much. We are Hootie & The Blowfish.
- 00:18:12,257 --> 00:18:13,549 -That was amazing. -Excellent.
- 00:18:13,759 --> 00:18:15,468 I can't believe the guys missed this.
- 00:18:15,677 --> 00:18:17,595 What guys? Oh, yeah.
- 00:18:19,473 --> 00:18:21,933 Excuse me. You're Monica Geller, aren't you?
- 00:18:22,392 --> 00:18:24,769 -Do I know you? -You used to be my baby-sitter.
- 00:18:25,687 --> 00:18:27,939 Oh, my God. Little Stevie Fisher?
- 00:18:28,148 --> 00:18:29,649 How have you been?
- 00:18:29,900 --> 00:18:31,567 Good, good. I'm a lawyer now.
- 00:18:32,152 --> 00:18:34,070 You can't be a lawyer. You're 8.
- 00:18:34,988 --> 00:18:37,406 Well, listen, it was nice to see you. I gotta run backstage.
- 00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:38,741 Wait, backstage?
- 00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:40,576 Oh, yeah. My firm represents the band.
- 00:18:40,828 --> 00:18:42,286 -Ross. -Chandler.
- 00:18:43,872 --> 00:18:46,791 -Look, you guys wanna meet the group? -Yeah, we do.
- 00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:48,000 Come on.
- 00:18:48,252 --> 00:18:51,504 So, look, are you one of the ones that fooled around with my dad?
- 00:18:57,094 --> 00:18:58,970 -Hey, you guys. RACHEL: Happy birthday.
- 00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:00,888 Oh, thank you. Thanks.
- 00:19:01,515 --> 00:19:03,224 So, uh....
- 00:19:04,017 --> 00:19:06,102 How was your night last night?
- 00:19:06,395 --> 00:19:09,856 Oh, well, it pretty much sucked. How was yours?
- 00:19:10,107 --> 00:19:11,774 Yeah, ours pretty much sucked too.
- 00:19:12,025 --> 00:19:14,485 Oh, but I did run into Stevie Fisher. Remember him?
- 00:19:14,695 --> 00:19:16,779 Oh, yeah. I used to baby-sit him.
- 00:19:17,030 --> 00:19:18,531 Hey, how's his dad?
- 00:19:20,784 --> 00:19:21,993 Good.
- 00:19:22,369 --> 00:19:25,621 Uh, aside from that, the whole evening was pretty much a bust.
- 00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:28,708 Yeah, we really missed you guys.
- 00:19:28,917 --> 00:19:32,712 Yeah, look, we were just saying, this whole thing is so stupid.
- 00:19:32,921 --> 00:19:38,009 We just have to really, really not let stuff like money, get like--
- 00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:39,468 Is that a hickey?
- 00:19:41,763 --> 00:19:43,431 Oh, ha, ha, no, I just....
- 00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:45,391 I fell down.
- 00:19:47,644 --> 00:19:49,478 On someone's lips?
- 00:19:50,772 --> 00:19:52,440 Where'd you get the hickey?
- 00:19:52,649 --> 00:19:55,026 -You know, a party or-- -What party?
- 00:19:55,235 --> 00:19:59,822 Well, it wasn't a party so much as a-- A gathering of people.
- 00:20:01,283 --> 00:20:03,492 With food and music and--
- 00:20:03,744 --> 00:20:05,328 And the band.
- 00:20:06,788 --> 00:20:08,915 You partied with Hootie and the Blowfish?
- 00:20:09,166 --> 00:20:13,044 Yes. Apparently, Stevie and Hootie are like this.
- 00:20:13,462 --> 00:20:15,588 Who gave you that hickey?
- 00:20:15,839 --> 00:20:17,423 That would be the work of a Blowfish.
- 00:20:17,591 --> 00:20:19,175 [RACHEL & PHOEBE GASP]
- 00:20:21,345 --> 00:20:24,096 I can't believe it. I can't believe this.
- 00:20:24,306 --> 00:20:28,851 We're just sitting at home, trying to guess Joey's fingers...
- 00:20:31,438 --> 00:20:34,106 ...and you guys are out, like, partying and having fun and all:
- 00:20:34,316 --> 00:20:36,442 "Hey, Blowfish, suck on my neck."
- 00:20:40,113 --> 00:20:42,657 Hey, look, don't blame us. You guys could've been there.
- 00:20:42,866 --> 00:20:45,993 Oh, what? As part of your Poor Friends Outreach program?
- 00:20:46,161 --> 00:20:47,578 [PAGER BEEPS]
- 00:20:47,746 --> 00:20:49,038 Oh, great. lt's work.
- 00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:52,917 Look, I don't know what to say. I'm sorry that we make more than you.
- 00:20:53,126 --> 00:20:56,254 But we're not gonna feel guilty about it. We work really hard for it.
- 00:20:56,630 --> 00:20:58,130 And we don't work hard?
- 00:20:58,340 --> 00:20:59,966 Yeah, hi, it's Monica. I got a page.
- 00:21:00,175 --> 00:21:04,178 I'm just saying that sometimes we like to do stuff that costs a little more.
- 00:21:04,388 --> 00:21:06,472 -Oh, and you feel like we hold you back. -Yes.
- 00:21:07,557 --> 00:21:08,641 No.
- 00:21:09,768 --> 00:21:12,186 [ARGUING]
- 00:21:12,437 --> 00:21:14,563 MONICA: Leon, wait. Shh! Guys.
- 00:21:15,482 --> 00:21:16,607 Wait, I don't understand.
- 00:21:16,817 --> 00:21:18,985 Those steaks were just a gift from the meat vendor.
- 00:21:19,236 --> 00:21:20,945 That was not a kickback.
- 00:21:21,405 --> 00:21:24,782 Come on, I'll just replace them and we can forget the whole thing.
- 00:21:27,786 --> 00:21:28,995 What corporate policy?
- 00:21:34,918 --> 00:21:36,043 Yeah.
- 00:21:36,545 --> 00:21:37,753 Okay.
- 00:21:43,302 --> 00:21:44,468 I just got fired.
- 00:21:50,851 --> 00:21:52,977 WAlTRESS: Here's your check. That'll be 4.12.
- 00:21:53,228 --> 00:21:54,437 Let me get that.
- 00:21:58,358 --> 00:21:59,442 [WHlSPERS] You got 5 bucks?
- 00:22:07,701 --> 00:22:08,993 [PHONE RINGS]
- 00:22:10,078 --> 00:22:12,496 JOEY [ON RECORDlNG]: Here comes the beep. You know what to do.
- 00:22:13,540 --> 00:22:15,624 JADE [ON MACHINE]: Hi, it's me.
- 00:22:18,795 --> 00:22:21,297 Listen, Bob, I'm probably way out of line here.
- 00:22:21,465 --> 00:22:25,885 I mean, it has been three years, and you're probably seeing someone else now...
- 00:22:26,136 --> 00:22:29,972 ...but if we could just have one night together, just for old time's sake....
- 00:22:30,182 --> 00:22:34,602 One hot, steamy, wild night....
- 00:22:42,110 --> 00:22:44,111 [English - US - SDH]
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