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Эпизод с мужем Фиби
The One with Phoebe's Husband
Сезон: 02Серия: 04
Описание
Компания удивлена, что Фиби тайно вышла замуж за канадского фигуриста-гея Дункана (Стив Зан). Она вышла за него замуж, чтобы он получил грин-карту. Фиби рада, когда он хочет ее увидеть, но потом расстраивается, что он хочет развода. Дункан говорит, что понял, что он не гей, и хочет жениться на другой. Раскрываются интересные факты о других: Джои снялся в порнофильме, а у Чендлера появился третий сосок. Росс обращается к Рейчел за советом по поводу отношений после того, как признается, что они с Джули еще не спали. Рейчел, желая разлучить их, советует воздержаться, в то время как Джои дает Россу противоположный совет.
Субтитры
- 00:00:02,961 --> 00:00:05,045 Mom, would you relax?
- 00:00:05,338 --> 00:00:09,174 That was 1 0 blocks from here, and the woman was walking alone at night.
- 00:00:09,384 --> 00:00:11,010 I would never do that.
- 00:00:11,386 --> 00:00:13,846 Mom, come on, stop worrying.
- 00:00:14,055 --> 00:00:17,391 This is a safe street. This is a safe building. There's nothing--
- 00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:20,602 Aah! Oh, my God! What are you doing in here?
- 00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:22,604 Mom, I gotta go. I gotta go.
- 00:00:25,900 --> 00:00:26,942 Oh, my God.
- 00:00:27,402 --> 00:00:28,944 Okay.
- 00:00:29,112 --> 00:00:31,196 That's fine, you just read the paper.
- 00:00:31,906 --> 00:00:33,824 I'm gonna get a pot.
- 00:00:34,284 --> 00:00:36,118 It's not for you.
- 00:00:41,458 --> 00:00:43,834 Okay, that's fine.
- 00:00:44,753 --> 00:00:47,796 Read the Family Circus...
- 00:00:48,465 --> 00:00:51,341 ...enjoy the gentle comedy....
- 00:00:53,803 --> 00:00:54,928 [SHRlEKING]
- 00:00:55,096 --> 00:00:58,015 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
- 00:01:00,810 --> 00:01:04,396 Ugh. Oh, God. Oh, God.
- 00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:07,816 [KNOCK ON DOOR]
- 00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:09,693 It's open, you guys.
- 00:01:11,029 --> 00:01:13,197 -Hi. -Hi. Can I help you?
- 00:01:13,364 --> 00:01:15,616 I'm looking for Phoebe, does she still live here?
- 00:01:15,784 --> 00:01:18,160 Uh, no, she doesn't. But I can get a message to her.
- 00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:21,205 Great. Uh, just tell her her husband stopped by.
- 00:01:21,414 --> 00:01:22,956 Her what? Aah!
- 00:01:24,542 --> 00:01:26,835 Hey, how did you do that?
- 00:02:16,678 --> 00:02:19,972 This is unbelievable, Pheebs. How can you be married?
- 00:02:20,181 --> 00:02:22,057 I'm not "married" married, you know?
- 00:02:22,225 --> 00:02:23,934 He was just a friend, and he's gay...
- 00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:26,812 ...and he was from Canada, and he needed a Green Card.
- 00:02:27,021 --> 00:02:29,064 I can't believe you married Duncan.
- 00:02:29,274 --> 00:02:30,691 I mean, how could you not tell me?
- 00:02:30,859 --> 00:02:32,985 We lived together, we told each other everything.
- 00:02:33,194 --> 00:02:36,822 I'm sorry, Monica, but I knew if I told you, you'd get really, like, judgmental...
- 00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:38,031 ...and would not approve.
- 00:02:38,241 --> 00:02:40,200 Of course I wouldn't approve.
- 00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:43,537 You were totally in love with this guy who, hello, was gay.
- 00:02:43,746 --> 00:02:45,539 I mean, what the hell were you thinking?
- 00:02:45,748 --> 00:02:47,708 See? And you thought she'd be judgmental.
- 00:02:49,085 --> 00:02:53,088 Okay, I wasn't in love with him. I was just helping out a friend.
- 00:02:53,339 --> 00:02:56,675 Please. When he left town, you stayed in your pajamas for a month.
- 00:02:56,885 --> 00:02:58,844 And I saw you eat a cheeseburger.
- 00:02:59,095 --> 00:03:00,387 [ALL GASP]
- 00:03:02,473 --> 00:03:03,599 Well, didn't you?
- 00:03:04,642 --> 00:03:06,226 I might have.
- 00:03:07,145 --> 00:03:09,438 I can't believe you didn't tell me.
- 00:03:09,647 --> 00:03:11,106 Come on. Like you tell me everything?
- 00:03:11,316 --> 00:03:13,066 What have I not told you?
- 00:03:13,234 --> 00:03:15,194 Ooh, I don't know. Um...
- 00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:19,364 ...how about the fact that the underwear out there on the telephone pole is yours...
- 00:03:19,616 --> 00:03:22,117 ...from when you were having sex with Fun Bobby on the terrace.
- 00:03:22,368 --> 00:03:25,621 RACHEL: What? -Wait a minute. Who told you?
- 00:03:30,168 --> 00:03:31,919 You are dead meat.
- 00:03:32,295 --> 00:03:34,796 I didn't know it was a big secret.
- 00:03:35,131 --> 00:03:37,132 Oh, it's not big. Not at all.
- 00:03:37,342 --> 00:03:40,802 You know, kind of on the same lines as, say, I don't know, having a third nipple.
- 00:03:41,012 --> 00:03:42,512 [ALL GASP]
- 00:03:43,806 --> 00:03:45,849 You have a third nipple?
- 00:03:47,810 --> 00:03:49,770 You bitch.
- 00:03:52,815 --> 00:03:54,608 -Whip it out. Whip it out. PHOEBE: Yeah, yeah.
- 00:03:54,776 --> 00:03:59,071 No, come on. There's nothing to see. It's just a tiny bump. It's totally useless.
- 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:01,531 Oh, as opposed to your other multifunctional nipples?
- 00:04:03,993 --> 00:04:07,162 I can't believe you. You told me it was a nubbin.
- 00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:11,041 Joey, what did you think a nubbin was?
- 00:04:12,168 --> 00:04:15,879 I don't know. You see something, you hear a word, I thought that's what it was.
- 00:04:16,381 --> 00:04:19,800 -Let me see it again. ROSS: Yeah, show us your nubbin.
- 00:04:19,968 --> 00:04:21,176 Joey was in a porno movie.
- 00:04:21,344 --> 00:04:22,928 [ALL GASP]
- 00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:27,975 If I'm going down, I'm taking everybody with me.
- 00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:31,228 RACHEL: Oh, my God. ROSS: You were in a porno?
- 00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:34,690 All right, all right. I was young and I just wanted a job, okay?
- 00:04:34,899 --> 00:04:36,984 But at the last minute I couldn't go through with it.
- 00:04:37,402 --> 00:04:40,320 So they let me be the guy who comes in to fix the copier but can't...
- 00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:43,198 ...because there's people having sex on it.
- 00:04:43,449 --> 00:04:44,700 ALL: Wow.
- 00:04:44,867 --> 00:04:46,076 That is wild.
- 00:04:47,537 --> 00:04:49,579 -So, what's it shaped like? -Is there a hair on it?
- 00:04:49,872 --> 00:04:51,748 What happens if you flick it?
- 00:04:59,340 --> 00:05:02,801 So, uh, does it do anything, you know, special?
- 00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:06,388 Why, yes, Ross, pressing my third nipple opens the delivery entrance...
- 00:05:06,639 --> 00:05:08,849 ...to the magical land of Narnia.
- 00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:14,521 You know, in some cultures, having a third nipple is actually a sign of virility.
- 00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:17,524 You get the best huts, and women dance naked around you.
- 00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:22,195 Huh. Are, uh, any of these cultures, per chance, in the Tri-State area?
- 00:05:22,905 --> 00:05:27,409 You know, you are so amazing. Is there anything you don't know?
- 00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:32,831 [MOCKlNGLY] Ooh, Julie's so smart. Julie's so special.
- 00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:36,835 Look, honey, I wanted you to hook up with Ross as much as you did.
- 00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:40,464 But he's with her now. You're just gonna have to get over it.
- 00:05:40,715 --> 00:05:43,467 Oh, I'm going to have to get over it.
- 00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:47,262 God, see, I didn't know that's what I had to do. I just have to get over it.
- 00:05:50,141 --> 00:05:52,017 ALL: Whoa.
- 00:05:52,268 --> 00:05:54,394 ROSS: Sassy lady. JULIE: Where are you going?
- 00:05:54,562 --> 00:05:57,981 Um, I'm gonna go meet Duncan. He's skating tonight at the Garden.
- 00:05:58,232 --> 00:06:00,150 He's in the Capades.
- 00:06:01,569 --> 00:06:04,404 -The lce Capades? -No, no, the Gravel Capades.
- 00:06:06,115 --> 00:06:09,117 Yeah, the turns aren't as fast, but when Snoopy falls? Funny.
- 00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:12,496 I can't believe you're dressing up for him.
- 00:06:12,705 --> 00:06:15,123 You're setting yourself up all over again.
- 00:06:15,291 --> 00:06:16,500 Okay, no.
- 00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:22,589 For your information, I'm going to see him so I can put all those feelings behind me.
- 00:06:23,132 --> 00:06:26,676 And the reason I'm dressed like this is because I think it's nice...
- 00:06:26,886 --> 00:06:29,346 ...to look nice for your gay husband.
- 00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,475 Darn it, we're all out of milk.
- 00:06:33,684 --> 00:06:35,811 Hey, Chandler, will you fill me up here?
- 00:06:42,860 --> 00:06:45,737 Oh, I see, I see. Because of the third-nipple thing.
- 00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:47,948 [LAUGHS THEN GRUMBLES]
- 00:06:54,372 --> 00:06:56,248 -Okay, sweetie, I'll see you later. -Bye.
- 00:06:57,583 --> 00:07:00,627 -See you later, Rach. -Bye-bye, Julie.
- 00:07:07,969 --> 00:07:09,511 -Hey. -Hey.
- 00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:13,140 Hey, come on, cut it out.
- 00:07:14,392 --> 00:07:16,059 ROSS: Hey. RACHEL: What?
- 00:07:17,186 --> 00:07:19,688 -Can I ask you something? -Sure.
- 00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:22,732 ROSS: Eh. RACHEL: What?
- 00:07:23,734 --> 00:07:26,695 -Come on, talk to me. -Okay.
- 00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:31,908 What's the longest you've been in a relationship before...
- 00:07:33,411 --> 00:07:36,204 ...having the sex?
- 00:07:37,498 --> 00:07:40,000 Why? Who's not--? Are you and Julie not--?
- 00:07:40,209 --> 00:07:42,210 Are you and Julie not having sex?
- 00:07:43,004 --> 00:07:44,463 Well....
- 00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:46,298 Technically?
- 00:07:46,883 --> 00:07:49,551 -No. -Wow.
- 00:07:50,344 --> 00:07:52,137 Is it because she's so cold in bed?
- 00:07:54,515 --> 00:07:58,393 Or is it because she's kind of bossy, makes it feel like school?
- 00:07:58,561 --> 00:08:03,356 No. No. She's great. And it's not like we haven't done anything.
- 00:08:03,524 --> 00:08:08,028 I mean, we do plenty of other stuff. Lots of other stuff like--
- 00:08:08,237 --> 00:08:10,864 No, no, no. Don't need to know the details.
- 00:08:11,032 --> 00:08:12,616 [BOTH CHUCKLE]
- 00:08:12,783 --> 00:08:14,201 No, it's just....
- 00:08:14,744 --> 00:08:16,161 It's me.
- 00:08:16,412 --> 00:08:19,456 You know, I've only been with one woman my whole life...
- 00:08:19,707 --> 00:08:21,875 ...and she turned out to be a lesbian.
- 00:08:22,043 --> 00:08:23,084 Uh-huh.
- 00:08:23,252 --> 00:08:26,755 So now I've got myself all psyched out.
- 00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:29,466 It's become, like, this...
- 00:08:30,718 --> 00:08:32,677 ...this thing, and l....
- 00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:37,057 You must just think I'm weird.
- 00:08:37,266 --> 00:08:40,101 No. No, no, no. I don't think it's weird.
- 00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:42,854 I think-- I think, um, in fact--
- 00:08:43,064 --> 00:08:45,524 -In fact, you know what I think? -What?
- 00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:47,984 I think it's sexy.
- 00:08:49,445 --> 00:08:50,487 Sexy?
- 00:08:50,738 --> 00:08:52,864 Let me tell you something. As a woman...
- 00:08:53,115 --> 00:08:56,159 ...there is nothing sexier...
- 00:08:56,410 --> 00:08:59,079 ...than a man who does not want to have sex.
- 00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:03,708 -No kidding. -Oh, yeah. In fact, you know what I'd do?
- 00:09:03,918 --> 00:09:05,335 I'd wait.
- 00:09:07,171 --> 00:09:10,131 -You'd wait? -Yes, absolutely. I would wait...
- 00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:12,425 ...and wait....
- 00:09:13,427 --> 00:09:15,136 Then I'd wait some more.
- 00:09:17,515 --> 00:09:18,640 -Really? -Oh, yeah.
- 00:09:18,808 --> 00:09:21,810 I don't care how much she tells you she wants it, I don't care if she begs...
- 00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:26,815 ...she pleads, she tells you she's gonna have sex with another man.
- 00:09:27,108 --> 00:09:28,692 That just means it's working.
- 00:09:32,029 --> 00:09:34,322 Women really want this?
- 00:09:34,615 --> 00:09:36,324 More than jewelry.
- 00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:53,925 Hi.
- 00:09:54,343 --> 00:09:56,219 -Phoebe. -Ta-da.
- 00:09:57,346 --> 00:09:58,763 Hi.
- 00:09:59,098 --> 00:10:01,308 Ah, look at you. You look great.
- 00:10:01,684 --> 00:10:03,810 Do l? Thank you.
- 00:10:04,186 --> 00:10:06,855 -So do you. Sparkly. -Thanks.
- 00:10:09,025 --> 00:10:10,150 So....
- 00:10:10,318 --> 00:10:15,572 Wow. This is pretty wonderful, huh, Mr. Major Capades Guy.
- 00:10:16,824 --> 00:10:21,494 I remember when you were just like King Friday in Mr. Roger's Ice /s Nice.
- 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:24,789 You always said I'd make it.
- 00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:28,376 Yeah, well, you know, I'm kind of spooky that way. Woo.
- 00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:31,212 God, I missed you.
- 00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:36,801 -I'm gonna get changed. -Okay.
- 00:10:39,055 --> 00:10:40,764 Um, now.
- 00:10:41,057 --> 00:10:43,391 PHOEBE: What? DUNCAN: Pheebs.
- 00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:45,685 Oh. Right. Okay.
- 00:10:46,270 --> 00:10:48,980 -Ole. -What?
- 00:10:50,441 --> 00:10:51,983 The Matador, so....
- 00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:53,818 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:58,281 Ole. Ha, ha.
- 00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:04,329 -Sweetie, can you hold this for a second? -Sure.
- 00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:05,955 Thanks.
- 00:11:06,123 --> 00:11:07,499 [JULlE CHUCKLES]
- 00:11:13,005 --> 00:11:15,048 -Uh, Julie? -Yeah.
- 00:11:15,216 --> 00:11:18,176 Sorry, you had a paleontologist on your face.
- 00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:21,137 But, uh, it's gone now. You're all right.
- 00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:22,972 -Hi, everyone. MONICA: Hi.
- 00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:25,225 Oh, listen, listen....
- 00:11:25,976 --> 00:11:29,270 I wanted to thank you for, uh, our little talk before.
- 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:32,941 Oh, God, no problem. So you're gonna go with the waiting thing?
- 00:11:33,192 --> 00:11:36,611 Well, I was going to, but after I talked to you, I talked to Joey.
- 00:11:41,409 --> 00:11:43,284 Good. Ahem. What did he say?
- 00:11:43,494 --> 00:11:46,204 Basically, he told me to get over myself and just do it.
- 00:11:46,997 --> 00:11:49,916 So I thought about what you said and about what he said.
- 00:11:50,126 --> 00:11:52,627 And, well, his way, I get to have sex tonight, so....
- 00:11:52,795 --> 00:11:54,421 [RACHEL CHUCKLES]
- 00:11:59,301 --> 00:12:01,678 What is this in my pocket?
- 00:12:02,346 --> 00:12:04,556 Why, it's Joey's porno movie.
- 00:12:07,226 --> 00:12:08,309 Pop it in.
- 00:12:09,228 --> 00:12:11,604 I'm fine with it, I mean, if you're okay watching a video...
- 00:12:11,772 --> 00:12:14,065 ...filled with two-nippled people.
- 00:12:17,486 --> 00:12:20,280 Great. People having sex. That's just what I need to see.
- 00:12:20,698 --> 00:12:22,741 What's wrong with people having sex?
- 00:12:23,075 --> 00:12:24,743 Well....
- 00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:30,123 Well, um, you know, these movies are offensive...
- 00:12:30,332 --> 00:12:34,794 ...and, uh, degrading to women and females....
- 00:12:35,463 --> 00:12:39,090 And, uh, the lighting's always unflattering.
- 00:12:41,135 --> 00:12:42,510 And....
- 00:12:42,678 --> 00:12:46,014 -Monica, help me out here. -Hell, I wanna see Joey.
- 00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:49,893 [PORN MUSIC PLAYING ON TV]
- 00:12:52,938 --> 00:12:55,607 So is there, like, a story, or do they just start doing it right--
- 00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,025 [WOMAN MOANS ON TV]
- 00:12:57,193 --> 00:12:59,068 Oh. Never mind.
- 00:12:59,361 --> 00:13:02,989 Okay, now, wait a minute. That is the craziest typing test I've ever seen.
- 00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:07,076 All I say is, she better get the job.
- 00:13:07,411 --> 00:13:09,496 Looks to me like he's the one getting the job.
- 00:13:11,957 --> 00:13:13,958 Shh. Hey, here I come. Here I come.
- 00:13:14,168 --> 00:13:15,960 See, I'm coming to fix the copier.
- 00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:19,964 I can't get to the copier. I'm thinking, "What do I do? What do I do?"
- 00:13:21,717 --> 00:13:24,093 So I just watch them have sex.
- 00:13:27,556 --> 00:13:29,057 And then I say-- Here's my line.
- 00:13:29,433 --> 00:13:31,851 JOEY [ON TV]: You know, that's bad for the paper tray.
- 00:13:34,355 --> 00:13:35,855 -Nice work, my friend. -Thank you.
- 00:13:36,065 --> 00:13:39,943 Wait, you see me again. Hang on, the guy's butt's blocking me.
- 00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:44,989 There I am. There I am. There I am.
- 00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:55,250 So, um-- So, what's up? You came to see me yesterday.
- 00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:57,293 Oh, yeah, um....
- 00:13:58,671 --> 00:13:59,838 All right.
- 00:14:01,215 --> 00:14:03,383 I kind of need a divorce.
- 00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:06,678 Okay.
- 00:14:07,137 --> 00:14:08,179 How come?
- 00:14:08,764 --> 00:14:12,183 Um, actually, I'm getting married again.
- 00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:13,601 What?
- 00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:15,812 Oh, God, I don't know how to tell you this.
- 00:14:18,023 --> 00:14:19,357 I'm straight.
- 00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:20,817 [GASPS]
- 00:14:21,235 --> 00:14:22,652 Yeah, I know.
- 00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:27,156 I don't understand. I don't understand. How can you be straight?
- 00:14:27,366 --> 00:14:29,826 I mean, you're so smart and funny...
- 00:14:30,035 --> 00:14:32,912 ...and you throw such great Academy Award parties.
- 00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:35,498 I know. That's what I kept telling myself.
- 00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:38,543 But you just reach a point where you can't live a lie anymore.
- 00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:42,755 So how long have you known?
- 00:14:44,425 --> 00:14:47,886 I guess on some level I always knew I was straight.
- 00:14:48,846 --> 00:14:50,930 I thought I was supposed to be something else.
- 00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:55,894 You know, I'm an ice dancer, all my friends are gay. I was just trying to fit in.
- 00:14:57,688 --> 00:15:01,858 And, um-- And there's actually a woman?
- 00:15:03,027 --> 00:15:05,486 -Her name's Debra. -Oh.
- 00:15:07,531 --> 00:15:10,450 Well, is she the first that you've been with?
- 00:15:12,244 --> 00:15:13,870 Well, I've never told you this...
- 00:15:14,038 --> 00:15:19,584 ...but there were one or two times back in college...
- 00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:21,920 ...when I'd get really drunk and go to a straight bar...
- 00:15:22,129 --> 00:15:24,380 ...and wake up with a woman next to me.
- 00:15:24,548 --> 00:15:29,761 But I told myself it was the liquor, and everyone experiments in college.
- 00:15:31,305 --> 00:15:32,347 Sure.
- 00:15:32,556 --> 00:15:35,767 But now I know I don't have a choice about this. I was born this way.
- 00:15:39,647 --> 00:15:41,230 I don't know what to say.
- 00:15:41,398 --> 00:15:44,400 I mean, you know, you're married to someone for six years...
- 00:15:44,568 --> 00:15:46,069 ...and you think you know him.
- 00:15:46,236 --> 00:15:49,280 And then one day he says, "Oh, I'm not gay."
- 00:15:54,662 --> 00:15:56,871 I'm-- I'm still me.
- 00:15:58,916 --> 00:16:02,418 Why couldn't you just have figured this out six years ago?
- 00:16:05,005 --> 00:16:07,632 You know, it still smells like monkey in there.
- 00:16:09,677 --> 00:16:12,220 Well, that saves us the conversation.
- 00:16:14,139 --> 00:16:16,808 Well, this has been great, but I'm officially wiped.
- 00:16:17,059 --> 00:16:19,268 -Me too. We should get going. RACHEL: No.
- 00:16:19,561 --> 00:16:22,105 No. I mean-- No. Come on, you guys.
- 00:16:23,565 --> 00:16:25,775 Come on, look, it's only 1 1 :30.
- 00:16:26,026 --> 00:16:30,154 Let's just talk. We never just hang out and talk anymore.
- 00:16:30,406 --> 00:16:32,865 Rachel, that's all we do.
- 00:16:34,535 --> 00:16:37,245 Maybe that's all we do. What about Julie?
- 00:16:38,539 --> 00:16:40,164 What about Julie?
- 00:16:40,541 --> 00:16:44,377 Well, you have been in our lives for nearly two months now...
- 00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:46,879 ...and we don't really know you.
- 00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:48,673 I mean, who is Julie?
- 00:16:50,134 --> 00:16:52,301 I mean, what do you like? What don't you like?
- 00:16:52,511 --> 00:16:54,721 We want to know everything.
- 00:16:55,055 --> 00:16:56,973 Well, heh, that could take a while.
- 00:16:57,558 --> 00:16:58,725 So?
- 00:17:00,352 --> 00:17:03,104 I mean, who here does not have the time to get to know Julie?
- 00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:06,357 -I got the time to get to know Julie. -I got time, yeah.
- 00:17:06,984 --> 00:17:10,695 Uh, Rach, ahem, I know her pretty well. Can I go?
- 00:17:13,615 --> 00:17:14,866 That's fine.
- 00:17:15,075 --> 00:17:18,745 Okay, Julie, so let's start with your childhood. What was that like?
- 00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:23,166 -Well, in a nutshell-- - Ah-ah-ah.
- 00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:28,337 So, um, have you told your parents?
- 00:17:28,839 --> 00:17:31,841 No, but it'll be okay. They're pretty cool.
- 00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:34,385 My brother's straight, so....
- 00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:37,305 Here you go.
- 00:17:37,556 --> 00:17:40,058 You know what? I just have one more question. Um....
- 00:17:40,517 --> 00:17:45,438 If you had figured this out sooner, and, um, I had been around...
- 00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:48,441 ...do you think I would have been the one who...?
- 00:17:49,443 --> 00:17:51,486 No, no. That's all right. Don't tell me.
- 00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:55,698 I don't think either answer would make me feel better. Here.
- 00:17:57,701 --> 00:17:58,868 I love you, Phoebe.
- 00:18:14,176 --> 00:18:16,511 So your brother's straight, huh?
- 00:18:18,138 --> 00:18:19,263 Seriously.
- 00:18:22,726 --> 00:18:26,104 --and my second-grade teacher was Miss Thomas...
- 00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:28,981 ...and my first-grade teacher was Mrs. Cobb.
- 00:18:29,817 --> 00:18:31,317 Ahem. Mrs. Gobb?
- 00:18:31,610 --> 00:18:33,402 No, Cobb. Like cobb salad.
- 00:18:33,904 --> 00:18:35,780 Hmm, okay.
- 00:18:36,156 --> 00:18:39,450 Now, what exactly is in a cobb salad?
- 00:18:39,701 --> 00:18:41,119 I'm going home.
- 00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:48,626 Boy, that Julie's a talker, huh?
- 00:18:50,754 --> 00:18:51,963 Good night.
- 00:18:52,673 --> 00:18:54,173 RACHEL: Whew.
- 00:18:54,341 --> 00:18:58,678 So it's pretty late. You're probably, uh, not still planning on....
- 00:18:58,846 --> 00:19:01,347 -Oh. No, no, I am. -Oh.
- 00:19:01,515 --> 00:19:04,600 Well, hey, are you nervous?
- 00:19:04,768 --> 00:19:06,894 No, no. l, uh--
- 00:19:07,062 --> 00:19:08,938 I have done it before.
- 00:19:09,106 --> 00:19:10,231 [BOTH CHUCKLE]
- 00:19:10,399 --> 00:19:12,692 Well, okay, I mean, how are you gonna handle it?
- 00:19:12,901 --> 00:19:17,029 Are you gonna talk about it beforehand? Are you just gonna pounce?
- 00:19:17,406 --> 00:19:20,533 I, uh-- I don't know. I guess I'm just gonna...
- 00:19:21,201 --> 00:19:23,452 ...see what happens.
- 00:19:23,787 --> 00:19:26,581 Okay. Good luck.
- 00:19:26,915 --> 00:19:28,499 What--? Uh....
- 00:19:29,126 --> 00:19:32,920 -What? -Nothing. I mean, um....
- 00:19:33,088 --> 00:19:38,593 It is your first time with her, and, you know, if the first time doesn't go well...
- 00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:42,221 ...well then, that's pretty darn hard to recover from.
- 00:19:44,391 --> 00:19:46,392 Okay, now I'm nervous.
- 00:19:48,979 --> 00:19:50,563 Maybe you should put it off.
- 00:19:51,231 --> 00:19:53,482 No, I don't want to put it off.
- 00:19:56,069 --> 00:20:01,199 God, I'm just-- I spent last year being so unbelievably miserable.
- 00:20:01,450 --> 00:20:04,327 And now I'm actually happy.
- 00:20:06,246 --> 00:20:08,247 You know, I mean, really happy.
- 00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:10,625 I just don't wanna....
- 00:20:11,168 --> 00:20:13,920 I don't wanna mess it up, you know?
- 00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:17,256 I know.
- 00:20:17,925 --> 00:20:19,467 Yeah.
- 00:20:20,344 --> 00:20:21,844 I'm sorry.
- 00:20:22,554 --> 00:20:24,138 No, it's not your fault.
- 00:20:24,556 --> 00:20:25,598 Right.
- 00:20:27,684 --> 00:20:30,394 Maybe it doesn't have to be this tough.
- 00:20:30,979 --> 00:20:36,108 Maybe you were on the right track with that whole, you know, spontaneous thing.
- 00:20:36,401 --> 00:20:39,362 -I mean, women really like that. -Really?
- 00:20:39,613 --> 00:20:42,031 Yeah. I mean, you know, if--
- 00:20:42,199 --> 00:20:45,534 I mean if it were me, I'd, you know, want you to--
- 00:20:45,702 --> 00:20:47,703 -What? -I don't know, catch me off guard.
- 00:20:47,871 --> 00:20:49,997 You know, with, like, a really...
- 00:20:50,707 --> 00:20:52,041 ...good kiss.
- 00:20:52,876 --> 00:20:54,543 You know, really...
- 00:20:54,711 --> 00:20:58,756 ...sort of, um, soft at first.
- 00:20:59,883 --> 00:21:04,804 And then maybe, um, brush the hair away from my face.
- 00:21:05,305 --> 00:21:09,392 And then look far into my eyes...
- 00:21:09,643 --> 00:21:12,311 ...in a way that lets me know something...
- 00:21:13,563 --> 00:21:15,815 ...amazing is about to happen.
- 00:21:16,441 --> 00:21:17,900 Uh-huh.
- 00:21:22,406 --> 00:21:24,365 And then, I don't know, then...
- 00:21:24,574 --> 00:21:27,493 ...you'd pull me really close to you so that--
- 00:21:27,744 --> 00:21:31,289 So that I'd be pressed up, you know, right against you.
- 00:21:31,581 --> 00:21:35,876 And, um, it would get kind of...
- 00:21:37,629 --> 00:21:39,213 ...sweaty...
- 00:21:40,882 --> 00:21:42,925 ...and, uh-- And blurry.
- 00:21:45,971 --> 00:21:48,180 And then it's just happening.
- 00:21:49,391 --> 00:21:50,933 Oh.
- 00:21:55,355 --> 00:21:57,481 Thanks, Rach. Good night.
- 00:21:59,985 --> 00:22:01,319 [GROANS]
- 00:22:01,486 --> 00:22:03,195 Oh, God.
- 00:22:19,755 --> 00:22:21,172 Good morning.
- 00:22:22,299 --> 00:22:25,343 Well, somebody got some last night.
- 00:22:30,307 --> 00:22:31,599 Twice.
- 00:22:43,779 --> 00:22:45,780 [English - US - SDH]
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