Эпизод с новой девушкой Росса
Описание
На праздновании дня рождения Рэйчел Чендлер случайно признался Россу в любви. Рэйчел едет в аэропорт, чтобы встретить Росса и сказать ему, что она его любит, не зная, что он возвращается с Джули (Лорен Том), с которой он возобновил отношения в Китае и теперь встречается. Чендлер чувствует себя виноватым за то, что посоветовал Россу забыть Рэйчел. Когда Фиби стрижёт Джоуи и Чендлера, Моника тоже хочет подстричься. Фиби сначала отказывается, зная одержимый перфекционизм Моники, но в конце концов уступает. Она неправильно понимает желания Моники и делает ей стрижку, как у Дадли Мура, а не как у Деми Мур. Джоуи отправляет Чендлера к своему портному за новым костюмом, но во время измерения длины его штанин мужчина неподобающим образом прикасается к Чендлеру. Чендлер рассказывает об этом Джоуи, который наивно полагает, что это обычная процедура. Постоянные разговоры Росса о Джули расстраивают Рэйчел, которая проводит ночь со своим бывшим возлюбленным Паоло.
Субтитры
- 00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:52,050 WOMAN [ON lNTERCOM]: Flight number 456 from Beijing now arriving.
- 00:00:58,300 --> 00:01:01,470 Oh, my God.
- 00:01:01,890 --> 00:01:05,390 Oh, my--Excuse me. Move, move, move! Emergency, please!
- 00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:07,020 Excuse me, excuse me.
- 00:01:08,650 --> 00:01:10,060 [YELLS]
- 00:01:13,860 --> 00:01:15,900 -Rach! - Ah!
- 00:01:16,070 --> 00:01:17,530 There you are!
- 00:01:17,700 --> 00:01:19,620 ROSS: Hey! -Hi!
- 00:01:19,820 --> 00:01:22,830 Oh! So, so.
- 00:01:22,990 --> 00:01:25,790 How was China? You!
- 00:01:26,410 --> 00:01:29,330 It was-- It was great. Oh, what happened?
- 00:01:29,500 --> 00:01:31,250 -What? I am? -You're bleeding.
- 00:01:31,420 --> 00:01:33,050 -God. -Oh, look at that! Yes, I am. Heh.
- 00:01:33,210 --> 00:01:36,300 Enough about me, Mr. Back From The Orient!
- 00:01:36,470 --> 00:01:40,140 Come on, I wanna hear everything. Everything!
- 00:01:41,470 --> 00:01:44,100 Well, uh, where do I start? Um....
- 00:01:44,270 --> 00:01:48,440 This is Julie. Uh, Julie, this is Rachel.
- 00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:51,270 Hi. Heh.
- 00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:53,480 Uh, oh! These are....
- 00:01:53,650 --> 00:01:56,280 -These are-- Aren't for you. -Oh.
- 00:01:56,440 --> 00:01:59,280 Heh. Uh, these are for you.
- 00:01:59,450 --> 00:02:02,320 [SLOWLY] Welcome to our country.
- 00:02:04,330 --> 00:02:07,700 [SLOWLY] Thank you. I'm from New York.
- 00:02:08,210 --> 00:02:10,000 [LAUGHS]
- 00:02:10,170 --> 00:02:13,710 Well, not a problem. We'll use them to stop the bleeding.
- 00:02:14,420 --> 00:02:16,840 Okay. Uh, baggage claim?
- 00:02:17,010 --> 00:02:18,510 -Okay. -Okay.
- 00:02:24,060 --> 00:02:26,470 -No way. -I'm telling you, she went to the airport.
- 00:02:26,640 --> 00:02:28,430 And she's gonna go for it with Ross.
- 00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:32,650 Oh, my God. This is huge. This....
- 00:02:32,810 --> 00:02:35,070 This is bigger than huge. This is....
- 00:02:35,230 --> 00:02:37,320 All right, what's bigger than huge?
- 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:40,860 -Um, this? -Yes.
- 00:02:41,820 --> 00:02:43,450 Guys, you got new haircuts!
- 00:02:43,620 --> 00:02:45,780 Yes, yes, we did. Thanks to Vidal Buffay.
- 00:02:45,950 --> 00:02:47,540 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:02:47,700 --> 00:02:48,750 Because, you know:
- 00:02:48,910 --> 00:02:51,250 [lN LOW VOICE] "lf you don't look good, we don't look good."
- 00:02:51,420 --> 00:02:53,500 [lN NORMAL VOICE] I love that voice! Ha, ha.
- 00:02:54,380 --> 00:02:56,500 -You guys! -Oh, oh.
- 00:02:56,670 --> 00:02:59,090 Airport. Airport. Ross.
- 00:02:59,260 --> 00:03:00,760 Not-- Not alone.
- 00:03:00,930 --> 00:03:04,050 Julie. Arm around her!
- 00:03:04,220 --> 00:03:07,890 Unh! Cramp! Cramp! Cramp!
- 00:03:08,060 --> 00:03:10,680 Okay, I think she's trying to tell us something.
- 00:03:10,850 --> 00:03:13,020 Quick, get the verbs.
- 00:03:13,190 --> 00:03:15,440 -Ow. -You! You!
- 00:03:15,610 --> 00:03:17,110 You said he liked me!
- 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:18,820 You! You--!
- 00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:21,450 You slowpokes!
- 00:03:21,610 --> 00:03:24,490 That's all right, Rach. We got the bags. Uh....
- 00:03:24,660 --> 00:03:26,580 Hi. Hello.
- 00:03:27,790 --> 00:03:30,790 Julie, this is my sister, Monica. This is Chandler.
- 00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:32,870 -Hey. -Phoebe, hi. Mwah.
- 00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:34,960 -Joey, what up? -Hey.
- 00:03:35,500 --> 00:03:38,710 -Everyone, this is Julie. -Julie.
- 00:03:39,090 --> 00:03:41,170 ALL: Oh.
- 00:03:42,930 --> 00:03:44,930 ALL: Hi!
- 00:03:45,090 --> 00:03:47,180 Hi! But I'm not here, you haven't met me.
- 00:03:47,350 --> 00:03:50,890 I'll make a better impression when I don't have 20 hours of plane on me.
- 00:03:51,060 --> 00:03:53,060 - And bus. -Oh, my God!
- 00:03:53,230 --> 00:03:55,440 -With the screaming guy-- -And the spitting.
- 00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:57,730 ROSS: You gotta hear this story.
- 00:03:57,900 --> 00:04:00,030 We're on this bus that's 200 years old.
- 00:04:00,190 --> 00:04:01,860 Two hundred, at least.
- 00:04:02,030 --> 00:04:05,490 -And this guy-- -And the chicken poops in her lap! Ha!
- 00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:12,830 Oh, I'm so sorry.
- 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:15,210 I just gave away the ending, didn't I?
- 00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:17,670 Ugh, I just heard this story in the cab...
- 00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:21,670 ...and it is all I can think about.
- 00:04:24,130 --> 00:04:26,800 This is amazing. I mean, how--?
- 00:04:26,970 --> 00:04:30,060 -How did this happen? -Ross and I were in grad school together.
- 00:04:30,220 --> 00:04:33,480 We haven't seen each other since then. I land in China...
- 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:36,940 -...guess who's in charge of the dig? -Julie!
- 00:04:38,610 --> 00:04:39,980 Julie. lsn't that great?
- 00:04:40,570 --> 00:04:45,200 Isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?
- 00:04:47,280 --> 00:04:49,320 It's an expression.
- 00:04:50,200 --> 00:04:52,200 We just wanted to say a quick hi.
- 00:04:52,370 --> 00:04:54,960 -Then we're gonna go see the baby. -Then get some sleep.
- 00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:57,540 Yeah, it's 6:00 tomorrow night, our time.
- 00:04:57,710 --> 00:04:59,840 Well don't tell us what's gonna happen, though
- 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,800 Because I like to be surprised.
- 00:05:05,970 --> 00:05:07,720 RACHEL: Bye! ROSS: Bye.
- 00:05:18,310 --> 00:05:20,480 -Rach. Can I get some coffee? Thank you. -Sure.
- 00:05:20,650 --> 00:05:22,360 -Hey, Rach-- -Did you talk to him yet?
- 00:05:22,530 --> 00:05:24,440 -No. -Then, no.
- 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:39,330 So, what the hell happened to you in China?
- 00:05:39,500 --> 00:05:42,670 I mean, when last we left you, you were in love with, you know.
- 00:05:42,840 --> 00:05:45,090 I know. I know I was.
- 00:05:45,260 --> 00:05:47,920 But there was always this voice inside that kept saying:
- 00:05:48,090 --> 00:05:52,180 "lt's never gonna happen. Move on." You know whose voice that was?
- 00:05:52,930 --> 00:05:54,260 God?
- 00:05:55,220 --> 00:05:56,850 It was you, pal.
- 00:05:57,850 --> 00:05:59,690 Well, maybe it was God doing me.
- 00:06:01,230 --> 00:06:05,110 You were right. She looks at me and sees a friend. That's all.
- 00:06:05,780 --> 00:06:07,990 And then I met Julie, and....
- 00:06:08,150 --> 00:06:09,990 I don't know. We're having a great time.
- 00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:14,450 I never would have gone for it with her, if it hadn't been for you.
- 00:06:15,870 --> 00:06:18,290 Well, you owe me one, big guy.
- 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:21,420 -Here's your lemonade. -I didn't order lemonade.
- 00:06:21,580 --> 00:06:24,500 Oh. Well then you better go take that back.
- 00:06:24,670 --> 00:06:26,250 They're gonna charge you for that.
- 00:06:26,420 --> 00:06:28,920 -But-- -Go, go, go! Come on, come on!
- 00:06:30,470 --> 00:06:33,220 Okay, so, uh, what did you find out?
- 00:06:34,010 --> 00:06:37,060 He said....
- 00:06:40,230 --> 00:06:42,520 He said they're having a great time.
- 00:06:42,690 --> 00:06:45,020 -I'm sorry. -What?
- 00:06:45,190 --> 00:06:47,860 But the silver lining, if you wanna see it...
- 00:06:48,030 --> 00:06:51,490 ...is that he made this decision all by himself...
- 00:06:51,660 --> 00:06:54,660 ...without any outside help whatsoever.
- 00:06:55,450 --> 00:06:57,830 How is that a silver lining?
- 00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:00,620 You have to really wanna see it.
- 00:07:03,210 --> 00:07:04,790 [CHEERlNG ON TV]
- 00:07:06,300 --> 00:07:09,090 Ironically, these guys were picked last in gym.
- 00:07:10,170 --> 00:07:11,760 Hey, Pheebs.
- 00:07:11,930 --> 00:07:14,800 -You know what I'm thinking? -Oh, okay.
- 00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:20,350 How...
- 00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:23,230 ...it's been so long since you've had sex...
- 00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:25,940 ...you're wondering if they've changed it?
- 00:07:27,110 --> 00:07:30,740 No. Although now that's what I'm thinking.
- 00:07:32,110 --> 00:07:33,860 So, what were you thinking?
- 00:07:34,030 --> 00:07:36,490 I was thinking you gave the guys great haircuts.
- 00:07:36,660 --> 00:07:38,200 I thought you'd like to do mine.
- 00:07:38,370 --> 00:07:40,080 Oh! No.
- 00:07:41,620 --> 00:07:44,330 -Why not? -Because I'm just....
- 00:07:44,500 --> 00:07:48,040 I'm incredibly anal and an unbelievable control freak.
- 00:07:48,210 --> 00:07:49,750 No, you're not.
- 00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:51,800 I know I'm not, but you are.
- 00:07:52,260 --> 00:07:54,090 I was trying to spare your feelings.
- 00:07:54,260 --> 00:07:55,720 [PHONE RINGS]
- 00:07:55,890 --> 00:07:58,050 Hello? Oh, hi.
- 00:07:58,220 --> 00:08:01,100 Yeah, hold on a second. Ross, Julie for you.
- 00:08:04,730 --> 00:08:06,440 ROSS: Hello? Hi.
- 00:08:07,230 --> 00:08:09,770 Hey. Anybody know a good tailor?
- 00:08:09,940 --> 00:08:11,990 -You need clothes altered? -No, no.
- 00:08:12,150 --> 00:08:14,860 I'm just looking for a man to draw on me with chalk.
- 00:08:15,780 --> 00:08:18,910 Go see Frankie. My family's been going to him forever.
- 00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:20,990 He did my first suit when I was 1 5.
- 00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:23,540 No, wait, 1 6.
- 00:08:23,710 --> 00:08:27,380 No, excuse me, heh, 1 5.
- 00:08:28,500 --> 00:08:30,840 All right, when was 1 990?
- 00:08:32,630 --> 00:08:36,010 Okay, you have to stop the Q-Tip when there's resistance.
- 00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:46,440 Okay. Okay. Sweetheart, I'll see you later.
- 00:08:46,600 --> 00:08:47,650 [CLEARS THROAT]
- 00:08:47,810 --> 00:08:49,650 Okay, bye. What?
- 00:08:50,570 --> 00:08:53,440 Oh, that is so sweet.
- 00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:56,990 No-- Ha, ha.
- 00:08:57,160 --> 00:08:59,240 No. Okay. No, you hang up.
- 00:08:59,410 --> 00:09:01,120 No, you-- Okay.
- 00:09:01,290 --> 00:09:04,960 Okay. One, two, three.
- 00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:07,000 Shh.
- 00:09:07,670 --> 00:09:10,960 Well you didn't hang up either. She didn't hang up.
- 00:09:12,710 --> 00:09:14,210 [LAUGHlNG]
- 00:09:15,220 --> 00:09:17,680 Okay, no. No, you hang up.
- 00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:20,600 You. You. Yo--
- 00:09:29,520 --> 00:09:31,610 Sorry, I thought you were talking to me.
- 00:09:33,730 --> 00:09:35,360 -Rachel. Heh. -Sorry.
- 00:09:35,530 --> 00:09:37,780 -I'll just call her back. -Okay.
- 00:09:38,820 --> 00:09:41,370 ROSS: Hi, sweetie. I'm sorry. We got disconnected.
- 00:09:41,530 --> 00:09:42,830 No, you hang up.
- 00:09:42,990 --> 00:09:45,330 Okay, okay, okay. How did this happen to me? How?
- 00:09:45,500 --> 00:09:48,330 A week ago, two weeks ago, I was fine.
- 00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:51,290 Ross was just Ross. Just this guy.
- 00:09:51,460 --> 00:09:55,010 Now all of a sudden, he's Ross...
- 00:09:55,630 --> 00:09:59,760 ...ugh, this really great guy that I can't have.
- 00:10:00,050 --> 00:10:02,260 Sweetie, I wanted you to have him too.
- 00:10:02,430 --> 00:10:03,600 I know you did.
- 00:10:05,140 --> 00:10:08,140 Ugh. I'm just gonna deal with it. I'm just gonna deal with it
- 00:10:08,310 --> 00:10:09,940 [ROSS KlSSES lNTO PHONE]
- 00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:13,570 I gotta get out of here!
- 00:10:16,690 --> 00:10:20,030 I don't care what you guys say. Something's bothering her.
- 00:10:25,330 --> 00:10:28,120 You know, I think I was 1 6.
- 00:10:30,250 --> 00:10:33,040 Please, just a little bit off the back.
- 00:10:33,210 --> 00:10:34,540 Um, I'm still on "no."
- 00:10:37,010 --> 00:10:38,920 -Uh, morning. -Hey.
- 00:10:39,090 --> 00:10:41,090 Could you close your eyes for a sec?
- 00:10:41,260 --> 00:10:44,430 Oh, no, no, no. I'm not falling for that again.
- 00:10:46,850 --> 00:10:50,100 -What's going on? -I sort of did a stupid thing last night.
- 00:10:50,270 --> 00:10:52,060 What stupid thing did you do?
- 00:10:52,730 --> 00:10:54,110 [SPEAKS lN ITALIAN]
- 00:10:54,270 --> 00:10:55,860 Ew!
- 00:11:02,530 --> 00:11:04,530 RACHEL: Why don't you just go get dressed...
- 00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:08,200 ...then you'll be on your way. Bye-bye.
- 00:11:09,410 --> 00:11:11,040 Rachel, how did this happen?
- 00:11:11,210 --> 00:11:13,540 I don't know, I kind of ran into him last night.
- 00:11:13,710 --> 00:11:15,090 -Where? -At his apartment.
- 00:11:15,250 --> 00:11:16,800 Is this juice?
- 00:11:17,420 --> 00:11:21,170 Whoa. And the fact that you dumped him because he hit on Phoebe?
- 00:11:21,340 --> 00:11:24,470 Oh, God, I know. I'm pathetic, I'm a loser.
- 00:11:25,300 --> 00:11:27,890 Honey, you're not pathetic. You're just sad.
- 00:11:28,060 --> 00:11:30,430 Yeah. People do stupid things when they're upset.
- 00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:33,690 My God, if I had a nickel for every guy I wish I hadn't--
- 00:11:37,860 --> 00:11:40,320 But this is about your horrible mistake.
- 00:11:42,110 --> 00:11:43,910 -Hi. ALL: Hey!
- 00:11:44,070 --> 00:11:46,240 -Hi.... ROSS: Sorry we're late.
- 00:11:46,410 --> 00:11:47,660 We were, uh....
- 00:11:47,830 --> 00:11:50,160 Well, there was touching.
- 00:11:53,670 --> 00:11:55,540 -Hey--! -Oh.
- 00:11:55,710 --> 00:11:58,210 -Hey, Ross! -Paolo. Ha.
- 00:11:58,380 --> 00:11:59,710 What a....
- 00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:03,300 What, uh--? What are you doing here?
- 00:12:03,470 --> 00:12:05,300 -I do Raquel. - Ah.
- 00:12:11,680 --> 00:12:13,480 So, uh, he's back?
- 00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:16,230 Yeah, he's back. ls that a problem?
- 00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:17,860 No, not a problem.
- 00:12:18,480 --> 00:12:20,360 Good. Glad it's not a problem.
- 00:12:20,530 --> 00:12:23,900 Okay, you're gonna have to not touch my ass.
- 00:12:27,120 --> 00:12:31,450 Well, despite the yummy bagels and palpable tension...
- 00:12:31,620 --> 00:12:33,580 ...I've got pants that need to be altered.
- 00:12:33,750 --> 00:12:37,290 Oh, when you see Frankie, tell him Joey Tribbiani says hello.
- 00:12:37,460 --> 00:12:39,130 He'll know what it means.
- 00:12:41,460 --> 00:12:44,220 You sure he's gonna be able to crack that code?
- 00:12:45,510 --> 00:12:49,640 It's funny. The last time Paolo was here, my hair was so much shorter and cuter.
- 00:12:50,310 --> 00:12:52,390 All right. Okay.
- 00:12:52,560 --> 00:12:57,060 But-- But! You have to promise that you will not be all controlly and bossy...
- 00:12:57,230 --> 00:13:00,020 ...and all, you know, Monica about it.
- 00:13:00,650 --> 00:13:01,730 I promise.
- 00:13:01,900 --> 00:13:03,570 All right, let's see.
- 00:13:03,740 --> 00:13:07,910 Now, some of you are gonna get cut and some of you aren't.
- 00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:11,280 But I promise, none of you will feel a thing.
- 00:13:12,580 --> 00:13:13,950 Okay.
- 00:13:25,090 --> 00:13:28,380 -All right, that's it. I quit. -What? I didn't say anything!
- 00:13:28,550 --> 00:13:32,310 Yeah, but this isn't the face of a person who trusts a person.
- 00:13:32,470 --> 00:13:35,390 This is the face of a person who, you know...
- 00:13:35,560 --> 00:13:37,690 ...doesn't trust a person.
- 00:13:38,810 --> 00:13:40,480 I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Phoebe.
- 00:13:40,650 --> 00:13:44,400 It's just a little shorter than what we had discussed.
- 00:13:44,570 --> 00:13:48,070 Would you relax? I know what I am doing.
- 00:13:48,240 --> 00:13:50,870 This is how he wears it.
- 00:13:52,790 --> 00:13:55,450 -How who wears it? -Demi Moore.
- 00:13:55,660 --> 00:13:58,500 Heh. Demi Moore is not a he.
- 00:13:58,710 --> 00:14:01,420 Well, he was a he in Arthur and in 10.
- 00:14:03,500 --> 00:14:05,130 That's Dudley Moore!
- 00:14:05,300 --> 00:14:08,090 I said I wanted it like Demi Moore!
- 00:14:08,260 --> 00:14:10,970 -Oh. Oh! -Oh, my God!
- 00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:14,140 -Oh, God! -Oh, my God!
- 00:14:14,310 --> 00:14:16,680 Oh, my God! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
- 00:14:16,850 --> 00:14:18,230 Which one is Demi Moore?
- 00:14:18,390 --> 00:14:23,270 She's the actress that was in Disclosure, lndecent Proposal, Ghost!
- 00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:25,110 Oh, she's got gorgeous hair.
- 00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:27,490 -I know! -Oh, my God!
- 00:14:33,990 --> 00:14:35,950 How long do you want the cuffs?
- 00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:38,870 At least as long as I have the pants.
- 00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:44,460 I just got that.
- 00:14:46,260 --> 00:14:49,840 Okay. Now we'll do your inseam.
- 00:14:50,010 --> 00:14:51,680 [CLEARS THROAT]
- 00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:05,020 How is she?
- 00:15:05,690 --> 00:15:07,610 It's too soon to tell.
- 00:15:08,860 --> 00:15:11,360 She's resting, which is a good sign.
- 00:15:12,700 --> 00:15:15,280 -How's the hair? -I'm not gonna lie to you, Ross.
- 00:15:15,450 --> 00:15:17,200 It doesn't look good.
- 00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:22,290 I put a clip on one side, which seems to have stopped the curling.
- 00:15:24,170 --> 00:15:25,290 Can we see her?
- 00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:28,000 Your hair looks too good. It would upset her.
- 00:15:29,380 --> 00:15:31,380 Ross, why don't you come on in.
- 00:15:38,470 --> 00:15:40,980 -Well, how you doing? -I'm okay.
- 00:15:41,140 --> 00:15:43,600 -Ooh, that bad, huh? -What?
- 00:15:43,770 --> 00:15:47,270 Look, I can sense when women are depressed and vulnerable.
- 00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:49,940 It's one of my gifts. Sit.
- 00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:52,780 Ugh.
- 00:15:53,820 --> 00:15:57,950 Ugh, Joey, when I saw him get off that plane with her...
- 00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:01,410 ...I really thought I just hit rock bottom.
- 00:16:01,580 --> 00:16:05,120 But today, it's like there's rock bottom...
- 00:16:05,290 --> 00:16:07,250 ...50 feet of crap...
- 00:16:07,420 --> 00:16:09,340 ...then me.
- 00:16:10,260 --> 00:16:11,920 You gotta tell Ross how you feel.
- 00:16:12,090 --> 00:16:15,220 Oh, come on, how can I just tell him? What about Julie?
- 00:16:15,390 --> 00:16:18,260 What about her? They've only been going out for two weeks.
- 00:16:18,430 --> 00:16:21,720 Ross has been in love with you for 1 0 years.
- 00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:25,100 -I don't know. I don't know. -Look, Rach, Rach.
- 00:16:25,270 --> 00:16:27,690 I've been with my share of women.
- 00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:31,230 I've been with a lot of people's share of women.
- 00:16:32,190 --> 00:16:33,820 But the point is...
- 00:16:33,990 --> 00:16:38,120 ...I've never felt about anyone the way Ross felt about you.
- 00:16:40,410 --> 00:16:41,660 Really?
- 00:16:48,380 --> 00:16:50,090 Yo, paisan.
- 00:16:52,670 --> 00:16:54,800 Can I talk to you for a sec?
- 00:16:58,220 --> 00:16:59,800 Your tailor...
- 00:17:00,010 --> 00:17:02,390 ...is a very bad man!
- 00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:07,730 -Frankie? What are you talking about? -Hey, what's going on?
- 00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:14,440 Joey's tailor...
- 00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:19,820 ...took advantage of me.
- 00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:23,040 -What? -No way.
- 00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:25,540 I've been going to the guy for 12 years.
- 00:17:25,710 --> 00:17:27,870 Oh, come on. He said he was gonna do my inseam.
- 00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:31,710 Then he ran his hand up my leg and then there was definite--
- 00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:33,300 What?
- 00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:35,470 Cupping.
- 00:17:38,390 --> 00:17:41,140 That's how they do pants!
- 00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:45,220 First they go up one side, they move it over.
- 00:17:45,390 --> 00:17:49,480 Then they go up the other side, move it back, then they do the rear.
- 00:17:52,070 --> 00:17:55,360 What? Ross, tell him. Isn't that how a tailor measures pants?
- 00:17:55,530 --> 00:17:57,610 Yes, yes, it is. In prison!
- 00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:06,750 What's the matter with you?
- 00:18:06,910 --> 00:18:08,370 What?
- 00:18:11,630 --> 00:18:13,250 That's not?
- 00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:20,970 Oh, my God.
- 00:18:27,890 --> 00:18:30,270 Even Mary Tyler Moore would've been better.
- 00:18:32,900 --> 00:18:34,360 I like it.
- 00:18:34,650 --> 00:18:36,190 Yeah, I do. I think it's a 1 0!
- 00:18:36,360 --> 00:18:37,990 [LAUGHS]
- 00:18:39,570 --> 00:18:42,570 Thank you. My hair is very amused.
- 00:18:42,740 --> 00:18:45,490 Oh, come on, things could be worse. I mean, uh....
- 00:18:45,660 --> 00:18:48,410 You could "get caught between the moon and New York City.
- 00:18:48,580 --> 00:18:49,870 [LAUGHS]
- 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:52,830 I know it's crazy, but it's true."
- 00:18:55,630 --> 00:18:57,260 Thank you.
- 00:18:57,420 --> 00:18:59,590 -Well, I gotta go. Bye. -See you.
- 00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:01,050 Bye, Rach!
- 00:19:01,220 --> 00:19:02,890 RACHEL: Wait, are you leaving?
- 00:19:03,050 --> 00:19:05,510 That's what I meant by "bye."
- 00:19:05,680 --> 00:19:07,850 Well, uh, can I talk to you for a sec?
- 00:19:08,020 --> 00:19:09,480 Okay.
- 00:19:11,650 --> 00:19:14,770 When the doctor does that hernia test....
- 00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:17,070 That's okay.
- 00:19:20,570 --> 00:19:22,320 -What's going on? -Um....
- 00:19:23,370 --> 00:19:26,910 -Well, um, okay, first of all... -Mm-hm.
- 00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:30,000 ...Paolo and I are not back together.
- 00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:31,960 That was a stupid thing I did.
- 00:19:32,120 --> 00:19:35,290 If I could go back in time and do it again...
- 00:19:35,460 --> 00:19:37,630 ...well, I wouldn't.
- 00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:39,760 - Ahem. -Um....
- 00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:41,970 -Heh. -Second of all....
- 00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:44,550 What?
- 00:19:44,970 --> 00:19:48,220 Before I say anything...
- 00:19:48,390 --> 00:19:51,230 ...is this one of those things where you break up with a guy.
- 00:19:51,390 --> 00:19:52,850 Then I tell you what I think...
- 00:19:53,020 --> 00:19:55,440 ...and the next day you get back together with him...
- 00:19:55,610 --> 00:19:58,440 -...and I look like a complete idiot? -No, no, no.
- 00:19:58,610 --> 00:20:01,990 Okay. Um, well, then, I think the guy's scum.
- 00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:06,620 I hate him. I mean, I actually-- I physically hate him.
- 00:20:07,870 --> 00:20:09,160 You know? I always have.
- 00:20:09,330 --> 00:20:13,330 And you are way too good to be with a guy like that.
- 00:20:14,250 --> 00:20:15,750 -Really? -Rach?
- 00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:18,540 You deserve to be with someone who appreciates you...
- 00:20:18,710 --> 00:20:21,010 ...and who gets how funny...
- 00:20:21,170 --> 00:20:23,670 ...and sweet and amazing...
- 00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:26,970 ...and adorable and sexy you are.
- 00:20:27,140 --> 00:20:30,770 You know? Someone who wakes up every morning thinking:
- 00:20:31,020 --> 00:20:34,640 "Oh, my God. I'm with Rachel!" Heh.
- 00:20:34,810 --> 00:20:37,730 You know? Someone who makes you feel good.
- 00:20:37,900 --> 00:20:40,070 Like the way I do with Julie.
- 00:20:45,820 --> 00:20:48,320 Was there a "second of all"?
- 00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:51,700 Um....
- 00:20:52,910 --> 00:20:57,120 No, um, I think that was the whole "all."
- 00:20:59,290 --> 00:21:00,960 I gotta go. Okay?
- 00:21:01,130 --> 00:21:03,630 -Okay. -Thanks.
- 00:21:04,260 --> 00:21:05,840 Okay.
- 00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:13,180 No, I swear to God, Dad!
- 00:21:13,350 --> 00:21:15,480 That's not how they measure pants!
- 00:21:22,900 --> 00:21:26,490 I was thinking of doing it shorter, like Andie MacDowelI's haircut.
- 00:21:26,700 --> 00:21:28,530 -Oh, yeah. Oh, I could do that. -Really?
- 00:21:28,700 --> 00:21:31,240 -Yeah. You wanna do it now? -Great!
- 00:21:31,410 --> 00:21:33,120 -Okay. -Okay.
- 00:21:33,620 --> 00:21:34,870 See you.
- 00:21:35,460 --> 00:21:37,580 Okay, I just wanna make really sure this time.
- 00:21:37,750 --> 00:21:38,830 Uh-huh. Ahem.
- 00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:43,340 Andie MacDowell is the girl from Four Weddings and a Funeral, right?
- 00:21:44,420 --> 00:21:45,460 No.
- 00:21:47,550 --> 00:21:51,390 No, no, no, no, no, no. That's Roddy McDowall.
- 00:21:52,140 --> 00:21:55,350 Andie MacDowell is the guy from Planet of the Apes.
- 00:21:56,310 --> 00:21:58,140 -Oh! Yeah, okay. -Yeah. Okay?
- 00:21:58,310 --> 00:22:00,230 -Thank you. -You're welcome.
- 00:22:07,650 --> 00:22:09,660 [English - US - SDH]
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