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Эпизод с рождением
The One with the Birth
Сезон: 01Серия: 23
Описание
Кэрол находится в больнице на пороге родов, что заставляет Монику задуматься о рождении ребенка. Пока Кэрол рожает, Росс и Сьюзен спорят о том, кто будет ей больше помогать и как назвать малыша. Фиби затаскивает их в кладовку уборщика, чтобы уладить разногласия, но их запирают внутри. Рейчел флиртует с врачом-гинекологом, страдающим от профессионального выгорания из-за ежедневного наблюдения за женской анатомией. Джои помогает одинокой беременной женщине (Лиа Ремини) во время родов. Росс и Сьюзен улаживают свои разногласия и предлагают назвать ребенка Беном, в честь униформы уборщика из кладовки, на что Кэрол соглашается. Этот эпизод изначально задумывался как финал сезона, пока Джеймс Берроуз не возразил, заявив, что он «не хочет, чтобы сериал был о ребенке».
Субтитры
- 00:00:05,588 --> 00:00:08,048 WOMAN [OVER PA]: Dr. Johnson, you have a call on line 7.
- 00:00:08,216 --> 00:00:11,385 She's not here yet. She's having my baby and she's not here.
- 00:00:11,553 --> 00:00:14,471 - Everything's fine. Has her water broken? - I don't know.
- 00:00:14,639 --> 00:00:17,766 But when I spoke to her, she said she'd already passed the mucus plug.
- 00:00:17,934 --> 00:00:19,852 [GROANS]
- 00:00:21,187 --> 00:00:23,272 Do we have to know about that?
- 00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:25,816 What are you gonna do when you have a baby?
- 00:00:25,984 --> 00:00:29,737 I'm gonna be in the waiting room, handing out cigars.
- 00:00:29,946 --> 00:00:33,866 Yes, Joey's made arrangements to have his baby in a movie from the '50s.
- 00:00:35,452 --> 00:00:39,121 Aah, I don't believe this. I mean, she could be giving birth in the cab.
- 00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:40,414 Oh, Ross, relax.
- 00:00:40,582 --> 00:00:42,750 It's only like $2 for the first contraction...
- 00:00:42,917 --> 00:00:46,086 ...and then 50 cents each additional contraction.
- 00:00:47,672 --> 00:00:49,673 What, it's okay when Chandler does it?
- 00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:52,676 You have to pick your moments.
- 00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:56,555 - Hi. Did I miss it? Did I miss it? - No, she's not even here yet.
- 00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:58,515 - Oh. MONICA: What's with the guitar?
- 00:00:58,683 --> 00:01:02,561 I just thought we might be here for a while, so, you know, things might get musical.
- 00:01:02,771 --> 00:01:03,812 [ROSS SHOUTS]
- 00:01:03,980 --> 00:01:06,732 ROSS: Hey, where the hell have you been? - We stopped at the gift shop.
- 00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:09,651 I was looking at stuffed animals, and Susan wanted a Chunky.
- 00:01:09,819 --> 00:01:13,697 Susan wanted a... You're having a baby. A baby. You don't stop for Chunkys.
- 00:01:13,865 --> 00:01:16,617 - I used to have that bumper sticker. - Ha, ha.
- 00:01:17,285 --> 00:01:18,494 You see what I mean?
- 00:02:06,376 --> 00:02:09,795 - "Stopped for a Chunky." - Let it go, Ross.
- 00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:12,005 I got an extra one. You want this?
- 00:02:12,882 --> 00:02:14,466 No.
- 00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:18,011 Hey, how's my favorite parenting team doing?
- 00:02:18,179 --> 00:02:19,805 Dr. Franzblau. Hi.
- 00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:22,933 So I understand you're thinking of having a baby.
- 00:02:23,101 --> 00:02:24,309 Wow.
- 00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:27,062 I see you're nine months pregnant. That's a good start.
- 00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:28,313 [CAROL CHUCKLES]
- 00:02:28,481 --> 00:02:30,649 - How you doing with your contractions? - Oh, I love them.
- 00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:33,360 Each one's like a little party in my uterus.
- 00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:36,572 Ha, ha. They're every four minutes and last 55 seconds.
- 00:02:36,739 --> 00:02:38,824 Fifty-nine seconds. Quartz. Ha.
- 00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:41,368 Swiss quartz. Ha, ha.
- 00:02:43,371 --> 00:02:46,123 - Am I allowed to drink anything? - Ice chips, just ice chips.
- 00:02:46,291 --> 00:02:48,458 - They're at the nurses' station. - I'll get them.
- 00:02:48,626 --> 00:02:51,795 SUSAN: No, I'm getting it. Be right back. - No, I got it. I'm getting it.
- 00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:56,675 Hi. Thought you might like some ice chips.
- 00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:58,218 CAROL: Thanks.
- 00:02:58,386 --> 00:03:00,554 And if you need anything else, I...
- 00:03:00,722 --> 00:03:02,639 ...do not believe we have met. Hi.
- 00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:05,642 I'm Rachel Green.
- 00:03:05,810 --> 00:03:09,104 I'm Carol's ex-husband's sister's roommate. Ha, ha.
- 00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:12,024 It's nice to meet you. I'm Dr. Franzblau.
- 00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:15,652 I'm your roommate's brother's ex-wife's obstetrician.
- 00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:17,279 [LAUGHS]
- 00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:19,656 Oh, that's funny.
- 00:03:25,914 --> 00:03:27,456 I want a baby.
- 00:03:27,624 --> 00:03:30,751 Hmm. Not tonight, honey. I got an early day tomorrow.
- 00:03:31,669 --> 00:03:33,503 Get up. Come on, let's get some coffee.
- 00:03:33,755 --> 00:03:37,049 Oh, okay, because we never do that.
- 00:03:37,967 --> 00:03:39,927 Shoot, shoot, shoot.
- 00:03:40,094 --> 00:03:42,137 Or just fall down. That's good too.
- 00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:44,306 LYDIA: Knick fan? JOEY: Oh, yeah.
- 00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:47,643 - Oh, boy, do they suck. - Hey, listen, lady, I...
- 00:03:47,852 --> 00:03:49,144 Whoa.
- 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:53,440 Look. Look at your man Ewing. Nice shot.
- 00:03:53,608 --> 00:03:56,443 You know, he couldn't hit water if he was standing on a boat.
- 00:03:56,611 --> 00:03:58,111 Oh, yeah? And who do you like?
- 00:03:58,279 --> 00:04:00,530 - Celtics. - Celtics? Ha!
- 00:04:00,698 --> 00:04:03,617 They couldn't hit a boat if... Wait.
- 00:04:05,453 --> 00:04:07,537 They suck, all right?
- 00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:10,374 Shut up. You know, it's a rebuilding year. You...
- 00:04:10,541 --> 00:04:11,875 - Aah! Aah! - Oh. Aah.
- 00:04:12,043 --> 00:04:13,543 Uh, let me get the father. Hey!
- 00:04:13,711 --> 00:04:16,004 We need a father over here! We need a father!
- 00:04:16,172 --> 00:04:17,506 There's no father.
- 00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:19,424 Oh. Oh.
- 00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:20,676 Oh, sorry.
- 00:04:20,885 --> 00:04:23,553 Oh, that's okay. I'm fine. I'm...
- 00:04:23,721 --> 00:04:25,430 - Oh! - Oh, uh...
- 00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:27,099 Okay. All right. Uh, right this way.
- 00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:29,768 All the other pregnant women seem to be going in here.
- 00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:31,228 Okay.
- 00:04:35,191 --> 00:04:37,192 [PLAYING FOLK MUSIC]
- 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:41,196 [SINGING] They're tiny and chubby And so sweet to touch
- 00:04:41,364 --> 00:04:45,033 But soon they'll grow up And resent you so much
- 00:04:47,412 --> 00:04:51,039 Now they're yelling at you And you don't know why
- 00:04:51,207 --> 00:04:58,505 And you cry and you cry and you cry
- 00:04:58,673 --> 00:05:00,841 - Thanks, Ross. - Yeah. I'm paying you to stop.
- 00:05:01,676 --> 00:05:03,176 Okay.
- 00:05:04,470 --> 00:05:08,432 Oh, look, twins. Hi, guys. Oh, cute, cute.
- 00:05:09,475 --> 00:05:13,520 No fair. I don't even have one. How come they get two?
- 00:05:13,688 --> 00:05:16,481 - You'll get one. - Oh, yeah? When?
- 00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:18,025 CHANDLER: I'll tell you what.
- 00:05:18,192 --> 00:05:20,569 When we're 40, if neither of us are married...
- 00:05:21,404 --> 00:05:23,613 ...what do you say you and I have one?
- 00:05:23,781 --> 00:05:25,574 Why won't I be married when I'm 40?
- 00:05:26,784 --> 00:05:28,952 Oh, no, no, no. I just meant hypothetically.
- 00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:32,122 Okay, hypothetically, why won't I be married when I'm 40?
- 00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:34,541 - No, no, no. - No, no, what is it? Seriously.
- 00:05:34,709 --> 00:05:37,210 Is there something fundamentally unmarriable about me?
- 00:05:38,129 --> 00:05:40,630 - Uh... Uh... - Well?
- 00:05:40,798 --> 00:05:44,343 Dear God. This parachute is a knapsack.
- 00:05:47,055 --> 00:05:48,513 - Hey. - Hey. Ooh.
- 00:05:48,681 --> 00:05:50,682 - Look at you, dressy-dress. - Yeah.
- 00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:52,726 Did you go home and change?
- 00:05:52,894 --> 00:05:56,229 Yeah, well, it's an important day. I wanna look nice.
- 00:05:56,397 --> 00:05:59,066 Um, has Dr. Franzblau been by?
- 00:06:00,651 --> 00:06:01,818 No, I haven't seen him.
- 00:06:01,986 --> 00:06:04,988 Well, where is he? He is supposed to be here.
- 00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:09,159 What if the baby needs him?
- 00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:11,453 Rachel, what is the deal with you and doctors?
- 00:06:11,662 --> 00:06:15,624 - Is, like, your father a doctor? - Yeah. Why?
- 00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:17,834 No reason.
- 00:06:19,670 --> 00:06:21,963 Mom, we've been through this.
- 00:06:22,131 --> 00:06:24,758 No, I am not calling him.
- 00:06:24,926 --> 00:06:27,886 I don't care if it is his kid. The guy's a jerk.
- 00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:31,973 No, I am not alone. Joey's here.
- 00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:34,643 What do you mean, "Joey who?"
- 00:06:34,811 --> 00:06:36,103 [MOUTHS] Joey who?
- 00:06:36,270 --> 00:06:39,606 - Tribbiani. - Joey Tribbiani.
- 00:06:40,274 --> 00:06:44,528 Yes. Okay. Hold on.
- 00:06:44,695 --> 00:06:47,072 - She wants to talk to you. - No.
- 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:49,032 Take the phone.
- 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:50,951 Hi. Yeah, it's me.
- 00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:52,285 [JOEY CHUCKLES]
- 00:06:53,204 --> 00:06:55,997 Oh, no, no, no. We're just friends. Yeah.
- 00:06:56,165 --> 00:06:58,125 Yeah, I'm single.
- 00:06:58,584 --> 00:07:00,335 Twenty-five.
- 00:07:00,503 --> 00:07:01,753 An actor.
- 00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:03,505 Hello?
- 00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:10,804 - She's not much of a phone person. - Yeah.
- 00:07:10,972 --> 00:07:14,808 So, uh, what's the deal with this father guy?
- 00:07:14,976 --> 00:07:18,854 I mean, if someone was having my baby somewhere, I'd wanna know about it.
- 00:07:19,021 --> 00:07:23,233 Hey, Knick fan, am I interested in your views on fatherhood? Um, no.
- 00:07:25,611 --> 00:07:28,321 Okay. Uh, look, maybe I should just go.
- 00:07:28,489 --> 00:07:31,199 - Maybe you should. - Good luck.
- 00:07:31,367 --> 00:07:34,703 And, uh, take care, huh?
- 00:07:41,210 --> 00:07:44,379 Know what the Celtics' problem is? They let the players run the team.
- 00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:45,755 Oh, that is so not true.
- 00:07:45,923 --> 00:07:47,716 - Oh, it is. It is. - It isn't. Isn't.
- 00:07:47,925 --> 00:07:50,427 - Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. - Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
- 00:07:50,595 --> 00:07:52,512 You're gonna kill me!
- 00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:56,475 - Fifteen more seconds. Fourteen, 13, 12... - Count faster.
- 00:07:56,642 --> 00:07:59,811 It's gonna be okay. We're doing it for Jordy. Keep focusing on Jordy.
- 00:07:59,979 --> 00:08:01,104 Who the hell is Jordy?
- 00:08:02,023 --> 00:08:03,398 - Your son. - Whoa, whoa whoa.
- 00:08:03,566 --> 00:08:04,858 I don't have a son named Jordy.
- 00:08:05,026 --> 00:08:07,152 We all agreed, my son's name is Jamie.
- 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:10,113 Well, Jamie was the name of Susan's first girlfriend...
- 00:08:10,281 --> 00:08:12,574 ...so we went back to Jordy.
- 00:08:12,950 --> 00:08:13,992 Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:16,703 What do you mean, "back to Jordy"? We never landed on Jordy.
- 00:08:16,871 --> 00:08:22,125 We just passed by it during the whole Jesse/Cody/Dillon fiasco.
- 00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:23,376 Ow, ow, ow!
- 00:08:23,544 --> 00:08:25,212 - What? What? What? - Leg cramp, leg cramp.
- 00:08:25,379 --> 00:08:27,422 ROSS: I got it. I got it. - I got it. I'm doing it.
- 00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:30,008 You get to sleep with her. I get the cramps.
- 00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:31,343 No, you don't.
- 00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,803 - That is it. I want both of you out. - What?
- 00:08:33,971 --> 00:08:35,430 - She started it. - He started it.
- 00:08:35,598 --> 00:08:36,640 I don't care.
- 00:08:36,807 --> 00:08:39,059 I'm trying to get a person out of my body here...
- 00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:42,687 ...and you're not making it any easier. Now go!
- 00:08:45,107 --> 00:08:46,608 - Thanks a lot. - See what you did?
- 00:08:46,776 --> 00:08:49,152 - Yeah. Listen... - Out.
- 00:08:51,322 --> 00:08:55,742 Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
- 00:08:55,910 --> 00:08:57,702 Oh, no.
- 00:08:58,496 --> 00:09:00,080 Ew.
- 00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:03,667 What is that? Something exploded.
- 00:09:03,834 --> 00:09:06,169 It's just her water breaking. Calm down, will you?
- 00:09:06,337 --> 00:09:09,714 Water breaking? What do you mean? What's that, water breaking?
- 00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:13,510 Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
- 00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:18,557 - Oh, please. This is so your fault. - How? How is this my fault?
- 00:09:18,724 --> 00:09:21,685 Look, Carol never threw me out of a room before you came along.
- 00:09:21,894 --> 00:09:25,480 Well, there's a lot of things Carol never did before I came along.
- 00:09:26,107 --> 00:09:29,568 - Are you trying to be clever? - You are so threatened by me.
- 00:09:29,735 --> 00:09:32,779 - Everything I say is a problem. PHOEBE: Hey, hey, hey. Okay. All right.
- 00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:34,447 That's it. Get in here. Come on.
- 00:09:34,615 --> 00:09:38,410 My God, you guys. I don't believe you.
- 00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:41,746 There are children coming into the world in this very building...
- 00:09:41,914 --> 00:09:45,458 ...and your fighting noises are not the first thing they should be hearing.
- 00:09:45,626 --> 00:09:48,086 So just stop all the yelling! Just stop it!
- 00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:50,714 Yeah, Susan.
- 00:09:50,881 --> 00:09:54,593 Don't make me do this again! I don't like my voice like this!
- 00:09:59,807 --> 00:10:02,225 Okay, who wants to hear something ironic?
- 00:10:07,523 --> 00:10:08,565 PHOEBE & SUSAN: Help!
- 00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:10,108 ROSS: Come on! PHOEBE & SUSAN: Help!
- 00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:12,902 ROSS: I'm having a baby in there! SUSAN: Hello?
- 00:10:13,070 --> 00:10:15,238 - Help! ROSS: Okay, everyone stand back.
- 00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:20,785 Ow.
- 00:10:23,247 --> 00:10:25,332 Are they here yet?
- 00:10:25,499 --> 00:10:27,917 No, honey, but don't worry, we're gonna find them.
- 00:10:28,085 --> 00:10:31,254 And until we do, we are all here for you, okay?
- 00:10:31,422 --> 00:10:32,839 - Okay. Okay. RACHEL: Okay?
- 00:10:33,007 --> 00:10:36,509 Anyway, you were telling me about Paris. It sounds wonderful.
- 00:10:36,677 --> 00:10:40,138 It really was. There was this great little pastry shop right by my hotel...
- 00:10:40,348 --> 00:10:41,389 [CAROL YELLING]
- 00:10:41,557 --> 00:10:44,601 There you go, dear. You...
- 00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:46,770 Come on, Lydia, you can do it. Push.
- 00:10:46,979 --> 00:10:50,148 Push him out, push him out. Harder, harder.
- 00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:52,609 Push him out, push him out. Way out.
- 00:10:52,777 --> 00:10:55,612 Let's get that ball and really move. Hey, hey. Ho, ho.
- 00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:56,863 Let's get...
- 00:10:59,033 --> 00:11:01,242 I was just... Yeah, okay.
- 00:11:01,410 --> 00:11:03,703 Push, push, push.
- 00:11:05,831 --> 00:11:08,416 What are you gonna do, suck the door open?
- 00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:14,381 - Help! Help! Help! - Help!
- 00:11:14,548 --> 00:11:18,677 [SINGING] And they found their bodies The very next day
- 00:11:18,844 --> 00:11:22,764 And they found their bodies The very next...
- 00:11:23,891 --> 00:11:25,517 La, la, la, la, la, la
- 00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:27,477 ROSS & SUSAN: Help!
- 00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:32,190 No, Mom, everything's going fine, really. Yeah, Ross is great. He's, uh...
- 00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:36,945 He's in a whole other place. Yeah. No, he's gone.
- 00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:40,281 No, no, you don't have to fly back. Really.
- 00:11:40,449 --> 00:11:42,575 What do you mean, this might be your only chance?
- 00:11:42,743 --> 00:11:45,120 Oh. Would you stop? I'm only 26.
- 00:11:45,287 --> 00:11:47,122 I'm not even thinking about babies yet.
- 00:11:47,289 --> 00:11:48,623 [BABY COOING]
- 00:11:48,791 --> 00:11:50,792 [SOBBING]
- 00:11:51,752 --> 00:11:53,753 [CHANDLER MIMICS STATIC CRACKLING]
- 00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:04,347 - Where have you been? JOEY: Oh, I just had a baby.
- 00:12:05,683 --> 00:12:07,684 Mazel tov.
- 00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:13,982 I don't know. It could be an hour, it could be three.
- 00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:16,109 But relax, she's doing great.
- 00:12:16,277 --> 00:12:20,864 So, uh, tell me, are you currently involved with anyone?
- 00:12:21,073 --> 00:12:24,075 No. No, not at... At the moment, no, I'm not, no.
- 00:12:24,243 --> 00:12:26,035 - Are you? - No, no.
- 00:12:26,203 --> 00:12:28,079 It's hard enough to get women to go out with me.
- 00:12:28,247 --> 00:12:32,167 Heh. Right, yeah, I've heard that about cute doctors.
- 00:12:32,835 --> 00:12:33,877 No, no, really.
- 00:12:34,044 --> 00:12:38,548 I suppose it's because I spend so much time, you know...
- 00:12:39,091 --> 00:12:40,341 ...where I do.
- 00:12:42,386 --> 00:12:44,012 - Oh. - Mm.
- 00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:48,892 I try not to let work affect my personal life, but it's hard when you do...
- 00:12:49,059 --> 00:12:51,770 ...what I do. It's like, uh...
- 00:12:51,937 --> 00:12:54,189 Well, for instance, what do you do?
- 00:12:54,356 --> 00:12:56,983 - I'm a waitress. - Okay, all right.
- 00:12:57,151 --> 00:13:00,320 Well, aren't there times when you come home at the end of the day...
- 00:13:00,488 --> 00:13:04,949 ...and you're just like, "If I see one more cup of coffee..."
- 00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:11,831 Ahem. Yeah. Gotcha.
- 00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:17,754 - I'm gonna check up on your friend. - Okay, that's fine.
- 00:13:25,888 --> 00:13:29,390 - So how did you know I was even here? ROY: Your mom called me.
- 00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:31,726 So is this her?
- 00:13:31,894 --> 00:13:33,645 No, this is a loaner.
- 00:13:35,606 --> 00:13:37,899 Listen, I'm sorry you had to do this by yourself.
- 00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:43,988 Oh. I wasn't by myself. I had a doctor, a nurse and a helper guy.
- 00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:47,242 So did you see who won the game?
- 00:13:47,409 --> 00:13:50,954 Yeah, Knicks by 10. They suck.
- 00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:53,915 Eh, they're not so bad.
- 00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:17,730 ROSS: Come on. Come on.
- 00:14:20,234 --> 00:14:24,070 Damn it, damn it, damn it. This is all your fault.
- 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,948 This is supposed to be, like, the greatest day of my life.
- 00:14:27,116 --> 00:14:30,076 My son is being born, and I should be in there, you know?
- 00:14:30,244 --> 00:14:32,161 Instead I'm stuck in a closet with you.
- 00:14:32,329 --> 00:14:35,665 I've been waiting for this just as much as you have.
- 00:14:35,833 --> 00:14:39,002 Believe me, no one has been waiting for this as much as I have, okay?
- 00:14:39,169 --> 00:14:40,879 And you know what the funny thing is?
- 00:14:41,046 --> 00:14:43,631 When this day is over, you get to go home with the baby.
- 00:14:43,799 --> 00:14:46,217 - Where does that leave me? - You get to be the father.
- 00:14:46,385 --> 00:14:50,138 Everyone knows who you are. Who am I? There's Father's Day. There's Mother's Day.
- 00:14:50,306 --> 00:14:52,599 There's no Lesbian Lover Day.
- 00:14:52,766 --> 00:14:55,226 Every day is Lesbian Lover Day.
- 00:14:58,063 --> 00:14:59,814 This is so great.
- 00:15:03,986 --> 00:15:05,570 You wanna explain that?
- 00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:09,532 I mean, well, because when I was growing up, you know, my dad left...
- 00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:12,744 ...and my mother died, and my stepfather went to jail.
- 00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:16,664 So I barely had enough pieces of parents to make one whole one.
- 00:15:17,791 --> 00:15:21,336 And here's this little baby who has like three whole parents...
- 00:15:21,503 --> 00:15:25,256 ...who care about it so much that they fight over who gets to love it the most...
- 00:15:25,424 --> 00:15:27,842 ...and it's not even born yet.
- 00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:30,553 It's just the luckiest baby in the whole world.
- 00:15:33,349 --> 00:15:35,433 I'm sorry. You were fighting.
- 00:15:37,561 --> 00:15:39,020 Where are they?
- 00:15:39,229 --> 00:15:42,190 - I'm sure they'll be here soon. - They wouldn't miss this.
- 00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:47,362 Relax. You're only at nine centimeters, and the baby's at zero station.
- 00:15:50,699 --> 00:15:52,575 Okay, you are really frightening me.
- 00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:54,619 [CAROL SCREAMS]
- 00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:57,580 Somebody wanna help me? Trying to rip out my heart.
- 00:15:59,208 --> 00:16:02,210 Uh... Oh, that's great. Anybody seen a nipple?
- 00:16:03,754 --> 00:16:06,464 All right. Ten centimeters. Here we go.
- 00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:09,926 - All right, honey, time to start pushing. - But they're not here yet.
- 00:16:10,094 --> 00:16:12,220 Sorry, I can't tell the baby to wait for them.
- 00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:15,223 Oh, God.
- 00:16:17,059 --> 00:16:18,101 [ROSS GRUNTS]
- 00:16:18,268 --> 00:16:20,228 Okay, got the vent open.
- 00:16:20,396 --> 00:16:21,813 Hi, I'm Ben.
- 00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:23,481 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:26,359 I'm hospital worker Ben.
- 00:16:26,527 --> 00:16:28,361 It's Ben to the rescue.
- 00:16:28,570 --> 00:16:30,947 - [SINGING] La, la, la - Okay, okay, okay.
- 00:16:31,115 --> 00:16:32,198 - Ben, you ready? - Yeah.
- 00:16:32,366 --> 00:16:34,033 - All right, give me your foot. - Okay.
- 00:16:34,201 --> 00:16:38,204 - Okay, on three, Ben. One, two, three. Unh. PHOEBE: Ooh.
- 00:16:38,747 --> 00:16:42,583 - Come on, Ben. Okay. That's it, Ben. PHOEBE: Okay. Uh-huh.
- 00:16:42,793 --> 00:16:44,460 SUSAN: What do you see?
- 00:16:44,628 --> 00:16:48,381 PHOEBE: Well, Susan, I see what appears to be a dark vent.
- 00:16:48,549 --> 00:16:49,882 Wait.
- 00:16:50,050 --> 00:16:53,594 Yes, it is, in fact, a dark vent.
- 00:16:54,972 --> 00:16:56,389 [ROSS & SUSAN GASPING]
- 00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:58,891 Pheebs, it's open! It's open!
- 00:17:01,770 --> 00:17:05,231 Wait! You forgot your legs!
- 00:17:05,983 --> 00:17:08,026 ALL: Push. Push. - We're here!
- 00:17:08,193 --> 00:17:09,861 [ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
- 00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:12,822 ROSS: We're here. - Where have you been?!
- 00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:14,115 Long story, honey.
- 00:17:14,283 --> 00:17:16,451 FRANZBLAU: All right, Carol, I need you to keep pushing.
- 00:17:16,618 --> 00:17:18,411 I need... Excuse me, can I have this?
- 00:17:18,662 --> 00:17:20,246 Oh, sorry.
- 00:17:20,456 --> 00:17:21,664 All right, all right.
- 00:17:21,832 --> 00:17:24,917 There's too many people in this room. There's about to be one more.
- 00:17:25,085 --> 00:17:29,464 So anybody who's not an ex-husband or a lesbian life partner, out you go.
- 00:17:29,631 --> 00:17:31,340 - Come on, out. RACHEL: Okay, good luck.
- 00:17:31,508 --> 00:17:33,676 - Bye, bye, bye. - Good luck, you guys, good luck.
- 00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:37,805 Let me ask you, do you have to be Carol's lesbian life partner?
- 00:17:37,973 --> 00:17:39,515 NURSE: Out.
- 00:17:40,809 --> 00:17:43,227 FRANZBLAU: All right. All right, he's crowning. Here he comes.
- 00:17:43,395 --> 00:17:46,230 Let me see. I gotta see, I gotta see.
- 00:17:46,398 --> 00:17:48,066 Oh... Oh.
- 00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:51,319 Oh! A head.
- 00:17:51,487 --> 00:17:54,489 Oh. It's huge. Carol, how are you doing this?
- 00:17:55,783 --> 00:17:57,825 Not helping.
- 00:17:58,035 --> 00:17:59,952 FRANZBLAU: You're doing great. You're doing fine.
- 00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:02,121 - Hello? - Oh, sorry.
- 00:18:02,289 --> 00:18:04,248 What do you see? What do you see?
- 00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:06,959 We got a head, we got shoulders, we got arms, we got...
- 00:18:07,127 --> 00:18:10,171 Oh, look at the little... The fingers.
- 00:18:10,339 --> 00:18:11,672 Oh, a chest and a stomach...
- 00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:14,759 ...and it's a boy, definitely a boy.
- 00:18:14,968 --> 00:18:18,262 All right. Okay, legs, knees and feet.
- 00:18:18,472 --> 00:18:19,514 Oh, oh.
- 00:18:21,725 --> 00:18:23,726 [GASPING]
- 00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:26,687 He's here. He's...
- 00:18:27,147 --> 00:18:28,439 He's a person.
- 00:18:28,649 --> 00:18:29,690 Oh!
- 00:18:29,858 --> 00:18:31,859 - Look at that. - What does he look like?
- 00:18:32,528 --> 00:18:36,030 Kind of like my Uncle Ed, covered in Jell-O.
- 00:18:36,740 --> 00:18:38,032 Really?
- 00:18:38,659 --> 00:18:40,743 PHOEBE [FROM ABOVE]: You guys, he's beautiful.
- 00:18:40,911 --> 00:18:43,329 Aw, thanks, Pheebs.
- 00:18:49,002 --> 00:18:53,673 No shouting, but we still need a name for this little guy.
- 00:18:54,508 --> 00:18:56,717 How about Ben?
- 00:18:57,219 --> 00:18:59,011 I like Ben.
- 00:18:59,179 --> 00:19:02,557 Ben.
- 00:19:02,724 --> 00:19:03,766 [BEN COOS]
- 00:19:03,934 --> 00:19:05,935 - Ha, ha. Ben's good. - Yeah?
- 00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:08,187 How come you never mentioned Ben before?
- 00:19:08,355 --> 00:19:11,440 - We, uh, just cooked it up. SUSAN: Ha, ha.
- 00:19:11,942 --> 00:19:14,777 That's what we were off doing.
- 00:19:15,696 --> 00:19:17,029 - Hi. - Hey.
- 00:19:17,197 --> 00:19:19,782 - Can we come in? - Yeah, come in. Come in.
- 00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:22,618 [RACHEL GASPS]
- 00:19:25,372 --> 00:19:26,873 [BEN CRYING]
- 00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:28,749 I know. I know.
- 00:19:28,917 --> 00:19:31,752 Everybody, there's someone I'd like you to meet.
- 00:19:32,421 --> 00:19:33,921 Yeah. This is Ben.
- 00:19:34,631 --> 00:19:35,673 - Hi, Ben. - Hi, Ben.
- 00:19:35,883 --> 00:19:38,634 - Ben, this is everybody. - Hey, Ben.
- 00:19:38,802 --> 00:19:41,637 Susan, he looks just like you.
- 00:19:44,099 --> 00:19:45,808 SUSAN: Thanks. Ha, ha.
- 00:19:45,976 --> 00:19:49,312 Oh, God, I can't believe one of us actually has one of these.
- 00:19:49,479 --> 00:19:51,981 I know. I still am one of these.
- 00:19:54,568 --> 00:19:55,818 - Ross? ROSS: Yeah?
- 00:19:55,986 --> 00:19:57,528 Can I?
- 00:19:59,114 --> 00:20:03,034 Okay, the head, the head. You gotta...
- 00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:10,374 Hi, Ben. Hi.
- 00:20:10,542 --> 00:20:13,336 I'm your Aunt Monica. Yes, I am.
- 00:20:13,503 --> 00:20:16,255 I'm your Aunt Monica.
- 00:20:17,925 --> 00:20:19,508 I...
- 00:20:21,178 --> 00:20:23,054 I will always have gum.
- 00:20:27,684 --> 00:20:29,268 Ben...
- 00:20:29,436 --> 00:20:32,772 ...I want you to know that there may be some times...
- 00:20:32,940 --> 00:20:35,650 ...when I may not be around...
- 00:20:35,817 --> 00:20:37,401 ...like this.
- 00:20:37,569 --> 00:20:39,820 ["TWINKLE, TWINKLE LITTLE STAR" PLAYING ON MOBILE]
- 00:20:39,988 --> 00:20:42,949 But I'll still always come back...
- 00:20:43,742 --> 00:20:45,576 ...like this.
- 00:20:46,662 --> 00:20:50,539 And sometimes I may be away longer...
- 00:20:50,707 --> 00:20:52,375 ...like this.
- 00:20:55,796 --> 00:20:58,464 But I'll still always come back...
- 00:21:01,009 --> 00:21:02,843 ...like this.
- 00:21:03,971 --> 00:21:09,016 And sometimes I'll want you to steal third, and I'll go like this.
- 00:21:17,651 --> 00:21:19,610 Oh, he is so amazing.
- 00:21:19,778 --> 00:21:22,238 Yeah, I know. Look at him.
- 00:21:22,406 --> 00:21:25,950 Ben.
- 00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:27,785 Hey, Ben.
- 00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:31,664 Nothing. I don't think that's his name.
- 00:21:32,749 --> 00:21:35,876 Oh, look, look, he's closing his eyes.
- 00:21:36,044 --> 00:21:38,921 Oh, look, he's opening his eyes.
- 00:21:41,091 --> 00:21:43,551 He doesn't do much, does he?
- 00:21:43,719 --> 00:21:46,554 Nope, this is pretty much it.
- 00:21:53,812 --> 00:21:56,981 - You guys wanna get some coffee? ALL: Yeah.
- 00:21:57,524 --> 00:21:59,984 All right, I'll see you guys later.
- 00:22:08,910 --> 00:22:10,703 [MOUTHS] Hi, Ben.
- 00:22:10,871 --> 00:22:13,789 - [MOUTHS] I love you. - Hi, Ben.
- 00:22:13,957 --> 00:22:16,083 [BRAHMS' "WIEGENLIED" PLAYING MOBILE]
- 00:22:27,888 --> 00:22:29,889 [JOEY BLOWS RASPBERRY]
- 00:22:31,350 --> 00:22:32,558 [CHANDLER BLOWS RASPBERRY]
- 00:22:32,726 --> 00:22:35,561 Oh, look, he's closing his eyes again.
- 00:22:36,521 --> 00:22:38,522 [English - US - SDH]
- 00:00:08,210 --> 00:00:11,460 Ее еще нет! Она рожает моего ребенка, а ее еще здесь нет!
- 00:00:11,710 --> 00:00:13,550 Успокойся, все нормально. Воды уже отошли?
- 00:00:13,800 --> 00:00:14,630 Не знаю
- 00:00:14,880 --> 00:00:19,430 Она сказала, что уже вышла слизистая пробка
- 00:00:21,350 --> 00:00:23,810 Нам обязательно это знать?
- 00:00:24,060 --> 00:00:25,810 Джои, что ты будешь делать во время родов твоего ребенка?
- 00:00:26,060 --> 00:00:29,980 Буду сидеть в приемной и угощать всех сигарами
- 00:00:30,230 --> 00:00:35,570 Да, Джои подготовился к родам в кинофильме 50-х годов
- 00:00:36,150 --> 00:00:39,240 Это какой-то абсурд! Она, может быть, уже рожает в такси!
- 00:00:39,490 --> 00:00:42,820 Росс, успокойся. Там, небось, берут 2 доллара за первую схватку...
- 00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:47,160 ...и по 50 центов за каждую следующую
- 00:00:47,410 --> 00:00:50,830 Что? А когда Чендлер шутит, ему можно?
- 00:00:51,080 --> 00:00:54,000 Нужно правильно выбирать момент
- 00:00:54,250 --> 00:00:56,840 - Привет, я уже всё пропустила? - Нет, она еще даже не приехала.
- 00:00:57,090 --> 00:00:58,420 А зачем гитара?
- 00:00:58,670 --> 00:01:03,600 Я подумала, нам еще долго тут сидеть. Может, придёт вдохновение!
- 00:01:03,850 --> 00:01:06,850 - Где вас носило? - Мы зашли в сувенирный магазин.
- 00:01:07,100 --> 00:01:09,390 Я хотела мягкую игрушку. А ей захотелось конфетку "Толстушку".
- 00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:11,770 Сюзан захотелось... Ты же рожаешь!
- 00:01:12,020 --> 00:01:13,770 На кой хрен нам сдались эти толстушки!
- 00:01:14,020 --> 00:01:17,190 У меня была такая наклейка на бампере
- 00:01:17,440 --> 00:01:20,200 Видишь, что я имел в виду?
- 00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:23,570 Первый сезон, 23-я серия "Роды"
- 00:02:06,540 --> 00:02:08,290 "Она хотела Толстушку!"
- 00:02:08,540 --> 00:02:09,710 Да успокойся, Росс
- 00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:13,510 У меня есть лишняя. Хочешь?
- 00:02:16,010 --> 00:02:19,680 - Привет. Как тут моя бравая троица? - Доктор Францблау, здравствуйте.
- 00:02:19,930 --> 00:02:22,810 Я так понял, вы собираетесь завести ребенка
- 00:02:23,060 --> 00:02:27,650 Ага! И вы на девятом месяце беременности. Хорошее начало
- 00:02:27,900 --> 00:02:29,150 Как проходят схватки?
- 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:34,280 Я их обожаю! Каждая - как маленький праздник у меня в матке!
- 00:02:34,530 --> 00:02:36,410 Они идут каждые четыре минуты, а последняя - 55 секунд
- 00:02:36,660 --> 00:02:39,490 59 секунд. Кварцевые - ха!
- 00:02:39,740 --> 00:02:42,540 Швейцарские кварцевые - ха-ха!
- 00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:44,960 Мне можно что-нибудь пить?
- 00:02:45,210 --> 00:02:47,460 Лед. Сосать ледяные стружки. Они есть на посту медсестры.
- 00:02:47,710 --> 00:02:51,590 - Я принесу! - Нет, я принесу! - Я принесу! - Нет, я принесу!
- 00:02:54,010 --> 00:02:57,010 Привет! Я подумала, тебе захочется ледяных стружек
- 00:02:57,260 --> 00:03:00,430 - Спасибо. - А если понадобится еще, то...
- 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:04,100 ...кажется, мы незнакомы
- 00:03:04,100 --> 00:03:05,520 Я Рэйчел Грин
- 00:03:05,770 --> 00:03:09,270 Я соседка сестры бывшего мужа Кэрол
- 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:11,940 Приятно познакомиться. Я доктор Францблау
- 00:03:12,190 --> 00:03:17,110 Я акушер бывшей жены брата вашей соседки
- 00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:20,660 Ой, как забавно!
- 00:03:25,870 --> 00:03:28,120 Я хочу ребенка!
- 00:03:28,370 --> 00:03:31,380 В другой раз, дорогая. Мне завтра рано вставать
- 00:03:31,630 --> 00:03:34,300 Вставай. Давай сходим, возьмем кофе
- 00:03:34,550 --> 00:03:37,630 Ладно. Это будет так оригинально
- 00:03:37,880 --> 00:03:39,720 Бросай, бросай, бросай!
- 00:03:39,970 --> 00:03:42,890 Или просто падай. Так тоже хорошо
- 00:03:43,140 --> 00:03:44,310 - Болельщик "Никс"? - Ага!
- 00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:46,480 Вот блин, какие калеки!
- 00:03:46,730 --> 00:03:49,140 Слушайте, девушка... Ого!
- 00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:51,310 Смотрите!
- 00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:52,650 Посмотрите на вашего Юинга
- 00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:56,400 Какой бросок! Знаете, он не попал бы в воду, даже стоя в лодке!
- 00:03:56,650 --> 00:03:58,070 Да ну? А за кого болеете вы?
- 00:03:58,320 --> 00:04:00,490 - За "Селтикс". - "Селтикс"?
- 00:04:00,740 --> 00:04:02,490 Ха! Да они не попали бы в лодку, даже...
- 00:04:02,740 --> 00:04:05,120 Стоп...
- 00:04:05,580 --> 00:04:07,750 Короче, они - пижоны, ясно?
- 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:11,880 Да ну вас! В этом году у них реорганизация...
- 00:04:12,170 --> 00:04:15,920 Эй, приведите сюда отца! Нам нужен отец! Отец!
- 00:04:16,170 --> 00:04:19,510 Нет... никакого отца
- 00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:21,430 Ой, извините
- 00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:25,390 Все нормально. Ничего страшного. Ничего...
- 00:04:25,510 --> 00:04:27,270 Ладно! Так. Давайте сюда
- 00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:32,190 Кажется, все остальные беременные женщины заходят сюда
- 00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:41,110 Малышек-крепышек так славно держать
- 00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:46,540 Когда ж вы большие, на нас вам начхать
- 00:04:46,870 --> 00:04:50,920 Вот вырастут детки, и вынудят мать
- 00:04:51,170 --> 00:04:55,090 И рыдать, и рыдать, и рыдать
- 00:04:55,340 --> 00:04:58,460 И рыдать, и рыдать, и рыдать
- 00:04:58,710 --> 00:05:02,340 - Спасибо, Росс. - Это чтобы ты прекратила.
- 00:05:04,300 --> 00:05:09,270 Ой, смотрите, близняшки. Привет, детки. Какие славные!
- 00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:10,480 Это нечестно!
- 00:05:10,730 --> 00:05:13,560 У меня нет даже одного! Почему у них сразу двое?
- 00:05:13,810 --> 00:05:15,360 И у тебя тоже будет
- 00:05:15,610 --> 00:05:16,400 Да? Когда?
- 00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:20,900 Вот что. Когда нам будет 40, если мы оба останемся холостыми...
- 00:05:21,150 --> 00:05:23,410 ...что если нам пожениться и завести ребенка?
- 00:05:23,660 --> 00:05:27,080 Почему это я не выйду замуж до сорока лет?
- 00:05:27,410 --> 00:05:28,830 Нет-нет, я просто сказал гипотетически
- 00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:33,580 Ладно, гипотетически - почему я не выйду замуж до сорока лет?
- 00:05:33,620 --> 00:05:38,710 В чем дело? Серьезно! Я что, патологически непригодна в жёны?
- 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:40,550 Ну?
- 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:45,390 Господи боже! Этот парашют - просто вещмешок!
- 00:05:48,350 --> 00:05:50,770 У-у, какие мы нарядные
- 00:05:51,020 --> 00:05:52,690 Ты что, ходила домой переодеваться?
- 00:05:52,940 --> 00:05:56,690 Ну, это важный день. Хочется хорошо выглядеть
- 00:05:56,940 --> 00:06:00,570 Доктор Францблау здесь... не проходил?
- 00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:01,780 Нет, я его не видела
- 00:06:02,030 --> 00:06:06,240 И где же он? Он обязан быть здесь
- 00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:09,030 Что если ребенку понадобится помощь?
- 00:06:09,290 --> 00:06:11,370 Рэйчел, что за пунктик у тебя насчет врачей?
- 00:06:11,620 --> 00:06:13,540 У тебя что, отец - врач?
- 00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:16,210 Да. А что?
- 00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:19,170 Ничего
- 00:06:19,630 --> 00:06:21,880 Мама, сколько можно об этом
- 00:06:22,130 --> 00:06:24,630 Нет, я не собираюсь ему звонить
- 00:06:24,880 --> 00:06:27,890 Мне плевать, что это его ребенок. Этот мужик - козёл!
- 00:06:28,140 --> 00:06:32,560 Нет, я не одна. Со мной Джои
- 00:06:32,810 --> 00:06:34,560 В смысле "Джои, а как дальше"?
- 00:06:34,810 --> 00:06:35,980 Джои, а как дальше
- 00:06:36,230 --> 00:06:40,860 - Триббиани. - Джои Триббиани... Да.
- 00:06:43,150 --> 00:06:44,400 Хорошо. Сейчас
- 00:06:44,650 --> 00:06:46,990 Она хочет с тобой поговорить
- 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:49,740 Бери трубку!
- 00:06:49,990 --> 00:06:52,950 Здравствуйте! Да, это я
- 00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:55,830 Нет-нет, мы просто друзья
- 00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:58,250 Да, я холостой
- 00:06:58,500 --> 00:07:00,250 Двадцать пять
- 00:07:00,500 --> 00:07:03,170 Актёр. Аллё?
- 00:07:08,180 --> 00:07:10,760 Она не очень разговорчива по телефону
- 00:07:11,010 --> 00:07:14,600 Так что... что там за дела с этим отцом?
- 00:07:14,850 --> 00:07:18,770 Уж если женщина рожала бы от меня ребенка, я бы хотел об этом знать
- 00:07:19,020 --> 00:07:24,740 Слышишь, болельщик "Никс", а мне никак нельзя без твоего мнения об отцовстве, да?
- 00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,200 Ну тогда... мне лучше уйти
- 00:07:28,450 --> 00:07:29,870 Видимо, да
- 00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:32,540 Удачи тебе...
- 00:07:32,790 --> 00:07:35,500 ...и всего хорошего
- 00:07:41,380 --> 00:07:44,210 Знаешь, почему "Селтикс" - козлы? У них игроки управляют командой!
- 00:07:44,460 --> 00:07:45,630 Это наглая ложь!
- 00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:47,630 - Неправда! - Правда! - Неправда! - Правда!
- 00:07:47,880 --> 00:07:50,140 - Дыши. - Дыши. - Дыши. - Дыши.
- 00:07:50,390 --> 00:07:52,390 Вы меня убьете!
- 00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:56,730 - Еще 15 секунд! 14, 13, 12... - Считай быстрее!
- 00:07:56,980 --> 00:07:59,650 Все будет хорошо! Помни - мы делаем это ради Джорди!
- 00:07:59,900 --> 00:08:01,730 Что за хрен этот Джорди?
- 00:08:01,980 --> 00:08:02,730 Твой сын
- 00:08:02,980 --> 00:08:04,820 Стоп-стоп-стоп, моего сына не будут звать Джорди
- 00:08:05,070 --> 00:08:08,070 Мы все решили, что моего сына будут звать Джейми
- 00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:10,820 Ну... Джейми звали первую девушку Сюзан...
- 00:08:11,070 --> 00:08:12,740 ...так что мы вернулись к Джорди
- 00:08:12,990 --> 00:08:17,160 Что значит "вернулись к Джорди"? Мы и не останавливались на "Джорди"!
- 00:08:17,410 --> 00:08:23,590 Мы пролетели мимо во время всей этой вакханалии Джесса-Коди-Диллона
- 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:24,920 Ногу судорога схватила!
- 00:08:25,170 --> 00:08:27,420 - Я помогу! - Я помогу! Это сделаю я!
- 00:08:27,670 --> 00:08:30,010 Эй! Ты с ней спишь! А судороги будут мои!
- 00:08:30,260 --> 00:08:31,180 Нет, не твои!
- 00:08:31,430 --> 00:08:33,600 Всё, хватит! Вы оба - выметайтесь!
- 00:08:33,850 --> 00:08:35,180 - Что? Это она начала! - Это он! - Она!
- 00:08:35,430 --> 00:08:38,850 Мне плевать! Я тут целого человека из себя выпихиваю...
- 00:08:39,100 --> 00:08:43,900 ...а вы никак не облегчаете процесс! Пошли вон!
- 00:08:45,190 --> 00:08:47,030 - Спасибо огромное. - Вот что ты наделал!
- 00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:50,360 - Слушай... - Вон!
- 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:55,240 Дышите! Дышите! Дышите!
- 00:09:00,210 --> 00:09:01,210 Что это такое?
- 00:09:01,460 --> 00:09:03,790 Там что-то взорвалось!
- 00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:06,050 Просто у нее воды отошли. Успокойтесь!
- 00:09:06,300 --> 00:09:09,550 Воды отошли? Это что такое? Вы о чем? Какие воды?
- 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:13,220 Дышите. Дышите. Дышите
- 00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:16,640 Да брось ты! Это всё целиком твоя вина!
- 00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:17,970 Почему? Почему это моя вина?
- 00:09:18,220 --> 00:09:21,560 Кэрол никогда меня не выгоняла, пока тебя не было
- 00:09:21,810 --> 00:09:25,810 Да? Кэрол много чего еще не делала, пока меня не было
- 00:09:26,070 --> 00:09:29,570 - Ты чего, умничаешь, да? - А ты перестань от меня шарахаться!
- 00:09:29,820 --> 00:09:32,910 Эй! Ладно! Всё!
- 00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:34,620 С меня хватит! Ступайте туда! Пошли
- 00:09:34,870 --> 00:09:38,330 Господи, ребята! От вас можно с ума сойти!
- 00:09:38,580 --> 00:09:41,620 В этом самом здании на свет появляются дети...
- 00:09:41,870 --> 00:09:45,330 ...и первым звуком в их жизни не должен быть шум вашей ссоры!
- 00:09:45,580 --> 00:09:49,590 - Поэтому прекратите орать! Хватит! - Да уж, Сюзан!
- 00:09:50,970 --> 00:09:56,100 Не заставляй меня всё это повторять! Мне не нравится такой мой голос!
- 00:09:59,850 --> 00:10:03,730 Так, кто хочет узнать об иронии судьбы?
- 00:10:08,490 --> 00:10:10,530 - На помощь! - Сюда!
- 00:10:10,530 --> 00:10:10,580 - У меня там ребенок рождается! - Эй! На помощь! - На помощь! - Сюда!
- 00:10:10,580 --> 00:10:13,100 - У меня там ребенок рождается! - Эй! На помощь!
- 00:10:13,100 --> 00:10:13,950 Так, а ну отойдите все назад - У меня там ребенок рождается! - Эй! На помощь!
- 00:10:13,950 --> 00:10:16,100 Так, а ну отойдите все назад
- 00:10:23,210 --> 00:10:25,210 Где-же-о-ни?
- 00:10:25,460 --> 00:10:27,750 Нет, милая, их нет, но не волнуйся, мы их найдем
- 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:32,880 А до тех пор мы все будем с тобой. Ладно? - Ладно! - Ладно? - Ладно!
- 00:10:32,970 --> 00:10:36,390 Так вы рассказывали про Париж. Мне так интересно!
- 00:10:36,640 --> 00:10:41,220 Значит, там была маленькая паштетная прямо возле гостиницы...
- 00:10:41,470 --> 00:10:44,560 Спокойно, дорогая моя
- 00:10:44,640 --> 00:10:46,940 Давай, Лидия, ты сможешь! Тужься!
- 00:10:47,190 --> 00:10:49,980 Тужься-тужься, тужься-тужься. По-шел, по-шел!
- 00:10:50,230 --> 00:10:52,490 Тужься-тужься, тужься-тужься. У-шел!
- 00:10:52,740 --> 00:10:55,490 Хва-таем мяч, бе-жим вперед! Хей-хей! Хоу-хоу!
- 00:10:55,740 --> 00:10:58,320 А сейчас...
- 00:10:58,990 --> 00:11:01,080 Я просто... Да ладно
- 00:11:01,330 --> 00:11:05,160 Тужься, тужься, тужься!
- 00:11:05,750 --> 00:11:09,630 Что ты собрался делать - высосать дверь?
- 00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:14,220 На помощь! На помощь!
- 00:11:14,470 --> 00:11:18,510 "Трупы нашли через несколько дней"
- 00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:24,230 "Трупы нашли через несколько..."
- 00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:29,690 Мама, всё идет нормально, правда
- 00:11:29,940 --> 00:11:32,110 Да, у Росса всё в порядке
- 00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:34,610 Он совершенно не здесь!
- 00:11:34,860 --> 00:11:36,780 Нет, его нет
- 00:11:37,030 --> 00:11:40,200 Нет, тебе не нужно поворачивать назад. Правда!
- 00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:42,870 Что значит: "Это может быть твой единственный шанс"?
- 00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:45,040 Ты прекратишь? Мне всего 26
- 00:11:45,290 --> 00:11:49,630 Я... я вообще еще не думала о детях
- 00:12:01,050 --> 00:12:05,390 - Ты где был? - А, у меня только что родился ребенок.
- 00:12:05,640 --> 00:12:08,600 Мазлтов!
- 00:12:11,650 --> 00:12:13,570 Не знаю. Может, час, а может, три
- 00:12:13,820 --> 00:12:16,070 Но успокойтесь. Все идет нормально
- 00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:21,490 Так скажите мне... вы сейчас... ни с кем не встречаетесь?
- 00:12:21,740 --> 00:12:23,990 Нет! Прямо сейчас - ни с кем
- 00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:25,160 А... а вы?
- 00:12:25,410 --> 00:12:28,830 Нет. Мне обычно нелегко вытащить женщину на свидание
- 00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:32,920 Да, я слышала, это бывает с симпатичными врачами
- 00:12:33,170 --> 00:12:38,760 Нет, правда. Это, наверное, потому, что я провожу слишком много времени...
- 00:12:39,010 --> 00:12:41,800 ...сами понимаете где
- 00:12:43,850 --> 00:12:46,350 Я пытаюсь не смешивать работу и личную жизнь
- 00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:48,850 Но это трудно, когда занимаешься...
- 00:12:49,100 --> 00:12:51,600 ...тем, чем я. Это наподобие...
- 00:12:51,850 --> 00:12:54,190 Вот, например, вы кем работаете?
- 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:56,860 - Я - официантка. - Ну вот.
- 00:12:57,110 --> 00:13:00,530 Бывает так, что вы приходите с работы в конце дня...
- 00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:01,860 ...и думаете типа того:
- 00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:06,370 "Если я сейчас увижу еще одну чашку кофе"...
- 00:13:10,870 --> 00:13:12,710 Я вас поняла
- 00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:18,670 - Пойду посмотрю вашу подругу. - Ладно... Валяйте.
- 00:13:25,890 --> 00:13:27,560 Как ты вообще узнал, что я здесь?
- 00:13:27,810 --> 00:13:29,480 Твоя мать мне позвонила
- 00:13:29,730 --> 00:13:31,560 Так это она?
- 00:13:31,810 --> 00:13:35,110 Нет, это я напрокат взяла
- 00:13:35,570 --> 00:13:38,650 Слушай, прости меня, что тебе пришлось всё делать самой
- 00:13:38,900 --> 00:13:45,450 Я была не сама. У меня был врач, сестра и... хороший помощник
- 00:13:45,580 --> 00:13:47,580 Ты видел, кто выиграл матч?
- 00:13:47,830 --> 00:13:52,250 Да. "Никс" с перевесом в 10 очков. Они - пижоны
- 00:13:52,250 --> 00:13:55,380 Вообще они неплохо играют
- 00:14:15,940 --> 00:14:19,190 Давай! Давай!
- 00:14:20,190 --> 00:14:21,440 Черт! Черт!
- 00:14:21,690 --> 00:14:23,950 Черт, черт! Это всё ты виновата!
- 00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:26,700 Это должен был быть величайший день в моей жизни!
- 00:14:26,950 --> 00:14:29,450 У меня рождается сын, я должен быть с ним!
- 00:14:29,700 --> 00:14:32,040 А вместо этого я застрял в кладовке с тобой!
- 00:14:32,290 --> 00:14:35,460 Моя любимая рожает! Я ждала этого так же долго, как и ты!
- 00:14:35,710 --> 00:14:38,880 Поверь мне, никто не ждал этого так, как я, понятно?
- 00:14:39,130 --> 00:14:40,380 И знаешь, что смешно?
- 00:14:40,630 --> 00:14:44,130 Когда всё кончится, вы поедете домой с ребенком. А что я?
- 00:14:44,380 --> 00:14:45,720 Ты будешь отцом ребенка! Это почётно!
- 00:14:45,970 --> 00:14:49,890 А кто такая я? Есть День отцов! Есть День матерей!
- 00:14:50,140 --> 00:14:52,480 А Дня лесбийских сожительниц нету!
- 00:14:52,730 --> 00:14:56,690 У вас каждый день - день лесбийских сожительниц!
- 00:14:57,980 --> 00:15:01,280 Как это всё классно!
- 00:15:03,900 --> 00:15:05,990 Не хочешь объясниться?
- 00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:09,410 Просто когда я была ребенком, мой отец ушел...
- 00:15:09,660 --> 00:15:13,410 ...а мать умерла, а отчим сел в тюрьму, так что...
- 00:15:13,660 --> 00:15:17,500 ...из кусочков моих родителей не получилось бы и одного целого
- 00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:21,000 А тут у новорожденного есть целых три родителя...
- 00:15:21,250 --> 00:15:25,090 ...которые прямо подраться готовы за то, кто его больше любит...
- 00:15:25,340 --> 00:15:27,760 ...хотя он еще даже не родился!
- 00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:32,020 Это просто самый счастливый ребенок во всем мире
- 00:15:33,270 --> 00:15:36,730 Прошу прощения. Вы там ссорились
- 00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:38,940 Где они?
- 00:15:39,190 --> 00:15:42,030 - Уверена, они скоро придут. - Милая, они этого не пропустят.
- 00:15:42,280 --> 00:15:48,610 Успокойся! У тебя всего девять сантиметров, и ребенок пока на исходной позиции
- 00:15:50,620 --> 00:15:54,040 Ты меня серьезно пугаешь
- 00:15:54,700 --> 00:15:58,290 Кто-нибудь, помогите. Мне вырывают сердце!
- 00:15:59,380 --> 00:16:03,420 Ну вот, прекрасно! Никто не видел здесь сосок?
- 00:16:04,300 --> 00:16:06,300 Десять сантиметров. Ну, поехали
- 00:16:06,550 --> 00:16:08,380 Всё, лапочка. Пора тужиться!
- 00:16:08,630 --> 00:16:09,720 Но они еще не пришли!
- 00:16:09,970 --> 00:16:12,310 Извини, не могу попросить ребенка подождать их
- 00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:15,930 О боже!
- 00:16:18,810 --> 00:16:20,650 Так, люк открыли
- 00:16:20,900 --> 00:16:23,230 Привет, я - Бен
- 00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:26,320 Я - работник больницы Бен
- 00:16:26,570 --> 00:16:29,820 Бен спешит на выручку!
- 00:16:31,070 --> 00:16:32,410 - Бен, ты готов? - Ага.
- 00:16:32,660 --> 00:16:33,990 Отлично, давай ногу
- 00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:38,410 На счет "три", Бен. Раз, два, три.
- 00:16:38,670 --> 00:16:42,500 Пошел, Бен. Хорошо. Так, Бен
- 00:16:42,750 --> 00:16:45,000 Что ты там видишь?
- 00:16:45,250 --> 00:16:48,340 Сюзан, я вижу нечто похожее на темную трубу
- 00:16:48,590 --> 00:16:49,680 Стоп!
- 00:16:49,930 --> 00:16:54,510 Да, это на самом деле и есть темная труба!
- 00:16:56,520 --> 00:17:00,350 Фибс, нас открыли! Открыли!
- 00:17:01,690 --> 00:17:02,520 Подождите!
- 00:17:02,770 --> 00:17:05,610 Вы забыли свои ноги!
- 00:17:05,860 --> 00:17:07,030 Тужься! Тужься!
- 00:17:07,280 --> 00:17:10,110 Мы пришли! Мы здесь!
- 00:17:10,360 --> 00:17:12,780 Где вас носило?
- 00:17:13,030 --> 00:17:14,030 Это долгая история, милая
- 00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:16,200 Так, Кэрол, продолжаем тужиться. А сейчас...
- 00:17:16,450 --> 00:17:19,830 Извините, можно мне это?
- 00:17:21,710 --> 00:17:24,710 Так-так, здесь слишком много людей! Тем более сейчас будет одним больше!
- 00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:28,460 Так что все, кто не бывший муж и не лесбийская сожительница...
- 00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:31,470 ...выйдите вон!
- 00:17:31,470 --> 00:17:33,550 - Всё, пока! - Удачи вам, друзья!
- 00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:37,640 Можно вопрос - а обязательно быть лесбийской сожительницей Кэрол?
- 00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:40,690 Вон!
- 00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:42,730 Так-так, он идет!
- 00:17:42,980 --> 00:17:47,280 Дайте посмотреть! Я должен видеть, должен видеть!
- 00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:51,740 Ого, голова!
- 00:17:51,990 --> 00:17:55,490 Какая огромная! Кэрол, как ты это делаешь?
- 00:17:55,740 --> 00:17:57,740 Ты не облегчаешь мне задачу!
- 00:17:57,990 --> 00:17:59,750 Все отлично! Все идет хорошо!
- 00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:01,910 - Аллё? - Ой, извините!
- 00:18:02,170 --> 00:18:04,170 Что ты видишь? Что ты видишь?
- 00:18:04,420 --> 00:18:06,670 Вышла головка. Вышли плечики, ручки. Вышли...
- 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:09,880 Ой, какие маленькие пальчики!
- 00:18:10,260 --> 00:18:12,010 Грудь, животик...
- 00:18:12,260 --> 00:18:15,760 ...и это мальчик, точно мальчик!
- 00:18:16,010 --> 00:18:19,680 Попка, коленки, ножки
- 00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:27,110 Он уже здесь!
- 00:18:27,110 --> 00:18:29,360 Это целый человек!
- 00:18:29,610 --> 00:18:32,200 - Ой, вы посмотрите! - А на кого он похож?
- 00:18:32,450 --> 00:18:36,450 На моего дядю Эда, вымазанного вареньем
- 00:18:36,700 --> 00:18:38,330 Правда?
- 00:18:38,580 --> 00:18:40,870 Ой, ребята, он такой красивый!
- 00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:44,210 Спасибо, Фибс!
- 00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:54,220 Не будем ссориться, но мы еще не выбрали имя для этого маленького человечка
- 00:18:54,470 --> 00:18:56,890 Как насчет "Бен"?
- 00:18:57,140 --> 00:18:58,890 "Бен" мне нравится
- 00:18:59,140 --> 00:19:01,930 Бен... Бен
- 00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:05,810 "Бен" будет хорошо
- 00:19:06,060 --> 00:19:07,980 Почему ты раньше не предлагал "Бен"?
- 00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:11,650 Да мы... только что придумали
- 00:19:11,900 --> 00:19:15,490 Этим-то мы там и занимались
- 00:19:17,070 --> 00:19:21,120 - Можно войти? - Да, давайте. Входите.
- 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,580 Да, да, это он
- 00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:32,760 Народ, я хочу вас кое с кем познакомить
- 00:19:33,010 --> 00:19:34,340 Это Бен
- 00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:35,590 Привет, Бен
- 00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:38,510 Бен, это все
- 00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:42,810 Сюзан, он - вылитая ты
- 00:19:44,020 --> 00:19:45,600 Спасибо
- 00:19:45,850 --> 00:19:49,190 О боже! Не верится, что у одного из нас уже есть такой
- 00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:53,440 Ага. Например, я еще сам такой
- 00:19:55,950 --> 00:19:58,660 Можно?
- 00:19:59,030 --> 00:20:03,620 Так, головку. Нужно...
- 00:20:10,460 --> 00:20:13,210 Я твоя тетя Моника! Это я!
- 00:20:13,460 --> 00:20:17,010 Я твоя тетя Моника!
- 00:20:21,140 --> 00:20:24,470 И у меня всегда будет жвачка
- 00:20:28,060 --> 00:20:29,410 Бен...
- 00:20:29,410 --> 00:20:29,560 ...Хочу, чтобы ты знал, что время от времени... Бен...
- 00:20:29,560 --> 00:20:33,250 ...Хочу, чтобы ты знал, что время от времени...
- 00:20:33,500 --> 00:20:35,250 ...меня не будет рядом...
- 00:20:35,500 --> 00:20:38,710 ...вот так
- 00:20:40,010 --> 00:20:43,510 Но потом я все равно вернусь...
- 00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:46,430 ...вот так
- 00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:50,430 А еще иногда меня не будет довольно долго...
- 00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:53,520 ...вот так
- 00:20:55,770 --> 00:20:59,990 Но потом я все равно вернусь...
- 00:21:01,030 --> 00:21:03,740 ...вот так
- 00:21:03,950 --> 00:21:09,700 И не забывай врываться на третью базу, а я сделаю тебе так
- 00:21:17,630 --> 00:21:19,550 Он такой замечательный!
- 00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:24,010 Это точно. Какой малыш!
- 00:21:28,260 --> 00:21:29,060 Никакой реакции
- 00:21:29,310 --> 00:21:32,730 По-моему, это не его имя
- 00:21:32,730 --> 00:21:35,850 Смотрите, он закрывает глаза
- 00:21:36,100 --> 00:21:40,230 Смотрите, он открывает глаза
- 00:21:41,070 --> 00:21:43,490 Пока что он умеет немного, а?
- 00:21:43,740 --> 00:21:47,530 Не-а. Это практически и всё
- 00:21:53,830 --> 00:21:57,130 Может, ребята, пойдем кофе выпьем?
- 00:21:57,500 --> 00:22:01,090 Пока, ребята, увидимся позже
- 00:22:32,450 --> 00:22:36,290 Смотрите, он опять закрывает глаза
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