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Эпизод с ик-фактором
The One with the Ick Factor
Сезон: 01Серия: 22
Описание
После того, как молодой человек Итан (Стэн Кирш) лишился девственности с Моникой, он признается, что он не студент колледжа, как она думала, а старшеклассник. Фиби временно работает секретарем у Чендлера, и он обнаруживает, что на работе его больше никто не любит, теперь, когда он стал боссом. Рейчел снятся эротические сны о Джои и Чендлере, что вызывает ревность у Росса. Вскоре Рейчел видит сон о Россе, но прежде чем Росс успевает сказать Рейчел, что любит ее, его пейджер оповещает его о начале родов у Кэрол.
Субтитры
- 00:00:02,127 --> 00:00:03,919 MONICA: Tell him. Please tell him. - Tell him.
- 00:00:04,087 --> 00:00:06,380 - Shut up. - Tell me what?
- 00:00:06,548 --> 00:00:08,882 MONICA: You won't even look at him. - Oh, come on, tell me.
- 00:00:09,050 --> 00:00:12,094 I could use another reason why women won't look at me.
- 00:00:12,262 --> 00:00:13,762 All right, all right, all right.
- 00:00:13,930 --> 00:00:15,806 Last night, I had a dream...
- 00:00:15,974 --> 00:00:19,476 ...that, um, you and I were, uh...
- 00:00:19,644 --> 00:00:21,520 Doing it on this table.
- 00:00:22,647 --> 00:00:26,608 - Wow. - Excellent dream score.
- 00:00:28,987 --> 00:00:32,114 Why...? Why would you dream that?
- 00:00:33,616 --> 00:00:36,535 More importantly, was I any good?
- 00:00:37,954 --> 00:00:40,664 Well, you were pretty damned good. Ha, ha.
- 00:00:40,832 --> 00:00:44,293 Interesting, because in my dreams, I'm surprisingly inadequate.
- 00:00:46,379 --> 00:00:50,049 Well, last night, you seemed to know your way around the table.
- 00:00:51,384 --> 00:00:53,343 [ROSS CHUCKLES]
- 00:00:53,511 --> 00:00:55,846 I love it when we share.
- 00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:00,934 CHANDLER: You okay there?
- 00:01:01,102 --> 00:01:03,312 I can't believe you two had sex in her dream.
- 00:01:04,981 --> 00:01:06,857 I'm sorry. It was a one-time thing.
- 00:01:07,025 --> 00:01:10,527 I was very drunk, and it was someone else's subconscious.
- 00:02:00,703 --> 00:02:02,412 - Hello, Rachel. - Ugh.
- 00:02:02,580 --> 00:02:04,540 Get off.
- 00:02:05,917 --> 00:02:09,920 Ooh. Oh, give me. Can you see me operating a drill press?
- 00:02:11,422 --> 00:02:13,590 I don't know. What are you wearing?
- 00:02:17,011 --> 00:02:19,888 Pheebs, why would you want to operate a drill press?
- 00:02:20,056 --> 00:02:21,431 Just for some short-term work.
- 00:02:21,599 --> 00:02:24,017 You know, till I get back some of my massage clients.
- 00:02:24,185 --> 00:02:26,103 Pirates again?
- 00:02:26,271 --> 00:02:28,814 No. Nothing like that.
- 00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:31,275 I'm just such a dummy.
- 00:02:31,442 --> 00:02:34,153 I taught this "Massage Yourself at Home" workshop.
- 00:02:34,320 --> 00:02:36,280 And they are.
- 00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:40,159 Hey, hey, Chan, she could work for you.
- 00:02:40,326 --> 00:02:42,995 Thanks, Joey. That's a good idea.
- 00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:46,206 What? I could. I could do it. What is it?
- 00:02:46,374 --> 00:02:48,041 Well, my secretary's gonna be out.
- 00:02:48,209 --> 00:02:50,335 She's having one of her boobs reduced.
- 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:54,506 It's a whole big boob story.
- 00:02:54,674 --> 00:02:55,924 I could be a secretary.
- 00:02:56,467 --> 00:02:58,635 Well, I don't know if it's your kind of thing...
- 00:02:58,803 --> 00:03:01,555 ...because, uh, it involves a lot of being normal...
- 00:03:01,723 --> 00:03:04,391 ...ahem, for a large portion of the day.
- 00:03:04,559 --> 00:03:06,685 I could do that.
- 00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:07,936 [BEEPER BEEPING]
- 00:03:08,104 --> 00:03:10,230 - What are you playing with? - It's my new beeper.
- 00:03:10,398 --> 00:03:12,900 Why the hell does a paleontologist need a beeper for?
- 00:03:13,067 --> 00:03:17,029 Is it, like, for dinosaur emergencies? "Help, come quick! They're still extinct!"
- 00:03:17,238 --> 00:03:18,405 [CHANDLER LAUGHS]
- 00:03:18,573 --> 00:03:22,075 No, it's for when Carol goes into labor. She can get me wherever I am.
- 00:03:22,243 --> 00:03:25,954 All she has to do is dial 55-JIMBO.
- 00:03:26,789 --> 00:03:29,374 A cool phone number and a possible name for the kid.
- 00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:33,128 - I'll see you guys later. - Off to see young Ethan?
- 00:03:33,588 --> 00:03:35,214 Thank you.
- 00:03:35,965 --> 00:03:39,218 How young is young Ethan? Young?
- 00:03:39,385 --> 00:03:41,762 He's our age.
- 00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:44,014 When we were?
- 00:03:47,268 --> 00:03:49,686 - Okay, he's a senior in college. - College?
- 00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:51,396 JOEY: Ooh. - Whoa.
- 00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:54,816 And this man-child has no problem with how old you are?
- 00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:56,318 No, of course not.
- 00:03:56,486 --> 00:03:58,320 It's not even an issue...
- 00:03:58,488 --> 00:04:00,405 ...because I told him I was 22.
- 00:04:00,573 --> 00:04:01,865 - What? - What?
- 00:04:02,033 --> 00:04:05,744 - Oh, I can't pass for 22? - Well, maybe 25, 26.
- 00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:08,538 - I am 26. - There you go.
- 00:04:14,212 --> 00:04:16,213 [PHONE RINGING]
- 00:04:21,344 --> 00:04:23,095 Can you hear that?
- 00:04:23,846 --> 00:04:25,347 Yeah. Ha, ha.
- 00:04:27,058 --> 00:04:29,101 That'll stop when you pick up the phone.
- 00:04:29,310 --> 00:04:31,061 Oh. Ha, ha.
- 00:04:31,229 --> 00:04:35,065 - Okay. Ooh, I'm on. - Okay.
- 00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:38,443 [IN MELLOW VOICE] Mr. Bing's office.
- 00:04:40,238 --> 00:04:42,447 No, I'm sorry, he's in a meeting right now.
- 00:04:42,615 --> 00:04:44,324 I'm not in a meeting. I'm right...
- 00:04:44,492 --> 00:04:47,160 Will he know what this is in reference to?
- 00:04:47,328 --> 00:04:48,996 And he has your number?
- 00:04:49,205 --> 00:04:51,957 All right, I'll see that he gets the message. Bye-bye.
- 00:04:54,836 --> 00:04:56,420 - What? - [IN NORMAL VOICE] Ross says hi.
- 00:04:56,587 --> 00:04:57,879 Ah.
- 00:04:58,047 --> 00:05:00,674 This is so fun. All right, what do we do now?
- 00:05:00,883 --> 00:05:03,885 Well, now I actually have to get to work.
- 00:05:04,053 --> 00:05:05,721 "Most likely."
- 00:05:05,930 --> 00:05:07,681 [BOTH CHUCKLE]
- 00:05:09,684 --> 00:05:11,977 - Okay, I'm gonna be out there. - Okay.
- 00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:15,981 - All right. Bye-bye. - Bye-bye.
- 00:05:18,401 --> 00:05:19,735 [INTERCOM BUZZES]
- 00:05:21,529 --> 00:05:22,571 Yes?
- 00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:24,448 PHOEBE [OVER INTERCOM]: What you doing?
- 00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:30,996 Okay, windows are clean, candles are lit.
- 00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:33,332 Ooh, belt's too tight. Gotta change the belt.
- 00:05:33,499 --> 00:05:36,626 Did I turn the fish? Nope, because I made lasagna.
- 00:05:38,087 --> 00:05:41,965 - Am I out of control? - Just a touch.
- 00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:43,258 Mon, I don't understand.
- 00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:47,346 I mean, you've been dating this guy since, like, his midterms.
- 00:05:47,513 --> 00:05:51,391 I mean, why all of a sudden are you so?
- 00:05:52,935 --> 00:05:55,145 Oh.
- 00:05:55,313 --> 00:05:56,980 What?
- 00:05:57,148 --> 00:05:59,941 Could tonight be the night?
- 00:06:01,527 --> 00:06:02,694 I don't know.
- 00:06:02,862 --> 00:06:08,200 Look, he's a great guy, and I love being with him, but, you know...
- 00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:09,951 ...things happen when they happen.
- 00:06:10,119 --> 00:06:11,620 You don't plan these things.
- 00:06:13,748 --> 00:06:16,291 - Oh. So did you shave your legs? - Yeah.
- 00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:17,709 Uh-huh.
- 00:06:20,463 --> 00:06:23,507 Would you let it go, Ross? It was just a dream.
- 00:06:23,716 --> 00:06:24,800 It doesn't mean...
- 00:06:24,967 --> 00:06:26,009 [BEEPER BEEPING]
- 00:06:26,177 --> 00:06:29,721 Oh, oh, oh. Oh, this is it. Oh, my God. It's baby time. Baby time.
- 00:06:29,889 --> 00:06:33,266 All right, relax, relax, just relax, just relax. Be cool.
- 00:06:34,519 --> 00:06:36,812 Yeah, hi, I was just beeped.
- 00:06:38,147 --> 00:06:42,901 No, Andre is not here. Third time today.
- 00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:45,153 Yes, I am sure.
- 00:06:45,321 --> 00:06:49,324 Heh. No, sir, I do not perform those kind of services.
- 00:06:49,492 --> 00:06:53,078 Services? Oh, services.
- 00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:56,373 Yeah, you want 55-JUMBO.
- 00:06:58,543 --> 00:07:00,043 Yeah.
- 00:07:00,211 --> 00:07:01,753 That's right.
- 00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:05,006 That's right. "JUMBO" with a U, sir.
- 00:07:05,174 --> 00:07:06,758 Heh. No, you don't want me.
- 00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:10,387 Judging by his number, I'd be a huge disappointment.
- 00:07:10,555 --> 00:07:13,682 Yeah. Alrighty, bye-bye.
- 00:07:13,891 --> 00:07:15,350 [SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
- 00:07:16,686 --> 00:07:19,146 JOEY: Hey, hey. How was the first day? - Hey. Oh.
- 00:07:19,313 --> 00:07:22,858 Excellent. Everyone was so, so nice.
- 00:07:23,025 --> 00:07:25,527 See? It pays to know the man who wears my shoes.
- 00:07:26,737 --> 00:07:28,488 - Me. - Ah.
- 00:07:29,782 --> 00:07:32,284 - I didn't tell anybody that I knew you. - Why not?
- 00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:34,536 Well, because, you know.
- 00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:36,997 They don't like you.
- 00:07:40,793 --> 00:07:42,586 - What? - I thought you knew that.
- 00:07:42,795 --> 00:07:44,087 Nah-uh.
- 00:07:45,506 --> 00:07:48,675 - Who doesn't like me? - Everyone.
- 00:07:48,843 --> 00:07:50,552 Except for, um...
- 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:52,721 No. Everyone.
- 00:07:55,099 --> 00:07:58,101 - What are you talking about? - Don't feel bad.
- 00:07:58,269 --> 00:08:00,729 You know, they used to like you a lot.
- 00:08:00,897 --> 00:08:04,483 But then you got promoted, and now you're all, like, Mr. Boss-Man.
- 00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:07,277 You know, Mr. Bing. Mr. Bing. Boss-Man Bing.
- 00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:09,446 [BOTH CHUCKLE]
- 00:08:10,114 --> 00:08:13,575 - I can't believe it. - Yeah, yeah. They even do you.
- 00:08:15,203 --> 00:08:17,120 - They do me? - Yeah.
- 00:08:17,288 --> 00:08:19,581 You know, like, um, okay:
- 00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:21,374 "Could that report be any later?"
- 00:08:21,542 --> 00:08:23,543 [JOEY & ROSS LAUGHING]
- 00:08:27,798 --> 00:08:28,924 I don't sound like that.
- 00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:32,260 - Oh, oh. Chandler. - Oh. Yeah, you do.
- 00:08:32,428 --> 00:08:35,555 "The hills are alive with the sound...
- 00:08:35,723 --> 00:08:37,599 ...of music."
- 00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:44,064 "My scone!"
- 00:08:44,232 --> 00:08:45,857 ROSS, JOEY & PHOEBE: "My scone!"
- 00:08:46,025 --> 00:08:47,442 [ALL LAUGHING]
- 00:08:48,236 --> 00:08:50,612 Okay, I don't sound like that. That is so not true.
- 00:08:50,821 --> 00:08:52,280 [BOTH LAUGHING]
- 00:08:53,741 --> 00:08:56,493 That is so not... That is so not... That...
- 00:08:56,661 --> 00:08:58,119 Oh, shut up.
- 00:09:00,831 --> 00:09:02,457 Ha, ha. You did not.
- 00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:04,584 I am telling you, up until I was 9...
- 00:09:04,752 --> 00:09:07,587 ...I thought gunpoint was an actual place where crimes happened.
- 00:09:07,755 --> 00:09:11,424 - Ha, ha. How is that possible? - Think about it. It's always on the news.
- 00:09:11,592 --> 00:09:14,261 "A man is being held up at Gunpoint."
- 00:09:14,428 --> 00:09:16,805 "Tourists are being terrorized at Gunpoint."
- 00:09:17,014 --> 00:09:20,475 And I just kept thinking, "Why do people continue to go there?"
- 00:09:24,105 --> 00:09:25,897 Oh, ah.
- 00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:29,776 - I should go. - Okay.
- 00:09:35,157 --> 00:09:36,908 Okay.
- 00:09:37,076 --> 00:09:38,285 - Unless... - What?
- 00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:42,539 Uh, unless you wanna stay over.
- 00:09:42,707 --> 00:09:44,499 I mean, I'm going to. So...
- 00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:46,167 [BOTH CHUCKLE]
- 00:09:47,169 --> 00:09:49,337 Yeah, I'd really like that.
- 00:09:55,469 --> 00:10:01,016 Uh, before we get into any staying-over stuff...
- 00:10:01,183 --> 00:10:03,476 ...there's something you should know.
- 00:10:03,644 --> 00:10:06,146 Okay. Is this like "I have an early class tomorrow"...
- 00:10:06,314 --> 00:10:09,899 ...or "I'm secretly married to a goat"?
- 00:10:10,109 --> 00:10:13,862 Well, it's somewhere in between.
- 00:10:14,071 --> 00:10:18,325 You see, in a strictly technical sense, of course, I'm not, uh...
- 00:10:18,492 --> 00:10:21,453 Well, I mean, I haven't ever, um...
- 00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:23,413 - Ethan? - Yeah?
- 00:10:23,581 --> 00:10:24,873 Are you a virgin?
- 00:10:25,082 --> 00:10:28,835 Well, if that's what you kids are calling it these days...
- 00:10:29,003 --> 00:10:30,629 ...then yes, I am.
- 00:10:33,549 --> 00:10:37,052 I, uh... I've kind of been waiting for the right person.
- 00:10:38,888 --> 00:10:41,222 - Really? - Yeah.
- 00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:44,934 You do know I was talking about you, right?
- 00:10:53,861 --> 00:10:55,278 Wow.
- 00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:57,906 You keep saying that.
- 00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:01,951 You know, you read about it. You see it in the movies.
- 00:11:02,119 --> 00:11:05,955 Even when you practice it at home, man, oh, man...
- 00:11:06,123 --> 00:11:08,917 ...it is nothing like that.
- 00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:10,126 Oh.
- 00:11:10,294 --> 00:11:11,836 [ETHAN MOANING]
- 00:11:12,046 --> 00:11:14,047 Listen, listen.
- 00:11:14,715 --> 00:11:19,552 Um, you told me something that was really difficult for you.
- 00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:23,932 And, um, well, I figure if you can be honest, then I can too.
- 00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:27,769 - Oh, God, don't tell me I did it wrong. - No.
- 00:11:27,937 --> 00:11:29,479 - No, no, no. - Oh.
- 00:11:29,647 --> 00:11:32,732 - Nothing wrong about that. - Oh. Ha, ha.
- 00:11:33,401 --> 00:11:37,070 Um, okay. Here goes.
- 00:11:38,155 --> 00:11:40,407 I'm not 22.
- 00:11:40,574 --> 00:11:43,243 I'm 25.
- 00:11:44,245 --> 00:11:45,662 And 13 months.
- 00:11:47,581 --> 00:11:48,790 Huh.
- 00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:51,126 But I figure, you know, that shouldn't change anything.
- 00:11:51,293 --> 00:11:54,796 I mean, what the hell does it matter how old we are?
- 00:11:57,466 --> 00:11:59,134 Listen, um...
- 00:11:59,301 --> 00:12:01,469 ...as long as we're telling stuff, uh...
- 00:12:03,472 --> 00:12:05,974 ...I have another one for you.
- 00:12:06,892 --> 00:12:08,852 I'm a little younger than I said.
- 00:12:10,896 --> 00:12:12,605 You're not a senior?
- 00:12:12,773 --> 00:12:15,024 Oh, I'm a senior.
- 00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:19,696 In high school.
- 00:12:25,953 --> 00:12:28,830 Okay.
- 00:12:32,084 --> 00:12:34,043 What we did was wrong.
- 00:12:34,211 --> 00:12:38,965 Oh, God. I just had sex with someone who wasn't alive during the bicentennial.
- 00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:43,094 I just had sex.
- 00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:48,516 Ethan, focus. How could you not tell me?
- 00:12:48,684 --> 00:12:51,352 - You never told me how old you were. - That's different.
- 00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:54,856 My lie didn't make one of us a felon in 48 states.
- 00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:59,527 - What were you thinking? - I wasn't thinking. I was busy falling...
- 00:12:59,695 --> 00:13:01,780 - Don't say it. ...in love with you.
- 00:13:03,365 --> 00:13:04,783 Really?
- 00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:06,951 Sorry.
- 00:13:07,745 --> 00:13:09,162 Well, fall out of it.
- 00:13:09,330 --> 00:13:12,749 You know, you shouldn't even be here. It's a school night.
- 00:13:14,752 --> 00:13:16,669 Oh, God. Oh, God.
- 00:13:16,837 --> 00:13:22,091 I'm like those women that you see with shiny guys named Chad.
- 00:13:24,845 --> 00:13:27,055 I'm Joan Collins.
- 00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:31,518 Who?
- 00:13:39,735 --> 00:13:43,321 Okay, Andre should be there in about 45 minutes.
- 00:13:44,365 --> 00:13:46,699 Alrighty. Bye-bye.
- 00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:50,620 Ahem. It's just easier that way.
- 00:13:52,206 --> 00:13:54,791 Oh, come on. You told me about the last dream.
- 00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:56,751 No. Forget it.
- 00:13:56,919 --> 00:14:00,755 Well, why not? Was I doing something particularly saucy?
- 00:14:02,967 --> 00:14:06,135 All right, fine. Um...
- 00:14:06,303 --> 00:14:08,263 Well, you were not the only one there.
- 00:14:09,932 --> 00:14:11,891 Joey was there too.
- 00:14:13,561 --> 00:14:14,936 All right.
- 00:14:16,313 --> 00:14:18,565 Was there, uh, heh...
- 00:14:21,569 --> 00:14:23,903 ...anybody else there?
- 00:14:24,071 --> 00:14:26,155 - No. - You sure?
- 00:14:26,323 --> 00:14:30,618 Nobody, uh, handing out mints or anything?
- 00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:33,955 No, it was just the three of us.
- 00:14:34,665 --> 00:14:35,748 Oh.
- 00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:39,836 So tell me, was it like you and Chandler and then you and me...
- 00:14:40,004 --> 00:14:41,379 ...or you and me and Chandler?
- 00:14:42,423 --> 00:14:43,673 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:46,467 - You know what? - What?
- 00:14:46,635 --> 00:14:48,636 There were times...
- 00:14:48,804 --> 00:14:51,055 ...when it wasn't even me.
- 00:14:52,141 --> 00:14:54,142 [BOTH CHUCKLING]
- 00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:04,485 That is so sweet, you guys.
- 00:15:08,115 --> 00:15:09,699 ROSS: Hey, Mon. RACHEL: Mon.
- 00:15:09,867 --> 00:15:11,326 Mon, Ethan called again.
- 00:15:14,496 --> 00:15:16,122 Mon?
- 00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:18,041 ALL: Mon!
- 00:15:19,293 --> 00:15:21,336 - What? - Ethan called again.
- 00:15:21,545 --> 00:15:22,670 Oh.
- 00:15:22,838 --> 00:15:25,924 - You're not seeing him anymore? - No.
- 00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:28,468 You know, sometimes just things don't work out.
- 00:15:28,636 --> 00:15:32,847 And this has nothing to do with the fact that he needs a note to get out of gym?
- 00:15:36,977 --> 00:15:40,104 I didn't say any... I did not say anything, I swear.
- 00:15:40,272 --> 00:15:41,606 He stopped by.
- 00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:43,191 JOEY: Next time you talk to him...
- 00:15:43,359 --> 00:15:47,362 ...could you ask him which one the strongest Power Ranger is?
- 00:15:47,571 --> 00:15:49,364 [MONICA LAUGHING]
- 00:15:49,531 --> 00:15:53,326 Oh, my life is just so amusing. Heh, heh. Can we drop it now?
- 00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:54,744 Sorry. Sorry.
- 00:15:55,371 --> 00:15:56,871 It's morphing time.
- 00:15:57,039 --> 00:15:58,581 - Stegosaurus! - Tyrannosaurus!
- 00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:00,792 [GUYS YELLING]
- 00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:05,338 Ooh. Oh, I gotta go.
- 00:16:05,506 --> 00:16:07,715 Whoa. Ooh, head rush. Oh.
- 00:16:09,551 --> 00:16:12,178 One more and then I have to go.
- 00:16:12,346 --> 00:16:13,554 Cool. Ha, ha.
- 00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:19,018 Where you going?
- 00:16:19,186 --> 00:16:21,729 Oh, I got a birthday party with some work people.
- 00:16:21,897 --> 00:16:23,606 Work people?
- 00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:26,442 - Nobody told me. - No, I know.
- 00:16:26,610 --> 00:16:30,697 That's part of the whole, you know, them-not-liking-you extravaganza.
- 00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:36,119 Know what? I don't get this. A month ago, these people were my friends.
- 00:16:36,286 --> 00:16:39,247 Just because I'm in charge, doesn't mean I'm a different person.
- 00:16:39,415 --> 00:16:42,250 Well, then you should come tonight, just hang out with them.
- 00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:44,419 Let them see what a great guy you still are.
- 00:16:44,586 --> 00:16:46,671 - You think I should? - I really do, yeah.
- 00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:48,715 - Okay. Okay. PHOEBE: Okay.
- 00:16:48,882 --> 00:16:50,466 Oh, but, um, could we not go together?
- 00:16:52,177 --> 00:16:55,596 I don't wanna be the geek who invited the boss, you know?
- 00:16:58,892 --> 00:17:00,393 CHANDLER: I think last night was great.
- 00:17:00,561 --> 00:17:03,104 You know, the karaoke thing? Tracy and I doing "Ebony and lvory"?
- 00:17:03,272 --> 00:17:04,355 - Mm-hm. - Ha, ha.
- 00:17:04,523 --> 00:17:07,316 You were great. But they still made fun of you.
- 00:17:07,985 --> 00:17:10,862 - What? - Now you're more like Mr. Caring-Boss.
- 00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:12,530 Mr. "I'm-One-of-You"-Boss.
- 00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:15,533 Mr. "I-Wanna-Be-Your-Buddy"- Boss-Man-Bing.
- 00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:18,703 Then I don't get it.
- 00:17:19,413 --> 00:17:23,207 Well, you know what, Chandler? I think you just gotta face it.
- 00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:25,835 You're, like, the guy in the big office, you know?
- 00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:28,963 You're the one that hires them and fires them.
- 00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:31,841 - They still say you're a great boss. - They do?
- 00:17:32,009 --> 00:17:33,092 Uh-huh.
- 00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:35,511 But they're not your friends anymore.
- 00:17:35,679 --> 00:17:37,555 - But I just want to... - No, but you can't.
- 00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:39,891 - But I just want... - Ah-ah.
- 00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:48,524 [BEEPER BEEPING]
- 00:17:50,736 --> 00:17:51,778 Aren't you gonna...?
- 00:17:51,945 --> 00:17:53,529 Oh, Carol and I have a new system.
- 00:17:53,697 --> 00:17:57,450 If she punches in "911," it means she's having a baby.
- 00:17:57,618 --> 00:18:00,870 - Otherwise, I just ignore it. - What about Andre?
- 00:18:01,038 --> 00:18:04,123 This morning he got a call from what I think was our cousin Nathan.
- 00:18:04,291 --> 00:18:07,043 And frankly, it was a little more than I needed to know.
- 00:18:13,509 --> 00:18:15,134 Hey.
- 00:18:15,761 --> 00:18:17,220 That was gonna be my opener.
- 00:18:18,472 --> 00:18:22,475 Hey, did you guys check out those new hand dryers in the bathroom?
- 00:18:22,643 --> 00:18:25,394 - I thought that was just a rumor. RACHEL: True story.
- 00:18:29,233 --> 00:18:31,359 All right, look, I gotta tell you something.
- 00:18:31,527 --> 00:18:32,610 I'm not 17.
- 00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:35,446 I only said that so you'd think I was cute and vulnerable.
- 00:18:35,614 --> 00:18:36,864 I'm actually 30.
- 00:18:37,032 --> 00:18:40,451 I have a wife. I have a job. I'm your congressman.
- 00:18:41,411 --> 00:18:44,038 Monica, this is ridiculous. We are great together.
- 00:18:44,206 --> 00:18:47,792 We can talk, we make each other laugh. And the sex. Oh, man.
- 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:51,295 Okay, I have no frame of reference, but I thought that was great.
- 00:18:52,422 --> 00:18:54,340 - It was. - Then what's the problem?
- 00:18:57,010 --> 00:18:59,011 Ethan, it's, um...
- 00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:02,056 It's icky.
- 00:19:03,225 --> 00:19:04,725 Icky?
- 00:19:04,893 --> 00:19:08,479 You're actually gonna throw this away because it's icky?
- 00:19:09,648 --> 00:19:11,816 Look, this isn't easy for me either.
- 00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:13,568 I wish things were different.
- 00:19:13,735 --> 00:19:16,571 If you were a few years older or I was a few years younger...
- 00:19:16,738 --> 00:19:19,323 ...or we lived in biblical times...
- 00:19:20,450 --> 00:19:22,869 ...I could really... - No, don't say it.
- 00:19:23,036 --> 00:19:24,245 - Love you.
- 00:19:29,042 --> 00:19:30,960 - Are your hands still wet? - They're moist.
- 00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:33,254 - Yeah, right? Ahem. - Let's dry them again.
- 00:19:38,969 --> 00:19:42,722 Or, like, "Could these margaritas be any stronger?"
- 00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:47,643 - Hey, Chandler. - Hello, Mr. Bing.
- 00:19:47,811 --> 00:19:50,271 Loved your Stevie Wonder last night.
- 00:19:51,899 --> 00:19:55,359 Thanks. Listen, about the weekly numbers, I'm gonna need them on my desk...
- 00:19:55,527 --> 00:19:57,153 ...by 9:00.
- 00:19:57,321 --> 00:19:59,989 SANTOS: Sure. - No problem.
- 00:20:02,492 --> 00:20:04,410 You have to give them something, you know?
- 00:20:04,578 --> 00:20:07,830 Okay, that was Gerston, Santos, and who's the guy with the mustache?
- 00:20:07,998 --> 00:20:09,999 - Petrie. - Petrie. Right, right, okay.
- 00:20:10,167 --> 00:20:12,877 Well, some people are gonna be working...
- 00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:14,086 ...this weekend.
- 00:20:20,677 --> 00:20:22,220 [MUSIC PLAYING ON TV]
- 00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:41,197 [MOANING]
- 00:20:44,576 --> 00:20:46,160 RACHEL: Oh, that's nice.
- 00:20:48,288 --> 00:20:50,289 [MOANING]
- 00:20:51,875 --> 00:20:53,876 Ross.
- 00:21:02,552 --> 00:21:05,304 - Ross? - I'm here.
- 00:21:07,224 --> 00:21:08,724 You are?
- 00:21:11,478 --> 00:21:12,895 Uh... Ahem.
- 00:21:13,063 --> 00:21:16,399 [STAMMERS] We were just...
- 00:21:16,566 --> 00:21:18,025 - Wow. - What?
- 00:21:18,193 --> 00:21:20,194 [BEEPER BEEPING]
- 00:21:21,029 --> 00:21:23,614 Heh. Great. Now I'm having a baby.
- 00:21:24,574 --> 00:21:26,325 - What? - Oh!
- 00:21:26,493 --> 00:21:28,411 - No. I'm having... I'm having a baby! - Oh. Oh!
- 00:21:28,578 --> 00:21:29,912 - Oh, my God. - I'm having a...!
- 00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:32,957 - The phone, the phone! - The phone. I don't have the phone. Aah!
- 00:21:35,877 --> 00:21:38,796 - Ross? - I'm hurt.
- 00:21:43,302 --> 00:21:46,178 Monica, let's go. Come on, now, people. Woman in labor.
- 00:21:46,346 --> 00:21:50,099 - Hey, Ross, look what I got going here. - Yeah, save it for the cab, okay?
- 00:21:50,726 --> 00:21:53,185 What are you doing? We're going to a hospital.
- 00:21:53,353 --> 00:21:56,564 What, so I can't look nice? There might be doctors there.
- 00:21:56,732 --> 00:22:00,109 - Joey, get out of the fridge. JOEY: All right, all right.
- 00:22:00,694 --> 00:22:02,695 - What is that? - For the ride.
- 00:22:02,863 --> 00:22:04,530 - Yeah, like in a cab you... - Save it.
- 00:22:04,698 --> 00:22:07,992 - Okay, hating this. - Monica, come on, now. Let's go.
- 00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:09,201 Baby coming. God.
- 00:22:09,369 --> 00:22:11,495 [CRYING] I can't believe it. I'm gonna be an aunt.
- 00:22:11,663 --> 00:22:13,581 - Oh, that's... - I'm gonna have a nephew.
- 00:22:13,749 --> 00:22:15,458 Oh, that's nice. Get out.
- 00:22:15,625 --> 00:22:17,710 - Come on. - Let's go, come on.
- 00:22:17,878 --> 00:22:18,919 RACHEL: Okay. Okay.
- 00:22:19,087 --> 00:22:21,339 JOEY: All right, all right, I'm going, I'm going.
- 00:22:28,472 --> 00:22:30,723 - Here we go. Here we go. - Rossy. Rossy.
- 00:22:30,932 --> 00:22:32,933 [ALL CHATTERING]
- 00:22:38,190 --> 00:22:40,191 [English - US - SDH]
- 00:00:02,120 --> 00:00:03,830 Скажи ему, скажи, скажи!
- 00:00:04,080 --> 00:00:04,880 Заткнитесь!
- 00:00:05,130 --> 00:00:06,300 "Скажи мне" что?
- 00:00:06,550 --> 00:00:07,920 Ага, ты даже не смотришь на него
- 00:00:08,170 --> 00:00:12,090 Говори. Буду знать еще одну причину, почему женщины на меня не смотрят
- 00:00:12,340 --> 00:00:13,550 Ладно, ладно, ладно
- 00:00:13,800 --> 00:00:16,760 Прошлой ночью мне снился сон...
- 00:00:17,010 --> 00:00:18,350 ...что ты и я...
- 00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:19,390 ...делали...
- 00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:23,060 ...кое-что на этом столе
- 00:00:23,730 --> 00:00:27,980 Ну ты во сне и кобель
- 00:00:30,150 --> 00:00:33,360 С чего бы это тебе такое снилось?
- 00:00:33,610 --> 00:00:34,990 Здесь важнее вопрос...
- 00:00:35,240 --> 00:00:37,700 ...хорошо ли у меня получалось?
- 00:00:37,950 --> 00:00:40,660 Ну, у тебя чертовски неплохо получалось
- 00:00:40,910 --> 00:00:45,830 Интересно. А то в моих снах я просто образец убожества
- 00:00:46,460 --> 00:00:51,130 Ну, этой ночью вместо убожества стол просто ломился от изобилия
- 00:00:53,510 --> 00:00:57,390 Как хорошо, когда друзья делятся сокровенным
- 00:00:59,850 --> 00:01:00,680 Ты что, расстроен?
- 00:01:00,930 --> 00:01:04,730 В голове не укладывается, что вы трахались в ее сне!
- 00:01:04,980 --> 00:01:06,900 Извини. Это было мимолетное увлечение
- 00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:12,030 Я был очень пьяный, и дело было в подсознании другого человека
- 00:01:12,110 --> 00:01:15,360 Первый сезон, 22-я серия "Непристойное поведение"
- 00:02:00,700 --> 00:02:02,330 Привет, Рэйчел
- 00:02:02,580 --> 00:02:05,580 Блин, слезай!
- 00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:11,420 Дай ручку! Ты представляешь меня оператором сверлильного станка?
- 00:02:11,420 --> 00:02:14,970 Не знаю. А что на тебе надето?
- 00:02:17,220 --> 00:02:19,720 Фибс, зачем тебе нужно работать на сверлильном станке?
- 00:02:19,970 --> 00:02:21,310 Нужна временная работа
- 00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:23,890 Пока не вернутся некоторые мои клиенты по массажу
- 00:02:24,140 --> 00:02:26,060 Опять пираты?
- 00:02:26,310 --> 00:02:28,770 Нет, ничего подобного
- 00:02:29,020 --> 00:02:31,190 Просто я такая дура
- 00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:34,110 Я провела семинар "Самомассаж на дому"
- 00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:37,150 И теперь у них практика
- 00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:40,160 Эй, Чен, ты бы мог ее взять
- 00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:42,950 Спасибо, Джои. Какая светлая мысль
- 00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:44,700 А я могу! Я бы справилась!
- 00:02:44,950 --> 00:02:46,040 Что за работа?
- 00:02:46,290 --> 00:02:48,000 Моей секретарши не будет пару недель
- 00:02:48,250 --> 00:02:51,540 Она уменьшает одну из своих сисек
- 00:02:51,790 --> 00:02:54,340 А, это целая сисьтория
- 00:02:54,590 --> 00:02:56,220 Я могу работать секретаршей
- 00:02:56,470 --> 00:02:59,050 Не знаю, Фибс, подойдет ли это тебе...
- 00:02:59,300 --> 00:03:02,470 ...поскольку там нужно быть практически нормальной...
- 00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:04,430 ...большую часть дня
- 00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:07,940 Я бы справилась
- 00:03:07,940 --> 00:03:10,060 - С чем это ты играешь? - С новым пейджером.
- 00:03:10,310 --> 00:03:12,730 А на кой палеонтологу пейджер?
- 00:03:12,980 --> 00:03:14,980 У динозавров бывают срочные дела?
- 00:03:15,230 --> 00:03:18,530 Помогите! Быстро! Они все вымерли!
- 00:03:18,570 --> 00:03:22,070 Это на случай, если у Кэрол начнутся схватки. Она меня вызовет
- 00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:26,540 Нужно всего лишь набрать 55-ДЖИМБО
- 00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:30,170 Классный номер, и потенциальное имя для ребенка
- 00:03:30,420 --> 00:03:31,420 Ну все, пока, ребята
- 00:03:31,670 --> 00:03:33,340 Спешишь к юному Итану?
- 00:03:33,590 --> 00:03:35,630 Спасибо тебе
- 00:03:35,880 --> 00:03:39,170 Насколько юн юный Итан? Совсем юный?
- 00:03:39,420 --> 00:03:41,680 Нашего возраста
- 00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:45,060 Когда нам было?...
- 00:03:47,270 --> 00:03:48,930 Ну, он старшекурсник в колледже
- 00:03:49,180 --> 00:03:51,900 В колледже?
- 00:03:52,060 --> 00:03:54,980 Этот большой ребенок ничего не имеет против твоего возраста?
- 00:03:55,230 --> 00:03:56,280 Нет, конечно, нет
- 00:03:56,530 --> 00:03:58,360 Такой вопрос вообще не возникал...
- 00:03:58,610 --> 00:04:00,240 ...я ему сказала, что мне 22.
- 00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:01,740 - Сколько? - А что?
- 00:04:01,990 --> 00:04:03,450 Мне нельзя дать 22?
- 00:04:03,700 --> 00:04:05,620 Ну, может, 25, 26.
- 00:04:05,870 --> 00:04:07,120 Мне и есть 26.
- 00:04:07,370 --> 00:04:10,040 Вот видишь!
- 00:04:21,340 --> 00:04:24,260 Слышишь звук?
- 00:04:26,970 --> 00:04:30,600 Он прекратится, когда ты возьмешь трубку
- 00:04:31,890 --> 00:04:34,480 У! Выхожу на связь!
- 00:04:35,940 --> 00:04:39,690 Кабинет мистера Бинга
- 00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:42,360 Нет, извините, он сейчас на совещании
- 00:04:42,610 --> 00:04:44,240 Я не на совещании!
- 00:04:44,490 --> 00:04:47,160 Ему известно, по какому вопросу обратиться?
- 00:04:47,410 --> 00:04:48,950 И он знает ваш номер?
- 00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:53,460 Я прослежу, чтобы он получил эту информацию. До свидания!
- 00:04:55,500 --> 00:04:57,880 Росс передает привет
- 00:04:58,050 --> 00:05:00,630 Как интересно! Что будем делать дальше?
- 00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:03,760 Ну, вообще-то теперь мне нужно работать
- 00:05:04,010 --> 00:05:07,220 "Скорее всего, да."
- 00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:11,890 Ладно, я буду за дверью
- 00:05:12,140 --> 00:05:14,020 Всё. Па-па
- 00:05:14,270 --> 00:05:17,230 Па-па
- 00:05:21,360 --> 00:05:22,190 Да?
- 00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:25,780 А что ты делаешь?
- 00:05:27,450 --> 00:05:30,830 Так, окна вымыты. Свечи горят
- 00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:33,330 Пояс жмет. Надо его поменять
- 00:05:33,580 --> 00:05:38,130 Я выключила рыбу? Не-а, поскольку приготовила лазанью.
- 00:05:38,290 --> 00:05:39,840 Я что, иду вразнос?
- 00:05:40,090 --> 00:05:41,920 Самую малость
- 00:05:42,170 --> 00:05:45,880 Мон, я не понимаю. Ты с ним встречаешься еще с его...
- 00:05:46,140 --> 00:05:48,430 ...вступительных экзаменов
- 00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:52,470 Чего это вдруг ты вся такая...?
- 00:05:55,310 --> 00:05:56,810 Что?
- 00:05:57,060 --> 00:06:01,440 Сегодня у вас что-то будет?
- 00:06:01,530 --> 00:06:04,490 Не знаю. Он классный парень...
- 00:06:04,740 --> 00:06:08,160 ...и мне с ним очень хорошо. Но, знаешь...
- 00:06:08,410 --> 00:06:13,120 ...это случается само собой. Такие вещи не планируют
- 00:06:13,700 --> 00:06:16,750 А-а. Ты побрила ноги?
- 00:06:20,500 --> 00:06:23,460 Может, успокоишься, Росс? Это был всего лишь сон
- 00:06:23,710 --> 00:06:26,720 Это не значит...
- 00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:29,550 Всё, всё! Ребёнок на подходе!
- 00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:33,890 Так, успокойся, успокойся. Всё нормально
- 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:37,940 Алло, здравствуйте. Мне передали на пейджер
- 00:06:38,150 --> 00:06:40,190 Нет, Андре здесь нет
- 00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:42,860 Третий раз за сегодня
- 00:06:43,110 --> 00:06:45,610 Да, я уверен
- 00:06:45,860 --> 00:06:49,240 Нет, сэр. Я не оказываю услуги такого рода
- 00:06:49,490 --> 00:06:50,950 Услуги?
- 00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:52,870 А, услуги
- 00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:57,790 Да, вам нужен 55-ДЖАМБО
- 00:07:00,210 --> 00:07:01,630 Именно так
- 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:04,960 Именно так. ДЖАМБО через "а", сэр
- 00:07:05,210 --> 00:07:06,670 Нет, поверьте, я не подойду
- 00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:11,180 Судя по его номеру, я бы вас страшно разочаровал
- 00:07:11,430 --> 00:07:15,060 Ну ладненько, пока
- 00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:19,100 Привет! Как прошел первый день?
- 00:07:19,350 --> 00:07:22,690 Отлично! Все были такие приветливые!
- 00:07:22,940 --> 00:07:26,490 Видишь? Хорошо иметь таких популярных друзей
- 00:07:26,740 --> 00:07:29,110 Меня
- 00:07:29,660 --> 00:07:32,120 - Я не сказала, что знаю тебя. - Почему?
- 00:07:32,370 --> 00:07:34,910 Ну, потому что... Сам знаешь!
- 00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:38,210 Они тебя не любят
- 00:07:40,420 --> 00:07:41,250 Что?
- 00:07:41,500 --> 00:07:44,090 - Я думала, ты знаешь. - Не-э-э.
- 00:07:45,500 --> 00:07:46,710 Кто именно меня не любит?
- 00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:48,590 Да все
- 00:07:48,840 --> 00:07:50,470 Кроме, разве что...
- 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:53,850 Нет. Все
- 00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:56,470 Что ты такое говоришь?
- 00:07:56,720 --> 00:07:58,100 Ну не сердись
- 00:07:58,350 --> 00:08:00,560 Знаешь, раньше ты им очень нравился
- 00:08:00,810 --> 00:08:03,150 Но потом тебя повысили, и теперь ты...
- 00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:05,610 ..."мистер босс". Ну, большая шишка
- 00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:08,780 Мистер Бинг. Шишка босс Бинг
- 00:08:10,110 --> 00:08:11,320 Ушам своим не верю
- 00:08:11,570 --> 00:08:15,030 Ага. Они тебя даже передразнивают
- 00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:17,080 Передразнивают?
- 00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:19,540 Ну да, знаешь, типа...
- 00:08:19,790 --> 00:08:23,670 "А вы сдать отчет ПОПОЗЖЕ не могли?"
- 00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:29,550 Я так не говорю
- 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:32,180 Еще как говоришь
- 00:08:32,430 --> 00:08:35,510 "И в горах зазвенели...
- 00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:39,100 ...МУЗЫКИ звуки"
- 00:08:43,100 --> 00:08:44,020 "Моя булочка!
- 00:08:44,270 --> 00:08:47,650 МО-Я булочка!"
- 00:08:48,230 --> 00:08:52,110 Ни фига. Не говорю я так. Это такая НЕправда
- 00:08:53,780 --> 00:08:55,740 Это ТАКАЯ... Это ТАКАЯ...
- 00:08:55,990 --> 00:08:59,620 Это... Да ну вас всех!
- 00:09:01,790 --> 00:09:04,460 - Да ты что! - Говорю тебе, до 9 лет...
- 00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:07,960 ...я думал, что прицел - это такое место преступления
- 00:09:08,210 --> 00:09:09,090 Как такое может быть?
- 00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:11,170 Подумай - так всегда говорят в новостях
- 00:09:11,420 --> 00:09:14,220 "Заложника держат под прицелом."
- 00:09:14,470 --> 00:09:17,010 "Преступники взяли группу туристов на прицел."
- 00:09:17,260 --> 00:09:21,980 И я всё думал, почему люди до сих пор не избегают этого места?
- 00:09:26,100 --> 00:09:28,650 Всё, мне пора
- 00:09:37,070 --> 00:09:39,740 - Если только... - Что?
- 00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:42,450 Если ты не хочешь остаться на ночь
- 00:09:42,700 --> 00:09:46,000 Я-то все равно ночую здесь. Так что...
- 00:09:47,170 --> 00:09:50,840 Да, я бы очень этого хотел
- 00:09:56,590 --> 00:10:00,810 Но прежде чем мы, собственно, начнем ночевать...
- 00:10:01,060 --> 00:10:03,350 ...я бы хотел кое-что сказать
- 00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:06,850 Ладно. Это типа "у меня завтра с утра занятия"...
- 00:10:07,100 --> 00:10:09,980 ...или "я женат тайным браком на козе"?
- 00:10:10,230 --> 00:10:13,820 Ну, это нечто... среднее
- 00:10:14,070 --> 00:10:18,240 Понимаешь, с чисто технической точки зрения, я как бы...
- 00:10:18,490 --> 00:10:21,330 В смысле, я еще никогда...
- 00:10:21,580 --> 00:10:23,450 Итан?
- 00:10:23,700 --> 00:10:25,000 Ты девственник?
- 00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:29,380 Ну... если это у вас, молодых, теперь так называется, то...
- 00:10:29,630 --> 00:10:32,130 ...да, это так
- 00:10:33,590 --> 00:10:38,550 Девственник. Я вообще ждал, когда попадется хорошая девушка
- 00:10:38,890 --> 00:10:41,720 Правда?
- 00:10:42,560 --> 00:10:46,440 Ты же поняла, что я говорил о тебе, да?
- 00:10:53,820 --> 00:10:56,070 Ого!
- 00:10:56,320 --> 00:10:58,240 Да, красноречиво
- 00:10:58,490 --> 00:11:01,910 Знаешь, можно об этом читать. Можно видеть в кино.
- 00:11:02,160 --> 00:11:05,950 Можно даже дома потренироваться, но, блин-вареник...
- 00:11:06,210 --> 00:11:10,290 ...в жизни всё гораздо круче
- 00:11:11,500 --> 00:11:14,760 Слушай, слушай
- 00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:19,510 Ты сказал мне то, что тебе было нелегко сказать
- 00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:24,390 Я думаю, в ответ на твою честность мне тоже стоит кое в чем признаться
- 00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:27,810 Только не говори, что я все сделал не так
- 00:11:29,650 --> 00:11:33,230 Нет, всё было в полном порядке
- 00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:37,900 Так вот
- 00:11:38,150 --> 00:11:40,410 Мне не 22 года.
- 00:11:40,660 --> 00:11:43,990 Мне 25 лет...
- 00:11:44,240 --> 00:11:47,160 ...и 13 месяцев
- 00:11:48,660 --> 00:11:51,040 Но я думаю, это не играет роли
- 00:11:51,290 --> 00:11:55,170 Какое к черту значение имеет наш возраст?
- 00:11:57,340 --> 00:11:59,050 Послушай...
- 00:11:59,300 --> 00:12:02,970 ...раз уж мы тут рассказываем всякие вещи...
- 00:12:03,470 --> 00:12:06,140 ...у меня тоже есть что сказать
- 00:12:06,390 --> 00:12:10,270 Я немного моложе, чем я сказал
- 00:12:10,890 --> 00:12:12,190 Ты не старшекурсник?
- 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:15,980 О нет, я-то старше...
- 00:12:18,490 --> 00:12:21,110 ...классник
- 00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:33,830 Мы совершили ошибку
- 00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:39,970 Блин, моего партнера еще в живых не было на 200-летие США!
- 00:12:40,740 --> 00:12:44,290 А я трахнулся
- 00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:48,380 Итан, сосредоточься. Как ты мог мне не сказать?
- 00:12:48,630 --> 00:12:49,960 Ты мне тоже не сказала свой возраст
- 00:12:50,210 --> 00:12:51,250 Тут есть разница!
- 00:12:51,500 --> 00:12:56,090 Мое вранье не сделало одного из нас преступником в 48 штатах!
- 00:12:56,340 --> 00:12:59,430 - Чем ты думал? - Я не думал. Я слишком очумел от...
- 00:12:59,680 --> 00:13:00,510 Не говори это слово!
- 00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:03,310 ..любви к тебе
- 00:13:03,430 --> 00:13:04,600 Правда?
- 00:13:04,850 --> 00:13:07,440 Извини
- 00:13:07,770 --> 00:13:09,060 Тогда лечись от этой чумы
- 00:13:09,310 --> 00:13:13,230 Тебе вообще здесь не место. Тебе завтра в школу!
- 00:13:14,730 --> 00:13:16,570 О господи!
- 00:13:16,820 --> 00:13:19,070 Я как одна из тех женщин, которые...
- 00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:23,280 ...ходят с лощеными красавчиками по имени Чед
- 00:13:24,910 --> 00:13:28,290 Я Джоан Коллинз
- 00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:32,460 Кто?
- 00:13:39,680 --> 00:13:44,060 Да, Андре придет примерно через три четверти часа
- 00:13:44,310 --> 00:13:47,890 Ну ладненько. До свидания
- 00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:52,110 Так оно просто легче
- 00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:54,730 Ну давай, расскажи свой последний сон
- 00:13:54,980 --> 00:13:56,570 Нет. И не надейся
- 00:13:56,820 --> 00:14:02,280 Почему? Я сделал что-то особенно... эдакое?
- 00:14:02,910 --> 00:14:06,040 Ладно. Уговорил
- 00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:09,790 Ты там был не один
- 00:14:09,870 --> 00:14:12,380 Там был и Джои тоже
- 00:14:13,540 --> 00:14:15,920 Так-так
- 00:14:16,250 --> 00:14:19,340 А больше...
- 00:14:21,510 --> 00:14:23,930 ...там никого не было?
- 00:14:24,180 --> 00:14:25,220 Нет
- 00:14:25,470 --> 00:14:27,430 Точно? А никто там...
- 00:14:27,680 --> 00:14:31,900 ...свечку не держал или как?
- 00:14:32,310 --> 00:14:35,480 Нет, были только мы трое
- 00:14:36,980 --> 00:14:38,740 Так, значит, ты с Чендлером...
- 00:14:38,990 --> 00:14:42,910 ...потом ты со мной, или сразу ты со мной и Чендлером?
- 00:14:43,780 --> 00:14:46,450 - А знаете что? - Что?
- 00:14:46,700 --> 00:14:48,540 Время от времени...
- 00:14:48,790 --> 00:14:52,330 ...вы вообще обходились без меня
- 00:15:00,670 --> 00:15:05,680 Как я рада за вас, ребята!
- 00:15:09,850 --> 00:15:12,850 Мон, Итан опять звонил
- 00:15:18,980 --> 00:15:19,780 Что?
- 00:15:20,030 --> 00:15:22,530 Итан звонил снова
- 00:15:22,780 --> 00:15:24,160 Ты с ним уже не встречаешься?
- 00:15:24,410 --> 00:15:25,820 Нет
- 00:15:26,070 --> 00:15:28,450 Иногда отношения просто не складываются
- 00:15:28,700 --> 00:15:34,370 А это не потому, что его не отпустили с урока физкультуры?
- 00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:40,000 Я ничего не говорила... Ничего! Я клянусь
- 00:15:40,260 --> 00:15:41,420 Он сам зашел по дороге
- 00:15:41,670 --> 00:15:43,050 Когда будешь с ним говорить...
- 00:15:43,300 --> 00:15:48,430 ...может, спросишь, который из Пауэр Рейнджеров самый сильный?
- 00:15:49,470 --> 00:15:53,180 Да, вот такая забавная у меня жизнь. Может, хватит?
- 00:15:53,440 --> 00:15:55,060 Извини
- 00:15:55,310 --> 00:15:56,730 "Пора превращаться!"
- 00:15:56,980 --> 00:16:00,110 - Стегозавр! - Тираннозавр!
- 00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:05,700 У, а! Мне пора идти
- 00:16:05,950 --> 00:16:08,870 А, у! Кровь ударила в голову
- 00:16:09,490 --> 00:16:12,160 Еще разок, и уже пошла
- 00:16:12,410 --> 00:16:15,000 Круто
- 00:16:17,290 --> 00:16:19,250 А куда ты идешь?
- 00:16:19,500 --> 00:16:21,590 На день рождения к сотруднику
- 00:16:21,840 --> 00:16:24,260 К сотруднику?
- 00:16:24,510 --> 00:16:25,470 А мне никто не сказал
- 00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:28,010 Ага, я знаю. Это у них...
- 00:16:28,260 --> 00:16:32,180 ...прикол такой - тебя не любить
- 00:16:32,850 --> 00:16:35,850 Не понимаю. Месяц назад они все были моими друзьями
- 00:16:36,100 --> 00:16:39,230 Ну, стал я начальником. Сам-то я не изменился
- 00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:44,280 Тогда идем, повеселимся. Покажешь им, какой ты классный парень
- 00:16:44,530 --> 00:16:48,200 - Ты так думаешь? - Правда, пойдем.
- 00:16:48,780 --> 00:16:51,990 Только можно мы придем отдельно?
- 00:16:52,120 --> 00:16:56,410 Не хочу быть конченой дурой, которая привела начальника
- 00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:00,290 Прошлый вечер прошел потрясающе
- 00:17:00,540 --> 00:17:04,300 Помнишь караоке? Мы с Трейси спели "Черное дерево и слоновую кость"
- 00:17:04,550 --> 00:17:07,680 Ты был чудо! Но они все равно над тобой смеются
- 00:17:07,930 --> 00:17:08,720 Что?
- 00:17:08,970 --> 00:17:10,760 Теперь ты типа "мистер демократичный босс"
- 00:17:11,010 --> 00:17:12,510 Мистер Начальник-Тоже-Человек
- 00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:16,560 Мистер Я-всем-вам-дружбан. Босс-Шишка-Бинг!
- 00:17:16,810 --> 00:17:19,100 Тогда вообще ничего не понимаю
- 00:17:19,350 --> 00:17:23,070 А знаешь что, Чендлер? По-моему, тебе нужно смириться с этим
- 00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:25,740 Ты же теперь типа человек в своем кабинете
- 00:17:25,990 --> 00:17:28,860 Ты их берешь на работу и увольняешь
- 00:17:29,110 --> 00:17:30,700 К тому же они говорят, что ты - хороший начальник
- 00:17:30,950 --> 00:17:31,780 Правда?
- 00:17:32,030 --> 00:17:35,450 Но теперь вы больше не друзья
- 00:17:35,700 --> 00:17:38,420 - Я просто хочу... - Но не можешь.
- 00:17:38,670 --> 00:17:41,380 - Но я хотел... - Нэ-а.
- 00:17:50,840 --> 00:17:51,640 А ты не...
- 00:17:51,890 --> 00:17:55,520 У нас с Кэрол новая система. Если она передает 9-1-1...
- 00:17:55,770 --> 00:17:59,310 ...это значит, она рожает. А если нет - я просто игнорирую
- 00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:00,690 А что там с Андре?
- 00:18:00,940 --> 00:18:04,020 Ему позвонил, кажется, наш с тобой кузен Натан
- 00:18:04,270 --> 00:18:08,570 И откровенно говоря, я бы предпочел всего этого не знать
- 00:18:15,790 --> 00:18:18,410 Это была моя заготовка
- 00:18:18,660 --> 00:18:22,460 Эй! Вы, ребята, уже видели новые сушилки для рук в туалете?
- 00:18:22,710 --> 00:18:26,500 - Я думал, это только слухи. - Нет, это правда.
- 00:18:29,230 --> 00:18:31,490 Послушай, я хочу тебе сказать
- 00:18:31,740 --> 00:18:35,490 Мне не 17 лет. Я так сказал, чтобы ты решила, какой я милый и стеснительный
- 00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:36,910 Вообще-то мне 30.
- 00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:41,290 У меня есть жена. Я работаю. Я конгрессмен от твоего штата
- 00:18:41,540 --> 00:18:44,210 Моника, это всё курам на смех. Нам же хорошо вместе!
- 00:18:44,460 --> 00:18:48,340 Мы разговариваем. Нам весело. А секс - господи боже мой!
- 00:18:48,590 --> 00:18:52,420 Сравнивать мне не с чем, но это было потрясающе!
- 00:18:52,670 --> 00:18:56,050 - Правда. - Так в чем проблема?
- 00:18:57,180 --> 00:19:00,720 Итан, это...
- 00:19:01,310 --> 00:19:03,060 Это непристойно
- 00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:04,770 Непристойно?
- 00:19:05,020 --> 00:19:09,770 Ты хочешь прекратить наши отношения, потому что это непристойно?
- 00:19:10,020 --> 00:19:12,030 Мне это тоже нелегко
- 00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:13,820 Жаль, что всё не вышло по-другому
- 00:19:14,070 --> 00:19:16,610 Если бы ты был старше, или я моложе...
- 00:19:16,860 --> 00:19:20,240 ...или мы жили бы в библейские времена...
- 00:19:20,490 --> 00:19:21,290 ...то я бы смогла тебя...
- 00:19:21,540 --> 00:19:23,080 Нет, не говори
- 00:19:23,330 --> 00:19:25,960 ...полюбить тебя
- 00:19:29,210 --> 00:19:31,250 - У тебя руки мокрые? - Влажные.
- 00:19:31,500 --> 00:19:34,720 Тогда еще сушиться
- 00:19:39,300 --> 00:19:44,310 А он, типа "Не могли сделать эту маргариту ЕЩЕ крепче?"
- 00:19:44,980 --> 00:19:46,140 Здравствуйте, Чендлер
- 00:19:46,390 --> 00:19:47,730 Здравствуйте, мистер Бинг
- 00:19:47,980 --> 00:19:51,980 Вы классно вчера изобразили Стиви Уандера
- 00:19:52,190 --> 00:19:54,480 Спасибо. Теперь о сводках за неделю...
- 00:19:54,740 --> 00:19:57,280 ...они должны лежать у меня на столе к ДЕВЯТИ часам
- 00:19:57,530 --> 00:20:00,950 - Конечно. - Без проблем.
- 00:20:02,660 --> 00:20:04,450 Надо же их как-то загрузить
- 00:20:04,570 --> 00:20:07,830 Это были Герстон, Сантос... а как зовут того, с усами?
- 00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:10,000 - Петри. - Петри. Ну хорошо.
- 00:20:10,250 --> 00:20:12,920 Так-так, кое-кому придется поработать...
- 00:20:13,170 --> 00:20:15,710 ...НА выходные
- 00:20:44,610 --> 00:20:47,740 Ой, как хорошо
- 00:20:51,950 --> 00:20:54,370 Росс!
- 00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:06,550 Я здесь
- 00:21:07,260 --> 00:21:09,850 Правда?
- 00:21:14,020 --> 00:21:17,350 Мы только что...
- 00:21:17,690 --> 00:21:20,070 Что?
- 00:21:21,940 --> 00:21:24,070 Ну вот. У меня рождается ребенок
- 00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:26,320 Что?
- 00:21:26,570 --> 00:21:29,780 Ребенок! Рождается ребенок...
- 00:21:30,030 --> 00:21:34,290 - Телефон, телефон! - У меня его нет.
- 00:21:37,170 --> 00:21:39,920 Я ушибся
- 00:21:43,460 --> 00:21:46,550 Моника, пошли! Идемте, народ! У нее схватки!
- 00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:50,680 - Росс, послушай, это смешно. - Расскажешь в такси.
- 00:21:50,970 --> 00:21:53,270 Что ты делаешь? Что ты делаешь? Мы едем в больницу!
- 00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:56,690 Мне нельзя быть красивой? Там же будут врачи
- 00:21:56,940 --> 00:22:00,610 - Джои, отойди от холодильника! - Ладно, ладно!
- 00:22:00,860 --> 00:22:02,770 - Что это? - Это в дорогу.
- 00:22:03,030 --> 00:22:04,740 - Как будто в такси... - Хватит!
- 00:22:04,990 --> 00:22:05,780 Я ненавижу это
- 00:22:06,030 --> 00:22:08,030 Моника, шевелись! Поехали!
- 00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:09,240 Ребенок на подходе!
- 00:22:09,490 --> 00:22:11,990 Не верится, что я буду теткой!
- 00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:13,660 У меня будет племянник!
- 00:22:13,910 --> 00:22:17,160 Это здорово. Выметайся!
- 00:22:19,210 --> 00:22:22,670 Всё-всё, я иду. Уже иду
- 00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:32,260 Росси, идем. Пошли, пошли
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