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Эпизод с фальшивой Моникой
The One with the Fake Monica
Сезон: 01Серия: 21
Описание
Когда личность Моники похищают, она, Фиби и Рэйчел решают поймать самозванку. Моника вскоре заводит дружбу с этой жизнерадостной женщиной, которую, тем не менее, позже арестовывают. Джоуи просит друзей помочь ему придумать менее итальянское сценическое имя, но Чендлер предлагает шуточные имена, которые портят его прослушивания. Марсель достигает половой зрелости, и Росс понимает, что ему нужно быть с другими обезьянами. Марселя вскоре принимают в зоопарк Сан-Диего, и компания прощается с ним в аэропорту.
Субтитры
- 00:00:02,836 --> 00:00:05,045 How'd someone get your credit card number?
- 00:00:05,213 --> 00:00:07,673 I have no idea. Look how much they spent!
- 00:00:07,841 --> 00:00:11,593 Calm down. You only have to pay for the stuff you bought.
- 00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:14,513 Still, it's just such reckless spending.
- 00:00:14,723 --> 00:00:16,598 When somebody steals your credit card...
- 00:00:16,766 --> 00:00:19,810 ...they've kind of already thrown caution to the wind.
- 00:00:23,064 --> 00:00:28,068 Wow, what a geek. They spent $69.95 on a Wonder Mop.
- 00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:31,155 That's me.
- 00:00:33,408 --> 00:00:35,117 Oh! Oh, the yuck.
- 00:00:36,369 --> 00:00:37,786 He's doing it again!
- 00:00:37,954 --> 00:00:40,247 Marcel, stop humping the lamp!
- 00:00:40,415 --> 00:00:42,791 Stop humping! Now, Marcel, come back!
- 00:00:42,959 --> 00:00:44,126 Come here, Marcel!
- 00:00:44,294 --> 00:00:46,503 Oh, no, no! Not in my room! I'll get him.
- 00:00:46,671 --> 00:00:49,673 You've got to do something about the humping.
- 00:00:49,841 --> 00:00:52,092 What? It's just a phase.
- 00:00:52,260 --> 00:00:55,095 Well, that's what we said about Joey.
- 00:00:57,265 --> 00:01:00,684 Hey, would you all relax? It's not that big a deal.
- 00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:03,228 RACHEL: Marcel, stop it! Marcel! Bad monkey!
- 00:01:03,396 --> 00:01:04,688 - What? RACHEL: Ugh!
- 00:01:05,231 --> 00:01:08,650 Let's just say my Curious George doll is no longer curious.
- 00:02:00,036 --> 00:02:03,705 Ugh, Monica, you are not still going over that thing.
- 00:02:03,873 --> 00:02:06,708 - This woman's living my life. - What?
- 00:02:07,168 --> 00:02:10,838 She's living my life, and she's doing it better than me.
- 00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:13,257 Look at this. Look.
- 00:02:13,424 --> 00:02:16,093 She buys tickets to plays I want to see.
- 00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:19,596 She shops at stores that I'm intimidated by the salespeople.
- 00:02:19,764 --> 00:02:22,349 She spent $300 on art supplies.
- 00:02:22,517 --> 00:02:23,892 You're not an artist.
- 00:02:24,060 --> 00:02:27,062 Yeah, well, I might be if I had the supplies.
- 00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:32,192 I mean, I could do all this stuff. Only I don't.
- 00:02:32,652 --> 00:02:35,112 Oh, Monica, come on. You do cool things.
- 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:37,447 Oh, really? Let's compare, shall we?
- 00:02:37,615 --> 00:02:41,118 Oh, it's so late for "shall we?"
- 00:02:41,744 --> 00:02:44,121 Do I go horseback riding in the park, hmm?
- 00:02:44,330 --> 00:02:46,331 Do I take classes at The New School?
- 00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:48,500 - No. - No.
- 00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:50,377 This is so unfair.
- 00:02:50,545 --> 00:02:53,964 She's got everything I want, and she doesn't have my mother.
- 00:03:02,390 --> 00:03:04,558 How about Joey Paponi?
- 00:03:04,726 --> 00:03:08,937 No, still too ethnic. My agent thinks I should have a name that's more neutral.
- 00:03:09,105 --> 00:03:10,939 Joey Switzerland?
- 00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:20,199 Plus I think it should be Joe. Joey makes me sound like I'm...
- 00:03:20,366 --> 00:03:21,617 ...this big.
- 00:03:21,784 --> 00:03:22,993 Which I'm not!
- 00:03:25,538 --> 00:03:28,874 Joe, Joe, Joe... Stalin?
- 00:03:30,418 --> 00:03:32,294 Stalin.
- 00:03:33,171 --> 00:03:35,714 Do I know that name? That sounds familiar.
- 00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:39,426 - Well, it does not ring a bell with me. - Huh.
- 00:03:39,594 --> 00:03:42,804 Joe Stalin.
- 00:03:45,016 --> 00:03:46,850 You know, that's pretty good.
- 00:03:47,518 --> 00:03:49,561 - You might want to try Joseph. - Ah!
- 00:03:55,985 --> 00:03:58,528 Joseph Stalin!
- 00:03:59,030 --> 00:04:01,323 - I think you'd remember that! - Oh, yes!
- 00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:05,702 Bye Bye Birdie, starring Joseph Stalin.
- 00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:09,581 Joseph Stalin is the Fiddler on the Roof.
- 00:04:17,882 --> 00:04:19,091 - Hey. - Hey.
- 00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:20,592 Hi.
- 00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:24,846 Hi. Uh, yes, this is Monica Geller.
- 00:04:25,014 --> 00:04:29,351 Um, I'm taking classes with you, and I was wondering what they were.
- 00:04:31,562 --> 00:04:33,146 What are you doing?
- 00:04:33,314 --> 00:04:34,648 All right, great.
- 00:04:34,857 --> 00:04:36,817 Great. Thanks a lot.
- 00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:38,819 I'm going to tap class.
- 00:04:38,987 --> 00:04:42,239 So you can dance with the woman that stole your card?
- 00:04:42,407 --> 00:04:44,825 She's got my life. I want to see who she is.
- 00:04:44,993 --> 00:04:47,369 Go to the post office! I'm sure her picture's up!
- 00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:51,248 Honey, you're kind of losing it here.
- 00:04:51,416 --> 00:04:54,251 This is really becoming a weird obsession.
- 00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:56,253 This is madness, I tell you.
- 00:04:56,421 --> 00:04:58,547 For the love of God, Monica, don't do it!
- 00:05:02,176 --> 00:05:04,136 Thank you.
- 00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:13,103 What do you think?
- 00:05:13,271 --> 00:05:15,272 Lots of things.
- 00:05:16,232 --> 00:05:18,108 Which one do you think she is?
- 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:19,943 - May I help you? - Oh, no, thanks.
- 00:05:20,111 --> 00:05:21,862 We're just here to observe.
- 00:05:22,071 --> 00:05:25,907 You don't observe a dance class. You dance a dance class!
- 00:05:26,075 --> 00:05:27,409 Spare shoes are over there.
- 00:05:30,788 --> 00:05:32,039 What does she mean?
- 00:05:32,248 --> 00:05:34,082 I think she means, "You dance...
- 00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:35,917 ...a dance class!"
- 00:05:36,127 --> 00:05:37,919 Come on, come on, come on!
- 00:05:38,129 --> 00:05:39,671 RACHEL: Really?
- 00:05:40,089 --> 00:05:42,799 Hey, do you see anybody you think could be me?
- 00:05:42,967 --> 00:05:47,596 People, last time there were yogurt containers lying around after class.
- 00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:49,598 Let's not have that happen again!
- 00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:52,142 She could be you.
- 00:05:56,773 --> 00:05:58,065 Let's get started.
- 00:05:58,649 --> 00:06:02,694 Five, six. Five, six, seven, eight.
- 00:06:07,408 --> 00:06:09,242 Okay, I'm not getting this!
- 00:06:09,452 --> 00:06:12,537 I'm totally getting it!
- 00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:20,420 Do you ever just feel like you're so unbelievably uncoordinated?
- 00:06:28,262 --> 00:06:30,430 What? You just click when they click.
- 00:06:32,308 --> 00:06:34,810 All right. Now everyone grab a partner.
- 00:06:34,977 --> 00:06:36,478 Oh! Oh.
- 00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:41,608 All right. And my dead mother said you are it! I'm with Rachel.
- 00:06:42,026 --> 00:06:44,736 Great, it's gym class all over again.
- 00:06:44,904 --> 00:06:46,405 RACHEL & PHOEBE: Aww.
- 00:06:46,989 --> 00:06:50,784 That's all right. You can come up to the front and dance with me.
- 00:06:51,452 --> 00:06:54,996 Why don't I just take off my clothes and have a nightmare?
- 00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:04,965 It's okay, it's okay! I'm here, I'm here. I'm so sorry I'm late.
- 00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:06,383 Okay, here I am.
- 00:07:06,551 --> 00:07:09,052 So who's the new tense girl?
- 00:07:09,554 --> 00:07:10,762 She's your partner.
- 00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:12,681 - Hi, I'm Monica. - Hi.
- 00:07:14,142 --> 00:07:15,392 Oh, ha.
- 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:17,686 Monica.
- 00:07:18,312 --> 00:07:19,855 Hi, I'm Mon...
- 00:07:20,022 --> 00:07:21,064 Nana.
- 00:07:21,232 --> 00:07:23,567 - Monana? - Yeah.
- 00:07:24,485 --> 00:07:25,610 It's Dutch.
- 00:07:25,778 --> 00:07:28,363 You're kidding. I spent three years in Amsterdam.
- 00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:30,157 [SPEAKING IN DUTCH]
- 00:07:31,993 --> 00:07:35,162 Um, Pennsylvania Dutch.
- 00:07:36,247 --> 00:07:37,622 And we're dancing!
- 00:07:37,790 --> 00:07:40,542 Five, six, seven, eight.
- 00:07:47,508 --> 00:07:48,925 Hi.
- 00:07:50,636 --> 00:07:52,345 - Hey. - Hey.
- 00:07:52,513 --> 00:07:55,765 - Where have you been? - I just got back from the vet.
- 00:07:55,975 --> 00:07:59,603 She's not gonna make you wear a big plastic cone, is she?
- 00:08:02,648 --> 00:08:05,650 She says Marcel's humping thing is not a phase.
- 00:08:05,818 --> 00:08:09,070 Apparently, he's reached sexual maturity.
- 00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:12,157 Hey, he beat you!
- 00:08:15,912 --> 00:08:20,916 She says, as time goes on, he'll start getting aggressive and violent.
- 00:08:21,125 --> 00:08:22,584 What does this mean?
- 00:08:24,962 --> 00:08:26,421 I have to give him up.
- 00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:46,650 I can't believe it. This sucks!
- 00:08:46,817 --> 00:08:50,320 You just got him. How could he be an adult already?
- 00:08:50,488 --> 00:08:53,782 I know, I know. One day he's this little thing...
- 00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:56,451 ...and before you know it, he's this little thing...
- 00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:59,246 ...I can't get off my leg.
- 00:09:00,665 --> 00:09:02,457 Isn't there any way you can keep him?
- 00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:03,667 No. No.
- 00:09:03,834 --> 00:09:07,671 The vet said that unless he's in a place where he has regular access...
- 00:09:07,838 --> 00:09:12,092 ...to some monkey loving...
- 00:09:13,177 --> 00:09:15,136 ...he's just gonna get vicious.
- 00:09:15,304 --> 00:09:18,181 I just gotta get him into a zoo.
- 00:09:20,059 --> 00:09:22,852 - How do you get a monkey into a zoo? - I know that one!
- 00:09:27,358 --> 00:09:30,277 No, that's popes into a Volkswagen.
- 00:09:31,862 --> 00:09:36,241 We're applying to a lot of them. Our first choice would be a state zoo.
- 00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:39,035 You know, like, uh, San Diego.
- 00:09:39,745 --> 00:09:41,371 Right?
- 00:09:41,539 --> 00:09:45,875 But that may just be a pipe dream because he's out-of-state.
- 00:09:48,170 --> 00:09:52,507 My vet knows someone at Miami, so that's a possibility.
- 00:09:52,675 --> 00:09:56,177 But that's two blocks from the beach. It's a total party zoo.
- 00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:02,017 - Hey. CHANDLER: Hey.
- 00:10:02,184 --> 00:10:03,977 - Hi. - We found the girl!
- 00:10:04,145 --> 00:10:05,770 - What? - Did you call the cops?
- 00:10:05,938 --> 00:10:07,522 Nope. We took her to lunch.
- 00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:10,400 Ah. Your own brand of vigilante justice.
- 00:10:12,194 --> 00:10:14,738 Are you insane? This woman stole from you!
- 00:10:14,905 --> 00:10:17,490 She stole! She's a stealer!
- 00:10:18,242 --> 00:10:21,369 After you're with this woman for 10 minutes, you forget all that.
- 00:10:23,414 --> 00:10:25,874 I mean, she's this astounding person...
- 00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:28,251 ...with this amazing spirit!
- 00:10:28,419 --> 00:10:31,546 Yeah, which she probably stole from some cheerleader!
- 00:10:33,883 --> 00:10:36,217 - Take off their hats. - Popes in a Volkswagen!
- 00:10:36,385 --> 00:10:37,677 Mm-hm.
- 00:10:39,597 --> 00:10:41,681 I love that joke.
- 00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:50,190 - No way! No way did you do this! - Monana was very brave.
- 00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:51,941 It was so wild.
- 00:10:52,109 --> 00:10:55,070 We told them we were the Gunnersons in room 615...
- 00:10:55,237 --> 00:10:59,115 ...only to find out the Boston Celtics had the entire sixth floor!
- 00:10:59,283 --> 00:11:02,786 So when they caught on to the fact that we're short and have breasts...
- 00:11:03,287 --> 00:11:06,998 They threw us out. I was thrown out of a hotel! Me!
- 00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:09,167 Go, Monana!
- 00:11:11,295 --> 00:11:14,964 Well, you ladies are not the only ones living the dream.
- 00:11:15,132 --> 00:11:20,011 I get to go pour coffee for people I don't know. Don't wait up.
- 00:11:21,430 --> 00:11:23,348 Oh, by the way...
- 00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:26,810 ...tomorrow we're auditioning for a Broadway show.
- 00:11:28,270 --> 00:11:29,312 Excuse me?
- 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:31,189 There's an open call for Cats.
- 00:11:31,357 --> 00:11:34,192 I'm thinking we go down there, sing "Memories"...
- 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:37,445 ...and make complete fools of ourselves. What do you say?
- 00:11:38,197 --> 00:11:40,490 No, no, no.
- 00:11:40,658 --> 00:11:43,326 Remember who you're dealing with here. Ha.
- 00:11:43,494 --> 00:11:46,663 I'm not like you. I can't even stand in front of a tap class.
- 00:11:46,831 --> 00:11:48,832 That's because of your Amish background.
- 00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:53,920 - What? - Well, you're Pennsylvania Dutch, right?
- 00:11:54,088 --> 00:11:55,171 Right.
- 00:11:55,339 --> 00:11:58,842 Till I bought a blow dryer. Then I was shunned.
- 00:12:00,678 --> 00:12:02,095 I was just like you.
- 00:12:02,263 --> 00:12:06,224 And then one day, I saw a movie that changed my life.
- 00:12:06,851 --> 00:12:09,310 - Did you ever see Dead Poets Society? - Uh-huh.
- 00:12:09,478 --> 00:12:13,148 I thought that movie was so incredibly...
- 00:12:13,315 --> 00:12:14,357 ...boring!
- 00:12:14,900 --> 00:12:17,068 I mean, that thing at the end where the kid...
- 00:12:17,236 --> 00:12:19,821 ...kills himself because he can't be in the play?
- 00:12:20,656 --> 00:12:21,990 What was that?
- 00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:26,786 It's like, "Kid, wait a year. Leave home, do some community theater!"
- 00:12:28,956 --> 00:12:30,790 I walked out of there, and I thought:
- 00:12:30,958 --> 00:12:35,378 "Now, that's two hours of my life that I'm never getting back!"
- 00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:39,257 And that scared me more than all the other crap I was afraid to do.
- 00:12:39,967 --> 00:12:41,092 Wow.
- 00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:43,470 Then I would definitely not recommend Mrs. Doubtfire.
- 00:12:43,637 --> 00:12:45,847 [LAUGHING]
- 00:12:51,395 --> 00:12:53,521 Oh, God.
- 00:12:54,523 --> 00:12:57,192 We didn't get into Scranton.
- 00:12:58,861 --> 00:13:01,946 That was our safety zoo.
- 00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:05,825 They take, like, dogs and cows.
- 00:13:07,995 --> 00:13:09,245 See?
- 00:13:09,413 --> 00:13:12,874 I don't know who this is harder on, me or him.
- 00:13:13,751 --> 00:13:16,628 I'd say that chair's taking the brunt of it.
- 00:13:18,672 --> 00:13:20,590 ROSS: Marcel. Marcel.
- 00:13:20,758 --> 00:13:22,050 Marcel, no.
- 00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:25,261 Good boy!
- 00:13:25,429 --> 00:13:27,514 See? How can nobody want him?
- 00:13:27,681 --> 00:13:29,599 Somebody will.
- 00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:35,271 You know there already is a Joseph Stalin?
- 00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:41,653 You're kidding!
- 00:13:42,905 --> 00:13:47,158 Apparently, he was this Russian dictator who slaughtered all these people!
- 00:13:48,994 --> 00:13:52,455 - You'd think you would've known that! - You'd think I would've.
- 00:13:55,042 --> 00:13:59,212 Phoebe, what do you think a good stage name for me would be?
- 00:13:59,547 --> 00:14:00,839 [CLEARS THROAT]
- 00:14:01,006 --> 00:14:02,507 Flame Boy!
- 00:14:10,182 --> 00:14:11,891 Where exactly is your zoo?
- 00:14:12,059 --> 00:14:14,811 Well, it's technically not a zoo per se.
- 00:14:14,979 --> 00:14:17,730 It's, uh, more of an interactive wildlife experience.
- 00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:21,317 Let me ask you some questions about... Is it, uh, Marcel?
- 00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:23,069 - Yes. - Yes. Uh...
- 00:14:23,237 --> 00:14:25,238 Does he, uh, fight with other animals?
- 00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:28,324 No, no. He's very docile.
- 00:14:28,492 --> 00:14:31,744 Hmm. Even if he were cornered?
- 00:14:34,790 --> 00:14:37,250 Well, I don't know. Why?
- 00:14:37,418 --> 00:14:40,461 Um, how is he at handling small objects?
- 00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:44,340 He can hold a banana, if that's what you mean.
- 00:14:45,676 --> 00:14:48,469 What about a hammer or a small blade?
- 00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:54,934 [STAMMERS] Why would he need a blade?
- 00:14:55,102 --> 00:14:58,187 If he's up against a jungle cat or an animal with horns...
- 00:14:58,355 --> 00:15:00,440 ...you got to give the little guy something.
- 00:15:00,608 --> 00:15:02,901 Otherwise, it's just cruel!
- 00:15:05,654 --> 00:15:08,072 [PANTING] He got into San Diego!
- 00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:09,407 - What? - Yeah.
- 00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:12,827 We were coming back from our walk, and the phone was ringing...
- 00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:14,621 - He's in! - He's in? Ah!
- 00:15:14,788 --> 00:15:16,623 Did you hear that, Marcel?
- 00:15:16,790 --> 00:15:19,584 San Diego! San Diego! Yeah!
- 00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:22,879 You're making a mistake. San Diego's well and good...
- 00:15:23,047 --> 00:15:26,382 ...but if you give him to me, I'll start him against a blind rabbit...
- 00:15:26,550 --> 00:15:28,551 ...and give you 20 percent of the gate.
- 00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:48,571 Yo-ho!
- 00:15:49,865 --> 00:15:51,115 Where have you been?
- 00:15:51,659 --> 00:15:54,243 Monica and I just crashed an embassy party.
- 00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:56,621 Are you drunk?
- 00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:59,248 No!
- 00:16:03,003 --> 00:16:04,379 I'm lying.
- 00:16:04,546 --> 00:16:06,756 I am so drunk!
- 00:16:06,924 --> 00:16:08,257 Oh, God!
- 00:16:08,425 --> 00:16:11,094 Ugh. Great. You know what? You could have called.
- 00:16:11,261 --> 00:16:13,179 I've been up here. I've been worried...
- 00:16:13,347 --> 00:16:14,722 Monica.
- 00:16:14,890 --> 00:16:16,766 Monica?
- 00:16:19,895 --> 00:16:22,522 Water rules!
- 00:16:25,109 --> 00:16:27,110 Yes. Yes, it does.
- 00:16:27,277 --> 00:16:31,531 The restaurant called. They want to know if you're showing up.
- 00:16:31,699 --> 00:16:33,241 Nope!
- 00:16:33,409 --> 00:16:35,785 I'm going to the Big Apple Circus today.
- 00:16:35,953 --> 00:16:39,998 What are you doing? You're gonna lose your job. This is not you!
- 00:16:40,165 --> 00:16:41,916 No, it is me!
- 00:16:42,084 --> 00:16:45,294 I'm not just the person who needs to fluff the pillows...
- 00:16:45,546 --> 00:16:47,755 ...and pay the bills as soon as they come in!
- 00:16:47,965 --> 00:16:52,677 You know, when I'm with her, I'm so much more than that!
- 00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:54,512 I'm...
- 00:16:55,472 --> 00:16:58,307 I'm Monana!
- 00:16:58,475 --> 00:17:01,269 [PHONE RINGING]
- 00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:05,565 Ahem, hello?
- 00:17:05,733 --> 00:17:07,817 Yes, she is. Hold on a second, please.
- 00:17:07,985 --> 00:17:10,820 Ahem, Monana, it's for you.
- 00:17:10,988 --> 00:17:12,989 The credit card people.
- 00:17:13,615 --> 00:17:15,450 Hello?
- 00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:18,661 Yes?
- 00:17:20,122 --> 00:17:22,040 Oh, my God!
- 00:17:22,916 --> 00:17:24,417 Thanks.
- 00:17:25,419 --> 00:17:26,919 What?
- 00:17:27,087 --> 00:17:29,547 They've arrested Monica.
- 00:17:40,017 --> 00:17:42,351 - Hi. - Hey.
- 00:17:42,561 --> 00:17:44,187 How are you?
- 00:17:44,354 --> 00:17:47,023 I'm not too bad. Fortunately, blue's my color.
- 00:17:48,442 --> 00:17:49,776 How did you know I was here?
- 00:17:51,862 --> 00:17:53,404 Because...
- 00:17:54,323 --> 00:17:55,490 ...I'm Monica Geller.
- 00:17:56,867 --> 00:17:59,702 It was my credit card you were using.
- 00:17:59,870 --> 00:18:02,246 That I was not expecting.
- 00:18:02,414 --> 00:18:05,041 I want you to know, I didn't turn you in.
- 00:18:05,209 --> 00:18:06,834 Oh.
- 00:18:07,002 --> 00:18:10,088 - Thanks. - No, thank you.
- 00:18:10,255 --> 00:18:12,590 You have given me so much.
- 00:18:12,758 --> 00:18:14,926 If it wasn't for you, I'd never have gotten...
- 00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:17,762 ...to sing "Memories" at the Winter Garden Theater.
- 00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:20,056 Actually, you only got to sing "Memo..."
- 00:18:22,476 --> 00:18:26,395 I can't believe you're in here. What am I gonna do without you?
- 00:18:26,563 --> 00:18:29,107 Who's gonna crash the embassy parties with me?
- 00:18:29,274 --> 00:18:31,526 Who's gonna take me to the Big Apple Circus?
- 00:18:32,152 --> 00:18:36,572 Monica, I started my day by peeing in front of 25 other women...
- 00:18:36,740 --> 00:18:41,077 ...and you're worried about who will take you to the Big Apple Circus?
- 00:18:42,204 --> 00:18:45,915 Well, not worried, you know, just wondering.
- 00:18:46,083 --> 00:18:48,584 There's nothing to wonder about.
- 00:18:48,752 --> 00:18:52,547 You'll go back to being who you were because that's who you are.
- 00:18:53,090 --> 00:18:55,424 - Not necessarily. - Yes, necessarily.
- 00:18:55,884 --> 00:18:58,469 I don't know what it is. Maybe it's the Amish thing.
- 00:19:01,723 --> 00:19:04,600 Um, I'm not actually Amish.
- 00:19:04,810 --> 00:19:07,311 Really? Then why are you like that?
- 00:19:23,453 --> 00:19:25,037 You by the door, in or out?
- 00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:28,332 In!
- 00:19:33,797 --> 00:19:35,840 You in the back, you're getting it wrong!
- 00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:37,842 At least I'm doing it!
- 00:19:52,566 --> 00:19:56,485 WOMAN [OVER PA]: This is the final boarding call for Flight 67 to San Diego...
- 00:19:56,653 --> 00:19:58,988 ...boarding at Gate 42A.
- 00:19:59,156 --> 00:20:01,532 Okay, goodbye, little monkey guy.
- 00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:04,994 - I wrote you this poem. - Aw.
- 00:20:05,162 --> 00:20:07,872 Okay, but don't eat it till you get on the plane.
- 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,917 - Thank you, Aunt Phoebe. - Aww.
- 00:20:14,087 --> 00:20:16,380 Okay, bye, champ.
- 00:20:16,548 --> 00:20:19,425 There's gonna be a lot of babes in San Diego...
- 00:20:19,593 --> 00:20:23,137 ...but remember, there's also a lot to learn.
- 00:20:28,936 --> 00:20:32,563 I don't know what to say, Ross. Uh, it's a monkey.
- 00:20:32,731 --> 00:20:36,025 Just say what you feel, Joey.
- 00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:38,819 Marcel, I'm hungry.
- 00:20:39,821 --> 00:20:40,863 ROSS: That was good.
- 00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:46,452 - Marcel, this is for you. - Oh.
- 00:20:46,620 --> 00:20:50,498 It's, uh, just, you know, something to, um...
- 00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:53,376 ...do on the plane.
- 00:20:55,963 --> 00:20:59,215 If you don't mind, I'd like a moment, just me and him.
- 00:20:59,383 --> 00:21:02,385 - Sure. - Of course. Absolutely.
- 00:21:03,220 --> 00:21:05,263 ALL: Oh.
- 00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:09,976 Marcel, come here. Come here.
- 00:21:10,143 --> 00:21:11,852 Come here.
- 00:21:12,020 --> 00:21:13,646 Well, buddy...
- 00:21:15,649 --> 00:21:17,066 ...this is it.
- 00:21:17,234 --> 00:21:20,361 There's just a couple of things I wanted to say.
- 00:21:21,822 --> 00:21:24,365 I'm really gonna miss you.
- 00:21:24,533 --> 00:21:27,451 You know? And I'm never gonna forget about you.
- 00:21:27,619 --> 00:21:32,498 You've been more than just a pet to me.
- 00:21:32,791 --> 00:21:34,292 You've been more like a...
- 00:21:34,459 --> 00:21:36,585 Okay. Marcel, would you...?
- 00:21:37,379 --> 00:21:39,630 Marcel, would you leave my leg alone?
- 00:21:39,798 --> 00:21:43,426 Would you just stop humping me for two seconds? Marc... Would you...?
- 00:21:43,593 --> 00:21:47,430 Okay, would you just take him away? Just take him.
- 00:22:09,369 --> 00:22:13,164 O! That I were a glove upon that hand...
- 00:22:13,332 --> 00:22:17,043 ...that I might touch thy cheek.
- 00:22:17,210 --> 00:22:19,879 WOMAN: That's fine. Thank you.
- 00:22:20,047 --> 00:22:21,839 MAN: Next.
- 00:22:25,552 --> 00:22:28,346 Hi. Uh, I'll be reading for the role of Mercutio.
- 00:22:28,513 --> 00:22:31,474 MAN: Name? - Holden McGroin.
- 00:22:39,483 --> 00:22:41,484 [English - US - SDH]
- 00:00:02,970 --> 00:00:04,930 Как так можно - узнать номер твоей кредитной карточки?
- 00:00:05,180 --> 00:00:07,600 Понятия не имею. Но посмотри, сколько он тратит!
- 00:00:07,850 --> 00:00:11,570 Успокойся. Платить все равно нужно только за то, что ты реально купила
- 00:00:11,820 --> 00:00:14,440 И всё-таки он так швыряет деньги на ветер
- 00:00:14,690 --> 00:00:16,610 Когда кто-то крадет твою кредитку...
- 00:00:16,860 --> 00:00:21,330 ...он уже как бы швыряет на ветер свою осторожность
- 00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:29,250 Ого! Ну и придурок. Потратить 69,95 на "Чудо-швабру"
- 00:00:29,500 --> 00:00:32,290 Это была я
- 00:00:36,340 --> 00:00:37,800 Он опять за своё!
- 00:00:38,050 --> 00:00:40,340 Марсель, хватит дрючить лампу!
- 00:00:40,590 --> 00:00:42,760 Хватит ее дрючить! А ну-ка, Марсель, вернись!
- 00:00:43,010 --> 00:00:44,010 Иди ко мне, Марсель!
- 00:00:44,270 --> 00:00:47,020 О, нет-нет! Только не у меня в комнате! Я его принесу
- 00:00:47,270 --> 00:00:49,690 Росс, тебе надо что-то делать с Марселем
- 00:00:49,940 --> 00:00:52,230 Что? Это у него период такой
- 00:00:52,480 --> 00:00:56,570 Мы уже говорили то же самое про Джои
- 00:00:57,530 --> 00:01:00,610 Да успокойтесь вы все, ладно? Подумаешь, большое дело
- 00:01:00,870 --> 00:01:03,410 Марсель, прекрати! Марсель! Плохая обезьяна!
- 00:01:03,660 --> 00:01:04,950 Что?
- 00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:10,170 Скажем так, моего кукольного Джорджа отныне можно звать Жоржеттой
- 00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:15,380 Первый сезон, 21-я серия "Фальшивая Моника"
- 00:02:00,030 --> 00:02:03,030 Моника, ты до сих пор не хочешь успокоиться
- 00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:06,970 - Но эта женщина живет моей жизнью. - Что?
- 00:02:07,220 --> 00:02:11,060 Она живет моей жизнью, причем лучше, чем это делаю я
- 00:02:11,310 --> 00:02:13,350 Сама посмотри. Смотри
- 00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:16,060 Она покупает билеты на спектакли, которые я хотела бы посмотреть
- 00:02:16,310 --> 00:02:19,480 Ходит в магазины, куда я не хожу из страха перед продавцами
- 00:02:19,730 --> 00:02:22,360 Она потратила 300 долларов на принадлежности для живописи
- 00:02:22,610 --> 00:02:23,820 Но ты же не художник
- 00:02:24,070 --> 00:02:27,740 А могла бы быть, если бы имела принадлежности
- 00:02:27,990 --> 00:02:32,410 Я могла бы делать всё это. Только не делаю
- 00:02:32,660 --> 00:02:35,040 Моника, да успокойся ты. Ты делаешь много интересного
- 00:02:35,290 --> 00:02:37,420 Да ну? Давай сравним, а?
- 00:02:37,670 --> 00:02:41,590 Ой, уже так поздно делать "а"
- 00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:43,920 Я катаюсь в парке на лошадях?
- 00:02:44,170 --> 00:02:48,510 Я хожу на курсы в Нью-Скул?
- 00:02:48,930 --> 00:02:50,300 Это так несправедливо
- 00:02:50,550 --> 00:02:55,430 У нее есть все, чего нет у меня, и при этом нет моей мамаши
- 00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:04,530 Как насчет Джои Папони?
- 00:03:04,780 --> 00:03:06,530 Нет, все равно национальный привкус
- 00:03:06,780 --> 00:03:09,660 Мой агент думает, мне нужно более нейтральное имя
- 00:03:09,910 --> 00:03:12,370 Джои Швейцария?
- 00:03:15,830 --> 00:03:20,170 Кроме того, мне лучше быть Джо. "Джои" - это что-то такое...
- 00:03:20,420 --> 00:03:21,500 ...крошечное
- 00:03:21,750 --> 00:03:24,380 А это не так!
- 00:03:25,420 --> 00:03:30,300 Джо, Джо, Джо... Сталин?
- 00:03:30,550 --> 00:03:32,850 Сталин
- 00:03:33,100 --> 00:03:35,730 Откуда я знаю эту фамилию? Такая знакомая
- 00:03:35,980 --> 00:03:39,350 Ну, у меня она ни с чем не ассоциируется
- 00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:43,520 Джо Сталин
- 00:03:44,980 --> 00:03:47,240 А знаешь, совсем неплохо
- 00:03:47,490 --> 00:03:51,070 Рекомендую попробовать "Джозеф"
- 00:03:55,950 --> 00:03:58,750 Джозеф Сталин!
- 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:02,750 - А это запоминающееся имя! - Да уж!
- 00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:05,630 "Прощай, птичка", в главной роли Джозеф Сталин
- 00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:10,840 Джозеф Сталин - новый "Скрипач на крыше"!
- 00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:25,150 Здравствуйте, это Моника Геллер
- 00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:30,780 Я записалась к вам на курсы, и хотела бы спросить, на какие
- 00:04:31,490 --> 00:04:33,120 Что ты делаешь?
- 00:04:33,370 --> 00:04:34,530 Хорошо, спасибо
- 00:04:34,780 --> 00:04:36,830 Отлично. Большое спасибо
- 00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:38,700 Я хожу на курсы чечетки
- 00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:42,080 То есть ты хочешь потанцевать с женщиной, которая тебя обокрала?
- 00:04:42,330 --> 00:04:44,630 Она украла мою жизнь. Я хочу увидеть, кто это
- 00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:48,800 Сходи на почту! Она наверняка в розыске, там есть фотография!
- 00:04:49,050 --> 00:04:51,220 Знаешь, Моника, у тебя уже крыша едет
- 00:04:51,470 --> 00:04:54,220 Это уже становится дурацкой манией
- 00:04:54,470 --> 00:04:56,310 Это безумие! Безумие, это я тебе говорю!
- 00:04:56,560 --> 00:05:01,140 Ради всего святого, Моника, не делай этого!
- 00:05:02,270 --> 00:05:04,980 Спасибо
- 00:05:11,530 --> 00:05:13,070 Что вы думаете?
- 00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:16,200 Много разных мыслей
- 00:05:16,330 --> 00:05:17,990 Как вы думаете, которая она?
- 00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:19,870 - Вы на курсы? - Нет, спасибо.
- 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:21,750 Мы просто посмотрим
- 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:25,880 Танцкласс - не смотрят. Танцкласс - танцуют!
- 00:05:26,130 --> 00:05:29,710 Запасные туфли там
- 00:05:30,720 --> 00:05:31,920 Что она хотела сказать?
- 00:05:32,170 --> 00:05:34,050 По-моему, она хотела сказать...
- 00:05:34,300 --> 00:05:35,800 ..."Танцкласс - танцуют!"
- 00:05:36,050 --> 00:05:37,810 Давайте, давайте, давайте!
- 00:05:38,060 --> 00:05:39,810 Правда?
- 00:05:40,060 --> 00:05:42,600 Вы видите кого-нибудь, кто мог бы быть мною?
- 00:05:42,850 --> 00:05:47,570 Так, люди, в прошлый раз по залу валялись пачки от йогурта
- 00:05:47,820 --> 00:05:50,030 Давайте больше так не будем!
- 00:05:50,280 --> 00:05:53,490 Она могла бы быть тобой
- 00:05:56,780 --> 00:05:58,450 Давайте начинать
- 00:05:58,700 --> 00:06:03,580 Пять, шесть. Пять, шесть, семь, восемь
- 00:06:07,340 --> 00:06:09,420 Что-то я не въезжаю!
- 00:06:09,670 --> 00:06:13,510 А я еще как въезжаю!
- 00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:21,850 Господи, никогда не думала, что можно иметь такую плохую координацию!
- 00:06:28,270 --> 00:06:31,860 Что? Просто надо стучать, когда они стучат
- 00:06:32,230 --> 00:06:36,160 Так, хорошо. Теперь все берите партнеров
- 00:06:36,570 --> 00:06:41,790 Так. Моя-покойная-мама была-дорогая-путана... Я с Рэйчел
- 00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:46,120 Ну вот, всё опять как в школе на физкультуре
- 00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:51,210 Ничего страшного. Выходите вперед и танцуйте со мной
- 00:06:51,460 --> 00:06:56,430 Может, мне сразу раздеться догола и сдохнуть от стыда?
- 00:07:00,180 --> 00:07:04,850 Ничего, ничего! Я уже здесь, я здесь. Извините за опоздание
- 00:07:05,100 --> 00:07:06,230 Ну вот, я пришла
- 00:07:06,480 --> 00:07:09,230 Ну? Кто эта закомплексованная новенькая?
- 00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:10,610 Это твоя партнерша
- 00:07:10,860 --> 00:07:14,150 Привет, я Моника
- 00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:19,820 Привет, а я Мо...
- 00:07:20,070 --> 00:07:20,910 ...нана
- 00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:23,950 Монана
- 00:07:24,410 --> 00:07:25,580 Это голландское имя
- 00:07:25,830 --> 00:07:30,630 Не может быть. Я прожила три года в Амстердаме
- 00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:35,920 Из пенсильванской Голландии
- 00:07:36,170 --> 00:07:37,590 И танцуем!
- 00:07:37,840 --> 00:07:41,600 Пять, шесть, семь, восемь
- 00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:55,650 - Ты где был? - Я только что от ветеринара.
- 00:07:55,900 --> 00:08:00,870 Тебя же не заставили носить большой пластмассовый конус, а?
- 00:08:02,580 --> 00:08:05,620 Врач сказала, что у Марселя это не временный период
- 00:08:05,870 --> 00:08:09,580 По-видимому, он достиг половой зрелости
- 00:08:09,830 --> 00:08:13,590 Ого, он обогнал тебя!
- 00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:21,050 Она говорит, со временем он станет агрессивным и жестоким
- 00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:24,010 И что же теперь делать?
- 00:08:24,890 --> 00:08:27,850 Мне придется его отдать
- 00:08:43,740 --> 00:08:46,580 Прямо не верится, Росс. Какой ужас!
- 00:08:46,830 --> 00:08:50,290 Ты же только что его взял. Когда он успел стать взрослым?
- 00:08:50,540 --> 00:08:53,580 Да уж, да уж. Сегодня он совсем крошка...
- 00:08:53,830 --> 00:08:56,630 ...а не успеешь глазом моргнуть, и он уже крошка...
- 00:08:56,880 --> 00:09:00,550 ...которую нельзя оторвать от ноги
- 00:09:00,880 --> 00:09:03,180 А можно как-нибудь его оставить?
- 00:09:03,430 --> 00:09:06,510 Нет! Ветеринар говорит: если не поселить его там, где...
- 00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:09,770 ...он сможет время от времени...
- 00:09:10,020 --> 00:09:12,940 ...общаться с себе подобными...
- 00:09:13,190 --> 00:09:15,270 ...у него испортится характер
- 00:09:15,520 --> 00:09:19,740 Мне придется отдать его в зоопарк
- 00:09:20,110 --> 00:09:24,410 - А как отдать обезьяну в зоопарк? - А я знаю!
- 00:09:27,370 --> 00:09:31,830 А, нет, это другой анекдот
- 00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:36,380 Мы уже написали в несколько. Лучше всего в государственный
- 00:09:36,630 --> 00:09:39,710 Например, в Сан-Диего
- 00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:41,550 Правильно?
- 00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:47,430 Но это может оказаться нереально, поскольку он живёт вне закона
- 00:09:48,180 --> 00:09:52,480 Ветеринар знает кое-кого в Майами, так что там есть шанс
- 00:09:52,730 --> 00:09:57,690 Но это в двух кварталах от пляжа. Там, небось, пьянки-гулянки до утра
- 00:10:02,780 --> 00:10:04,110 Мы нашли её! Мы нашли эту девицу!
- 00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:05,740 - Что? - Вы вызвали полицию?
- 00:10:05,990 --> 00:10:07,490 Не-а. Мы пригласили ее на обед
- 00:10:07,740 --> 00:10:11,500 А, это у вас такой оригинальный способ страшной мести?
- 00:10:11,750 --> 00:10:14,830 Ты в своем уме? Она у тебя крадет!
- 00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:18,250 Она крадет! Она - крадунья!
- 00:10:18,500 --> 00:10:23,260 Пообщавшись с этой женщиной десять минут, забываешь об этом
- 00:10:23,510 --> 00:10:25,970 Она такой потрясающий человек...
- 00:10:26,220 --> 00:10:28,220 ...с таким зажигательным характером!
- 00:10:28,470 --> 00:10:33,140 Ага! Она его украла у девчонок из группы поддержки!
- 00:10:33,980 --> 00:10:37,730 - У богатых берет, бедным дает. - Девочка-Робин Гуд!
- 00:10:39,770 --> 00:10:43,070 Обожаю этот анекдот
- 00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:50,580 - Что? Как вы ухитрились! - Монана оказалась такая храбрая.
- 00:10:50,830 --> 00:10:51,990 Ох и пощекотали же мы нервы
- 00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:55,160 Мы сказали, что мы Ганнерсоны из номера шесть-пятнадцать...
- 00:10:55,410 --> 00:10:59,090 ...и тут оказалось, что "Бостон Селтикс" сняли весь шестой этаж!
- 00:10:59,340 --> 00:11:03,260 И когда они засекли, что мы маленького роста и с сиськами...
- 00:11:03,510 --> 00:11:07,300 ...нас просто выкинули вон. Меня выкинули из гостиницы! Меня!
- 00:11:07,550 --> 00:11:10,720 Даешь, Монана!
- 00:11:11,510 --> 00:11:15,020 Что ж, дамочки, не одни вы живете в сладких снах
- 00:11:15,270 --> 00:11:21,570 Я пошла наливать кофе людям, которых вообще не знаю. Не ждите
- 00:11:22,190 --> 00:11:23,440 О, кстати...
- 00:11:23,690 --> 00:11:28,410 ...завтра у нас прослушивание на бродвейский мюзикл
- 00:11:28,450 --> 00:11:29,280 Прошу прощения?
- 00:11:29,530 --> 00:11:31,280 Открытый конкурс на роли в "Кошках"
- 00:11:31,530 --> 00:11:34,200 Я думаю, нам стоит пойти туда, спеть "Воспоминания"...
- 00:11:34,450 --> 00:11:39,830 ...и выставить себя полными дурами. Что скажешь?
- 00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:43,250 Не забудь, с кем ты имеешь дело
- 00:11:43,500 --> 00:11:46,590 Я не такая, как ты. Я даже не могу танцевать перед классом
- 00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:50,340 Это всё твое забитое сектантское детство
- 00:11:51,890 --> 00:11:53,930 Ты же из пенсильванской Голландии, правильно?
- 00:11:54,180 --> 00:11:55,180 А, ну да
- 00:11:55,430 --> 00:12:00,190 А потом я купила фен, и меня выгнали из дому
- 00:12:00,730 --> 00:12:02,150 Я была точно такая же
- 00:12:02,400 --> 00:12:06,610 А потом как-то раз я посмотрела фильм, изменивший мою жизнь
- 00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:09,360 Видела когда-нибудь "Общество покойных поэтов"?
- 00:12:09,610 --> 00:12:13,280 Этот фильм оказался для меня таким невероятно...
- 00:12:13,530 --> 00:12:14,870 ...скучным!
- 00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:17,750 Там в конце, понимаешь ли, парень...
- 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:20,630 ...кончает с собой, потому что не может играть в пьесе
- 00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:21,960 Что это за дурость?
- 00:12:22,210 --> 00:12:28,300 Да, в конце концов, подожди год, поиграй пока в любительском театре
- 00:12:29,090 --> 00:12:30,640 Я выходила с сеанса и думала...
- 00:12:30,890 --> 00:12:35,600 ..."Эти два часа моей жизни я уже никогда не верну назад!"
- 00:12:35,850 --> 00:12:39,980 И это испугало меня больше, чем всё то, что я боялась делать!
- 00:12:40,230 --> 00:12:46,190 Ого. Тогда я определенно не рекомендую "Миссис Даутфайер"
- 00:12:51,530 --> 00:12:54,330 О боже
- 00:12:54,580 --> 00:12:58,410 Мы не попали в Скрэнтон
- 00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:02,420 А это был наш стопроцентный запасной вариант
- 00:13:02,670 --> 00:13:07,340 Они там даже собак и коров берут
- 00:13:09,550 --> 00:13:13,470 Не знаю, кому от этого тяжелее, ему или мне
- 00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:18,140 Основной удар принимает на себя стул
- 00:13:23,730 --> 00:13:25,440 Хороший мальчик!
- 00:13:25,690 --> 00:13:27,570 Видите? Как его можно не хотеть взять?
- 00:13:27,820 --> 00:13:31,110 Кто-нибудь да возьмет
- 00:13:32,700 --> 00:13:36,780 А ты знал, что уже был один Джозеф Сталин?
- 00:13:40,580 --> 00:13:42,790 Да ты шутишь!
- 00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:49,010 Это какой-то русский диктатор, который загубил кучу народу!
- 00:13:49,260 --> 00:13:53,970 - И мне кажется, что ты это знал! - И мне тоже так кажется.
- 00:13:55,180 --> 00:14:00,770 Фиби, как ты думаешь, какое мне подобрать хорошее сценическое имя?
- 00:14:01,100 --> 00:14:04,060 Данко!
- 00:14:10,190 --> 00:14:11,860 А где находится ваш зоопарк?
- 00:14:12,110 --> 00:14:14,780 Собственно, формально это вообще не зоопарк как таковой
- 00:14:15,030 --> 00:14:19,080 Это скорее реалити-шоу на темы дикой природы
- 00:14:19,330 --> 00:14:23,290 Можно задать вам пару вопросов... Его зовут Марсель?
- 00:14:23,540 --> 00:14:26,000 Он дерется с другими животными?
- 00:14:26,250 --> 00:14:28,960 Нет, нет. Он очень миролюбивый
- 00:14:29,210 --> 00:14:33,300 Даже если загнать его в угол?
- 00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:37,180 Ну, не знаю. А что?
- 00:14:37,430 --> 00:14:41,470 Умеет ли он обращаться с небольшими предметами?
- 00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:45,440 Он умеет держать банан, если вы об этом
- 00:14:45,690 --> 00:14:50,020 А, например, молоток или небольшой нож?
- 00:14:52,570 --> 00:14:54,860 Зачем... зачем ему нужен нож?
- 00:14:55,110 --> 00:14:58,160 В драке против дикого кота или животного с рогами...
- 00:14:58,410 --> 00:15:01,040 ...малышу не помешает оружие
- 00:15:01,290 --> 00:15:04,460 А иначе это просто бойня!
- 00:15:05,830 --> 00:15:08,000 Его приняли в Сан-Диего!
- 00:15:08,250 --> 00:15:09,170 Что?
- 00:15:09,420 --> 00:15:12,840 Мы вернулись с прогулки, и тут зазвонил телефон...
- 00:15:13,090 --> 00:15:14,630 Его взяли!
- 00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:16,470 Ты слышишь, Марсель?
- 00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:19,600 В Сан-Диего! Сан-Диего!
- 00:15:19,850 --> 00:15:22,810 Вы совершаете ошибку. В Сан-Диего, конечно, хорошо...
- 00:15:23,060 --> 00:15:26,480 ...но отдайте его мне - и я выставлю его против слепого зайца...
- 00:15:26,730 --> 00:15:30,110 ...а вы получите 20 процентов кассы
- 00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:51,460 Где тебя черти носили?
- 00:15:51,710 --> 00:15:55,090 Мы с Моникой наделали шороху на вечеринке в посольстве
- 00:15:55,340 --> 00:15:56,880 Ты пьяная?
- 00:15:57,130 --> 00:15:59,680 Нет!
- 00:16:03,180 --> 00:16:04,390 Я наврала
- 00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:06,730 Я вдребезги пьяная!
- 00:16:06,980 --> 00:16:08,390 О боже!
- 00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:11,230 Прекрасно, Моника. Знаешь что, могла бы хоть позвонить!
- 00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:15,150 Я тут сидела. Я волновалась...
- 00:16:20,110 --> 00:16:23,530 Вода - это жизнь!
- 00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:27,160 Да, это уж точно
- 00:16:27,410 --> 00:16:31,670 Звонили из ресторана. Спрашивают, придешь ли ты на работу
- 00:16:31,920 --> 00:16:33,250 Не-а!
- 00:16:33,500 --> 00:16:35,880 Сегодня я иду в цирк-шапито
- 00:16:36,130 --> 00:16:39,930 Что ты делаешь? Тебя выгонят с работы. Ты сама не своя!
- 00:16:40,180 --> 00:16:41,930 Нет, я как раз сама своя!
- 00:16:42,180 --> 00:16:45,310 Я не только дура, которая вечно взбивает подушки...
- 00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:47,730 ...и платит по всем счетам, как только они приходят!
- 00:16:47,980 --> 00:16:54,320 Знаешь, когда я с ней, я совершенно другой человек!
- 00:16:55,730 --> 00:16:59,070 Я - Монана!
- 00:17:05,740 --> 00:17:08,160 Да, она есть. Секундочку
- 00:17:08,410 --> 00:17:10,790 Монана, это тебя
- 00:17:11,040 --> 00:17:14,540 Из компании по кредитным карточкам
- 00:17:20,130 --> 00:17:22,760 Боже мой!
- 00:17:23,010 --> 00:17:25,100 Спасибо
- 00:17:25,350 --> 00:17:26,930 Что?
- 00:17:27,180 --> 00:17:30,770 Монику арестовали
- 00:17:42,740 --> 00:17:44,240 Ну, как ты?
- 00:17:44,490 --> 00:17:48,200 Нормально. К счастью, голубое мне идет
- 00:17:48,450 --> 00:17:51,620 Откуда ты узнала, что я здесь?
- 00:17:51,870 --> 00:17:54,170 Потому что...
- 00:17:54,420 --> 00:17:56,840 ...я - Моника Геллер
- 00:17:57,090 --> 00:17:59,760 Это моей кредитной карточкой ты пользовалась
- 00:18:00,010 --> 00:18:02,260 Вот этого я не ожидала
- 00:18:02,510 --> 00:18:06,510 Хочу, чтобы ты знала - это не я тебя сдала
- 00:18:07,100 --> 00:18:10,100 - Спасибо. - Нет, тебе спасибо.
- 00:18:10,350 --> 00:18:12,730 Ты дала мне так много
- 00:18:12,980 --> 00:18:14,980 Без тебя я бы никогда...
- 00:18:15,230 --> 00:18:17,820 ...не пошла петь "Воспоминания" в театре "Зимний сад"
- 00:18:18,070 --> 00:18:21,570 Вообще-то ты спела только "Воспо..."
- 00:18:22,490 --> 00:18:26,490 Как же это так? Что я теперь без тебя буду делать?
- 00:18:26,740 --> 00:18:29,120 С кем я буду устраивать разгром на вечеринках в посольстве?
- 00:18:29,370 --> 00:18:31,910 Кто пойдет со мной в цирк-шапито?
- 00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:36,580 Моника, мне утром пришлось писать на глазах у 25 женщин...
- 00:18:36,830 --> 00:18:42,090 ...а у тебя главная проблема, кто поведет тебя в цирк шапито?
- 00:18:42,340 --> 00:18:45,970 Ну, не проблема, а так, просто вопрос
- 00:18:46,220 --> 00:18:48,550 Нечего тут думать, что делать
- 00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:52,930 Будь такой же, как раньше. Это и есть настоящая ты
- 00:18:53,180 --> 00:18:55,650 - Не обязательно. - Нет, обязательно.
- 00:18:55,900 --> 00:18:59,980 Не знаю, в чем причина. Может, тяжелое сектантское детство
- 00:19:02,780 --> 00:19:04,570 Вообще-то я не из сектантов
- 00:19:04,820 --> 00:19:08,820 Правда? Тогда почему ты такая?
- 00:19:23,460 --> 00:19:26,590 Эй, вы у двери, сюда или туда?
- 00:19:27,130 --> 00:19:29,600 Сюда!
- 00:19:33,890 --> 00:19:35,770 Эй, вы сзади, вы всё делаете не так!
- 00:19:36,020 --> 00:19:39,400 Зато я это делаю!
- 00:19:52,740 --> 00:19:56,540 "Заканчивается посадка на рейс 67 до Сан-Диего..."
- 00:19:56,790 --> 00:19:59,000 "...через ворота 42-А"
- 00:19:59,250 --> 00:20:01,460 Ну пока, маленький обезьян
- 00:20:01,710 --> 00:20:04,920 Я написала тебе стихотворение
- 00:20:05,170 --> 00:20:07,930 Только не ешь его, пока не сядешь на самолет
- 00:20:08,180 --> 00:20:11,550 Скажи спасибо тёте Фиби
- 00:20:14,220 --> 00:20:16,480 Ну пока, волосатый
- 00:20:16,730 --> 00:20:19,480 У тебя в Сан-Диего будет много баб...
- 00:20:19,730 --> 00:20:24,280 ...но помни - тебе еще учиться, учиться и учиться
- 00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:32,660 Не знаю, что сказать, Росс. Это же обезьяна
- 00:20:32,910 --> 00:20:36,830 Просто скажи, что ты чувствуешь
- 00:20:37,250 --> 00:20:39,710 Марсель, я чувствую голод
- 00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:42,340 Хорошо сказал
- 00:20:44,050 --> 00:20:47,880 Марсель, это тебе
- 00:20:48,420 --> 00:20:51,140 Ну, чтобы ты в самолете...
- 00:20:51,390 --> 00:20:54,810 ...не очень скучал
- 00:20:56,060 --> 00:20:59,190 Ребята, если вы не против, я бы хотел побыть с ним наедине
- 00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:03,520 - Да, конечно, не против. - Давай.
- 00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:10,070 Марсель, иди ко мне. Иди сюда
- 00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:11,820 Иди ко мне
- 00:21:12,070 --> 00:21:15,030 Ну вот, дружище...
- 00:21:15,660 --> 00:21:17,160 ...и всё
- 00:21:17,410 --> 00:21:21,580 Осталось сказать только пару слов
- 00:21:21,830 --> 00:21:24,380 Я буду очень по тебе скучать
- 00:21:24,630 --> 00:21:27,630 Знаешь, я тебя никогда не забуду
- 00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:30,380 Ты был мне больше, чем...
- 00:21:30,630 --> 00:21:32,680 ...домашнее животное
- 00:21:32,730 --> 00:21:36,310 Ты был мне скорее...
- 00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:39,320 Марсель, может, оставишь мою ногу в покое?
- 00:21:39,570 --> 00:21:43,150 Может, перестанешь меня дрючить хоть на секунду?
- 00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:48,280 Ну всё, может, заберете его? Давайте уносите его
- 00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:14,850 Ах, быть бы мне перчаткой на руке, Я б поцелуй оставил...
- 00:22:15,100 --> 00:22:16,900 ...на ее щеке!
- 00:22:17,150 --> 00:22:19,860 Все, хорошо. Спасибо
- 00:22:20,110 --> 00:22:22,900 Следующий
- 00:22:25,700 --> 00:22:28,370 Я прослушиваюсь на роль Меркуцио
- 00:22:28,620 --> 00:22:32,700 - Имя? - Остап Бендер.
Скриншоты
