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Эпизод со злым ортодонтом
The One with the Evil Orthodontist
Сезон: 01Серия: 20
Описание
Рэйчел и Барри тайно встречаются, несмотря на то, что он теперь помолвлен с Минди, которая просит Рэйчел стать её подружкой невесты. Когда Минди признаётся, что у неё и Барри был роман, пока Рэйчел была помолвлена с Барри, Рэйчел наконец признаётся Минди, что спала с Барри; обе женщины устраивают ему допрос, но Минди всё равно решает выйти замуж за Барри. Тем временем Чендлер сходит с ума, когда женщина, которая ему нравится, не отвечает на его звонки, позже понимая, что произошла путаница. Друзья раздражаются, обнаружив, что кто-то через дорогу за ними шпионит.
Субтитры
- 00:00:03,461 --> 00:00:06,338 I can't believe you would actually say that.
- 00:00:06,506 --> 00:00:09,842 I would much rather be Mr. Peanut than Mr. Salty.
- 00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:13,053 No way. Mr. Salty is a sailor, all right?
- 00:00:13,221 --> 00:00:15,848 He's gotta be, like, the toughest snack there is.
- 00:00:17,392 --> 00:00:20,769 I don't know. You don't wanna mess with corn nuts.
- 00:00:21,396 --> 00:00:23,022 They're crazy.
- 00:00:25,150 --> 00:00:27,568 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You gotta come see this.
- 00:00:27,777 --> 00:00:29,778 There's some creep out there with a telescope.
- 00:00:29,946 --> 00:00:31,196 [RACHEL GASPS]
- 00:00:32,657 --> 00:00:34,992 I can't believe it. He's looking right at us.
- 00:00:35,160 --> 00:00:37,453 Oh, that is so sick.
- 00:00:37,620 --> 00:00:39,371 I feel violated.
- 00:00:39,539 --> 00:00:41,290 And not in a good way.
- 00:00:41,458 --> 00:00:43,083 How can people do that?
- 00:00:43,251 --> 00:00:45,044 [ALL GROANING AND SCOFFING]
- 00:00:45,837 --> 00:00:48,505 Oh, you guys, look. Ugly Naked Guy got gravity boots.
- 00:01:41,851 --> 00:01:45,521 I'm telling you, years from now, school children will study it...
- 00:01:45,688 --> 00:01:48,690 ...as one of the greatest first dates of all time.
- 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:50,734 It was unbelievable.
- 00:01:50,902 --> 00:01:53,904 We could totally be ourselves. We didn't have to play any games.
- 00:01:54,072 --> 00:01:57,533 - So have you called her yet? - Let her know I like her? Are you insane?
- 00:01:58,326 --> 00:01:59,576 Guys. It's gross.
- 00:01:59,744 --> 00:02:02,454 It's the next day. How needy do I wanna seem?
- 00:02:02,622 --> 00:02:04,039 I'm right. Right?
- 00:02:04,207 --> 00:02:05,791 - Let her dangle. - Yeah, definitely.
- 00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,042 Oh.
- 00:02:07,627 --> 00:02:09,753 I can't believe my parents are pressuring me...
- 00:02:09,921 --> 00:02:11,839 ...to find one of you people.
- 00:02:12,215 --> 00:02:14,716 God. Come on. Just do it.
- 00:02:14,884 --> 00:02:18,387 Call her. Stop being so testosterone-y.
- 00:02:20,014 --> 00:02:22,307 Which, by the way, is the real San Francisco treat.
- 00:02:28,189 --> 00:02:30,232 - I got her machine. - Her answering machine?
- 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:32,776 No, interestingly enough, her leaf blower picked up.
- 00:02:36,322 --> 00:02:38,740 So, um, why didn't you say anything?
- 00:02:38,908 --> 00:02:41,827 Oh, no, no, no. Last time I left a spontaneous message...
- 00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:44,580 ...I ended up using the phrase, "Yes, indeed-io."
- 00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:50,460 MONICA: Look, it's Rachel and Barry. No, no, don't everybody look at once.
- 00:02:50,628 --> 00:02:53,714 - Okay, okay. What's going on? - Okay, they're just talking.
- 00:02:53,882 --> 00:02:55,549 Yeah, well, does he look upset?
- 00:02:55,717 --> 00:02:58,260 Does he look like he was just told to shove anything?
- 00:02:59,888 --> 00:03:02,639 No. No, actually, he's smiling.
- 00:03:02,807 --> 00:03:05,100 Oh, my God. Don't do that.
- 00:03:05,268 --> 00:03:06,268 What? What? What?
- 00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:09,813 That man across the street just kicked that pigeon.
- 00:03:11,316 --> 00:03:12,357 Oh.
- 00:03:12,525 --> 00:03:16,361 And basically, that's how a bill becomes a law.
- 00:03:16,529 --> 00:03:17,946 GROUP: Oh.
- 00:03:19,157 --> 00:03:22,451 - See? Hey, Rach. - Hey.
- 00:03:22,785 --> 00:03:24,286 How'd it go?
- 00:03:24,454 --> 00:03:28,332 You know, it was, uh... It was actually really great.
- 00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:30,417 Took me to lunch at the Russian Tea Room.
- 00:03:30,585 --> 00:03:34,004 I had that chicken, you know, where you poke it and butter squirts out.
- 00:03:34,172 --> 00:03:36,256 Not a good day for birds.
- 00:03:36,424 --> 00:03:38,175 And then we took a walk to Bendel's.
- 00:03:38,343 --> 00:03:42,137 And I told him not to, but he got me a little bottle of Chanel.
- 00:03:42,972 --> 00:03:46,725 That's nice. Now was that before or after you told him...
- 00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:51,313 ...to stop calling, stop sending you flowers and to generally leave you alone, huh?
- 00:03:51,814 --> 00:03:55,651 Right. Well, we never actually got to that.
- 00:03:55,818 --> 00:03:58,946 Oh, it was just so nice to see him again, you know? It was...
- 00:03:59,113 --> 00:04:02,491 It was comfortable and it was familiar.
- 00:04:02,659 --> 00:04:04,201 It was just nice.
- 00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:06,995 That's "nice" twice.
- 00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:09,331 Rachel, what's going on?
- 00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:11,959 Isn't this the same Barry who you left at the altar?
- 00:04:12,335 --> 00:04:13,835 Duh. Where have you been?
- 00:04:15,797 --> 00:04:17,714 Yeah, but it was different with him today.
- 00:04:17,882 --> 00:04:20,759 He wasn't, like, Orthodontist Guy, you know?
- 00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:24,680 I mean, we had fun. Is there anything wrong with that?
- 00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:27,266 Yes.
- 00:04:28,142 --> 00:04:30,978 - Why? - I have my reasons.
- 00:04:33,231 --> 00:04:36,066 Okay, how about the fact that he's engaged to another woman...
- 00:04:36,234 --> 00:04:38,318 ...who just happens to be your ex-best friend?
- 00:04:38,486 --> 00:04:41,571 All right. All right, all right, all right. I know it's stupid.
- 00:04:41,739 --> 00:04:45,075 I'll go see him this afternoon and I will just put an end to it.
- 00:04:45,493 --> 00:04:46,910 Wow.
- 00:04:48,204 --> 00:04:50,455 - Wow. - Ha, ha.
- 00:04:50,665 --> 00:04:52,040 Yeah.
- 00:04:52,208 --> 00:04:55,544 I'm not crazy, right? I mean, it was never like that.
- 00:04:56,212 --> 00:04:58,422 No, it wasn't.
- 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:04,678 Oh. It was so nice having this little sink here.
- 00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:12,394 "Oh, Danielle, I wasn't expecting the machine.
- 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:17,274 Give me a call when you get a chance."
- 00:05:19,819 --> 00:05:21,320 Bye-bye.
- 00:05:21,904 --> 00:05:23,363 Oh, God.
- 00:05:25,116 --> 00:05:28,535 That's what you've been working on for the past two hours?
- 00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:30,871 Hey, I've been honing.
- 00:05:31,831 --> 00:05:32,998 What was with the dishes?
- 00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:36,168 Oh, uh, I wanted her to think I might be in a restaurant...
- 00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:39,463 ...you know, I might have some kind of life.
- 00:05:39,630 --> 00:05:42,966 Like I haven't been sitting around here honing for the last two hours?
- 00:05:43,301 --> 00:05:45,552 He's doing it again. The guy with the telescope.
- 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:47,429 PHOEBE: Oh, my God.
- 00:05:48,264 --> 00:05:52,934 Oh. Go away. Stop looking in here!
- 00:05:53,102 --> 00:05:55,729 Great. Now he's waving back.
- 00:05:57,148 --> 00:05:58,815 We gotta do something about that guy.
- 00:05:58,983 --> 00:06:01,318 This morning, I caught him looking into our apartment.
- 00:06:01,486 --> 00:06:04,112 It creeps me out. I feel like I can't do stuff.
- 00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:07,240 What kind of stuff?
- 00:06:08,993 --> 00:06:11,870 Will you grow up? I'm not talking about sexy stuff...
- 00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:14,664 ...but, like, when I'm cooking naked.
- 00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:18,377 You cook naked?
- 00:06:18,544 --> 00:06:21,713 Yeah, toast, oatmeal. Nothing that spatters.
- 00:06:25,176 --> 00:06:27,719 What are you looking at me for? I didn't know that.
- 00:06:30,139 --> 00:06:31,640 What's the matter?
- 00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:35,060 Oh, I just... Oh, Barry, this was not good.
- 00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:38,188 No, it was. It was very, very good.
- 00:06:38,856 --> 00:06:41,942 - What about Mindy? - Oh, way better than Mindy.
- 00:06:43,277 --> 00:06:46,947 No, not that. I mean, what about you and Mindy?
- 00:06:47,573 --> 00:06:50,492 Oh. If you want, I'll just break it off with her.
- 00:06:50,660 --> 00:06:51,993 No. No, no, no.
- 00:06:52,161 --> 00:06:54,621 No, don't do that. Not for me.
- 00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:58,375 BERNICE: Dr. Farber, Bobby Rush is here for his adjustment.
- 00:06:58,543 --> 00:07:00,127 Thanks, Bernice.
- 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:02,879 Let's go away this weekend.
- 00:07:03,047 --> 00:07:05,340 Oh, Barry. Come on. This is all way too...
- 00:07:05,508 --> 00:07:07,134 No, we can go to Aruba.
- 00:07:07,969 --> 00:07:11,096 When I went there on what would've been our honeymoon...
- 00:07:11,264 --> 00:07:14,266 ...it was, uh... It was really nice. You would've liked it.
- 00:07:16,602 --> 00:07:18,645 I had a bra.
- 00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:30,991 Hey, Dr. Farber.
- 00:07:31,159 --> 00:07:34,411 All right, Miss Green, everything looks fine.
- 00:07:34,579 --> 00:07:37,956 Yep, I think we're starting to see some real progress here.
- 00:07:41,752 --> 00:07:44,880 - What? - I'm 12, I'm not stupid.
- 00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:57,100 - Can I use your phone? - Yeah.
- 00:07:57,268 --> 00:07:59,895 Uh, but for future reference, um, that thing in your hand...
- 00:08:00,062 --> 00:08:02,189 ...can also be used as a phone.
- 00:08:04,275 --> 00:08:05,734 [PHONE RINGS]
- 00:08:06,235 --> 00:08:07,569 Yes, it's working.
- 00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:11,281 Why isn't she calling me back?
- 00:08:11,866 --> 00:08:13,366 Maybe she never got your message.
- 00:08:13,534 --> 00:08:16,995 You know, you could call her machine, and if she has a lot of beeps...
- 00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:19,998 ...that means she probably didn't get her messages yet.
- 00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:23,960 - You don't think that makes me seem...? - Desperate? Needy? Pathetic?
- 00:08:24,921 --> 00:08:27,422 Ah, you obviously saw my personal ad.
- 00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:33,011 - How many beeps? - She answered.
- 00:08:34,889 --> 00:08:38,183 You see, this is where you'd use that "hello" word we talked about.
- 00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:41,186 I'm not going to. She obviously got my message...
- 00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:45,232 ...and is choosing not to call me. Now I'm needy and snubbed.
- 00:08:46,692 --> 00:08:48,985 God, I miss just being needy.
- 00:08:50,279 --> 00:08:51,404 GROUP: Hey.
- 00:08:51,572 --> 00:08:53,198 So how'd he take it?
- 00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:55,784 Pretty well, actually.
- 00:08:57,286 --> 00:09:01,831 Uh, Rach. How come you have dental floss in your hair?
- 00:09:03,167 --> 00:09:04,668 Oh, do I?
- 00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:09,548 We ended up having sex in his chair.
- 00:09:10,424 --> 00:09:12,050 You had sex in his chair?
- 00:09:16,889 --> 00:09:19,558 I said that a little too loudly, didn't I?
- 00:09:20,851 --> 00:09:22,936 You had what?
- 00:09:23,813 --> 00:09:25,814 Sex in his chair.
- 00:09:28,276 --> 00:09:29,609 What?
- 00:09:29,777 --> 00:09:31,194 What were you thinking?
- 00:09:31,362 --> 00:09:34,489 I don't know. I mean, we still care about each other.
- 00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:37,742 There's a history there. It's like you and Carol.
- 00:09:37,952 --> 00:09:39,953 No. No, no.
- 00:09:40,621 --> 00:09:42,706 It's nothing like me and Carol.
- 00:09:42,873 --> 00:09:46,918 Please. If she said to you, "Ross, I want you on this couch...
- 00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:49,379 ...right here, right now," what would you say?
- 00:09:51,757 --> 00:09:53,967 If it helps I could slide over.
- 00:09:56,304 --> 00:09:58,972 It's a totally different situation.
- 00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:02,559 It's apples and oranges. It's orthodontists and lesbians...
- 00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:04,269 I gotta go.
- 00:10:05,479 --> 00:10:07,814 - Where are you going? - I just have to go, all right?
- 00:10:07,982 --> 00:10:11,359 Do I need a reason, huh? I have things to do with my life.
- 00:10:11,527 --> 00:10:13,695 I have a jam-packed schedule.
- 00:10:13,863 --> 00:10:17,949 And I am late for keeping up with it, okay?
- 00:10:19,118 --> 00:10:20,410 [PHONE RINGING]
- 00:10:20,578 --> 00:10:22,912 Hello? Hello?
- 00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:26,708 [PHONE CONTINUES RINGING]
- 00:10:28,085 --> 00:10:29,794 Hello?
- 00:10:30,004 --> 00:10:33,006 Huh. Mindy.
- 00:10:33,215 --> 00:10:36,426 Hi. Hey, how are you?
- 00:10:36,594 --> 00:10:40,597 Yes, yes, I heard. Congratulations. That is so great.
- 00:10:40,765 --> 00:10:43,141 Really, oh, God...
- 00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:45,018 Okay.
- 00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:46,645 Okay, I'm working tomorrow...
- 00:10:46,812 --> 00:10:50,148 ...but if you want, you can come by if you'd like.
- 00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:51,858 Okay.
- 00:10:52,026 --> 00:10:55,487 Great.
- 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:56,863 All right.
- 00:10:57,031 --> 00:10:59,574 So I'll see you tomorrow.
- 00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:01,951 Okay. Bye.
- 00:11:03,371 --> 00:11:05,705 Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.
- 00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,292 So how's Mindy?
- 00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:12,754 Oh, she wants to see me tomorrow.
- 00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:15,799 Oh, she sounded really weird. I gotta call Barry.
- 00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:22,430 Hi, it's me. I just... Ha! Mindy.
- 00:11:23,891 --> 00:11:25,600 Mindy. Hi.
- 00:11:25,768 --> 00:11:27,352 No, I figured that's where you'd be.
- 00:11:38,406 --> 00:11:40,240 [MIMICKING PHONE]
- 00:11:43,619 --> 00:11:46,371 Hell is filled with people like you.
- 00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:51,209 He's back. The peeper's back.
- 00:11:52,378 --> 00:11:54,129 - Get down. - Get down?
- 00:11:54,505 --> 00:11:55,880 And boogie.
- 00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:01,344 Thanks, but I gotta go to work and get my eyes scratched out by Mindy.
- 00:12:01,512 --> 00:12:03,221 Relax. She may not even know.
- 00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:06,850 Please, I haven't heard from her in seven months, and now she calls me.
- 00:12:07,017 --> 00:12:09,102 I mean, what else is it about?
- 00:12:09,270 --> 00:12:11,312 She was my best friend, you guys.
- 00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:13,231 We went to camp together...
- 00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:16,651 ...she taught me how to kiss... - Yeah?
- 00:12:18,195 --> 00:12:21,197 Now, you know, I'm, like, the other woman.
- 00:12:21,365 --> 00:12:24,284 - Ugh, I feel so... - Naughty.
- 00:12:26,328 --> 00:12:28,788 - I'll see you guys later. - I'll walk out with you.
- 00:12:28,956 --> 00:12:31,458 When she taught you to kiss, you were at camp...
- 00:12:31,625 --> 00:12:34,753 ...and were you wearing any kind of little uniform or...?
- 00:12:36,630 --> 00:12:38,715 That's fine, yeah.
- 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:42,343 Okay, I'm gonna go the bathroom. Will you watch my phone?
- 00:12:42,511 --> 00:12:44,471 - Why don't you just take it with you? - Hey.
- 00:12:44,638 --> 00:12:47,682 We haven't been on a second date. She needs to hear me pee?
- 00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:49,517 Why don't you just call her?
- 00:12:49,685 --> 00:12:52,896 I can't call her. I left a message. I have some pride.
- 00:12:53,063 --> 00:12:54,898 - Do you? - No.
- 00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:02,947 Danielle, hi.
- 00:13:03,115 --> 00:13:05,158 Hi, it's Chandler.
- 00:13:05,326 --> 00:13:07,619 I'm fine. Ahem.
- 00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:09,370 Uh, listen...
- 00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:13,249 I don't know if you tried to call me because, uh, idiot that I am...
- 00:13:13,417 --> 00:13:16,044 ...I accidentally shut off my phone.
- 00:13:16,754 --> 00:13:22,425 Ahem. Oh, okay. That's fine. That's great. Okay.
- 00:13:23,093 --> 00:13:25,762 She's on the other line. She's gonna call me back.
- 00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:30,725 She's on the other line, gonna call me back.
- 00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:33,228 - Don't you have to pee? - That's why I'm dancing.
- 00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:40,819 - Mindy. - Hey, you.
- 00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:42,987 Hey, you.
- 00:13:46,951 --> 00:13:48,159 So, what's up?
- 00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:51,579 Um, we should really be sitting for this.
- 00:13:51,747 --> 00:13:53,039 Hmm.
- 00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:55,124 Sure we should.
- 00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:02,549 [SIGHS]
- 00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:07,303 - So... - Now, I know things have been weird lately.
- 00:14:07,471 --> 00:14:10,682 But you're my oldest friend, except for Laurie Schaefer...
- 00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:12,350 ...who I don't talk to anymore...
- 00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:15,103 ...because she's bitter that she lost the weight...
- 00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:17,772 ...and it turns out, she doesn't have a pretty face.
- 00:14:19,942 --> 00:14:23,236 Okay, I'm gonna just ask you this once, and I want a straight answer.
- 00:14:23,821 --> 00:14:24,946 Okay.
- 00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:26,364 [SIGHS]
- 00:14:26,991 --> 00:14:28,825 Will you be my maid of honor?
- 00:14:32,913 --> 00:14:34,873 - Of course! - Oh, that's so great!
- 00:14:35,749 --> 00:14:36,875 It is! It is!
- 00:14:37,042 --> 00:14:38,585 [BOTH SCREAMING]
- 00:14:38,752 --> 00:14:40,837 - Is that all you wanted to ask? - That's all.
- 00:14:41,005 --> 00:14:42,005 [BOTH SHOUTING]
- 00:14:43,507 --> 00:14:44,507 [CRYING]
- 00:14:44,675 --> 00:14:46,551 What? What?
- 00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:48,219 That's not all.
- 00:14:49,096 --> 00:14:52,557 - Oh, sure it is. - Oh, no, it isn't. No.
- 00:14:53,851 --> 00:14:56,227 I think Barry's seeing someone in the city.
- 00:14:57,771 --> 00:14:59,772 What would make you think that?
- 00:14:59,940 --> 00:15:02,984 Well, ever since we announced the engagement, he's acted weird.
- 00:15:03,152 --> 00:15:06,821 And then last night, he came home smelling like Chanel.
- 00:15:09,241 --> 00:15:10,700 Really?
- 00:15:12,244 --> 00:15:14,621 Mindy, if it'll make you feel any better...
- 00:15:14,788 --> 00:15:18,333 ...when Barry and I got engaged, he went through a weird thing too.
- 00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:20,835 Oh, God. You see, that's what I was afraid of.
- 00:15:21,003 --> 00:15:24,923 - What? What's what you were afraid of? - Okay, okay.
- 00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:29,928 When Barry was engaged to you, he and I...
- 00:15:30,095 --> 00:15:33,890 ...kind of had a little thing on the side.
- 00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:37,060 - What? - I know, I know.
- 00:15:37,227 --> 00:15:39,479 When he proposed to me, everyone said, "Don't do it.
- 00:15:39,730 --> 00:15:43,524 He's gonna do to you what he did to Rachel." And now I feel so stupid.
- 00:15:43,901 --> 00:15:45,443 Ha, ha.
- 00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:48,821 Hmm. Oh, Mindy.
- 00:15:48,989 --> 00:15:50,490 Oh, you are so stupid.
- 00:15:53,118 --> 00:15:55,119 Oh, we are both so stupid.
- 00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:56,663 What do you mean?
- 00:15:59,166 --> 00:16:01,709 - Smell familiar? MINDY: Oh, no.
- 00:16:01,877 --> 00:16:03,211 RACHEL: Mm-hm.
- 00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:05,380 Oh, I'm so sorry.
- 00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:08,341 Oh, no, me. I am so sorry.
- 00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:10,843 No, I am sorry. I'm sorry.
- 00:16:24,733 --> 00:16:26,401 Oh, my.
- 00:16:28,529 --> 00:16:30,989 Four letters, "circle or hoop."
- 00:16:31,156 --> 00:16:32,532 Ring, damn it, ring.
- 00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:34,242 Thanks.
- 00:16:37,246 --> 00:16:38,788 You know our phone's not working?
- 00:16:38,956 --> 00:16:40,456 What?
- 00:16:41,375 --> 00:16:44,419 I tried to call you from the coffee shop. There was no answer.
- 00:16:44,586 --> 00:16:46,212 I turned it off.
- 00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:48,965 Mother of God, I turned it off.
- 00:16:49,174 --> 00:16:50,633 Just like you told her you did.
- 00:16:52,761 --> 00:16:54,220 Just pointing out the irony.
- 00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:58,433 So listen, I went across the street and talked to the doorman.
- 00:16:58,809 --> 00:17:01,394 I got the peeper's name. Can I use the phone?
- 00:17:01,562 --> 00:17:03,187 [GRUNTS]
- 00:17:03,814 --> 00:17:05,481 Can I use your phone?
- 00:17:09,236 --> 00:17:11,904 Yeah, the number for a Sidney Marks, please.
- 00:17:12,281 --> 00:17:13,823 "Heating device."
- 00:17:14,992 --> 00:17:16,200 Radiator.
- 00:17:16,368 --> 00:17:17,994 Five letters.
- 00:17:18,162 --> 00:17:19,829 "Rdtor."
- 00:17:24,376 --> 00:17:26,627 Yeah, is Sidney there?
- 00:17:27,337 --> 00:17:28,880 Oh, this is?
- 00:17:29,173 --> 00:17:31,966 - Sidney's a woman. - So she's a woman, so what?
- 00:17:32,593 --> 00:17:34,469 Yeah, yeah, so what?
- 00:17:34,636 --> 00:17:36,345 Look, I live across the street...
- 00:17:36,513 --> 00:17:38,806 ...and I know all about you and your telescope.
- 00:17:39,183 --> 00:17:40,933 And I don't appreciate it, okay?
- 00:17:41,101 --> 00:17:43,895 Yeah, I can see you right now. Hello?
- 00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:47,190 Look, if I wanna walk around my apartment in my underwear...
- 00:17:47,357 --> 00:17:50,276 ...I shouldn't have to feel like... Thank you.
- 00:17:53,030 --> 00:17:55,073 That's not really the point.
- 00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:56,866 The point is, that...
- 00:17:57,034 --> 00:17:59,911 - Mostly free-weights, but occasionally... - Joey.
- 00:18:01,997 --> 00:18:04,665 Yeah, my neighbor. Yeah, the brunette.
- 00:18:06,168 --> 00:18:08,753 She said you looked pretty that day in the green dress.
- 00:18:10,130 --> 00:18:12,507 The green dress? Really?
- 00:18:12,674 --> 00:18:15,343 She said you looked like Ingrid Bergman that day.
- 00:18:15,719 --> 00:18:18,054 Heh. No.
- 00:18:20,808 --> 00:18:22,183 [KNOCKING ON DOOR]
- 00:18:23,227 --> 00:18:24,310 - Hey. - Hey.
- 00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:26,270 - You got a second? - Sure, sure.
- 00:18:26,438 --> 00:18:27,897 Come on...
- 00:18:28,065 --> 00:18:29,357 ...in.
- 00:18:29,525 --> 00:18:30,817 Hello, sweetheart.
- 00:18:31,693 --> 00:18:36,405 - What you guys doing here? - Uh, we are here to break up with you.
- 00:18:37,699 --> 00:18:38,908 Both of you?
- 00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:43,329 We think you're a horrible human being, and bad things should happen to you.
- 00:18:45,999 --> 00:18:48,126 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. God, I am so sorry.
- 00:18:48,377 --> 00:18:50,753 I'm an idiot. I was weak. I couldn't help myself.
- 00:18:50,921 --> 00:18:54,006 Whatever I did, I only did because I love you so much.
- 00:18:56,510 --> 00:18:58,761 Uh, which one of us are you talking to there, Bar?
- 00:18:59,346 --> 00:19:00,555 Um...
- 00:19:01,849 --> 00:19:02,932 Mindy.
- 00:19:03,267 --> 00:19:05,810 Mindy, of course, Mindy. It was always Mindy.
- 00:19:06,186 --> 00:19:08,479 Even when we were having sex in that chair?
- 00:19:08,897 --> 00:19:12,358 I swear, look, whatever I was doing, I was always thinking of you.
- 00:19:12,526 --> 00:19:14,402 Oh, please.
- 00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:17,947 During that second time, you couldn't have picked her out of a lineup.
- 00:19:18,115 --> 00:19:19,198 You did it twice?
- 00:19:19,533 --> 00:19:22,827 Well, the first time didn't really count. You know, it was Barry.
- 00:19:23,078 --> 00:19:24,704 Oh, right.
- 00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:26,831 Honey, baby, sweetheart, look...
- 00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:28,916 Just give me another chance, okay?
- 00:19:29,084 --> 00:19:32,128 We'll start all over again. We'll go back to Aruba.
- 00:19:34,047 --> 00:19:35,298 What do you say?
- 00:19:35,465 --> 00:19:38,426 BERNICE [OVER INTERCOM]: Dr. Farber, we've got an emergency here.
- 00:19:38,594 --> 00:19:41,220 Jason Castalano's choking on his retainer.
- 00:19:41,388 --> 00:19:44,265 Oh, God. Uh, I'll be right there, Bernice.
- 00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:46,726 Look, please, please don't go anywhere, okay?
- 00:19:46,894 --> 00:19:50,062 - I'll be right back. - Okay.
- 00:19:50,230 --> 00:19:53,232 Okay, and we'll be here, hating you.
- 00:19:54,443 --> 00:19:57,153 See how he was sweating when he walked out of here?
- 00:19:57,321 --> 00:19:59,697 If I'm hogging the ball, you jump right in there...
- 00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:03,576 ...and take a couple of punches. Because I'm telling you, this feels great.
- 00:20:03,744 --> 00:20:07,622 Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm still gonna marry him.
- 00:20:08,749 --> 00:20:10,917 What are you talking about?
- 00:20:11,084 --> 00:20:13,878 Mindy, the guy is the devil.
- 00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:16,214 He is Satan in a smock.
- 00:20:17,007 --> 00:20:18,883 Look, I know he's not perfect.
- 00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:20,384 [GRUNTS]
- 00:20:22,554 --> 00:20:24,972 But the truth is, at the end of the day...
- 00:20:25,140 --> 00:20:27,600 ...I still really wanna be...
- 00:20:27,768 --> 00:20:31,395 ...Mrs. Dr. Barry Farber...
- 00:20:31,563 --> 00:20:33,689 ...D.D.S.
- 00:20:34,358 --> 00:20:35,858 Oh, God.
- 00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:39,737 I hope you can find some way to be happy for me.
- 00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:42,365 And I hope you'll still be my maid of honor.
- 00:20:43,617 --> 00:20:46,702 And I hope Barry doesn't kill you and eat you in Aruba.
- 00:20:54,002 --> 00:20:55,503 You okay?
- 00:20:55,963 --> 00:20:57,296 Yeah.
- 00:20:58,090 --> 00:20:59,590 Really?
- 00:21:00,175 --> 00:21:01,592 Yeah.
- 00:21:01,969 --> 00:21:04,512 You know, ever since I ran out on Barry at the wedding...
- 00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:07,640 ...I have wondered whether I made the right choice.
- 00:21:07,808 --> 00:21:10,059 Oh. And now I know.
- 00:21:11,144 --> 00:21:12,853 MONICA: I'm so glad.
- 00:21:16,942 --> 00:21:18,776 Big day.
- 00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:30,621 All right, I'll give you this: Mr. Peanut is a better dresser.
- 00:21:30,789 --> 00:21:33,833 I mean, he's got the monocle, he's got the top hat...
- 00:21:34,001 --> 00:21:35,876 Did you know he's gay?
- 00:21:38,964 --> 00:21:43,092 I just wanna clarify this. Are you outing Mr. Peanut?
- 00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:47,054 - Chandler? - Danielle, hi.
- 00:21:47,222 --> 00:21:49,765 Everybody, this is Danielle. Danielle, everybody.
- 00:21:49,933 --> 00:21:51,142 GROUP: Hi.
- 00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:53,728 - What are you doing here? - I've been calling you...
- 00:21:53,895 --> 00:21:55,938 ...but it turns out I had your number wrong.
- 00:21:56,106 --> 00:21:59,442 And when I finally got the right one from Information, there was no answer.
- 00:21:59,609 --> 00:22:02,611 So I thought I'd just come down here and make sure you were okay.
- 00:22:02,779 --> 00:22:05,406 Oh, uh, I'm okay.
- 00:22:05,574 --> 00:22:08,117 Listen, uh, maybe we could get together later?
- 00:22:08,618 --> 00:22:11,620 That sounds good. I'll call you. Or you call me, whatever.
- 00:22:11,788 --> 00:22:12,955 - You know. - Ha, ha.
- 00:22:13,123 --> 00:22:14,498 - You got it. CHANDLER: Okay.
- 00:22:14,666 --> 00:22:16,584 - Bye, everybody. GROUP: Bye.
- 00:22:18,420 --> 00:22:20,046 Woo-hoo! Yeah, there you go.
- 00:22:20,213 --> 00:22:22,006 Second date.
- 00:22:22,174 --> 00:22:23,924 I don't know.
- 00:22:24,092 --> 00:22:25,301 RACHEL: You don't know?
- 00:22:25,469 --> 00:22:29,221 Oh, she seems nice, but that thing about her coming all the way here...
- 00:22:29,389 --> 00:22:32,808 ...just to see if I was okay? I mean, how needy is that?
- 00:22:32,976 --> 00:22:34,685 [ALL GROANING]
- 00:22:38,857 --> 00:22:40,858 [English - US - SDH]
- 00:00:03,460 --> 00:00:06,340 Я просто не верю своим ушам. Как можно такое говорить?
- 00:00:06,590 --> 00:00:09,970 Если уж кем и быть, то только мистером Арахисом, а не Кальмаром
- 00:00:10,220 --> 00:00:12,800 Да ты что! Мистер Кальмар - он же моряк
- 00:00:13,050 --> 00:00:17,390 Да он, типа... самая боевитая закуска к пиву в мире
- 00:00:17,390 --> 00:00:21,150 Ну не знаю. С арахисом тоже лучше не связываться
- 00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:24,520 Он - кр-репкий орешек!
- 00:00:25,150 --> 00:00:27,530 Боже мой, боже мой! Посмотрите туда
- 00:00:27,780 --> 00:00:32,240 Там какой-то маньяк с телескопом!
- 00:00:32,660 --> 00:00:35,240 Глазам не верю! Он смотрит прямо на нас!
- 00:00:35,490 --> 00:00:37,410 Вот блин, больной на голову!
- 00:00:37,660 --> 00:00:39,290 Меня как будто изнасиловали
- 00:00:39,540 --> 00:00:41,250 И не в хорошем смысле
- 00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:44,630 Как такое можно делать?
- 00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:50,050 Ребята, смотрите! Гадкий Голый Дядька купил ботинки на пружинах!
- 00:00:51,430 --> 00:00:54,430 Первый сезон, 20-я серия "Неправедный стоматолог"
- 00:01:41,850 --> 00:01:45,180 Говорю вам, через много лет дети в школе будут изучать...
- 00:01:45,430 --> 00:01:48,940 ...одно из лучших первых свиданий всех времен
- 00:01:49,190 --> 00:01:50,360 Было просто потрясающе
- 00:01:50,610 --> 00:01:53,690 Мы были сами собой. Никто не играл ни в какие игры
- 00:01:53,940 --> 00:01:54,740 Ты ей уже звонил?
- 00:01:54,990 --> 00:01:57,860 Чтобы дать понять, как она мне нравится? Ты сбрендила?
- 00:01:58,110 --> 00:01:59,370 Фу, мужики!
- 00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:02,160 На следующий день? Вы хотите, чтобы я выглядел просителем?
- 00:02:02,410 --> 00:02:03,740 Я прав. Прав?
- 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:07,120 Да, пусть она за тобой бегает
- 00:02:07,420 --> 00:02:09,920 Аж не верится, что мои родители давят на меня, требуя...
- 00:02:10,170 --> 00:02:11,750 ...найти себе одного из вас
- 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:14,550 О боже! Брось это. Не выпендривайся
- 00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:19,720 Позвони ей. Не будь таким куском мужского достоинства
- 00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:24,020 Кстати, в Сан-Франциско подают такое блюдо
- 00:02:27,980 --> 00:02:30,020 - Я попал на автомат. - Автоответчик?
- 00:02:30,270 --> 00:02:34,110 Нет! Что интересно, трубку поднял автомат Калашникова
- 00:02:36,110 --> 00:02:38,360 И почему ты ничего не сказал?
- 00:02:38,610 --> 00:02:41,280 Нет-нет. В прошлый раз я импровизировал...
- 00:02:41,530 --> 00:02:45,910 ...и закончил словами, "Где уж нам уж выйти замуж!"
- 00:02:46,660 --> 00:02:50,210 Смотрите, это Рэйчел и Барри. Не надо пялиться на них вместе
- 00:02:50,460 --> 00:02:51,960 Так! Что там у них?
- 00:02:52,210 --> 00:02:53,460 Они просто разговаривают
- 00:02:53,710 --> 00:02:55,250 Он расстроен?
- 00:02:55,500 --> 00:02:59,590 Он выглядит так, вроде ему сказали сто раз отжаться?
- 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:02,550 Да нет. Вообще-то улыбается
- 00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:04,890 Боже мой! Не смей этого делать!
- 00:03:05,140 --> 00:03:06,060 Что? Что? Что?
- 00:03:06,310 --> 00:03:10,940 Мужик на той стороне улицы пнул ногой голубя
- 00:03:12,190 --> 00:03:18,860 В общем, примерно так законопроект становится законом
- 00:03:18,940 --> 00:03:19,860 Поняли?
- 00:03:20,110 --> 00:03:22,320 Привет, Рэйч
- 00:03:22,570 --> 00:03:24,030 Как прошла встреча?
- 00:03:24,280 --> 00:03:28,160 Знаете, вообще-то было неплохо
- 00:03:28,410 --> 00:03:30,290 Мы пообедали в "Русской чайной"
- 00:03:30,540 --> 00:03:33,750 Я ела такое блюдо из курицы - если ткнуть вилкой, брызгает масло
- 00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:36,000 Да, паршивый сегодня день у птиц
- 00:03:36,250 --> 00:03:38,010 Потом мы зашли в пару магазинов
- 00:03:38,260 --> 00:03:42,510 И хотя я упиралась, он купил мне флакончик "Шанель"
- 00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:43,720 Как мило
- 00:03:43,970 --> 00:03:46,470 А скажи, это до того или после ты сказала ему...
- 00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:51,350 ...больше не звонить, не посылать цветы и оставить тебя в покое?
- 00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:52,400 Ну да
- 00:03:52,650 --> 00:03:55,440 Вообще-то до этого дело не дошло
- 00:03:55,690 --> 00:03:58,610 Просто было приятно снова его увидеть, понимаете?
- 00:03:58,860 --> 00:04:02,570 Было так спокойно, всё по-старому
- 00:04:02,820 --> 00:04:04,280 Было просто славно
- 00:04:04,530 --> 00:04:07,870 Славно, как недавно!
- 00:04:07,870 --> 00:04:08,950 Рэйчел, что с тобой?
- 00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:11,870 Разве это не тот Барри, которого ты бросила у алтаря?
- 00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:15,130 А куда, кстати, ты пошла?
- 00:04:15,580 --> 00:04:17,500 Но сегодня с ним все было по-другому
- 00:04:17,750 --> 00:04:20,510 Он был не такой, знаете ли, весь из себя стоматолог
- 00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:26,050 Нам было хорошо вместе! Разве это плохо?
- 00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:28,470 Почему?
- 00:04:28,720 --> 00:04:32,060 У меня свои причины так говорить
- 00:04:33,020 --> 00:04:35,980 А как насчет того, что он обручен с другой женщиной...
- 00:04:36,230 --> 00:04:38,860 ...к тому же твоей бывшей лучшей подругой?
- 00:04:39,110 --> 00:04:41,360 Ладно, ладно! Сама знаю, что это глупо
- 00:04:41,610 --> 00:04:46,410 Я пойду к нему после обеда и положу этому конец
- 00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:55,750 Я же не сошла с ума, а? По-моему, так хорошо еще не было
- 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:59,380 Нет, не было!
- 00:05:01,630 --> 00:05:06,050 Эта маленькая раковинка так удобно тут стоит
- 00:05:09,140 --> 00:05:13,770 "О, Даниэла, не ожидал попасть на автоответчик."
- 00:05:14,270 --> 00:05:18,360 "Позвони мне, когда у тебя будет время."
- 00:05:19,610 --> 00:05:21,440 Пока
- 00:05:21,690 --> 00:05:24,400 О боже!
- 00:05:24,990 --> 00:05:28,700 Ты ЭТО репетировал последние два часа?
- 00:05:28,950 --> 00:05:31,370 Меня бил мандраж
- 00:05:31,620 --> 00:05:32,750 А зачем гремел посудой?
- 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:36,000 Пусть она подумает, что я где-нибудь в ресторане...
- 00:05:36,250 --> 00:05:40,340 ...что у меня есть своя жизнь. Что я не сижу здесь...
- 00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:42,840 ...в мандраже последние два часа, понимаешь?
- 00:05:43,090 --> 00:05:45,300 Смотрите, тот тип с телескопом опять на нас смотрит!
- 00:05:45,550 --> 00:05:48,800 Боже мой!
- 00:05:49,010 --> 00:05:52,810 Пошел прочь! Не смотри сюда!
- 00:05:53,060 --> 00:05:56,940 Ну вот. Теперь он машет в ответ
- 00:05:56,940 --> 00:05:58,560 Надо что-то с ним делать
- 00:05:58,810 --> 00:06:01,070 Утром я застал его за подглядыванием в нашу квартиру
- 00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:04,570 Меня это пугает! Мне неловко делать разные вещи
- 00:06:04,820 --> 00:06:08,200 Какие еще вещи?
- 00:06:08,780 --> 00:06:11,620 Ты как маленькая! Я не говорю о чем-то сексуальном...
- 00:06:11,870 --> 00:06:16,040 ...а, например, когда я готовлю еду в голом виде
- 00:06:16,830 --> 00:06:18,040 Ты готовишь в голом виде?
- 00:06:18,290 --> 00:06:23,210 Ну да - тосты, овсянку. То, что не брызгает маслом
- 00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:29,260 Чего вы на меня смотрите? Я сам не знал
- 00:06:30,050 --> 00:06:31,930 В чем дело?
- 00:06:32,180 --> 00:06:34,770 Я просто... Барри, это было ужасно
- 00:06:35,020 --> 00:06:38,390 Неправда. Это было очень хорошо
- 00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:39,810 А как же Минди?
- 00:06:40,060 --> 00:06:43,270 О, намного лучше, чем с Минди
- 00:06:43,980 --> 00:06:47,110 Я не о том! А как же вы с Минди?
- 00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:51,820 А... Если хочешь, я сейчас же с ней расстанусь
- 00:06:51,990 --> 00:06:54,410 Нет, не надо. Только не ради меня
- 00:06:54,660 --> 00:06:58,160 Доктор Фарбер, Бобби Раш пришел на исправление прикуса
- 00:06:58,410 --> 00:07:00,460 Спасибо, Бернис
- 00:07:00,710 --> 00:07:03,340 Давай уедем на выходные
- 00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:05,170 Барри, не надо. Это уже слишком...
- 00:07:05,420 --> 00:07:07,510 Мы можем поехать на Арубу
- 00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:10,840 Когда я ездил туда на наш неудавшийся медовый месяц...
- 00:07:11,090 --> 00:07:15,600 ...там было очень хорошо. Тебе бы понравилось
- 00:07:16,390 --> 00:07:19,520 На мне был лифчик
- 00:07:29,820 --> 00:07:30,740 Здрасьте, доктор Фарбер
- 00:07:30,990 --> 00:07:34,830 Так, мисс Грин, вроде все в порядке
- 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:39,290 Наконец-то у нас там все налаживается
- 00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:42,210 Что?
- 00:07:42,460 --> 00:07:46,210 Мне двенадцать лет, но я не дебил
- 00:07:54,970 --> 00:07:57,010 Можно позвонить по твоему телефону?
- 00:07:57,260 --> 00:07:59,850 На будущее знай: ту штуку у тебя в руке...
- 00:08:00,100 --> 00:08:03,520 ...тоже можно использовать в качестве телефона
- 00:08:06,020 --> 00:08:08,900 Да, он работает
- 00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:11,400 Почему же она не звонит?
- 00:08:11,650 --> 00:08:13,110 Может, еще не получила твое сообщение
- 00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:16,740 Можно позвонить ей на автоответчик, и если там много гудков...
- 00:08:16,990 --> 00:08:19,750 ...значит, она еще не прочитала сообщения
- 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,370 А от этого я не кажусь вам...?
- 00:08:21,620 --> 00:08:24,460 Отчаявшимся? Жалким? Суетливым?
- 00:08:24,710 --> 00:08:28,750 Ты, наверное, читал мое резюме
- 00:08:30,300 --> 00:08:31,090 Сколько гудков?
- 00:08:31,340 --> 00:08:34,390 Она ответила
- 00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:38,600 В этот момент говорят "алло", как я тебя раньше учила
- 00:08:38,850 --> 00:08:41,390 Я не буду с ней разговаривать. Она явно слышала мое сообщение...
- 00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:46,230 ...и решила сама мне не звонить. Вот теперь я жалкий и оплеванный.
- 00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:50,230 Как хочется опять стать просто жалким!
- 00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:52,990 Ну, как всё прошло?
- 00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:57,120 Вообще-то довольно неплохо
- 00:08:58,530 --> 00:09:02,710 Рэйчел, откуда у тебя в волосах зубная нить?
- 00:09:02,960 --> 00:09:05,920 - О, правда? - Ага.
- 00:09:07,170 --> 00:09:09,960 Кончилось все это сексом в его кресле
- 00:09:10,210 --> 00:09:13,380 Вы трахались в его кресле?
- 00:09:16,680 --> 00:09:20,430 Я немножко громковато это сказала, да?
- 00:09:20,680 --> 00:09:23,350 Что вы делали?
- 00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:27,100 Трахались в его кресле
- 00:09:28,060 --> 00:09:29,360 Что...
- 00:09:29,610 --> 00:09:30,980 Чем ты думала?
- 00:09:31,230 --> 00:09:34,610 Я не знаю. Мы до сих пор друг другу небезразличны
- 00:09:34,860 --> 00:09:39,080 У нас есть прошлое. Как у тебя с Кэрол
- 00:09:40,410 --> 00:09:42,450 Здесь нет ничего общего со мной и Кэрол
- 00:09:42,700 --> 00:09:46,710 Я тебя прошу! Если она скажет тебе "Росс, я хочу тебя на диване...
- 00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:50,710 ...прямо здесь и сейчас", что ты ответишь?
- 00:09:51,550 --> 00:09:55,300 Если я мешаю, могу подвинуться
- 00:09:56,090 --> 00:09:58,720 Нет, это совершенно другая ситуация
- 00:09:58,970 --> 00:10:02,220 Тут одно, а там другое. Тут дантисты, а там лесбиянки...
- 00:10:02,470 --> 00:10:04,850 Мне пора идти
- 00:10:05,270 --> 00:10:07,480 - Куда ты? - Мне просто надо идти!
- 00:10:07,730 --> 00:10:11,020 Я должен оправдываться? У меня в жизни много всяких дел
- 00:10:11,270 --> 00:10:13,530 У меня очень плотное расписание
- 00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:18,860 И я уже опаздываю по всем пунктам, понятно?
- 00:10:31,340 --> 00:10:33,880 Минди!
- 00:10:34,210 --> 00:10:36,090 Привет, как дела?
- 00:10:36,340 --> 00:10:40,300 Д, я слышала. Поздравляю! Это так здорово!
- 00:10:40,550 --> 00:10:44,100 Правда, ой, боже мой...
- 00:10:45,060 --> 00:10:46,390 Я завтра работаю...
- 00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:51,610 ...но если хочешь, можешь зайти, если хочешь
- 00:10:51,810 --> 00:10:54,530 Отлично!.. Отлично!..
- 00:10:56,820 --> 00:11:00,200 Тогда... увидимся завтра
- 00:11:00,450 --> 00:11:02,910 Пока
- 00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:06,410 О боже! О боже! О боже! О боже!
- 00:11:07,460 --> 00:11:10,620 И как там Минди?
- 00:11:10,710 --> 00:11:12,420 Она хочет завтра увидеться
- 00:11:12,670 --> 00:11:16,300 У нее был странный голос. Мне надо позвонить Барри.
- 00:11:19,550 --> 00:11:21,140 Привет, это я. Мне надо...
- 00:11:21,390 --> 00:11:23,430 Минди!
- 00:11:23,680 --> 00:11:25,220 Минди, привет!
- 00:11:25,470 --> 00:11:28,680 Нет, я угадала, где ты можешь быть
- 00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:48,160 Именно такими людьми... и населен ад
- 00:11:49,660 --> 00:11:52,380 Он опять. Он опять подглядывает
- 00:11:52,630 --> 00:11:54,630 - Ложись! - Ложись?
- 00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:57,590 И шире ноги
- 00:11:58,050 --> 00:12:01,590 Спасибо, но мне пора. Минди придет выцарапывать мне глаза
- 00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:03,470 Успокойся. Может, она и не знает
- 00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:07,100 Она молчала семь месяцев, а теперь вдруг звонит мне
- 00:12:07,350 --> 00:12:09,270 Что еще это может быть?
- 00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:11,400 Она была моей лучшей подругой, ребята
- 00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:11,520 Мы вместе ездили в лагерь... Она была моей лучшей подругой, ребята
- 00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:13,070 Мы вместе ездили в лагерь...
- 00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:16,740 ...и она учила меня целоваться...
- 00:12:18,160 --> 00:12:21,030 А теперь я, понимаете, как будто другая женщина!
- 00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:22,490 Я чувствую себя такой...
- 00:12:22,740 --> 00:12:25,710 Развратной!
- 00:12:26,210 --> 00:12:28,790 - Всем пока. - Я с тобой пройдусь.
- 00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:31,170 Рэйч, когда она учила тебя целоваться, там, в лагере...
- 00:12:31,420 --> 00:12:36,130 ...на вас была форма с коротенькими юбочками или...?
- 00:12:36,510 --> 00:12:39,680 Ладно, понял
- 00:12:39,680 --> 00:12:42,220 Я иду в туалет. Возьмешь трубку, если что?
- 00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:44,310 Так взял бы телефон с собой!
- 00:12:44,560 --> 00:12:47,600 Мы виделись всего один раз. Хочешь, чтобы она слышала, как я писаю?
- 00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:49,400 Почему ты ей просто не позвонишь?
- 00:12:49,650 --> 00:12:52,730 Я не могу ей звонить. Я оставил сообщение. У меня есть гордость
- 00:12:52,980 --> 00:12:55,440 - Правда? - Нет!
- 00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:02,780 Даниэла, привет!
- 00:13:03,030 --> 00:13:05,080 Это Чендлер
- 00:13:05,330 --> 00:13:08,250 У меня все хорошо
- 00:13:08,410 --> 00:13:09,210 Послушай...
- 00:13:09,460 --> 00:13:13,130 Не знаю, звонила ли ты мне, потому что, будучи полным идиотом...
- 00:13:13,380 --> 00:13:17,220 ...я случайно выключил телефон
- 00:13:19,090 --> 00:13:22,720 Хорошо. Отлично. Ну всё
- 00:13:22,970 --> 00:13:26,470 Она на другой линии, она мне перезвонит.
- 00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:30,650 Она на другой линии, она мне перезвонит!
- 00:13:30,900 --> 00:13:34,650 - Ты вроде хотел в туалет? - Потому я и танцую.
- 00:13:38,530 --> 00:13:39,490 Минди
- 00:13:39,740 --> 00:13:41,160 Здорово, подруга
- 00:13:41,410 --> 00:13:43,780 Здорово, подруга
- 00:13:46,830 --> 00:13:49,290 Так что случилось?
- 00:13:49,540 --> 00:13:53,000 Для этого разговора нам нужно сесть
- 00:13:53,250 --> 00:13:56,250 Конечно, нужно сесть
- 00:14:03,430 --> 00:14:04,260 Итак...
- 00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:07,140 В последнее время между нами происходило много всякого
- 00:14:07,390 --> 00:14:10,440 Но ты - моя самая старая подруга, не считая Лори Шефер...
- 00:14:10,690 --> 00:14:12,020 ...с которой мы больше не разговариваем...
- 00:14:12,270 --> 00:14:14,770 ...потому что ее зло берет, что после похудения...
- 00:14:15,020 --> 00:14:18,900 ...от ее красоты на лице ничего не осталось
- 00:14:19,820 --> 00:14:24,660 Я спрошу тебя один раз, и мне нужен прямой честный ответ
- 00:14:26,870 --> 00:14:30,200 Ты будешь моей свидетельницей?
- 00:14:32,790 --> 00:14:33,670 Конечно!
- 00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:35,380 Ой, как здорово!
- 00:14:35,630 --> 00:14:37,880 Ой, как здорово!
- 00:14:38,130 --> 00:14:41,880 - И это всё, что ты хотела? - Это всё!
- 00:14:44,510 --> 00:14:46,260 Что?
- 00:14:46,510 --> 00:14:48,890 Нет, это еще не все
- 00:14:48,970 --> 00:14:49,930 Нет-нет, всё!
- 00:14:50,180 --> 00:14:53,560 Нет-нет, не всё!
- 00:14:53,730 --> 00:14:57,650 Я думаю, Барри встречается с кем-то в городе
- 00:14:57,860 --> 00:14:59,730 У тебя есть какие-то причины так думать?
- 00:14:59,980 --> 00:15:02,900 С тех пор, как мы объявили о помолвке, он ведет себя странно
- 00:15:03,150 --> 00:15:08,240 А вчера вечером от него вовсю несло духами "Шанель"!
- 00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:11,500 Правда?
- 00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:14,540 Минди, если тебе от этого полегчает...
- 00:15:14,790 --> 00:15:18,170 ...когда мы с Барри обручились, с ним тоже творилось что-то странное
- 00:15:18,420 --> 00:15:20,670 О боже! Вот этого я и боялась
- 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:24,800 Чего именно ты боялась?
- 00:15:25,050 --> 00:15:29,720 Когда Барри был обручен с тобой, мы с ним...
- 00:15:29,970 --> 00:15:34,440 ...немножко развлекались на стороне
- 00:15:34,690 --> 00:15:35,480 Что?
- 00:15:35,730 --> 00:15:36,850 Я знаю, знаю
- 00:15:37,110 --> 00:15:39,360 Когда он сделал мне предложение, все говорили: "Не надо."
- 00:15:39,610 --> 00:15:41,400 "Он поступит с тобой так же, как поступил с Рэйчел."
- 00:15:41,650 --> 00:15:44,950 И теперь я чувствую себя такой дурой
- 00:15:48,990 --> 00:15:51,910 Да, Минди, ты и есть дура
- 00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:55,000 Мы обе - такие дуры
- 00:15:55,250 --> 00:15:58,000 Ты о чем?
- 00:15:59,090 --> 00:16:01,960 Знакомый запах?
- 00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:05,590 Прости меня
- 00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:08,180 Нет, нет. Это ты меня прости
- 00:16:08,430 --> 00:16:12,020 Нет, ты меня прости. Прости меня!
- 00:16:24,610 --> 00:16:27,610 Ой-ой-ой!
- 00:16:28,410 --> 00:16:30,870 Пять букв, "вопросительное слово"
- 00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:32,370 Когда, блин, когда!
- 00:16:32,620 --> 00:16:35,540 Спасибо
- 00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:38,670 Вы знаете, что наш телефон не работает?
- 00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:41,000 Что?
- 00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:42,960 Я только что звонил из кафе
- 00:16:43,210 --> 00:16:46,050 - Никто не отвечал. - Я его выключил.
- 00:16:46,300 --> 00:16:48,890 Матерь божья, я его выключил!
- 00:16:49,140 --> 00:16:52,060 Точно так, как ты сам ей сказал
- 00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:55,310 Я только подчеркиваю иронию судьбы
- 00:16:55,560 --> 00:16:58,440 Я пошел в дом напротив и поговорил с консьержкой
- 00:16:58,690 --> 00:17:02,820 И узнал имя подглядывателя. Можно мне позвонить?
- 00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:06,490 Можно позвонить по твоему телефону?
- 00:17:09,110 --> 00:17:11,910 Номер Сидни Маркса, пожалуйста
- 00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:14,620 "Отопительный прибор"
- 00:17:14,870 --> 00:17:15,950 Радиатор
- 00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:17,750 Пять букв
- 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:21,000 Рдтор
- 00:17:24,250 --> 00:17:26,970 Алло, а Сидни можно?
- 00:17:27,220 --> 00:17:28,800 А, это вы?
- 00:17:29,050 --> 00:17:29,970 Сидни - женщина
- 00:17:30,220 --> 00:17:32,220 Ну женщина, так что?
- 00:17:32,470 --> 00:17:34,390 Да, так что?
- 00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:38,810 Я живу напротив через улицу и всё знаю про ваш телескоп
- 00:17:39,060 --> 00:17:40,810 И мне это не нравится, поняли?
- 00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:43,980 Да, я вас сейчас вижу. Привет!
- 00:17:44,230 --> 00:17:47,110 Когда я хожу по квартире в одних трусах...
- 00:17:47,360 --> 00:17:49,030 ...мне не хочется, чтобы...
- 00:17:49,280 --> 00:17:51,700 Спасибо
- 00:17:52,990 --> 00:17:54,830 Но дело не в этом
- 00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:56,620 Дело в том, что...
- 00:17:56,870 --> 00:18:01,040 В основном с гантелями, но иногда...
- 00:18:01,870 --> 00:18:05,800 Да, моя соседка. Да, брюнетка
- 00:18:06,050 --> 00:18:09,760 Она сказала, что ты была очень хорошенькая в том зеленом платье
- 00:18:10,010 --> 00:18:11,300 В зеленом платье?
- 00:18:11,550 --> 00:18:12,340 Правда?
- 00:18:12,590 --> 00:18:16,180 Она сказала, что ты была похожа на Ингрид Бергман
- 00:18:24,310 --> 00:18:26,150 - Есть минутка? - Да, конечно.
- 00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:27,780 Заходи...
- 00:18:28,030 --> 00:18:28,820 ...те
- 00:18:29,070 --> 00:18:31,320 Привет, наша радость
- 00:18:31,570 --> 00:18:33,320 Что вы здесь делаете?
- 00:18:33,570 --> 00:18:37,330 Мы пришли сюда, чтобы бросить тебя
- 00:18:37,580 --> 00:18:38,870 Что, обе?
- 00:18:39,120 --> 00:18:44,750 Мы думаем, что ты ужасный человек, и тебе суждено гореть в аду
- 00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:48,000 Простите меня. Ради бога, простите!
- 00:18:48,250 --> 00:18:50,630 Я идиот! Это была слабость! Я ничего не мог с собой поделать
- 00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:55,430 Все, что я делал, я делал только из любви к тебе
- 00:18:56,390 --> 00:19:00,220 С кем из нас ты сейчас разговариваешь?
- 00:19:01,730 --> 00:19:02,850 С Минди
- 00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:05,810 Конечно, с Минди! Для меня всегда была только Минди
- 00:19:06,060 --> 00:19:08,610 Даже когда мы трахались в твоем кресле?
- 00:19:08,860 --> 00:19:12,200 Клянусь, что бы у нас ни было, я всегда думал о тебе
- 00:19:12,450 --> 00:19:14,200 Я тебя прошу!
- 00:19:14,450 --> 00:19:17,870 Во время того второго раза ты бы, небось, и в лицо ее не узнал!
- 00:19:18,120 --> 00:19:19,990 У вас это было два раза?
- 00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:22,710 Первый раз не считается. Сама знаешь - это же Барри
- 00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:24,790 А, ну да
- 00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:26,670 Лапочка, солнышко, зайчик, послушай...
- 00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:28,750 Дай мне еще один шанс, хорошо?
- 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:33,550 Мы начнем все сначала. Мы опять поедем на Арубу
- 00:19:33,930 --> 00:19:35,260 Что ты на это скажешь?
- 00:19:35,510 --> 00:19:38,180 Доктор Фарбер, у нас тут срочное дело
- 00:19:38,430 --> 00:19:41,100 Джейсон Кастелано подавился ретейнером
- 00:19:41,350 --> 00:19:44,100 О боже! Я сейчас, Бернис
- 00:19:44,350 --> 00:19:46,440 Никуда не уходите, хорошо?
- 00:19:46,690 --> 00:19:50,110 Я сейчас вернусь
- 00:19:50,190 --> 00:19:53,740 Давай! А мы пока тут на тебя позлимся!
- 00:19:53,990 --> 00:19:57,030 Видела, какой он был потный, когда выходил?
- 00:19:57,280 --> 00:20:00,540 Я не слишком пережимаю? Если что, то включайся и ты...
- 00:20:00,790 --> 00:20:04,620 ...и отвесь ему пару пинков. Это так приятно!
- 00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:08,380 Ага. Но я все-таки решила, что выйду за него замуж
- 00:20:08,630 --> 00:20:10,800 Что ты такое говоришь?
- 00:20:11,050 --> 00:20:13,800 Минди, этот мужчина насквозь испорчен!
- 00:20:14,050 --> 00:20:16,630 Да он сам Сатана в белом халате!
- 00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:20,310 Слушай, я знаю, что он не идеал
- 00:20:22,430 --> 00:20:24,810 Но, честно говоря, в конце дня...
- 00:20:25,060 --> 00:20:27,400 ...я все-таки хочу быть...
- 00:20:27,650 --> 00:20:31,360 ...миссис доктор Барри Фарбер...
- 00:20:31,610 --> 00:20:33,990 ...стоматология и ортодонтия
- 00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:35,990 О боже!
- 00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:39,570 Я надеюсь, ты все-таки сможешь быть за меня счастливой
- 00:20:39,820 --> 00:20:43,240 И я надеюсь, что ты все-таки будешь моей свидетельницей
- 00:20:43,490 --> 00:20:48,080 А я надеюсь, что Барри тебя не убьет и не съест на Арубе
- 00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:56,840 Ты как, нормально?
- 00:20:57,970 --> 00:21:00,800 Правда?
- 00:21:01,850 --> 00:21:04,390 С тех пор, как я сбежала от Барри на свадьбе...
- 00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:08,140 ...я все думала, правильно ли я поступила
- 00:21:08,390 --> 00:21:10,770 И теперь я знаю
- 00:21:11,020 --> 00:21:14,150 Я так рада
- 00:21:16,820 --> 00:21:19,990 День удался
- 00:21:27,290 --> 00:21:30,670 Так, а что ты скажешь на это: мистер Арахис лучше одевается.
- 00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:33,840 У него тебе и монокль, и модная шляпа...
- 00:21:34,090 --> 00:21:37,300 А ты знал, что он голубой?
- 00:21:39,130 --> 00:21:44,600 Я хочу прояснить ситуацию. Ты что, дискредитируешь мистера Арахиса?
- 00:21:45,770 --> 00:21:47,180 Даниэла, привет!
- 00:21:47,430 --> 00:21:51,270 Все, это Даниэла. Даниэла, это все
- 00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:52,520 А как ты здесь оказалась?
- 00:21:52,770 --> 00:21:55,900 Я тебе названивала, но похоже, неправильно записала номер
- 00:21:56,150 --> 00:21:59,360 А когда я узнала номер по справочной, никто не отвечал
- 00:21:59,610 --> 00:22:04,330 И я вот подумала придти сюда и проверить, все ли в порядке
- 00:22:04,410 --> 00:22:05,410 Да, все нормально
- 00:22:05,660 --> 00:22:08,540 Слушай, тогда, может, встретимся еще?
- 00:22:08,790 --> 00:22:13,330 Отлично. Я тебе позвоню. Или ты позвони, неважно
- 00:22:13,330 --> 00:22:14,540 Договорились!
- 00:22:14,790 --> 00:22:17,210 Всем пока
- 00:22:19,300 --> 00:22:20,170 Вот видишь
- 00:22:20,430 --> 00:22:22,180 Грядет второе свидание!
- 00:22:22,430 --> 00:22:24,100 Ну не знаю
- 00:22:24,350 --> 00:22:25,430 Ты не знаешь?
- 00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:29,270 Она ничего, но каково это: придти аж сюда проверить...
- 00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:34,520 ...все ли у меня в порядке? Это же как-то унизительно!
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