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The One with the Boobies
Сезон: 01Серия: 13
Описание
Джои принимает у себя отца и узнает, что у того роман на стороне; он разрывается между желанием рассказать матери и нежеланием рассказывать, но вскоре понимает, что она уже в курсе и хочет, чтобы все осталось как есть. Чендлер случайно видит Рэйчел топлесс после душа, и начинается цепная реакция обнажения, когда она пытается отомстить, увидев его голым. Вместо этого она застает Джои голым, который затем видит Монику без одежды, которая случайно застает отца Джои в душе. Всем не нравится новый парень Фиби, раздражающий психиатр по имени Роджер (Фишер Стивенс), который делает неприятно точные оценки компании.
Субтитры
- 00:00:15,098 --> 00:00:17,182 [BOTH YELL]
- 00:00:17,475 --> 00:00:19,560 CHANDLER: I'm sorry. RACHEL: Oh, my God. That's it.
- 00:00:19,769 --> 00:00:22,021 You just barge in here and you don't knock?
- 00:00:22,230 --> 00:00:24,106 You have no respect for anybody's privacy.
- 00:00:24,315 --> 00:00:25,899 - Rachel, wait. - No, you wait.
- 00:00:26,109 --> 00:00:28,610 - Can I just say one thing? - What? What?
- 00:00:28,778 --> 00:00:32,072 That's a relatively open weave and I can still see your...
- 00:00:32,782 --> 00:00:35,242 ...nippular area. - Ugh!
- 00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:31,507 Honey, honey, tell them the story about your patient...
- 00:01:31,674 --> 00:01:33,467 ...who thinks things are other things.
- 00:01:33,635 --> 00:01:35,260 You know?
- 00:01:35,595 --> 00:01:38,514 Like when the phone rings and she takes a shower...
- 00:01:40,308 --> 00:01:42,017 That's pretty much it.
- 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,813 But you tell it really well, sweetie.
- 00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:48,190 Thanks. Okay.
- 00:01:48,358 --> 00:01:50,984 Now go away so we can talk about you.
- 00:01:51,486 --> 00:01:52,903 Okay. I'll miss you.
- 00:01:55,031 --> 00:01:56,115 Isn't he great?
- 00:01:56,282 --> 00:01:58,617 He's so cute. And he likes you so much.
- 00:01:58,827 --> 00:01:59,868 I know. I know.
- 00:02:00,036 --> 00:02:02,996 He's so sweet. And so complicated, you know?
- 00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:06,625 And for a shrink, he's not too "shrinky." You know?
- 00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:08,752 So you think you'll do it on his couch?
- 00:02:09,003 --> 00:02:11,755 Oh. I don't know. That's a little weird.
- 00:02:12,006 --> 00:02:13,382 It's vinyl.
- 00:02:16,553 --> 00:02:19,346 - Okay. You guys want anything else? - Oh, yes.
- 00:02:19,597 --> 00:02:21,098 - Could I have...? - Sorry, we're all out.
- 00:02:21,307 --> 00:02:22,599 - Anybody else? - Okay.
- 00:02:23,643 --> 00:02:25,394 Did I, uh, miss something?
- 00:02:25,603 --> 00:02:28,814 No, she's still upset because I saw her boobies.
- 00:02:29,607 --> 00:02:32,568 What were you doing seeing her boobies?
- 00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:33,861 It was an accident.
- 00:02:34,028 --> 00:02:36,864 I wasn't across the street with a telescope and a box of doughnuts.
- 00:02:37,031 --> 00:02:38,323 [ROGER LAUGHS]
- 00:02:38,491 --> 00:02:40,492 Can we change the subject, please?
- 00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:44,872 Because, hello? These aren't her "boobies." These are her breasts.
- 00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:49,501 Pheebs, I was hoping for more of a change.
- 00:02:50,461 --> 00:02:54,089 I don't know why you're embarrassed. They were very nice boobies.
- 00:02:55,383 --> 00:02:56,550 "Nice"?
- 00:02:56,968 --> 00:02:58,051 They were "nice"?
- 00:02:58,303 --> 00:03:01,054 That's it? I mean, mittens are "nice."
- 00:03:02,891 --> 00:03:05,517 Okay. Rock, hard place...
- 00:03:05,727 --> 00:03:07,144 ...me.
- 00:03:08,313 --> 00:03:10,355 [ROGER LAUGHING]
- 00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:13,483 You're so funny.
- 00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:16,778 He's really funny.
- 00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:20,908 I wouldn't want to be there when the laughter stops.
- 00:03:21,659 --> 00:03:23,118 Whoa, whoa. Back up there, sparky.
- 00:03:25,413 --> 00:03:26,663 What did you mean by that?
- 00:03:27,582 --> 00:03:30,792 It seems that maybe you have intimacy issues...
- 00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:34,838 ...that you use your humor to keep people at a distance.
- 00:03:35,965 --> 00:03:37,132 Huh.
- 00:03:37,383 --> 00:03:40,219 I mean, hey, I just met you. I don't know you from Adam.
- 00:03:41,971 --> 00:03:43,138 Only child, right?
- 00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:46,850 Parents divorced before you hit puberty.
- 00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:50,562 Uh-huh. How did you know?
- 00:03:51,272 --> 00:03:52,397 It's textbook.
- 00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:56,693 Hey, you guys.
- 00:03:56,945 --> 00:03:58,487 You all know my dad, right?
- 00:03:59,197 --> 00:04:01,406 - How long are you in the city? - A couple of days.
- 00:04:01,616 --> 00:04:02,699 I got a job midtown.
- 00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:04,785 I figure I'm better off staying with the kid...
- 00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:07,663 ...than hauling my ass back and forth on the ferry.
- 00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:09,039 I don't know this one.
- 00:04:09,207 --> 00:04:11,375 - Oh. This is my friend Roger. - Hi.
- 00:04:11,584 --> 00:04:13,210 - Good to meet you. ROGER: You too.
- 00:04:13,461 --> 00:04:16,255 What happened to the, uh, puppet guy?
- 00:04:16,464 --> 00:04:18,715 - Dad, uh... - Oh, oh.
- 00:04:18,883 --> 00:04:19,967 Excuse me.
- 00:04:20,176 --> 00:04:21,843 So, Ross, uh, how's the wife?
- 00:04:22,011 --> 00:04:23,720 [ROSS GROANS]
- 00:04:24,639 --> 00:04:26,431 Oh for two, huh? Heh.
- 00:04:26,599 --> 00:04:29,142 Uh, Chandler, quick, say something funny.
- 00:04:38,403 --> 00:04:41,029 Gotta go. Ha, ha. I miss you too.
- 00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,365 I love you, but it's getting late now...
- 00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:45,242 Let me say hi. Hey, Ma.
- 00:04:45,493 --> 00:04:49,162 Listen, I made the appointment with Dr. Bassida and...
- 00:04:50,248 --> 00:04:51,456 Excuse me?
- 00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:56,503 Did you know this isn't Ma?
- 00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:06,722 Her name's Ronni.
- 00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:09,891 She's a pet mortician.
- 00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:15,230 Sure.
- 00:05:16,441 --> 00:05:18,358 So how long have you been...
- 00:05:20,486 --> 00:05:23,363 Remember when you were a kid, I'd take you to the Navy yard...
- 00:05:23,531 --> 00:05:24,990 ...and show you the big ships?
- 00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:28,994 - Since then? - No, it's only been six years.
- 00:05:29,203 --> 00:05:30,871 I wanted to give you a nice memory...
- 00:05:31,122 --> 00:05:34,333 ...so you'd know I wasn't always such a terrible guy.
- 00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:39,338 Joe, have you ever been in love?
- 00:05:41,049 --> 00:05:42,090 I don't know.
- 00:05:42,842 --> 00:05:44,217 Then you haven't.
- 00:05:44,844 --> 00:05:47,804 - You're burning your tomatoes. - Hmm. You're one to talk.
- 00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:52,351 Joe, your dad's in love, bigtime.
- 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:55,354 And the worst part is, it's with two different women.
- 00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:58,648 Oh, man. Please tell me one of them is Ma.
- 00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:01,818 Of course one of them's Ma. What's the matter with you?
- 00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:13,121 It's like if you woke up one day and found out...
- 00:06:13,331 --> 00:06:15,457 ...your dad was leading this double life.
- 00:06:15,666 --> 00:06:19,669 He's, like, actually some spy working for the CIA.
- 00:06:20,296 --> 00:06:21,588 That'd be cool.
- 00:06:22,423 --> 00:06:23,840 This blows.
- 00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:28,970 I know. Why can't parents just stay parents?
- 00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:31,139 Why do they have to become people?
- 00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:33,308 Why do they have...?
- 00:06:33,893 --> 00:06:35,811 Why...
- 00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:40,357 ...can't you stop staring at my breasts?
- 00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:46,363 What?
- 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:49,950 Didn't you get a good enough look the other day?
- 00:06:50,201 --> 00:06:51,576 All right, we're all adults here.
- 00:06:51,786 --> 00:06:54,579 There's only one way to resolve this.
- 00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:56,331 Since you saw her boobies...
- 00:06:56,541 --> 00:06:59,084 ...I think, uh, you're gonna have to show her your pee-pee.
- 00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:10,971 You know, I don't see that happening.
- 00:07:12,181 --> 00:07:14,516 Come on. He's right. Tit for tat.
- 00:07:19,397 --> 00:07:21,898 Well I'm not showing you my tat.
- 00:07:22,984 --> 00:07:24,025 [INTERCOM BUZZES]
- 00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:26,027 Hello?
- 00:07:26,195 --> 00:07:28,488 PHOEBE: It's Phoebe. ROGER: And Rog.
- 00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:30,907 Come on up.
- 00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:34,119 Oh, good. Rog is here.
- 00:07:35,371 --> 00:07:38,540 - What's the matter with Rog? - Nothing. It's a little thing.
- 00:07:38,791 --> 00:07:40,584 I hate that guy.
- 00:07:41,252 --> 00:07:44,880 What? So he was a little analytical. That's what he does.
- 00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:47,007 Come on, he's not that bad.
- 00:07:47,216 --> 00:07:50,010 That's where you're wrong. Why would I marry her...
- 00:07:50,219 --> 00:07:53,054 ...if I thought on any level that she was a lesbian?
- 00:07:54,056 --> 00:07:55,390 I don't know.
- 00:07:55,641 --> 00:07:57,350 Maybe you wanted your marriage to fail.
- 00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:04,441 - Ha, ha. - Why? Why would I? Why?
- 00:08:04,609 --> 00:08:06,485 Why? Why? Why?
- 00:08:06,736 --> 00:08:10,655 I don't know. Maybe low self-esteem?
- 00:08:10,865 --> 00:08:14,868 Maybe to compensate for overshadowing a sibling. Maybe...
- 00:08:15,036 --> 00:08:17,913 Wait. Go back to that "sibling" thing.
- 00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:20,832 Well, I don't know.
- 00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:24,211 It's conceivable that you sabotaged your marriage...
- 00:08:24,462 --> 00:08:28,089 ...so the sibling would be less of a failure in the parents' eyes.
- 00:08:28,257 --> 00:08:29,883 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:08:31,844 --> 00:08:35,722 That's ridiculous. I don't feel guilty for her failures.
- 00:08:38,643 --> 00:08:41,186 - Oh, so you think I'm a failure? - Isn't he good?
- 00:08:41,395 --> 00:08:44,689 Yeah. No. That's not what I was saying.
- 00:08:44,899 --> 00:08:46,942 All these years, I thought you were on my side...
- 00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:49,528 ...but maybe you were sucking up to Mom and Dad...
- 00:08:49,737 --> 00:08:50,862 ...so they'd favor you.
- 00:08:51,072 --> 00:08:53,490 Hey, I married a lesbian to make you look good.
- 00:08:58,454 --> 00:08:59,621 You're right.
- 00:08:59,872 --> 00:09:01,289 I mean, you're right.
- 00:09:01,499 --> 00:09:05,293 It wasn't just the Weebles, but it was the Weeble Play Palace...
- 00:09:08,047 --> 00:09:10,257 ...and the Weeble's Cruise Ship...
- 00:09:10,508 --> 00:09:14,427 ...which had this little lifeboat for the Weebles to wobble in.
- 00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:17,472 That's tough, tough stuff.
- 00:09:17,848 --> 00:09:21,101 Pheebs, if we're gonna catch that movie, we gotta go.
- 00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:22,978 Okay. Feel better, okay?
- 00:09:23,187 --> 00:09:25,063 ROGER: We're gonna be late, sweetie. - Okay.
- 00:09:25,273 --> 00:09:28,108 - Listen, thanks for everything, Mon. - No problem.
- 00:09:28,484 --> 00:09:30,235 It was great seeing you again.
- 00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:31,861 [ROSS MUTTERS]
- 00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:35,824 Mon, uh, easy on those cookies, okay?
- 00:09:36,075 --> 00:09:38,201 Remember, they're just food...
- 00:09:38,452 --> 00:09:39,828 ...they're not love.
- 00:09:44,333 --> 00:09:45,917 I hate that guy.
- 00:09:49,630 --> 00:09:50,880 JOEY: Good night, you guys.
- 00:09:53,926 --> 00:09:56,553 Oh, look. It's the woman we ordered.
- 00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:02,976 Hey. Can, uh... Can we help you?
- 00:10:03,352 --> 00:10:06,479 Oh. No, thanks. I'm just waiting for, uh, Joey Tribbiani.
- 00:10:07,982 --> 00:10:09,399 I'm Joey Tribbiani.
- 00:10:09,775 --> 00:10:13,236 Oh. Oh, no, not you. Big Joey.
- 00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:14,487 Oh, my God.
- 00:10:14,697 --> 00:10:17,365 You're so much cuter than your pictures.
- 00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:21,536 I'm Ronni.
- 00:10:24,665 --> 00:10:25,790 Cheese Nip?
- 00:10:27,877 --> 00:10:30,337 Uh, Joey's having an embolism...
- 00:10:30,963 --> 00:10:32,213 ...but I'd go for a Nip.
- 00:10:39,430 --> 00:10:42,015 You see, most people, when their pets pass on...
- 00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:44,893 ...they want them laid out like they're sleeping.
- 00:10:45,102 --> 00:10:48,271 But occasionally you get a person who wants them in a pose.
- 00:10:48,564 --> 00:10:51,232 Like, uh, chasing their tail.
- 00:10:51,942 --> 00:10:55,236 Or, uh, jumping to catch a Frisbee.
- 00:10:56,447 --> 00:10:58,948 Joey, if I go first, I want to be looking for my keys.
- 00:10:59,116 --> 00:11:00,950 [RONNI LAUGHS]
- 00:11:01,702 --> 00:11:03,203 - That's a good one. - Hey, Joe.
- 00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:04,954 Hey, Dad. Ronni's here.
- 00:11:05,206 --> 00:11:06,456 - Huh? - Hi.
- 00:11:06,707 --> 00:11:07,916 - Hey. RONNl: Hey.
- 00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:09,626 Hello, babe.
- 00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:12,796 What are...? What are you doing here?
- 00:11:13,005 --> 00:11:15,757 Oh, uh, you left your hair at my apartment.
- 00:11:16,008 --> 00:11:18,385 I figured you'd need it for your meeting.
- 00:11:21,222 --> 00:11:22,263 Thank you. Uh...
- 00:11:24,392 --> 00:11:26,851 So who's up for a big game of Kerplunk?
- 00:11:31,315 --> 00:11:32,440 Look, I, uh...
- 00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:34,317 I shouldn't have come.
- 00:11:34,568 --> 00:11:36,986 I gotta go. I'll miss the last train.
- 00:11:37,196 --> 00:11:39,280 No, I don't want you taking that thing this late.
- 00:11:39,490 --> 00:11:41,866 - Where am I gonna stay? Here? - Whoa.
- 00:11:43,327 --> 00:11:46,913 We'll go to a hotel.
- 00:11:48,457 --> 00:11:50,458 - No, you won't. - No, we won't.
- 00:11:50,751 --> 00:11:53,586 If you go to a hotel, you'll be doing stuff.
- 00:11:53,796 --> 00:11:56,756 I want you right here, where I can keep an eye on you.
- 00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:58,633 You're gonna keep an eye on us?
- 00:11:58,843 --> 00:11:59,884 That's right, mister.
- 00:12:00,052 --> 00:12:02,595 I don't care how old you are, while you're here...
- 00:12:02,847 --> 00:12:05,265 ...you're gonna live by my rules.
- 00:12:08,811 --> 00:12:11,771 And that means no sleeping with your girlfriend.
- 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:15,066 Wow, he's strict.
- 00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:16,776 Dad, you'll be in my room.
- 00:12:17,027 --> 00:12:20,029 Ronni, uh, you can stay in Chandler's room.
- 00:12:20,322 --> 00:12:22,657 Thanks. You're a good kid.
- 00:12:22,867 --> 00:12:24,909 Come on. I'll show you to my room.
- 00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:30,498 That sounds weird when it's not followed by, "No, thanks, it's late."
- 00:12:34,712 --> 00:12:38,131 Okay. This is just for tonight. Starting tomorrow, you gotta change.
- 00:12:38,382 --> 00:12:40,884 - Six years is long enough. - What kind of change?
- 00:12:41,135 --> 00:12:43,094 - Break up with Ronni... - I can't.
- 00:12:43,345 --> 00:12:45,972 Then come clean with Ma. This is not right.
- 00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:49,225 I don't wanna hear it. Now go to my room.
- 00:13:03,324 --> 00:13:04,908 Hey, kickie.
- 00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:10,121 - What are you doing? - Trying to get comfortable.
- 00:13:10,372 --> 00:13:13,249 - I can't sleep in my underwear. - Well, you're gonna.
- 00:13:20,090 --> 00:13:21,382 I've been thinking...
- 00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:24,928 ...about how I'm always seeing girls on top of girls.
- 00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:31,184 Are they end-to-end, or tall, like pancakes?
- 00:13:31,769 --> 00:13:34,771 You know what I mean. How I date all these women.
- 00:13:35,022 --> 00:13:37,857 I always figured, when the right one comes along...
- 00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:41,402 ...I'll be able to be a standup guy and go the distance, you know?
- 00:13:41,612 --> 00:13:44,030 Now I'm looking at my Dad thinking...
- 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,658 You're not him, you're you.
- 00:13:47,535 --> 00:13:51,412 When they wanted you to go into your father's business, did you cave?
- 00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:52,705 - No. - No.
- 00:13:52,873 --> 00:13:55,250 You decided to go into the out-of-work-actor business.
- 00:13:57,211 --> 00:13:59,587 That wasn't easy, but you did it.
- 00:14:00,256 --> 00:14:03,216 And I believe that when the right woman comes along...
- 00:14:03,425 --> 00:14:05,343 ...you'll have the guts to say:
- 00:14:05,553 --> 00:14:06,970 "No thanks, I'm married."
- 00:14:13,769 --> 00:14:14,978 You really think so?
- 00:14:15,479 --> 00:14:17,313 Yeah. I really do.
- 00:14:17,565 --> 00:14:19,148 - Thanks, Chandler. - Get off.
- 00:14:26,574 --> 00:14:27,949 [KNOCK ON DOOR]
- 00:14:31,912 --> 00:14:33,329 - Hi. - Hi.
- 00:14:33,497 --> 00:14:34,581 May I help you?
- 00:14:34,748 --> 00:14:38,501 Uh, Joey said I could use your shower since, uh, Chandler's in ours.
- 00:14:39,336 --> 00:14:41,254 Okay. Who are you?
- 00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:44,799 - Oh, uh, I'm Ronni. Ronni Rapalono. - Uh-huh.
- 00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:46,968 The mistress?
- 00:14:48,679 --> 00:14:50,889 - Um, come on in. - Thanks.
- 00:14:51,098 --> 00:14:53,057 Hi, I'm Rachel. Bathroom's up there.
- 00:14:53,267 --> 00:14:54,309 Hey, Ronni.
- 00:14:54,476 --> 00:14:56,686 How long has Chandler been in the shower?
- 00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,688 Oh. Like, uh, five minutes.
- 00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,065 Perfect.
- 00:15:03,277 --> 00:15:04,861 Fasten your seat belts...
- 00:15:05,070 --> 00:15:06,696 ...it's pee-pee time.
- 00:15:12,703 --> 00:15:13,995 Hey, Mr. Trib.
- 00:15:14,163 --> 00:15:15,914 Hey. Good morning, dear.
- 00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:21,711 Chandler Bing, it's time to see your thing.
- 00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:30,219 [RACHEL SHRIEKS]
- 00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:36,893 - What's the matter with you? - I thought it was Chandler.
- 00:15:37,186 --> 00:15:40,813 You were supposed to be in there so I could see your thing.
- 00:15:42,441 --> 00:15:45,276 Sorry, my thing was in there with me.
- 00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:54,035 PHOEBE: Hey. ALL: Hey, Pheebs.
- 00:15:54,244 --> 00:15:56,621 MONICA: How's it going? - Good. Oh, oh.
- 00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:59,540 Roger's having a dinner thing and he wanted me to invite you guys.
- 00:15:59,708 --> 00:16:00,792 [CHANDLER CHUCKLES]
- 00:16:04,254 --> 00:16:06,547 - So, what's going on? - Nothing.
- 00:16:07,216 --> 00:16:08,424 It's just that, uh...
- 00:16:09,426 --> 00:16:10,510 It's Roger.
- 00:16:10,928 --> 00:16:13,513 Um, ahem, I don't know. There's something about... Ahem.
- 00:16:14,223 --> 00:16:15,974 Basically, we just feel that he's, uh...
- 00:16:16,225 --> 00:16:17,266 We hate that guy.
- 00:16:17,559 --> 00:16:18,726 MONICA: We hate him.
- 00:16:19,103 --> 00:16:20,478 We're sorry, Pheebs.
- 00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:21,980 Uh-huh. Okay.
- 00:16:22,231 --> 00:16:25,566 Don't you think maybe it's just that he's so perceptive...
- 00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:27,443 ...that it freaked you out?
- 00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:29,445 - No, I hate him. - No, we hate him.
- 00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:30,822 I'm sorry.
- 00:16:37,121 --> 00:16:38,663 [KNOCK ON DOOR]
- 00:16:44,128 --> 00:16:45,795 Ma. What are you doing here?
- 00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:48,047 I came to give you this...
- 00:16:48,298 --> 00:16:49,549 ...and this. - Ow.
- 00:16:49,883 --> 00:16:51,259 Big ring.
- 00:16:51,593 --> 00:16:54,554 Why did you fill your father's head with that garbage...
- 00:16:54,805 --> 00:16:57,432 ...about making things right?
- 00:16:57,683 --> 00:16:59,934 Things were fine the way they were.
- 00:17:00,185 --> 00:17:02,854 There's chicken in there. Put it away.
- 00:17:03,147 --> 00:17:05,982 For God's sake, Joey. Really.
- 00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:09,986 Hold on. You knew?
- 00:17:10,195 --> 00:17:12,572 Of course I knew. What do you think?
- 00:17:12,823 --> 00:17:15,199 Your father is no James Bond.
- 00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:17,285 You should have heard his cover stories.
- 00:17:17,536 --> 00:17:19,787 "I'm sleeping over at my accountant's."
- 00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:22,290 I mean, what is that? Please.
- 00:17:22,541 --> 00:17:24,375 So then, how could you...?
- 00:17:24,585 --> 00:17:27,086 Do you remember how your father used to be?
- 00:17:27,337 --> 00:17:31,549 Always yelling. Nothing made him happy.
- 00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:35,511 Not that wood shop, not those stupid little ships in the bottle.
- 00:17:35,763 --> 00:17:37,263 Now he's happy.
- 00:17:37,514 --> 00:17:40,099 I mean, it's nice. He has a hobby.
- 00:17:42,686 --> 00:17:46,022 Ma, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but...
- 00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:47,940 ...what the hell are you talking about?
- 00:17:49,735 --> 00:17:52,612 - I mean, what about you? - Me? I'm fine.
- 00:17:53,363 --> 00:17:54,614 Look, honey...
- 00:17:54,990 --> 00:17:57,075 ...in an ideal world...
- 00:17:57,367 --> 00:18:00,536 ...there'd be no her and your father would look like Sting.
- 00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:04,582 And I'll tell you something else:
- 00:18:04,792 --> 00:18:08,169 Ever since that poodle-stuffer came along...
- 00:18:08,420 --> 00:18:12,715 ...he's been so ashamed of himself that he's been more attentive.
- 00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:14,801 He's been more loving.
- 00:18:15,302 --> 00:18:17,553 It's like every day is our anniversary.
- 00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:20,181 I'm happy for you?
- 00:18:20,390 --> 00:18:21,599 Well, don't be.
- 00:18:22,643 --> 00:18:24,519 Because now everything's screwed up.
- 00:18:26,021 --> 00:18:30,274 I just want it the way it was.
- 00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:33,402 JOEY: Ma, I'm sorry.
- 00:18:33,654 --> 00:18:37,115 I just did what I thought you'd want.
- 00:18:37,366 --> 00:18:41,285 I know you did, cookie. Oh, I know you did.
- 00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:45,665 So tell me...
- 00:18:47,042 --> 00:18:48,167 Did you see her?
- 00:18:49,711 --> 00:18:50,795 Yeah.
- 00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:54,340 You're 10 times prettier than she is.
- 00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:55,883 That's sweet.
- 00:18:57,719 --> 00:18:58,970 Could I take her?
- 00:19:00,764 --> 00:19:02,974 With this ring, no contest.
- 00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:09,397 ROGER: What's wrong, sweetie? PHOEBE: Nothing.
- 00:19:09,731 --> 00:19:12,150 No, no. What's wrong? Come on.
- 00:19:12,359 --> 00:19:13,776 Okay.
- 00:19:17,030 --> 00:19:18,781 It's nothing. I'm fine.
- 00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:20,950 It's just, um... It's my friends.
- 00:19:21,201 --> 00:19:23,870 They have a liking problem with you...
- 00:19:24,121 --> 00:19:25,329 ...in that, um...
- 00:19:25,581 --> 00:19:26,956 ...they don't.
- 00:19:29,376 --> 00:19:31,752 Oh. They don't?
- 00:19:32,796 --> 00:19:34,046 But you know...
- 00:19:34,298 --> 00:19:37,091 ...they don't see all of the wonderfulness that I see.
- 00:19:37,342 --> 00:19:40,845 They don't see all the good stuff and all the sweet stuff.
- 00:19:41,096 --> 00:19:42,638 They think you're a little...
- 00:19:43,515 --> 00:19:46,100 - What? - Intense and creepy.
- 00:19:48,687 --> 00:19:49,854 Oh.
- 00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:52,648 But I don't. Me. Phoebe.
- 00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:57,111 Well, I'm not at all surprised they feel that way.
- 00:19:57,321 --> 00:19:59,739 You're not? See, that's why you're so great.
- 00:20:00,115 --> 00:20:02,241 Actually, it's quite typical behavior...
- 00:20:02,492 --> 00:20:06,662 ...when you have this kind of dysfunctional group dynamic.
- 00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:09,498 You know, this kind of codependent...
- 00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:11,375 ...emotionally stunted...
- 00:20:11,668 --> 00:20:16,797 ...sitting in your stupid coffeehouse, with your stupid big cups...
- 00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:20,384 ...which, I'm sorry, might as well have nipples on them.
- 00:20:21,845 --> 00:20:26,307 And you're all like, "Oh, define me. Define me.
- 00:20:26,516 --> 00:20:29,310 Love me. I need love."
- 00:20:30,812 --> 00:20:32,438 So you talked to your dad, huh?
- 00:20:32,648 --> 00:20:35,691 Yeah. He's gonna keep cheating on Ma, like she wanted.
- 00:20:35,984 --> 00:20:38,527 Ma's gonna keep pretending she doesn't know even though she does.
- 00:20:38,779 --> 00:20:41,530 And my sister Tina can't see her husband anymore...
- 00:20:41,782 --> 00:20:43,824 ...because he got a restraining order.
- 00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:48,079 Which has nothing to do with it, except that I found out today.
- 00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:49,288 Wow.
- 00:20:49,456 --> 00:20:52,083 Things sure have changed here on Walton's mountain.
- 00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:55,419 So, Joey, are you okay?
- 00:20:56,046 --> 00:20:57,171 Yeah, I guess.
- 00:20:57,422 --> 00:20:59,674 It's just... You know, they're parents.
- 00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:02,885 After a certain point, you gotta let go.
- 00:21:03,387 --> 00:21:04,762 Even if you know better...
- 00:21:04,972 --> 00:21:07,473 ...you gotta let them make their own mistakes.
- 00:21:07,683 --> 00:21:08,724 And just think...
- 00:21:08,934 --> 00:21:11,060 ...in a couple years, we get to turn into them.
- 00:21:11,311 --> 00:21:12,687 Oh, please.
- 00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:15,523 If I turn into my parents, I'll either be an alcoholic blond...
- 00:21:15,691 --> 00:21:18,776 ...chasing after 20-year-old boys...
- 00:21:19,027 --> 00:21:20,820 ...or I'll end up like my mom.
- 00:21:25,075 --> 00:21:26,867 - Hey. ALL: Hey, Pheebs.
- 00:21:27,244 --> 00:21:28,536 MONICA: How's it going?
- 00:21:29,663 --> 00:21:32,039 Okay, except I broke up with Roger.
- 00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:33,791 ALL: Oh.
- 00:21:34,042 --> 00:21:35,126 Yeah, right.
- 00:21:35,294 --> 00:21:37,920 ALL: No, no, really. Aw.
- 00:21:39,214 --> 00:21:42,925 - What happened? - Ugh. I don't know. I mean...
- 00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:44,635 He's a good person...
- 00:21:44,886 --> 00:21:46,762 ...and he can be really sweet.
- 00:21:47,389 --> 00:21:50,266 And in some ways, I think he is so right for me.
- 00:21:50,517 --> 00:21:52,935 It's just, I hate that guy.
- 00:22:00,652 --> 00:22:03,112 Hey, Joey. What's going on?
- 00:22:03,363 --> 00:22:05,990 Clear the tracks for the boobie payback express.
- 00:22:06,241 --> 00:22:08,034 Next stop, Rachel Green.
- 00:22:11,538 --> 00:22:12,997 [MONICA & JOEY YELL]
- 00:22:14,374 --> 00:22:16,751 Joey, what the hell were you doing?
- 00:22:17,252 --> 00:22:19,545 Sorry, wrong boobies.
- 00:22:32,768 --> 00:22:33,893 Hello, Joey.
- 00:22:35,437 --> 00:22:36,645 Hello, dear.
- 00:22:41,860 --> 00:22:43,861 [English - US - SDH]
- 00:00:17,470 --> 00:00:19,510 - Ой, извини! - Боже мой! Ну все!
- 00:00:19,760 --> 00:00:21,970 Чего это ты вламываешься без стука?
- 00:00:22,220 --> 00:00:24,060 Ты слышал слова "неприкосновенность жилища"?
- 00:00:24,310 --> 00:00:25,850 - Рэйчел, стоп! - Не затыкай мне рот!
- 00:00:26,100 --> 00:00:27,350 Можно сказать одну вещь?
- 00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:28,520 Что?! Какую?
- 00:00:28,770 --> 00:00:32,740 Плетение сравнительно неплотное, так что я до сих пор вижу твои...
- 00:00:32,990 --> 00:00:35,360 ...сосковые области
- 00:00:39,870 --> 00:00:42,700 1-й сезон, 13-я серия "Титьки"
- 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:29,750 Ой, солнышко...
- 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:32,590 ...расскажи им историю о своей пациентке...
- 00:01:32,840 --> 00:01:35,340 ...которая думает, что одно - это другое. Ну?
- 00:01:35,590 --> 00:01:40,060 Например, звонит телефон, а она берет душ...
- 00:01:40,310 --> 00:01:43,270 В общем, это и вся история
- 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,810 Но ты здорово ее рассказываешь, солнышко
- 00:01:46,060 --> 00:01:48,110 Спасибо
- 00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:51,230 Теперь уходи, чтобы мы поговорили о тебе
- 00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:54,450 Ладно. Я буду скучать
- 00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:56,030 Правда, классный?
- 00:01:56,280 --> 00:01:58,570 Он симпатичный. И тебя, похоже, обожает
- 00:01:58,820 --> 00:01:59,780 Ага, я знаю
- 00:02:00,030 --> 00:02:03,000 Он очень милый. И умный - психолог все-таки.
- 00:02:03,250 --> 00:02:06,460 И одарен не только умом. Поняли намек?
- 00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:08,670 Думаешь завалить его на его же кушетку?
- 00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:11,670 Ну не знаю. Неудобно как-то будет
- 00:02:11,920 --> 00:02:14,840 На кожзаменителе холодно
- 00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:19,260 Так, ребята, вам что-нибудь еще?
- 00:02:19,510 --> 00:02:20,970 - Да. Можно мне... - Нет, это кончилось.
- 00:02:21,220 --> 00:02:23,310 Еще что-нибудь?
- 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,270 Извините, я что-то пропустил?
- 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:29,270 Она расстроена, что я видел ее титьки
- 00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:32,480 А с какой стати ты смотрел на ее титьки?
- 00:02:32,730 --> 00:02:33,530 Это была случайность
- 00:02:33,780 --> 00:02:38,160 Я не сидел в доме напротив с телескопом и чипсами
- 00:02:38,410 --> 00:02:40,660 Так, давайте сменим тему, а?
- 00:02:40,910 --> 00:02:46,330 Кстати, да! У нее не "титьки". Вот это - ее грудь
- 00:02:46,330 --> 00:02:50,130 Фибс, я надеялась сменить тему еще больше
- 00:02:50,380 --> 00:02:55,050 Ну не знаю, чего ты бесишься. Титьки были такие славные
- 00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:56,630 "Славные"?
- 00:02:56,880 --> 00:02:57,970 Значит, они "славные"?
- 00:02:58,220 --> 00:03:02,510 И всё? Знаешь, это варежки бывают "славные"
- 00:03:03,510 --> 00:03:05,390 Ага! Молот... наковальня...
- 00:03:05,640 --> 00:03:08,020 ...я.
- 00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:14,570 А ты комик!
- 00:03:14,820 --> 00:03:16,820 Он такой юморист!
- 00:03:17,070 --> 00:03:21,320 Но не хотел бы я быть рядом, когда шутки кончатся
- 00:03:21,570 --> 00:03:24,580 А ну поподробнее, живчик
- 00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:27,250 Что ты имел в виду?
- 00:03:27,500 --> 00:03:30,670 Похоже, у тебя проблемы с интимной сферой...
- 00:03:30,920 --> 00:03:36,300 ...и ты с помощью юмора держишь людей на расстоянии
- 00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:41,680 Вот я только что тебя узнал. Я не знаю твоего прошлого.
- 00:03:41,890 --> 00:03:44,260 Единственный ребенок, так?
- 00:03:44,510 --> 00:03:48,310 Родители развелись еще до твоего полового созревания
- 00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:50,940 Да... Откуда ты знаешь?
- 00:03:51,190 --> 00:03:53,860 Из учебника
- 00:03:55,570 --> 00:03:56,610 Привет, ребята
- 00:03:56,860 --> 00:03:58,860 Все знают моего папу, да?
- 00:03:59,110 --> 00:04:01,280 - Надолго вы в город? - На пару дней.
- 00:04:01,530 --> 00:04:02,620 Нашел клиента в центре.
- 00:04:02,870 --> 00:04:05,080 Мне удобнее заночевать у сына...
- 00:04:05,330 --> 00:04:07,580 ...чем носиться туда-сюда на пароме
- 00:04:07,830 --> 00:04:09,080 А этого я не знаю
- 00:04:09,330 --> 00:04:11,250 Это мой друг Роджер
- 00:04:11,500 --> 00:04:13,130 - Приятно познакомиться, Родж. - И мне, сэр.
- 00:04:13,380 --> 00:04:16,130 А куда делся тот кукловод?
- 00:04:16,380 --> 00:04:18,760 Папа!
- 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:19,840 Извините
- 00:04:20,090 --> 00:04:23,720 Ну, Росс, как там супруга?
- 00:04:24,550 --> 00:04:26,680 Ноль очков с двух попыток, да?
- 00:04:26,930 --> 00:04:30,600 Чендлер, а ну быстро скажи шутку!
- 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:39,690 Мне пора
- 00:04:39,940 --> 00:04:40,950 Я тоже скучаю
- 00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:43,280 Я тебя люблю, но сейчас уже поздно...
- 00:04:43,530 --> 00:04:45,160 Дай поздороваться. Привет, мама!
- 00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:49,910 Слушай, я договорился с доктором Бассидой, и...
- 00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:52,920 Прошу прощения?
- 00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:57,960 Ты знал, что это не мама?
- 00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:08,180 Ее зовут Ронни
- 00:05:08,350 --> 00:05:11,350 Она хоронит домашних животных
- 00:05:14,060 --> 00:05:16,110 Ну да
- 00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:19,820 И как долго у вас уже...
- 00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:24,860 Помнишь, как в детстве я водил тебя смотреть на большие корабли в доке?
- 00:05:25,110 --> 00:05:26,450 С тех пор?
- 00:05:26,700 --> 00:05:28,870 Нет, пока всего шесть лет
- 00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:30,790 Я просто хотел, чтобы ты вспомнил...
- 00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:35,790 ...обо мне что-нибудь хорошее и не держал на меня зла
- 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:40,800 Джо, ты был когда-нибудь влюблен?
- 00:05:41,130 --> 00:05:42,510 Не знаю
- 00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:44,510 Значит, не был
- 00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:46,260 Следи за своими помидорами
- 00:05:46,510 --> 00:05:49,260 Ага, кто бы говорил
- 00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:52,220 Джо, у твоего папы большая любовь
- 00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:55,270 И хуже всего то, что с двумя разными женщинами
- 00:05:55,520 --> 00:05:58,560 Блин! Скажи мне, что одна из них - мама!
- 00:05:58,810 --> 00:06:03,280 Конечно, одна из них - мама. Не заговаривайся!
- 00:06:10,280 --> 00:06:13,000 Это как будто проснулся и вдруг понял...
- 00:06:13,250 --> 00:06:15,330 ...что твой отец живет двойной жизнью
- 00:06:15,580 --> 00:06:19,960 Как будто он на самом деле шпион из ЦРУ
- 00:06:20,210 --> 00:06:22,090 Было бы круто!
- 00:06:22,340 --> 00:06:25,300 А вот это - не круто!
- 00:06:25,840 --> 00:06:28,890 Да уж. Почему бы родителям не быть всегда родителями?
- 00:06:29,140 --> 00:06:31,060 Зачем они становятся просто людьми?
- 00:06:31,310 --> 00:06:33,560 Зачем им нужно...
- 00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:36,350 Зачем...
- 00:06:36,980 --> 00:06:41,440 ...ты все время пялишься на мою грудь?
- 00:06:41,690 --> 00:06:44,280 Что?
- 00:06:45,110 --> 00:06:46,900 Что?
- 00:06:47,150 --> 00:06:49,870 Ты тогда не насмотрелся?
- 00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:51,450 Ладно, ладно, все мы здесь взрослые люди
- 00:06:51,700 --> 00:06:54,450 Есть только один способ разрешить конфликт
- 00:06:54,700 --> 00:06:56,210 Раз ты видел ее титьки...
- 00:06:56,460 --> 00:07:00,540 ...думаю, ты должен показать ей свою пипиську
- 00:07:08,470 --> 00:07:11,850 Знаешь, я почему-то против
- 00:07:12,100 --> 00:07:15,980 Да ну. Он прав. Зуб за зуб
- 00:07:19,310 --> 00:07:23,360 Не покажу я тебе свой зуб!
- 00:07:25,990 --> 00:07:29,570 - Это Фиби. - И Родж!
- 00:07:29,820 --> 00:07:30,780 Поднимайтесь
- 00:07:31,030 --> 00:07:35,040 Какое счастье! Родж пришел!
- 00:07:35,290 --> 00:07:38,460 - Чем тебе Родж не угодил? - Ничем. Так, ничего особенного.
- 00:07:38,710 --> 00:07:40,920 Я его ненавижу!
- 00:07:41,170 --> 00:07:44,800 Чего? Ну любит человек анализировать. Работа такая.
- 00:07:45,050 --> 00:07:46,880 Да ну, ничего в нем плохого нет
- 00:07:47,130 --> 00:07:49,880 А вот тут ты ошибаешься! Зачем мне было на ней жениться...
- 00:07:50,130 --> 00:07:53,720 ...если подсознательно я знал, что она лесбиянка?
- 00:07:53,970 --> 00:07:55,310 Ну не знаю
- 00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:58,810 Может, ты хотел, чтобы твой брак рухнул
- 00:08:02,770 --> 00:08:06,230 Зачем? Зачем это мне? Зачем, зачем, зачем?
- 00:08:06,650 --> 00:08:10,530 Не знаю. Может, заниженная самооценка?
- 00:08:10,780 --> 00:08:15,280 Может, чувство вины за подавление младших в семье
- 00:08:15,530 --> 00:08:17,830 Стоп! Поподробнее про подавление младших
- 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:20,710 Ну я даже не знаю
- 00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:24,130 Можно себе представить, что ты довел свой брак до ручки...
- 00:08:24,380 --> 00:08:29,550 ...чтобы сестра казалась меньшей неудачницей в глазах родителей
- 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:37,180 Курам на смех! Я не виноват в том, что у нее жизнь не удалась.
- 00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:42,060 - Так по-твоему, у меня жизнь не удалась? - Специалист, а?
- 00:08:42,310 --> 00:08:44,560 Да. Нет, я не это хотел сказать
- 00:08:44,810 --> 00:08:46,860 Я думала, все эти годы ты на моей стороне...
- 00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:49,400 ...а ты, наверное, просто подлизывался к маме с папой...
- 00:08:49,650 --> 00:08:50,740 ...чтобы они любили тебя больше
- 00:08:50,990 --> 00:08:54,950 Эй! Да я женился на лесбиянке, чтобы ты выросла в их глазах!
- 00:08:58,370 --> 00:08:59,540 Ты прав
- 00:08:59,790 --> 00:09:01,160 Нет, серьезно, ты прав!
- 00:09:01,410 --> 00:09:06,750 Это был не просто ванька-встанька. У него был свой дворец.
- 00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:10,170 И круизная яхта
- 00:09:10,420 --> 00:09:15,300 Со спасательной шлюпкой, чтобы он там качался!
- 00:09:15,550 --> 00:09:17,510 Я понимаю, как это тяжело
- 00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:21,560 Фибс, если мы хотим успеть на кино, нам пора
- 00:09:21,810 --> 00:09:22,850 А ты не расстраивайся, ладно?
- 00:09:23,100 --> 00:09:24,940 Фибс, мы опоздаем!
- 00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:26,900 Спасибо за все, Мон
- 00:09:27,150 --> 00:09:28,150 Не за что
- 00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:31,690 Приятно было снова увидеть вас, ребята
- 00:09:32,860 --> 00:09:35,740 Мон, аккуратней с печеньем, ладно?
- 00:09:35,990 --> 00:09:38,120 Помни - это просто еда...
- 00:09:38,370 --> 00:09:41,290 ...а не любовь
- 00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:47,380 Я его ненавижу!
- 00:09:49,550 --> 00:09:52,340 Спокойной ночи, ребята
- 00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:58,010 Ой, смотри! Вот и женщина, которую мы заказывали
- 00:10:01,770 --> 00:10:03,560 Привет, чем можем помочь?
- 00:10:03,810 --> 00:10:07,650 Ничем, спасибо. Мне нужен Джои Триббиани
- 00:10:07,900 --> 00:10:10,110 Я - Джои Триббиани
- 00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:13,110 Ой, нет, не вы. Старший Джои
- 00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:14,360 Боже мой!
- 00:10:14,610 --> 00:10:18,820 Вы гораздо симпатичнее, чем на фотографиях
- 00:10:19,780 --> 00:10:23,000 Я - Ронни
- 00:10:24,580 --> 00:10:27,250 Сырных подушечек?
- 00:10:28,250 --> 00:10:30,630 Джои как раз хватил удар
- 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:33,670 А я, пожалуй, возьму
- 00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:42,260 Большинство людей, которые хоронят домашних любимцев...
- 00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:45,140 ...просят положить их так, как будто те спят
- 00:10:45,390 --> 00:10:48,600 Но бывают чудаки, которые хотят какую-нибудь позу
- 00:10:48,850 --> 00:10:51,980 Например, гоняться за хвостом
- 00:10:52,230 --> 00:10:56,490 Или ловить летающую тарелку
- 00:10:56,740 --> 00:11:01,620 Джои, если я умру первым, я хочу позу поиска ключей
- 00:11:01,990 --> 00:11:03,540 Хорошо сказал!
- 00:11:03,790 --> 00:11:06,790 Привет, папа. У нас Ронни
- 00:11:08,460 --> 00:11:10,540 Привет, лапочка!
- 00:11:10,790 --> 00:11:14,210 Как ты сюда попала?
- 00:11:14,460 --> 00:11:16,050 Ты оставил у меня свои волосы
- 00:11:16,300 --> 00:11:20,220 Я подумала, они тебе пригодятся для встречи
- 00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:24,100 Спасибо
- 00:11:24,680 --> 00:11:28,690 Ну что, в домино? Как раз четверо
- 00:11:31,610 --> 00:11:32,860 Слушай, мне...
- 00:11:33,110 --> 00:11:34,610 Не надо было мне приходить
- 00:11:34,860 --> 00:11:37,240 Мне пора. А то пропущу последний поезд
- 00:11:37,490 --> 00:11:39,530 Нет, не надо тебе идти на поезд так поздно
- 00:11:39,780 --> 00:11:43,120 - И где же мне остаться? Здесь? - Ага!
- 00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:45,830 Мы поедем в гостиницу
- 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:48,750 Поедем в гостиницу
- 00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:50,790 - Нет, не поедете. - Нет, не поедем.
- 00:11:51,040 --> 00:11:53,840 Если вы поедете в гостиницу, вы там... будете безобразничать
- 00:11:54,090 --> 00:11:57,010 А я хочу присмотреть за вами, так что оставайтесь здесь
- 00:11:57,260 --> 00:11:58,880 Ты будешь за нами присматривать?
- 00:11:59,130 --> 00:11:59,970 Именно, уважаемый!
- 00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:02,890 Мне плевать, сколько вам лет. Пока вы у меня в доме...
- 00:12:03,140 --> 00:12:07,100 ...будете жить по моим правилам
- 00:12:09,100 --> 00:12:12,480 То есть никаких ночных забав с подружкой
- 00:12:12,730 --> 00:12:15,610 Ого, какой он строгий
- 00:12:15,860 --> 00:12:17,070 Папа, ты будешь спать у меня в комнате
- 00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:20,360 Ронни, вы можете спать у Чендлера
- 00:12:20,610 --> 00:12:22,910 Спасибо. Какой хороший сын
- 00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:26,740 Идем. Покажу вам свою комнату
- 00:12:26,870 --> 00:12:32,330 Странно не слышать после этого "Нет, спасибо, уже поздно!"
- 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:38,420 Это только на сегодня. Завтра ты должен все изменить
- 00:12:38,670 --> 00:12:41,180 - Шести лет уже хватит! - Что изменить?
- 00:12:41,430 --> 00:12:43,390 - Или порви с Ронни... - Я не могу!
- 00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:46,640 Или разберись с мамой! Так неправильно!
- 00:12:46,890 --> 00:12:51,060 Не хочу ничего слышать! А ну пошел в мою комнату!
- 00:13:03,610 --> 00:13:06,740 Эй, дрыгоножка!
- 00:13:07,910 --> 00:13:08,790 Что ты делаешь?
- 00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:10,410 Устраиваюсь поудобнее
- 00:13:10,660 --> 00:13:15,080 - Я не привык спать в трусах. - А придется.
- 00:13:20,380 --> 00:13:21,670 Я тут подумал...
- 00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:26,760 ...обо всех этих кучах девушек, что у меня были...
- 00:13:28,180 --> 00:13:31,810 Они были складированы штабелями, или стопкой, как блины?
- 00:13:32,060 --> 00:13:35,060 Не притворяйся, что не понял. Я обо всех своих подружках
- 00:13:35,310 --> 00:13:38,110 Я думал, что когда появится та самая...
- 00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:41,650 ...я успокоюсь и не буду кидаться на всех подряд
- 00:13:41,900 --> 00:13:44,280 А теперь смотрю на папу и думаю...
- 00:13:44,530 --> 00:13:47,580 Ты - не он, ты - сам по себе
- 00:13:47,830 --> 00:13:52,870 Когда тебя тащили в отцовскую фирму по сантехнике, ты же не поддался?
- 00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:57,080 Нет. Ты выбрал жизнь безработного актера
- 00:13:57,500 --> 00:14:00,300 Это было нелегко, но ты смог
- 00:14:00,550 --> 00:14:03,470 И я хочу верить, что когда наконец появится та самая женщина...
- 00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:05,590 ...у тебя хватит мужества сказать:
- 00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:08,800 "Спасибо, но я женат."
- 00:14:14,060 --> 00:14:16,310 Ты правда так думаешь?
- 00:14:16,560 --> 00:14:17,610 Да, правда
- 00:14:17,860 --> 00:14:20,980 - Спасибо, Чендлер. - Да иди ты!
- 00:14:33,490 --> 00:14:34,580 Чем могу помочь?
- 00:14:34,830 --> 00:14:40,210 Джои сказал, я могу помыться в вашем душе, поскольку в нашем - Чендлер
- 00:14:40,580 --> 00:14:42,170 Ладно. А вы кто?
- 00:14:42,420 --> 00:14:45,040 Ой, я Ронни. Ронни Рапалоно
- 00:14:45,290 --> 00:14:47,670 Любовница!
- 00:14:49,420 --> 00:14:51,010 - Заходите. - Спасибо.
- 00:14:51,260 --> 00:14:53,180 Привет, я Рэйчел. Ванная там
- 00:14:53,430 --> 00:14:54,390 Скажите, Ронни...
- 00:14:54,640 --> 00:14:57,220 А Чендлер уже давно в душе?
- 00:14:57,470 --> 00:14:59,810 Наверное, минут пять
- 00:15:00,060 --> 00:15:02,770 Отлично
- 00:15:03,440 --> 00:15:04,980 Пристегните ремни...
- 00:15:05,230 --> 00:15:08,400 ...заходим на пиписку!
- 00:15:12,860 --> 00:15:14,490 Привет, мистер Триб
- 00:15:14,740 --> 00:15:17,620 Привет, лапочка
- 00:15:17,910 --> 00:15:23,420 Ну-ка, Чендлер-дружок, покажи свой корешок!
- 00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:37,100 - Что ты делаешь? - Я думала, здесь Чендлер!
- 00:15:37,350 --> 00:15:42,520 Ты должен был быть там, чтобы я увидела твою штуку!
- 00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:46,980 Извини, моя штука была со мной там
- 00:15:54,410 --> 00:15:55,240 Ну, как дела?
- 00:15:55,490 --> 00:15:56,570 Хорошо
- 00:15:56,820 --> 00:16:02,540 Роджер устраивает ужин и хочет пригласить всех вас
- 00:16:04,420 --> 00:16:05,330 Что такое?
- 00:16:05,580 --> 00:16:07,130 Ничего
- 00:16:07,380 --> 00:16:09,550 Просто, понимаешь...
- 00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:12,220 Этот Роджер
- 00:16:12,340 --> 00:16:14,130 Тут, понимаешь, такое дело...
- 00:16:14,380 --> 00:16:16,140 Нам просто кажется, что он...
- 00:16:16,390 --> 00:16:17,470 Мы его ненавидим!
- 00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:19,010 Да, ненавидим!
- 00:16:19,260 --> 00:16:22,180 Извини, Фибс
- 00:16:22,390 --> 00:16:25,730 Та-ак. Может, он просто настолько проницателен...
- 00:16:25,980 --> 00:16:27,560 ...что это приводит вас в ужас?
- 00:16:27,810 --> 00:16:29,570 Нет, мы его именно ненавидим!
- 00:16:29,820 --> 00:16:32,530 Извини
- 00:16:44,290 --> 00:16:45,920 Мама! Как ты здесь оказалась?
- 00:16:46,170 --> 00:16:48,210 Я приехала дать тебе это...
- 00:16:48,460 --> 00:16:49,790 ...и это!
- 00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:51,500 Блин, кольцом попала!
- 00:16:51,750 --> 00:16:54,720 Зачем ты забил отцу голову этой ерундой...
- 00:16:54,970 --> 00:16:57,590 ...про то, как надо поступать правильно?
- 00:16:57,840 --> 00:17:00,100 Все было хорошо так, как было!
- 00:17:00,350 --> 00:17:03,060 Там курица. Положи в холодильник
- 00:17:03,310 --> 00:17:07,690 Правда, Джои, бога ради!
- 00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:10,110 Стоп. Так ты знала?
- 00:17:10,360 --> 00:17:12,730 Конечно, я знала. А ты как думал?
- 00:17:12,980 --> 00:17:15,360 Твой отец не тянет на Джеймса Бонда
- 00:17:15,610 --> 00:17:17,450 Ты бы слышал его россказни
- 00:17:17,700 --> 00:17:19,950 "Я переночую у своего бухгалтера"
- 00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:22,450 Это нормально? Я тебя прошу!
- 00:17:22,700 --> 00:17:24,500 И как же ты тогда могла...?
- 00:17:24,750 --> 00:17:27,250 Ты помнишь, каким был твой отец?
- 00:17:27,500 --> 00:17:31,710 Вечно орал. Вечно был недоволен. Ничто его не радовало
- 00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:35,670 Ни его столярная мастерская, ни идиотские кораблики в бутылках
- 00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:37,430 А теперь он доволен
- 00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:41,800 Это же хорошо. У него есть хобби
- 00:17:42,850 --> 00:17:46,350 Мама, не хочу показаться грубым, но...
- 00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:49,650 ...что за чушь ты несешь?
- 00:17:49,900 --> 00:17:53,270 - Что это с тобой? - Со мной? Ничего.
- 00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:54,900 Слушай, милый...
- 00:17:55,150 --> 00:17:57,280 ...в идеальном мире...
- 00:17:57,530 --> 00:18:02,240 ...ее бы не было, а твой отец был бы похож на Стинга
- 00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:04,700 И вот что я еще тебе скажу:
- 00:18:04,950 --> 00:18:08,330 С тех пор, как у него появилась эта чучельных дел мастерица...
- 00:18:08,580 --> 00:18:12,840 ...ему так стыдно за себя, что он стал гораздо внимательнее
- 00:18:13,090 --> 00:18:15,210 Гораздо нежнее
- 00:18:15,460 --> 00:18:18,090 Как будто у нас каждый день годовщина свадьбы
- 00:18:18,340 --> 00:18:20,300 Ладно, поздравляю
- 00:18:20,550 --> 00:18:22,550 А вот не с чем!
- 00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:25,930 Потому что все это пошло прахом
- 00:18:26,180 --> 00:18:30,440 А я хочу, чтобы все было, как раньше
- 00:18:30,690 --> 00:18:33,560 Мам, ну извини
- 00:18:33,810 --> 00:18:37,280 Я просто думал, что так будет лучше для тебя
- 00:18:37,530 --> 00:18:42,990 Я знаю, солнышко. Я знаю
- 00:18:44,410 --> 00:18:46,950 Так скажи мне...
- 00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:49,710 Ты ее видел?
- 00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:54,300 Да ты раз в десять красивее, чем она
- 00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:57,430 Как мило
- 00:18:57,720 --> 00:19:00,520 Я бы смогла ее побить?
- 00:19:00,770 --> 00:19:04,520 С этим кольцом - как нечего делать!
- 00:19:07,150 --> 00:19:10,190 - Что такое, милая? - Да ничего...
- 00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:13,700 Что-то случилось! Выкладывай.
- 00:19:17,030 --> 00:19:18,740 Да ничего. Все в порядке
- 00:19:18,990 --> 00:19:20,950 Просто... Просто мои друзья
- 00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:23,870 У них проблема положительного восприятия тебя...
- 00:19:24,120 --> 00:19:25,330 ...в том плане...
- 00:19:25,580 --> 00:19:28,500 ...что его нет
- 00:19:30,590 --> 00:19:32,550 Я им не нравлюсь?
- 00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:34,050 Но знаешь...
- 00:19:34,300 --> 00:19:37,090 ...они же не видят все то чудесное, что вижу я
- 00:19:37,340 --> 00:19:40,850 Не видят всего хорошего, всего доброго
- 00:19:41,100 --> 00:19:43,270 Они думают, что ты немного...
- 00:19:43,520 --> 00:19:44,390 Какой?
- 00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:47,400 Злобный и подлый
- 00:19:50,060 --> 00:19:54,190 Но я так не думаю. Я, Фиби
- 00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:57,070 Я совсем не удивлен, что они так думают
- 00:19:57,320 --> 00:19:59,870 Ты не удивлен? Вот я и говорю - ты такой классный!
- 00:20:00,120 --> 00:20:02,240 Это совершенно типичное поведение...
- 00:20:02,490 --> 00:20:06,620 ...для группы, совершенно лишенной нормального взаимодействия
- 00:20:06,870 --> 00:20:09,500 Такая, знаешь, болезненная привязанность...
- 00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:11,420 ...на грани истеричности...
- 00:20:11,670 --> 00:20:16,800 ...все это сидение в идиотском кафе, с идиотскими большими чашками...
- 00:20:17,050 --> 00:20:21,600 ...на которые, извините, хоть бери и приклеивай сосок
- 00:20:21,850 --> 00:20:26,270 И все вы в один голос: "Определи меня! Реализуй меня!"
- 00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:30,560 "Люби меня! Мне не хватает любви!"
- 00:20:30,810 --> 00:20:32,400 Так ты поговорил с отцом?
- 00:20:32,650 --> 00:20:35,740 Он собирается и дальше изменять маме, как она хочет
- 00:20:35,990 --> 00:20:38,530 А мама будет и дальше притворяться, что не знает, хотя знает
- 00:20:38,780 --> 00:20:41,530 А моя сестричка Тина больше не может видеть своего мужа...
- 00:20:41,780 --> 00:20:44,410 ...потому что ей это запретил суд
- 00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:49,250 Одно к другому никак не относится, просто я сегодня узнал
- 00:20:49,500 --> 00:20:53,630 Семейные ценности - страшная сила
- 00:20:54,250 --> 00:20:55,800 Джои, ты как, нормально?
- 00:20:56,050 --> 00:20:57,170 Да, наверное
- 00:20:57,420 --> 00:20:59,680 Просто... Знаешь, они же родители
- 00:20:59,930 --> 00:21:03,140 В какой-то момент надо просто их отпустить
- 00:21:03,390 --> 00:21:04,720 Даже если лучше знаешь жизнь...
- 00:21:04,970 --> 00:21:07,430 ...надо позволить им делать свои собственные ошибки
- 00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:08,690 И подумай сам...
- 00:21:08,940 --> 00:21:11,060 ...через несколько лет мы сами превратимся в них
- 00:21:11,310 --> 00:21:12,690 Да ну тебя!
- 00:21:12,940 --> 00:21:15,980 У меня на выбор - превратиться в блондинку-алкоголичку...
- 00:21:16,230 --> 00:21:18,780 ...бегающую за 20-летними пацанами...
- 00:21:19,030 --> 00:21:22,370 ...или стать таким, как моя мама!
- 00:21:27,250 --> 00:21:29,410 Как дела?
- 00:21:29,660 --> 00:21:33,580 Все нормально. Вот, порвала с Роджером
- 00:21:34,250 --> 00:21:36,670 Да прямо!
- 00:21:39,220 --> 00:21:40,380 А что случилось?
- 00:21:40,630 --> 00:21:42,890 Сама не знаю. То есть...
- 00:21:43,140 --> 00:21:44,640 Он хороший человек...
- 00:21:44,890 --> 00:21:47,140 ...и умеет быть таким милым
- 00:21:47,390 --> 00:21:50,270 В каком-то смысле он идеально мне подходит
- 00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:51,520 Просто...
- 00:21:51,770 --> 00:21:54,480 Я его ненавижу!
- 00:22:03,030 --> 00:22:04,030 Что тут такое?
- 00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:06,910 Дайте дорогу фирменному экспрессу "Голые титьки"
- 00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:10,500 Следующая остановка - Рэйчел Грин
- 00:22:15,290 --> 00:22:17,920 Джои, что с тобой?
- 00:22:18,170 --> 00:22:22,010 Извини, ошибся титьками!
- 00:22:33,690 --> 00:22:36,360 Привет, Джои!
- 00:22:36,360 --> 00:22:39,110 Привет, лапочка!
- 00:22:39,940 --> 00:22:41,400 Перевод В.Бродового
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