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Эпизод с дюжиной лазаний
The One with the Dozen Lasagnas
Сезон: 01Серия: 12
Описание
Друзья сидят в центральной кофейне. Росс затягивает песенку, сначала её подхватывает Чендлер, а затем и все остальные. Позже Росс хочет начать новую песню, но Чендлер его останавливает. В квартире Моники и Рэйчел Росс, Джоуи, Фиби и Чендлер читают книги по материнству. Росс хвастается, что знает о родах и уходе за новорождённым всё: «Закиньте меня в любую утробу без компаса и я найду выход». Фиби вычитывает, что в некоторых странах люди едят плаценту. Моника возится на кухне с дюжиной лазаний, которые она приготовила для своей тёти Сильвии. Одновременно по телефону тётя кричит на неё, что ей не нужны обычные лазаньи, она не есть мяса и ей нужны были вегетарианские. Монике приходится придумывать куда деть столько еды. Приходят Рэйчел и Пауло. Они собираются в горы Поконо на выходные. Девчонки шепчутся о Пауло: Рэйчел расхваливает Пауло, она уверена, что это настоящие, серьёзные отношения. Параллельно парни тоже обсуждают эту тему: Росс ревнует и переживает, что Рэйчел до сих пор встречается с Пауло. Чендлер и Джоуи возвращаются в свою квартиру (с противнем лазаньи), Джоуи кидает ключи на обеденный столик и тот ломается. Перед ребятами встаёт вопрос о совместной покупке мебели. Росс приходит к Кэрол (с противнем лазаньи), чтобы узнать результаты теста амнеотической жидкости. Кэрол сообщает, что всё в порядке и, что она уже знает пол ребёнка. Но Росс не хочет знать, пока малыш не родится. Приходит Сьюзан, она понимает каким будет пол ребёнка и они с Кэрол очень этому рады. К Фиби на массаж приходи Пауло. Во время сеанса он трогает её за зад, а затем недвусмысленно предлагает ей заняться сексом. В кафе ребята обсуждают нежелание Росса знать пол ребёнка. Оказывается, его уже знают Кэрол, Сьюзан, Моника, а от неё Джоуи и так далее. Приходит расстроенная Фиби. Пока Рэйчел раздаёт заказы, Фиби рассказывает ребятам о произошедшем на массаже случае. Парни убеждают Фиби всё рассказать подруге. Джоуи и Чендлер не могоут определиться со столом для кухни: они ссорятся как семейная пара и вспоминают бывшего соседа Чендлера — Кипа. В итоге ребята покупают мини-футбол. При первой же игре Моника обставляет парней. Фиби приходит к Рэйчел чтобы рассказать о Пауло, та собирает вещи в Поконо. Фиби начинает из далека: сначала она говорит, что друзья для неё всегда на первом месте, затем, что она никогда не врёт, а потом угощает Рэйчел вкуснейшим самодельным овсяным печеньем с изюмом и только после этого говорит о Пауло. Когда появляется Пауло, Рэйчел выгоняет его, а все его вещи выкидывает с балкона. Друзья говорят «пару ласковых» Пауло на прощанье, а Моника всучивает ему противень с лазаньей. Росс пытается утешить Рэйчел, та говорит, что больше не хочет встречаться с парнями. Росс пытается её переубедить (пытаясь намекнуть на себя) и Рэйчел случайно проговаривается, что у него будет сын. Все радуются. В полтретьего ночи Моника снова выигрывает у парней в футболе. Они пытаются её выгнать, а она смеётся над их поражениями. Джоуи и Чендлер силой выносят Монику из квартиры и продолжают играть вдвоём.
Субтитры
- 00:00:10,844 --> 00:00:14,513 [ROSS SINGS THEME SONG FROM THE ODD COUPLE]
- 00:00:16,266 --> 00:00:18,976 [CHANDLER JOINS IN]
- 00:00:23,815 --> 00:00:26,692 [MONICA & PHOEBE JOIN IN]
- 00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:58,057 [SINGING THEME FROM I DREAM OF JEANNIE]
- 00:00:58,224 --> 00:00:59,975 No, no, we're done. We're done, man.
- 00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:51,777 Aunt Silv, stop yelling.
- 00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:54,571 All I'm saying is, if you had told me vegetarian lasagna...
- 00:01:54,739 --> 00:01:57,366 ...I would've made vegetarian lasagna.
- 00:01:59,077 --> 00:02:00,911 Well, the meat's only every third layer.
- 00:02:01,079 --> 00:02:03,080 Maybe you could scrape.
- 00:02:03,581 --> 00:02:05,916 Ross, did you really read all these baby books?
- 00:02:06,084 --> 00:02:09,586 Yep. You could plunk me down in the middle of any woman's uterus...
- 00:02:09,754 --> 00:02:11,713 ...no compass...
- 00:02:11,881 --> 00:02:13,882 ...and I could find my way out like that.
- 00:02:15,343 --> 00:02:16,593 Ooh, this is cool.
- 00:02:16,761 --> 00:02:20,222 It says in some parts of the world people actually eat the placenta.
- 00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:24,977 And we're done with the yogurt.
- 00:02:26,688 --> 00:02:27,729 Sorry.
- 00:02:28,439 --> 00:02:31,984 Aunt Silv, I did this as a favor. I am not a caterer.
- 00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:35,279 What do you want me to do with a dozen lasagnas?
- 00:02:36,197 --> 00:02:38,574 Nice talk, Aunt Silv.
- 00:02:39,033 --> 00:02:40,868 You kiss Uncle Freddie with that mouth?
- 00:02:42,620 --> 00:02:44,121 Hey, Ross, listen.
- 00:02:44,289 --> 00:02:47,332 Do you know that right now your baby is only this big?
- 00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:48,959 - This is your baby. - Heh.
- 00:02:49,127 --> 00:02:50,502 [IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE] Hi, Daddy.
- 00:02:50,670 --> 00:02:51,962 Hello.
- 00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:53,714 How come you don't live with Mommy?
- 00:02:56,342 --> 00:02:58,343 How come Mommy lives with that other lady?
- 00:03:04,058 --> 00:03:06,185 What's a lesbian?
- 00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:11,607 [SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]
- 00:03:11,774 --> 00:03:14,568 Honey, you can say it. It's Poconos. Poconos.
- 00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:18,197 It's like "poke a nose."
- 00:03:18,364 --> 00:03:19,823 Ah.
- 00:03:19,991 --> 00:03:23,160 Poke a nose.
- 00:03:24,579 --> 00:03:27,414 [IN UNISON] Blah, blah, blah.
- 00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:34,254 - So did I hear "Poconos"? - Yes.
- 00:03:34,422 --> 00:03:36,673 My sister's giving us her place for the weekend.
- 00:03:36,841 --> 00:03:39,343 Woo-hoo. First weekend away together.
- 00:03:39,510 --> 00:03:42,012 - Yeah, it's a big step. RACHEL: I know.
- 00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:44,431 It's just a weekend. Big deal.
- 00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:47,434 Wasn't this supposed to be just a fling, huh?
- 00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:49,519 Shouldn't it be...
- 00:03:49,687 --> 00:03:51,396 ...flung by now?
- 00:03:52,148 --> 00:03:54,274 I mean, we are way past the "fling" thing.
- 00:03:54,442 --> 00:03:56,235 I'm feeling things I've only read about...
- 00:03:56,402 --> 00:03:58,237 ...in Danielle Steel books, you know?
- 00:03:58,404 --> 00:04:01,448 I mean, when I'm with him, I'm just totally, totally...
- 00:04:01,616 --> 00:04:04,368 Nauseous. I'm physically nauseous.
- 00:04:05,453 --> 00:04:08,664 What am I supposed to do, huh? Call lmmigration?
- 00:04:09,832 --> 00:04:11,625 I could call lmmigration.
- 00:04:18,132 --> 00:04:21,718 I love babies with their little baby shoes...
- 00:04:21,886 --> 00:04:26,014 ...and their little baby toes and their little hands...
- 00:04:26,182 --> 00:04:28,308 Okay, you're gonna have to stop that...
- 00:04:28,476 --> 00:04:29,685 ...forever.
- 00:04:35,233 --> 00:04:36,566 [CLEARS THROAT]
- 00:04:39,779 --> 00:04:41,613 Need a new table.
- 00:04:41,990 --> 00:04:43,448 You think?
- 00:04:48,204 --> 00:04:49,871 [KNOCKING ON DOOR]
- 00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:52,958 CAROL: Hey, hey, hey. Come on in. - Hey. Hello.
- 00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:54,710 I brought the books...
- 00:04:54,877 --> 00:04:57,254 ...and Monica sends her love along with this lasagna.
- 00:04:57,422 --> 00:04:59,006 Oh, great.
- 00:04:59,549 --> 00:05:02,509 Is it vegetarian? Because Susan doesn't eat meat.
- 00:05:04,679 --> 00:05:07,347 I'm pretty sure that it is. Yeah.
- 00:05:08,891 --> 00:05:11,810 So I got the results of the amnio today.
- 00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:13,312 Oh, tell me. Is everything?
- 00:05:13,479 --> 00:05:14,938 Totally and completely healthy.
- 00:05:15,106 --> 00:05:17,691 - Oh, that's great. That is great. - Ha, ha.
- 00:05:19,027 --> 00:05:20,319 Ah.
- 00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:25,365 Hey. When did you and Susan meet Huey Lewis?
- 00:05:25,533 --> 00:05:27,993 Uh, that's our friend Tanya.
- 00:05:37,628 --> 00:05:39,963 Of course it's your friend Tanya.
- 00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:43,717 Don't you wanna know about the sex?
- 00:05:44,552 --> 00:05:46,094 The sex?
- 00:05:47,263 --> 00:05:51,683 Yeah, I'm having enough trouble with the image of you and Susan together.
- 00:05:51,851 --> 00:05:53,477 But when you throw in Tanya...
- 00:05:53,644 --> 00:05:54,853 [GROANS]
- 00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:59,441 The sex of the baby, Ross.
- 00:06:00,902 --> 00:06:02,778 Oh. You know the sex of the baby?
- 00:06:02,945 --> 00:06:04,488 - Uh-huh. - Oh, oh, oh!
- 00:06:05,156 --> 00:06:06,990 - Do you want to know? - No, no, no.
- 00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:09,368 No, I don't want to know. Absolutely not.
- 00:06:09,535 --> 00:06:12,287 No, I think you shouldn't know until you look down there...
- 00:06:12,455 --> 00:06:14,498 ...and see, "Oh, there it is."
- 00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:16,750 Or isn't.
- 00:06:18,294 --> 00:06:21,797 - Oh. Hello, Ross. - Susan.
- 00:06:21,964 --> 00:06:23,507 So?
- 00:06:23,674 --> 00:06:25,008 So did you hear?
- 00:06:25,176 --> 00:06:27,302 Yes, we did. Everything's A-okay.
- 00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:30,305 Oh, that's so cool.
- 00:06:31,432 --> 00:06:32,933 CAROL: It really is. Ha, ha.
- 00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:34,309 Do we know?
- 00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:37,229 - We certainly do. It's going to be a... - Hey, hey!
- 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:38,939 Ho, ho! Hello?
- 00:06:39,107 --> 00:06:41,691 See, a guy who doesn't wanna know standing right here.
- 00:06:41,984 --> 00:06:46,822 Oh. Ha, ha. Uh, well, is it what we thought it would be?
- 00:06:47,323 --> 00:06:49,241 - Mm-hm. - Aah!
- 00:06:53,538 --> 00:06:55,080 What?
- 00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:58,417 Okay, what did we think it' was gonna be? No, no, no.
- 00:06:58,584 --> 00:07:00,794 I don't want to know. Don't want to know. Okay.
- 00:07:00,962 --> 00:07:02,921 You know, I should probably just go.
- 00:07:03,464 --> 00:07:06,591 - Well, thanks for the books. - No problem. Okay.
- 00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:11,304 Susan.
- 00:07:16,727 --> 00:07:21,064 All right, who should we call first? Your folks or Deb and Rhona?
- 00:07:21,232 --> 00:07:22,315 [DOOR BUZZER]
- 00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:26,027 Hello?
- 00:07:26,195 --> 00:07:27,612 ROSS [OVER INTERCOM]: Uh...
- 00:07:28,364 --> 00:07:30,782 Never mind. I don't wanna know.
- 00:07:31,909 --> 00:07:35,036 Okay, so just because it was my table, I have to buy a new one?
- 00:07:35,204 --> 00:07:36,955 That's the rule.
- 00:07:37,999 --> 00:07:39,833 What rule? There's no rule.
- 00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:41,543 If anything, you owe me a table.
- 00:07:41,961 --> 00:07:45,088 - How did you get there? - I believe this piece of furniture was fine...
- 00:07:45,256 --> 00:07:47,966 ...until your little breakfast adventure with Angela Delveccio.
- 00:07:48,843 --> 00:07:49,926 You knew about that?
- 00:07:50,094 --> 00:07:51,761 The impressions you made in the butter...
- 00:07:51,929 --> 00:07:53,680 ...left little to the imagination.
- 00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:57,100 Okay, okay. How about if we split it?
- 00:07:58,186 --> 00:08:00,187 What do you mean, like, buy it together?
- 00:08:00,521 --> 00:08:01,605 Yeah.
- 00:08:01,772 --> 00:08:03,982 Do you think we're ready for something like that?
- 00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:07,110 - Why not? - Well, it's just a big commitment.
- 00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:09,821 I mean, what if one of us wants to move out?
- 00:08:10,114 --> 00:08:12,157 - Why, are you moving out? - I'm not moving out.
- 00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:14,409 You'd tell me if you were moving out, right?
- 00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:19,372 - Yes, it's just that, with my last roommate... - Oh, I know all about Kip.
- 00:08:19,540 --> 00:08:22,417 We bought a hibachi together, and then he ran off and got married...
- 00:08:22,585 --> 00:08:23,877 ...and things got pretty ugly.
- 00:08:24,921 --> 00:08:27,005 So let me ask you something.
- 00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:28,798 Was Kip a better roommate than me?
- 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:31,551 Oh, don't do that.
- 00:08:37,850 --> 00:08:39,809 You've got a couple changes in your schedule.
- 00:08:39,977 --> 00:08:43,396 Your 4:00 herbal massage has been pushed back to 4:30.
- 00:08:43,564 --> 00:08:46,566 And Ms. Summerfield canceled her 5:30 shiatsu.
- 00:08:46,734 --> 00:08:48,026 Okay. Thanks.
- 00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:50,237 Oh. Here comes your 3:00.
- 00:08:50,404 --> 00:08:53,240 I don't mean to sound unprofessional, but, yum.
- 00:08:56,077 --> 00:08:57,452 [SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]
- 00:08:57,745 --> 00:09:01,331 Oh. Paolo. Hi. What are you doing here?
- 00:09:02,124 --> 00:09:07,379 Uh, Rachella tell me you...
- 00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:08,880 ...massage?
- 00:09:09,048 --> 00:09:11,716 Yeah, well, Rachella's right. Yeah.
- 00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:14,010 [SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]
- 00:09:15,888 --> 00:09:16,972 Oh.
- 00:09:17,139 --> 00:09:19,766 Okay, I don't know what you just said, so let's just start.
- 00:09:20,726 --> 00:09:24,271 Uh, I am, uh...
- 00:09:24,438 --> 00:09:26,523 ...being naked?
- 00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:28,108 Um, that's really your decision.
- 00:09:28,609 --> 00:09:31,236 I mean, some people prefer, you know, to take off...
- 00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:34,364 Ooh, oops! Being naked.
- 00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:38,618 I can't believe you don't want to know. I mean, I could not know.
- 00:09:38,786 --> 00:09:42,372 I mean, if the doctor knows, and Carol knows, and Susan knows...
- 00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:44,416 And Monica knows.
- 00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:47,002 Heh. How could you? I don't even know.
- 00:09:47,169 --> 00:09:51,131 Carol called to thank me for the lasagna. I asked. She told me.
- 00:09:51,299 --> 00:09:52,757 So, what's it going to be?
- 00:09:52,925 --> 00:09:54,301 Whoa.
- 00:09:54,969 --> 00:09:57,804 Huh? Oh, great. Now he knows and I don't know.
- 00:09:57,972 --> 00:10:00,473 I'm sorry. I'm just excited about being an aunt.
- 00:10:00,641 --> 00:10:02,392 Or an uncle.
- 00:10:07,398 --> 00:10:09,566 GROUP: Hey, Phoebe. Hey, Pheebs.
- 00:10:09,734 --> 00:10:11,234 Fine.
- 00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:16,072 - Phoebe, what's the matter? - Nothing. I'm sorry.
- 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:18,074 I'm just... I'm out of sorts.
- 00:10:18,242 --> 00:10:20,410 Hey, can we get some cappuccino over here?
- 00:10:22,038 --> 00:10:23,872 Oh, right. That's me.
- 00:10:25,249 --> 00:10:28,418 Hey, Chandler. That table place closes at 7. Come on.
- 00:10:28,586 --> 00:10:29,753 Fine.
- 00:10:30,212 --> 00:10:33,131 Phoebe. What is it?
- 00:10:34,383 --> 00:10:38,053 - You know Paolo? - I'm familiar with his work, yes.
- 00:10:39,263 --> 00:10:40,513 Look, he made a move on me.
- 00:10:40,681 --> 00:10:43,767 - Whoa. The store will be open tomorrow. - More coffee over here, please.
- 00:10:50,691 --> 00:10:52,275 Well, what happened?
- 00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:54,319 Well, he came in for a massage...
- 00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:56,446 ...and everything was fine until...
- 00:10:59,992 --> 00:11:01,034 [GROUP GROANING]
- 00:11:01,202 --> 00:11:02,494 - My God. - Are you sure?
- 00:11:04,205 --> 00:11:05,413 Oh, yeah. I'm sure.
- 00:11:10,294 --> 00:11:14,005 And all of a sudden, his hands weren't the problem anymore.
- 00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:19,427 Was it?
- 00:11:19,595 --> 00:11:22,097 Oh, Boy Scouts could've camped under there.
- 00:11:22,598 --> 00:11:23,765 GROUP: Ooh.
- 00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:26,768 - "Ooh," what? - Ma Thurman.
- 00:11:26,936 --> 00:11:28,103 - Oh. - The actress.
- 00:11:28,270 --> 00:11:30,063 Uma Thurman!
- 00:11:31,023 --> 00:11:32,732 Thanks, Rach.
- 00:11:34,652 --> 00:11:36,611 - What are you gonna you do? - You have to tell her.
- 00:11:36,779 --> 00:11:39,531 You have to tell her. It's your moral obligation as a friend...
- 00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:43,076 ...as a woman. I think it's a feminist issue. Guys? Guys?
- 00:11:43,244 --> 00:11:45,120 Oh, yeah, you have to tell her.
- 00:11:45,287 --> 00:11:46,788 Feminist issue? That's where I went.
- 00:11:48,833 --> 00:11:50,083 She is gonna hate me.
- 00:11:50,251 --> 00:11:51,710 Yeah, well.
- 00:11:59,301 --> 00:12:01,428 Will you pick one? Just pick one.
- 00:12:01,595 --> 00:12:02,929 Here, how about that one?
- 00:12:03,681 --> 00:12:05,682 That's patio furniture.
- 00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:10,645 So what? Like people are gonna come in and think, "Uh-oh, I'm outside again."
- 00:12:10,813 --> 00:12:12,105 Fine.
- 00:12:12,523 --> 00:12:14,232 What about the birds?
- 00:12:15,651 --> 00:12:17,360 I don't know. Birds just don't say:
- 00:12:17,528 --> 00:12:20,196 "Hello, sit here. Eat something."
- 00:12:21,282 --> 00:12:22,782 You pick one.
- 00:12:22,950 --> 00:12:24,325 How about the ladybugs?
- 00:12:24,493 --> 00:12:28,705 Oh, so forget about the birds, but big red insects suggest fine dining?
- 00:12:29,290 --> 00:12:31,207 Fine. Do you want the birds? Get the birds.
- 00:12:31,375 --> 00:12:33,251 Not like that, I won't.
- 00:12:36,547 --> 00:12:37,839 Kip would've liked the birds.
- 00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:50,518 - Hey. - Hi, Pheebs.
- 00:12:50,936 --> 00:12:51,978 Are you moving out?
- 00:12:52,146 --> 00:12:54,189 No, these aren't all of my suitcases.
- 00:12:54,356 --> 00:12:56,107 This one's Paolo's.
- 00:12:56,275 --> 00:12:57,734 Um...
- 00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:01,571 Um, Rachel, can we talk for a sec?
- 00:13:02,281 --> 00:13:04,365 Well, sure. Just for a sec, though...
- 00:13:04,533 --> 00:13:06,785 ...because Paolo's on his way over. - Oh.
- 00:13:07,828 --> 00:13:09,954 Okay. Um...
- 00:13:10,664 --> 00:13:11,956 Okay.
- 00:13:12,124 --> 00:13:13,416 Um...
- 00:13:14,502 --> 00:13:15,585 - Oh, Pheebs... - Um, okay.
- 00:13:16,420 --> 00:13:21,174 Um, ahem. We haven't known each other for that long a time.
- 00:13:21,342 --> 00:13:24,177 And, um, there are three things that you should know about me.
- 00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:27,764 One, my friends are the most important thing in my life.
- 00:13:29,183 --> 00:13:31,351 Two, I never lie.
- 00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:35,480 And three, I make the best oatmeal-raisin cookies in the world.
- 00:13:38,359 --> 00:13:41,110 Okay. Thanks, Pheebs.
- 00:13:45,950 --> 00:13:47,992 Mm, my God.
- 00:13:49,203 --> 00:13:51,329 Why have I never tasted these before?
- 00:13:51,497 --> 00:13:52,789 Oh, I don't make them a lot...
- 00:13:52,957 --> 00:13:55,416 ...because I don't think it's fair to the other cookies.
- 00:13:59,421 --> 00:14:00,922 Ahem, God.
- 00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:05,635 Well, you're right. These are the best oatmeal-raisin cookies I've ever had.
- 00:14:05,803 --> 00:14:09,556 - Which proves that I never lie. - I guess you don't.
- 00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:11,307 Paolo made a pass at me.
- 00:14:14,645 --> 00:14:16,354 So, what do you think?
- 00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:18,773 I think it's the most beautiful table I've ever seen.
- 00:14:18,941 --> 00:14:20,400 I know.
- 00:14:20,568 --> 00:14:23,611 So how does this work? Gonna balance the plates on these little heads?
- 00:14:23,779 --> 00:14:26,197 Who cares? We'll eat at the sink. Come on.
- 00:14:28,617 --> 00:14:29,617 Heads up, Ross.
- 00:14:30,244 --> 00:14:32,662 Score! You suck.
- 00:14:35,749 --> 00:14:37,500 Are you okay?
- 00:14:40,254 --> 00:14:41,462 I need some milk.
- 00:14:43,924 --> 00:14:45,633 I've got milk.
- 00:14:50,848 --> 00:14:52,056 Here you go.
- 00:15:00,232 --> 00:15:01,733 Better?
- 00:15:03,402 --> 00:15:04,861 No.
- 00:15:07,072 --> 00:15:09,782 Ugh! I feel so stupid.
- 00:15:10,117 --> 00:15:12,201 I think about the other day, with you guys, you know.
- 00:15:12,369 --> 00:15:16,164 And I was all, "Oh, Paolo. He's so great.
- 00:15:16,332 --> 00:15:18,625 He makes me feel so..." Ugh!
- 00:15:18,792 --> 00:15:20,376 God.
- 00:15:20,544 --> 00:15:24,255 I'm so embarrassed.
- 00:15:24,423 --> 00:15:25,840 I'm the one he hit on.
- 00:15:26,008 --> 00:15:28,134 I unleashed him on you. If I'd never met him...
- 00:15:28,302 --> 00:15:29,719 ...this would've never happened.
- 00:15:29,887 --> 00:15:32,013 - I'm so sorry. - No, I'm sorry.
- 00:15:32,181 --> 00:15:33,431 BOTH: No, I'm sorry.
- 00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:34,974 Oh, wait. Oh.
- 00:15:35,142 --> 00:15:37,393 - What are we sorry about? - I don't know.
- 00:15:37,561 --> 00:15:39,604 Right. He's the pig.
- 00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:42,482 - Such a pig. - Oh, God, he's such a pig.
- 00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:46,235 - Oh, he's like a big disgusting pig... - Yeah, like a...
- 00:15:46,403 --> 00:15:48,738 - Pig man. - Yes, good. Okay.
- 00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:55,995 Oh, but he was my pig man.
- 00:15:57,331 --> 00:15:59,832 How did I not see this?
- 00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:02,794 Oh, I know!
- 00:16:05,381 --> 00:16:06,881 Because...
- 00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:08,925 ...he's gorgeous.
- 00:16:09,093 --> 00:16:10,760 And he's charming.
- 00:16:10,928 --> 00:16:13,554 - And when he looks at you... - Okay. Okay, Pheebs.
- 00:16:13,722 --> 00:16:15,223 The end.
- 00:16:16,809 --> 00:16:18,935 Ugh. God.
- 00:16:20,771 --> 00:16:22,939 Should I not have told you?
- 00:16:23,607 --> 00:16:26,943 No, trust me, it's much better that I know.
- 00:16:30,155 --> 00:16:34,450 Uh, I just liked it better before. It was better.
- 00:16:50,926 --> 00:16:52,176 I think she took it pretty well.
- 00:16:52,886 --> 00:16:54,887 You know, Paolo's over there right now, so...
- 00:16:55,055 --> 00:16:57,348 Yeah, we should get over there and see if she's okay.
- 00:16:57,516 --> 00:16:59,517 Just one second.
- 00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:02,603 - Whoo! Score. - Game. Us.
- 00:17:02,771 --> 00:17:04,022 Yes.
- 00:17:05,482 --> 00:17:06,899 Come on, Pheebs.
- 00:17:07,067 --> 00:17:08,234 Whoo.
- 00:17:08,402 --> 00:17:11,279 Well, it looks like, uh, we kicked your butts.
- 00:17:11,447 --> 00:17:12,697 No, no. She kicked our butts.
- 00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:15,491 You could be on the Olympic "Standing There" team.
- 00:17:15,951 --> 00:17:17,160 Come on. Two on one.
- 00:17:17,411 --> 00:17:20,079 What are you still doing here? She just broke up with the guy.
- 00:17:20,247 --> 00:17:21,581 It's time for you to swoop in.
- 00:17:23,083 --> 00:17:24,500 What? Now?
- 00:17:24,668 --> 00:17:26,294 Yes. Now is when you swoop.
- 00:17:26,462 --> 00:17:28,296 You gotta make sure that when Paolo walks out...
- 00:17:28,464 --> 00:17:30,173 ...the first guy Rachel sees is you.
- 00:17:30,340 --> 00:17:32,842 She's got to know that you're everything he's not.
- 00:17:33,010 --> 00:17:34,969 You're like... Like the anti-Paolo.
- 00:17:36,930 --> 00:17:38,681 My Catholic friend is right.
- 00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:41,350 She's distraught. You're there for her.
- 00:17:41,518 --> 00:17:44,729 You pick up the pieces, and then you usher in:
- 00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:47,273 The Age of Ross.
- 00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:54,280 [PAOLO SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]
- 00:17:54,448 --> 00:17:55,448 RACHEL: See this? See?
- 00:17:55,616 --> 00:17:57,116 [SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]
- 00:18:00,370 --> 00:18:02,246 - How's it going? MONICA: Don't stare.
- 00:18:02,414 --> 00:18:04,874 She just finished throwing his clothes off the balcony.
- 00:18:05,042 --> 00:18:07,376 Now there's just a lot of gesturing and arm-waving.
- 00:18:07,544 --> 00:18:11,214 Okay, that is either, "How could you?" Or "Enormous breasts."
- 00:18:13,175 --> 00:18:14,675 Here he comes.
- 00:18:23,644 --> 00:18:27,313 Uh, I am, uh...
- 00:18:27,481 --> 00:18:28,773 ...to say goodbye.
- 00:18:29,149 --> 00:18:30,983 Oh, okay, bye-bye.
- 00:18:34,154 --> 00:18:35,696 Paolo.
- 00:18:35,864 --> 00:18:39,283 I really hate you for what you did to Rachel. But I still have five of these...
- 00:18:39,451 --> 00:18:42,453 ...so heat it at 375 until the cheese bubbles.
- 00:18:44,373 --> 00:18:45,998 [SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]
- 00:18:47,417 --> 00:18:48,918 Paolo, I just wanna tell you...
- 00:18:49,086 --> 00:18:53,005 ...and I think I'd speak for everyone when I say...
- 00:18:58,762 --> 00:19:00,847 PHOEBE: Oh. Just look at her.
- 00:19:01,014 --> 00:19:04,016 Oh, you guys, I really think only one of us should go out there...
- 00:19:04,184 --> 00:19:06,060 ...so she's not overwhelmed. - Oh, right.
- 00:19:06,228 --> 00:19:08,938 And I really think it should be me.
- 00:19:22,035 --> 00:19:23,828 BOTH: Hey.
- 00:19:25,581 --> 00:19:26,998 You all right?
- 00:19:27,457 --> 00:19:30,585 Oh. I've been better.
- 00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:33,588 [SIGHS]
- 00:19:34,506 --> 00:19:35,631 Come here.
- 00:19:42,973 --> 00:19:44,265 Listen...
- 00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:46,893 ...you deserve so much better than him.
- 00:19:47,060 --> 00:19:49,645 You know? I mean, you...
- 00:19:50,314 --> 00:19:53,983 You should be with a guy who knows what he has when he has you.
- 00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:56,944 Ross...
- 00:19:57,988 --> 00:19:59,238 What?
- 00:19:59,990 --> 00:20:02,617 I'm so sick of guys.
- 00:20:03,327 --> 00:20:05,411 I don't want to look at another guy.
- 00:20:05,579 --> 00:20:07,914 I don't want to think about another guy.
- 00:20:08,081 --> 00:20:11,292 I don't even want to be near another guy.
- 00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:12,877 [RACHEL SIGHS]
- 00:20:14,588 --> 00:20:15,963 Huh.
- 00:20:18,759 --> 00:20:21,886 - Ross, you're so great. - Oh, ha, ha.
- 00:20:32,314 --> 00:20:34,857 MONICA: Are you all right? PHOEBE: Are you okay?
- 00:20:35,025 --> 00:20:36,692 Medium. Heh.
- 00:20:36,860 --> 00:20:39,362 - Any cookies left? - Yeah.
- 00:20:41,323 --> 00:20:43,115 Heh. See, Rach, um...
- 00:20:43,283 --> 00:20:47,703 See, I don't think swearing off guys altogether is the answer. I really don't.
- 00:20:47,871 --> 00:20:52,625 I think what you need is to develop a more sophisticated screening process.
- 00:20:53,418 --> 00:20:56,796 No. No. I just need to be by myself for a while.
- 00:20:56,964 --> 00:20:58,839 You know? I just gotta figure out what I want.
- 00:20:59,007 --> 00:21:01,175 No, no.
- 00:21:01,510 --> 00:21:05,680 See, because not all guys out there are gonna be a Paolo.
- 00:21:05,847 --> 00:21:07,723 No, I know. I know.
- 00:21:07,891 --> 00:21:11,686 And I'm sure your little boy's not gonna grow up to be one.
- 00:21:13,063 --> 00:21:15,106 - What? - What?
- 00:21:16,942 --> 00:21:19,068 [STAMMERING] I'm having a boy?
- 00:21:19,236 --> 00:21:20,861 Uh, no.
- 00:21:22,906 --> 00:21:25,866 No. In fact, you're not having a boy.
- 00:21:26,034 --> 00:21:28,119 I'm having a boy.
- 00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:30,746 [STAMMERING] Am I having a boy?
- 00:21:31,540 --> 00:21:33,791 - You're having a boy. - Aah!
- 00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:36,502 - I'm having a boy. I'm having a boy. - Yes!
- 00:21:36,670 --> 00:21:37,795 - What? - What is it?
- 00:21:37,963 --> 00:21:40,339 I'm having a boy. I'm having a boy.
- 00:21:40,507 --> 00:21:41,966 Hey.
- 00:21:44,052 --> 00:21:45,970 [IN UNISON] We already knew that.
- 00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:50,891 I'm having a son.
- 00:21:53,603 --> 00:21:54,937 Um...
- 00:21:58,859 --> 00:22:01,652 Yes. And that would be a shutdown.
- 00:22:01,820 --> 00:22:03,112 [IN UNISON] Shutout!
- 00:22:06,491 --> 00:22:09,118 Where you guys going? Come on, one more game.
- 00:22:09,286 --> 00:22:12,621 - Oh. It's 2:30 in the morning. - Yeah. Get out.
- 00:22:12,998 --> 00:22:16,000 You guys are always hanging out in my apartment.
- 00:22:16,168 --> 00:22:18,711 Come on, I'll only use my left hand, huh?
- 00:22:18,879 --> 00:22:20,963 Come on, wussies.
- 00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:27,386 - All right. Okay. I gotta go. - Mm-hm.
- 00:22:27,554 --> 00:22:28,971 I'm going.
- 00:22:29,139 --> 00:22:30,931 And I'm gone.
- 00:22:33,352 --> 00:22:35,186 - One more game? - Oh, yeah.
- 00:22:42,152 --> 00:22:44,153 [English - US - SDH]
- 00:00:58,220 --> 00:01:00,800 Нет, нет, хватит! Закончили
- 00:01:02,930 --> 00:01:05,430 1-й сезон, 12-я серия "Лазаньи"
- 00:01:49,390 --> 00:01:51,770 Тетя Сильвия, хватит орать!
- 00:01:52,020 --> 00:01:54,810 Если бы вы заказали вегетарианскую лазанью...
- 00:01:55,060 --> 00:01:58,820 ...я бы и сделала вегетарианскую лазанью
- 00:01:59,070 --> 00:02:00,900 Мясо там только в каждом третьем слое
- 00:02:01,150 --> 00:02:03,410 Вы могли бы его соскрести
- 00:02:03,660 --> 00:02:06,620 Росс, ты правда читал все эти книжки про детей?
- 00:02:06,870 --> 00:02:11,580 Ага. Если хочешь, закинь меня в матку любой женщины, без компаса...
- 00:02:11,830 --> 00:02:15,130 ...и я выберусь оттуда только так!
- 00:02:15,380 --> 00:02:16,460 А вот интересно
- 00:02:16,710 --> 00:02:21,760 В некоторых странах мира есть обычай съедать плаценту
- 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:26,430 Ну вот, покушали йогурту
- 00:02:26,890 --> 00:02:28,180 Извини
- 00:02:28,430 --> 00:02:31,810 Тетя Сильвия, я сделала вам одолжение. Я к вам не нанималась
- 00:02:32,060 --> 00:02:35,940 Куда мне, по-вашему, девать целых двенадцать лазаний?
- 00:02:36,190 --> 00:02:38,770 Остро сказано, тетя Сильвия
- 00:02:39,020 --> 00:02:42,400 А потом вы этими же губами дядю Фредди целуете?
- 00:02:42,610 --> 00:02:44,110 Эй, Росс, слушай
- 00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:47,320 Ты знаешь, что твой ребенок сейчас вот такусенький?
- 00:02:47,570 --> 00:02:50,240 Это твой ребенок. "Привет, папка!"
- 00:02:50,490 --> 00:02:51,870 Привет
- 00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:55,250 "А почему ты не живешь с мамой?"
- 00:02:56,330 --> 00:02:59,880 "Почему мама живет с той другой тетенькой?"
- 00:03:04,050 --> 00:03:07,390 "И что такое лесбиянка?"
- 00:03:11,390 --> 00:03:14,310 Милый, ты сможешь это сказать. Поконос. Поконос.
- 00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:19,650 Совсем как "пык" в нос
- 00:03:20,020 --> 00:03:24,610 "Пык" в нос
- 00:03:31,290 --> 00:03:34,120 Так здесь прозвучало "Поконос"?
- 00:03:34,370 --> 00:03:37,790 Да, моя сестра дает нам свою дачу на выходные
- 00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:39,290 Первые выходные вместе
- 00:03:39,540 --> 00:03:42,670 - Да, это большой шаг. - Ага.
- 00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:44,380 Просто выходные. Большое дело
- 00:03:44,630 --> 00:03:47,300 Разве все это не задумывалось как легкий флирт?
- 00:03:47,550 --> 00:03:49,470 Не слишком ли он...
- 00:03:49,720 --> 00:03:51,890 ...потяжелел?
- 00:03:52,140 --> 00:03:53,970 У нас уже давно не просто флирт
- 00:03:54,220 --> 00:03:58,100 Я чувствую такое, о чем только читала в женских романах
- 00:03:58,350 --> 00:04:01,440 Когда я с ним, я такая, такая...
- 00:04:01,690 --> 00:04:05,190 Тошнотворная. Меня физически тошнит
- 00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:09,570 Что мне делать? Позвонить в иммиграционную службу?
- 00:04:09,820 --> 00:04:13,160 А кстати, можно было бы
- 00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:21,670 Обожаю деток, эти их маленькие ножки...
- 00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:25,920 ...и маленькие пальчики, и крохотные ручки...
- 00:04:26,170 --> 00:04:28,300 Тебе придется это прекратить...
- 00:04:28,550 --> 00:04:31,010 ...навсегда
- 00:04:39,770 --> 00:04:41,730 Нам нужен новый стол
- 00:04:41,980 --> 00:04:44,690 Ты думаешь?
- 00:04:50,530 --> 00:04:52,910 - Привет. Проходи. - Привет.
- 00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:54,620 Я тут принес книги...
- 00:04:54,870 --> 00:04:57,580 ...а Моника передает привет вместе с этой лазаньей
- 00:04:57,830 --> 00:04:59,210 Отлично!
- 00:04:59,460 --> 00:05:04,090 А она вегетарианская? А то Сюзан не ест мяса
- 00:05:04,670 --> 00:05:08,470 Уверен, что вегетарианская
- 00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:11,760 Я сегодня получила результаты анализов
- 00:05:12,010 --> 00:05:13,260 Ну, говори. Всё...?
- 00:05:13,510 --> 00:05:14,890 Совершенно, стопроцентно здоровы
- 00:05:15,140 --> 00:05:19,100 Замечательно! Отлично!
- 00:05:22,980 --> 00:05:25,690 Ого! У вас с Сюзан есть знакомый борец сумо?
- 00:05:25,940 --> 00:05:29,530 Это наша подруга Таня
- 00:05:37,620 --> 00:05:41,420 Точно, как я не догадался
- 00:05:42,290 --> 00:05:44,290 А тебя не интересует половой вопрос?
- 00:05:44,540 --> 00:05:47,340 Половой вопрос?
- 00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:51,550 Как подумаю о вас с Сюзан, мне и то неловко
- 00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:55,720 А тут еще и Таня... Мама родная!
- 00:05:57,010 --> 00:06:00,600 Пол ребенка, Росс
- 00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:04,310 Ты знаешь пол ребенка?
- 00:06:05,150 --> 00:06:06,860 А ты хочешь знать?
- 00:06:07,110 --> 00:06:09,280 Я не хочу знать. Совершенно
- 00:06:09,530 --> 00:06:12,320 Я думаю, знать не нужно, пока не посмотришь вниз...
- 00:06:12,570 --> 00:06:14,950 ...и не скажешь: "Ой, вот же он..."
- 00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:18,120 ...или нет его
- 00:06:19,450 --> 00:06:21,790 - Привет, Росс. - Сюзан.
- 00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:23,500 Ну?
- 00:06:23,750 --> 00:06:24,960 Ты узнала?
- 00:06:25,210 --> 00:06:27,250 Да, мы узнали. Все идет отлично
- 00:06:27,500 --> 00:06:31,170 Как здорово!
- 00:06:31,420 --> 00:06:33,050 Правда, здорово
- 00:06:33,300 --> 00:06:34,300 И мы знаем?
- 00:06:34,550 --> 00:06:37,600 Мы знаем точно. Это будет...
- 00:06:37,850 --> 00:06:38,890 Аллё?
- 00:06:39,140 --> 00:06:43,230 Здесь стоит человек, который не хочет знать
- 00:06:43,730 --> 00:06:48,400 Ну, это то, что мы и предполагали?
- 00:06:53,530 --> 00:06:55,320 Что...?
- 00:06:55,570 --> 00:06:58,410 А что мы предполагали?
- 00:06:58,490 --> 00:07:00,790 Нет-нет, я не хочу знать. Знать не хочу
- 00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:03,210 Пожалуй, мне стоит просто уйти
- 00:07:03,460 --> 00:07:07,130 - Ну... спасибо за книги. - Не за что.
- 00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:12,840 Сюзан
- 00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:22,680 Ну что, кому мы позвоним первыми? Твоим или Деборе с Роной?
- 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:31,650 Да нет, ничего. Не хочу я знать
- 00:07:31,900 --> 00:07:35,030 Из-за того, что это был мой стол, теперь я должен покупать новый?
- 00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:37,660 Такие правила
- 00:07:37,990 --> 00:07:39,830 Какие правила? Нет никаких правил
- 00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:41,660 А если есть, тогда ты должен мне стол
- 00:07:41,910 --> 00:07:42,700 Как это так получается?
- 00:07:42,950 --> 00:07:44,870 По-моему, этот предмет мебели был целым...
- 00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:48,580 ...до твоего бурного завтрака с Анджелой Дельвеккио
- 00:07:48,830 --> 00:07:49,880 Так ты знал об этом?
- 00:07:50,130 --> 00:07:55,260 Следы, которые ты наляпал маслом, не оставляли места воображению
- 00:07:55,300 --> 00:07:57,930 Ладно, что если нам скинуться?
- 00:07:58,180 --> 00:08:01,720 То есть в смысле купить его вместе?
- 00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:04,560 Ты думаешь, мы готовы к подобному шагу?
- 00:08:04,810 --> 00:08:05,640 Почему бы и нет?
- 00:08:05,890 --> 00:08:09,860 Это же такая ответственность. Что если кто-то из нас выедет?
- 00:08:10,110 --> 00:08:12,150 - Ты выезжаешь? - Я не выезжаю.
- 00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:14,320 Ты бы сказал мне, если бы выезжал?
- 00:08:14,570 --> 00:08:19,320 - Да. Просто мой последний сосед... - Помню я этого Кипа.
- 00:08:19,570 --> 00:08:22,700 Мы вместе купили мангал, а потом он женился и уехал...
- 00:08:22,950 --> 00:08:24,660 ...и получилось некрасиво
- 00:08:24,910 --> 00:08:26,960 Можно задать тебе вопрос?
- 00:08:27,210 --> 00:08:29,540 Кип был лучшим соседом, чем я?
- 00:08:29,790 --> 00:08:32,170 Не надо начинать об этом
- 00:08:37,840 --> 00:08:39,890 У тебя в расписании пара изменений
- 00:08:40,140 --> 00:08:43,310 Массаж с травами перенесли с 4:00 на 4:30
- 00:08:43,560 --> 00:08:46,520 А миссис Саммерфилд отменила сеанс шиацу в 5:30
- 00:08:46,770 --> 00:08:48,640 Спасибо
- 00:08:48,890 --> 00:08:50,190 А вот твой трехчасовой сеанс
- 00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:54,780 Это прозвучит непрофессионально, но... Ням-ням!
- 00:08:58,490 --> 00:09:02,870 Паоло! Привет! Как ты здесь оказался?
- 00:09:03,450 --> 00:09:07,370 Ракелла сказала мне, что ты...
- 00:09:07,620 --> 00:09:08,830 ...массажэ?
- 00:09:09,080 --> 00:09:12,920 Здесь Ракелла права
- 00:09:17,670 --> 00:09:21,300 Не понимаю, что ты сказал, поэтому просто начнем
- 00:09:22,430 --> 00:09:24,300 Я есть...
- 00:09:24,560 --> 00:09:26,560 ...раздеться голый
- 00:09:26,810 --> 00:09:28,060 Это тебе решать
- 00:09:28,310 --> 00:09:32,150 Некоторые снимают только...
- 00:09:32,690 --> 00:09:35,020 Раздеться голый!
- 00:09:35,270 --> 00:09:38,490 Как ты можешь не хотеть знать? Я бы не смогла не знать
- 00:09:38,740 --> 00:09:42,360 Если врач знает, и Кэрол знает, и Сюзан знает...
- 00:09:42,610 --> 00:09:45,030 И Моника знает
- 00:09:45,620 --> 00:09:46,990 Как ты могла? Даже я не знаю
- 00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:49,120 Кэрол звонила сказать спасибо за лазанью
- 00:09:49,370 --> 00:09:51,000 Я спросила. Она ответила
- 00:09:51,250 --> 00:09:54,290 Так какой будет пол?
- 00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:57,760 Прекрасно. Теперь он знает, а я нет
- 00:09:58,010 --> 00:10:00,340 Извини. Я так радуюсь, что стану теткой
- 00:10:00,590 --> 00:10:03,340 Или дядькой
- 00:10:07,560 --> 00:10:09,480 - Привет, Фиби! - Привет, Фибс!
- 00:10:09,730 --> 00:10:12,100 Я поняла!
- 00:10:13,980 --> 00:10:14,810 Фиби, в чем дело?
- 00:10:15,060 --> 00:10:18,070 Ничего! Извините. Я просто не в себе
- 00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:21,950 Эй, можно нам сюда капучино?
- 00:10:22,030 --> 00:10:25,240 А, ну да! Это меня!
- 00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:28,330 Эй, Чендлер, мебельный работает до семи. Идем
- 00:10:28,580 --> 00:10:31,290 Пошли
- 00:10:31,580 --> 00:10:34,210 Фиби, в чем дело?
- 00:10:34,380 --> 00:10:35,250 Знаешь Паоло?
- 00:10:35,500 --> 00:10:39,000 Да, я знаком с его трудами
- 00:10:39,250 --> 00:10:40,680 Он ко мне приставал
- 00:10:40,680 --> 00:10:41,050 - Кстати, магазин работает и завтра. - Еще кофе, пожалуйста. Он ко мне приставал
- 00:10:41,050 --> 00:10:44,720 - Кстати, магазин работает и завтра. - Еще кофе, пожалуйста.
- 00:10:50,690 --> 00:10:52,020 Как было дело?
- 00:10:52,270 --> 00:10:54,020 Он пришел ко мне на массаж...
- 00:10:54,270 --> 00:10:57,820 И все было нормально, пока...
- 00:11:00,650 --> 00:11:01,490 Вот это да!
- 00:11:01,740 --> 00:11:03,780 Ты уверена?
- 00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:06,950 О да. Вполне уверена
- 00:11:10,290 --> 00:11:15,710 И внезапно его руки перестали быть главной проблемой
- 00:11:18,380 --> 00:11:19,220 А он был...?
- 00:11:19,470 --> 00:11:23,640 Да под ним бойскауты могли бы лагерь поставить
- 00:11:24,220 --> 00:11:25,770 "Ууу" что?
- 00:11:26,020 --> 00:11:27,060 - Ма Турман.
- 00:11:27,310 --> 00:11:30,560 - Актриса! - Ума Турман!
- 00:11:30,810 --> 00:11:33,190 Спасибо, Рэйч
- 00:11:34,860 --> 00:11:36,650 - Что будешь делать? - Надо ей сказать.
- 00:11:36,900 --> 00:11:39,400 Необходимо! Это твой моральный долг как подруги...
- 00:11:39,650 --> 00:11:41,320 ...и как женщины. Тут затронут феминизм
- 00:11:41,570 --> 00:11:43,160 Да, ребята?
- 00:11:43,410 --> 00:11:45,160 Да, надо ей сказать
- 00:11:45,410 --> 00:11:48,330 Феминизм? Как раз к этому я и вел
- 00:11:48,830 --> 00:11:51,620 - Она меня возненавидит! - Ну что ж.
- 00:11:59,300 --> 00:12:01,340 Выбери уже! Хоть какой-нибудь
- 00:12:01,590 --> 00:12:03,430 Вот, например, можно этот!
- 00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:05,930 Это мебель для патио
- 00:12:06,180 --> 00:12:06,970 Ну и что?
- 00:12:07,220 --> 00:12:10,600 Как будто кто-то зайдет и подумает: "Ой, я опять вышел во двор."
- 00:12:10,850 --> 00:12:12,270 Ладно
- 00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:15,400 Может, с птичками?
- 00:12:15,650 --> 00:12:17,190 Не знаю. Птички не говорят...
- 00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:21,030 ..."Привет, садись, угощайся."
- 00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:22,780 Выбирай сам
- 00:12:23,030 --> 00:12:24,370 Может, с божьими коровками?
- 00:12:24,620 --> 00:12:28,700 Значит, птички - отказать, а большие красные жуки возбуждают аппетит?
- 00:12:28,950 --> 00:12:31,160 Ладно! Хочешь птичек? Бери птичек!
- 00:12:31,410 --> 00:12:34,750 Нет, так они мне не нужны
- 00:12:36,540 --> 00:12:39,380 А Кипу бы птички понравились
- 00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:50,770 Привет, Фибс
- 00:12:51,020 --> 00:12:51,980 Ты выезжаешь?
- 00:12:52,230 --> 00:12:54,270 Нет, эти чемоданы - не все мои
- 00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:57,480 Этот - Паоло
- 00:12:59,730 --> 00:13:02,650 Рэйчел, можно с тобой поговорить?
- 00:13:02,900 --> 00:13:03,700 Конечно
- 00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:07,910 Только быстро, Паоло уже едет
- 00:13:18,630 --> 00:13:21,880 Мы друг друга не так давно знаем
- 00:13:22,130 --> 00:13:24,470 Тебе надо знать обо мне три вещи
- 00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:28,930 Первое: друзья для меня - самое главное в жизни
- 00:13:29,180 --> 00:13:31,560 Второе: я никогда не вру
- 00:13:31,810 --> 00:13:37,020 И третье: я делаю лучшее в мире овсяное печенье с изюмом
- 00:13:40,190 --> 00:13:42,650 Спасибо, Фибс
- 00:13:46,360 --> 00:13:48,950 Боже ж ты мой!
- 00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:51,290 Почему я раньше его не пробовала?
- 00:13:51,540 --> 00:13:56,960 Я нечасто его пеку, чтобы не обижать другие сорта печенья
- 00:14:02,550 --> 00:14:05,590 Ты права. Это лучшее овсяное печенье с изюмом в мире
- 00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:07,340 И это доказывает, что я не вру
- 00:14:07,590 --> 00:14:09,680 Наверное, таки не врешь
- 00:14:09,930 --> 00:14:12,850 Паоло ко мне приставал
- 00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:16,190 Ну, что скажете?
- 00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:18,730 Это самый красивый стол, какой я видел в жизни
- 00:14:18,980 --> 00:14:20,020 Именно
- 00:14:20,270 --> 00:14:23,360 А как вы будете ставить тарелки на эти маленькие головки?
- 00:14:23,610 --> 00:14:25,110 По фигу! Будем есть над раковиной!
- 00:14:25,360 --> 00:14:27,740 Ну давайте!
- 00:14:28,610 --> 00:14:30,030 Внимание, Росс
- 00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:31,160 Гол!
- 00:14:31,410 --> 00:14:34,160 Пижоны!
- 00:14:35,790 --> 00:14:38,620 Ты как, нормально?
- 00:14:40,250 --> 00:14:43,000 Мне нужно молока
- 00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:46,800 А у меня есть молоко
- 00:14:50,850 --> 00:14:53,220 Вот
- 00:15:00,310 --> 00:15:02,690 Лучше?
- 00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:04,530 Нет
- 00:15:07,070 --> 00:15:10,070 Я такая дура!
- 00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:12,370 Я вспоминаю, как на днях мы сидели с вами
- 00:15:12,620 --> 00:15:16,120 А я такая, "Ой, Паоло! Он такой классный!"
- 00:15:16,370 --> 00:15:18,620 "У меня от него прямо..."
- 00:15:18,870 --> 00:15:20,420 О боже!
- 00:15:20,670 --> 00:15:22,210 Мне так стыдно!
- 00:15:22,460 --> 00:15:24,250 Это мне стыдно
- 00:15:24,500 --> 00:15:25,800 Это ко мне он приставал
- 00:15:26,050 --> 00:15:27,630 Фиби, это я его натравила
- 00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:29,630 Если бы я с ним не познакомилась, этого бы...
- 00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:33,550 - Прости меня. - Нет, это ты меня прости.
- 00:15:33,810 --> 00:15:34,890 Стоп!
- 00:15:35,140 --> 00:15:37,350 - Чего мы извиняемся? - Не знаю.
- 00:15:37,600 --> 00:15:39,560 Правильно. Это он - свинья
- 00:15:39,810 --> 00:15:42,520 - Такая свинья! - О боже, какая свинья!
- 00:15:42,770 --> 00:15:46,230 Огромная отвратительная свинья...
- 00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:50,320 - Кабанище! - Да, точно!
- 00:15:53,030 --> 00:15:56,120 Но это был мой кабан!
- 00:15:57,330 --> 00:16:01,040 Как я этого не увидела?
- 00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:03,750 А я знаю!
- 00:16:05,380 --> 00:16:07,130 Потому что...
- 00:16:07,380 --> 00:16:08,880 ...он такой роскошный
- 00:16:09,130 --> 00:16:10,720 И обаятельный
- 00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:13,510 - А когда посмотрит на тебя... - Все, хватит.
- 00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:16,260 Молчу, молчу
- 00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:20,180 Боже мой!
- 00:16:20,770 --> 00:16:23,350 Может, не надо было говорить?
- 00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:28,480 Поверь мне, гораздо лучше знать
- 00:16:30,150 --> 00:16:35,700 Но раньше мне больше нравилось, как было раньше. Тогда было лучше
- 00:16:50,920 --> 00:16:52,630 Я думаю, она приняла это нормально
- 00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:54,840 Там сейчас Паоло, так что...
- 00:16:55,090 --> 00:16:57,010 Надо пойти и посмотреть, все ли в порядке
- 00:16:57,260 --> 00:17:00,640 Одну секунду
- 00:17:00,890 --> 00:17:01,680 Гол!
- 00:17:01,930 --> 00:17:04,900 Мы победили!
- 00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:07,980 Я пошла
- 00:17:09,570 --> 00:17:11,240 Похоже, мы вас вздули
- 00:17:11,490 --> 00:17:12,490 Нет, она нас вздула
- 00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:15,700 А ты - олимпийский чемпион по стоянию в сторонке
- 00:17:15,950 --> 00:17:17,160 Ну давайте. Двое на одного
- 00:17:17,410 --> 00:17:19,910 Чего ты до сих пор здесь? Она только что бросила парня
- 00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:22,830 Пора тебе хватать добычу
- 00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:24,790 Что, сейчас?
- 00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:26,250 Именно сейчас и именно хватать
- 00:17:26,500 --> 00:17:30,170 Когда Паоло оттуда выйдет, ты должен первым попасться ей на глаза
- 00:17:30,420 --> 00:17:32,670 Она должна понять, что ты - это все то, чего нет в нем
- 00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:36,510 Ты типа как анти-Паоло
- 00:17:36,930 --> 00:17:39,060 Мой католический друг прав
- 00:17:39,310 --> 00:17:41,220 Она в смятении. А ты приходишь на помощь
- 00:17:41,470 --> 00:17:44,600 Склеиваешь ее из кусочков, а затем...
- 00:17:44,850 --> 00:17:49,230 ...возвещаещь начало "Россовского периода"
- 00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:58,740 Подожди! Асколта!
- 00:18:00,370 --> 00:18:02,200 - Как там дела? - Не надо пялиться.
- 00:18:02,450 --> 00:18:04,870 Она уже закончила бросать его шмотки с балкона
- 00:18:05,120 --> 00:18:07,380 Теперь только рожи корчит и руками машет
- 00:18:07,630 --> 00:18:12,760 А это было либо "Как ты мог!", либо "Вот такенные сиськи!"
- 00:18:13,170 --> 00:18:15,550 А вот и он
- 00:18:25,390 --> 00:18:27,150 Я здесь...
- 00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:29,400 ...сказать "прощай"
- 00:18:29,650 --> 00:18:32,400 Прощай так прощай
- 00:18:35,950 --> 00:18:37,570 Паоло, я ненавижу тебя за то, что ты сделал Рэйчел
- 00:18:37,820 --> 00:18:39,620 Но у меня еще есть пять штук лазаний...
- 00:18:39,870 --> 00:18:43,910 ...ее надо греть при 150 градусах, пока не запузырится сыр
- 00:18:47,420 --> 00:18:48,790 Паоло, я хочу тебе сказать...
- 00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:54,130 ...и думаю, что скажу за всех присутствующих...
- 00:18:59,510 --> 00:19:00,890 Ой, бедняжка
- 00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:03,970 Я думаю, туда должен пойти кто-то один из нас...
- 00:19:04,220 --> 00:19:06,100 ...чтобы не создавать толпу. - Правильно.
- 00:19:06,350 --> 00:19:09,940 И это должен быть только я
- 00:19:25,240 --> 00:19:27,620 Ты как, нормально?
- 00:19:28,870 --> 00:19:32,040 Бывало и лучше
- 00:19:34,500 --> 00:19:37,170 Иди ко мне
- 00:19:42,970 --> 00:19:44,310 Послушай...
- 00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:47,600 ...ты заслуживаешь намного большего
- 00:19:47,850 --> 00:19:50,310 В смысле...
- 00:19:50,310 --> 00:19:55,400 ...ты должна быть с тем, кто будет ценить то, что ему досталось
- 00:19:55,820 --> 00:19:57,280 Ой, Росс...
- 00:19:57,990 --> 00:19:59,740 Что?
- 00:19:59,990 --> 00:20:03,070 Мне так осточертели мужики!
- 00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:05,450 Я даже смотреть на мужиков не хочу
- 00:20:05,700 --> 00:20:07,830 Я и думать о мужиках не хочу
- 00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:12,710 Я даже стоять рядом с мужиками не хочу
- 00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:22,300 Росс, ты такой классный
- 00:20:32,730 --> 00:20:34,770 Ну как ты, пришла в себя?
- 00:20:35,020 --> 00:20:36,610 Не то чтобы
- 00:20:36,860 --> 00:20:40,240 Печенье еще осталось?
- 00:20:41,990 --> 00:20:43,030 Знаешь, Рэйч...
- 00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:47,700 ...мне кажется, вообще убрать мужчин из своей жизни - это не выход
- 00:20:47,950 --> 00:20:54,170 Тебе просто нужно выработать правильную методику отбора
- 00:20:54,170 --> 00:20:56,840 Нет, мне просто нужно немножко побыть самой по себе
- 00:20:57,090 --> 00:21:00,380 Я хочу понять, что же мне на самом деле нужно
- 00:21:01,510 --> 00:21:05,640 Понимаешь, ведь не все мужчины такие, как Паоло
- 00:21:05,890 --> 00:21:07,640 Да нет, я знаю
- 00:21:07,890 --> 00:21:12,440 Вот я уверена, что твой мальчик таким не вырастет
- 00:21:12,690 --> 00:21:13,560 Что?
- 00:21:13,810 --> 00:21:16,190 Что?
- 00:21:17,940 --> 00:21:20,610 - У меня будет мальчик? - Нет...
- 00:21:22,900 --> 00:21:26,030 Нет. Не знаю никакого мальчика
- 00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:29,660 У меня будет мальчик
- 00:21:29,700 --> 00:21:31,290 У меня будет мальчик?
- 00:21:31,540 --> 00:21:33,750 Да, у тебя будет мальчик!
- 00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:35,250 У меня будет мальчик!
- 00:21:35,500 --> 00:21:36,460 У меня будет мальчик!
- 00:21:36,710 --> 00:21:37,500 - Что? - В чем дело?
- 00:21:37,750 --> 00:21:40,380 У меня будет мальчик! У меня - будет мальчик!
- 00:21:44,050 --> 00:21:47,220 А мы уже знали!
- 00:21:49,140 --> 00:21:52,180 У меня будет сын
- 00:21:58,850 --> 00:22:00,510 Да! Сделала вас по сухому!
- 00:22:01,820 --> 00:22:04,610 Всухую!
- 00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:09,030 Куда это вы? Давайте еще партию!
- 00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:11,280 Уже пол-третьего ночи
- 00:22:11,530 --> 00:22:12,700 Выметайся!
- 00:22:12,950 --> 00:22:15,910 А вот вы, ребята, вечно торчите у меня в квартире
- 00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:18,620 Ну давайте! Я буду играть одной левой
- 00:22:18,870 --> 00:22:22,460 Давайте, ссыкуны!
- 00:22:24,710 --> 00:22:27,170 Все! Ладно! Я ухожу!
- 00:22:27,420 --> 00:22:28,800 Уже ухожу
- 00:22:29,050 --> 00:22:32,010 Ушла
- 00:22:33,300 --> 00:22:35,770 - Еще партию? - Конечно!
- 00:22:39,350 --> 00:22:41,350 Перевод В.Бродового
Скриншоты
