Эпизод с обезьяной
Описание
Компания заключает соглашение не приводить спутниц на новогоднюю вечеринку, но вскоре все нарушают его, кроме Росса. Во время выступления в Central Perk Фиби сталкивается с шумными учеными, а затем встречается с одним из них, Дэвидом (Хэнк Азария), которого она приводит на вечеринку. Их отношения складываются хорошо, пока Дэвиду и его партнеру по исследованиям не предлагают грант в Минске, и ему приходится выбирать: остаться с Фиби или заняться исследованиями, которые могут изменить его карьеру. Моника приглашает «Веселого» Бобби, который приезжает недовольным, потому что недавно умер его дедушка. Джои чувствует себя неловко рядом с детьми своей спутницы Сэнди, которых она привела на вечеринку; позже она оказывается с другом Дэвида. План Рейчел привести Паоло срывается после того, как он пропускает свой рейс из Италии; она возвращается из аэропорта растрепанной и с распухшей губой после ссоры с женщиной из-за такси. Отчаявшийся Чендлер срывается и приглашает Дженис, но затем снова расстается с ней, после того как она ошибочно думает, что он хочет возобновить отношения. Росс приезжает со своим новым питомцем, обезьянкой по имени Марсель, которая игнорирует Росса. В итоге все остаются без пары, случайно выполняя свой первоначальный договор. Когда Чендлер жалуется, что ему некого поцеловать в полночь, Джои берет на себя эту роль.
Субтитры
- 00:00:02,377 --> 00:00:04,545 Do you think they have yesterday's Daily News?
- 00:00:04,713 --> 00:00:06,714 MONICA: Why? - I just wanna check my horoscope...
- 00:00:06,881 --> 00:00:08,507 ...see if it was right.
- 00:00:09,968 --> 00:00:13,762 Oh, my God. Phoebe. Don't look now, but, behind you there's a guy...
- 00:00:13,930 --> 00:00:16,890 ...who has the potential to break our hearts and plunge us into depression.
- 00:00:17,058 --> 00:00:18,517 Where?
- 00:00:18,893 --> 00:00:21,103 Ooh, come to Mama.
- 00:00:21,771 --> 00:00:24,106 Okay, he's coming. Be cool. Be cool. Be cool.
- 00:00:24,274 --> 00:00:26,567 - Nice hat. BOTH: Thanks.
- 00:00:27,318 --> 00:00:29,945 - We should do something. Whistle. - We're not gonna whistle.
- 00:00:30,113 --> 00:00:31,321 - Yeah, come on, do it. - No.
- 00:00:31,489 --> 00:00:33,490 - Do it. Do it. Do it. - Woo-hoo!
- 00:00:34,743 --> 00:00:36,285 [AMBULANCE SIRENS WAILING]
- 00:00:36,453 --> 00:00:37,828 [TIRES SQUEALING THEN THUD]
- 00:00:38,955 --> 00:00:41,331 I can't believe you did that.
- 00:01:29,631 --> 00:01:31,298 MONICA: Why did I woo-hoo?
- 00:01:31,466 --> 00:01:33,884 I mean, what was I hoping? He'd turn around and say:
- 00:01:34,052 --> 00:01:36,220 "Ooh, I love that sound. I must have you now"?
- 00:01:37,847 --> 00:01:39,556 I just wish there was something we could do.
- 00:01:39,724 --> 00:01:41,100 [EKG BEEPING]
- 00:01:41,893 --> 00:01:44,478 Hello. Hello, coma guy.
- 00:01:46,314 --> 00:01:48,398 Get up, you Girl Scout! Up, up, up!
- 00:01:48,566 --> 00:01:51,151 - Phoebe, what are you doing? - Maybe nobody's tried this.
- 00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:57,241 I wish we at least knew his name.
- 00:01:57,408 --> 00:01:59,034 Would you look at that face?
- 00:01:59,202 --> 00:02:03,288 I mean, even sleeping he looks smart. I bet he's a lawyer.
- 00:02:03,456 --> 00:02:06,917 Yeah, but did you see the dents in his knuckles? That means he's artistic.
- 00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:11,588 Okay. He's a lawyer who teaches sculpting on the side.
- 00:02:11,756 --> 00:02:14,007 And he can dance.
- 00:02:14,175 --> 00:02:18,220 And he's the kind of guy who, when you're talking, he's listening...
- 00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:20,722 ...you know, and not saying, "Yeah, I understand"...
- 00:02:20,890 --> 00:02:23,809 ...but wondering what you look like naked. - Oh, stop it.
- 00:02:26,271 --> 00:02:28,772 I wish all guys could be like him.
- 00:02:30,608 --> 00:02:31,984 I know.
- 00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:39,783 Are there no conscious men in the city for you two?
- 00:02:40,618 --> 00:02:44,204 - He doesn't have anyone. - Yeah. We feel kind of responsible.
- 00:02:44,956 --> 00:02:47,499 I can't believe you said, "Woo-hoo."
- 00:02:48,084 --> 00:02:49,585 I don't even say, "Woo-hoo."
- 00:02:49,752 --> 00:02:51,461 Oh, she's coming up. She's coming up.
- 00:02:51,629 --> 00:02:52,671 Folks, when we come back...
- 00:02:52,839 --> 00:02:54,882 ...we'll talk about her new book Euphoria Unbound...
- 00:02:55,049 --> 00:02:58,677 ...with always-interesting Nora Tyler Bing. Put the kids to bed for this one.
- 00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:02,472 Don't watch this. Weekend at Bernie's is on Showtime and HBO and Cinemex.
- 00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:05,684 - No way. - Come on. She's your mom.
- 00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:07,936 Exactly. Weekend at Bernie's.
- 00:03:08,104 --> 00:03:10,731 Dead guy getting hit in the groin 20, 30 times.
- 00:03:12,108 --> 00:03:13,567 - No? - Chandler, I gotta tell you...
- 00:03:13,735 --> 00:03:16,153 ...I love your mom's books. I love her books.
- 00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:19,156 I cannot get on a plane without one. I mean, this is so cool.
- 00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:21,283 You wouldn't think it's cool if you were 11...
- 00:03:21,451 --> 00:03:25,704 ...and all your friends were passing around page 79 of Mistress Bitch.
- 00:03:26,581 --> 00:03:28,874 Come on, Chandler. I love your mom. I think she's a blast.
- 00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:32,085 - You can say that. She's not your mom. ROSS: Oh, please. She's the...
- 00:03:32,253 --> 00:03:34,588 RACHEL: Hi, sweetie.
- 00:03:36,341 --> 00:03:39,134 When did Rigatoni get back from Rome?
- 00:03:40,637 --> 00:03:42,012 - Last night. - Really?
- 00:03:42,180 --> 00:03:45,474 So then his plane didn't explode in a big ball of fire?
- 00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:47,601 Just a dream I had.
- 00:03:47,769 --> 00:03:49,561 But, phew.
- 00:03:50,396 --> 00:03:52,314 Hey, hey, hey. She's on.
- 00:03:54,025 --> 00:03:56,568 Ah. Nora Bing.
- 00:03:57,862 --> 00:03:59,071 Before we get to the book.
- 00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:02,366 What is this about you being arrested in London? What is that about?
- 00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:06,954 - Your mom was arrested? - Shh, I'm busy beaming with pride.
- 00:04:07,372 --> 00:04:09,122 This is kind of embarrassing...
- 00:04:09,290 --> 00:04:13,502 ...but occasionally after I've been intimate with a man...
- 00:04:13,962 --> 00:04:16,964 - Why would she say that's embarrassing? - Shh.
- 00:04:17,173 --> 00:04:20,550 - I just get this craving for Kung Pao chicken.
- 00:04:20,718 --> 00:04:23,178 That's too much information.
- 00:04:26,724 --> 00:04:29,476 So now you're doing this book tour thing. How's that going?
- 00:04:29,644 --> 00:04:33,730 Oh, fine. I'm leaving for New York tomorrow, which I hate.
- 00:04:33,898 --> 00:04:36,149 But I get to see my son, who I love.
- 00:04:36,317 --> 00:04:37,776 GROUP: Oh.
- 00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:41,863 This is the way that I find out. Most moms use the phone.
- 00:04:42,031 --> 00:04:46,034 You know, don't take this wrong, I just don't see you as a mom somehow.
- 00:04:46,202 --> 00:04:50,163 - I don't mean that bad. - Oh, no. I'm a fabulous mom.
- 00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:52,791 I bought my son his first condoms.
- 00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:01,174 And then he burst into flames.
- 00:05:08,558 --> 00:05:10,100 [EKG BEEPING]
- 00:05:10,268 --> 00:05:14,146 MONICA: Let's see. "Congress is debating a new deficit-reduction bill.
- 00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:16,606 The mayor wants to raise subway fares again.
- 00:05:17,191 --> 00:05:19,401 The high today was 45."
- 00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:21,695 And, oh. And teams played sports.
- 00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:45,302 [INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]
- 00:05:49,098 --> 00:05:51,016 PHOEBE: What about Glen? MONICA: No.
- 00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:54,227 - He could be a Glen. - Mm-mm. Not special enough.
- 00:05:54,812 --> 00:05:56,855 Ooh, how about Agamemnon?
- 00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:58,940 Way too special.
- 00:06:07,450 --> 00:06:09,743 I'm famished. What do I want?
- 00:06:09,911 --> 00:06:13,246 Please, God, don't let it be Kung Pao chicken.
- 00:06:13,414 --> 00:06:16,333 Oh, you watched the show. What did you think?
- 00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:19,628 Well, I think you need to come out of your shell just...
- 00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:23,632 What is this dive?
- 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:26,802 - Only you could've picked this place. - Oh.
- 00:06:26,969 --> 00:06:28,345 Come on. Shut up. It's fun.
- 00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:30,013 - Hi. NORA: Give me a hug.
- 00:06:31,182 --> 00:06:33,975 - Well, I think we're ready for some tequila. - I know I am.
- 00:06:34,143 --> 00:06:35,727 - Who's doing shots? - Hit me.
- 00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:37,562 - I'm in. - There you go. Ross?
- 00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:40,649 Uh, I'm not really a shot-drinking kind of guy.
- 00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:42,526 Hi. Sorry. Sorry we're late.
- 00:06:42,693 --> 00:06:46,321 We, uh, kind of just, you know, lost track of time.
- 00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:50,659 But a man can change.
- 00:06:56,207 --> 00:06:58,834 Anyone want me to appraise anything?
- 00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:12,180 Mrs. Bing, I have to tell you, I've read everything you've ever written.
- 00:07:12,348 --> 00:07:14,558 No, I mean it. When I read Euphoria at Midnight...
- 00:07:14,725 --> 00:07:16,476 ...all I wanted to do was become a writer.
- 00:07:16,644 --> 00:07:19,479 Oh, please, honey. If I can do it, anybody can.
- 00:07:19,981 --> 00:07:22,357 You just start with half a dozen European cities...
- 00:07:22,525 --> 00:07:24,985 ...throw in 30 euphemisms for male genitalia...
- 00:07:25,153 --> 00:07:27,863 ...and, bam, you have got yourself a book.
- 00:07:28,990 --> 00:07:31,575 My mother, ladies and gentlemen.
- 00:07:34,579 --> 00:07:37,706 Yeah, any messages for room 226?
- 00:07:38,958 --> 00:07:42,252 - You okay, slugger? - Oh, yeah. I'm fine. I'm fine.
- 00:07:54,849 --> 00:07:56,600 What is with you tonight?
- 00:07:56,767 --> 00:07:59,728 Nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing.
- 00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:01,938 NORA: Okay, thank you.
- 00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:07,527 It's the Italian hand-licker, isn't it?
- 00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:10,572 No. It's the one he's licking.
- 00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:13,158 She's supposed to be with you.
- 00:08:14,035 --> 00:08:15,368 You're good.
- 00:08:16,204 --> 00:08:20,165 Oh, Ross, listen to me. I have sold 100 million copies of my books...
- 00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:21,458 ...and you know why?
- 00:08:21,626 --> 00:08:23,585 The girl on the cover with her nipples showing?
- 00:08:26,422 --> 00:08:31,426 No, because I know how to write men that women fall in love with.
- 00:08:31,594 --> 00:08:33,595 Believe me, I cannot sell a Paolo.
- 00:08:33,763 --> 00:08:37,057 People will not turn 325 pages for a Paolo.
- 00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:38,975 Come on. The guy's a secondary character.
- 00:08:39,143 --> 00:08:42,979 He's just a... You know, a complication you eventually kill off.
- 00:08:45,149 --> 00:08:46,525 When?
- 00:08:48,653 --> 00:08:51,363 He's not a hero.
- 00:08:51,864 --> 00:08:53,198 You know who our hero is?
- 00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:56,076 The guy on the cover with his nipples showing?
- 00:08:56,786 --> 00:08:58,411 No, it's you.
- 00:08:58,579 --> 00:09:00,205 - Please. - No, really.
- 00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:02,582 Come on. You're smart. You're sexy.
- 00:09:03,334 --> 00:09:05,168 - Right. - Oh, come on, kiddo.
- 00:09:05,336 --> 00:09:08,004 You're gonna be fine, believe me.
- 00:09:12,510 --> 00:09:14,010 Uh-oh.
- 00:09:26,315 --> 00:09:29,734 Uh, I'll just pee in the street.
- 00:09:37,493 --> 00:09:39,035 [KNOCKING ON DOOR]
- 00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:41,288 Is Chandler here?
- 00:09:41,455 --> 00:09:43,373 - Yeah. - Wait. Come here.
- 00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:46,418 Okay, uh, about last night...
- 00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:48,169 ...um, you know...
- 00:09:48,337 --> 00:09:50,297 ...Chandler. You didn't tell...
- 00:09:50,506 --> 00:09:52,507 Okay, I'm thinking we don't need to tell Chandler.
- 00:09:52,675 --> 00:09:54,968 It was just a kiss. One kiss. No big deal, right?
- 00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:57,053 - Right. No big deal. - Okay.
- 00:09:57,221 --> 00:09:58,930 In Bizarro-world.
- 00:10:02,351 --> 00:10:03,560 You broke the code.
- 00:10:03,728 --> 00:10:06,688 - What code? - You don't kiss your friend's mom.
- 00:10:06,856 --> 00:10:10,525 Sisters are okay. Maybe a hot-looking aunt.
- 00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:12,694 But not a mom. Never a mom.
- 00:10:12,862 --> 00:10:14,154 [ALL SHOUTING]
- 00:10:15,906 --> 00:10:17,657 What are you guys doing out here?
- 00:10:17,825 --> 00:10:21,703 Uh, well, Joey and I had discussed getting in an early morning racquetball game.
- 00:10:23,164 --> 00:10:26,249 But, um, apparently somebody overslept.
- 00:10:28,127 --> 00:10:30,128 Yeah, well, you don't have your racquet.
- 00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:32,422 No. No, I don't, because it's being restrung.
- 00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:35,383 Ahem. Somebody was supposed to bring me one.
- 00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:39,346 Yeah. Well, you didn't call and leave your grip size.
- 00:10:41,974 --> 00:10:44,809 Okay, you guys are spending way too much time together.
- 00:10:47,813 --> 00:10:49,356 Okay, I'm scum. I'm scum.
- 00:10:49,523 --> 00:10:51,983 - Ross, how could you let this happen? - I don't know.
- 00:10:52,151 --> 00:10:56,196 Well, it's not like she's a regular mom. You know? She's sexy. She's...
- 00:10:56,364 --> 00:10:58,490 You don't think my mom's sexy?
- 00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:02,535 Well, not in the same way.
- 00:11:02,703 --> 00:11:04,621 I'll have you know that Gloria Tribbiani...
- 00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:06,748 ...was a handsome woman in her day, all right?
- 00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:11,294 You think it's easy giving birth to seven children?
- 00:11:11,462 --> 00:11:12,754 Huh?
- 00:11:13,381 --> 00:11:16,466 Okay, I think we're getting into a weird area here.
- 00:11:16,759 --> 00:11:18,343 - Aah. - Hey.
- 00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:20,136 - Hey. - What are you guys doing out here?
- 00:11:20,304 --> 00:11:23,473 Well, ha, ha, not playing racquetball.
- 00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:28,687 - He forgot to leave his grip size. - He didn't get the goggles.
- 00:11:28,854 --> 00:11:30,689 Oh. Right.
- 00:11:30,856 --> 00:11:34,526 Well, sounds like you two have issues.
- 00:11:37,196 --> 00:11:38,238 Goodbye, baby.
- 00:11:38,406 --> 00:11:39,698 [SPEAKING IN ITALIAN]
- 00:11:40,950 --> 00:11:43,535 Do they wait for me to do this?
- 00:11:49,375 --> 00:11:51,543 - So are you gonna tell him? - I'm not gonna tell him.
- 00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,962 - Why would I tell him? - How about, because if you don't...
- 00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:56,256 ...his mother might? - Hmm.
- 00:11:56,507 --> 00:11:58,550 What are you guys doing here?
- 00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:01,845 Uh, he's not even wearing a jock strap.
- 00:12:07,435 --> 00:12:09,269 What did I ask?
- 00:12:18,028 --> 00:12:19,696 [EKG BEEPING]
- 00:12:19,905 --> 00:12:22,449 - Hi. - Hi.
- 00:12:23,784 --> 00:12:25,452 What are you doing here?
- 00:12:25,619 --> 00:12:28,455 Nothing. I just thought I'd stop by, you know, after the, ahem...
- 00:12:28,622 --> 00:12:31,332 That I, you know. Um, so, what are you doing here?
- 00:12:33,335 --> 00:12:35,170 I'm not really here.
- 00:12:35,337 --> 00:12:39,966 I just thought I'd drop these off on the way. My way.
- 00:12:42,344 --> 00:12:45,555 Do you, um, come here a lot...
- 00:12:46,015 --> 00:12:47,265 ...without me?
- 00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:50,226 No, no, no.
- 00:12:52,855 --> 00:12:56,191 So, um, do you think he's doing any better than he was this morning?
- 00:12:57,777 --> 00:13:00,320 How would I know? I wasn't here.
- 00:13:00,488 --> 00:13:03,948 Really? Not even to, um, change his pajamas?
- 00:13:07,661 --> 00:13:08,828 Oh, my God.
- 00:13:08,996 --> 00:13:11,873 You're my friend. I had to tell you.
- 00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:13,792 I can't believe it.
- 00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:16,044 Paolo kissed my mom?
- 00:13:17,588 --> 00:13:20,673 Yeah, I mean, I don't know if you noticed, but he had a lot to drink.
- 00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:23,510 I mean, you know how he gets when he's drunk...
- 00:13:25,304 --> 00:13:27,263 I can't do this. I did it.
- 00:13:27,431 --> 00:13:29,974 It was me. I'm sorry. I kissed your mom.
- 00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:31,768 What?
- 00:13:31,936 --> 00:13:35,480 I was really upset about Rachel and Paolo and I think I had too much tequila...
- 00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:38,775 ...and Nora... Mrs. Mom, your Bing, was...
- 00:13:40,736 --> 00:13:43,154 She was just being nice, you know? But nothing happened.
- 00:13:43,322 --> 00:13:45,949 Nothing. Ask Joey. Joey came in...
- 00:13:46,116 --> 00:13:47,826 - You knew about this? - Uh...
- 00:13:47,993 --> 00:13:50,203 You know, knowledge is a tricky thing.
- 00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:53,957 I spent the entire day with you. Why didn't you tell me?
- 00:13:54,124 --> 00:13:56,251 Hey, hey. You're lucky I caught them when I did...
- 00:13:56,418 --> 00:13:58,169 ...or else who knows what would've happened?
- 00:13:58,337 --> 00:13:59,838 Thanks, man. Big help.
- 00:14:00,297 --> 00:14:02,465 I can't believe this. What the hell were you thinking?
- 00:14:02,633 --> 00:14:04,759 I wasn't. I don't know. I...
- 00:14:04,927 --> 00:14:08,263 Of all my friends, no one knows the crap I go through with my mom more than you.
- 00:14:08,430 --> 00:14:10,765 - I know. - I can't believe you did this.
- 00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:13,226 - Me neither. - I'm mad at you for not telling me.
- 00:14:13,394 --> 00:14:16,771 - What are you mad at me...? - Let me slam the door.
- 00:14:17,356 --> 00:14:19,357 Chandler, I didn't kiss her. He did.
- 00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:21,150 See what happens when you break the code?
- 00:14:21,318 --> 00:14:23,194 - Joey. - Aah! Uh.
- 00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:34,706 - Rach. - Hey.
- 00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:38,042 "A Woman Undone. By Rachel Karen Green."
- 00:14:38,210 --> 00:14:41,629 Yeah, I thought I'd give it a shot. I'm still on the first chapter.
- 00:14:41,797 --> 00:14:46,968 Now, do you think his "love stick" can be "liberated from its denim prison"?
- 00:14:48,470 --> 00:14:50,722 Yeah, I'd say so.
- 00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:54,142 And there's no "J" in "engorged."
- 00:14:55,519 --> 00:14:57,186 - Hey, Rach. - Hey.
- 00:14:57,354 --> 00:14:59,105 - Hello. - Hello.
- 00:14:59,648 --> 00:15:02,275 - You going to the hospital tonight? - No. You?
- 00:15:02,693 --> 00:15:04,110 No. You?
- 00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:08,656 You just asked me.
- 00:15:08,824 --> 00:15:10,909 Okay, maybe it was a trick question.
- 00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:15,872 - Um, Rachel, can we do this now? - Okay.
- 00:15:16,832 --> 00:15:19,250 I am so hot.
- 00:15:20,419 --> 00:15:23,504 And here's a picture of my mother and father on their wedding day.
- 00:15:23,672 --> 00:15:26,507 Now, you tell me she's not a knockout.
- 00:15:28,135 --> 00:15:30,053 I cannot believe we're having this conversation.
- 00:15:30,220 --> 00:15:32,805 Come on, just try to picture her not pregnant. That's all.
- 00:15:34,892 --> 00:15:38,394 Central Perk is proud to present Miss Phoebe Buffay.
- 00:15:38,562 --> 00:15:39,979 [CROWD CHEERING]
- 00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:41,773 PHOEBE: Thanks.
- 00:15:42,232 --> 00:15:43,691 Hi. Um, ahem. Okay.
- 00:15:43,901 --> 00:15:47,195 I'd like to start with a song that's about a man I recently met...
- 00:15:47,363 --> 00:15:50,573 ...who's, um, come to be very important to me.
- 00:15:52,826 --> 00:15:54,202 Okay.
- 00:15:56,914 --> 00:16:00,667 [SINGING] You don't have to be awake To be my man
- 00:16:02,836 --> 00:16:07,882 Long as you have brain waves I'll be there to hold your hand
- 00:16:09,176 --> 00:16:11,719 Though we just met the other day
- 00:16:11,887 --> 00:16:15,181 There's something I have got to say
- 00:16:16,266 --> 00:16:19,310 Okay, thank you very much. I'm gonna take a short break.
- 00:16:21,689 --> 00:16:25,233 RACHEL: Okay, that was Phoebe Buffay, everybody. Whoo!
- 00:16:26,443 --> 00:16:29,195 - What the hell was that? - Phoebe just started...
- 00:16:29,363 --> 00:16:32,991 I believe I was talking to Joey. All right, there, mother-kisser?
- 00:16:33,158 --> 00:16:34,283 [LAUGHING]
- 00:16:38,372 --> 00:16:40,123 "Mother-kisser."
- 00:16:41,458 --> 00:16:42,792 I'll shut up.
- 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:45,586 Chandler, can I say something? I know you're still mad at me.
- 00:16:45,754 --> 00:16:48,965 I just wanna say that there were two people there that night, okay?
- 00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:52,051 - There were two sets of lips. - Yes, well, I expect this from her.
- 00:16:52,219 --> 00:16:54,971 Okay? She's always been a Freudian nightmare.
- 00:16:55,139 --> 00:16:58,349 Okay, but if she always behaves like this, why don't you say something?
- 00:16:58,517 --> 00:17:01,394 Because it's complicated. It's complex.
- 00:17:01,562 --> 00:17:03,229 Hey, you kissed my mom.
- 00:17:07,192 --> 00:17:09,444 We're rehearsing a Greek play.
- 00:17:10,779 --> 00:17:12,572 - That's funny. We done now? - No.
- 00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:15,992 Okay, you mean you're not gonna talk to her, tell her how you feel?
- 00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:19,454 That would be a no. Just because you played tonsil tennis with my mom...
- 00:17:19,621 --> 00:17:22,832 ...doesn't mean you know her, all right? Trust me, you can't talk to her.
- 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:25,376 Okay. "You can't"? Or you can't?
- 00:17:26,628 --> 00:17:30,965 Okay, that's my finger. Okay, that's my knee.
- 00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:32,925 Still doing the play.
- 00:17:33,093 --> 00:17:34,469 [SHOUTS THEN HUMS]
- 00:17:41,185 --> 00:17:42,769 All right, what did you do with him?
- 00:17:44,271 --> 00:17:45,354 [TOILET FLUSHES]
- 00:17:47,024 --> 00:17:48,941 - You're awake. - Look at you.
- 00:17:49,109 --> 00:17:50,109 How do you feel?
- 00:17:50,277 --> 00:17:53,362 Uh, a little woozy, but basically okay.
- 00:17:53,530 --> 00:17:55,573 Gosh, you look good.
- 00:17:55,741 --> 00:17:57,533 I feel good.
- 00:17:58,410 --> 00:17:59,911 Who are you?
- 00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:01,746 - Sorry. - I'm Phoebe Buffay.
- 00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:04,499 I'm Monica Geller. I've been taking care of you.
- 00:18:04,666 --> 00:18:05,666 We both have.
- 00:18:05,834 --> 00:18:08,836 - So the Etch A Sketch is from you guys? - Actually, it's just from me.
- 00:18:09,004 --> 00:18:11,923 - Yeah, I got you the foot massager. - Know who shaved you? That was me.
- 00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:15,009 - I read to you. - I sang. Ha.
- 00:18:16,553 --> 00:18:17,970 Well, thanks.
- 00:18:18,138 --> 00:18:20,389 - Oh, my pleasure. - You're welcome.
- 00:18:20,557 --> 00:18:23,518 So I guess I'll see you around.
- 00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:26,354 What? That's it?
- 00:18:27,064 --> 00:18:28,606 "See you around"?
- 00:18:28,774 --> 00:18:32,068 - Well, what do you want me to say? - Well, I don't know.
- 00:18:32,236 --> 00:18:33,569 Maybe, uh:
- 00:18:33,821 --> 00:18:35,113 "That was nice.
- 00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:36,739 It meant something to me.
- 00:18:37,991 --> 00:18:39,867 I'll call you."
- 00:18:40,577 --> 00:18:44,038 - All right. I'll call you. - I don't think you mean that.
- 00:18:47,292 --> 00:18:49,377 This is so typical.
- 00:18:49,545 --> 00:18:50,670 You know, we give...
- 00:18:50,838 --> 00:18:52,296 ...and we give...
- 00:18:52,464 --> 00:18:54,006 ...and we give.
- 00:18:54,174 --> 00:18:56,467 And then we just get nothing back.
- 00:18:56,635 --> 00:19:00,471 And then one day, it's just, you know, you wake up and "See you around."
- 00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:04,559 Let's go, Phoebe.
- 00:19:06,270 --> 00:19:08,896 You know what? We thought you were different.
- 00:19:09,064 --> 00:19:11,357 But I guess it was just the coma.
- 00:19:16,238 --> 00:19:17,613 NORA: The car's running downstairs.
- 00:19:17,781 --> 00:19:20,241 I wanted to drop off these copies of my book for your friends.
- 00:19:21,201 --> 00:19:25,580 - Anything you want from Lisbon? - No, just knowing you're there is enough.
- 00:19:26,206 --> 00:19:29,834 All right. Well, be good. I love you.
- 00:19:32,546 --> 00:19:34,130 You kissed my best Ross.
- 00:19:37,050 --> 00:19:38,551 Or something to that effect.
- 00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:41,846 Okay.
- 00:19:45,684 --> 00:19:47,643 Look, it was stupid.
- 00:19:47,811 --> 00:19:50,188 - Really stupid. - Really stupid.
- 00:19:52,357 --> 00:19:54,692 And I don't even know how it happened.
- 00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:58,738 I'm sorry, honey. I promise it will never happen again.
- 00:20:00,699 --> 00:20:03,034 - Are we okay now? - Yeah.
- 00:20:03,785 --> 00:20:06,495 No. No.
- 00:20:10,292 --> 00:20:12,960 Ah, the forbidden love of a man and his door.
- 00:20:13,128 --> 00:20:14,378 Shh.
- 00:20:15,172 --> 00:20:18,466 He did it. He told her off. And not just about the kiss, about everything.
- 00:20:18,634 --> 00:20:19,675 - You're kidding? - No.
- 00:20:19,843 --> 00:20:22,511 He said, "When are you gonna grow up and start being a mom?"
- 00:20:22,679 --> 00:20:24,764 - Wow. - Wait, then she came back with:
- 00:20:24,973 --> 00:20:29,477 "The question is, when are you gonna grow up and realize I have a bomb?"
- 00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:33,105 Okay, wait. Are you sure she didn't say:
- 00:20:33,273 --> 00:20:37,109 "When are you gonna grow up and realize I am your mom?"
- 00:20:40,739 --> 00:20:42,823 - That makes more sense. - You think?
- 00:20:42,991 --> 00:20:44,533 Yeah.
- 00:20:45,285 --> 00:20:46,786 So, what's going on now?
- 00:20:46,954 --> 00:20:49,997 I don't know. I've been standing here spelling it out for you.
- 00:20:52,417 --> 00:20:54,335 I don't hear anything. Wait, wait, wait.
- 00:20:54,503 --> 00:20:55,711 What do you see?
- 00:20:55,879 --> 00:20:58,297 It's hard to tell. They're so tiny and upside down.
- 00:20:58,465 --> 00:20:59,799 Wait, wait, wait.
- 00:20:59,967 --> 00:21:03,386 They're walking away. They're walking away.
- 00:21:03,553 --> 00:21:06,973 No, they're not. They're coming right at us. Run, run!
- 00:21:09,685 --> 00:21:10,810 You okay, kiddo?
- 00:21:10,978 --> 00:21:14,230 - Yeah, I'm okay. - All right. You be good.
- 00:21:14,398 --> 00:21:16,148 Drive safe.
- 00:21:16,316 --> 00:21:17,692 [CHUCKLES]
- 00:21:18,068 --> 00:21:20,778 - Mrs. Bing. - Mr. Geller.
- 00:21:25,826 --> 00:21:27,201 Hey.
- 00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:30,621 You mean that?
- 00:21:31,373 --> 00:21:33,457 Yeah, why not?
- 00:21:35,168 --> 00:21:36,877 - So I told her. - Oh.
- 00:21:37,587 --> 00:21:39,588 - How did it go? - Awful. Awful.
- 00:21:39,756 --> 00:21:41,674 Couldn't have gone worse.
- 00:21:42,426 --> 00:21:45,261 - Well, how do you feel? - Pretty good.
- 00:21:47,347 --> 00:21:48,848 I told her.
- 00:21:49,016 --> 00:21:51,017 Well, see?
- 00:21:51,184 --> 00:21:55,354 So maybe it wasn't such a bad idea, you know, me kissing your mom, huh?
- 00:21:55,522 --> 00:21:58,024 But we don't have to go down that road.
- 00:22:04,698 --> 00:22:06,657 Now, this is just the first chapter...
- 00:22:06,825 --> 00:22:11,954 ...and I want your absolute honest opinion. Okay?
- 00:22:12,205 --> 00:22:16,834 Oh, and on page two, he's not reaching for her "heaving beasts."
- 00:22:17,878 --> 00:22:18,961 What's a "niffle"?
- 00:22:19,212 --> 00:22:22,131 You can usually find them on the heaving beasts.
- 00:22:24,259 --> 00:22:26,510 All right, all right, so I'm not a great typist.
- 00:22:26,678 --> 00:22:30,723 Wait, did you get to the part about his "huge, throbbing pens"?
- 00:22:31,558 --> 00:22:34,810 Tell you, you don't wanna be around when he starts writing with those.
- 00:22:36,021 --> 00:22:38,105 - All right, that's it. Give them back. GROUP: No.
- 00:22:40,942 --> 00:22:42,943 [English - US - SDH]
- 00:00:07,880 --> 00:00:12,890 Ребята... Хочу вас кое с кем познакомить
- 00:00:13,970 --> 00:00:15,640 Погоди-ка... Что это такое?
- 00:00:15,890 --> 00:00:17,560 Это Марсель. Хочешь с ним поздороваться?
- 00:00:17,810 --> 00:00:18,980 Нет! Не хочу
- 00:00:19,230 --> 00:00:21,310 Ой, какая прелесть! Где ты его взял?
- 00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:23,650 Моя подруга Бетель спасла его из какой-то лаборатории
- 00:00:23,780 --> 00:00:25,110 Это так жестоко
- 00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:30,080 Зачем? Ну зачем родители назвали ребенка "Бетель"?
- 00:00:31,700 --> 00:00:35,120 Эй, у этой обезьяны Росс к жопе прилип!
- 00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:41,880 Росс, он что, будет жить с тобой, прямо у тебя в квартире?
- 00:00:42,130 --> 00:00:45,220 Ну да. У меня скучновато с тех пор, как ушла Кэрол, так что...
- 00:00:45,470 --> 00:00:47,220 Мог бы подселить к себе соседа!
- 00:00:47,470 --> 00:00:49,310 Ну не знаю. В определенном возрасте...
- 00:00:49,560 --> 00:00:53,270 ...жить с соседом уже как-то унизи...
- 00:00:55,310 --> 00:01:00,360 Я хотел сказать, "унизизи", что на суахили означает "круто и весело"
- 00:01:01,070 --> 00:01:04,240 1-й сезон, 10-я серия "Обезьяна"
- 00:01:50,940 --> 00:01:53,110 На сегодня у меня только новый материал
- 00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:59,240 12 новых песен о самоубийстве мамы и одна про снеговика
- 00:02:00,030 --> 00:02:03,620 Предлагаю начать со снеговика
- 00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:05,700 Привет, Джои!
- 00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:07,790 Ну, как дела?
- 00:02:07,790 --> 00:02:08,540 А-а... Работу я не получил Ну, как дела?
- 00:02:08,540 --> 00:02:10,210 А-а... Работу я не получил
- 00:02:11,700 --> 00:02:15,740 Как это не получил? Ты же был Санта-Клаусом в прошлом году!
- 00:02:15,990 --> 00:02:20,620 Сам не знаю. Какой-то толстяк спит с директором магазина
- 00:02:20,870 --> 00:02:23,790 А сам еще и скучный. Это все политкорректность.
- 00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:25,210 Кем же будешь ты?
- 00:02:25,460 --> 00:02:27,380 Кем-то из его помощников
- 00:02:27,630 --> 00:02:30,720 Это такой плевок в лицо, знаете
- 00:02:30,970 --> 00:02:35,050 Эй, ребята, а у вас всех уже есть планы на новогоднюю ночь?
- 00:02:35,300 --> 00:02:38,060 Что такое? Чем вам не угодил Новый Год?
- 00:02:38,310 --> 00:02:42,560 Тебе хорошо. У тебя есть Паоло. Тебе не нужно лихорадочно метаться...
- 00:02:42,810 --> 00:02:46,820 ...в поисках лишних губ, чтобы было что поцеловать под бой часов!
- 00:02:47,070 --> 00:02:50,190 Черт, как громко я говорю!
- 00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:53,820 К твоему сведению, Паоло на этот Новый Год будет в Риме
- 00:02:54,070 --> 00:02:56,240 И я буду чувствовать себя такой же жалкой, как и все вы
- 00:02:56,490 --> 00:02:59,540 Ага, размечталась
- 00:03:00,500 --> 00:03:03,170 Надоело уже одному на Новый Год тупо втыкать в телевизор
- 00:03:03,420 --> 00:03:05,920 Давайте в этом году договоримся - никаких пар со стороны,
- 00:03:06,170 --> 00:03:08,500 Нас шестеро, и все. Просто ужин
- 00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:09,860 - Ладно. - Согласны.
- 00:03:10,110 --> 00:03:13,990 Я надеялся, что будет немного больше энтузиазма
- 00:03:15,360 --> 00:03:16,200 Фиби, тебе пора
- 00:03:16,450 --> 00:03:17,780 Ой, хорошо
- 00:03:18,030 --> 00:03:21,620 Здравствуйте. Дамы и господа, снова у нас по просьбам публики...
- 00:03:21,870 --> 00:03:25,710 ...мисс Фиби Буффе!
- 00:03:28,710 --> 00:03:30,550 Спасибо. Привет.
- 00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:36,180 Я хочу начать с песни, особенной для меня в это время года
- 00:03:39,970 --> 00:03:43,060 "Снеговик во дворе на пригорке стоит"
- 00:03:43,310 --> 00:03:46,900 "И дети вокруг играют"
- 00:03:47,150 --> 00:03:49,730 "А на кухне моей работа кипит"
- 00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:54,400 "Там маму в мешок сгружают"
- 00:03:59,990 --> 00:04:02,660 Прах моей мамы
- 00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:05,920 Вместе с бровями
- 00:04:06,170 --> 00:04:12,090 В горшочке стоит на столе
- 00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:18,680 Зимою в морозы
- 00:04:18,930 --> 00:04:21,010 Пускаю я слезы
- 00:04:21,260 --> 00:04:23,680 Над той... Прошу прощения! Прошу прощения!
- 00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:26,310 Вы, шумелки!
- 00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:31,860 Если у вас там что-то интересное, может, поделитесь со всеми?
- 00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:34,860 Да нет, спасибо
- 00:04:35,110 --> 00:04:38,030 Да ну, если вам так важно говорить об этом, когда я пою...
- 00:04:38,280 --> 00:04:41,280 ...то, наверное, это стоит послушать всем присутствующим
- 00:04:41,530 --> 00:04:45,200 Ну все, тот чувак имеет двойку по поведению
- 00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:51,960 - Я тут говорил... - Погромче, пожалуйста!
- 00:04:52,210 --> 00:04:54,170 Извините
- 00:04:54,420 --> 00:04:59,300 Я говорил другу, что вы - самая красивая женщина из всех, что я видел в жизни
- 00:04:59,550 --> 00:05:01,220 А он сказал... ты сказал, что Дэрил Ханна...
- 00:05:01,470 --> 00:05:04,470 ...самая красивая женщина из всех, что видел он в своей жизни
- 00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:07,890 А я сказал: она хороша во "Всплеске", но не очень в "Уолл-Стрит"
- 00:05:08,140 --> 00:05:12,520 - Она там такая жесткая. - Да, именно.
- 00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:15,610 Дэрил Ханна, конечно, красивая в классическом смысле слова...
- 00:05:15,860 --> 00:05:20,990 ...но вы зато так и лучитесь нежным легким изяществом
- 00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:26,700 И в этот момент вы на нас накричали
- 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:36,760 Давайте сделаем небольшой перерыв
- 00:05:39,510 --> 00:05:44,060 Кажется, он будет иметь не только двойку по поведению
- 00:05:47,270 --> 00:05:50,600 Иди ко мне, Марсель. Сядь здесь
- 00:05:53,190 --> 00:05:55,610 Фибс, как же так? Он тебя до сих пор не поцеловал!
- 00:05:55,860 --> 00:06:02,450 Паоло к нашему шестому свиданию уже дал имена обеим моим сиськам
- 00:06:04,530 --> 00:06:08,040 Это было слишком откровенно?
- 00:06:08,290 --> 00:06:10,540 Самую чуточку
- 00:06:10,790 --> 00:06:14,210 Дэвид, он из этих, яйцеголовых. Он очень методичный
- 00:06:14,460 --> 00:06:15,460 Я думаю, это романтично
- 00:06:15,710 --> 00:06:17,300 Я тоже!
- 00:06:17,550 --> 00:06:20,720 Вы видели фильм "Офицер и джентльмен"?
- 00:06:20,970 --> 00:06:25,760 Он как раз похож на парня, с которым я на него ходила
- 00:06:29,140 --> 00:06:34,310 Только он умнее, добрее и милее
- 00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:36,730 Я хочу быть с ним постоянно
- 00:06:36,980 --> 00:06:40,240 Знаете, днем и ночью. И ночью, и днем
- 00:06:40,490 --> 00:06:44,570 И на праздники тоже
- 00:06:45,410 --> 00:06:48,410 Вот к чему ты клонишь. Ты хочешь пригласить его на Новый Год
- 00:06:48,660 --> 00:06:50,830 Ты нарушаешь договор. Она нарушает договор
- 00:06:50,830 --> 00:06:52,710 Нет, нет, нет!
- 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:57,460 Ну да, а можно мне...?
- 00:06:57,840 --> 00:07:00,670 Можно, поскольку я уже пригласил Дженис
- 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:03,510 Слушай, это же был договор! Причем твой договор!
- 00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:06,350 Ну я сломался! Не выдержал давления и сломался!
- 00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:09,520 Но Дженис? У вас же был худший разрыв в истории!
- 00:07:09,770 --> 00:07:13,850 Я не сказал, что это была удачная мысль. Я сказал, что сломался!
- 00:07:15,350 --> 00:07:18,860 Привет, извините за опоздание
- 00:07:25,950 --> 00:07:29,040 Шутки распирают
- 00:07:29,290 --> 00:07:32,160 Срочно высмеять Джои!
- 00:07:33,210 --> 00:07:35,790 Классные боты, а?
- 00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:39,380 Господи, ты меня доведешь!
- 00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:43,050 Росс, он опять играет с кухонными приборами!
- 00:07:43,300 --> 00:07:45,800 Послушай, он же их не поломает, да?
- 00:07:46,050 --> 00:07:49,220 Зачем ты его вечно таскаешь сюда?
- 00:07:49,470 --> 00:07:51,310 Не хочу оставлять его одного
- 00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:55,730 У нас утром уже была первая ссора
- 00:07:55,810 --> 00:07:57,730 Из-за того, что я поздно прихожу с работы
- 00:07:57,980 --> 00:08:02,610 И я сгоряча наговорил много лишнего
- 00:08:02,990 --> 00:08:05,660 А он немного побросался калом
- 00:08:08,570 --> 00:08:11,240 Если ты задерживаешься на работе, я могу за ним присмотреть
- 00:08:11,490 --> 00:08:13,660 Было бы здорово!
- 00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:16,830 Только сделай вид, что ты специально пришел к нему...
- 00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:19,750 ...а не делаешь одолжение лично мне
- 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:24,590 Ладно. Но если он спросит, я врать не буду
- 00:08:29,850 --> 00:08:32,180 Однако проверить эту теорию экспериментально нельзя
- 00:08:32,430 --> 00:08:36,520 Нынешние ускорители частиц слишком маломощны
- 00:08:36,770 --> 00:08:38,690 ...для создания таких условий
- 00:08:38,940 --> 00:08:41,690 - Понятно. Тогда у меня вопрос. - Да!
- 00:08:41,940 --> 00:08:45,360 Ты когда-нибудь собираешься меня поцеловать?
- 00:08:47,860 --> 00:08:50,120 Вопрос очень уместный...
- 00:08:50,370 --> 00:08:52,450 ...и ответ на него...
- 00:08:52,700 --> 00:08:54,950 ...будет "да"
- 00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:57,830 Да, собираюсь
- 00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:04,130 Но видишь ли, я хотел сделать этот поцелуй незабываемым...
- 00:09:04,380 --> 00:09:07,550 ...и выбрать для него незабываемый момент, потому что это же ты
- 00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:08,720 Ну да
- 00:09:08,970 --> 00:09:12,970 Именно. Но чем дольше я жду, тем более незабываемым должен быть поцелуй
- 00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:17,230 И теперь пора уже переходить к варианту, когда я...
- 00:09:17,480 --> 00:09:20,730 ...сметаю все со стола и валю тебя на него
- 00:09:20,980 --> 00:09:23,650 А я вообще-то не из таких, сметальщиков
- 00:09:23,900 --> 00:09:28,910 А я как раз думаю, Дэвид, что ты из таких - сметальщиков
- 00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:33,160 Ты - сметальщик, заключенный в физикоподобное тело
- 00:09:33,410 --> 00:09:34,870 - Правда? - Я уверена.
- 00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:39,540 Пора уже приступать. Сметай и вали меня
- 00:09:41,380 --> 00:09:42,250 Сейчас?
- 00:09:42,500 --> 00:09:45,630 - Прямо сейчас. - Хорошо, хорошо.
- 00:09:48,670 --> 00:09:52,430 Знаешь, эта вещь стоит очень дорого
- 00:09:52,680 --> 00:09:55,520 А это - подарок
- 00:09:55,770 --> 00:10:00,230 - Это уже похоже на уборку. - А, гори оно все огнем.
- 00:10:03,110 --> 00:10:07,610 - Хочешь, чтобы я тебя бросил...? - Я могу подпрыгнуть.
- 00:10:22,460 --> 00:10:26,050 То есть наш договор не приглашать пары для тебя пустой звук?
- 00:10:26,300 --> 00:10:30,550 Извини. Просто у Чендлера уже есть пара, и у Фиби есть пара
- 00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:32,720 И я тут подумала пригласить Бобби-Весельчака
- 00:10:32,970 --> 00:10:35,140 Твоего бывшего Бобби-Весельчака?
- 00:10:35,390 --> 00:10:38,060 А ты знаешь несколько Бобби-Весельчаков?
- 00:10:38,310 --> 00:10:41,440 Я знаю одного Боба-Весельчака
- 00:10:41,850 --> 00:10:43,310 Так... Вот и твой заказ
- 00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:47,860 Эй-эй-эй! Там же нет места для молока
- 00:10:51,740 --> 00:10:53,910 Вот. Теперь есть
- 00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:58,740 Итак, на наш вечер без пар трое из вас уже имеют пары
- 00:10:59,000 --> 00:10:59,830 - Четверо. - Четверо.
- 00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:01,830 - Пятеро. - Пятеро.
- 00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:04,750 Извините. Паоло успевает на более ранний рейс
- 00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:08,920 А я встретил в магазине такую классную мать-одиночку
- 00:11:09,170 --> 00:11:11,260 А чем еще заняться эльфу?
- 00:11:11,510 --> 00:11:15,850 То есть я один буду стоять под бой часов без пары, как дурак?
- 00:11:16,100 --> 00:11:19,930 Да ладно. Гостей будет много, никто не будет знать, кто с кем
- 00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:22,140 Именно этого мне как раз не хватало
- 00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:23,350 В чем дело?
- 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:26,560 Да это все Марсель
- 00:11:28,190 --> 00:11:29,610 Он меня бойкотирует
- 00:11:29,860 --> 00:11:33,860 Все время ходит кругами, понурив голову
- 00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:37,120 Странно. А мы с ним вчера здорово провели время
- 00:11:37,370 --> 00:11:39,370 - Правда? - Мы играли, смотрели телевизор
- 00:11:39,620 --> 00:11:43,620 А жонглирует он вообще потрясающе
- 00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:47,460 Как жонглирует?
- 00:11:47,710 --> 00:11:52,300 Носками, скатанными в шарики. Разве не ты его научил?
- 00:11:53,970 --> 00:11:56,720 Да ладно, ничего особенного. Просто мячики из носков
- 00:11:56,970 --> 00:11:59,560 И еще дыня
- 00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:04,730 - Фиби! Привет! - Привет, Макс. Ты знаком со всеми?
- 00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:07,800 Нет! Ты видела Дэвида?
- 00:12:08,050 --> 00:12:09,550 Нет, его здесь не было
- 00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:13,470 Если увидишь - скажи, пусть собирает вещи. Мы едем в Минск.
- 00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:14,560 В Минск?
- 00:12:14,810 --> 00:12:17,310 В Минск. Это в России
- 00:12:17,560 --> 00:12:20,730 Я знаю, где Минск
- 00:12:20,980 --> 00:12:22,070 Нам дали грант!
- 00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:25,650 На три года, с оплатой всех расходов
- 00:12:25,900 --> 00:12:27,150 И когда вы уезжаете?
- 00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:29,860 Первого января
- 00:12:44,740 --> 00:12:47,830 - Привет! Какими судьбами? - Макс рассказал мне про Минск.
- 00:12:48,080 --> 00:12:52,920 Ну вот, значит, поздравляю! Это так здорово!
- 00:12:53,390 --> 00:12:55,970 Было бы еще лучше, если бы мы поехали
- 00:12:56,220 --> 00:12:59,730 Так вы не едете? А почему?
- 00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:00,900 Скажи ей, Дэвид
- 00:13:01,150 --> 00:13:05,570 "Я не хочу ехать в Минск и работать с Липсоном, Ямагучи и Фланком"
- 00:13:05,820 --> 00:13:08,650 "Я хочу остаться здесь и зажиматься со своей девушкой!"
- 00:13:08,900 --> 00:13:13,160 Все, спасибо, Макс. Спасибо
- 00:13:13,410 --> 00:13:15,160 Так ты правда не едешь?
- 00:13:15,410 --> 00:13:19,160 Не знаю. Я не знаю, что мне делать. Я...
- 00:13:19,410 --> 00:13:20,580 Решай ты
- 00:13:20,830 --> 00:13:22,000 - Вот этого не надо. - Пожалуйста!
- 00:13:22,250 --> 00:13:23,250 - Но я тебя прошу. - Не могу.
- 00:13:23,500 --> 00:13:25,000 - Я не могу принять решение. - Придется.
- 00:13:25,250 --> 00:13:28,590 - Просто скажи... - Ладно. Оставайся
- 00:13:29,260 --> 00:13:32,260 - Остаться. - Оставайся.
- 00:13:38,770 --> 00:13:42,100 Здорово ты научился!
- 00:13:42,350 --> 00:13:45,560 Это вещи Макса
- 00:13:52,950 --> 00:13:55,200 Обожаю эту штучку с артишоками
- 00:13:55,450 --> 00:14:00,500 Не говори мне, что там. На диету я сажусь завтра
- 00:14:03,290 --> 00:14:06,290 Помнишь Дженис, да?
- 00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:09,590 Очень ярко
- 00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:17,640 Привет, я Сэнди
- 00:14:17,890 --> 00:14:21,600 Привет, Сэнди. Проходи
- 00:14:30,230 --> 00:14:31,070 А, ты детей привела
- 00:14:31,320 --> 00:14:34,570 Ага. Можно, да?
- 00:14:36,490 --> 00:14:37,990 Гуляем!
- 00:14:38,240 --> 00:14:40,740 Нет, ЭТО я сюда не пущу!
- 00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:44,420 ЭТО? Так вот как ты встречаешь гостей?
- 00:14:44,670 --> 00:14:48,670 Если бы я пришел с девушкой, ты бы ей тоже так сказала?
- 00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:53,010 Твоя девушка не обмочила бы мой кофейный столик
- 00:14:53,260 --> 00:14:58,100 Между прочим, ему было так стыдно, как никому другому
- 00:14:58,350 --> 00:15:02,770 Знаешь, каково ему - решиться снова войти в эту комнату...
- 00:15:03,020 --> 00:15:05,270 ...как будто ничего не было...
- 00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:08,690 Ладно. Ладно. Только держи его подальше от меня
- 00:15:08,940 --> 00:15:11,440 Спасибо. Заходи, Марсель
- 00:15:11,690 --> 00:15:15,030 Что если нам с тобой немного повращаться в обществе?
- 00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:17,360 Ладно...
- 00:15:17,620 --> 00:15:21,160 ...догоню тебя потом
- 00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:27,960 О боже! Рэйчел, милая...
- 00:15:28,210 --> 00:15:29,880 ...что с тобой?
- 00:15:30,130 --> 00:15:31,550 Где Паоло?
- 00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:33,050 В Риме
- 00:15:33,300 --> 00:15:35,220 Идиот пропустил свой рейс
- 00:15:35,470 --> 00:15:38,510 А потом у тебя голова взорвалась?
- 00:15:39,050 --> 00:15:41,470 Нет! Значит, так.
- 00:15:42,140 --> 00:15:44,810 Я в аэропорту садилась в такси...
- 00:15:45,060 --> 00:15:46,480 ...и тут эта бабища...
- 00:15:46,730 --> 00:15:49,980 ...белобрысая, размером с гору, с женским романом под мышкой...
- 00:15:50,230 --> 00:15:51,570 ...начала на меня орать
- 00:15:51,820 --> 00:15:54,490 Якобы она заняла это такси первая
- 00:15:54,740 --> 00:15:58,740 И тут же стала вытаскивать меня за волосы!
- 00:15:58,990 --> 00:16:01,830 А я начала дуть в свой свисток самозащиты...
- 00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:04,660 ...и тут приехало еще три такси
- 00:16:04,910 --> 00:16:09,750 Я опять кинулась к машине, а она пошла на перехват!
- 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:16,630 В итоге я ударилась головой о бордюр и рассекла губу о свисток
- 00:16:18,930 --> 00:16:22,640 Ой, какой у вас веселый праздник!
- 00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:26,020 Гостям понравился мой соус?
- 00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:37,280 Когда я на той неделе увидела тебя в магазине...
- 00:16:37,530 --> 00:16:43,410 ...я впервые в жизни мысленно раздела эльфа
- 00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:47,620 - Ого, какой разврат! - Ага.
- 00:16:51,710 --> 00:16:54,040 Здорово, детки
- 00:16:55,130 --> 00:16:58,630 Вы посмотрите. Нет, он не обязан весь вечер сидеть со мной...
- 00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:02,140 ...но хоть бы подходил иногда
- 00:17:02,140 --> 00:17:05,560 А, вот ты где!
- 00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:08,230 Ты от меня сбежал
- 00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:10,560 А ты меня нашла
- 00:17:10,810 --> 00:17:12,480 Эй, Росс, сфотографируй нас
- 00:17:12,730 --> 00:17:16,650 Улыбочку. Ты на аппарате Дженис
- 00:17:16,900 --> 00:17:20,240 Убей меня. Немедленно!
- 00:17:22,740 --> 00:17:26,080 Эй, все, это Бобби-Весельчак!
- 00:17:27,750 --> 00:17:28,910 Привет. Извини за опоздание,
- 00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:31,170 Но у меня дедушка...
- 00:17:31,420 --> 00:17:33,080 ...умер два часа назад
- 00:17:33,330 --> 00:17:37,670 А вылететь я не смогу аж до завтра, так что...
- 00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:39,420 ...вот он я
- 00:17:39,670 --> 00:17:42,430 Привет, Весельчак! Как дела, дружбан?
- 00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:45,470 Ого! Кто у нас умер?
- 00:17:49,350 --> 00:17:53,190 Ну, хотя бы гроб будет открытым, понимаете?
- 00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:57,860 Я хотя бы увижу его напоследок
- 00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:03,990 Я закажу целый плакат с надписью блестками "Воссоединение"
- 00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:07,830 Ну все, Дженис, с меня хватит!
- 00:18:07,830 --> 00:18:10,910 Дженис! Дженис. Так, Дженис.
- 00:18:11,120 --> 00:18:14,130 Когда я пригласил тебя, я не имел в виду, что мы опять...
- 00:18:14,380 --> 00:18:18,130 О нет!
- 00:18:20,630 --> 00:18:23,220 - Извини, что не сказал прямо. - Боже мой!
- 00:18:23,470 --> 00:18:25,640 Послушай меня, Чендлер! Слушай внимательно!
- 00:18:25,890 --> 00:18:32,180 Один из таких случаев может оказаться твоим последним шансом!
- 00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:36,060 Отдай мне эту штуку
- 00:18:38,230 --> 00:18:39,230 Привет, Макс
- 00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:42,110 Привет, Йоко
- 00:18:45,660 --> 00:18:50,490 Я решил поехать в Минск без тебя
- 00:18:50,910 --> 00:18:53,410 Конечно, это будет не то...
- 00:18:53,660 --> 00:18:55,420 ...но все-таки Минск есть Минск
- 00:18:55,670 --> 00:18:58,840 С Новым Годом
- 00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:00,500 Ты как, нормально?
- 00:19:00,750 --> 00:19:04,180 Да, я в порядке. Все нормально
- 00:19:11,640 --> 00:19:13,680 Ты едешь в Минск
- 00:19:13,930 --> 00:19:15,850 Нет, я не еду в Минск
- 00:19:16,100 --> 00:19:17,770 Нет, ты еще как едешь в Минск
- 00:19:18,020 --> 00:19:21,030 Твое место - в Минске. Нельзя тебе оставаться ради меня
- 00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:24,530 Можно. Если я уеду, мне придется расстаться с тобой
- 00:19:24,780 --> 00:19:27,950 - А я не могу с тобой расстаться. - Нет, можешь.
- 00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:32,620 Просто скажи: "Фиби, я тебя люблю, но работа - это моя жизнь."
- 00:19:32,870 --> 00:19:34,540 "Я сейчас не могу поступить по-другому."
- 00:19:34,790 --> 00:19:39,210 А я скажу: "Работа? Работа?! Как ты можешь такое говорить?"
- 00:19:39,710 --> 00:19:42,000 А ты скажешь: "Я разрываюсь на части...
- 00:19:42,250 --> 00:19:44,880 ...но у меня нет выбора. Разве ты не понимаешь?"
- 00:19:45,130 --> 00:19:46,880 А я скажу: "Нет!"
- 00:19:47,130 --> 00:19:49,890 "Нет! Я этого никогда не пойму!"
- 00:19:49,890 --> 00:19:50,930 - Ой. - Извини.
- 00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:55,560 И в этом месте ты меня обнимаешь...
- 00:19:55,810 --> 00:19:57,390 Давай, обнимай
- 00:19:57,650 --> 00:19:59,730 Извини
- 00:19:59,980 --> 00:20:04,490 И говоришь мне, что любишь меня, и никогда меня не забудешь
- 00:20:04,740 --> 00:20:08,200 Я никогда тебя не забуду
- 00:20:08,450 --> 00:20:11,200 А потом говоришь, что уже почти полночь, и тебе пора...
- 00:20:11,450 --> 00:20:17,580 ...потому что нельзя начинать год со мной, если не получится его закончить.
- 00:20:22,550 --> 00:20:24,130 Я буду скучать по тебе...
- 00:20:24,380 --> 00:20:27,630 ...яйцеголовый ты мой
- 00:20:28,590 --> 00:20:30,430 Привет, в прямом эфире Дик Кларк с Таймс-Сквер
- 00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:35,600 Здесь, на Таймс-Сквер, мы стоим посреди целого бурана конфетти
- 00:20:35,850 --> 00:20:37,560 С каждым годом праздник все лучше
- 00:20:37,810 --> 00:20:39,940 Вот так, детки
- 00:20:40,190 --> 00:20:43,400 И в итоге павлин меня укусил
- 00:20:43,650 --> 00:20:47,030 Прошу, поцелуй меня в полночь!
- 00:20:50,700 --> 00:20:51,530 Ты видел Сэнди?
- 00:20:51,780 --> 00:20:54,200 Как бы это правильно сказать...
- 00:20:54,450 --> 00:20:58,540 ...она в спальне, налаживает отношения с Максом, этим ботаном.
- 00:20:58,790 --> 00:21:02,040 Гляди-ка! Я сумел правильно сказать
- 00:21:02,290 --> 00:21:04,710 Эй, люди, минута до Нового Года
- 00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:06,760 Что?
- 00:21:07,010 --> 00:21:10,430 Сейчас часы пробьют!
- 00:21:11,550 --> 00:21:13,890 Через двадцать секунд наступит полночь
- 00:21:14,140 --> 00:21:17,220 И вот он, радостный момент
- 00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:20,560 Кажется, договор о празднике без пар все-таки выполнен
- 00:21:20,810 --> 00:21:23,270 Все такие счастливые. Ненавижу!
- 00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:25,820 Нет, счастливы не все. Эй, Бобби!
- 00:21:26,070 --> 00:21:28,740 - Четыре, три, два...
- 00:21:28,990 --> 00:21:33,320 ...один! С Новым Годом!
- 00:21:33,820 --> 00:21:36,830 Я тут подумал об одном варианте. Я не математик, но...
- 00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:43,000 ...мне кажется, здесь у нас есть три девчонки и три парня
- 00:21:43,500 --> 00:21:46,340 Мне не хочется сейчас никого целовать
- 00:21:46,590 --> 00:21:48,300 А я не могу никого целовать
- 00:21:48,550 --> 00:21:50,840 Так что, мне целовать всех?
- 00:21:51,090 --> 00:21:54,050 Тебе нельзя целовать Росса. Он твой брат
- 00:21:54,300 --> 00:21:57,060 Отлично. Теперь всех целуют, кроме меня
- 00:21:57,310 --> 00:21:58,520 Кто-нибудь, поцелуйте меня
- 00:21:58,770 --> 00:22:02,600 Кто-нибудь, поцелуйте! Уже полночь! Кто-нибудь, поцелуйте! Уже полночь!
- 00:22:02,850 --> 00:22:04,860 Ладно, ладно, ладно!
- 00:22:05,110 --> 00:22:07,690 На тебе!
- 00:22:13,780 --> 00:22:16,780 Я так хотел, чтобы у нас все получилось
- 00:22:17,030 --> 00:22:18,700 Я все еще стараюсь, понимаешь?
- 00:22:18,950 --> 00:22:22,290 Меняю ему подгузники. Выбираю блох
- 00:22:22,540 --> 00:22:26,050 А он... вроде так и надо
- 00:22:26,050 --> 00:22:26,380 Как тяжело принять, что кто-то, кого ты так любишь... А он... вроде так и надо
- 00:22:26,380 --> 00:22:28,630 Как тяжело принять, что кто-то, кого ты так любишь...
- 00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:31,640 ...не отвечает тебе взаимностью, понимаешь?
- 00:22:31,890 --> 00:22:36,470 Из-за этой суки у меня зуб треснул
- 00:22:38,230 --> 00:22:40,900 Перевод В.Бродового
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