Эпизод с большим пальцем
Описание
Фиби возвращается с неудачного свидания: парень на прощанье сказал ей «надо будет повторить». Рэйчел не понимает, что в этом плохого, т.к. её свидания всегда удавались. Друзья обсуждают фразы, которые имеют скрытый смысл при общении: так например фраза «Нужно повторить» означает «Ты никогда не увидишь меня голым!» или «когда твои родители усыпляют собаку, а тебе говорят, что отвезли её на ферму». Так Росс узнает, что его родители солгали ему в детстве о смерти их собаки Чи-Чи. Джоуи предстоит пройти очередное прослушивание. Проблема в том, что ему нужно изобразить курящего персонажа, а делает он это неестественно, так как никогда не курил. Чендлер решает показать другу, как нужно правильно держать сигарету: он сам был курильщиком 3 года назад. После чего, Чендлер снова начинает курить. Он курит в кафе и на работе, однако старается скрыть это от окружающих. Моника начинает встречаться с новым парнем, Аланом, но не хочется знакомить его с остальными, потому что им никогда не нравятся её возлюбленные. К удивлению девушки, после встречи с Аланом, компашка оказывается от него в восторге: они вместе проводят вечера, ходят на игру и восхищаются его словами. На банковский счет Фиби по ошибке зачисляют 500 долларов, но совесть не позволяет ей потратить деньги. Она обращается в банк, за что, в благодарность, ей начисляют ещё 500 долларов и дарят телефон виде футбольного мяча. Фиби отдает телефон и 1 000 $ знакомой бездомной Лиззи, та в благодарность покупает ей банку содовой. Открыв банку, Фиби обнаруживает там человеческий большой палец. После этого инцидента компания по производству напитка выплачивает ей компенсацию в 7 000$. Закурив очередной раз в кафе, Чендлер подвергся нападкам друзей, умоляющих его бросить эту вредную привычку. В ответ он провоцирует ссору между друзьями, указывая на их собственные недостатки: никому не нравится когда Джоуи хрустит пальцами, Фиби жует волосы, Моника хрюкает, когда смеется, Росс протягивает слова, а Рэйчел путает заказы. Пока ребята кричат друг на друга, Чендлер удовлетворенный уходит, куря сигарету. Чуть позже Алан по телефону все же убеждает Чендлера бросить курить. Моника начинает понимать, что между ней и Аланом нет искры. Она хочет порвать с ним, но рассказать об этом друзьям боится больше, чем самому Алану. Когда они все-таки узнают, то огорчаются так, будто это их только что бросил возлюбленный. Сам Алан принял разрыв спокойно: он признался, что ему нравилось проводить время с Моникой, но вот её друзья ему сильно докучали. Моника возвращается домой, где друзья ждут от нее вестей. Моника врет ребятам, что Алан будет скучать по ним. Чендлер с горя снова начал курить, а Фиби кричит ему в след, «если ты сейчас же бросишь я дам тебе 7 000 $!». Чендлер соглашается
Субтитры
- 00:00:05,755 --> 00:00:07,423 - Hi, guys. JOEY: Hey, Phoebe.
- 00:00:07,632 --> 00:00:08,924 Hey, oh, how did it go?
- 00:00:09,134 --> 00:00:10,175 Um, not so good.
- 00:00:10,385 --> 00:00:13,178 He walked me to the subway and said, "We should do this again."
- 00:00:13,388 --> 00:00:16,056 - Ouch. - What? He said, "We should do it again."
- 00:00:16,266 --> 00:00:17,307 That's good, right?
- 00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:20,602 Uh, no. Loosely translated, "We should do this again," means:
- 00:00:20,812 --> 00:00:22,855 "You will never see me naked."
- 00:00:24,065 --> 00:00:25,274 Since when?
- 00:00:25,483 --> 00:00:28,819 Since always. It's, like, dating language.
- 00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:32,239 You know, like, "It's not you," means, "It is you."
- 00:00:33,616 --> 00:00:34,992 "You're such a nice guy," means:
- 00:00:35,201 --> 00:00:37,161 "I'm gonna be dating leather-wearing alcoholics...
- 00:00:37,370 --> 00:00:39,788 ...and complaining about them to you."
- 00:00:40,623 --> 00:00:43,292 Or, you know, um, "I think we should see other people," means:
- 00:00:43,501 --> 00:00:45,002 "Ha, ha, I already am."
- 00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:47,880 And everybody knows this?
- 00:00:48,089 --> 00:00:50,049 Oh, yeah. Cushions the blow.
- 00:00:50,258 --> 00:00:52,801 Like when you're a kid and your parents put your dog to sleep...
- 00:00:53,011 --> 00:00:55,429 ...and they tell you it went off to live on some farm.
- 00:00:55,638 --> 00:00:58,682 That's funny. No, because, uh, our parents actually did...
- 00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:01,393 ...uh, send our dog off to live on a farm.
- 00:01:01,603 --> 00:01:04,313 Uh, Ross?
- 00:01:05,148 --> 00:01:08,567 Ha, ha. Hello. The Milner's farm in Connecticut?
- 00:01:08,777 --> 00:01:11,195 The Milners, they had this unbelievable farm.
- 00:01:11,404 --> 00:01:13,947 They had horses and rabbits that he could chase.
- 00:01:14,157 --> 00:01:15,991 And it was...
- 00:01:18,578 --> 00:01:20,954 Oh, my God. Chi-Chi.
- 00:02:15,218 --> 00:02:18,095 CHANDLER: "So how does it feel knowing you're about to die?"
- 00:02:18,304 --> 00:02:21,640 Warden, in five minutes my pain will be over.
- 00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:26,728 But you'll have to live with the knowledge that you sent an honest man to die.
- 00:02:27,939 --> 00:02:29,648 - Hey, that was really good. - Yeah?
- 00:02:29,858 --> 00:02:31,191 - Yeah. - Thanks. Let's keep going.
- 00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:36,238 Okay. "So, what do you want from me, Dimon? Huh?"
- 00:02:38,783 --> 00:02:42,661 I just wanna go back to my cell, because in my cell, I can smoke.
- 00:02:42,871 --> 00:02:44,621 "Smoke away."
- 00:02:52,505 --> 00:02:53,964 Heh.
- 00:02:55,633 --> 00:02:57,384 [COUGHING]
- 00:02:57,886 --> 00:03:01,513 I think this is probably why Dimon smokes in his cell alone.
- 00:03:02,557 --> 00:03:04,391 - What? - Relax your hand.
- 00:03:04,601 --> 00:03:06,351 Let your wrist go.
- 00:03:06,561 --> 00:03:07,603 - Not so much. - Whoa.
- 00:03:07,812 --> 00:03:09,062 Hey.
- 00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:12,107 All right. Now try taking a puff.
- 00:03:12,567 --> 00:03:13,984 Right.
- 00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:19,239 - Okay, no, give it to me. - No, no, no. I'm not giving you a cigarette.
- 00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:22,784 No, it's fine. It's fine. Look, do you want to get this part or not? Here.
- 00:03:23,578 --> 00:03:26,622 All right. Now, don't think of it as a cigarette.
- 00:03:26,831 --> 00:03:30,834 Think of it as the thing that has been missing from your hand.
- 00:03:31,669 --> 00:03:33,962 When you're holding it, you feel right.
- 00:03:34,172 --> 00:03:36,506 - You feel complete. - You miss it?
- 00:03:36,716 --> 00:03:38,342 No, not so much.
- 00:03:40,094 --> 00:03:42,346 All right. Now we smoke.
- 00:03:45,099 --> 00:03:47,601 Oh, my God.
- 00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:56,693 No, no, no.
- 00:03:56,903 --> 00:04:00,072 They say it's the same as the distance from the tip of a guy's thumb...
- 00:04:00,281 --> 00:04:01,907 ...to the tip of his index finger.
- 00:04:08,539 --> 00:04:10,290 That's ridiculous.
- 00:04:11,709 --> 00:04:13,168 Can I use either thumb?
- 00:04:15,213 --> 00:04:17,589 All right. Don't tell me, don't tell me.
- 00:04:18,383 --> 00:04:21,260 Decaf cappuccino for Joey.
- 00:04:23,221 --> 00:04:24,972 Coffee, black.
- 00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:27,307 Latte.
- 00:04:29,435 --> 00:04:30,602 And an iced tea.
- 00:04:31,229 --> 00:04:34,231 - I'm getting pretty good at this. - Excellent. That's very good.
- 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:35,857 Good for me.
- 00:04:45,034 --> 00:04:46,451 [MUMBLING]
- 00:04:49,622 --> 00:04:52,457 - You okay, Phoebe? - Yeah, no, it's not even worth...
- 00:04:52,667 --> 00:04:54,001 It's my bank.
- 00:04:54,210 --> 00:04:55,460 What did they do to you?
- 00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:57,504 It's nothing, it's just... Okay.
- 00:04:57,714 --> 00:05:00,340 I'm going through my mail, and I open up their monthly "statement."
- 00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:02,009 Easy.
- 00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:06,680 And there's 500 extra dollars in my account.
- 00:05:06,889 --> 00:05:10,142 Oh, Satan's minions at work again.
- 00:05:10,852 --> 00:05:13,312 Yes, because now I have to go down there and deal with them...
- 00:05:13,521 --> 00:05:16,732 - What are you talking about? Keep it. - It's not mine.
- 00:05:16,941 --> 00:05:19,568 I didn't earn it. If I kept it, it would be like stealing.
- 00:05:19,777 --> 00:05:23,363 Yeah, but if you spent it, it would be like shopping.
- 00:05:24,574 --> 00:05:25,699 Okay. Okay.
- 00:05:25,908 --> 00:05:27,993 Let's say I bought a really great pair of shoes.
- 00:05:28,202 --> 00:05:30,495 Do you know what I'd hear with every step I took?
- 00:05:30,705 --> 00:05:33,123 "Not mine. Not mine. Not mine."
- 00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:36,168 And even if I was happy, okay, and skipping...
- 00:05:36,377 --> 00:05:39,546 ...I'd hear, "Not mine. Not mine."
- 00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:41,381 We're with you. We got it.
- 00:05:41,591 --> 00:05:46,636 Okay, I'd never be able to enjoy it. It'd be like this giant karmic debt.
- 00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:49,222 Chandler, what are you doing? Hey.
- 00:05:49,432 --> 00:05:51,266 What are you doing?
- 00:05:54,312 --> 00:05:56,355 Oh, gross.
- 00:05:57,065 --> 00:05:59,399 - What is this? - I'm smoking. I'm smoking. I'm smoking.
- 00:05:59,609 --> 00:06:02,194 I can't believe you. You've been so good for three years.
- 00:06:02,403 --> 00:06:04,988 And this is my reward.
- 00:06:06,282 --> 00:06:09,659 Hold on a second. Just think about what you went through the last time you quit.
- 00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:11,745 Okay, so this time I won't quit.
- 00:06:11,954 --> 00:06:14,456 - Put it out. - All right. I'm putting it out.
- 00:06:15,750 --> 00:06:17,376 Oh, no.
- 00:06:17,585 --> 00:06:19,544 I can't drink this now.
- 00:06:23,591 --> 00:06:25,675 All right, I'm gonna go change. I've got a date.
- 00:06:25,885 --> 00:06:28,345 Is this Alan again? How's it going?
- 00:06:28,554 --> 00:06:32,682 It's going pretty good, you know? It's nice and we're having fun.
- 00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:34,851 - So when do we get to meet the guy? ROSS: Yeah.
- 00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:36,812 Let's see, today's Monday...
- 00:06:37,021 --> 00:06:38,897 - Never. - Come on.
- 00:06:39,107 --> 00:06:42,109 - No, not after what happened with Steve. - What are you talking about?
- 00:06:42,318 --> 00:06:45,779 [LISPING] We love Steve. Steve was sexy.
- 00:06:48,699 --> 00:06:49,741 [IN NORMAL VOICE] Sorry.
- 00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:53,078 Look, I don't know how I feel about him yet. Give me a chance to figure it out.
- 00:06:53,287 --> 00:06:54,913 Well, then can we meet him?
- 00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:56,456 No.
- 00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:58,250 [LISPING] Sorry.
- 00:07:01,712 --> 00:07:03,171 Why should I let them meet him?
- 00:07:03,381 --> 00:07:06,299 I bring a guy home and within five minutes they're all over him.
- 00:07:06,509 --> 00:07:10,345 I mean, they're like coyotes picking off the weak members of the herd.
- 00:07:11,055 --> 00:07:15,392 Listen, as someone who's seen more than her share of bad beef...
- 00:07:15,601 --> 00:07:19,396 ...I'll tell you, that is not such a terrible thing.
- 00:07:19,605 --> 00:07:22,107 Come on, they're your friends. They're looking out after you.
- 00:07:22,316 --> 00:07:25,652 I know, I know. I wish that once I'd bring a guy home they actually liked.
- 00:07:25,862 --> 00:07:29,573 Well, you do realize that the odds of that happening are a little slimmer...
- 00:07:29,782 --> 00:07:31,616 ...if they never get to meet the guy.
- 00:07:33,578 --> 00:07:35,120 Let it go, Ross.
- 00:07:35,329 --> 00:07:37,080 Yeah? Well, you didn't know Chi-Chi.
- 00:07:41,252 --> 00:07:42,419 MONICA: Do you all promise?
- 00:07:42,628 --> 00:07:45,338 - Yeah, we promise. We'll be good. JOEY: We promise.
- 00:07:45,548 --> 00:07:48,467 Chandler, do you promise to be good?
- 00:07:51,095 --> 00:07:52,637 [THUNDER CRASHING]
- 00:07:56,058 --> 00:08:00,270 You can come in, but your filter tip little buddy has to stay outside.
- 00:08:06,694 --> 00:08:08,195 ROSS: Hey, Pheebs.
- 00:08:10,072 --> 00:08:13,241 "Dear Ms. Buffay: Thank you for calling attention to our error.
- 00:08:13,451 --> 00:08:17,579 We have credited your account $500. We're sorry for the inconvenience...
- 00:08:17,788 --> 00:08:20,665 ...and hope you'll accept this football phone...
- 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:25,921 ...as our free gift." Do you believe this?
- 00:08:26,130 --> 00:08:29,382 Now I have $1000 and a football phone.
- 00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:33,345 What bank is this?
- 00:08:33,554 --> 00:08:34,638 [DOOR BUZZES]
- 00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:36,389 Okay, it's him.
- 00:08:38,059 --> 00:08:39,100 - Who is it? ALAN: Alan.
- 00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:41,102 Chandler. He's here.
- 00:08:44,232 --> 00:08:46,608 Okay, please be good. Please?
- 00:08:46,817 --> 00:08:48,527 I mean, remember how much you like me.
- 00:08:48,736 --> 00:08:50,237 [KNOCKING ON DOOR]
- 00:08:50,947 --> 00:08:54,491 Hi. Alan, this is everybody. Everybody, this is Alan.
- 00:08:56,118 --> 00:08:58,370 - Hi. GROUP: Hey.
- 00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:02,457 [LISPING] I've heard so much about all you guys.
- 00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:11,174 MONICA: Thanks, I'll call you tomorrow.
- 00:09:14,262 --> 00:09:15,679 Okay.
- 00:09:15,888 --> 00:09:19,307 Okay, let's let the Alan-bashing begin.
- 00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:21,351 Who's gonna take the first shot?
- 00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:22,727 Hmm?
- 00:09:23,145 --> 00:09:24,521 Come on.
- 00:09:25,439 --> 00:09:26,898 I'll go.
- 00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:31,987 Let's start with the way he kept picking at...
- 00:09:32,196 --> 00:09:33,655 You know, I'm sorry, I can't do this.
- 00:09:33,864 --> 00:09:35,323 Can't do it. We loved him.
- 00:09:35,533 --> 00:09:38,118 GROUP: We loved him. - Wait a minute.
- 00:09:38,327 --> 00:09:40,412 We're talking about someone that I'm going out with?
- 00:09:40,621 --> 00:09:42,414 GROUP: Yes. - And did you notice?
- 00:09:42,623 --> 00:09:43,957 GROUP: Yeah.
- 00:09:48,504 --> 00:09:51,464 Know what was great? The way his smile was kind of crooked.
- 00:09:51,674 --> 00:09:53,675 Yes, yes. Like the man in the shoe.
- 00:09:54,552 --> 00:09:55,677 What shoe?
- 00:09:57,096 --> 00:09:58,430 From the nursery rhyme.
- 00:09:58,639 --> 00:10:00,890 "There was a crooked man who had a crooked smile...
- 00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:03,727 ...who lived in a shoe for a while..."
- 00:10:06,814 --> 00:10:09,024 So I think Alan...
- 00:10:09,233 --> 00:10:10,442 ...will become the yardstick...
- 00:10:10,651 --> 00:10:13,403 ...against which all future boyfriends will be measured.
- 00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:14,779 What future boyfriends?
- 00:10:14,989 --> 00:10:17,532 No, no. I think this could be, you know, "it."
- 00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:18,825 - Really? - Oh, yeah.
- 00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:22,495 I'd marry him just for his David Hasselhoff impression alone.
- 00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:25,332 You know I'm gonna be doing that at parties, right?
- 00:10:29,128 --> 00:10:31,630 - You know what I like most about him? - What?
- 00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:35,675 The way he makes me feel about myself.
- 00:10:38,512 --> 00:10:40,055 ALL: Yeah.
- 00:10:53,277 --> 00:10:54,861 Hi.
- 00:10:57,198 --> 00:10:58,365 How was the game?
- 00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:01,117 Well...
- 00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:03,870 - We won! - We won! Thank you! Yeah.
- 00:11:04,705 --> 00:11:07,624 Fantastic. I have one question: How is that possible?
- 00:11:08,709 --> 00:11:11,002 - Alan. - He was unbelievable.
- 00:11:11,212 --> 00:11:14,756 He was like that Bugs Bunny cartoon where Bugs is playing all the positions.
- 00:11:14,965 --> 00:11:18,426 But instead of Bugs, it was first base, Alan. Second base, Alan...
- 00:11:22,056 --> 00:11:25,475 I mean, it was like he made us into a team.
- 00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:27,686 Yep. We sure showed those Hasidic jewelers...
- 00:11:27,895 --> 00:11:30,522 ...a thing or two about softball. - Nice.
- 00:11:31,857 --> 00:11:33,441 Can I ask you guys a question?
- 00:11:33,651 --> 00:11:36,111 Do you ever think that Alan is maybe sometimes...
- 00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:40,281 - What? - I don't know. A little too Alan?
- 00:11:40,491 --> 00:11:43,910 Oh, no. That's not possible. You can never be too Alan.
- 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:48,832 Yeah, it's his innate Alan-ness that we adore.
- 00:11:49,166 --> 00:11:51,376 - I, personally, could have a gallon of Alan. - Oh!
- 00:11:57,383 --> 00:12:00,218 - Hey, Lizzy. - Hey, Weird Girl.
- 00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:03,138 - I brought you alphabet soup. - Did you pick out the vowels?
- 00:12:03,347 --> 00:12:06,349 Yes, but I left in the Y's. Because, you know, "Sometimes Y."
- 00:12:07,143 --> 00:12:08,768 Um, I also have something else for you.
- 00:12:08,978 --> 00:12:10,061 Saltines?
- 00:12:10,271 --> 00:12:12,647 No, but would you like $1000 and a football phone?
- 00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:14,607 What?
- 00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,318 Oh, my God.
- 00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:20,196 - Oh, my God. There's really money in here. - I know.
- 00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:22,115 Weird Girl, what are you doing?
- 00:12:22,324 --> 00:12:24,242 Oh, I want you to have it. I don't want it.
- 00:12:24,952 --> 00:12:27,412 No, no. I have to give you something.
- 00:12:27,621 --> 00:12:29,247 No, it's fine. You don't...
- 00:12:29,457 --> 00:12:31,374 Do you want my tinfoil hat?
- 00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:34,461 No, because you need that. No, it's okay. Thanks.
- 00:12:34,670 --> 00:12:36,796 Please. Let me do something.
- 00:12:37,423 --> 00:12:38,840 Okay, all right. I'll tell you what.
- 00:12:39,049 --> 00:12:41,551 You buy me a soda and then we're even. Okay?
- 00:12:42,511 --> 00:12:43,803 - Okay. PHOEBE: Okay.
- 00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:47,283 Keep the change.
- 00:13:48,035 --> 00:13:49,077 Thanks, Lizzy.
- 00:13:49,286 --> 00:13:50,453 Sure you don't want a pretzel?
- 00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:53,665 - No, I'm fine. Thanks. - See you.
- 00:13:59,338 --> 00:14:01,214 Huh.
- 00:14:01,590 --> 00:14:02,924 A thumb?
- 00:14:03,133 --> 00:14:04,676 GROUP: Ew.
- 00:14:05,052 --> 00:14:07,220 I know, I know. I opened it up and there it was...
- 00:14:07,429 --> 00:14:10,849 ...just floating in there, like this tiny little hitchhiker.
- 00:14:12,768 --> 00:14:15,395 Maybe it's a contest, you know? Like "Collect all five."
- 00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:19,148 Does, um, anyone wanna see?
- 00:14:19,358 --> 00:14:20,775 No, thanks.
- 00:14:21,777 --> 00:14:24,237 - Oh, hey, don't do that. Come on. - Cut that out.
- 00:14:24,446 --> 00:14:25,947 It's worse than the thumb.
- 00:14:27,741 --> 00:14:29,534 Hey, this is so unfair.
- 00:14:29,743 --> 00:14:34,038 - Why is it unfair? - So I have a flaw. Big deal.
- 00:14:34,248 --> 00:14:36,958 Like Joey's constant knuckle-cracking isn't annoying?
- 00:14:37,167 --> 00:14:39,335 And Ross, with his over-pronouncing every single word.
- 00:14:39,545 --> 00:14:41,671 And Monica, with that snort when she laughs.
- 00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:44,215 I mean, what the hell is that thing?
- 00:14:46,176 --> 00:14:49,470 I accept all those flaws. Why can't you accept me for this?
- 00:14:56,645 --> 00:14:59,898 Does the knuckle-cracking bother everybody, or just him?
- 00:15:01,984 --> 00:15:03,359 Well...
- 00:15:03,819 --> 00:15:05,528 ...I could live without it.
- 00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:07,739 Huh.
- 00:15:08,449 --> 00:15:13,119 Well, is it, like, a little annoying? Or is it like when Phoebe chews her hair?
- 00:15:15,956 --> 00:15:19,083 Now, don't listen to him, Pheebs, all right? I think it's endearing.
- 00:15:19,293 --> 00:15:21,544 Oh, you do, do you?
- 00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:23,922 [LAUGHING]
- 00:15:24,131 --> 00:15:25,381 [SNORTS]
- 00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:30,845 You know, there's nothing wrong with speaking correctly.
- 00:15:31,055 --> 00:15:33,848 Indeed there isn't.
- 00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:37,769 I should really get back to work.
- 00:15:37,978 --> 00:15:41,064 Yeah, otherwise someone might get what they actually ordered.
- 00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:46,694 Oh. The hair comes out and the gloves come off.
- 00:15:47,279 --> 00:15:48,863 [GROUP SHOUTING]
- 00:16:02,252 --> 00:16:05,838 Did you ever go out with a guy your friends all really like?
- 00:16:06,215 --> 00:16:07,465 No.
- 00:16:08,926 --> 00:16:12,887 Okay. Well, I'm going out with a guy my friends all really like.
- 00:16:14,348 --> 00:16:16,724 We talking about the coyotes here?
- 00:16:16,934 --> 00:16:20,395 Heh. All right. A cow got through.
- 00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:22,772 Can you believe it?
- 00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:24,565 It's just, you know what?
- 00:16:24,775 --> 00:16:27,735 I just don't feel the thing.
- 00:16:27,945 --> 00:16:30,530 I mean, they feel the thing. I don't feel the thing.
- 00:16:30,781 --> 00:16:33,366 Honey, you should always...
- 00:16:33,575 --> 00:16:35,535 ...feel the thing.
- 00:16:38,122 --> 00:16:40,915 Listen, if that's how you feel about the guy, Monica, dump him.
- 00:16:41,125 --> 00:16:43,042 I know, it's just gonna be really hard.
- 00:16:43,252 --> 00:16:45,128 Yeah, he's a big boy. He'll get over it.
- 00:16:45,337 --> 00:16:50,008 No, he'll be fine. It's the other five I'm worried about.
- 00:16:50,801 --> 00:16:52,343 Do you have any respect for your body?
- 00:16:52,553 --> 00:16:54,637 Don't you realize what you're doing to yourself?
- 00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:57,098 Hey, you know, I've had it with you and your cancer...
- 00:16:57,307 --> 00:16:59,100 ...and your emphysema and your heart disease.
- 00:16:59,309 --> 00:17:02,937 The bottom line is, smoking is cool, and you know it.
- 00:17:05,441 --> 00:17:06,816 Ahem. Chandler?
- 00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,776 It's Alan. He wants to speak to you.
- 00:17:08,986 --> 00:17:10,820 Really? He does?
- 00:17:12,239 --> 00:17:14,407 Hey, buddy. What's up?
- 00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:18,369 Oh, she told you about that, huh?
- 00:17:19,163 --> 00:17:23,166 Well, yeah. I have one now and then. Well, yeah, now.
- 00:17:24,084 --> 00:17:25,877 Well, it's not that bad...
- 00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:29,672 Well, that's true.
- 00:17:32,384 --> 00:17:36,179 Gee, you know, no one's ever put it like that before.
- 00:17:36,597 --> 00:17:38,723 Well, okay. Thanks.
- 00:17:49,109 --> 00:17:50,151 God, he's good.
- 00:17:51,987 --> 00:17:53,404 If only he were a woman.
- 00:17:53,614 --> 00:17:55,406 Yeah.
- 00:18:00,496 --> 00:18:02,121 CHANDLER: Oh, Lamb Chop.
- 00:18:02,331 --> 00:18:04,957 How old is that sock?
- 00:18:06,001 --> 00:18:09,921 If I had a sock on my hand for 30 years, it'd be talking too.
- 00:18:11,465 --> 00:18:16,052 Okay, I think it's time to change somebody's nicotine patch.
- 00:18:17,429 --> 00:18:18,846 Hey.
- 00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:20,807 Where's Joey?
- 00:18:21,016 --> 00:18:24,143 Joey ate my last stick of gum, so I killed him.
- 00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:27,688 Do you think that was wrong?
- 00:18:29,441 --> 00:18:32,151 - I think he's across the hall. - Thanks.
- 00:18:32,694 --> 00:18:34,195 There you go.
- 00:18:34,988 --> 00:18:37,240 Ooh, I'm alive with pleasure now.
- 00:18:38,325 --> 00:18:41,077 Hey, Pheebs, you gonna have the rest of that Pop Tart?
- 00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:45,915 Does anyone want the rest of this Pop Tart?
- 00:18:47,501 --> 00:18:48,918 Hey, I might.
- 00:18:50,003 --> 00:18:51,337 I'm sorry.
- 00:18:51,922 --> 00:18:55,383 You know, those stupid soda people gave me $7000 for the thumb.
- 00:18:55,592 --> 00:18:57,635 - Oh, my God. - Seven thousand dollars?
- 00:18:57,845 --> 00:19:00,221 And on my way over here, I stepped in gum.
- 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,850 What is up with the universe?
- 00:19:04,059 --> 00:19:05,143 What's going on?
- 00:19:05,352 --> 00:19:08,187 Nothing. I just think it's nice when we're all here together.
- 00:19:08,397 --> 00:19:11,524 It's even nicer when everyone gets to wear their underwear.
- 00:19:14,444 --> 00:19:17,155 - Uh, Joey... - Oh.
- 00:19:19,741 --> 00:19:21,951 MONICA: Okay. - Oh, come on.
- 00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:24,120 Please, guys, we have to talk.
- 00:19:24,329 --> 00:19:27,123 Wait, wait. I'm getting a déjà vu.
- 00:19:27,332 --> 00:19:28,624 No, I'm not.
- 00:19:31,503 --> 00:19:33,629 - All right, we have to talk. - There it is.
- 00:19:37,050 --> 00:19:38,885 Okay, it's about Alan.
- 00:19:39,553 --> 00:19:41,846 There's something you should know.
- 00:19:43,348 --> 00:19:47,393 Oh, man, there's really no easy way to say this. Uh...
- 00:19:48,395 --> 00:19:50,813 I've decided to break up with Alan.
- 00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:57,361 Is there somebody else?
- 00:19:59,781 --> 00:20:01,741 No, no, no. It's just...
- 00:20:01,950 --> 00:20:04,952 ...you know, things change. People change.
- 00:20:05,329 --> 00:20:07,205 We didn't change.
- 00:20:09,791 --> 00:20:11,709 So that's it? It's over?
- 00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:14,712 Just like that?
- 00:20:15,797 --> 00:20:17,548 You know, you let your guard down.
- 00:20:17,758 --> 00:20:20,843 You know, you start to really care about someone, and I just...
- 00:20:24,348 --> 00:20:26,933 - Look, I could go on pretending... - Okay.
- 00:20:27,142 --> 00:20:29,393 No. No, that wouldn't be fair to me...
- 00:20:29,603 --> 00:20:31,395 ...it wouldn't be fair to Alan, or to you.
- 00:20:31,688 --> 00:20:33,689 Yeah, well, who wants fair?
- 00:20:33,899 --> 00:20:37,777 I mean, I just want things back, you know, the way they were.
- 00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:43,908 - I'm sorry. - Oh, she's sorry. I feel better.
- 00:20:45,661 --> 00:20:47,078 I just can't believe this.
- 00:20:47,287 --> 00:20:51,958 I mean, with the holidays coming up. I wanted him to meet my family.
- 00:20:53,126 --> 00:20:56,170 I'll meet someone else. There'll be other Alans.
- 00:20:56,380 --> 00:20:57,546 Yeah, right.
- 00:21:02,427 --> 00:21:05,972 - Are you guys gonna be okay? - Hey, hey. We'll be fine.
- 00:21:06,181 --> 00:21:08,808 We're just gonna need a little time.
- 00:21:09,726 --> 00:21:11,310 I understand.
- 00:21:16,441 --> 00:21:17,858 Wow.
- 00:21:18,068 --> 00:21:21,988 - I'm really sorry. - Yeah. I mean, I'm sorry too.
- 00:21:22,614 --> 00:21:24,782 But I gotta tell you, I'm a little relieved.
- 00:21:24,992 --> 00:21:26,867 - Relieved? - Yeah, well...
- 00:21:27,077 --> 00:21:29,412 ...I mean, I had a great time with you.
- 00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:31,831 I just can't stand your friends.
- 00:21:39,172 --> 00:21:42,383 Remember when we went to Central Park and rented boats?
- 00:21:44,428 --> 00:21:46,178 That was fun.
- 00:21:46,722 --> 00:21:50,266 Yeah. He could row like a Viking.
- 00:21:55,105 --> 00:21:57,106 - Hi. GROUP: Hi.
- 00:21:59,067 --> 00:22:00,943 So how'd it go?
- 00:22:02,029 --> 00:22:04,947 - You know. - Did he mention us?
- 00:22:10,370 --> 00:22:12,955 He says he's really gonna miss you guys.
- 00:22:19,629 --> 00:22:20,838 ROSS: You had a rough day, huh?
- 00:22:21,048 --> 00:22:23,841 - Oh, you have no idea. ROSS: Come here.
- 00:22:27,471 --> 00:22:29,764 - That's it. I'm getting cigarettes. GROUP: No, no, no.
- 00:22:29,973 --> 00:22:31,223 I don't care. I don't care.
- 00:22:31,433 --> 00:22:34,560 Game's over. I'm weak. I've gotta smoke. I've gotta have the smoke.
- 00:22:34,770 --> 00:22:37,355 If you never smoke again, I'll give you $7000.
- 00:22:38,607 --> 00:22:40,024 Yeah, all right.
- 00:22:45,822 --> 00:22:47,823 [English - US - SDH]
- 00:00:05,750 --> 00:00:07,460 - Привет, ребята. - Привет, Фибс.
- 00:00:07,710 --> 00:00:08,960 Ой, как прошло свидание?
- 00:00:09,210 --> 00:00:10,040 Так себе
- 00:00:10,290 --> 00:00:14,130 Проводил до метро и сказал "Ну что, еще увидимся"
- 00:00:14,380 --> 00:00:17,340 Что такое? Он сказал "Еще увидимся". Это же хорошо?
- 00:00:17,590 --> 00:00:20,550 Нет. В свободном переводе это значит:
- 00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:23,810 "Голым ты меня не увидишь"
- 00:00:24,060 --> 00:00:25,350 С каких это пор?
- 00:00:25,600 --> 00:00:28,850 Да всю жизнь. Это условный язык отношений
- 00:00:29,100 --> 00:00:33,440 Типа "дело не в тебе" - это "дело-то как раз в тебе"
- 00:00:33,690 --> 00:00:37,490 Или "ты такой славный" - это "Я буду встречаться с алкоголиком в черной коже...
- 00:00:37,740 --> 00:00:40,410 и жаловаться тебе на него."
- 00:00:40,660 --> 00:00:43,290 А "давай позволим себе отношения на стороне"
- 00:00:43,540 --> 00:00:46,210 Означает "Ха-ха, я уже давно себе позволяю!"
- 00:00:46,460 --> 00:00:48,670 - И все это знают? - Конечно!
- 00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:50,040 Смягчает удар
- 00:00:50,290 --> 00:00:52,630 Как в детстве родители, усыпляя собачку...
- 00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:55,170 ...якобы отправляли ее "на ферму"
- 00:00:55,420 --> 00:00:58,720 А кстати, ведь наши родители как раз...
- 00:00:58,970 --> 00:01:02,550 ...и отправили собаку на такую ферму
- 00:01:02,810 --> 00:01:05,850 Росс...
- 00:01:05,850 --> 00:01:08,520 Что? Аллё! На ферму Миллнеров в Коннектикуте!
- 00:01:08,770 --> 00:01:11,110 У Миллнеров была такая классная ферма
- 00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:13,860 И лошади, и за кроликами побегать...
- 00:01:14,110 --> 00:01:17,070 А еще там...
- 00:01:18,570 --> 00:01:22,490 О боже! Чичи!
- 00:01:23,240 --> 00:01:27,450 1-й сезон, 3-я серия "Палец"
- 00:02:15,210 --> 00:02:18,080 "И каково это: знать, что скоро умрешь?"
- 00:02:18,330 --> 00:02:21,670 Моя боль через пять минут пройдет
- 00:02:21,920 --> 00:02:27,680 А тебе придется жить, сознавая, что ты послал невинного на смерть
- 00:02:27,930 --> 00:02:29,930 Это было хорошо!
- 00:02:30,180 --> 00:02:32,060 Да? Спасибо. Продолжаем
- 00:02:32,310 --> 00:02:37,770 "Так что ты хочешь от меня, Дамон? Ну?"
- 00:02:38,770 --> 00:02:42,690 "Я хочу вернуться в камеру, ведь там я могу покурить."
- 00:02:42,940 --> 00:02:45,400 "Что ж, кури!"
- 00:02:57,870 --> 00:03:02,290 Наверное, именно поэтому Дамон и курит один в своей камере
- 00:03:02,540 --> 00:03:04,460 - Что? - Расслабь руку.
- 00:03:04,710 --> 00:03:06,460 Не напрягай запястье
- 00:03:06,710 --> 00:03:09,180 Знай меру
- 00:03:10,010 --> 00:03:12,300 Теперь попробуй затянуться
- 00:03:12,550 --> 00:03:15,680 Так...
- 00:03:15,850 --> 00:03:16,770 А ну-ка дай мне
- 00:03:17,020 --> 00:03:19,310 Нет-нет, я не дам тебе сигарету!
- 00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:23,400 Да ну... Ты хочешь получить роль или нет?
- 00:03:23,650 --> 00:03:26,650 Так вот. Не думай о ней как о сигарете
- 00:03:26,900 --> 00:03:31,410 Это просто недостающая часть твоей руки
- 00:03:31,660 --> 00:03:33,950 Теперь она на своем месте
- 00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:35,410 Ты чувствуешь завершенность
- 00:03:35,660 --> 00:03:36,580 Соскучился?
- 00:03:36,830 --> 00:03:39,870 Не очень
- 00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:43,840 Так, теперь курим
- 00:03:45,090 --> 00:03:49,010 Боже мой!
- 00:03:56,720 --> 00:04:00,140 Нет, там пишут, что средняя длина равна расстоянию...
- 00:04:00,390 --> 00:04:04,230 ...от кончика большого пальца до кончика указательного
- 00:04:08,530 --> 00:04:11,450 Курам на смех!
- 00:04:11,700 --> 00:04:14,780 А палец другой руки можно?
- 00:04:15,330 --> 00:04:18,120 Так, не говорите, не говорите
- 00:04:18,370 --> 00:04:23,040 Для Джои - капучино без кофеина
- 00:04:23,210 --> 00:04:25,840 Черный кофе
- 00:04:26,090 --> 00:04:28,800 Латэ
- 00:04:29,420 --> 00:04:30,630 И чай со льдом
- 00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:32,260 Я все выучила
- 00:04:32,510 --> 00:04:34,300 Отлично! Прекрасно!
- 00:04:34,550 --> 00:04:37,350 Я молодчинка!
- 00:04:49,730 --> 00:04:50,570 Фиби, все нормально?
- 00:04:50,820 --> 00:04:52,360 Да ничего
- 00:04:52,610 --> 00:04:54,030 Просто мой банк!
- 00:04:54,280 --> 00:04:56,370 Что они наделали?
- 00:04:56,620 --> 00:05:00,540 Я смотрю почту, открываю это их ежемесячное ИЗВЕЩЕНИЕ!
- 00:05:00,790 --> 00:05:03,500 Тихо, тихо!
- 00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:07,130 А на моем счету лишние 500 долларов
- 00:05:07,380 --> 00:05:10,590 Ой, снова происки сатаны!
- 00:05:10,840 --> 00:05:13,340 И теперь надо идти с ними разбираться!
- 00:05:13,590 --> 00:05:15,390 Ты чего? Оставь себе!
- 00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:16,720 Эти деньги - не мои
- 00:05:16,970 --> 00:05:19,600 Если оставлю, я как бы украду
- 00:05:19,850 --> 00:05:24,890 А если потратишь, то как бы приоденешься
- 00:05:25,940 --> 00:05:27,980 Скажем, куплю я хорошие туфли
- 00:05:28,230 --> 00:05:30,440 И что я услышу в каждом шаге?
- 00:05:30,690 --> 00:05:33,280 Не-мои, не-мои, не-мои
- 00:05:33,530 --> 00:05:36,200 А если от радости бежать вприпрыжку,
- 00:05:36,450 --> 00:05:39,580 то будет "Не-не-мои, не-не-мои"
- 00:05:39,830 --> 00:05:42,410 Мы тебя поддерживаем
- 00:05:42,660 --> 00:05:46,710 В общем, никакой радости. Возник бы огромный кармический долг
- 00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:49,250 Чендлер, что ты делаешь?
- 00:05:49,500 --> 00:05:52,710 Эй, что ты делаешь?
- 00:05:54,300 --> 00:05:56,800 Фу, гадость!
- 00:05:57,050 --> 00:05:58,010 Что это такое?
- 00:05:58,260 --> 00:05:59,510 Я курю! Я курю!
- 00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:02,220 Но ты же держался три года!
- 00:06:02,470 --> 00:06:06,140 И это - моя награда
- 00:06:06,390 --> 00:06:09,730 Но ты только вспомни, как тяжело тебе было бросать в прошлый раз
- 00:06:09,980 --> 00:06:12,440 Значит, в этот раз я не брошу
- 00:06:12,690 --> 00:06:15,490 Ладно! Сейчас потушу!
- 00:06:15,740 --> 00:06:17,240 Ой, нет!
- 00:06:17,490 --> 00:06:21,080 Теперь это пить нельзя
- 00:06:23,580 --> 00:06:25,710 Ладно. Пойду переоденусь к свиданию
- 00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:28,370 Опять с этим Аланом? Как идут дела?
- 00:06:28,630 --> 00:06:32,710 Неплохо. Нам хорошо и интересно вместе
- 00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:34,760 А когда нас познакомишь?
- 00:06:35,010 --> 00:06:36,840 Так, сегодня понедельник...
- 00:06:37,090 --> 00:06:38,760 Никогда!
- 00:06:39,010 --> 00:06:40,970 Нет уж, после того, что было со Стивом
- 00:06:41,220 --> 00:06:42,220 Ты о чем?
- 00:06:42,470 --> 00:06:47,270 Мы любили Штива. Штив был ш-шупер!
- 00:06:48,810 --> 00:06:49,690 Прошу прощения
- 00:06:49,940 --> 00:06:53,020 Я еще даже не разобралась в своих чувствах. Надо подумать
- 00:06:53,270 --> 00:06:55,900 - Так познакомишь? - Нет.
- 00:06:56,530 --> 00:06:58,610 Проштите!
- 00:07:01,700 --> 00:07:03,240 Вот зачем мне это надо?
- 00:07:03,490 --> 00:07:06,830 Я привожу парня, и через пять минут они уже рвут его...
- 00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:10,790 ...как шакалы - беспомощную жертву
- 00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:15,460 Послушай меня. Я повидала много всякого дерьма в штанах...
- 00:07:15,710 --> 00:07:19,430 ...и скажу, что не так уж это и плохо
- 00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:22,140 Твои друзья о тебе заботятся
- 00:07:22,390 --> 00:07:25,680 Вот бы хоть раз привести домой парня, который бы им понравился
- 00:07:25,930 --> 00:07:29,520 Ну, понимаешь, вряд ли это вообще случится...
- 00:07:29,770 --> 00:07:33,310 ...если ты так никогда их и не познакомишь
- 00:07:33,570 --> 00:07:35,070 Успокойся, Росс
- 00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:38,650 Ты не знал Чичи
- 00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:42,370 Вы все обещаете?
- 00:07:42,620 --> 00:07:45,240 Обещаем вести себя хорошо!
- 00:07:45,490 --> 00:07:49,910 Чендлер, ты обещаешь?
- 00:07:56,170 --> 00:08:01,840 Заходи, но оставь снаружи своего маленького друга с фильтром!
- 00:08:10,060 --> 00:08:11,270 "Уважаемая мисс Буффе:
- 00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:13,100 Спасибо за указание на нашу ошибку
- 00:08:13,350 --> 00:08:17,530 Мы пополнили ваш счет на 500 дол. Приносим вам извинения.
- 00:08:17,780 --> 00:08:22,240 В качестве компенсации примите этот футбольный телефон...
- 00:08:23,910 --> 00:08:25,910 ...от банка в подарок." Ну как вам?
- 00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:30,910 Теперь у меня тысяча долларов и футбольный телефон!
- 00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:34,080 А какой у тебя банк?
- 00:08:34,330 --> 00:08:37,880 Ну все, это он
- 00:08:38,090 --> 00:08:39,170 - Кто там? - Алан.
- 00:08:39,420 --> 00:08:42,630 Чендлер! Он пришел!
- 00:08:44,220 --> 00:08:46,600 Умоляю, будьте умницами
- 00:08:46,850 --> 00:08:51,020 Помните, как вы меня любите
- 00:08:51,980 --> 00:08:56,060 Алан, это все. Все, это Алан
- 00:08:59,530 --> 00:09:03,950 Я штолько про ваш шлышал!
- 00:09:09,620 --> 00:09:12,910 Ну пока. Созвонимся завтра
- 00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:19,340 Теперь можете начинать расправу над Аланом
- 00:09:19,590 --> 00:09:22,970 Кто нанесет первый удар?
- 00:09:23,300 --> 00:09:25,180 Ну давайте!
- 00:09:25,430 --> 00:09:28,350 Я начну
- 00:09:29,560 --> 00:09:32,060 Что это он все время...
- 00:09:32,310 --> 00:09:33,690 Извини, не могу
- 00:09:33,940 --> 00:09:35,350 Мы его полюбили
- 00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:36,860 Обожаем его!
- 00:09:37,110 --> 00:09:38,190 Подождите!
- 00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:41,360 Это вы о парне, с которым я встречаюсь?
- 00:09:41,610 --> 00:09:44,900 А вы заметили?
- 00:09:48,580 --> 00:09:51,540 Круто, что у него улыбка немножко зловещая
- 00:09:51,790 --> 00:09:54,290 Да! Как у человека в ботинке!
- 00:09:54,540 --> 00:09:56,830 Каком ботинке?
- 00:09:57,080 --> 00:09:58,420 Из детской песенки
- 00:09:58,670 --> 00:10:00,840 "Человек в ботинке жил, улыбался злобно.
- 00:10:01,090 --> 00:10:05,300 Тот ботинок теплый был, было в нем удобно."
- 00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:09,140 Так что отныне Алан...
- 00:10:09,390 --> 00:10:13,480 ...станет тем аршином, которым мы будем мерить всех твоих парней
- 00:10:13,730 --> 00:10:14,890 Каких еще парней?
- 00:10:15,140 --> 00:10:18,310 - Нет, это и есть "тот самый". - Правда?
- 00:10:18,560 --> 00:10:22,530 Я бы вышел за него за одну только пародию на Дэвида Хасселхофа
- 00:10:22,780 --> 00:10:26,700 Теперь я буду делать этот номер в компаниях!
- 00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:32,200 - А знаете, чем он особенно хорош? - Чем?
- 00:10:32,450 --> 00:10:37,170 В его присутствии я сам нравлюсь себе
- 00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:59,400 Как прошла игра?
- 00:11:01,410 --> 00:11:04,370 Мы выиграли!
- 00:11:04,620 --> 00:11:08,370 Потрясающе! Вопрос: а так бывает?
- 00:11:08,620 --> 00:11:10,830 - Это Алан. - Он просто лучший!
- 00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:14,630 Как Багс Банни - сразу во всех местах
- 00:11:14,880 --> 00:11:19,840 На 1-й базе Алан, на 2-й - Алан...
- 00:11:21,970 --> 00:11:25,470 Именно он сделал нас командой
- 00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:31,770 Мы показали кузькину мать этим еврейским ювелирам
- 00:11:31,770 --> 00:11:33,400 Можно вопрос?
- 00:11:33,650 --> 00:11:36,110 Вам не кажется, что иногда...
- 00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:37,320 Что?
- 00:11:37,570 --> 00:11:40,150 Алана бывает слишком много?
- 00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:43,870 Нет, невозможно. Его много не бывает
- 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:48,830 Мы обожаем этот исходящий от него "аланизм"
- 00:11:49,080 --> 00:11:52,830 Да, больше аланизма для пользы организма
- 00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:58,340 Привет, Лиззи
- 00:11:58,590 --> 00:11:59,920 Привет, двинутая
- 00:12:00,170 --> 00:12:03,140 - Я тебе супчика с буквами купила. - А гласные повыбирала?
- 00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:07,390 Да, но букву "Ё" оставила. Без нее, понимаешь...
- 00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:08,770 И еще кое-что
- 00:12:09,020 --> 00:12:10,020 Соленые крекеры?
- 00:12:10,270 --> 00:12:12,890 Нет. Хочешь 1000 долларов и телефон?
- 00:12:13,150 --> 00:12:15,400 Что?
- 00:12:15,650 --> 00:12:17,230 О боже!
- 00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:20,240 - Это настоящие деньги. - Ага.
- 00:12:20,490 --> 00:12:22,070 Ты чего это, двинутая?
- 00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:25,280 Хочу отдать их тебе. Мне не нужно
- 00:12:25,530 --> 00:12:27,370 Нет, я должна дать что-то взамен
- 00:12:27,620 --> 00:12:29,200 Нет, не обязательно
- 00:12:29,450 --> 00:12:31,370 Хочешь шапочку из фольги?
- 00:12:31,620 --> 00:12:34,420 Нет, она тебе нужнее. Спасибо
- 00:12:34,670 --> 00:12:37,130 Пожалуйста, ну хоть что-нибудь
- 00:12:37,380 --> 00:12:43,010 Ладно, купи мне газировки - и мы квиты. Хорошо?
- 00:13:45,740 --> 00:13:47,820 Сдачи не надо
- 00:13:48,070 --> 00:13:48,950 Спасибо, Лиззи!
- 00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:50,410 Точно не хочешь бублик?
- 00:13:50,660 --> 00:13:55,250 - Нет, спасибо. - Тогда пока.
- 00:14:01,500 --> 00:14:03,880 Большой палец?!
- 00:14:04,970 --> 00:14:07,220 Ага. Открываю, а он там...
- 00:14:07,470 --> 00:14:12,260 ...плавает, как бы говоря: "Подъехал, блин, автостопом!"
- 00:14:12,680 --> 00:14:16,850 Может, это акция? Типа "Собери все пять"?
- 00:14:17,850 --> 00:14:19,100 Хотите посмотреть?
- 00:14:19,350 --> 00:14:22,230 Нет, спасибо!
- 00:14:22,650 --> 00:14:24,190 Нет-нет, брось это!
- 00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:27,400 Это еще хуже пальца
- 00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:29,490 Знаете, так нечестно
- 00:14:29,740 --> 00:14:31,120 Почему это нечестно?
- 00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:34,080 Ну, у меня плохая привычка! Большое дело!
- 00:14:34,330 --> 00:14:36,960 А что, хруст пальцев Джои никого не раздражает?
- 00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:39,330 А как Росс подчеркивает каждое слово!
- 00:14:39,580 --> 00:14:41,880 А Моника хрюкает, когда смеется
- 00:14:42,130 --> 00:14:45,880 Это что, нормально?
- 00:14:46,090 --> 00:14:50,890 Я терплю все ваши привычки. Потерпите и вы меня!
- 00:14:56,560 --> 00:15:01,360 Мой хруст пальцами раздражает всех или только его?
- 00:15:03,730 --> 00:15:07,030 Ну, я бы прожила и без него
- 00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:14,490 А он раздражает чуть-чуть или так же, как Фиби, жующая волосы?
- 00:15:15,910 --> 00:15:19,040 Не слушай его, Фибс. Это очень мило
- 00:15:19,290 --> 00:15:23,040 Да не-у-же-ли в са-мом де-ле?
- 00:15:27,710 --> 00:15:30,840 Не вижу ничего плохого в правильной четкой речи.
- 00:15:31,090 --> 00:15:35,350 Со-вер-шен-но вер-но
- 00:15:35,930 --> 00:15:37,720 Пойду-ка я работать
- 00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:42,850 А то не дай бог кто-то вовремя получит свой заказ
- 00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:48,240 Ой-ой-ой, выплюнула волосы - открылась варежка!
- 00:16:02,170 --> 00:16:05,880 У тебя когда-нибудь был парень, которого любили все твои друзья?
- 00:16:06,130 --> 00:16:08,670 Нет
- 00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:14,010 А вот моего все мои друзья обожают
- 00:16:14,260 --> 00:16:16,760 Это те самые шакалы?
- 00:16:17,010 --> 00:16:21,140 Надо же, какая зубастая дичь!
- 00:16:21,390 --> 00:16:22,770 Представляешь?
- 00:16:23,020 --> 00:16:24,600 Но знаешь, в чем беда?
- 00:16:24,860 --> 00:16:27,610 Я не ощущаю "того самого"
- 00:16:27,860 --> 00:16:30,440 Они "то самое" ощущают. А я - нет
- 00:16:30,690 --> 00:16:33,490 Милая, поверь мне...
- 00:16:33,740 --> 00:16:36,990 ..."то самое" нужно даже пощупать
- 00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:41,200 Но если все так плохо, Моника - то брось его
- 00:16:41,460 --> 00:16:43,080 Это будет тяжело
- 00:16:43,330 --> 00:16:45,170 Он большой мальчик. Переживет
- 00:16:45,420 --> 00:16:50,460 Он-то - да. Меня волнуют те пятеро
- 00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:52,380 Ты подумал о своем здоровье?
- 00:16:52,630 --> 00:16:54,720 Что ты с собой делаешь?
- 00:16:54,970 --> 00:16:56,970 Да понял я все: и про рак...
- 00:16:57,220 --> 00:16:59,060 ...и про эмфизему, и про сердце
- 00:16:59,310 --> 00:17:04,350 Но самое главное - курить приятно, и вы это знаете
- 00:17:07,060 --> 00:17:08,730 Чендлер, Алан хочет поговорить с тобой
- 00:17:08,980 --> 00:17:12,320 Правда? Поговорить со мной?
- 00:17:12,360 --> 00:17:15,860 Привет, дружище! Как дела?
- 00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:19,030 Так она тебе сказала, да?
- 00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:23,960 Да, время от времени. И сейчас тоже
- 00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:27,330 Да что тут такого...
- 00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:31,460 Да, это правда
- 00:17:32,300 --> 00:17:36,470 Ух ты, в таком свете я об этом не думал
- 00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:40,220 Ладно, спасибо
- 00:17:49,020 --> 00:17:51,650 Как это ему удается?
- 00:17:51,900 --> 00:17:54,900 - Как жаль, что он не женщина... - О да!
- 00:18:00,700 --> 00:18:02,120 Опять эта овца!
- 00:18:02,370 --> 00:18:05,660 Сколько лет этому носку?
- 00:18:05,910 --> 00:18:11,300 Если бы я проносил носок на руке 30 лет, он бы тоже заговорил
- 00:18:11,420 --> 00:18:17,590 Так, пора сменить кое-кому никотиновый пластырь
- 00:18:20,010 --> 00:18:20,850 Где Джои?
- 00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:25,640 Он съел мою последнюю жвачку, и я его убил
- 00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:29,270 Думаешь, я был неправ?
- 00:18:29,350 --> 00:18:32,270 По-моему, он у себя
- 00:18:32,610 --> 00:18:34,650 Вот так
- 00:18:34,900 --> 00:18:37,990 У-у, я весь аж засиял от удовольствия
- 00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:42,410 Фибс, будешь это доедать? Фибс.
- 00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:47,210 Кто-нибудь хочет это доесть?
- 00:18:47,410 --> 00:18:49,670 Я бы не отказался
- 00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:51,750 Извини
- 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:57,050 Подлые производители воды выплатили мне 7 000 долларов компенсации
- 00:18:57,630 --> 00:19:01,640 А по пути назад я вступила в жвачку
- 00:19:01,640 --> 00:19:03,850 Куда катится вселенная?
- 00:19:04,100 --> 00:19:05,060 Что такое?
- 00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:07,940 Так хорошо, когда друзья собираются вместе
- 00:19:08,190 --> 00:19:12,990 Еще лучше, если кому-то дадут надеть трусы
- 00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:24,000 Ребята, прошу вас, нужно поговорить
- 00:19:24,250 --> 00:19:25,080 Стоп!
- 00:19:25,330 --> 00:19:27,080 У меня дежавю
- 00:19:27,330 --> 00:19:30,040 Нет, нету
- 00:19:31,340 --> 00:19:32,380 Так вот, надо поговорить
- 00:19:32,630 --> 00:19:35,090 Вот опять!
- 00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:39,340 Это насчет Алана
- 00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:43,180 Я хочу кое-что вам сказать
- 00:19:43,220 --> 00:19:48,020 Говорить это мне нелегко
- 00:19:48,230 --> 00:19:52,230 Но я решила его бросить
- 00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:58,660 У тебя есть кто-то другой?
- 00:20:00,660 --> 00:20:01,660 Нет-нет, просто...
- 00:20:01,910 --> 00:20:04,870 ...все меняется. Люди меняются
- 00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:08,870 Мы не меняемся
- 00:20:09,630 --> 00:20:13,130 И все? Все кончено?
- 00:20:13,300 --> 00:20:15,510 Вот так просто?
- 00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:22,180 Только разрушишь эту стену и пустишь кого-то в свое сердце...
- 00:20:24,350 --> 00:20:28,190 - Ну, я могла бы притворяться... - Давай!
- 00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:31,480 Но это было бы нечестно по отношению ко всем нам
- 00:20:31,730 --> 00:20:33,770 Да кому нужна эта честность!
- 00:20:34,020 --> 00:20:39,320 Я хочу, чтобы у нас все было как раньше
- 00:20:39,740 --> 00:20:40,570 Извини
- 00:20:40,820 --> 00:20:45,370 Она извинилась! Мне сразу полегчало!
- 00:20:45,580 --> 00:20:47,000 Мне прямо не верится!
- 00:20:47,250 --> 00:20:52,920 На выходные я хотела познакомить его с родителями
- 00:20:53,170 --> 00:20:56,130 Я познакомлюсь с кем-то другим. Будут и другие Аланы
- 00:20:56,380 --> 00:20:59,010 Да, конечно!
- 00:21:02,340 --> 00:21:04,010 Как вы, ребята, переживете?
- 00:21:04,260 --> 00:21:05,890 Да ну, переживем
- 00:21:06,140 --> 00:21:09,310 Нам просто понадобится время
- 00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:12,900 Я понимаю
- 00:21:18,030 --> 00:21:18,990 Извини, ради бога
- 00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:22,360 И ты меня извини
- 00:21:22,610 --> 00:21:24,700 Но надо сказать, мне даже полегчало
- 00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:25,950 Полегчало?
- 00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:29,870 Ну, с тобой-то мне было хорошо
- 00:21:30,120 --> 00:21:34,130 Но вот твоих друзей я не выношу
- 00:21:39,150 --> 00:21:44,110 Помните, как мы катались на лодках в Центральном Парке?
- 00:21:44,700 --> 00:21:47,700 Так здорово было
- 00:21:48,120 --> 00:21:51,870 Он греб прямо как викинг
- 00:21:59,210 --> 00:22:01,590 Ну, как все прошло?
- 00:22:02,010 --> 00:22:02,840 Да так
- 00:22:03,090 --> 00:22:06,470 Он про нас вспоминал?
- 00:22:10,350 --> 00:22:14,600 Сказал, что будет очень по вам скучать
- 00:22:19,610 --> 00:22:20,820 Тяжелый был день?
- 00:22:21,070 --> 00:22:22,400 Не говори
- 00:22:22,650 --> 00:22:25,650 Иди ко мне
- 00:22:27,450 --> 00:22:30,080 - Ну все! Иду за сигаретами. - Нет, нет, нет!
- 00:22:30,330 --> 00:22:31,240 Мне плевать! Конец игры!
- 00:22:31,490 --> 00:22:34,540 Я слабый! Я хочу курить! Я покурю!
- 00:22:34,790 --> 00:22:38,330 Если бросишь курить навсегда, я дам тебе 7 000 долларов
- 00:22:38,580 --> 00:22:41,710 Хорошо, согласен
- 00:22:43,420 --> 00:22:45,420 Перевод В.Бродового
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